


around here we all look out for each other

by prismvtic



Category: Fifth Harmony (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Small Town, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, High School, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Multi, Polyamory, Secret Relationship, Slow Burn, Unrequited Love, minor caminah that's more of a close friendship rather than a relationship at first
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-09
Updated: 2018-12-12
Packaged: 2019-03-15 16:18:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 172,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13617042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prismvtic/pseuds/prismvtic
Summary: Silver, Texas is full of secrets and gossip alike. Say one thing wrong, and it's guaranteed to be spread to the whole town by sundown; there goes the good reputation of someone's family name.For Lauren Jauregui, she's just trying to keep her feelings for a certain cheerleader that denies her sexuality under control while attempting to come to terms with the scandalous nature of her family's business. For Dinah Jane Hansen, she's in love with her best friend, but she won't even give her the time of day, plus her own mother is off her rocker. For Camila Cabello, she can barely come to terms with the fact that she has feelings for a girl, and she wants so badly to accept herself, but it's impossible when her dad's a very homophobic prominent figure in Silver.These girls just hope their town won't bury them alive with scrutiny before they can even figure out their own feelings.





	1. one: you're fucking whipped for her already, jauregui

**Author's Note:**

> hello all and welcome to my next big project. yes, i'll still be working on the black mirror aus and hiwydsi on the side but this is very much something that will be updated a little more frequently than the others. it's going to be divided into three parts. the first part is lauren's story and the development of camren. the second part is dinah's story that focuses on the bumpy road that is laurinah. the final part is camila's story and tells the tale of the three girls all in a relationship with each other in a not-so accepting town. it's going to be quite an adventure my friends so enjoy. :)

**PART ONE: THE VISIONARY**

The truck was a piece of shit. A fixed up piece of shit that Lauren Jauregui drove to school every single day. Her dad couldn’t afford a truck for Lauren, so they just stole one that some idiot left at her dad’s auto shop in a hurry. Lauren loved her piece of shit though. There was something relaxing about driving something that was just as beaten down and frowned upon like her and her family in a neighborhood of junkies. She pulled her sunglasses down to the bridge of her nose as she slid the Fleetwood Mac CD into the player. The first chords of the “The Chain” played softly as Lauren leaned back into her seat.

_“Listen to the wind blow, watch the sun rise_

_Running in the shadows, damn your love, damn your lies”_

Lauren reached into her glove compartment and pulled out her small package of Marlboro cigarettes and placed them in her lap. She wouldn’t smoke yet, not when she was driving seventy miles an hour on the empty highway; but the moment she reached Harrison High, she’d light one up before any teacher could stop her. It was the perfect way to get rid of first day nerves.

 _“And if you don’t love me now, you will never love me again,”_ Lauren sang along softly as she gripped the steering wheel. _“I can still hear you saying you will never break the chain.”_

She adjusted her rearview mirror and let her voice die out as she listened to one of her favorite songs of all time. Fleetwood Mac was a genius band; _Rumors_ was a genius album, there was no doubt about that.

Her gaze moved from the rearview mirror to the front of the road. In front of her was a small dot and a little bit of smoke coming out from it at the side of the road. The car must have been busted; and here came Lauren Jauregui, daughter of the mechanic Mike Jauregui, speeding down the highway to her rescue. Or not, Lauren wasn’t great at cars. She just knew what the hell was wrong with them.

Lauren pressed gently on the brake and slowed her car as she came upon the car. It was a white Mercedes-Benz, probably owned by someone who lived in the nice part of Silver. Even in a small town of barely over six hundred, there was a fine line between the rich and the poor. Sitting on the trunk of a car was a high school-aged girl in a royal blue and white cheerleading uniform. Obviously one of the twelve elite cheerleaders that got on the squad in their small high school. Silver loved their beauty pageants and football games too much. No girl on the cheer squad hadn’t won a beauty pageant at least once.

She pulled up behind the broken Mercedes and put her car in park. She reluctantly turned off her CD and flung her sunglasses off. Lauren hated pretending to play car doctor, but she had so much time to kill anyways. Why not be a good person for once? With her combat boots, she kicked the car door open and stepped out onto the dusty highway.

“Oh, thank goodness!” the cheerleader gushed out. “I was so worried for a second, it’s the first day of school and being late meant I was off the squad and-” Lauren slowly turned to face her and she watched the color drain from the cheerleader’s face. “L-Lauren?”

“Cabello,” Lauren replied coolly as she leaned against her own car. “Thought your daddy would prepare you better with a good car.”

Her face flushed and she bit her lip. “Well, yes, but-”

“No worries, I’ll take a look at it,” Lauren cut her off with a small smirk at her flustered face. She yawned and walked past the cheerleader and towards the hood of her car. “Still, a Mercedes-Benz? This looks fucking vintage,” she remarked.

The cheerleader nodded fervently as she watched Lauren. “It is. From the 80’s I think. I really wanted a vintage looking car instead of all the fancy stuff that’s out today.”

“Heated seats, good stereo, warning systems,” Lauren listed off as she popped open the trunk. She coughed when she was greeted by a large cloud of black smoke and waved it away. “A real fucking luxury-” She coughed again. “Worth more than both of my kidneys.”

“Ah, I’m sorry,” she apologized. “Can you just… tell me what’s wrong with it? And try to fix it?”

Lauren shrugged. “I don’t got any tools on me, but I can tell from here that the engine’s busted for sure.” The cheerleader groaned loudly in response. “You’re gonna definitely need to call my pop and ask him for a tow.”

The cheerleader sighed frustratedly. “Ugh! Really? I swear I didn’t do anything to mess it up!” she protested.

“And I’m sure you didn’t, Cabello,” Lauren agreed. “It’s just your poor choice in cars.”

The cheerleader winced. “Please, just call me Camila.”

“I only call my friends by their first name, Cabello, and we ain’t friends,” she shot back.

“Fine! ...Jauregui.”

Lauren rolled her eyes and chuckled. “Am I supposed to be insulted by that?” Camila barely shrugged her shoulders and bowed her head. “You’re cute, I’ll give you that.” Her cheeks flushed once again. “And since I’m somewhat amused by you right now, I’ll give you a ride.”

“Listen, I can just call Shawn-” Camila began to protest.

“The quarterback?” Lauren snorted in disbelief. “Pussy whipped for Camila Cabello, who would have thought?”

Camila’s jaw clenched and she slid off the car, making several menacing steps towards her. “Why are you so vulgar and rude?”

“Why are you so fucking innocent and sweet?”

Lauren lips curved into a smirk at Camila’s lack of response and widened eyes. Camila just huffed and moved to grab her bag from the front seat of her car. Lauren took that as a cue to slam the hood down of Camila’s car. She looked up and saw Camila waiting for her with her backpack on her shoulder.

“I’m, uh, thanks for the ride…” Camila mumbled.

Lauren laughed quietly. “Don’t thank me yet, I could still decide to just leave you.” She had to stop herself from laughing again when Camila’s expression changed to a look of worry. “I’m kidding, Cabello, I’m not a total jackass.”

Camila shrugged. “Some say you are, Mani says you aren’t,” she said in reply as she walked to the passenger side of Lauren’s truck. She couldn’t help but grin at the way Camila glanced at her car and cringe in disgust at how cheap and crude it looked.

“Well, Mani is one smart cookie. She’s got good judgment,” Lauren remarked as she slid back into the car and turned it on.

“Right, I forgot you’re friends with her,” Camila muttered.

Lauren raised a brow as she turned her wheel to the left so she could get out from behind Camila’s car. “Of course, I work with her. Why wouldn’t I be friends with her? She’s the only cool cheerleader.”

“Hey! I’m cool!”

Lauren chuckled and shifted into drive. The truck rumbled aggressively as she pulled back out onto to the highway.

A few seconds later, she felt Camila slap her arm. “Ow!” Lauren cried out as she jerked her head to the side to glare at her. “What the fuck, Cabello?”

“Tell me I’m cool,” Camila ordered.

“No.”

“Please?”

“Fuck you.”

Camila whined and reached over to the top of the glove compartment to grab the Fleetwood Mac CD case. “If you don’t say it, I’ll throw this out the window,” she threatened, waving the case in front of Lauren’s face. Lauren nearly swerved off the road because of Camila’s distracting.

“Do you want us to die?” Lauren shot back angrily as she focused her gaze on the road.

“Well, obviously you do, because you’re driving fifteen miles over the speed limit, “ Camila replied with a shrug. “Ariana’s dad’s the sheriff, I could report you.”

Lauren sighed agitatedly and slowed the car down. She could practically feel Camila glowing because she listened to her.

“I still think you’re missing something,” Camila sang out.

She groaned at the cheerleader. “You’re not a cool cheerleader,” she said flatly and hid her laugh when Camila gasped loudly. “You’re a fucking adorable cheerleader.” Lauren briefly glanced to the side to see her reaction. Sure enough, Camila’s cheeks were turning crimson. Something about her effect on her made Lauren proud of herself.

Camila cleared her throat. “Uh, well, for someone who says we aren’t friends. You sure make a lot of friendly compliments.”

“Who says they’re supposed to be friendly?” Lauren asked, surprising herself. She bit down on her inner cheek to stop herself from showing her worried expression. She didn’t want to cross a line or anything. Hell, she didn’t even know Camila all that well. Lauren only made suggestive comments to people she knew were comfortable with it.

“They shouldn’t be more than friendly or anything like that, it can’t,” Camila said finally in a light voice. “Pastor Hernandez said that homosexuality is a sin-”

“-projected onto humanity by the lust of the devil?” Lauren finished for her with a forced smile. “Please, I wasn’t flirting, Cabello.”

Camila nodded slowly and muttered something to herself. Lauren didn’t quite catch what she said but it sounded like something that made Lauren’s heart speed up at the thought. Though she wouldn’t let her mind wander to that territory, not when half of the town looked upon any two people of the same sex near each other with great scrutiny. She turned her attention back to the road and hummed quietly. The drive to the high school wasn’t too far, a solid fifteen minutes away; it was mostly because the high school also included students from the towns of Delta and Webster and it needed to be in a centralized location.

“Are you thinking of joining any clubs?” Camila asked to break the silence that overcame their car for seven minutes and twenty-three seconds, not that Lauren was counting or anything.

Lauren shook her head. “No, why would I?”

Camila shrugged. “Dunno. I don’t see you around school much.”

“When I’m not at school, I’m working at the diner or jamming with the band,” she replied. “I don’t want to hang around that place longer than I should. Once I graduate, I’m fucking booking it from this shit scene.”

“And go where?”

“Los Angeles, New York, Nashville, fuck if I know…”

Camila tilted her head to the side. “And what if you come back?”

Lauren pursed her lips. “I won’t. There’s nothing here for me.” She glanced over at Camila who was watching her interestedly. “No decent family, no high school romances to rekindle-”

“What about your friends? Your bandmates?” she inquired curiously.

“They’re coming with me,” Lauren answered. “All of us. We’re gonna stay a band after high school. Rent some shitty apartment and busk until some scout picks us up.”

Camila sighed slowly and adjusted her high ponytail. “That doesn’t sound like much of a plan, I’ll be honest. Small town girls with big dreams often get crushed.”

Lauren was taken aback by Camila’s pessimistic tone. Girls like her were supposed to be ditzy, optimistic, too dumb to even understand what was going on in the world, maybe Camila was more different than she thought she was. “For someone of your stature, you sound pretty doubtful.”

“I’ve just accepted that I’m probably never going to leave Silver,” Camila answered with a hint of sadness laced in her tone. “I’ll go to college, sure, but it’s right back to Cabello & Associates as my father’s partner.”

“Is that what you want in life?”

Camila didn’t respond at first. She just drummed her fingers on the console in between them.

“Cabello?” Lauren tried again.

The cheerleader exhaled softly. “No, it isn’t. I want to be a writer.”

A genuine smile formed on her lips as she turned the car into the parking lot of the high school. Lauren turned her head to look over at Camila as she pulled into a parking space. “I think you can. Fuck your parents, go write the next _The Great Gatsby_ or some iconic best-selling shit like that.”

Camila smiled back at her. She chewed on her lower lip and grasped onto the seat. “You really think so?”

“I don’t believe in a lot of things, Camila Cabello, but I do believe that if you have a dream then you should fuck what other people say and follow it,” Lauren stated, leaning in closer to her. To people watching, it would look like Lauren was about to kiss her, and maybe Camila thought it too because of her flushed cheeks and apprehensive expression. Really Lauren was just reaching into the compartment for her box of cigarettes. “Nice chat we had, but don’t you have some school to rule with your pom-poms and tiny skirts?”

Camila nodded quickly. “Yeah, uh, I should go…” she mumbled awkwardly as she adjusted her backpack. “Thanks for taking me to school again, Lauren. I’ll catch a ride with Ariana next time so…” she trailed off and opened the door to Lauren’s car. “See you later?”

“Nope,” Lauren hummed in reply. Camila raised a brow and Lauren gave in, succumbing to a soft laughter. “I’m kidding. You probably will.” The cheerleader laughed along with her. Both girls stopped laughing and stared at each other. Lauren wasn’t good with keeping eye contact with people, but for some reason, she _liked_ looking into her soft brown eyes. “See you, Camila.”

Lauren could tell Camila was shocked by her suddenly calling her by her first name, but she decided not to wait for reaction. She reached into the backseat and grabbed her backpack. She slipped her sunglasses on and started marching through the parking lot to Harrison High. People were already flocking to their respective friend groups. The cheerleaders were already grouped around the football players, like always. The nerds were hanging out on the walls of the school engrossed in their phones and devices. Lauren searched the grounds for at least one of three people that she actually wanted to see.

“Look who it is! It’s Miss ‘It’s Ninety Degrees Out But I’mma Still Wear Black’!”

Lauren scoffed and turned around. “I know, ain’t she beautiful?” she joked, playing along with the tall blonde known as Dinah Jane Hansen in front of her. “Do you want an autograph on your tits?”

“Oh, come here, asshole,” she huffed and threw her arms around Lauren. Lauren squeezed her tightly and rested her head on her shoulder. She rubbed her back comfortingly and sighed into Lauren’s hair. “I missed you so much.”

“We hung out all summer, Dinah,” Lauren reminded her.

Dinah snorted. “So? I’m allowed to miss my best friend.”

“Hey, dykes! Leave some room for Jesus, will you?” Austin Mahone, a dumb as hell football player, shouted from the group of popular kids.

Dinah and Lauren quickly broke away and took a few steps back from each other. Lauren glared in the direction of the group and noticed that two cheerleaders were practically on top of each other, yet none of them said anything. Her jaw clenched in response. She started advancing towards them but Dinah grabbed her arm.

“Don’t,” she pleaded. “It’s not worth it.”

“Really? Bashing his face in ‘cause he called me a dyke ain’t worth it?” Lauren shot back. “It shouldn’t fucking matter about who likes who! This town is trapped several decades in the past-”

Dinah pulled her in the direction of the school’s front door. “Lauren, you _really_ gotta watch what you say,” she hissed under her breath. “People talk, and then your family finds out like that.” She snapped her fingers to prove her point.

Lauren rolled her eyes and pulled her arm away from Dinah. “Find out what!? That I got pissed cause I got called a homophobic slur? I mean, fuck him!” She pushed open the doors to the school harshly. “We were just hugging! There’s nothing gay about that. He doesn’t have the right to-”

“Lauren, calm down,” Dinah urged as she grabbed her shoulder and turned her around. “It’s mean. It’s dumb. He’s an ignorant fool.” She glanced around the hallway and then leaned in to whisper in her year. “We have to be careful, Laur. Not everyone is as accepting as Niall and Harry.”

Lauren swallowed nervously, realizing her best friend was right. She chewed on her lower lip and nodded. “I know. But… they don’t know, do they? Austin doesn’t know that I’m-”

“Secrets are hard to keep in Silver,” Dinah interrupted her. “But surprisingly your secret, and mine, has been kept quiet.” She wrapped her arm gently around Lauren’s waist and walked her down the hallway. “One more year, then we don’t have to hide,” she whispered.

Lauren forced a smile in return. Dinah was right, for once. They had one more year to pretend that they only liked dick and Zac Efron. One year, 270 school days, that shouldn’t be too hard.

“Um, speaking of hiding,” Lauren mumbled into Dinah’s ear. “Guess who got in my baby this morning?”

Dinah shrugged. “Hm, a possum? Nasty fuckers have been roaming around the farm and eating our shit.”

She laughed and rolled her eyes. “No, Dinah, _Camila Cabello_.”

Dinah’s jaw dropped and she pushed Lauren away from her. “What!?” She gasped loudly. “Why? How? Did you _drug_ her, you sly dog!”

“No! Keep your voice down,” Lauren growled. Dinah covered her mouth and mumbled an apology. “Her car broke down. And me, being the great person that I am, came to her aid.”

“You’ve been lowkey crushing on this girl for years and your first like _real_ interaction, you come to her rescue,” Dinah gushed. “And not only that, you _give_ her a ride to school instead of calling your dad to go fix it for her and then leave. You’re fucking whipped for her already, Jauregui.”

Lauren’s cheeks flushed with embarrassment. “Shut up, Dinah, when you say it like that you make me look like a pussy.”

“Well? Did you try anything? Did you flirt?” Dinah rushed out excitedly.

“I did. Then she gave me the whole ‘I’m not gay’ and ‘homosexuality is a sin’ shit. Man, it went from 60 to 0 real quick,” Lauren remarked with an eye-roll.

Dinah smiled. But it wasn’t a sympathetic smile, it was more of a smile that was used when someone experienced schadenfreude. Lauren didn’t know what to think of it.

“Oh, I’m sorry…”

“I’m not giving up just yet,” Lauren said. “All spaghetti is straight until it’s wet.”

Dinah rolled her eyes and grabbed Lauren’s arm again. “Sure, we’ll go with that.” She looked down at Lauren and grinned. “Now, let’s go loser, we got a school to rule.”

* * *

“What do you mean we can only perform songs from an approved list!?” Harry Styles shouted as he slammed his fist down on the table he was sitting on in the band room. Well, the band room was a joke. It was just a medium sized room with a piano, drums, and a few chairs and tables. Once upon a time, Harrison High used to have a great marching band, but that died years ago.

“It’s probably Pastor Hernandez’s doing,” Niall Horan replied as he looked over Harry’s shoulder. “His daughter’s the president of the student council and the principal worships that man almost as much as God.”

Dinah, who was standing next to Lauren, rolled her eyes. “Ally wouldn’t go out of her way to regulate what we do.”

“We are a school-sponsored club. Technically they can do whatever they want,” Niall said.

Harry groaned and ran a hand through his hair. “We’re not a club though! We’re a band that just has permission to meet after school every Tuesday and Thursday.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “We don’t need them. They need us.”

Lauren sighed. “Maybe we just… don’t listen to them?” Three pairs of eyes moved towards her in amusement and surprise. “I mean, we’re seniors. Fuck what they say. No freedom, no music entertainment.”

“People will talk if we go against what the school says,” Niall argued. “I want to agree with you Lauren, but we have to think about this.”

“I’m sorry, but I really don’t feel like singing ‘Kumbaya’ in front of the school when we could be covering  _real_ artists.” Lauren flipped her hair to the side aggressively. “We can - I don’t know - do something modern!”

Dinah chuckled quietly. “The only thing approved will be modern Christian rock.”

“Nobody likes Christian rock though,” Harry said. He slid off the table and smiled in Lauren’s direction. “I think Laur’s onto something here. We can just… play something country.”

“Everyone _loves_ country,” Niall commented sarcastically.

Dinah snorted at her band mate’s remark. “Says the one who listens to it all the damn time,” she fired back and placed her hands on her hips. “Boy, I see you and all those CDs.”

Lauren and Harry burst out laughing while Niall flushed in embarrassment. The tall blonde walked over and pat him on the back. “Don’t worry, we all still love you and accept you, despite your terrible taste,” she teased.

“You think Mozart is capable of giving orgasms for the ears. Eargasms, was it? Yeah,” Lauren said with a small smirk. “So you’re one to talk.” Dinah stuck her middle finger up at her and then laughed along with her bandmates. They were certainly an interesting group of friends. They all had different backgrounds and opinions, but yet they all came together on the grounds that they loved music and roasting each other.

A knock on the band room door pulled the four of them from their conversation. The door swung open seconds later to reveal the short, student council president Ally Brooke Hernandez. “Hi, sorry to interrupt, but I have the list,” she said shyly and handed the paper to Harry. Harry glanced down at it and then raised a brow. “If you have any questions, please ask them now!”

“‘Good with God’ is on here,” Harry stated in disbelief. “But that’s a song about God being a female?”

Ally pursed her lips. “Really? My dad picked it because it shamed sinners that said they repented.”

“No offense, Ally, but your dad is an idiot,” Dinah chuckled as Ally’s ears turned bright pink at the insult directed at her father. “I’m kidding, Smallz, don’t tell the pastor or he’ll kick my siblings out of the choir.”

“Oh, um, o-okay,” Ally stuttered with a flushed face. “Is that all for questions?”

Lauren raised her hand and Ally glanced over at her. “Yes, I have one. Are you going to be at work today?”

Ally nodded vigorously. “Yeah, I am.”

“Good.” Lauren flashed her a sweet smile. “Just thought I’d ask.”

Ally smiled back at her and adjusted her sundress with shaky hands. She was always a nervous girl, Lauren assumed it was because of her scary father. It was so strange that Pastor Hernandez was intimidating and aggressive while Ally was tranquil and kind. Something must have happened when genes were combined and mixed in her DNA.

“Anyways, I should get back to class.” Ally sighed. “If y’all made up your mind, let me know ASAP.” She sent them a wave and then dashed out the door without another word.

Niall chuckled slowly. “She’s like a little mouse, a cute little mouse.”

“Paws off the pastor’s daughter,” Dinah warned with a glare. “He doesn’t think anyone is good for Ally.”

“She’ll die an old maid with ten cats,” Harry added on.

Lauren grinned and chuckled at her friends. “That sounds like the perfect life.”

“Anyways,” Harry elongated the word as he looked between each of his band members. “Are we okay with doing ‘Good with God’?” he asked with a shy smile. “It’s one of my favorite songs of all time. Rhett Miller is a lyrical genius…”

Lauren shrugged and looked at Dinah and Niall. Judging by their faces, they seemed okay with it too. She turned back to Harry, smiled at him, and then nodded.

Harry broke out into a grin and he clapped his hands together excitedly. “Great! I want Lauren to do the female solo.”

“You mean… I get to play God,” Lauren said as she raised a brow. Harry nodded. “Oh, you’re kidding. Pastor Hernandez would rather denounce his faith than let poor trash like me portray anything to do with Our Heavenly Father.”

Dinah scoffed and slapped Lauren lightly on the shoulder. “You’re being dramatic, Lauser. It’s just a song.”

“A song that we’re performing at the pep rally on Friday,” Lauren pointed out. “In front of all the cheerleaders and jocks… and they’re gonna say shit!”

“Since when do you give a fuck about what they think?” Niall asked in confusion.

“Since Mawhore called me a dyke this morning for hugging Dinah,” Lauren grumbled.

Harry’s head snapped around to face her so fast she was worried he broke his neck. “He what!? Oh, that boy is dead!” he shouted as he kicked a chair to the side angrily. “Why didn’t you screw his face up?”

“The wife told me not to,” Lauren replied as she gestured to Dinah with a wink.

Dinah pretended to swoon and wrapped her arms around Lauren. “Aww, I’m your wife? That’s so sweet,” she cooed as she nuzzled her head into Lauren’s neck. Lauren felt her cheeks heat up and she moved to push her away. Dinah just shook her head and squeezed her tighter.

Harry pretended to gag. “Ugh, stop it, you guys are so gay that it’s a miracle you haven’t been caught.”

“Fuck off,” Lauren and Dinah chastised him at the exact same time.

“Lauren doesn’t even like Dinah,” Niall teased. “She likes _Camila._ ”

Lauren’s cheeks flushed and Dinah’s grip on her loosened. “Shut up, guys. She was pretty adamant on saying she wasn’t into girls.”

“That shouldn’t stop you from trying!”

“I should have more self-respect than that, but I don’t,” Lauren grumbled. “Besides, she’s so far up the quarterback’s ass that it’s kind of gross.”

Dinah smiled sadly at her. “It’s okay, Lauren. You can still be my wife and we can run away together from the homophobes.”

Lauren turned to give her a grateful smile and nuzzled into her neck. She heard Dinah’s breath hitch from above her. “Thanks for being such a good friend.”

“No problem,” Dinah said slowly.

Harry clapped his hands again to get Lauren and Dinah’s attention. “Okay, fellow gays, it’s time for band practice! Let’s go!” he hollered as he moved to unpack his bass guitar from his case. Lauren gave Dinah another smile and then moved to take a seat at the piano.

* * *

Lauren didn’t have much of an eventful first day since the morning incident. She shared four classes with Camila and five classes with Dinah, two of them overlapped.. Since it was such a small high school, juniors and seniors had classes together so both years were very tightly knit and close to each other. In fact the high school was so small that included kids from grades six to twelve. In total that made the student body about 456 kids. After school, she had to work at the diner anyways so she sadly declined when Harry asked the band to hang out after school.

It was six o’clock, two and a half hours into Lauren’s shift, and she was exhausted. The diner was filled with teenage couples on dates and having dinner. Lauren found it sickening that she even had to serve them. The judging looks and smirks always made her uncomfortable.

“I need a cigarette,” Lauren complained as she entered the break room, “because I hate everyone out there.”

“Aw, poor Lauren,” Normani Kordei, Lauren’s only cheerleader friend, said sarcastically in response as she fixed her hair.

Lauren rolled her eyes. “Please, you may be popular, but you can’t like _everyone_ in the school.”

“That is true. I hate everyone on the squad except for Mila, I hate all jocks, and I hate most of the student body.” Normani chuckled as she tucked a few stray hairs behind her ears. “I must be the worst cheerleader.”

“Better than I would ever be,” Lauren said. “I have no school spirit. Harrison can suck my twelve-inch, non-existent dick.”

Normani burst out laughing at her remark and turned around to look at her. Lauren smiled proudly at her ability to make the most quiet and reserved cheerleader loosen up and laugh. “Fuck, that was really funny.”

Lauren winked at her and bowed her head in response. “Thank you. I try, I try.” The door burst open a few seconds later to reveal a frazzled Ally. She adjusted her blue blouse and white apron before running her hands through her hair.

“Hey,” Ally greeted tiredly as she moved to put her bag down over in one of the chairs. “Ugh, I don’t feel like working at all,” she groaned.

“You okay, girl?” Normani asked Ally softly as she moved over to help her smoothen out her hair and work uniform.

Ally nodded meekly and gently pushed away Normani’s hands from her waist. Normani looked a little taken aback at first, but her features softened and her expression returned to her normal indifferent one. Lauren furrowed her brows at the odd exchange.

“Yeah, uh, my dad wanted me to finish some things up and it took longer than expected,” she answered Normani’s inquiry with a sigh. Ally moved over to the mirror that Normani was previously standing in front of and began fixing her hair further. “I wish he’d hire some actual helpers instead of relying on me. It really takes a toll on me-”

“Hernandez, Jauregui, Kordei! Break time’s over, get out and to work!” Their manager yelled from outside the break room. All three of the girls groaned and began gathering their things. Lauren was the first to leave the room and get back to work. She yawned and walked over to the window to the kitchen. Two meals were already done and ready to be served. They weren’t for her table, but the girl who previously had them ended her shift and left right away so it was now Lauren’s responsibility.

Lauren balanced the two burgers on her arms and sauntered towards table four. No doubt a couple would be sitting there and Lauren would have to swallow her own puke. “Alright, alright…” she said enthusiastically. “I have a Lake Burger with extra barbecue sauce and a regular cheeseburger.” She placed the plates down on the table and then looked up to smile as fakely as she could. Except when she was met with familiar brown eyes and a cold blank stare from the dude across from her, her face paled.

“Oh,” Lauren exhaled. “E-Enjoy your meal.”

“Thanks, Jauregui,” Shawn said coolly as he began to put ketchup on his burger.

Camila smiled brightly up at her and slid her cheeseburger towards her. “Thanks, Lauren!” Lauren’s cheeks flushed and she practically ran back behind the counter, right smack dab into Normani.

“Woah, watch it!” Normani exclaimed. Lauren glanced up and gulped. Her friend’s expression looked slightly pissed off. She grimaced at Normani and took a step back. “The hell you running from?”

“Cabello’s here,” Lauren hissed like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Normani raised a brow and took a step closer to her. “You got an issue with my best friend? You can say it to my face.”

“Fuck,” Lauren cursed, realizing her mistake. Normani didn’t _know._ Normani probably didn’t even suspect that she wasn’t straight in the first place. “I-I don’t. I was just surprised.”

She pursed her lips at Lauren incredulously. “You do realize that this diner is crazy popular? Of course, you’re going to see her.” Lauren shrugged in response and Normani lightly slapped her shoulder. “You know, you look like this total bad bitch, but you’re really just a cute and confused puppy.”

Lauren’s cheeks flushed again at Normani’s remarks. “Shut it. I’m just-”

“Ladies,” their manager warned from the other side of the counter. “This is exactly why I hate hiring high school girls. Y'all are no better than the old ladies at the senior center, get back to work!”

“Yeah, yeah, one sec,” Normani grumbled. She turned to Lauren and grinned. “Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me.” Her cheerleader friend licked her lips and gently flicked her forehead causing Lauren to wince. “But this is Silver, so I doubt it won’t be long until the secret’s out.”

Lauren scoffed in reply and threw her rag down to wipe down the counter. Her gaze moved towards the booth where Shawn and Camila sat. He was talking about something amiably while Camila was nodding along and looking rather bored with the conversation. Lauren narrowed her eyes as she watched that exchange. They seemed to fit perfectly with each other. A tall, handsome football player with a short, gorgeous cheerleader - straight out of the movies. Lauren rubbed at one part of the counter a little harder than she should have because it started squeaking loudly. She scowled and adjusted the pressure so she wasn’t trying to wear the counter down.

When Lauren looked back up at Camila, she was looking right back at her. She had to bite her lip to prevent herself from smiling so eagerly. Camila smiled easily though like she just let herself feel and show her kindness. It was a warm smile that took Lauren’s breath away and Lauren didn’t stop the same giddy smile from returning.

All good things had to end when Shawn snapped his fingers in front of Camila to force her to look back at him. Both of their smiles faded quickly and Lauren tried to ignore the dull ache in her heart at how _quickly_ Camila looked away from her.

Maybe Dinah was right. Maybe she was already acting like a pussy because of one real interaction with her longtime crush.

Lauren got back to work waiting tables and cleaning up after messy customers, but she still snuck in time to glance over in Camila’s direction. More than half of the time she found that Camila was staring right back at her. She felt a little proud to know that she was a good distraction from someone as dull as Shawn Mendes. Camila didn’t have to say it outright for Lauren to figure out that she was bored with their date.

When Lauren was serving Hailee Steinfeld and her boyfriend, Shawn called her over for the check. She forced herself to smile brightly at the quarterback and then take the plates from them. “Remember, we take cash only,” she reminded them as she ripped her check from the book and placed it on the table. She was always well prepared for that by writing down what everyone ordered and their prices before they asked for the check.

“Ugh, $35. I shouldn’t have gotten that large cheese fries,” Shawn complained as he pulled out his wallet.

“No.” Camila placed her hand on his arm. “I’ll pay for it.”

Shawn furrowed his brows. “I asked you on the date, Mila, so I get to pay.”

“Fine,” Camila said as she leaned back against the booth. “But I’m giving her a tip.”

“A tip? Why-”

Lauren chuckled nervously. “Uh, I’m just going to go take care of some things at another table,” she lied through her teeth. “I’ll be back when you’ve made up your mind.” She didn’t want to stick around and wait for Camila and Shawn to argue and figure things out. Lauren didn’t need a tip anyway because she knew she wasn’t the best waitress ever.

She walked back behind the counter and grabbed a water pitcher. Lauren swiftly made her way to table six and refilled their water glasses with a forced smile as she welcomed all of them to Twin Lakes Diner.

“Why are you so difficult, Camila!? Gosh, darn it! It’s so hard to be around you when you act like an annoying little-” Shawn yelled loudly as he stood up and slipped his varsity jacket. Normani looked up from the table that she was serving and narrowed her eyes. “You know what? Screw this! I’m going home.”

“Wait, Shawn! I don’t have a car,” Camila cried out worriedly. But it was too late, her asshole of a date was already out of the diner. She sighed loudly and buried her head in her hands.

Lauren clenched her fists and moved over to Camila’s table to get the check. She moved to collect the money but she stopped when she noticed that there were twenty extra dollars.

“Uh, I think you paid too much,” Lauren said timidly in fear that she would set the girl off.

Camila looked up with wide eyes, but she quickly shook her head. “No,” she croaked. “I gave a tip."

“Oh,” Lauren couldn’t hide the surprise in her voice. “But… you didn’t have to,” she mumbled.

“I wanted to,” Camila replied. “It was the least I could do after you saved me this morning.”

Lauren pursed her lips. “Yeah, but I-”

Camila snorted and curved her lips into a smile. “It’s your thank you gift. Take it or I’ll stuff it in your pocket unnoticed so you’ll have to!”

She seemed to consider Camila’s words for a moment, but she didn’t want her money. There were so many more things in the world that were more valuable and lasting than money. “What if I…” Lauren trailed off and slid into the seat across from Camila before continuing, “wanted something else besides your kind donation?”

The cheerleader tilted her head to the side. “What are you suggesting?”

Lauren licked her lips and inhaled sharply. Here went nothing. “Your number?”

Camila hesitated for a second. She looked around the diner and then back at her. Her smile turned into a solemn expression. “I can’t.”

Her face fell at her rejection. “I, um, didn’t mean it like t-that,” she stuttered, “if that’s what you’re implying. I’m not, you know...”

Camila’s facial expression changed to one of relief, or maybe disappointment, it was kind of hard to tell. “Oh, okay, I-” A car honked loudly from outside the diner. Camila bit down on her lip and stood up. “I’m sorry, Lauren. I have to go.” Lauren didn’t even have a chance to protest before Camila was speeding out the door. She let out an exasperated sigh and leaned back against the booth. So much for that. Maybe Camila didn’t even want to be friends with her in the first place.

Lauren pulled her phone out and sent a message to her friends.

**Group Chat: fuck me gently with a cactus**

**lauren:** i just tried to get camila’s number and she blasted faster than jimmy neutron.

 **nail:** it’s probably bc u smell lyk cigarettes and grease

 **hairy:** omg lauren i’m so sorry

 **hairy:** YOU ARE STILL LOVED AND APPRECIATED BY ME

 **dinah pain:** i’m gonna kill that thot

 **nail:** that that hoe over there is gramatically incorrect

 **dinah pain:** niall james i will grab a knife from my kitchen, chop off your balls, and then shove them down your throat

 **hairy:** LMFOA DINAH WHERE IS YOUR CHILL

 **lauren:** i love you all so much. <3

 **dinah pain:** <333333

She sighed sadly and then got back up to work.


	2. two: curiosity runs this town

Lauren arrived at school the next day to find Dinah already leaning up against her locker waiting for her. She rolled her eyes when Dinah lifted her hand up lazily and sent her a wave. The main hallway was crowded with kids talking to each other as per usual and it was a little difficult to have any sort of conversation. A high school filled with nosy, loud small-town kids made it impossible for an individual public conversation.

“Morning,” Dinah greeted cheerfully as she slid over so Lauren could open her locker.

She smiled at her in greeting and began working on opening her combination lock. “Morning, DJ.” Dinah grinned widely. “Christ, did Mama Hansen slip some sort of drug in your grits? Cause I want some of that shit.”

Dinah scoffed and shook her head. “No, you bonehead,” she said. “Am I not allowed to be happy to see you?”

Lauren shrugged and swung her locker open. “Sure, you are. But I’m as bitter as ever so I ain’t pleasant company.”

Her best friend sighed and rubbed her back. “Is it because of-”

“No,” Lauren interrupted her sharply. She glanced over in the direction of the group of cheerleaders that were already making their way down the hallway. Camila was among them. She snapped her head back to Dinah. “I don’t want to talk about it here.”

Dinah narrowed her eyes as she too looked in the direction of the group of cheerleaders. “I still want to slap her for making assumptions. It ain’t a crime to ask for someone’s number.”

“We’re not exactly subtle. She could’ve easily caught onto, you know… us,” Lauren noted with a shrug. Just then she felt someone slap the back of her head. She stiffened and whipped her whole body around to see who the culprit was. No one was behind her. Lauren huffed and looked back ahead of her to find Normani looking at her and smirking. “Cheap shot, Kordei!” Lauren yelled across the hallway. A few other cheerleaders including Camila looked over at Lauren and Normani.

Normani blew her a kiss. “Love you too, bestie!”

Lauren chuckled and waved while Normani turned back to her friends. Camila gave her one last glance before turning back to her friends.

“Lauren Jauregui, who hates everything about Harrison High, still manages to be friends with a cheerleader,” Dinah mused.

“So, what? Mani’s awesome, not as fake as the rest of them.”

“Are you sure you ain’t saying that because she’s from your side of town?”

Her nostrils flared and she brought her finger up to Dinah’s lips. “Quiet,” she hissed. Dinah blinked in confusion and bowed her head. “People don’t _know_ -”

“Know what? That her mom’s body is more alcohol than blood these days? Or her daddy’s the man who pumps gas and gives kids free lollipops?”

Lauren nodded firmly with a tight-lipped smile. “Yes.” She glanced over to see if people were listening. No one seemed to be interested in Dinah and Lauren, even though their faces were very close to each other and any paranoid homophobe would think that they looked about ready to kiss. “Don’t wreck her reputation because she’s lying about her background,” she warned.

“Right, sorry,” Dinah mumbled awkwardly. Lauren smiled at her reassuringly and reached over to grab her hand. She noticed that Dinah tensed briefly but then relaxed as her eyes practically sparkled with glee.

The bell rang, signifying that there was one minute until class.

“C’mon, let’s get to homeroom,” Lauren said as she intertwined their fingers and pulled her to the direction of their classroom in the west wing of the school. Dinah’s smile grew and she jogged briefly to catch up with her so they were walking hand in hand to class. She held the door open for Dinah and allowed her best friend to go in before her. Lauren tried her best not to grin too widely at the wink Dinah sent her as she tugged her into the room.

Unfortunately, Austin Mahone was also in their homeroom along with Normani, Ariana, and tons of other popular kids. His cold glare caused Lauren to immediately drop Dinah’s hand and shuffle over to Harry and Ally. She slid into the desk behind her friends and watched their exchange. Harry was talking amiably about something music-related while Ally’s head bobbed as she listened. Dinah plopped down into the desk next to her and sent her a knowing smirk.

Ally _totally_ had the hots for Harry.

“Lovebirds.” Lauren cleared her throat to break their conversation. Ally’s cheeks flushed as she turned around to face Lauren while Harry looked at her with furrowed brows.

“We weren’t… I wasn’t-” Ally rushed out quickly.

Harry chuckled and placed a hand on Ally’s shoulder. She flinched at the contact. “Easy, she’s teasing.” He glared in the direction of Lauren. “Right?”

“Yes, teenage heartthrob, I was,” Lauren said with a roll of her eyes. She chuckled softly at Ally’s sigh of relief. “I know your daddy screams at the mention of any boy near you.”

Ally nodded. “Unfortunately. He’s overprotective, but he’s a good man, I promise.”

“He called my little sister a tiny Lucifer because she sang a note too flat,” Dinah grumbled. Ally’s eyes widened and she hid her face in her hands. Lauren glared at her, knowing that it definitely wasn’t true. Regina Hansen had the voice of an angel. “I’m kidding, sheesh,” Dinah apologized to Lauren rather than Ally.

Homeroom was more of a joke than an actual class. It was more like an extra study hall. All the teacher did was take attendance and then let the kids talk to themselves. Whenever there was an assembly, homeroom was the time designated for those events. The only reason Lauren went to them because her band performed all the time. If it were up to her, she’d run off to the bathroom and stay in there until English.

The senior class was small. There were about seventy-six kids in total and each homeroom class was divided into different classes, one class for each town. Silver consisted of thirty-five seniors, Delta had seventeen, and Webster had twenty-four. Silver was the larger town of the three schools so it made sense that they would have more students from there.

Dinah was actually a special case because of her smarts. She was supposed to be a junior, but she skipped the first grade without any trouble. Skipping grades in small towns was quite unheard of. Everyone thought Dinah was a genius, and she was. Lauren knew that Dinah was smarter than even her. The poor girl just didn’t have any executive function so her genius was well-hidden.

“Yo, where’s Niall?” Dinah asked in a hushed voice as their homeroom teacher took attendance.

“His mama told me that he’s sick,” Harry whispered in reply. “I think he’s lying though.”

Lauren shrugged. “He’s probably woozy because of this damn heat.” She wiped the sweat forming on her forehead as proof. Harrison High didn’t have any air conditioners which really sucked.

“This is why you should stop wearing black,” Dinah chastised as she gestured to Lauren’s outfit that consisted of a navy skirt, black v-neck, and black tights with combat boots.

Lauren rolled her eyes. “I look hot,” she remarked as she did a body roll to show off. Dinah’s eyes bugged out slightly and she bit down on her lip.

“Too hot,” Dinah mumbled under her breath causing Lauren to smirk proudly.

“Guys, shh,” Ally hushed them and then turned back to the front. Lauren had to snort. She was such a goody two shoes.

“What the fuck are we even supposed to be listening to?” Dinah whispered in Lauren’s ear. “Attendance doesn’t require total silence.”

The teacher snapped his fingers and motioned for Dinah and Lauren to separate. “Hansen and Jauregui, cut your whispering out. You’ll have plenty of time to talk later.”

Lauren groaned and rolled her eyes. “Sorry, _sir._ ”

“Ooh, girl, watch that attitude,” Normani hollered from the other side of the room.

Several people burst out laughing at Normani’s remark while Ally bowed her head and bit her lip.

In response to Normani, Lauren just shrugged her shoulders. The rest of attendance was filled out and Ariana Grande immediately jumped up to take it down to the office. Lauren had to wonder which girl was more of a kiss-ass, the sheriff’s daughter or the pastor’s daughter. One was the student council president while the other was the head cheerleader. It was too close to call.

With the teacher going back to his work, Harry and Ally took that as an opportunity to turn back around and talk to Lauren and Dinah.

“So…” Harry yawned. “I got no sleep last night.”

“Homework?” Dinah inquired with amusement.

“Nah, songwriting.” He grinned and bobbed his head in the direction of Ally. “I showed some of it to her before y’all came in.”

“So you show Ally your work, but not your own bandmates?” Dinah laughed softly and crossed her arms over her chest. “That just ain’t right.”

Harry shrugged his shoulders. “I was gonna show you too, Dinah! But you were off doing God knows what with Lauren before class!”

“We were just talking,” she shot back.

Lauren noticed Harry’s eyebrows raise and he mouthed something to Dinah that caused her Tongan best friend to scowl and hide her face behind her hands. Lauren could only watch in amusement as Ally glanced over at her with puzzlement plastered on her features.

Lauren reached over and snatched the papers off of Harry’s desk, ignoring his shriek in protest. She just smiled innocently at him and began skimming the lyrics he had written down. In all honesty, his lyrics were so real and raw. It wasn’t like reading a soft bubblegum pop song. His song was pure rock n’ roll. “Shit, this is good.”

Her bandmate furrowed his brows in surprise. “You think so?”

“Yeah, I mean… _wow_ , it’s something I would listen to on repeat for days,” she complimented. A smile grew on his lips. “I’m only basing this on the lyrics. For all I know, the instrumentals could be absolutely terrible.”

“Well, that’s why we have you and Niall to arrange and compose things,” Harry said.

Dinah grinned. “You’re right, Curls. Lauren here is a musical genius.” She ruffled Lauren’s hair with her right hand while Lauren scowled at her best friend for messing up her hair. “Oh, don’t give me that look!”

Lauren rolled her eyes. “You’re making my hair a Hansen’s Dairy Farm possum’s nest. _Literally_.”

Dinah smacked her on the side of the head and Lauren yelped out in pain. “Ow! Spousal abuse!”

“You probably deserved it,” Harry said with a grin.

Ally shook her head. “No, she doesn’t! Don’t do that-” She was interrupted when she saw someone tower over her. Lauren looked up to see Normani Kordei, donning her royal blue cheer uniform and a wide grin, listening to their conversation.

“What’s up y’all? Can I join?”

Ally averted her gaze from Normani and looked down at her lap. Dinah nodded and patted the seat behind Lauren. “Sure thing. You sure you don’t wanna hang out with your pom-pom gals?”

Normani shook her head and walked over to the desk behind Lauren. “No, Ariana’s talking about her obsession with death metal,” she mumbled. She leaned over to whisper in Lauren’s ear, “who in the right mind would listen to death metal?”

“Ariana, apparently,” Lauren mumbled in reply.

“Listening to death metal isn’t as repulsive as being a secret lesbian, am I right? That’s just downright sinful.” Ally’s words caused Lauren to freeze up. Her jaw clenched and her thoughts turned to ones of her encounters with Camila yesterday. It was so hard for her to keep her expression neutral when her _friends_ were degrading her and her sexual orientation.

With a tight-lipped smile, she nodded while Dinah’s gaze burned into her.

“Right,” Normani muttered. “Because that just would be an _abomination_ ,” she snarked. Ally’s eyes widened slightly and she glanced at Normani briefly, but her gaze moved back down to her lap.

Something was up between Normani and Ally, and she was going to find out. But before she could examine them further, Harry changed the subject leaving the tense interactions between the pair forgotten. Not Lauren though. She wouldn’t forget the way Normani’s face would fall whenever Ally relayed her father’s words.

* * *

“Man, my sister’s cornbread is as hard as a rock.” Dinah spat out a partially chewed yellow blob onto the sidewalk. Harry and Lauren both grimaced in disgust at their friend’s rude behavior. Ally decided to sit with them too, which was rather odd. Ally usually had lunch alone and then spent the rest of lunch in the library. This only made Lauren further believe that Ally had feelings for Harry.

Lauren narrowed her eyes and pulled her cigarette box out of her pocket. Dinah shook her head and scowled. “Hell no! You ain’t lighting one up with Ally around!”

She rolled her eyes and put the box away again. “Sorry.”

“You can’t even smoke on school grounds,” Ally reminded her.

“Really? I didn’t know,” Lauren snarked as she popped a potato chip in her mouth.

“Quit being a dick,” Harry hissed.

Lauren just batted her eyelashes innocently and ruffled his hair. “I wasn’t actually going to. Sometimes I just carry them around and say I smoke them to look cool,” she admitted truthfully. “But when days at the diner get crazy, I do light ‘em up.”

Dinah chuckled quietly. “You learn something new about Lauren Jauregui every day.” Lauren winked in reply and stuffed some more potato chips in her mouth.

“Why are you even seeing him, Mila? He’s an asshole!” Ariana reprimanded loudly as she passed their table. Lauren’s head whipped around to find Camila and Ariana arguing as they walked back towards the school.

“I have to,” Camila sighed.

Ariana grabbed her wrist and shook her head. “No, you don’t!”

“It’s complicated-”

“The fucking drama in this place,” Dinah remarked as the two cheerleaders moved away from earshot. “Welcome to Harrison High, guaranteed to be a school featured on a pilot for a reality show with kids that got an ego bigger than Kanye West and the Kardashian clan.” She flipped her hair to the side dramatically. “Our first subjects: Camila Cabello and Ariana Grande.”

Harry rolled his eyes. “Shut up, Hansen. Mind your own business.”

“Oh, boy, tell that to the six hundred gossips of Silver,” Lauren quipped.

Ally shrugged. “But with scandal after scandal, the heat only lasts for ‘bout a week max then it’s on to someone else getting blasted.”

“Mhm,” Dinah hummed in reply.

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom,” Lauren said abruptly. She didn’t really; she was just concerned about Camila, and maybe a little curious as to what was being said.

No one questioned it though. Harry and Ally just shrugged and Dinah sent her a wave.

“Hope everything comes out okay!”

Lauren slung her backpack over her shoulder and walked back towards the school. She strode confidently through the back entrance of the school and set a determined course for the bathroom.

Unfortunately, she ran right smack dab into Ariana.

“Ugh, watch it, hobo!”

“Weak insult, try again next time,” Lauren rebuked as she shoved past Ariana and made her way into the bathroom. Camila, in all her popular getup, was leaning over the sink and staring into the mirror.

Lauren hummed softly as she pushed open the door to one of the stalls. Camila heard her apparently because she heard heels pivoting towards her at light speed.

“Lauren?”

“Cabello,” Lauren replied coolly as she turned back around to face her. She didn’t miss the hurt look on the cheerleader’s face. Good, she deserved it for being a total asshole the previous night.

Camila bowed her head slightly and gripped the side of the porcelain sink. “What are you doing here?” she asked a little too harshly for Lauren’s liking.

“Well, it is a ladies restroom and I was going to take a piss,” Lauren remarked passively, “unless you have an issue with that like you have an issue with everything I suggest.”

Her jaw clenched and she shook her head. “You don’t _know_ me. You don’t _know_ how I think.”

“Maybe so,” she replied. “I do know that you’re inconsistent. That’s enough for me not to regard you highly.”

“I’m not inconsistent! I’m just cautious,” Camila argued.

Lauren snorted in disbelief. “Cautious, why? Afraid your boyfriend will get pissy if he sees you talking to trailer trash?”

“...You live in a trailer?”

“That’s not the point!”

Camila’s nose scrunched up as she crossed her arms over her chest. “How can you have a truck if you live in a trailer? Your dad has one too!”

Lauren chuckled dryly. “Sheesh, why are you so interested in my crap? Want to find more reason to make me feel like a broke shitbag?”

“No,” Camila said quickly. “I’m just… curious.”

“Curiosity runs this town, sweetheart,” Lauren said. “It’ll kill you or give you nothing but the bittersweet satisfaction of knowing everyone’s secrets.”

Camila sighed quietly in defeat. She really did seem down. There were bags under her eyes and they were red, signifying that she had been crying earlier. Lauren didn’t care. She wasn’t one to pry into the reasons as to why people were upset, even if the person in question was Camila Cabello and her teary eyes had some sort of effect on Lauren’s stone cold heart. “I’m sorry,” she said finally.

Lauren was a little taken aback by her apology. Her lips parted slightly and she tilted her head to the side in surprise. “For?”

The cheerleader shifted her weight uncomfortably and then sighed. “For really, everything. I kept shooting you down and getting weirded out at things I shouldn’t have been weirded out by.” she explained, “I was being paranoid for no reason. And that’s not who I am, I _promise_ I’m a nice person.”

“Oh,” was all that Lauren could say.

She took a step forward towards Lauren and smiled shyly. “Honestly, I am…” Camila took a deep breath. “And, if you’d allow me to, I’d like to start over. I _do_ want to be friends with you - God, that sounds so elementary school of me - but it’s true.” Lauren chewed on her lower lip to hide the smile starting to form on her lips. “I promise I won’t be inconsistent anymore. I’ll be very straight up with you with everything.”

Lauren didn’t know what to say. She was beyond flattered by Camila; and she knew if she started saying anything else as fucking adorable, she’d have to push her up against a wall and kiss her senseless.

“So…” Camila trailed off. “Do you accept my apology?”

With a small nod, Lauren took a step closer to her. “Yeah.” A grin began to form on the younger girl’s lips. “I’m pretty sure I accepted it before you even said anything.”

“That’s not wise,” Camila mused, “making decisions so quickly can be damaging.”

“I’m reckless, Camila,” Lauren quipped. “I don’t think before I act.”

Camila chuckled softly. “Right. Can I have your number now?”

Lauren nodded eagerly and pulled her phone out of her bra, much to Camila’s surprise. She just smirked knowingly and handed it to her. The cheerleader bit her lip gently and punched her number in while Lauren watched on.

“Thanks,” Lauren said cheerfully as she took her phone back.

Camila smiled softly and tightened her high ponytail nervously. “Uh, I’m not sure what to say now, friend…”

Lauren laughed at her remark. “Honestly, me too. It ain’t every day that a friendship kind of forms this easily.”

“We can just… go with the flow?” she suggested. “I don’t know how you want to do this.”

“What do you mean?”

“I feel like you’ll be ashamed of me,” Lauren admitted meekly. “Like I’ll be your secret friend or something like that. The  _other_ woman.”

Camila giggled. “Well, I could treat you like that if you wanted. Does that mean you get to climb into my window at night to see me?”

Lauren scoffed and crossed her arms over her chest. “You make it sound like we’re in a secret romantic relationship,” she quipped. Though Camila didn’t seem to like that because her jaw dropped and her eyes widened. “Shit, I’m sorry. I know you ain’t-”

“No,” Camila said quickly and shook her head. “I’m okay with it. You’re, yeah, I should… try to accept it?”

“You don’t have to though. I want to make you feel comfortable,” Lauren insisted.

Camila’s brows furrowed. “But Lauren, I want _you_ to feel comfortable too.”

“I’m comfortable if you’re comfortable.”

“Well, I’m comfortable with it if you’re comfortable with it then.”

Lauren laughed softly. She was already enjoying being friends with Camila and it had only been a solid few minutes. “That sound oddly… gay.”

“Ooh, better not tell Pastor Hernandez, am I right?”

Lauren’s laughter increased because of Camila’s response. The cheerleader smiled bashfully. “Was that good? Am I catching on?”

“Yeah,” Lauren breathed out. “It’s kind of a relief. I was a little scared that I would totally have to watch myself around you.”

“Well, feel free to let yourself go around me,” Camila said with a grin.

Lauren grinned back at her. “Right back at cha, Camila. I know there’s a secret wild child inside that innocent cheerleader getup.” Her friend’s cheeks heated up in reply turning Lauren’s grin into a smirk.

“Well, I should get back to Mani and Ari… walk with me?”

She nodded eagerly and linked her arm with Camila’s. Her eyebrows rose in surprise and Camila bit down on her lip to hide her smile. “Sure thing,” Lauren answered. She gestured to their linked arms. “Are you okay with this?”

Camila shrugged. “Why wouldn’t I be?” Lauren could tell that she was trying to sound indifferent, but was truly failing. “We’re friends.”

Lauren nodded in reply and led them out of the bathroom. She didn’t know if it was wishful thinking that Camila was leaning into her, but she could’ve sworn she felt the girl’s warm arm press into hers. There was no one in the school except for the two sixth graders that were walking back to class, but neither of them seemed to know or care that Lauren Jauregui and Camila Cabello were holding each other’s arms.

She pushed open the door of the back entrance and held it for Camila. The cheerleader had other plans. Camila scoffed and rolled her eyes, grabbing her hand and then pulling her out into the school’s courtyard. She didn’t even bother letting go of her hand as they made their way out towards the many tables filled with judgmental students.

“Camila,” Lauren whispered, “we’re in public.”

Camila froze suddenly, realizing the truth and she dropped her hand suddenly. Lauren sent her a knowing but sad smile.

“Lauren! Come back over here, you rascal!” Dinah shouted from the table.

“I’ll see you later, okay?” Lauren mumbled in Camila’s ear.

Camila nodded, glancing in the direction of her table before turning back to Lauren. She squeezed her wrist subtly. “Yeah, or I’ll text you,” she replied quietly.

Lauren gave her a soft smile and then returned to her friends.

“Care to explain why you and Camila Cabello came out together?” Harry asked.

Lauren rolled her eyes. “That question kinda has a double meaning if you think about it,” she noted, “but we ran into each other in the bathroom.”

“And?” Dinah probed.

“Lauren Jauregui just got a new friend,” Lauren said proudly, patting herself on the back.

Harry scoffed and took one of Lauren’s potato chips. “How did you do it?”

“With my…” Lauren trailed off and took the bag away from Harry. “Trailer trash charm.”

“It’s super effective,” Dinah remarked brightly as she winked at Lauren.

Ally laughed softly. “I will never understand you guys. Y’all are just a bunch of strange nerds.”

Lauren grinned. “Strange nerds that you love, right?”

“Yes, strange nerds that I love and cherish with all my heart.”

* * *

 When Dinah asked Lauren if she wanted to hang out after school, Lauren couldn’t say no. She didn’t have to work that day and she was otherwise going to spend it at the shop with her dad and Zayn Malik, her dad’s shady-looking business partner from the city. The Hansens were always welcoming to her. They lived ten miles away from downtown Silver on a large dairy farm. The Hansens inherited the house from their Danish ancestors that helped take Texas from Mexico in the Mexican-American war. It was a rather large farmhouse, two floors with five bedrooms and then a furnished barn with a bedroom on the second floor, that was where Dinah slept. The farm was a whopping 160 acres, a good sized farm, but Mama Hansen didn’t think there was enough land for her cattle or horses. Dinah believed her mother was just greedy.

Dinah’s room matched her personality. Her walls were painted bright yellow and littered with magazine cutouts of Beyonce, Leona Lewis, and Rihanna. She had a queen sized bed that was surprisingly very comfortable to Lauren. Dinah complained that it made her back ache, but any bed was better than the cheap twin bed she slept in at home. Her best friend never cleaned her room either. Even with Lauren coming over, Dinah made no move to pick up the discarded jeans, overalls, flannels, and other articles of clothing that she had. Some of them even smelled like manure.

Lauren was leaning up against Dinah, who sat upright on her bed and was helping her with her algebra review. Lauren wasn’t exactly better at math than Dinah, but she knew the things that helped get her best friend’s memory jogging so she  _could_ do it. And then to repay the favor Dinah would do Lauren’s homework for her.

“Are you sure that it’s x + 4? I feel like dividing polynomials shouldn’t be this easy,” Dinah grumbled, showing Lauren her notebook.

She glanced down at Dinah’s work and reviewed the steps that she did. “You set it up right,” she pointed out, tracing her finger over the square structure she used for dividing the expression effectively. “Oh, Di… you mixed it up. It should be something like this.” She grabbed Dinah’s pencil from her hand and began working on the problem herself. Dinah watched her intently as she solved it out loud. Lauren would give her best friend that, she was always eager about her studies despite being lazy. “See? The x-value should be raised to the second. So it’s 2x2 + x + 4.”

“Huh,” Dinah said in amusement. “I see what I did there, silly me.”

Lauren chuckled quietly. “I wouldn’t take my word for it. I hate math just as much as the next person.”

“But you’re good at it, Laur,” Dinah pointed out as she erased her previous answer. “You can deny it all you want, but you should be in the harder math class with Ally and those guys.”

“No, _you_ should be.”

“As if they’d let a girl who skipped a grade show off more of her smarts than she already does,” Dinah scoffed as she patted Lauren’s head. “Besides, the more classes with you, the better.”

Lauren grinned and nuzzled further into her best friend. “Aw, you’re so cute,” she cooed, pressing a wet kiss to her friend’s cheek. Dinah’s eyes bugged out slightly and she smiled bashfully as she touched the spot Lauren’s lips previously were. She shifted her position so she was facing Lauren and threw her book to the side.

“You’re cuter,” Dinah said hesitantly, glancing at her through her eyelashes.

“You’re not seriously calling the trailer trash cuter than the cowgirl, are you?”

Dinah smirked. “But that is the question, what is the true desirable southern girl? Is it a cowgirl like in the hundreds of western stories? Is it the southern belle who fits ‘the damsel in distress’ and the ‘Disney princess’ trope? Is it the pageant queen that’s been forced to lie and flash a smile all her life while people judge her on her looks? Is it the religious girl, whose father is the pastor of the town, constantly scrutinized by her peers? Or is it the trailer park girl, poor all her life, but still manages to have big dreams and love her town more than she says she does?” She took a deep breath and licked her lips.

Lauren raised a brow at Dinah’s questions. They did make something quite important points. Was it possible to put everyone in a box in Silver? She’d say so, even if she didn’t believe it. “There ain’t one true southern girl. I can think of hundreds of girls that belong in each category and they could all be the stereotypical southern girl.” She rolled her eyes. “Why are you suddenly getting so philosophical on me?”

“Sometimes I think about these things,” she replied. “I think that Silver is filled with one dimension personalities and opinions so the gossip that we spread is the only way we can find something more _complex_ about each other.”

“But are there exceptions?” Lauren inquired.

“Obviously. If we were all so one-dimensional, we wouldn’t have the need to think about these things.”

“Are you saying that most people in Silver are incapable of having thoughts?”

Dinah shook her head. “No. I’m just saying all we do is concentrate on ourselves and our reputations. There’s so much more than to think about than other people’s opinions.”

Lauren shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t think that’s what one-dimensional means.”

“Okay, sheesh, Lauren, do you get what I’m saying at least?”

“Yeah, yeah, I do.”

“Then I don’t see why you should be bitchin’.”

Lauren grinned and shoved Dinah gently. “I love a good argument. So any chance I get, I _will_ bitch.”

Dinah nodded slowly. “It’s one of the many things I love about you, Lauren. You question everything and anything.” She gently moved a bit of Lauren’s stray locks out of the way of her face and flashed her a warm smile. “You’re an exception,” she admitted. “You’re not at all one-dimensional.”

Her eyebrows perked up at Dinah’s words and she didn’t hide the hesitant smile forming on her lips. “But how do you know I’m as complex as you say I am? It could all be a front and I’m just as boring as everyone else.”

“That’s where the second part comes in,” Dinah explained. “I think the only way we can judge someone truly is if we know them. Sure, what people can say shapes our perceptions, but we can’t really form a judgment unless we actually speak to them,”

“And because you know me, you’ve had time to figure out whether you think I’m complex or not, and from there you learned that I am actually genuinely more than just trailer trash,” Lauren concluded.

Dinah’s lips curved into a grin. “Exactly.”

She did have a good point. Dinah was actually quite insightful for someone who acted brash and apathetic. Lauren found that interesting that Dinah too could be considered as “complex” as she claimed that Lauren was. There were many different sides to her Tongan best friend, more than anyone at Harrison High could ever know.

“I think you’re pretty complex yourself, Dinah. I don’t think I would ever imagine such deep thinking come from a farm girl before I met you,” Lauren complimented her with a smile.

Dinah was practically glowing because of her words and she threw her arms around Lauren. “Aw, that means so much for you to say that,” she squealed as she squeezed Lauren into a tight embrace. Lauren coughed softly, finding it very hard to breathe, and hugged her back.

A knock on Dinah’s bedroom door threw the two girls apart faster than Dinah could wolf down a Lake Burger at the diner. They both knew they had to be cautious. Now that they were older, who knew if the Hansens would think differently of the two girls cuddling?

“Uh, who is it?” Dinah called shakily.

“It’s your ma,” Mama Hansen said from the other side of the door. “And why’s your door closed? You know how I feel about your door being closed-”

“I already got the old barn so I don’t need to close the door when I got more than enough privacy, I know, I know,” Dinah groaned. She sat up and ran her hands through her hair frustratedly. “And it’s just Lauren! We ain’t gonna be doing anything suspicious!”

“For all I know you could be summoning evil, Dinah Jane!” Mama Hansen cried out.

Dinah sighed. “Ma, I ain’t-”

“The girls at the beauty shop say some interesting things, I tell you! The town’s filled with sinners,” Mama Hansen continued. “Derrick Hamilton down at the gas station got in trouble with some potential buyers of his station and Alejandro Cabello is dropping all his work to help him. Now, why’s that? The Hamilton family are big nobodies-”

“Ma,” Dinah interrupted her agitatedly. “It ain’t our business.”

“Sweetheart, everything is our business! Don’t you know that by now?”

Mama Hansen was an interesting character for sure. While Dinah had her whole belief of not judging a book by its cover, all Mama Hansen did was judge others. Lauren found that they tended to fight a lot about that.

“But what’s that got to do with me being in a room alone with Dinah?” Lauren asked curiously.

Mama Hansen paused briefly and then exhaled loudly. “Lesbians. They’re everywhere according to Joan Grande. And soon they gon’ corrupt you, Dinah Jane.”

Dinah moaned loudly. “Oh, that’s so full of sh-”

“You watch your tongue! Don’t forget who pushed you and your seven siblings out my damn hole just so you can live and breathe today. Me, I did! And I didn’t raise my daughter to swear like a sailor and disrespect her own mother,” Mama Hansen shouted. “Now, open the door!”

Her best friend sighed and twisted the lock of her bedroom door. She slowly pulled it open to reveal a cheery Mama Hansen with a plate of grilled cheese sandwiches. “Thank you, girls, do y’all want some grilled cheese?”

“Seriously, ma!? After all that you-” Dinah started to shout but Lauren cut her off and grabbed the plate, sending her best friend’s mother a wide grin.

“Thank you so much, Mama Hansen,” Lauren said sweetly as she placed the warm plate on her dresser.

Mama Hansen smiled in approval and turned to Dinah. “Maybe I’m wrong. Lauren here is a sweetheart, she ain’t gonna make you a devil worshipper like Derrick Hamilton and the lesbians.”

Dinah grimaced and crossed her arms over her chest. “Yeah, yeah, now can you go now?”

“Dinah Jane, I swear to the Lord Almighty if you don’t watch your tone,” Mama Hansen seethed threateningly.

“I’ll confess my dishonor of my parents at church later, ma, bye! Amen, I love the Lord!” She slammed the door in her mother’s face and spun around to give Lauren a wide smile. Dinah picked up the plate of grilled cheese sandwiches and plopped back down on the bed. “Yeah, I know… I should treat her better, but she’s fucking batshit.”

Lauren shrugged her shoulders. “I’m sure she means well, all mothers do.” She noticed Dinah’s gaze softened at the mention of mothers and she smiled sadly at her. “Most mothers at least,” she mumbled.

“Mm,” Dinah hummed as she stuffed a wad of her sandwich in her mouth. “I ‘been meaning to as’ you,” she said with her mouth full. Lauren’s nose crinkled in disgust at her disgusting behavior. Dinah finally chewed and swallowed the sandwich. “Will you try out for cheer with me?”

Her jaw dropped in shock. Dinah Jane Hansen on the cheer squad? That was a surprise. But even more of a surprise, _Lauren Jauregui_ on the cheer squad.

“Hell no,” Lauren said quickly. “I _refuse_ to shake my ass and wave pom-poms in front of the whole school for nothing but gross teenage boys drooling over me.”

Dinah scoffed. “Oh, come on! It’s more than just that. It’ll be fun.”

“Our ideas of fun must be very different, Hansen,” she grumbled.

“It’ll be a new experience for both of us. I’ve always wanted to be a cheerleader,” Dinah said dreamily. “Maybe my ma will stop giving me a hard time about the band.”

Lauren shrugged her shoulders and furrowed her brows. “Okay. And what’s in it for me?

Dinah hesitated and chewed on her lower lip in thought. An idea popped into her head and her lips formed into a wide smile. “You get to see Camila more often! You guys can bond over cheerleading.”

“She’ll know something’s up,” Lauren argued. “She knows I won’t just join the cheer squad because I _want_ to.”

“Since when do you know how she thinks?”

“Since I became friends with her at 12:37 pm in the ladies’ restroom of Harrison High,” she said proudly. Although her remark backfired because Dinah was just smirking at her widely. “Ugh, alright… I’ll do it.”

“Really!?” Dinah exclaimed happily. She threw her arms around Lauren again and squeezed her tightly.

Lauren laughed softly because of Dinah’s obvious excitement. “Yes, really. We’re a team, Dinah. As if I’d let you face Bitchriana Grande all by yourself.”

“We gotta start practicing our routine now!” Dinah grabbed her arm and pulled her to the center of the room. “Oh, I have so many ideas…”

Leave it to Dinah Jane Hansen to convince Lauren to try out for cheerleading so easily. She could just imagine the amused smirk on Normani’s face, the surprised look on Camila’s features, and Ariana’s shocked expression. Something told her that this idea may not actually be one of Dinah’s worst.


	3. three: who the fuck are you?

The danger of teaching an AP class that encompassed English Literature and Rhetorical Composition meant lots of confused juniors and seniors. The juniors were being taught how to write a rhetorical analysis while the seniors were taught how to improve writing a literary analysis. Combining both American and English literature into the curriculum was beyond confusing for both classes.

Their teacher, Mr. King, had everyone sit in small groups of desks in alphabetical order. Thank goodness Lauren’s friends and their last names were all in order: Hansen, Hernandez, Horan, Jauregui, and Kordei.

“This blows,” Niall complained. “I don’t give two shits about _The Crucible,_ we read it last year with Mrs. Beckett!”

Lauren shrugged her shoulders. “Yeah, but we didn’t do a literary analysis of it. We didn’t even look at the themes of the story in total.”

“No continuity between classes, no passing grade for Niall,” he grumbled.

“At least we don’t have to read it again,” Ally pointed out cheerfully.

Normani nodded slowly in agreement. “The whole play’s issues are because of dumb white people. It connects to today because there are still dumb white people.” She held her hand out to Dinah and Dinah high-fived her with an “mhm”. “John Proctor is a pedophile, Abigail Williams is an attention whore, and Mary Warren is a fucking pussy.”

“Mm, preach it, girl,” Lauren said approvingly.

Ally chewed on her lower lip thoughtfully. “But it was their religion that brought them to accuse everyone of being witches. They felt threatened and scared. The Puritans were so desperate to cleanse the town of sin that they didn’t realize that they themselves were sinners for turning against themselves,” she mused. Lauren never expected something like that to come out of Ally’s. It wasn’t exactly open-minded, but it was a lot more than anything her father would say during his sermons. “My daddy thinks the Puritans had the right intention, but they didn’t execute it properly.”

“I think my ma’s actually a Salem Puritan,” Dinah said bluntly. “Cause she thinks everyone in this town worships the devil.” She looked over at Ally and sent her a knowing smirk. “Well, not _everybody_.”

A chorus of soft chuckles came from Lauren and her friends in reply.

“I like the discussion going on over here,” Mr. King said enthusiastically as he stroked his long beard. Lauren grimaced. In the couple of days that she knew him, she learned that he was obsessed with his beard and it was so disgusting. “I see you have a good understanding of _The Crucible._ ”

“I guess you could say that,” Niall replied coolly. “I think we’re more than ready for the literary analysis. So, can we be excused from class?”

Lauren and Dinah laughed softly at their bandmate while Mr. King sighed. “Absolutely not, Niall. Why don’t you five help out the juniors with the appeals of Act I?”

Niall grimaced. “Why?”

“Didn’t you ask for help from the seniors last year?”

“No,” he said as his cheeks flushed red. Lauren smirked, knowing the real reason why Niall passed the class last year. He had a little help _unconventionally_ , meaning he asked Zayn Malik to help him with his work in exchange for a special favor. Niall declined to let Lauren know what he did to repay Zayn, but the green-eyed girl had her suspicions that it was something that would make Ally pass out on the spot.

Mr. King shrugged. “You still had one of the highest scores in your grade, so I highly suggest that you go help Ariana over there.” Niall’s cheeks turned even redder as the brunette cheerleader spun around in her chair and sent the senior a flirty wave. Lauren had the sudden strong urge to vomit.

“Lauren, why don’t you help Camila?” her teacher suggested, gesturing to the cheerleader that had her nose buried in her book and looked very focused on her work.

A warm smile formed on her lips. “Uh, yeah, I can do that,” she said as indifferently as she could. Dinah glanced over at her and grinned devilishly - Lauren knew that meant that she was planning something. She stuck her tongue out at her best friend and sauntered over to Camila.

She plopped down on the desk next to Camila, yet the girl didn’t seem to notice her presence. Lauren was a little offended on a purely selfish level. Who wouldn’t be intrigued to find Lauren suddenly sliding into the seat next to her?” “Hey, friend,” she chirped. Camila lifted her gaze from the book and smiled faintly. “Need any help?”

Camila nodded, gesturing to her book. “Yeah, I don’t get this. How am I supposed to find appeals when it’s written in play format? Any of the appeals could be applied to any sentence and I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference,” she complained tiredly.

“You have to think like the author,” Lauren said. “Everything he does or says, you question _why_ he did that.” She grabbed one of Camila’s pens from her pencil case and took the book from her. “Is it for sympathy?” Lauren neatly scribbled the word “pathos” under a line said by John Proctor that she remembered made her feel emotional and conflicted. “Is it to establish his credibility?” She starred a small section that introduced a character as they entered the scene and described them with some historical background. “Or is it to point out a fallacy?” Lauren underlined a sentence that talked about Tituba being a witch because of her origins. She dropped the pencil and glanced back up at Camila, only then realizing that Camila had been staring at her rather intensely the entire time. “And, yeah…”

Camila didn’t tear her gaze from her. In fact, her stare seemed to intensify tenfold. “You’re really smart, Lauren,” she complimented. “I think this makes a lot more sense now.”

Lauren chewed on her lower lip bashfully and glanced away from Camila.

“But… what the hell is a fallacy?”

Her gaze snapped back to Camila and her brow perked up in surprise. “You’re a writer and you don’t know what a fallacy or a logical fallacy is?” She shrugged her shoulders indifferently. “Camila, seriously?” she asked again.

The cheerleader tilted her head to the side. “Am I supposed to know what it means?”

“Yes!” Lauren said loudly.

“Oh-kay, I’m just a junior, you know. I’m a year behind you and a logical fallacy sounds like a literary term,” Camila said as she pulled out her phone and began to search what a ‘logical fallacy’ was. “Yep. Definitely didn’t know what that was,” she concluded as she glanced at the definition.

Lauren leaned over her shoulder to look at her phone screen. Camila pressed the home button and moved to put her phone away. Her home screen was a picture of her and Normani at some creek watching the sunset. It was a nice picture, and a part of her felt glad that Normani was close to Camila. “You and Mani look cute in that picture,” she remarked.

Camila snorted and looked at Lauren warily. “I feel like that statement has a double meaning.”

“Yes, it does,” Lauren said sarcastically, “it means that I’m pissed and I wish I was your home screen.”

“What? A big picture of your face on my phone, wouldn’t that be creepy?” Camila asked.

Lauren shrugged. “I’d be flattered knowing that you see my face every time you switch apps.”

She rolled her eyes and scoffed. “I’m not putting a picture of your face as my homescreen, Lauren.”

“Boo, you’re lame. Dinah has me as her lockscreen,” Lauren pointed out, noticing Camila’s nose scrunch up at the mention of Dinah. “She just loves me that much. What a real one!”

“Well, I’ll just have you as my lockscreen and homescreen then!” Camila exclaimed.

Lauren smirked in response. “So, is that a yes to a picture of me on your phone?” Her friend sighed loudly, seemingly annoyed with her at the moment. But eventually, she relented and nodded, causing Lauren to break out into a grin. “Oh, golly! This is the best day of my life, Camila!”

Camila crossed her arms over her chest. “You’re such an egomaniac, I swear. All I gotta do is kiss your butt and then you’re all over me.”

“By all means, please do kiss my butt,” Lauren flirted.

“Lauren-”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. I’ll cut the crap with the suggestive comments.”

“It’s not just that. It’s just the openly flirting with girls. It’s not exactly normal to say those kinds of things to girls and people might think you’re a… lesbian. Are you a lesbian?”

“What!?” Lauren hissed.

Camila shrugged. “If you are maybe Pastor Hernandez can-”

“Camila, I’m _not_ gay,” she interrupted her. It was a lie that she rehearsed constantly; a lie that she had been telling for years. She wasn’t going to sit there and allow Camila to make such subtle homophobic remarks to her when she wasn’t even out of the closet in the first place. “I’m just a naturally flirty person. Sometimes I flirt with guys, sometimes I flirt with girls, sometimes I flirt with both. It’s okay to do that because it doesn’t mean _anything_.”

Her facial features softened a bit and Camila slumped back into her chair. “I’m sorry, Lauren, I can’t help it. It’s just so hard for me to even- I’m-”

“Hey, you’re okay. I shouldn’t have snapped,” Lauren apologized.

“But it isn’t okay,” Camila mumbled. “It’ll never be okay.”

Lauren’s forehead creased and she shrugged, deciding to let go whatever the hell Camila was going on about. If straight girls were confusing, then Camila Cabello was beyond the confusion level normal for a straight girl. She decided not to pry further and change the subject. “Got anything planned for after school?”

She effectively changed the subject because Camila was more than eager to answer her question. “Yep, cheerleader tryouts. Ariana tears the newbies a new one every single time,” she said enthusiastically. “It’s always amusing.”

“Watching the queen bee crush young girls’ dreams, isn’t that a little cynical of you?”

Camila shrugged her shoulders. “Normani has been rubbing off on me.” Lauren chuckled as her mind immediately went into the gutter at that remark. “She’s just as excited about it as I am.”

“That’s so harsh, Camila,” Lauren gasped. “You really ain’t as much of a nice girl as people think!”

Camila grinned in response. “I’m nice to you, aren’t I?”

“Debatable,” Lauren retorted.

“Liar!” Camila shoved her gently. “I know I’m nice to you because I don’t make an effort to be a bitch.”

“Yet it still happens,” she mused with a smirk.

Her friend scowled and huffed agitatedly. “Lauren, I’m serious.”

“Hi, Serious, I’m Lauren.”

Camila swatted her shoulder causing Lauren to yelp in pain. Several heads turned to look at what all the commotion was about. Lauren’s gaze met Dinah, who had her perfect brows arched in amusement, and smiled nervously at her. Eventually, everyone went back to work like nothing had happened. “It’s rude to hit a lady,” Lauren whispered to Camila.

“You’re rude,” she shot back.

“Oh, bless your heart.”

“No, bless _your_ heart.”

Lauren scoffed and rolled her eyes. She never expected Camila to be this childish, but their banter was refreshing. It was different from the banter that Dinah and her shared. Dinah and Lauren just shot insults at each other, while Camila and Lauren… flirted? Okay, it sure felt like flirting. Knowing Camila she’d deny it faster than it took to blink so she would argue that it was just playful.

Camila smirked, watching Lauren fail to respond to her rebuke. “Have I beaten the great and apathetic Lauren Jauregui in a banter?”

“I couldn’t be fucked,” Lauren replied. “Whatever. You win.”

She beamed at her. “You don’t sound too pleased. You must be a sore loser,” she accused playfully

“I _couldn’t_ be fucked,” Lauren reiterated, enunciating each word.

“I mean you could, you’re attractive,” Camila pointed out.

Lauren’s lips curved into a smirk. “So, you think I’m attractive?”

“What? I mean-” Camila stammered with flushed cheeks. “In a totally platonic sense! Yes, I think you’re attractive enough to have a boyfriend and I’m surprised you don’t.”

The bell rang, relieving Camila of her panic and Lauren of her amusement.

Lauren stood up and slung her bag over her shoulder. “Maybe there’s a reason for that, Cabello,” she hinted of her attraction with a sly smile. Camila had a dumbfounded look on her features that only spurred Lauren on. The green-eyed girl patted her friend’s head and winked. “See you around, _buddy._ ”

And then she left a definitely confused Camila Cabello to gather her things and go to class by herself.

* * *

“Do you know why I called this emergency meeting?” Harry asked as he faced his three bandmates that were seated in their usual wooden chairs.

“You’re doing a Beyonce?” Lauren questioned.

“You’re finally cutting your hair?” Niall inquired eagerly.

“You have herpes?” Dinah gasped.

Harry shot Dinah a death glare and flushed furiously. “What!? No!”

Dinah leaned over to Lauren’s ear. “He definitely has herpes,” she whispered. Lauren snorted and gently shoved her.

“Please do continue, Harry,” Lauren said.

“Right. I just realized last period that we don’t have a drummer anymore, so…” Harry trailed off and stuffed his hands in his pockets. “The band’s incomplete,” he said with a grimace.

A band without a drummer didn’t sound too terrible to Lauren. They could easily figure out how to play drums on their own, It was just keeping rhythm anyways. Of course, it wouldn’t sound cool, but a novice drummer would get the job done.

Lauren shrugged indifferently. “We’re not an incomplete band. We just don’t have a drummer.”

“But we _need_ a drummer,” Harry insisted, “it’s like the heart of each song. If you don’t have drums, your song has no substance.”

“I can easily play drums,” Dinah suggested. “I ain’t doing anything else except singing and hitting those high notes cause Lauren can’t for the life of her. No offense, babe.”

Lauren chuckled. “None taken.”

“Oh, please! Dinah has no rhythm!” Niall laughed.

Dinah narrowed her eyes at her blonde friend. “Excuse me? I can dance! Of course, I have rhythm,” she argued loudly. “Why do you think I’m trying out for the squad?”

Niall and Harry both gasped.

“Dinah Jane Hansen… a cheerleader?” Harry furrowed his brows. “That’s insane.”

“I’m trying out for the squad too,” Lauren admitted as she bowed her head. Niall and Harry both shot her an incredulous look. It didn’t take long for Niall to roar with laughter while Harry covered his mouth to stifle his own laughter. Her nose scrunched up at her two bandmates. “What the fuck is so funny?”

Harry exhaled and put his hand back down. “Lauren, sweetheart, you as a cheerleader is just as outlandish as Ally saying the word ‘fuck’.” He shook his head at her. “It’s just not gonna happen even if you really want it to.”

“Fuck y’all,” Lauren growled. “It was Dinah’s idea.”

Niall grinned devilishly at her. “And you actually listened to her? We all know Dinah has terrible ideas.”

Dinah flew out of her seat and began advancing towards him. “Boy, if you don’t shut the hell up, I’ll act on my best idea yet: smashing your head on a grand piano and using your teeth as guitar picks,” she threatened.

“That’s oddly… morbid?” Niall gulped.

Lauren snapped her fingers and waved her best friend back over. “Wifey, leave the Leprechaun alone. He just can’t appreciate your genius like I do.”

“Aww,” Dinah cooed as she spun around and pretended to swoon. “You know just what to do to charm a girl’s pants off.”

“Ah, but your pants are still on.”

“Well, obviously, but you can easily take them off-”

“Shut up!” Harry roared, glaring at both Dinah and Lauren. Lauren’s cheeks flushed as she realized that she was openly flirting with Dinah in front of her friends and that might’ve looked weird to others. “We need to focus on the task at hand.”

Lauren sighed. “You’re right, but it’s kind of hard to stay on task when we got clowns like Dinah and Niall.”

“Hey!” Dinah and Niall both shouted defensively. She just smiled innocently at her friends and winked.

“What the hell are we supposed to do about our lack of a drummer?”

“Uh, ain’t it obvious?” Dinah scoffed. “We go find a new one, legally or illegally. I happen to be a very good wrangler.” She winked with a proud smirk forming on her lips. Lauren’s lips parted slightly as she regarded her strangely. “You know, cause I have a dairy farm…”

Harry barely nodded. “We all knew what you were talking about. You’re just, well, fucking insane.”

Dinah beamed and flipped her hair dramatically. ‘Why thank you, Styles! I appreciate your-”

The door swung open suddenly. The four band members stopped what they were doing and looked up at whoever dared to enter the room. A short-haired male with vibrant blue eyes that looked like he was in senior year stood in the doorway. His shoulders were slouched and he had a timid smile on his lips.

“Hey,” he greeted quietly. “Is this the band room?”

Harry crossed his arms over his chest and nodded warily. Dinah jumped out of her seat and narrowed her eyes at the visitor.

“Look, I don’t mean to sound like a bitch, but… who the fuck are you?” she asked bluntly.

“Who the fuck are you?” the visitor retorted sassily.

Lauren inhaled sharply. “Lord Jesus, if this turns into what I think it’s turning into…”

“I asked you first,” Dinah interrupted Lauren abruptly, “but I’m no rude bitch so I’ll introduce myself and everyone else. I’m Dinah Jane.” She pointed to Lauren. “My main chick, Lauren.” She then pointed to Harry. “The token boner giver, Harry.” She smirked and pointed to Niall. “And my good friend Niall here is living proof that a man can live without a brain.”

Niall rolled his eyes and groaned. “Oh, screw you.”

“No thanks, I’m not into screwing men that swing from trees instead of growing from them,” she quipped.

Niall and Dinah exchanged deadly glares. Lauren prayed to God that they wouldn’t start fighting in front of their visitor. That would just be so tragic if not embarrassing. She sighed and rubbed her forehead. “Ignore those two clowns, can you tell us who you are?”

The visitor nodded. “My name’s Louis. I just moved here from Newark.”

“New Jersey!?” Harry gasped in disbelief. “Why would you move from a place with such diverse culture to this dump?”

Louis smiled wryly. “Well, my grandma lives here and my parents are off studying in Africa, so they needed someone to take care of me,” he explained. Oh, the classic moving to a small town because family lived there. Poor Louis was in for a rude surprise.

“Who’s your grandma?” Lauren inquired curiously.

“I think people around here call her Meemaw Tomlinson? She visits the daycare a lot,” Louis said.

Dinah grinned widely. “Meemaw Tomlinson? Oh gosh, she’s such a lovely woman. My siblings adore her.”

“That’s great and all,” Niall grumbled, “but I still don’t know why you’re here.”

“Oh. Right.” Louis scratched his chin and smiled. “The principal told me that there was a band and I was interested in trying out.”

Silence.

Lauren was pretty sure her friends were thinking the exact same thing she was right now. Why would they let someone else in? The last thing they needed was another guitarist and Lauren believed that if they were to add another member that they should be female.

Eventually, Harry spoke up, “I see. But we already have a bassist, a guitarist, a pianist, and a lead singer. What else could you offer?”

“Oh, that’s a relief,” Louis replied eagerly. “I play drums. I was hoping that spot wouldn’t be taken.”

Change of plans, maybe adding Louis to the band wasn’t a terrible idea after all.

“How long have you been playing drums?” Harry inquired.

“Uh, since I was seven, why?”

“Great. Welcome to the band!” Harry exclaimed excitedly.

Niall’s jaw dropped in shock and he glared at Harry like he just kicked a puppy. “What the hell, Harry?” he seethed. “We don’t know this guy!”

“If he plays drums, I don’t see a problem with him,” Harry reasoned as he turned to the two other female bandmates. “Dinah? Lauren?”

“As long as he doesn’t try to out-sass me again, I don’t give a shit,” Dinah said. It usually didn’t take much convincing for Dinah to go along with band decisions unless it was to take away her solos. Lauren admired how easy-going she was for the band only.

Harry glanced at Lauren expectedly. She let out a long sigh and fixed her hair by running her fingers through it. “Louis seems cool, and we could use a fresh perspective for our band. Go for it.”

Her friend grinned and bounded over to shake Louis’s hand. “Majority rules, we welcome you to Silver Lining!”

“I thought we agreed to not title our band until later!” Niall protested.

Dinah shrugged. “I thought we were called Dinah and the Bottoms.”

Once again, the room was silent.

Lauren’s cheeks flushed and she ducked her head embarrassedly. “Dinah, w-was that necessary?” she stammered.

“Why would you even say that? You don’t know that!” Harry defended Niall and himself angrily.

Dinah chuckled quietly. “Lauren, I know you’re a bottom so don’t even try to argue. You’re a soft little puppy,” she cooed as she pinched Lauren’s cheeks. “Cutie,” she teased as Lauren’s cheeks flushed more. She smirked at Niall and Harry. “As for you clowns: Niall is a pussy, and Harry just secretly wants to be dominated.”

Louis cleared his throat awkwardly. “For small towners, you guys are a little… intense.”

“Oh, we’re no normal small towners,” Lauren answered. “We’re all gay as fuck.” She ignored the wide-eyed stares and glares from her three friends. Lauren had her suspicions that Louis was _just_ like them. She wasn’t outing them in vain.

“I knew it!” Louis interjected. “I’m so glad my gaydar worked and I’m now among my people!”

“Called it,” Dinah added on with a grin. “My gaydar is amazing too, boy.”

“Alright, it’s time to get Louis fully immersed in our work,” Lauren ordered excitedly. She was already loving the fact that the new guy seemed so cool. Though she was surprised no gossip had been spread about him already. Silver loved new people a little too much. Luckily, he came to the right people and escaped being buried alive by snakes and fakes.

* * *

Cheerleading tryouts was a disaster. Lauren didn’t even have to try before she knew she was going to flop. Sure, she could dance to a degree. But it takes more than grinding hips and rolling her body to be a good cheerleader.

Lauren Jauregui had the grace of a football player.

Standing in front of twelve skinny cheerleaders and performing a half-assed routine while the girls watched on with judging glares like she was a convicted criminal with a poor defense. Lauren figured that in her analogy the jury would rule her guilty, or in this case, a total fucking failure.

“Go, Warriors, go! Hurrah!” Lauren finished with a flourish of her pom-poms. To ruin her terrible show even more, the left pom-pom had to fly out of her hand and crash down on the gym floor with a swoosh.

She was met with cold stares, awed expressions, and a big, fat smirk from Normani Kordei herself.

“Ladies, what is the number one quality of a cheerleader at Harrison High?” Ariana asked her cheerleaders.

“You’ve got to have grace and class,” a blonde sophomore girl answered eagerly in hopes to appease the ice queen.

Ariana nodded. “Exactly, Bebe. At least someone did their research before getting on the team,” she remarked sarcastically.

“Just get to the point,” Lauren spat impatiently. “Am I on the team or what?”

Ariana chuckled softly, crossing her legs. “Jauregui, be honest with me, did you actually try?” she inquired.

Lauren narrowed her eyes. “Does it matter, bimbo?”

“Yes, actually, it does. Because I refuse to have the reputation that our cheerleading squad is regarded as something that someone can _bullshit_ to be put on the team.” The head cheerleader sighed agitatedly. “As tragic as your performance was, Jauregui, I still have to bring it to a vote because cheerleading is a democracy.” Lauren had to roll her eyes at cheerleading being considered anything but a dictatorship. “So I’ll ask my two co-captains what they think before I make a decision.” Ariana gestured to Normani, who sat on her left, and Camila, who sat on her right. “Ladies?”

Normani then burst out laughing. Lauren’s nostrils flared as she watched her best friend cackle mockingly at her. Though she knew Normani, she had a bad feeling that this opinion was going to be anything but cruel. “Lauren, you continue to surprise me every single day. Just when I think can’t get any wilder…” She paused and wheezed, gripping the sides of her chair tightly. “Girl, you cannot dance to save your life. You’re not graceful at all and highkey it was embarrassing for me to watch.”

“Cool, thanks, any other shit you want to throw at me?” Lauren retorted.

Normani held her hands up defensively. “Laur, honey, I mean this in the nicest way possible. I _know_ you, I know you wouldn’t be caught dead in one of these uniforms. Why did you try out for cheerleading?”

Lauren shrugged. “I wanted to broaden my horizons.”

“Bull-shit,” Normani replied, enunciating each syllable of the word. “Something or someone put you up to this.”

“Oh, is this turning into a Lauren Jauregui interrogation session? Shall I pull up a chair as I tell y’all a sad sob story of how the last fuck I gave took a plane from Malaysia and is still missing to this day?”

A chorus of “ooh”s filled the room while Lauren smirked proudly. Normani looked unimpressed with her and crossed her arms over her chest. “You’re avoiding the topic; therefore, you’re hiding something.”

“Fine, you really wanna know, Mani?” Lauren conceded. “Dinah wants to be a cheerleader so I decided to support her by trying out too.”

“Thank you, that was all I needed,” Normani noted.

Ariana exhaled sharply and flipped her ponytail back. “As much as that was very amusing to see Lauren be a dick to our good friend Normani, I still have yet to hear from Camila.” Camila raised a brow at the mention of her name. “Mila?”

“Uh, that was…” Camila mumbled, “interesting.”

Lauren placed her hands on her hips and furrowed her brows.

“I think you’re much more suited for the band instead of dancing or cheerleading. I still think it’s good that you tried,” she explained with a shy smile. “It shows that you’re a good friend to Dinah. ‘Makes me think that you’re a bit of a secret softie.”

Her eyes widened. Lauren Jauregui soft? No fucking way. “Camila, I’m not a softie-”

“Mhm, sure,” Camila said. “I can see right through you and your lies. Being soft isn’t a bad thing.” Camila’s words made Lauren smile slightly. The cheerleader returned the smile and leaned forward slightly in her chair. “No one here is judging you for it.”

“ _I_ am judging her for it,” Ariana cut in.

“Shut yo’ bitch ass up and crawl back into your hole, hobbit,” Normani growled.

Ariana grimaced at being referred to as a “hobbit” and turned back to Lauren. “Anyways… by the power vested in me as head cheerleader, I deny you a spot on Harrison’s High cheerleading squad,” she said in a sickly sweet tone. “Thank you for your time, but please fuck off.”

Lauren grinned and bowed gracefully. “Gladly.”

“And please put some perfume on on the way out, your poor trash stench is making me break out,” Ariana remarked as a few cheerleaders snickered at her.

“I think you’d look a lot better with acne on your forehead. It’d give you more character than you have now.” Lauren saluted the cheerleaders as she sauntered towards the exit of the gymnasium. “Boom! Roasted.”

Outside the gym was an impatient Dinah Jane Hansen. As soon as Lauren opened the door, Dinah practically leaped onto her and bombarded her with questions. Lauren was too busy trying to keep herself upright to answer her questions. “Ugh, DJ, hold on,” she grumbled as she clung to Dinah’s side.

Dinah groaned and secured her arm around Lauren’s waist. “Laur, you gotta tell me these things! I have to go in there like right now!”

“I didn’t get on the squad,” Lauren answered, “no big surprise there.”

Her best friend gasped. “What!? Bullshit! You are talented as fuck. I’m gonna go in there and-”

“Dinah, don’t,” Lauren pleaded. “I don’t want to be on the squad and the last thing I need is for Ariana and Normani to humiliate me more than they just did.” As much as she hated to admit it, Ariana’s vicious words affected her greatly. She felt inadequate, dumb, and a fool. Camila probably called her a softie to mock her.

“What did they do?” Dinah seethed.

“Nothing. Just insulted me, called me ungraceful, and I fired back even though I felt like shit.”

“Oh, Lauren…” Dinah pulled her into a tight embrace. Lauren immediately melted at her touch and rested her chin on Dinah’s shoulder. Her best friend was the best comfort and gave the best hugs. The way her heart sped up whenever Dinah held her was a feeling that she loved more than the effects of nicotine after lighting one up. “Fuck Grande. She’s not going to get away with this. If I get on the squad, she’ll cower in fear.”

Lauren smiled and squeezed her gently. “You’ll get on the squad. Because if you don’t, then Ariana must’ve been dropped extra hard on her head as a kid. More so than we thought before.”

“I love you, idiot,” Dinah said sincerely as she planted a kiss on Lauren’s forehead.

“I love you more, blockhead,” Lauren replied as the door swung open. Dinah and Lauren immediately jumped apart like they just came into contact with hot water.

Camila stood in the doorway with an arched brow and a perplexed expression. “Um, sorry to interrupt, but Ariana’s ready for you, Dinah,” she said awkwardly.

Dinah nodded and smiled. “Yeah, I’ll go in now.” She turned to Lauren and clapped her shoulder. “Don’t get separation anxiety.”

“Knock ‘em dead,” Lauren said encouragingly. The Polynesian chuckled and made her way inside the gym. Camila, however, didn’t move to go in after her.

“You and Dinah,” Camila said.

Lauren raised a brow. “What about Dinah and I?”

“You seem rather… close.”

“We are,” she clarified. “There’s not a day that goes by where I wouldn’t do anything for Dinah Jane.”

Camila grimaced. “Cute,” she mumbled. Lauren had a small suspicion that Camila was jealous. Of what? A bomb-ass friendship? Probably. Lauren and Dinah were totally goals.

“Maybe someday our friendship will get on that level?” Lauren suggested.

She shrugged indifferently. “I was hoping for something more…” she breathed out, taking a step closer to her. Lauren’s breath hitched as Camila stopped when she was right in front of her. “I feel like we have the potential for something greater than that, you know,” she said shakily.

“You mean, like…?” Lauren urged her to continue.

“Camila! Get back in here! We need to get these tryouts done!”

Camila’s cheeks flushed. “I gotta go,” she rushed out before darting back into the gymnasium.

Lauren groaned and ran her hands through her hair. “For fuck’s sake, why does she always have to leave when she’s revealing important shit?” she mused. “That girl’s an informational vagblock.”

Her phone went off, alerting her that she had to work, and she took off towards the exit of the school with her mind plagued with thoughts of Camila.


	4. four: play nice in my truck

“The cat down at the convenience store greeted me when I went to pick up grape juice for communion,” Ally told Lauren as they sat in the break room. Normani wasn’t working that day so it was just Lauren and Ally that had to deal with the Wednesday night crowd (also known as no one). Lauren and Ally usually made small talk anyways. She didn’t know exactly how to act around Ally. She seemed nice, but when it came to her religious beliefs, it was impossible to regard her highly.

Lauren smiled softly at her. “Really? Tell me more.”

Ally went on to explain her feline adventures and Lauren took the opportunity to check her messages since her phone had been powered off since she left school. As soon as her phone turned on, a bunch of messages poured through. She decided to open the oldest ones first.

 **+1 (862) 819-1942:** hey lauren! this is louis harry gave me your number so this is me :))

 **hairy:** gave louis ur number also damn that boy looks fine in skinny jeans je suis tres tres gay

 **nail:** i think harry has a thing for louis already

 **nail:** sos what do i dodododododo

 **dinah pain:** GUESS WHICH HOE GOT ON THE CHEER SQUAD????? THIS HOE DID!!!!!!!! HOLLA HOLLA HOOLALAAA

 **dinah pain:** also im expecting a free milkshake at the diner for my victory ;)

 **manibear:** hey laur just wanted to ask if we’re cool i know we had a verbal beatdown during tryouts and i was kidding i love u pls respond i hate it when friends are potentially mad at me

 **camila <3: **sorry i ran off so fast i really wanted to talk to you :(

 **camila <3: **maybe we can meet later to make up for it???

 **camila <3: **o and heads up the squad’s coming to the diner for a welcoming dinner for dinah try not to kill ariana ok?

“Wow you’re popular,” Ally said as she looked at her phone over Lauren’s shoulder. Lauren gasped in surprise and quickly hid her device. Her short friend chuckled softly. “Don’t worry, I wasn’t snooping.”

Lauren shrugged her shoulders. “I’m not _that_ popular. I just… have talkative friends. Do you mind if I respond to them real quick? Then I’ll tell you about my eventful day.”

Ally shook her head. “Not at all!” she said cheerfully.

“Thanks, Ally, you’re a real one,” she complimented and then returned to her phone to respond to everyone.

**Message Thread: +1 (862) 819-1942**

**lauren:** hey louis!

 **lauren:** welcome to the band! :) almost didn’t recognize that area code. lol

**Message Thread: hairy**

**lauren:** it hasn’t even been twelve hours??? damn, you’re quick.

**Message Thread: nail**

**lauren:** confirmed: harry is a lil interested in louis.

 **lauren:** operation narry is in jeopardy, we may need to call back up from dinah jane.

“Have you met the new guy, Louis Tomlinson?” Lauren asked as she looked up from her phone at Ally. She sent her a puzzled look in response and Lauren chuckled quietly. “Oh, I’m surprised you haven’t. He’s Meemaw Tomlinson’s grandson.”

Ally’s face lit up at the mention of Meemaw Tomlinson. “Oh! She told me at church last Sunday that her grandson was coming. I didn’t know it was permanent.”

“Yeah, he’s pretty cool,” Lauren said. “Harry got him to join the band, so now we have a drummer.”

“That’s awesome!”

Lauren grinned and returned to her phone to finish replying.

**Message Thread: dinah pain**

**lauren:** THAT’S MY BITCH!!!! THAT’S MY BITCH!!!! I AM SO PROUD OF YOU, BABY!!! I’M GONNA HUG THE SHIT OUT OF YOU WHEN I NEXT SEE YOU!

 **lauren:** but no milkshake for you cause i don’t do charity.

**Message Thread: manibear**

**lauren:** mani, i could n e v e r be mad at you. you’re like one of the only people i’d throw myself off a cliff for. you’re forgiven and i’m sorry i was rude too. love you, sister from another mister. <3 <3 <3

**Message Thread: camila <3**

**lauren:** you’re good, cabello. but are you seriously proposing a midnight rendezvous? how scandalous, i’m fucking game. how about i pick you up by climbing up to your window and we go for a night drive?

 **lauren:** ew, keep your chihuahua under control and i’ll keep myself under control.

“Are you done yet?” Ally huffed impatiently.

Lauren rolled her eyes. “Yes, Virgin Allyson, I am done. You have my full undivided attention.”

“Good, cause I wanted to ask you something.”

“Ask away,” Lauren replied.

Ally took a deep breath and folded her arms across her chest. “Have you spoken to Mani lately?”

Lauren pursed her lips and tilted her head to the side. “Uh, yeah, I did today.” She watched Ally listen to her intently, which greatly confused her. “Why? Didn’t you speak to her today too? You have a bunch of classes with her.”

She shrugged her shoulders. “I mean, yeah, we have in classes. But I feel like she’s been sort of distant to me,” she confided. “Whenever I try to talk to her, she gets scared and evasive. I wonder if I’m doing something wrong.”

“Why would you be?” Lauren asked. “I don’t see a reason why Normani should be upset with you.” Actually, she did. She remembered the homophobic remark that Ally made the day before and Normani’s reaction. Lauren wasn’t an idiot though; she wouldn’t bring it up to Ally because it really wasn’t her place to point out that Ally was wrong. She happened to value Ally’s friendship more than doing what was morally right in her eyes.

“I don’t either,” she agreed. “I’m just worried…”

Lauren smiled sympathetically. “I know how you feel. If you want, I can ask her to talk to you?”

“Really!?” Ally’s face lit up. “That would be so kind of you, Lauren,” she said jovially.

“Happy to help,” Lauren replied.

“Ladies! Booths six and eight are in need of servers,” their manager barked from the kitchen.

Ally sighed tiredly. “Time to get back to work, unfortunately.” She waved and stepped back out into the diner. “See you on the flipside.”

“Right,” Lauren mumbled as she too left the break room. She pulled her pad of paper out of her pocket and sauntered over to the booths. Her face fell when she saw the multitudes of blue and white ribbons. Cheerleaders. This was going to be one hell of a night. Ally was already serving the table with Hailee Steinfeld, Perrie Edwards, Jade Thirlwall, and Bebe Rexha so Lauren decided to take the other one.

“Hi, welcome to Twin Lakes Diner! I’m Lauren and I’ll be your server tonight,” Lauren greeted so cheerfully that it made her insides twist with disgust, Her gaze moved from her pad to the booth. She did not expect to see four cheerleaders - three that she actually liked - stare right back at her. “Oh, shit.”

Ariana chuckled quietly. “Wow, the Lord just loves blessing me today.” Her lips curved into a smirk and Lauren’s jaw clenched at her stupid amused expression. “First I see Jauregui make a fool out of herself at tryouts, and now she’s catering to my needs and wants? Oh, this is _golden._ ”

“Ariana,” Dinah hissed, “don’t talk shit about my best friend in front of me. Cheerleader or not, I will not tolerate any disrespect towards my girl.”

“Lame. I thought you of all people would love to bring the drama,” Ariana fired back.

Normani groaned agitatedly and rubbed her temples. “Can we _please_ just order?”

“Yeah, that sounds like an amazing idea,” Camila agreed. “I’ll take a double cheeseburger and a diet cola.”

Lauren nodded and scribbled down her order. “Fries or ‘slaw?”

“Uh, is that even a question? Fries!” Lauren laughed quietly at Camila’s excited state and quickly jotted an ‘F’ down by her order.

“My usual,” Normani said.

“Chicken wings with extra sauce?”

“Mhm, and a banana shake.”

Camila gasped loudly. “Wait! Can I get a banana shake instead? I totally forgot that y’all have those on Wednesdays!” she exclaimed. Lauren just smiled and crossed out her drink order. “Thanks for reminding me, Mani!”

Dinah snapped her fingers to get Lauren’s attention. “I want the Dinah Jane special,” she ordered.

Lauren scoffed and shook her head. “There’s no Dinah Jane special.”

“The onion ring burger!” Dinah reminded her. “It’s the only thing special enough for Dinah Jane.”

“Ri-ght,” Lauren drawled as she wrote down her order. She inhaled sharply and turned to Ariana. “And what can I get you, your highness?”

“Give me a veggie burger, no cheese, no ketchup, gluten-free bun. Do you have any protein shakes too?”

Lauren sighed exasperatedly. “Do you want a glass of diet air with that?”

“Is that supposed to be some kind of joke?” Ariana huffed, clearly offended. Dinah snorted quietly from next to her.

“You got me,” she deadpanned, “we only have full calorie air.”

Normani and Dinah both burst out laughing while Lauren smirked proudly at the horrified expression on Ariana. Jauregui: 1, Grande: 0. She could definitely get used to schooling the HBIC.

Ariana crossed her arms over her chest and let out a “hmph”. “Whatever, just get your ugly face out of here and get us our food,” she dismissed her. Lauren didn’t even waste a second before leaving the booth. Any more minute with Ariana Grande and she would’ve ended up getting herself fired.

She tore the order off of the pad and stuck it in the slot for the chef to take. Lauren walked over to the shake machine and began preparing the two banana shakes. Honestly, making milkshakes was the worst part of her job besides the rude customers. No matter how hard Lauren tried, her milkshakes were just a little too creamy.

“So, did you talk to Mani yet?” Ally asked as she slid up next to Lauren. The green-eyed girl flinched at the sudden arrival of her friend and nearly lost control of the machine. The last thing she needed was milkshake all over her work uniform.

Lauren shook her head. “No, Ariana distracted me,” she answered with a sigh. “Plus it’ll look suspicious if I ask Mani to talk to you in front of Dinah and Camila and those guys.”

“Right,” Ally agreed dejectedly. “It’s just really stressing me out.”

“I’m sorry,” she said sympathetically.

Ally shrugged. “It’s fine,” she brushed her off. “My problems tend to be swept under the rug anyway. Who even cares about the pastor’s daughter?”

Lauren didn’t know how to respond to that. She wasn’t very good at comforting people that she didn’t know completely. “I do,” Lauren mumbled. “It may not look like it, but I care about your friendship, Ally.”

Ally smiled sadly and squeezed Lauren’s bicep. “And I thank the Lord for that.”

“Can you help me with the shakes?” Lauren asked. “I’m shit out of luck today and I got a bad feeling the machine is going to explode.”

The short waitress giggled. “Oh, Laur, someday I’ll teach you the trick, but because you’ve been nothing but kind… I’ll make an exception.”

Lauren grinned, thanked her kindly, and went to get Dinah’s cola. Dinah didn’t order it, but she knew her best friend well. If Dinah wasn’t getting a milkshake, she was getting a cola. She always forgot to order drinks and she’d always chastise Lauren or whoever was serving her for not getting her a drink. As she pressed the button to pour the soft drink into the glass, her phone buzzed.

She glanced around to make sure no one was looking before pulling out her phone out to check her messages.

 **camila <3: **u have a nice backside js

Lauren’s breath hitched as her gaze moved up and towards the booth where Camila was sitting. Normani and Dinah were engaged in an amiable conversation while Ariana was nowhere to be seen, possibly in the bathroom. Camila had her phone out and was staring right back at her.

She scowled at the cheerleader and gestured to her phone annoyedly.

Camila shrugged and began to type another response.

 **camila <3: **it’s true

Lauren raised a brow at that.

 **camila <3: **no homo tho

She heard the cup of cola began to spill out of the cup and spun around to fix it. Lauren cursed as she pulled the glass out and turned off the machine. Curse her carelessness.

Her phone buzzed again.

 **camila <3: **can u pick me up after ur shift is over?

“Here are the milkshakes,” Ally said as she handed her the tray of two banana milkshakes.

Lauren slipped her phone back into her uniform’s pocket. “Thanks, Ally.”

Ally just smiled in response and walked off to attend to other tables. Lauren placed the glass of cola on her tray and carried it over to the cheerleader’s booth. She smiled warmly at the three girls sitting there and handed them their drinks.

“Aw, Lauser!” Dinah squealed as she took her coke. “You remembered my drink! Are you gonna charge me for it?”

“Why are you asking a question you already know the answer to?” Lauren retorted.

Dinah huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. “Fine, be a bitch, Jauregui.”

“I’m still waiting for a response to my question,” Camila said with a knowing smirk. Lauren chewed on her lower lip to hide the emerging grin.

“Um, the answer’s yes,” she said breathlessly, feeling quite vulnerable due to the questioning looks from Dinah and Normani. Lauren cleared her throat. “Next time, please don’t text me at work. I almost got cola all over my shirt.”

Normani raised a brow at Camila. “You seriously couldn’t wait until after dinner to make plans with Lauren?”

Camila shrugged. “I mean, you guys weren’t really including me in your conversation anyways. I thought it was a decent time to go on my phone.”

“Camila, honey, we were talking about thick thighs,” Dinah said. “Something that you ain’t got.” She gestured to Camila’s legs. “But it’s okay, we still love and accept you for who you are.”

“Ugh, rude!” Camila exclaimed.

“I know! Jauregui forgot to get me a protein shake,” Ariana chastised Lauren as she slipped back into the seat next to Dinah.

Lauren’s jaw clenched in annoyance. “Ariana… we don’t have protein shakes.”

“How am I supposed to stay fit and healthy then!?”

“By kidnapping and sucking the youth out of innocent girls,” Normani mumbled loud enough for Lauren to hear. Lauren stifled her laughter.

Ariana rolled her eyes. “Go play in traffic, whore.”

“Bitch, you better back the fuck-” Dinah rose out of her seat to lunge at Ariana.

Lauren’s eyes widened in shock and she quickly intervened, fending Dinah’s grabbing hands away from Ariana. “Seriously, guys? Do you _want_ me to get fired?” Ariana nodded vigorously while Dinah glared at her. “I’ll be back with your food,” she muttered.

The only thing that kept her going was the prospect of seeing Camila alone after work. That was enough to keep her going through a long evening of work.

* * *

“Hey, Juliet,” Lauren greeted as Camila pushed open the window to her bedroom.

Her entrance was a little extra, but she did promise that she would climb up to the window like in those cliche love stories. Camila lived in one of the only two-story houses in the nice neighborhood, known as the Silver Mine, near downtown Silver.

Well, it wasn’t much of a neighborhood. It was just a street filled with similarly styled two-story homes. Most of all the prominent figures lived in these houses. The Grande family, The Mendes family, Mayor Steinfeld and his family, and many others that Lauren didn’t give enough fucks to list. Camila’s house wasn’t as big as Dinah’s, but it definitely was bigger than Lauren’s trailer. Literally, every single house in Silver was bigger than her trailer.

“You weren’t joking about the window,” Camila noted with a chuckle. Lauren noticed that she wasn’t in her cheer uniform anymore and her hair was down. She decided that she liked Camila a lot better in a red sweatshirt and wavy hair. “I honestly thought you weren’t gonna show.”

“Oh?” Lauren replied.

Camila nodded. “You must work at the diner for a long time. It’s late.”

Lauren pulled her phone out of her jacket’s pocket. “Seriously? It’s only 9:30.”

“I go to bed early.”

The green-eyed girl sighed. “Why am I not surprised that you’re a boring goody-two-shoes?”

“I kind of have to,” she admitted. “My daddy turns the wifi off at 10:00 so I ain’t got any other reason to stay up.”

“You could read?”

“True, but I’ve already read half of my library twice.”

“Nerd,” Lauren sang mockingly.

Camila scowled at her.

“Oh, come on!” Lauren protested. “I was just fucking with you!”

Camila shrugged her shoulders. “How was I supposed to know that? You’re not exactly obvious with everything!” Lauren huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. The girl on the other side of the window pouted and immediately made Lauren bite her lip and look down.

“You’re annoying,” she said finally, “an annoying shit that I’m considering ditching right now.”

Camila grinned and stepped away from the window. “Thanks, Lauren, I’ll meet you downstairs.”

“You’re not climbing down the window with me?” Lauren inquired confusedly.

She laughed softly. “Well, yeah, I’d rather not break my leg falling, and then break my other leg because of a certain pissed-off Italian chihuahua.”

Lauren joined in on her laughter and waved. She scaled the wall of the house and grabbed the drainage pipe. She slid down easily and landed on the ground with a soft thud. She cracked her back and stretched her arms before creeping back to her trick. At any moment an angry Sinuhe Cabello could come out of nowhere and reprimand her for being on her property. Camila’s mother was known for being a very scary lady. Normani once told her that when she pulled a book from the library’s shelf, she saw Sinuhe staring right back at her.

“If I ever make a horror movie, I’ll call it _The Witch of Silver Mine_. The ending? Mrs. Cabello goes on a fucking rampage because too many people looked at her funny,” were Normani’s exact words. Lauren was more than happy to help Normani if she ever did decide to make that film.

Camila was already at the truck when Lauren finally reached the front of her house. A wide smile formed on her lips as Lauren approached her.

“So, where are we going?” Camila asked as Lauren sauntered over to the driver’s side of the truck and unlocked it.

Lauren shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe we’ll end up in Neverland if we close our eyes and wish hard enough.”

“I don’t think that’s how the story goes,” Camila teased as she slid into the car and Lauren did the same.

She scowled at her correction. “Okay, how about I drive to you a secluded area and run you over several times before dumping your body in a ditch?”

Camila chuckled. “Please, you wouldn’t. You’re a _softie,_ ” she reminded her.

“And to _think_ I was going to let you pick the music for our adventure,” Lauren grumbled.

“Wait, really!?” Camila’s face lit up excitedly. “I love making road trip playlists!”

Lauren smirked at her enthusiasm and started the truck. “I’ve got tons of CDs in my glove compartment. Pick your poison.”

Camila beamed at her and opened it up, pulling the stacks and stacks of CDs that she had. “Woah, you have interesting taste,” she noted. “ _Born to Run_ \- a classic; _Born to Die_ \- I totally pegged you as a Lana fan; _Born This Way_ \- I’m sensing a pattern here.”

“Shut up,” she hissed. “Don’t judge my babies.”

“I’m not judging your _babies._ ” Camila giggled as she sorted through some more CDs. “I like learning things about you, Lo.”

Lauren’s brow perked up as they turned the road that led to U.S. Highway 69, affectionately referred to as “Sinner’s Road” by the locals. “Lo?” she repeated the nickname.

Camila nodded as she placed Lauren’s tattered copy of _Back to Black_ on top of the glove compartment. “Short for Lolo,” she confirmed.

She chuckled as she scanned the dark road for any signs of life. Sometimes wild animals would jump out in front of her truck and Lauren refused to get stranded in the middle of nowhere because a chicken decided to cross the road.

“Do you not like the nickname?” Camila asked hesitantly.

“Yeah! I mean, no, I like it,” Lauren rushed out. “But now that means I gotta give you a cool nickname.”

Camila smiled softly. “Good luck with that.”

“It ain’t gonna happen overnight-”

“You have Taylor Swift’s debut album!?” Camila squealed. Lauren cringed internally. She had a bad feeling that Camila would end up finding it. It was a “gift” from Dinah, also as known as she got it for Christmas and then hid it in Lauren’s truck.

Lauren sighed slowly. “Sadly, yes.”

Camila gasped and whacked Lauren’s head. The green-eyed girl whined in pain and shoved Camila back. “Camila! Play nice in my truck!”

The cheerleader stuck her tongue out at her and put _Taylor Swift_ in the CD player. Lauren rolled her eyes and turned right onto the empty U.S. Highway 69. Camila kept pressing the skip button repeatedly - she was afraid that Camila would end up breaking it. She gripped the steering wheel and grimaced, expecting some shitty country song to come on.

Lauren was not expecting to hear the violin intro of “Our Song” blast out of her speakers. And then, Camila started to sing:

_“I was riding shotgun with my hair undone in the front seat of his car,_

_He's got a one-hand feel on the steering wheel,_

_The other on my heart._

_I look around, turn the radio down, he says, "baby is something wrong?"_

_I say "nothing, I was just thinking how we don't have a song, "_

_And he says-”_

“C’mon, Lauren,” Camila urged. “Sing! I know you want to.”

Lauren groaned loudly as Camila started singing again. But Lauren didn’t join in with her singing. Instead, she watched the cheerleader get lost in the music. It was a beautiful sight watching Camila squeeze her eyes shut and sway while she sang with a wide smile. Camila’s joy almost made Taylor’s terrible singing tolerable. Almost. She was just so breathtaking, much more than she thought she was before she spoke to her.

She was straight - that was the sad truth.

Camila may have made many jokes and remarks that could have been interpreted as flirting and acted into her, but she was straight.

 _“And when I got home, before I said amen, asking God if He could play it again,”_ Camila sang as she reached over to grab one of Lauren’s hands from the steering wheel. Lauren raised a brow at her antics, but let the girl take her hand and intertwine their fingers.

“Jesus Christ, your hands are freezing,” Camila mumbled as Lauren’s icy skin hit brushed against hers.

“It matches my personality.”

“Oh, that’s just _cold_.”

Lauren glanced over at Camila. Camila had a stupid, cheesy grin on her lips that only added to the effect of her bad pun. Lauren couldn’t help but burst out laughing at Camila’s remark.

She recognized the small dirt road that lost its sign years ago and slowed her truck so she could turn onto it. Lauren drove down it in silence. Well, not so much because Camila was still belting the last chorus to “Our Song” and squeezing Lauren’s hand at the same time. That action alone caused her heart to beat louder than a drum.

The car eventually came to a stop in front of an abandoned farm. Lauren shut off the car before Camila could play another terrible Taylor Swift song.

“Where are we?” Camila asked.

“One of my favorite secluded places,” Lauren answered as she got out of the truck. She stepped out into the darkness and sighed contently. “This place is as gorgeous as ever.”

She started making her way to the treeline that guarded the abandoned farmland. It wasn’t until she started climbing over the fallen log that she realized that Camila wasn’t right behind her.

“Camz?” Lauren asked quietly, just then registering that she came up with a good nickname.

No answer.

Lauren turned around and noticed that the truck’s interior lights. She didn’t even remember leaving her keys in the ignition.

“Camila?” Lauren tried again.

That’s when she saw Camila poke her head out the window that she just opened. “Yeah?”

“What are you doing?” Lauren chuckled.

Camila’s cheeks flushed and she bit her lip. “Chilling…”

Lauren raised a brow. “In my truck?”

“Yeah…”

_God, she is so fucking adorable._

“Camz, come on, I need to show you something,” Lauren pleaded.

Camila’s eyes widened at the nickname and she noticed her cheeks flush even more. She looked like she was about to agree, but something was stopping her clearly. “No, uh, you can go on without me. I-”

“Is something wrong?” Lauren pressed for information. Her jaw clenched at the thought of making Camila uncomfortable in any way.

Camila shrugged her shoulders. “You’re gonna laugh at me.”

Now Lauren was definitely curious. She pursed her lips and shook her head. “I’m not.”

“Somehow, I don’t trust it,” she said.

“I won’t laugh,” Lauren reiterated.

She needed Camila to trust her. Lauren always took the opportunity to make fun of cheerleaders or football players. But since she gave a shit about Camila, she would never laugh at her. Even if Camila admitted she had a secret armpit fetish, she’d willingly swallow her laughter and reconsider her feelings silently.

“I’m…” Camila took a deep breath and gripped the side of the car. “I’m scared of the dark.”

Lauren raised a brow, unsure what to think. It was childish. Lauren didn’t know of anyone else that had that fear. Her friends were afraid of more reasonable things in her opinion, except that Dinah was afraid of cats. Ironic, but fucking hilarious.

“Really?” Lauren breathed out. “That’s kind of surprising…”

Camila nodded meekly. “Yeah - wait - you’re not laughing?”

“Why would I be?”

“It’s stupid?”

Lauren rolled her eyes. “No, what’s stupid is that Pastor Hernandez thinks you should punish adultery by the means of being mauled by a llama. This is just surprising.”

“Oh.” Camila smiled shyly. “That is kind of stupid. But, seriously, you don’t think my fear of the dark is stupid?”

She shook her head in response. “No way. But maybe there’s a chance you could get over it?”

Camila only shrugged her shoulders.

Lauren made her way back to the truck and opened the door to the driver’s seat. “Camz, I think there’s an easy way out. Fuck, you’re sixteen. Do you want people to think you’re a wuss for being afraid of the dark?”

“No… I don’t know,” she mumbled.

Lauren couldn’t help herself; she reached over and cupped Camila’s cheeks with her hands. “Please?” She watched Camila’s face fall slightly and she bit her lip. “Friends do that, right? They help each other?”

“Yeah, friends help each other, but-”

“Great, get out of the car,” Lauren cut her off boldly. Camila’s eyes bugged out slightly and she looked at Lauren apprehensively. “C’mon. let’s just do this one thing right now,” she begged. “I want to show you the stars.”

Camila slowly got out of the car and clutched onto Lauren’s arm for dear life. The girl was shaking like a nervous puppy. It was cute, but at the same time very annoying. “I got you,” she whispered as she closed the door behind them. Lauren held onto Camila and led her through the trees to the farm.

“Brr, getting the chills here,” she remarked shakily.

Lauren draped her arm over Camila’s shoulders and pulled her closer to her. “Better?”

“Yeah, you’re actually kind of warm,” Camila mumbled as she leaned more into Lauren.

When they came out into the open space of the farm, Camila gasped loudly. The amazing thing about living out in the country was that there were so many fucking stars. In the city, there were several stars on a good day because of the lights. But out where they were, they saw multitudes of stars.

The skies painted pictures. It continued to amaze Lauren every single time.

“God,” Camila whispered.

Lauren smiled softly at her. “I know, right?”

“I just… I love it,” Camila gushed, “I used to look up at the stars too from my window when I was a kid. You can still see a lot of them, but there’s something _so_ magical about this.” Her smile made Lauren’s stomach do a double-flip. “I feel like I’m dreaming.”

Lauren took a seat on the dirty ground and motioned for Camila to sit next to her. She smiled gently and plopped down next to the green-eyed girl. And just like before, she scooted next to Lauren so their bodies were pressed against each other.

“It was my only solace. Back when my mom and dad used to fight all the time, and Chris and Taylor used to come to my room and cry… I’d take them here. We’d sit and watch the sky. Chris loved running around rolling in the grass - the little rascal. Taylor always asked me about the constellations and...” Lauren trailed off as memories began to flood her. There wasn’t a day that went by that she didn’t miss her mom. Even in her final days with them, she never stopped smiling. Lauren wished she could have seen that those smiles were fake. The last “I love you” that her mom ever told her was the same as a “goodbye”. What kind of mother acted happy before she left her kids and never came back? How could anyone bring themselves to lie and leave their family? How could-

Camila’s hand moving to tuck some of Lauren’s hair behind her ear brought her out of her thoughts. Lauren turned to look over at her. She was staring at her intensely, sympathetically. Their faces were merely inches apart and Lauren wondered when the hell Camila got so close to her. She hated when people pitied her. Only some knew the truth about what happened with Clara Jauregui and Mike Jauregui. Everyone else assumed it was her mom that caused the problem. It was her father’s fault; but in the end, her mother caused them the most pain.

“I’m sorry,” Camila whispered. “You don’t have to tell me anything that you don’t want to.”

Lauren smiled at her gratefully. Camila _understood._ She wasn’t going to push her like Dinah or Normani, or even Ally at some times.

“I’ve never taken any girl - I mean - anyone else besides family here before.”

“Not even Dinah?”

“Not even Dinah.”

Camila’s inhaled softly. “Shit. I guess I’m special.” Lauren stopped herself from whining because of Camila’s exhale vibrating against her lips. That action alone left her shuddering and wanting more.

“You are,” Lauren agreed, “ _so_ special.”

Even in the dark, she could tell that Camila’s cheeks were burning. Lauren half-expected her to pull away and make some “I’m not gay” excuse. Lauren just smiled and continued to stare at her.

“I, uh, wanted to ask you something,” she mumbled nervously.

Lauren didn’t answer right away. In fact, she couldn’t bring herself to say anything. So many thoughts were running through her head and millions of possible scenarios plagued her mind. “Ask away,” she croaked.

“A-Are you gay?”

Camila had asked her this before. That morning in fact. Lauren was just about ready to deny it once again. _No, I’m not gay_ hung loosely on her lips until she realized something.

They were alone. No one was around. The only way her secret could get out was if Camila told people. And if Camila did, Lauren had leverage on her too. It wouldn’t have been a wise move on her part.

Lauren bit her lip and nodded. “I… I am,” she admitted. She expected Camila to start running far away or spew curses at her. But no, she was just silent. Somehow that felt so much worse than the other options. “Please don’t hate me. I had so much trouble coming to terms with it and I’m only out to like three people, and I just-”

Lauren stopped her rambling when Camila cupped her cheek. “I could never hate you, Lo,” she said.

“But I’m _gay,_ ” Lauren protested. “You said yourself that liking girls was weird and-”

“I don’t know anymore,” Camila interrupted her. “Maybe… I’m wrong.”

Lauren’s forehead creased. “Huh?”

“My dad told me at a young age that girls liking girls and boys liking boys was a sin worse than homicide. I believed him too. Whenever I saw gay couples on TV or on the internet, it made me so uncomfortable. How could anyone live with such sin openly and proudly?” Camila explained. “And then freshman year, I saw something in a girl I knew for ages. I watched her from afar and something about her made me _question_ how I felt about gay people. She was just so-” Camila swallowed nervously. “She was beautiful, brave, and outspoken. I was - I still am - captivated by her.”

Lauren had to know who the hell this girl was. To make Camila Cabello feel _this_ way was so fucking admirable. She had to know her secrets so she could seduce her.

“So, you’re gay too?” Lauren asked for clarification.

Camila shrugged her shoulders. “Possibly, maybe… I don’t know,” she muttered. “All I know is that she makes me feel _so_ _fucking good inside._ ” She exhaled softly. “But liking her is so - I can’t - I don’t know. It’s confusing.”

“Camz,” she mumbled.

“Can you take me on a date?” Camila blurted out.

Lauren’s eyes bugged out in surprise. “W-What?”

“I-” Camila swallowed hard. “I just want to know what it’s like to go on a date with a girl. You’re gay, so you’d know, right? You could help me figure out my feelings.”

“I… don’t know what to say,” Lauren replied, staring right into Camila’s eyes. “Are you sure you’d want to? What if people see us?”

Camila bit her lip and shrugged. “Take me to the drive-in in Mineola next weekend then.”

“That’s still kind of close.”

Lauren couldn’t believe she was trying to find every reason to not go on a date with Camila because God knows that she definitely wanted to. Buying her food and making out with her while some shitty movie played in the background was the fucking dream.

“Please, Lo?” Camila begged. “I promise I’ll make it worth it.”

“God, yes,” Lauren breathed out eagerly. “I’ll go on this fucking fake date with you or whatever.”

Camila giggled softly. “It’s not a fake date, it’s a real one. Because...” Lauren’s heart started beating like crazy. _Holy shit, she wants to go on a real date with me and she isn’t fucking gay._

And then she leaned in. Camila pressed her lips gently to Lauren’s cheek and Lauren felt like her skin was burning from all the heat she felt.

The only thing that made it better was that Lauren swore that she heard Camila mumble “because she’s you” against her cheek. Or maybe it was her imagination and wishful thinking; still, Lauren felt like she was floating. With the stars all around them and Camila collapsing into her arms afterward, this night could not have been more perfect.

* * *

The band was waiting in one of the locker rooms for their cue to come out and perform. Everyone in the band was in there except for Dinah who was currently performing with the cheerleaders. Since Harrison High had no drill team, the cheerleading squad was also the school’s drill teams.

Missy Elliott’s “Lose Control” was blasting through the walls and Lauren kept picturing both Dinah and Camila shake their asses. She was in fucking heaven.

“You’re smiling way too much,” Louis remarked as he plopped down on the bench next to Lauren.

“Ain’t I allowed to be happy?” Lauren fired back.

Louis shrugged. “Possibly, but you’re always complaining about something in life.” He chuckled softly. “It’s a nice change.”

“I ain’t always bitter as hell.”

A loud thump was heard from outside and several people gasped. Lauren glanced over to her bandmates and bit her lip. “What was that?”

“Camila probably fell,” Niall said as he tuned his guitar on his lap. “That girl is so clumsy that it’s a miracle she’s on the squad.”

“Shut up,” Lauren hissed. She moved towards the door and pressed her ear against it. “Still, we can’t play some rock music, but the cheer squad is out here dancing to a song about sex and grinding.”

Harry laughed softly. “Double standards? The principal must get a hard-on when he sees the girls dancing like that.”

“I get a hard-on when I see those girls dance,” Lauren mumbled. That learned a slap on her back from Harry. “Ow! I’m kidding, you dick.”

The music came to a stop and the audience roared loudly. Of course, they did; everyone loved showing school spirit and releasing their sexual frustration afterward by screaming and clapping. Lauren stepped away from the door as Dinah would come speeding in at any moment.

She moved back to where she had Dinah’s performance outfit laid out.

Dinah burst through the locker room’s door seconds later. Lauren looked up to look at her. She looked sweaty; her wavy blonde hair was falling out in several places from her ponytail and she moaned loudly. “Fuck, that was harder than running a marathon. Praised be to Jesus that it’s over.” She grinned at Lauren and moved over to her. Her eyes narrowed at the boys around them. “A little privacy, boys?” Louis, Niall, and Harry nodded and moved to another part of the locker room.

Lauren chuckled softly as she helped Dinah unzip her cheer uniform. “What was that loud noise?”

“Camila falling on her ass,” Dinah replied as her royal blue cheer uniform dropped to her ankles. “Just like always.”

Her breath hitched because _holy crap,_ Dinah was wearing fucking black lace underwear to school. That should have been illegal because the look on Pastor Hernandez’s face would be golden if he knew what was going down.

“Like what you see?” Dinah teased as she pulled on her black jeans, knowing that Lauren was definitely staring at her ass.

Lauren cleared her throat awkwardly. “You’re insufferable. Put your damn outfit on.”

Dinah giggled and slipped on the white button-up shirt. “Sorry, babe, I just couldn’t resist.”

“Sinful bitch,” Lauren mumbled as she shoved Dinah playfully.

They waited for another five minutes. The principal was giving some sort of speech about his expectations for the year and his hopes for the Warriors to take home a championship. Shawn Mendes was a shitty quarterback with a shitty ego problem; they’d get no championship from him.

 _“And now, please welcome Harrison’s High’s band’s finest members: Dinah Jane Hansen, Niall Horan, Lauren Jauregui, Harry Styles, and Louis Tomlinson!”_ The principal’s voice boomed loudly.

“Showtime, ladies and gays!” Dinah called excitedly as she finished buttoning up her shirt. She was the first one out the locker room and grinned widely at all the kids in the bleachers. All of them were clapping loudly at their arrival.

Ally was on her feet, beaming widely as Lauren and her friends took their positions. Lauren didn’t stop herself from looking in the direction of the cheerleaders. Normani was grinning widely as her arm draped loosely over Camila. Camila had a soft smile on her lips. Memories of that Wednesday night flooded her as she recalled how warm Camila felt in her arms.

She had fallen asleep on her chest and Lauren had to carry her back to the truck and then help her climb up to her bedroom window when they got home, but it was almost two so they had to be extra quiet. Everything about that night felt so surreal.

Harry lifted the strap of his bass guitar and pulled it over him. Niall did the same with his acoustic guitar.

Lauren looked around for the piano, only to find that it was gone. And then it hit her - she was supposed to play the electric guitar. How could she have forgotten? They’d practiced it that way so many times, but perhaps she was so used to playing the piano that it slipped her mind. Lauren smiled and picked up archtop electric guitar that she preferred over the classic ones.

Louis took his place at the drums and Dinah took her place at the microphone.

They needed no introduction. The whole school was watching, waiting for them to start playing.

“One, two, three, four,” Harry counted out loud. Just like they practiced, Louis began his drum intro. Lauren had to admit that kid was good. He knew just what he was doing and how to make percussion parts sound fucking amazing.

Lauren and Niall both started playing after two measures of rest. Lauren had the melody while Niall was the support. Eventually, Harry came in with his bass guitar and stepped up to the mic.

_“I’m not afraid, I’m good with God_

_I got my sins, in fact, I got a lot_

_I got a soul that’s good and flawed_

_I’m good with God, I’m good with God_

_I’m not afraid, got no regrets_

_I paid my dues, I paid my debts_

_I made a mess but it’s my bed_

_No regrets, no regrets”_

Harry shouted a “yeah” loudly as he stepped back so Niall and Dinah could come in with the chorus.

_“Goodness knows I’ve done you wrong_

_I’m not too gone to see_

_All’s I knows I’m good with God_

_I wonder how she feels about me_

_I wonder how she feels about me”_

“Here we go,” Dinah called out as the other members began playing the instrumentals. Lauren was surprisingly playing her notes correctly despite the fact that her fingers were beyond tired. Harry came up behind her and grinned. Lauren could only roll her eyes as she turned to face them. He bent his knees slightly and brought his guitar as close to Lauren’s as he could to simulate what Lauren referred to as “guitar sex”.

“Ow, ow, ow! Get it y’all!” Normani shouted.

Harry chuckled quietly as Lauren sent her friend the nastiest glare she could muster. Normani just winked at her and Lauren moved over to her microphone. It was time to blow the school away with her sick, raspy vocals.

_“You should be scared, I’m not so nice_

_Many a man has paid the price_

_You’re pretty thick, so I’ll tell you twice_

_I’m not so nice, I’m not so nice_

_I made you up and I’ll break you down_

_I’ll do it slow how does that sound?_

_You’re just a joke that’s going ‘round”_

Thank God for Dinah and her adlibs, or just Dinah Jane in general. Only she could assist her with the final lyric of the verse and wail “round” high enough for the lasting effect. A few cheers erupted from the audience after Lauren finished her verse. The loudest coming from Normani and Camila from the cheerleaders and Ally from across the aisle. Lauren’s cheeks turned pink as Niall and Dinah started singing the chorus again.

_“Goodness knows you’ve done me wrong_

_I’m not too blind to see_

_You might think you're good with God_

_We’re gonna have to wait and see_

_I guess we’ll have to wait and see”_

“One, two, three, four!” Louis shouted.

Lauren bounced up and down excitedly as they broke into the next instrumental. The rest was all a blur to Lauren because she was lost in the music. Dinah eventually brushed up against her and swayed with her as Harry did the bridge. Lauren could tell Dinah was trying to pass it off as nonchalant as possible because God forbid if two girls danced up next to each other in public.

The song ended as quickly as it began. It was short and sweet. Lauren didn’t even remember Niall and Dinah singing the last chorus because she was just enjoying herself too damn much. She loved the band; she loved her friends. They were the best damn things to have happened to her.

Harrison High burst into applause and Lauren barely had time to put her guitar down before Dinah was hugging her tightly.

“Oh my God, you fucking killed it,” Dinah said into her ear, drowning out the loud cheers of their classmates.

Lauren squeezed her back. “No, _you_ fucking killed it.” Dinah laughed softly and pulled away from her.

Several people from the audience were bounding towards them with their arms outstretched. Within seconds Normani and Ally were both squeezing the life out of her. Lauren had to laugh at how supportive her friends were. Eventually, Ally pulled away and then gave Dinah a huge hug.

Lauren watched on proudly as Normani moved away to hug Dinah too. Her heart sped up when a tiny frame that could only belong to Camila pushed up against her. Lauren beamed as she wrapped her arms around Camila briefly.

Both of them knew the hug wouldn’t last long because of Camila’s paranoia. But the smile that Camila gave her as their eyes locked? That was enough to make Lauren’s heart melt. She couldn’t wait to take her to the drive-in.


	5. five: it ain't fair what she's been giving

Taylor hadn’t come home from volleyball practice yet, and Lauren was beginning to worry. Her siblings were always quite independent. Chris was the only freshman on the varsity football team and Taylor was on the junior - not junior varsity - volleyball team. Lauren was the only sibling that couldn’t be bothered to play sports.

Lauren sighed agitatedly and flipped to the next page of her history textbook. She considered calling Ally for help because that girl seemed to know any sort of historical fact better than the entire class, but Ally was probably busy doing things for the church. Dinah wasn’t an option either because she had been spending her afternoons out on the fields with her dad instead of hanging out with Lauren. That fucking sucked.

Of course, there was Camila, but the juniors were working on a different unit.

(Or maybe she was too scared to call Camila.)

A loud knock was heard from the front door and Lauren groaned. Who the fuck could have been visiting at this hour?

“Chris!” Lauren hollered. “Can you get the door?”

“I’m just about to get in the shower!” Chris called back from the bathroom.

Lauren rolled her eyes. “Fine, be that way, asshat.” She didn’t hear his reply because his voice was drowned out by the water turning on in the bathroom. Lauren ran a hand through her tresses and stomped over to the front door.

She was not expecting to meet a girl with blue hair, hazel eyes, and a stupidly huge smirk. Lauren had _never_ seen anyone with multi-colored hair in person. It was like she was looking at an alien. Clearly, this girl was not from Silver.

“Wassup?” the stranger greeted.

Lauren gripped the side of the door frame and narrowed her eyes. “Uh, sorry, I think you have the wrong place-”

“Nonsense! This is Mike Jauregui’s dump, ain’t it?”

“Yes…” Lauren dragged her answer out.

The stranger grinned. “Then I’m definitely in the right place.”

“Okay, but-”

“I’ll just come on right in,” the stranger pushed past Lauren and stepped inside the trailer. Lauren’s jaw dropped at her gall.

She slammed the door and turned back to the very rude guest. “Jesus Christ, who even are you!?”

“I’m me,” she said. “Just like you’re you and Mike’s Mike.”

Lauren raised a brow. “Are you high or something?”

“Possibly,” the stranger answered with a shrug. “But that’s for me to know and you to figure out, right?”

She wanted to tear her hair out or slap the shit out of this outsider, even if she was kind of cute. Emphasis on the kind of - Lauren wasn’t so sure she liked blue hair.

“I’m really fucking confused right now,” Lauren admitted.

The stranger chuckled in reply. “Me too. I got lost like ten times in this trailer park cause there are green spikes in the ground, I think, and it’s so hard to tell which way to go when there are spikey things everywhere!”

“You’re definitely high,” Lauren concluded.

“Bingo! Do you want a prize? How about a horse, isn’t that what you country folk?” Lauren’s brows furrowed as she watched her high visitor plop down on the couch where Lauren was previously sitting. “Y’all like your chicken fried right…”

 _“Cold beer on a Friday night,”_ Lauren sang quietly in hopes that she wouldn’t be heard by her.

But it was too late for that.

 _“A pair of jeans that fit just right, and the radio upppp,"_ the stranger sang along with her as she swayed her hips to the music that wasn’t there. She stopped and burst out laughing. “Hey, I didn’t know you knew that song! Wow, I wasn’t aware that country music was so popular here.”

“You don’t know me in general,” Lauren muttered. She rolled her eyes. “And sweetheart, we live in Texas. If you don’t like country music, you gotta be able to tolerate it to a degree or you’re _fucked_.”

The stranger blinked. “Oh, right. I’m Ashley. I’m Zayn’s buddy from Austin.”

“Figures,” Lauren scoffed. “I’m Lauren. Mike’s my dad.”

Ashley smiled slightly. “You do kind of look like him. Way more attractive though.”

Lauren’s cheeks heated up at being referred to as attractive. “Uh, _I_ -” she stammered nervously.

She laughed softly. “Shit. I remember you country folk don’t take kindly to homosexual tendencies. Bunches of pastries. I’ll back off.”

“ _No,_ it’s not that,” Lauren rushed out. “I’m just… surprised?”

“If the blue hair didn’t make it obvious, then what else? Should I wear a rainbow flag too?” Ashley asked. “Oh, I know! I’ll shave my head and get that butchy look!”

“Christ on a bike, do you ever shut the fuck up?” Lauren hissed annoyedly.

Ashley shrugged her shoulders. “Only when I have a tit in my mouth.”

“Oh, you’re so vulgar,” she snarked.

“Or you’re just too sheltered to take a joke.”

That shut Lauren up right away. Her jaw clenched as she glared at Ashley. The blue-haired girl only grinned back at her. Lauren was beyond confused at that moment. Her head was pounding and felt like she got hit in the head by a freaking basketball in physical. “I really don’t understand what’s going on,” she breathed out. “Why are you here?”

Ashley shrugged. “Zayn owed me a favor, so he offered me a job at Jauregui & Malik’s after I got expelled last year-”

“You got expelled!?” Lauren gasped.

She grinned. “Yeah, wanna know why?”

“No, I-”

“Brought a whole bunch of weed - translation: devil’s lettuce - to school and dealt it.” She sighed contently. “Good times.” Lauren bit down harshly on her lip. If Ally were here, the poor girl would have fainted on the spot. “But yeah, I’m eighteen and out of a job, so Zayn was more than happy to help me out. I got my own trailer and everything!”

Lauren’s lips pursed. “Right, but why are you at my house then?”

“The shop’s closed!” Ashley exclaimed. “You’re his daughter, wouldn’t you know this?”

She didn’t have a good comeback for that.

“Right, sorry,” Lauren mumbled as she scratched her head.

“You look beyond lost right now.”

“The second most obvious observation.”

“And the first?”

“That you’re gayer than a dude wearing nail polish,” Lauren remarked.

Ashley burst out laughing. Her head knocked back against the wall and she winced as she rubbed the impacted spot. “Ow, fuck, you gotta stop making me laugh, cutie.”

Lauren’s cheeks flushed at being referred to as a “cutie”. She crossed her arms over her chest and took a deep breath. Maybe it was a nice change to be around someone with someone that seemed so open about their sexuality. But an open gay in Silver was a recipe for disaster. Not only were there two people that just moved into town, but both definitely weren’t straight. She could only imagine the terrible outcome.

“I… listen, you’re kind of cool and all, but you gotta watch what you say. This isn’t the city,” Lauren explained. “Openly flirting with a girl is as scandalous as fucking a dairy cow.”

Ashley nodded. “I’m beyond aware of that. I’m guessing you had firsthand experience with it?”

Lauren’s jaw clenched.

“Sweetie, it’s so obvious that you like chicks-”

“Shut up,” Lauren hissed. “I’m _not_ out-”

Ashley giggled softly. “Secrets! Who doesn’t love secrets? And you’ve just told me yours!”

Lauren sunk down on the old armchair across from Ashley. “God…” she groaned. “Can’t you just find my dad and then fuck off somewhere? You’re a pain in my ass.”

“Woah, I’m sorry.”

She bared her teeth and scoffed. “Are you really sorry? You seem to take everything as a joke. Zayn and you both, it’s like my dad’s hired clowns for the business.”

“Okay, okay.” Ashley held her hands up in defense. “I know I sound like a dick right now. Blame it on the marijuana, I suppose. But I’m trying to make friendly conversation and I’m not that great with talking to people…”

Lauren chuckled dryly. “You don’t say.”

Ashley recoiled slightly. “Uh… right. I’m just as thrilled to be in the country as you are as thrilled to have some loser like me barge into your house. I’m trying to make the most of it. You seem like an okay chick, Lauren, so can you please help me? Be my friend or something? Help me get into this redneck life.”

She stared at her silently. Ashley was one strange girl, and Lauren felt like she was in an episode of _The Twilight Zone_. Eventually, she nodded and conceded, “fine, I’ll help you.” Ashley’s face lit up excitedly. “But in return, you gotta help me.”

“An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth; I see where you’re going,” Ashley mused. “What’s up, new friend?”

“Have you ever been on a date with a girl so far in the closet that it’s kind of pathetic?”

Ashley nodded quickly. “God, yes.”

Lauren grinned. “Good. That’s great.” She grasped the arms of the armchair and gave Ashley a knowing look. “Because I’m gonna need some advice from a gay mentor.”

“Gay mentor!? I like the sound of that.”

Perhaps this strange encounter with a city girl would turn out to be beneficial. Lauren needed friends and allies, batshit crazy or not. Something about the outsider told her that she’d be a good person to have around when her love life was kind-of, sort-of just starting.

“Alright, here’s what you have to do…”

* * *

“I swear she’s fucking chill once you get to know her. But when I first met her. I was like: ‘do you need some psychiatric help?’” Lauren explained as she gripped the steering wheel of her truck.

Their date had come way too fast. Lauren only had little time to prepare for probably the best night of her life or the worst. Ashley was a great help compared to Dinah.

Lauren hated asking Dinah to help her with a date. There was no telling if the Tongan would be hiding behind a nearby bush or not if she told her about it. Lauren would deal with Dinah’s wrath later. She just had to focus on not having a disastrous date.

She picked Camila up at six, just like she said she would. It took them fifteen minutes to actually leave because Mr. Alejandro Cabello interrogated the crap out of Camila. The poor girl was struggling to keep her lie that she was going out with Normani and a few other friends. It was rather amusing to watch.

When Camila climbed into her car, Lauren couldn’t believe that she actually was going on a date with her. She looked beyond gorgeous that evening. Lauren told her to dress for comfort and possibly prepare in case it got cold. (Lauren had blankets too, but she was determined to make sure that her date was comfortable.)

Camila had curled her hair and was wearing heavy eye makeup. Lauren had never seen Camila with mascara and curled eyelashes. She had told her it was because she “hated those machines of death”. Her lips were glossed with a soft pink color that made Lauren want to lean over and kiss it off. It was tempting, but she had to remember that the number one rule of these kinds of dates was to let her be the one to initiate things. It certainly wasn’t helping that Camila’s cream sweater and jeans that accented her curves perfectly were driving her up the wall. Lauren felt rather underdressed in just a bomber jacket, green t-shirt, and ripped jeans.

The drive to Mineola wasn’t very far, just seven miles southeast of the junction that led to “Sinner’s Road”. The actual drive-in was a solid twelve miles from downtown Mineola.

“Another newbie in town? Why would anyone want to move here?” Camila asked, bringing Lauren out of her thoughts.

“I was thinking the same thing!”

Camila laughed quietly. “Sounds like you’ve had an eventful week though.”

“Very,” she agreed. “Not my kind of thing at all.”

“So, what movie are we seeing?”

Lauren shrugged her shoulders. “Well, surprisingly, this drive-in has recent movies. The only one I thought would be interesting was _It_ \- since it just came out yesterday and-”

“Oh, please tell me you’re joking,” Camila interrupted her in a panicked voice. “God, I hate horror movies, and clowns scare the crap out of me. It was already torturous to read the damn novel.”

“-And then I remembered that horror movies don’t seem like your thing, so I’ll save it for a group outing with Dinah,” Lauren continued as Camila exhaled in relief. “My next thinking was _The Emoji Movie_ -”

Camila’s nose crinkled in disgust.

“Sheesh, I’m kidding,” Lauren said. “They ain’t even showing it.”

“Okay, so what are we really seeing? _The Human Centipede_? I’m ending our date if we’re seeing that,” Camila threatened with a playful glare. Lauren had to laugh.

“ _Kingsman: The Golden Circle._ The first movie was fucking amazing, and if the sequel sucks we can always just leave,” Lauren answered proudly.

She watched for Camila’s reaction. Thankfully she was met with a warm smile. “I haven’t seen the first one, but I have no issues with it. You’ll just have to fill me in.”

Lauren grinned. “Oh, I’m so good at doing a play-by-play of movies! I know the first one by heart.”

“Maybe that’s a better idea than watching an actual movie,” Camila chuckled. “Then you get to see things from the storyteller’s interpretation and it’s possibly different from what the movie is trying to convey.”

“That’s some deep shit I don’t feel like getting into.”

Camila laughed softly and reached over to grab one of Lauren’s hands from the wheel. Her cheeks heated up as Camila brought her hand over to her and rested it on her own lap. Lauren’s gaze stayed fixated on the road, but her body was heating up so much that she felt dizzy. Camila had that kind of effect on her - it was going to get them both killed.

And then Camila started stroking the top of her hand with her thumb and Lauren had to bite her lip to stop herself from freaking out at the contact.

Lauren pulled into the drive-in ten minutes later. She scanned the area for a good place to park the car. Most of the places in the front were already taken and Lauren always found the back was better. She put the truck in reverse and glanced back as she backed into a spot behind a small Chevy car.

“Why are you backing up?” Camila inquired.

“I’m not sitting inside,” she replied. “I wanna stretch my legs out.” From the corner of her eye, she saw Camila raise a brow. She put the truck in park and turned to face her. “Meaning we’re sitting in the back of the truck. Don’t worry, I have blankets to keep us comfortable.”

“And food?” Camila licked her lips excitedly.

“Yes, we can get popcorn and whatever the fuck you want.”

She beamed happily and squeezed Lauren’s hand. “You’re doing a great job so far.”

It was hard to remember that this date wasn’t really a real date. Well, it was. But Camila had feelings for some other girl apparently. Lauren wanted to think it was her - hell, she swore that Camila said it was her - but she had to accept that Lauren was only doing this as a friendly gesture.

“I’ll set up the blankets,” Lauren suggested as she opened the door to the truck. “Can you get the snacks?”

“I don’t have any money on me.”

Lauren chuckled. “Rich girl doesn’t have money so she asks the poor trash to pay. This is beyond ironic,” she mumbled as she pulled out a crumpled up $20 bill and handed it to Camila. “Get extra butter on my ‘corn, a Sprite, and if we have money left, candy.”

Camila nodded and stepped out of the truck. “See you in a bit, babe.”

Lauren knew that had to be a slip-up, but it still caused her heart to beat so fast that she felt like her chest was aching. She climbed over the console to the backseat of the truck and grabbed the three blankets. Two were meant for the floor while the other was for Camila and her to share. She just hoped that Camila wouldn’t be too against that.

She climbed out the truck and threw the blankets onto the back’s floor. Lauren pulled the door of the cargo bed down to provide extra leg room and an easier way to climb up onto the bed. Lauren herself struggled to climb up there without assistance from the door being removed. She sighed agitatedly and began spreading the blankets out. Once she finally smoothened it out enough that it looked comfortable, Lauren kicked her boots off and crawled to the back of the cargo bed.

She leaned back against the back with her head resting on the window and relaxed. The screen was currently playing previews. Lauren didn’t usually arrive on time for the previews so it was a nice surprise to see a trailer for some musical movie.

Camila climbed up onto the cargo bed and slid into the spot next to Lauren minutes later. She smiled sheepishly and handed her her cup of Sprite then placed the large popcorn container between them.

“You didn’t get any for yourself?” Lauren inquired curiously.

Camila shook her head. “I like extra butter on mine too so I didn’t see a point of getting two separate ones.” She placed a bag of sour gummy worms and chocolates between them as well. “Plus it gave me more money to get these babies.”

“Nice,” Lauren cheered. “How much do you have left over?”

Camila reached into her pocket and pulled out three quarters and a dime.

“Shit, this place is expensive. I’ll have to work another shift to make up for it,” Lauren complained.

“Oh, God, I’m sorry, Lo-” Camila rushed out.

Lauren held her hand up to silence her. “It’ll be worth it. Right, Camz?”

Camila bit her lip and nodded. “I sure hope so.” Her gaze moved to the screen and she clapped her hands together excitedly. “Oh, it’s starting!” She nudged Lauren’s shoulder gently. “Are you excited?”

“Definitely,” Lauren replied. “And not just because of the movie,” she flirted, sending her a smirk.

Camila smirked back at her and scooted closer to her. Their shoulders were pressed up against each other giving Lauren many fuzzy feelings inside. She popped a few popcorn pieces in her mouth and turned her attention to the screen.

Twenty minutes in and Lauren already figured this movie was going to suck. It was basically a repeat of the fucking first movie. And why would the Secret Service even leave their information so susceptible to bionic arms downloading? Lauren groaned agitatedly and shifted uncomfortably.

This was going to be a _long_ two hours and twenty-one minutes.

“Is it bad that I have a feeling that this plot has been used before?” Camila whispered in her ear.

Lauren shook her head. “Yeah, it’s literally the plot of the previous movie so far. The only difference is: Eggsy is actually apart of the service.”

“I thought you had _good_ taste in movies, Lauren.”

“We can always still go see _It_ -” Lauren stopped mid-sentence when Camila glared at her in the dark. She gulped. “I’m kidding. We’ll save it for a later date.”

Camila snorted. “What makes you think I want to go on another date with you?”

“Oh, I- right, you have that girl…” Lauren trailed off dejectedly.

Camila leaned her head on Lauren’s shoulder. “I’d go on a date with you again,” she admitted quietly.

Lauren smiled softly and draped her arm around Camila.

A loud booming noise was heard and Lauren’s attention moved back to the screen. An awesome stunt move pulled off by Eggsy’s car caused her to gasp in awe. “Holy fucking shit,” she gasped. “That was beautiful.” Lauren pretended to wipe a tear from her eye as Camila giggled quietly next to her. “I found the Lord on Earth.”

“Action is the way to your heart,” Camila noted. “Good to know.”

Lauren smiled. “Yeah. Know any of your cheerleader friends that might be a little gay too?”

Camila’s nose scrunched up. “Um, n-no.”

“Rats.”

Camila chewed on her lower lip.

“Can you… describe your girl to me? Maybe I know her,” Lauren mumbled.

She cleared her throat. “Well, uh, I think you do know her. It’s hard not to know everyone at Harrison.” Lauren noticed that she was averting the subject. That was a little suspicious. “Anyways… She has dark hair, green eyes, and a ‘don’t care’ attitude… She’s C-Cuban,” she stammered nervously.

 _Oh._ She was right before about that whispered confession on the farm.

Lauren’s brows furrowed. “Are you saying…?”

“Please don’t make me say it.” Camila sounded pained, worried, ashamed of herself. Lauren felt terrible despite the fact that Camila basically admitted that she liked her back.

“Camz,” Lauren whispered. “It’s okay-”

Camila shook slightly. “Lauren, I don’t even know if you feel the same way. I don’t even know what my dad will think… I’m… I can’t be gay. I was raised to be normal. I’m so- It’s not fair-”

Lauren made the worst mistake that she could at that moment; she kissed her. She lifted Camila’s head from her shoulder and kissed her gently. It was a dumb idea. Camila could push her away at any moment.

But she didn’t.

Camila cupped her cheeks and kissed her back. Lauren’s eyes squeezed shut. Her first kiss with a girl in public was fucking amazing. There were explosions and loud sound effects behind them but all Lauren could focus on was the action in her heart and the connection shared between the two of them.

Lauren pulled away quickly. “Shit, Camz, fuck,” she cursed. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

Camila kissed her again.

Lauren almost moaned as she tasted the cheerleader’s lip gloss again. Camila sucked on her lower lip gently and she couldn’t believe that someone was that good at kissing. Lauren gasped as Camila knocked the popcorn over and climbed onto Lauren’s lap. Her hands moved to Camila’s hips as she brought the girl impossibly closer to her.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do this,” Lauren breathed against her lips.

Camila shuddered and moaned, slipping her tongue into Lauren’s mouth. She was gasping, breathing heavily. There were so many feelings overwhelming her that she couldn’t process.

A loud explosion broke their kiss. Camila hopped off her lap like Lauren was a hot stove. She exhaled shakily.

“I shouldn’t have done that,” Camila mumbled. “I don’t regret it, but… oh, Lauren…” She ran a hand through her own tresses. “I can’t give you what you want.”

Lauren’s brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“I can’t even accept that I’m… gay,” she continued. “I wouldn’t be a good girlfriend or whatever because I’ll just  _hide._ ”

“I’m in the closet too!” Lauren argued. “It’d be no different for me.”

Camila shook her head. “You don’t hate yourself. You don’t hate your sexuality.”

Lauren swallowed hard. Camila was right, and she knew it too. If they were to act on their feelings, neither of them would be able to keep a steady relationship. Both of them were in the closet and Camila had a serious case of internalized homophobia.

“Damn it,” Lauren mumbled. “I…”

“I’m so sorry, Lauren,” Camila blubbered. Lauren wrapped her arms around Camila and pulled her into a tight hug. And that’s when Camila’s waterworks came out. She cried into Lauren’s shoulder, and Lauren had to hold back her own tears. Was this God’s curse for being gay? Giving her a taste of what she wanted and then taking it from her?

She sniffled softly, “I wish things were different.”

“I don’t get why you’re giving up so easily,” Lauren muttered.

“What!?”

Lauren narrowed her eyes. “If you liked me like that, wouldn’t you try to accept yourself? Or try to fight for me?”

“Lauren, it’s not that simple.”

“I think it is.”

Camila pulled away from her abruptly. “No, it isn’t. You don’t get it,” she seethed.

“Maybe it’s because you’re a coward!”

That was a low blow, even Lauren could tell that. She saw something break in Camila’s eyes. She wanted to tell her that she was sorry. But what would be the point? She’d lost the girl. The girl probably hated her now. Lauren was a fucking idiot.

“Take me home,” Camila said quietly.

Lauren bit her lip. “Camz-”

“Please, just take me home…”

They stared at each other for minutes, hours, years, maybe even an eternity. Both girls had hurt in their eyes. The date had gone sour too quickly and it was all Lauren’s fault. She did the one thing she could to fuck everything up - push things she wasn’t ready for. “Okay,” Lauren relented. She slid off the cargo bed.

Camila stayed still and stared at her. Lauren felt absolutely naked under her solemn gaze. “I’m sorry,” she breathed out quietly.

“Me too,” Camila replied in a broken voice.

* * *

Lauren was always quite an emotional person. A majority of the time she kept her feelings hidden and suppressed until she could burst into tears and let it all out when she was alone. But Lauren didn’t need to be alone, she needed the one person that knew her better than she knew herself.

Driving to Dinah’s farm late at night was always a challenge. But now it was more challenging because of her highly emotional state. Her teeth dug into her lip so hard that she probably was drawing blood. She drove past Dinah’s farm home and continued down the dirt road.

Texas was a pretty flat state, but there were some exceptions. The only hill within a ten-mile radius was located well into the Hansens’ property. Lauren couldn’t tell how tall it was, but it was definitely tall enough to see the church’s steeple on a clear day.

Lauren pulled her truck to a stop at the foot of the hill and jumped out. She wiped her eyes furiously and marched up the steep hill. The exhausting climb up the hill was taking the wind out of Lauren’s poor lungs.

She collapsed onto the ground and groaned. “Fuck…” she cursed under her breath.

Lauren heard someone gasp loudly and a gun click. _Wait, what the hell?_

“Goddamnit! I swear these possums and ‘coons are gonna be the death of me. I’m gonna give them a taste of their own medicine. Hey, pricks! Wanna deepthroat this gun?”

Lauren winced as she looked up only to be met with a phone’s flashlight and the muzzle of a hunting rifle poking her forehead. “Holy shitting-”

A scream escaped her lips. “Dinah!? What-”

“Oh, Lauren!” Dinah sighed in relief as she threw her gun to the side. She failed to remove the bright light from Lauren’s face. “Way to sneak up on me, huh?”

Lauren held her hand up to shield her eyes. “I have so many questions…” she grumbled. “First off, why the hell do you have a hunting rifle?”

Dinah chuckled as she picked the gun back up and aimed it at Lauren. “Freeze!”

“I haven’t moved a muscle since you decided to play Sheriff,” Lauren retorted.

“Put your hands over your head, Lauser,” Dinah insisted as she shoved the gun to Lauren’s forehead.

She had no idea if this gun was loaded or not; she assumed that Dinah wasn’t an idiot. Okay, that was a little too preposterous to assume, but Dinah had better self-control than to accidentally shoot her best friend. “I’m going to smack you on the head if you don’t stop pointing that thing at me.”

“Are you resisting arrest?” Dinah teased.

Lauren narrowed her eyes. “Dinah, is that thing loaded?”

“Oh, that’s a good question,” she hummed, pulling the gun back and then aiming it at her chin.

“DINAH JANE!” Lauren screamed at full volume. It was so loud that she could hear her voice echo over the farm.

Dinah tilted her head to the side, poking the gun further into her chin. “What?”

She pointed a shaky finger at Dinah. “Put it down or so help me, God-”

Her best friend threw the rifle to the side. “Yes, ma’am. Nothing to see here. Move along.” She whistled innocently like she hadn’t just pointed a gun at her own best friend.

Lauren rolled her eyes and let out a sigh of relief. “Right. Next question: why are you out here?”

“Can’t I ask you the same thing?”

“I needed to see you.”

Dinah’s lips parted slightly and she finally lowered that goddamn phone from her face. She reached down to help Lauren back up onto her feet. “I’m, uh…” Dinah stuttered. “Yeah, ah… I’m glad. I missed you.”

Lauren leaned into Dinah and smiled softly. “I missed you too. I just had the best night ever turn into the worst,” she grumbled.

Dinah plopped down onto the grassy hill. Lauren took a seat next to her and scooted over so Dinah could wrap a comforting arm ever. “I went on a date with Camila,” she admitted. She felt Dinah tense slightly. “And… I fucked it up.”

“I guess you had a good reason for not telling me about it,” Dinah mumbled.

“I needed to do this on my own. Dinah, I love you and all, but you would’ve made such a big deal about it,” Lauren told her apologetically. “I didn’t want to stress you out when you should be worrying about cheerleading or the farm…”

Dinah shook her head. “You always come first. I’d drop anything and go take care of you if I had to.” Lauren’s heartbeat quickened at her strong remark. “But I draw the line at sticking tampon up your-”

“Oh, God, Dinah,” Lauren hissed. “Stop.”

“Yeah, okay, you pussy.”

Lauren sighed sadly as she leaned her head on Dinah’s shoulder. “I really messed up, DJ. Camila isn’t ready to come out, and she’s got a shit ton of internalized homophobia.”

“And that means that you’ll be her dirty little secret, and she’ll deny and deny until it gets to the point where you can’t take it anymore,” Dinah concluded.

Lauren nodded. “Yeah. I called her a coward.”

“It’s not her fault-”

“I know,” she said coldly. “She doesn’t want to feel this way, but it’s Alejandro Cabello’s fault.”

Dinah smiled sadly. “Does she at least admit to liking you back?”

“I thought it was implied when I said it didn’t go well,” Lauren jabbed. Her best friend shifted uncomfortably. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that; it was implied.” She recalled Camila’s stammering and her evasive tone when she admitted her feelings. “She said she didn’t know if she felt the same way. I think she was talking about her sexuality though… I don’t fucking know. She’s so infuriating!”

Her best friend huffed. “I should be surprised, but I’m not. I always got an ambiguously bi or gay vibe from her. This just confirms it.” Her eyes lit up with triumph. “Harry owes me ten bucks now.”

Lauren gasped. “You made a bet with Harry!?”

She shrugged. “Yeah, so?”

“That’s so… like you.” Lauren giggled and Dinah joined in with her.

The laughter died down and Dinah cleared her throat. “Still, fuck her,” Dinah spat. “She ain’t ready to own up to her feelings then she ain’t worth your time.” She ran a hand through her thick tresses.

That was solid advice coming from Dinah. Lauren smiled at her warmly. “You’re right. It still kinda blows, but I’m sure I could find some other curious girl to seduce.”

“Or maybe you could just open your eyes a little further…” Dinah mumbled. “It ain’t fair what she’s been giving. You could do so much better than her. You need someone who knows how to take care of you and  _will_ take care of you. Someone who-”

Lauren’s face lit up with excitement as an idea popped into her head. “You’re right! I should try for someone out of town. Austin’s surprisingly a little more liberal than the other cities. I could go to a club and meet some chick there.”

“That’s not what I meant.” Dinah let out a seemingly forced laugh. “But it’s definitely something you could do.”

“You could come with me?” Lauren suggested.

Dinah raised a brow. “And watch you get hammered while grinding on some chick? Hard pass.”

“Maybe I’ll grind on _you_ ,” she flirted.

“Ooh, saucy.” Lauren giggled.

Dinah smirked. “Please, you’d love it if I grinded on you. I’m the hottest piece of ass in your life.”

“If I agreed, you’d never let me forget it, but it’s true.”

Her best friend laughed loudly and squeezed her tightly. “‘Atta girl,” she mumbled softly in Lauren’s ear.

The two girls sat in silence. Dinah was usually someone who loved to keep conversations going for hours, but Lauren didn’t feel like talking now. She was beyond glad that Dinah and she could sit in silence and just _be present._

With the stars above them and the moon shining bright, Lauren felt at complete bliss. All the guilt, anger, and sadness that Camila made her feel earlier was minimized by Dinah’s warmth and comfort.

She shifted uncomfortably and tilted her head so she was looking right up at Dinah. “DJ, do you remember that time when we were nine and your daddy thought we were rabid dogs?”

“How could I forget?” Dinah snickered. “He pointed his rifle at me, and I was pretty damn sure that was the first time I heard him say the c-word.”

Lauren raised a brow. “‘C-word’? Are you getting all reserved on me now? The Dinah Jane I know would never pass up the opportunity to curse.”

“I’ve sinned enough this week. A girl’s gotta have limits.” She smirked down at Lauren. “Imagine Ally’s face if I told her I said that…”

“You’d kill the poor girl. She ain’t even aware of half the shit you do,” Lauren playfully retorted.

Silence fell on them again. Dinah was playing with her hair gently and Lauren found herself getting sleepy. The day was tiring. Her emotions drained the life out of her. Dinah was so soft, so warm. She felt so safe with her.

“You can sleep if you want to, Laur,” the blonde whispered.

Lauren barely hummed in reply. “Okay.”

Dinah pressed her lips to the top of her head and mumbled an “I love you” quietly. Lauren’s heart leaped at her best friend’s words. There was something so special about the platonic bond that Lauren and Dinah shared. She wouldn’t trade it for anything else in the world.

As her eyes fluttered shut and her breathing slowed down, she could have sworn she heard Dinah sniffle. “Oh, God, help me,” she breathed out, voice slightly cracking at the end.

Lauren simply couldn’t react to her best friend. Whatever she was talking about she would have to wait to find out. She exhaled and drifted off to sleep.


	6. six: did somebody say daddy lover?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> racism & homophobia trigger warning for the first part of this chapter!

 “Pastor Hernandez says the stained glass windows here are real. Are they?” Dinah asked Lauren as they sat in the back lounge of the church. Sunday services were always longer than Lauren thought they should be. And as much as her father hated it, she always snuck off during the pastor’s sermon. Dinah did too, even if her family was far more religious than Lauren’s. Her best friend couldn’t give two craps about whatever the hell the pastor was raving about.

There were also several other reasons why Lauren didn’t want to be in the sanctuary. Camila was there, first of all. She donned a pure white dress and her hair was pulled into a tight bun. It made Lauren sick inside to even look at that girl knowing that this girl took her heart and shattered it. And then when Camila tried to catch her gaze more than once, Lauren couldn’t take it anymore.

Second of all, Shawn Mendes was drooling over Camila like she was a piece of meat. He’d hold her and touch her in ways that Lauren was sure was not appropriate for a Sunday, but Camila let him while giving him flirty smiles. If Camila was trying to make Lauren jealous, it was working. But Lauren knew damn well not to show any reactions, two could play that game.

Third of all, Dinah had been by her side for the past twelve hours. Lauren stayed over at the Hansens. Mama Hansen surprisingly had no qualms with Lauren sleeping in Dinah’s farm. Or she was just beyond tired and couldn’t care less what her oldest daughter was doing, she assumed that was the case.

“If these are real stained glass windows, this church wouldn’t look like a dump,” Lauren replied, gesturing to the peeling of the wallpaper. “Do you see this? Pastor Hernandez would have a fit.”

“We ain’t got the budget to fix everything in the church, according to Ally. All the money goes to the sanctuary keep up and Pastor Hernandez’s health insurance and sabbaticals.”

Lauren rolled her eyes. “Yet the poor office lady ain’t got any health insurance? This place is fucked up.”

“All we can hope for is for Pastor Hernandez to retire.”

“And who will take over? Ally?”

“Oh, Lord, imagine her taking over and preaching about Jesus…”

Lauren shrugged. “Honestly, I’d actually consider staying in service-”

A loud gasp echoed from the walls. Lauren stopped talking and bit her lip, glancing back over at Dinah. She too had the same shocked expression and looked on the verge of bursting out into laughter.

“Was that you?” Lauren whispered.

Dinah shook her head quickly. Lauren giggled softly and shifted in her seat. Perhaps it wasn’t anything to worry about.

“How’s cheer practice?” Lauren quickly changed the subject.

Dinah snorted at the mention of cheerleading. “Oh, where do I begin?” She licked her lips and drummed her fingers on her thighs. “Ariana’s so uptight and bossy that she needs to get laid fast.” Lauren smirked at the thought of Ariana acting way too uptight for even Dinah to handle. “No one else seems to really want to talk to me, and I get it. Well, except for Normani. She’s been nothing but kind, bless her heart.”

Lauren noticed that she failed to mention Camila. Not that she was concerned or anything, just quite curious. “What about Camila?”

“Hot and cold, I suppose,” Dinah informed her. “She ain’t got any bone to pick with me and I used to not have a bone to pick with her.”

“If you’re thinking about beating her up ‘cause of what happened, then-”

_“Oh…”_

Lauren was interrupted once more by someone’s loud moaning. Dinah and Lauren stared right at each other in complete shock.

“Do you think that’s someone-” Dinah stuttered and then stopped, covering her mouth. “No… not in church.”

“We’re overreacting,” Lauren mumbled in agreement. “Maybe someone’s just pushing out a big shit.”

Dinah chuckled. “Aren’t we two dirty-minded bitches?”

“It’s your fault, Dinah Jane,” she chastised her best friend. “You were the one that pointed out every dirty joke in Disney movies when we were thirteen.” Dinah gasped in mock-offense, placing a hand over heart. Lauren grinned. “And I don’t think I need to guess where you got your dirty mind.”

“If you say it was my mama, then you’re a real idiot.”

Lauren shook her head. “No, no, I’m talking about the fact that you used to watch those-”

“Lauren! No!” Dinah hissed in embarrassment.

“Those-”

Dinah sprung out of her chair and jumped on top of Lauren, shoving her hand over her mouth. “Don’t you fucking dare,” Dinah warned as she glared at her.

Lauren couldn’t get a coherent answer out, but she did her best to sputter out _“_ adult movies”. Dinah only pushed her hand further against Lauren’s mouth, effectively suffocating her. She had enough of her best friend’s antics and licked Dinah’s palm.

Her best friend screeched and pulled her hand back in disgust. “Jesus Christ! Did you just _lick_ me?”

“Don’t say the Lord’s name in vain,” Lauren reprimanded her playfully.

Dinah rolled her eyes and wiped her hand on Lauren’s cheek. “Asshole. You’re lucky I like you.”

Lauren wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. “Ooh, Dinah Jane _likes_ me?”

The blonde’s brows furrowed and she scoffed. “Please, if I didn’t-”

_“Oh!”_

_“Keep it down…”_

Lauren couldn’t hold her laughter in any longer. She cracked up laughing and shoved her face into Dinah’s hair to muffle her voice. Dinah joined in with her and buried her head in Lauren’s neck.

“Dinah, we should go bust them,” Lauren suggested mischievously.

She pulled her head up from Lauren’s neck and raised a brow. “Really? I didn’t take for someone who was into watching.”

“Oh, shut up and come with me.” Lauren pushed Dinah off of her and grabbed her hand, pulling her towards the bathroom. The two girls giggled quietly as they walked down the hallway to the one family bathroom of the church. The noises intensified as the girls came near the bathroom, and Lauren let out a loud chuckle.

Dinah shushed her quickly and grasped the door handle.

“Should we knock?” Lauren asked Dinah.

The blonde shook her head. “No.” She pushed it down, surprised to find it unlocked, and barged in.

Lauren’s jaw dropped in shock. Never in her seventeen years of her life would she expect Normani Kordei to be fingering Ally Brooke Hernandez in the bathroom of the church. The sweet, innocent church girl sat up on the counter with her legs wrapped around the cheerleader while she bit roughly on her shoulder; that was some unreal shit.

Dinah gasped loudly. “Holy Virgin Mary’s tits, what the fuck is going on here?”

Normani swore loudly and pulled away from Ally quickly. Ally let out a squeak of surprise and quickly reached to pull her pink panties up and push her dress back down.

“Oh… my… God…” Lauren breathed out in surprise. Ally’s flushed cheeks and Normani’s horror-stricken expression was something she would never forget for a long ass time. “Normani, were you _fucking Ally_?”

Normani’s jaw clenched as she squeezed her fists. “I-” she started to say.

“We… we weren’t…” Ally stuttered.

“I was helping her with her choir solo,” Normani lied obviously.

“Oh, yes, because you can certainly hit those high notes when you’re just at the brink of an orgasm,” Dinah teased.

Lauren hit Dinah’s arm harshly. “Not the time, DJ.” She turned back to the two girls. Ally looked like a deer in headlights, and Normani looked like she was trying her best to wake up from a really bad dream. “Guys? What-”

Ally burst into tears suddenly. The poor girl started sobbing uncontrollably and shaking so violently. “I’m not! I wasn’t! You didn’t see anything… it wasn’t what it looked like!” Ally screamed. The girl pulled at her dirty blonde tresses and wailed loudly. “I’m not- I’m not-” Normani’s face fell slightly and she moved to wrap her arms around Ally’s waist. Ally shoved her away in response. “No! Don’t touch me!”

Normani took a hesitant step back, but Ally wasn’t finished with her yet. “S-She forced herself onto me, the witch,” Ally claimed in a shaky voice. Normani’s eyes were as wide as saucers at that point. “I couldn’t do anything to stop her. T-Thank God, you came in time,” she cried.

Lauren’s eyes narrowed. Something wasn’t right about this.

“I-I didn’t force myself on you,” Normani defended herself. “That’s not what happened-”

“Don’t you lie to our friends!” Ally screeched. “You’re already going to hell, you stupid dyke!”

“Woah, woah, Ally, let’s just calm down-” Dinah began warily.

Ally glared at Dinah. “I’m not a homo! She forced herself on me, I swear, and she’s too scared to admit it.” Normani bowed her head. Tears began to form in the cheerleader’s eyes. Lauren would’ve done the same thing if she were her. “That’s the truth. If you think I would even  _think_ about doing something so sinful with that _crow_. You’re dead wrong.”

Normani was full-on crying now. She collapsed against the wall of the bathroom. Dinah came to Normani’s side and wrapped her arms around her fellow cheerleader. “Ally, please stop…” she sobbed.

“Stop acting so innocent, you ape!”

Lauren had to intervene now. “Ally, what the fuck? Normani’s your friend-”

“I’m not friends with any dykes,” Ally shot back, glaring at Normani.

“Why are you referring to her as these _horrible_ things… God, can you even hear yourself?” Lauren ran a hand through her hair frustratedly. “I think you need to take a deep breath. I know you’re really shaken up, but let’s talk about this-”

Ally shook her head. “No, you need to shut up and stop defending her! Don’t you understand she forced herself on me? Are you blaming the victim?” she seethed.

“You consented to it!” Normani screamed. “I don’t know what kind of shit you’re trying to pull by playing some sort of victim, but it ain’t working! You just think you’re so _entitled_ because you’re the pastor’s daughter. If you were so against homosexuals, why ain’t you practicing what you preach?” She laughed dryly. “You were  _begging_ me to fuck you,” she spat.

“Shut up! Shut up!” Ally yelled.

“Watch out for the bitch in sheep’s clothing. Her name is Ally Brooke, and she’s just as much of a dyke as she claims _I_ am.”

Ally sobbed loudly once more and then ran for the bathroom door. Her face tear-stained and bright red. The poor girl was in no shape to go back into service. But deep down Lauren knew that wasn’t actually Ally talking. That was Pastor Hernandez’s teachings coming out of his own daughter. She wanted to feel bad for her, but the way that Normani was sobbing her eyes out in Dinah’s arms made her push that sympathy aside for a few seconds.

“G-God, we’ve never been caught  _ever._ We’ve been s-so good about it…” Normani whimpered.

Lauren bit her lip and moved to the other side of Normani. “How long has this been going on?”

Normani swallowed nervously. “M-Months. Since June, it kind of just… happened. God...”

“Oh, Mani…” Dinah sighed.

“P-Please don’t hate me for it. I don’t think I-I could take losing you guys too.”

“Why would we lose you, Mani?”

Normani sniffled. “Because I’m _me_ … I’m the big, scary dyke that Ally says I am.”

Lauren quickly threw her arms around Normani and squeezed her tightly. In response, Normani sobbed into her shoulder. She held her devastated friend close to her and sighed. “Mani, babe, I would _never…_ ” She looked over at Dinah pointedly. “ _We_ would never, ever, do that to you.”

Dinah nodded in agreement. “It’d be pretty hypocritical of us too…”

Normani stopped shaking suddenly. Lauren heard her gasp softly. “Wait, you two-”

“Two big ol’ lesbos,” Lauren affirmed with a chuckle.

“A-Are you guys dating?”

Dinah and Lauren both exchanged shaky glances.

“God, no!” Lauren denied quickly.

“She wishes she could tap my glorious ass,” Dinah added on with a smirk.

Normani chuckled nervously. “Oh. I just assumed-”

Lauren shook her head. “Yeah, no, I love Dinah, but not like that.” She didn’t miss the way Dinah’s face fell slightly, but she chose not to think much of it. “The girl I was going after has a big case of internalized homophobia too. She took it a lot better than our student council president.”

“I know Ally didn’t mean what she said, and I didn’t either,” Normani informed them. “I guess we were both just caught in the heat of the moment. Ally sometimes has really bad outbursts like that. It hurts, but she comes around quickly…”

Lauren pursed her lips in thought. “Mani, that’s still not okay. Has she ever referred to you as-”

“This was the worst one of all of them. She’s never directly called me any derogatory slurs.” Normani sighed sadly. “I know it looks bad, but you _know_ her. That wasn’t her talking. She’s scared, as I imagine she should be.”

Dinah squeezed Normani again. “God, that just sounds awful. You know, Lauren and I know what it’s like to be a closeted lesbian in Silver. If you ever need any help or advice, we’re your girls.”

Normani finally smiled. It wasn’t a bright, happy one, but it was enough to convince Lauren that she’d be alright. “You guys are the best-”

The bathroom door swung open to reveal Ariana Grande with a disgusted look on her features. “Ugh! I thought this was the bathroom, not Dykechella.”

“Fuck off, garden gnome,” Dinah fired back.

Ariana huffed loudly. “Come on, Camila. Let’s go.” Lauren didn’t even realize that her crush was there. Her head shot up and she found herself staring right into brown eyes. Ariana marched off, leaving Camila by the door.

“Is Mani okay?” Camila asked tentatively.

Dinah shook her head. “No, but she will be.”

Camila nodded slowly and looked over at Lauren. “Lauren, I-”

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?” Lauren dismissed her, having a strong suspicion that she was going to address last night’s events. If that girl already changed her damn mind, Lauren wouldn’t accept it yet. The whole consistency thing was not something she figured was Camila’s strong points.

The cheerleader bowed her head. “Right… but-” Lauren gave her a pleading look, and Camila relented. “Okay, uh… bye.”

Lauren only nodded her goodbye and turned back to Normani, who was no longer sobbing and stroked her hair.

“I fucking hate this backward town,” Normani spat.

“We do too,” Dinah mumbled. “We sure do too.

* * *

“How are the tater tots here? I’m thinking of trying those,” Louis mused excitedly as he nudged Harry’s shoulder.

“Never had them,” Harry admitted. He turned to Niall. “What about you, Blondie, have you had the tots?”

Niall shrugged. “Yeah. They’re okay. But it’s a cheap potato dish, and I like my potatoes high quality,” he replied as he brought his cola to his lips.

Louis nodded and glanced over at Lauren. “Lauren? Dinah?”

Lauren smiled and shook her head. “If I were you, I wouldn’t get them. People are so careless around the fryers here. The chef dropped his retainer in there, like, last week,” she admitted. Harry made a gagging noise and Lauren giggled. “Yep. That was my reaction when I saw it too.”

“Get the tots,” Dinah answered eagerly. “If you don’t like them, I’ll eat them.”

“Dinah, you’re getting your special burger, cheese curds, wings, and fries - I think you have enough food,” Lauren reprimanded her.

Dinah pouted at her and leaned into her slightly. “Laurennn,” she sang out. “Please?” She stuck her face close to Lauren’s as Lauren turned her head to look at Dinah. She rolled her eyes at the girl next to her and nodded. Dinah cheered childishly and flicked her nose.

“We need to discuss the next move for the band. We just killed it at the pep rally, but now what? It’s our senior year,” Harry reminded them.

Louis nodded fervently. “Yeah. We gotta worry about colleges and crap-”

“Woah, wait.” Niall leaned forward in his seat. “You’re planning on going to college?” Louis furrowed his brows in confusion as he nodded once more. “Dude! You can’t do that,” he hissed. “All of us ain’t planning on going to college after this.”

“No, I’m taking classes at a community college,” Lauren cut in. She wanted to make sure it was known that she wasn’t completely giving up on her education.

Niall shrugged. “True, but you’re still devoting most of your future to the band.”

“You guys actually want to do this band thing for real?” Louis inquired in awe. His lips curved into a soft smile as he glanced at each of the band members. “That’s really admirable…”

Dinah chuckled. “Mhm. Our band is all or nothing. You join, you either a member or life or you ain’t.”

“But your previous drummer left…?”

“Yeah, well, he wasn’t worth our time,” Harry said dismissively. “You got moves, outsider. We’d love to have you with us after high school.”

Louis pursed his lips in thought. “Ah, maybe…” he mumbled quietly as he scratched his head. “It’s too soon for me to decide now, right?”

Dinah grunted. “Jersey Boy’s right. We can’t just throw this on him and expect him to agree right away. We barely know him.”

His nose scrunched at Dinah’s nickname. “Jersey Boy?”

The blonde grinned. “Oh, I give everyone nicknames. Lauser and Ralph are Lauren’s; Curls is Harry’s; Leprechaun is Niall’s. Cool, right?”

“More like crazy lame.”

Dinah threw a wadded up napkin at Niall’s head for his remark. Lauren heard the bell ring, signifying someone had come into the diner. Tuesday was another slow day, but Lauren had it off. Usually, the only customers on Tuesdays were currently sat at the booth at the back of the diner. Lauren whipped her head around to see who it was.

Ally stood by the hostess table.

“Shit, does she work today?” Dinah whispered in Lauren’s ear.

“Ally works Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays,” Lauren informed her quietly. “The only one who works Tuesdays is-”

“Mani,” Dinah finished for her. “Oh, Jesus’s balls, this is not gonna be good.”

Harry poked his head across the table. “What are you two whispering about?”

Dinah glanced back at him and swallowed nervously. “Shit went down on Sunday. It turns out the pastor’s daughter ain’t who she seems.”

“Pregnant? Smelly marker addiction? Oh, I know… she’s part of a cult,” Louis suggested excitedly.

“No, shh,” Lauren shushed him. The door to the kitchen opened to reveal a very worn-out looking Normani. “Here she comes now.”

“Dinah and the Bottoms,” Normani shouted loudly as she hopped over the counter and sauntered over to the group. Niall groaned loudly as the band was referred to as that horrendous name again. Her surprisingly quick change of expression threw Lauren completely off-guard. It was a goddamn miracle that Normani knew how to put on a pretty face and bare through her hardships. “My favorite Tuesday customers, what are y’all having today?”

“I’ll have two number nines, a number nine large, a number six with extra dip, a number seven, two number forty-fives, one with cheese, and a large soda,” Harry deadpanned. Only Lauren and Dinah got the reference because they were the only ones besides Normani that burst out laughing. Niall and Louis just laughed along with apprehensive looks.

Dinah sighed in amusement. “ _Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas_ \- an iconic game,” she mused. She grinned at Lauren. "The old Xbox could use some lovin', Ralph. You should come over and play with me soon." Lauren nodded eagerly; playing GTA with Dinah was more entertaining than anyone would expect - Dinah loved her explosives.

“We’re all having our usuals,” Harry clarified. “Well, DJ is having her big Tuesday dinner.” He gestured to Dinah as the girl flipped her hair dramatically.

“I’ll just have some tater tots…” Louis said.

Normani scoffed. “You sure you don’t want anything else? That’s kind of bland if you ask me. I usually get wings with my tots. I get to dip them in the sauce and…” She trailed off and licked her lips dreamily. She nervously cleared her throat and bit her lip. “Right, I’ll get your food.”

“Mani, wait-” Lauren tried to warn Normani of a certain church girl that was waiting by the hostess’ table. She cringed at how suddenly Normani stopped like a car skidding to a halt. Lauren didn’t need to see her friend’s face to tell that she looked horrified.

“Ally…” Normani cleared her throat. “What are you-”

Ally darted out the door before Normani could finish her sentence.

“Boy, she ran!” Dinah sang while Normani went back into the kitchen

Lauren glared at her. “Shut up.”

Louis gasped. “Oh, goodness! You can’t tell me that Ally and Normani are-” Lauren’s head snapped towards him. “A thing?” he mouthed.

“Who knows,” Lauren muttered in reply. “It’s not my place to know. I just hope things work out for them… they’d be cute.”

“Are you shitting me? Did you forget the shit Ally said?” Dinah hissed.

“That  _wasn’t_ Ally,” Lauren rebuked. “Ally is a sunshine that loves everyone. She didn’t mean to say anything like that. She’s just like everyone else in this town - ignorant. Normani said-”

Dinah shook her head. “It doesn’t make what she said okay,” she interrupted Lauren abruptly.

“I never said it was okay, but I _know_ Ally will own up to her mistakes,” she defended. Dinah raised a brow curiously as if she was asking how she knew. “The way Ally talked about Normani a while ago… their relationship must be a lot more than we think.”

“It isn’t our business anyway,” Louis agreed.

Niall burst out laughing at that. He turned to the outside next to him and smirked. “You really think it ain’t our business? Ain’t nobody got privacy here. All your secrets are up for exposing.”

“ _Pretty Little Liars_ except everyone is A,” Harry said with a grin.

Louis rolled his eyes. “That show is trash.”

“Excuse me!?” Lauren and Harry exclaimed.

“I _know_ you did not just diss a show with my queen Shay Mitchell as Emily,” Lauren sassed.

Harry sighed dreamily. “And Tyler Blackburn…”

Dinah groaned annoyedly, bringing her cola up to her lips. “Here those losers go again on their gay-off. Who is gayer for the cast and characters of _Shitty LIttle Liars_? Lauren or Harry?”

“Ashley Benson.”

“Ian Harding.”

“Sasha Pieterse.”

“Cody Christian.”

Louis laughed. “You weren’t joking.”

“Lucy Hale.”

“Keegan Allen.”

“Troian Bellisario.”

“Brant Daugherty.”

Niall banged his fist on the table, startling both Harry and Lauren. “Enough!” He glared at his two friends. “The cast is hot. We get it! Now, can you _please_ shut the hell up?”

“Sorry, daddy,” Harry whined.

Niall’s face turned bright crimson.

Dinah choked on her cola in shock.

Lauren had to stifle her laughter.

“Woah, okay,” Louis remarked playfully. “Someone’s got a daddy kink.”

Harry blinked. “Did I… really say that out loud?”

Dinah coughed harshly and nodded. “Yeah… you did,” she wheezed. “Cola down my pipe… Mama can’t breathe… Save me Jeebus…” she mumbled. Lauren hit her back to help her clear her airpipe.

Harry sighed slowly and ran a hand through his hair. “That’s gonna be another one of my biggest regrets, darn.”

“Oh, don’t worry, I think Niall liked it,” Louis teased as he clapped the still red-faced boy on the back.

And then a loud clang of pots came from the kitchen.

“Did somebody say daddy lover? Who!?” Normani exclaimed as she burst out the kitchen’s door. When Lauren nodded her head in the direction of Harry, Normani burst out laughing, clutching her hand close to her heart. It was nice to see something change Normani’s mood again for the better at the expense of her friend’s embarrassment. It was a sacrifice she would gladly make for the best cheerleader on the squad that deserved the world.

* * *

City-goers were always an interesting bunch to watch. Louis had his own habits that were bizarre, but Lauren assumed that was because he was from the Northeast. She jokingly asked him if _Jersey Shore_ accurately represented people from that state. He merely replied, “it’s a reality show, Lauren. Do you really think any reality shows are accurate?” He did have a good point.

Ashley Frangipane was a completely different city-goer; the girl was absolutely wild.

“I lived in New Orleans for a bit,” Ashley informed her as she popped open another hood of a car that needed to be fixed. “Mardi Gras was literally a party every day. I think you’d like it there.”

“I’m sure I’d love anywhere outside of this damn town,” Lauren retorted.

Ashley coughed loudly as a bunch of smoke. “What about Vegas?”

“Sure.”

“Detroit?”

“I don’t see any issue with it.”

“St. Louis?”

“Totally.”

“Finnsville, Wisconsin?”

Lauren furrowed her brows in confusion. “Where the fuck is Finnsville?”

“Just off of Highway 13, population: two,” Ashley informed her.

Lauren snorted. “That ain’t a town,” she said.

“Then explain the green sign!” Ashley interjected, darting from the car to her phone that sat on her sweatshirt. “Here, lemme show you-” She squealed loudly and dropped her phone just as she picked it up. “Crap, I forgot I have grease on my hands.”

Lauren rolled her eyes. “You’re an idiot.”

“Ugh, I know…” Ashley whined. “Can you grab me a towel?”

Lauren picked up the white rag next to her and threw it at Ashley’s face.

Ashley scowled and snatched it from the ground. “I said _grab me a towel_ not _throw it in my fucking face._ ”

“Really? I heard otherwise,” Lauren teased.

“Pain in the ass,” Ashley muttered as she wiped her hands. She sighed tiredly and placed her hands on her hips. “Wait, what was I doing again?” she asked Lauren.

“Finnsville,” she reminded her.

Her face lit up excitedly. “Right!” She grinned at Lauren and unlocked her phone. Ashley sort of hopped to Lauren and shoved her phone in front of her face. “See? There’s a green population sign!”

Lauren pulled her head back and squinted so she could get a better look at the screen. “Oh, that looks legit.”

Ashley gestured wildly to her. “See!? I told you!”

“We should move to Finnsville and make its population seven or eight.”

“Why seven or eight?” Ashley inquired. “We’re two people… unless you’re having quadruplets sometime soon.”

Lauren snorted. “The day I have that many kids is the day I die. I don’t think my poor vag can take more than one birth at a time.” She laughed as Ashley’s expression further showed confusion. “I’m taking the band with me. We’re a package deal. If not them, then Dinah is for sure coming with me.”

“I have yet to meet your friends or your mystery girl,” Ashley pointed out. “How are things with her by the way?”

Lauren flinched and bit her lip. “I’d… rather not talk about it.”

“Ah.” Ashley had a knowing look. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that she was rejected. She really didn’t need her friend’s pity.

The blue-haired girl went back to working on the car while Lauren went back to working on her history homework. They worked in silence for a bit. It was the one thing that Lauren found refreshing about Ashley. She seemed to get that it was okay to sit in silence sometimes. The few times that Lauren and she hung out had few intervals of silence that were anything but awkward.

“Lauren?” her dad called from his office. “Can you come in real quick?”

Lauren glanced at Ashley and then in the direction of the office. “Yeah, sure…” She hopped off the counter and sauntered to the small room that her dad used as an office only to run right into Zayn Malik.

He grinned cockily. “Hey there, Lauren,” he greeted in a way that made Lauren very uncomfortable.

“Hi…” she trailed off softly.

Zayn’s smile seemed to grow bigger. “Well, I’ll let you talk to your daddy. I don’t want to make him mad.” He chuckled loudly causing Lauren to flinch. “See you around, sugar?”

Lauren shrugged and barely brushed past her dad’s business partner into the office.

Mike Jauregui was a well-respected man in Silver. He wasn’t rich or part of the town’s council, but he had never done anything to anger anyone, since her mom left. He was nice, charming, and comical; there were no qualities that people found repulsive. Lauren thought her dad was a good person. She was proud to be called ‘daddy’s little girl’.

“Hey, Lolo,” her dad greeted excitedly from his desk. Lauren smiled back at him, but something felt off. His cheeks were flushed; his shirt was untucked in several places, and he kept glancing at the door nervously. Not only that, but the picture of her mother that usually sat on her dad’s desk was turned down.

“You took down the picture of mama,” Lauren noted. “Why?”

Her dad smiled sadly. “I thought it was time to move on.”

That statement stung Lauren. She forced herself to nod and act as if it didn’t bother her. “Okay,” she replied awkwardly.

“How’ve you been doing, kiddo?” he asked sincerely.

Lauren shrugged. “Fine.”

“Good.” He smiled warmly. “I’m glad to hear. School hasn’t been bothering you?”

“Same ol’, same ol’,” Lauren mumbled. “Dinah’s a cheerleader, so that’s a change.”

“And the band?”

Lauren grinned. “Already making plans to book it after graduation.” She placed her hands on her hips. “I’m so excited, daddy.”

Her dad’s face fell slightly. “Right, uh, about that…” Lauren raised a brow. “I don’t think you should leave Silver.”

Her breath hitched. “W-What?”

He gave her a sympathetic smile. “I know you’ve been making these plans for a long time, but I think you’d be safer here.”

“Safer? What does that mean?” Lauren demanded.

“Lauren, look at this logically. You’re leaving the only place you’ve ever known all your life and you’re going to a new city with different people and… what if you guys don’t make it big?” Her dad sighed softly. “Going into the music industry is such a big risk, darling. I don’t want you to get crushed and have you come back years later.”

Lauren knew he had a point. She thought about the possibility of failure all the time, but she believed her band could make it. They were all _so_ talented. They just needed to make their name known. “And what would I do instead?”

Her dad pointed to his desk. “I could use someone to help me run the family business.”

“You have Zayn for that,” Lauren reminded him.

“I know, but the business is in my name. I don’t wanna pass it to him when I retire.”

Lauren scowled. “Daddy, I know nothing about cars!”

Her dad nodded. “I know you don’t, and I’m not telling you that you should stay here. But you gotta think about what you’re leaving behind. What about Chris? Or Taylor?”

Lauren shrugged her shoulders. “They can take care of themselves.”

“They love you, Lauren.”

“It’s not like I’m cutting off contact with you forever!” Lauren argued. “I’ll call often.”

Her dad had a look of defeat on his features. He leaned back in his chair and sighed loudly. “Is this really what you want to do with your life?”

Lauren nodded firmly.

“Then I’m not gonna stop you from chasing your dreams,” he said supportively. “No matter what, I’ll always be proud of you.”

A grin broke out on her lips. Lauren went to the desk to give her dad a big hug. She loved him so much. She couldn’t even believe how supportive he was. It would all change if she told him about her sexuality. Lauren couldn’t lose her dad. She already lost one of her parents.

“I love you,” she breathed into his ear, “even if I don’t think I’ll ever be the daughter you want me to be.”

Her dad scoffed. “Darling, you are one of the few lights in my life. I don’t think I could ever hate you. Though if you told me you wanted to marry your brother, I might consider it,” he joked.

Lauren rolled her eyes. “Chris is gross. I’m more attracted to those with a benevolent soul and a broad mind.”

“That’s my little girl,” he said almost sadly. “I hope that whoever you end up with, _they_ treat you like a goddess.” Lauren smiled, catching onto the double meaning of his words. He knew or had his suspicions of who she was. But it was okay, nothing could break the strong bond between a daughter and her father.


	7. seven: what kind of gay shit is she pulling?

“Boiling in oil.”

“Too dull. We drive up to Wisconsin and trap her in a cave with hungry bears, right at the end of winter.”

“That lets her off too easy. Also, it’s way too far from here. Dipped in molten gold and left as a statue in her father’s office.

“Ooh. That's poetic!”

Lauren whipped her head around to glare at Dinah and Niall who were whispering way too loudly for a “quiet math assignment”. She narrowed her eyes at her two friends. “What the hell are you two talking about?”

“What to do to Camila when we finally catch her alone,” Niall answered.

“Any suggestions?” Dinah added on with a grin.

Lauren rolled her eyes. “No. You do realize she’s right over there, right?” She gestured to the brunette that was currently sat at the front of the room working on her assignment. Shawn was desperately trying to get her attention, but she kept ignoring him.

Niall shrugged. “Good. We want her to know that she shouldn’t fuck with your feelings and get away with it.”

“Guys,” Lauren sighed. “It ain’t worth it.”

Dinah snorted and rolled up a ball of paper. “On the contrary, I think it’s very worth it.” She picked up the squashed paper ball and threw it at Camila’s head. The cheerleader flinched and turned around. Dinah giggled and ducked behind Lauren. The green-eyed girl quickly flipped her hair to the side and looked away from Camila’s questioning stare.

She knew she had to talk to Camila eventually. Though both made little effort to try and fix things. It didn’t take a genius to tell that Lauren and Camila were both hurt by their falling out. Lauren wanted to apologize for calling Camila a coward. It was unfair to her, and even if they couldn’t sort out their feelings, she still wanted to be her friend.

“She looks miserable,” Niall noted. “Good.”

“Don’t be too hard on her,” Lauren mumbled. “She had a good reason to treat me like dirt.”

Dinah chuckled quietly. “So you’re defending her now? Jesus Christ, Lauren,” she huffed.

“No, I’m not-”

“It sure sounds like it,” Dinah remarked. “You need to get your priorities straight. Or should I say… priorities gay!” Niall slapped the back of her head. "Ow..."

“Not everyone is as accepting as we are,” Lauren pointed out. “Look at Ally - the poor girl can’t help it. Camila’s the same way… she’s just internalizing it.” She glanced over at Camila who was back at work again. “I wish I could show her that there’s nothing to be afraid of.”

Niall placed a hand on Lauren’s shoulder. “Then talk to her,” he suggested.

“I wish it were that simple,” she grumbled. “She’s always with Mani or Shawn. If I’m even lucky to get her alone, y’all might kill her first.”

Dinah held her hands up in defense. “Hey! I’m just saying that she needs to be taught a lesson.”

“Violence ain’t always the answer.” She grinned at Dinah. “Diplomacy is though.”

“Shove your ‘Pharmacy solves everything’ ideology up your ass.”

Lauren burst out into a fit of giggles at Dinah referring to diplomacy as pharmacy. It caught the attention of several students and the teacher. She bit her lip and averted her gaze from the teacher. “Dinah, stop it,” she hissed. “I’m gonna get in trouble.”

Dinah grinned. “If we’re lucky, Miss Lynn will send us both to the principal’s office and we can fuck in the bathroom.”

Lauren’s cheeks turned a bright crimson. “Dinah Jane…”

“What? I’m kidding, Lauser,” she reminded her. “We’d fuck in the cafeteria instead.”

“Stop! Oh my God!” Lauren whispered agitatedly as she frustratedly tried to go back to her work. There was no way she could finish the logarithm review with Dinah being absolutely the worst person to sit in front of ever.

“Can you jokers _please_ shut up?” Ariana growled. “Some of us are trying to learn.”

“Ignore them, Ari,” Shawn smirked. “They’re going to flunk out of school with their stupid dream of making it big in the music industry. We know that’s going to fail.”

Lauren narrowed her eyes. “Why, you little shit-”

“Watch your language!” Miss Lynn shouted as if she didn’t hear Shawn and Ariana being rude moments ago.

“Sorry, you little _boy_ ,” Lauren corrected. “Didn’t your mama treat you good manners? You shouldn’t crap on people’s dreams.” Her nostrils flared as she glared at the quarterback. “But then your dream of playing for the Dallas Cowboys is gonna fail too. You _suck_ at football.”

Shawn jumped out of his chair. “I dare you to say that again, Jauregui!”

“Shawn…” Camila pleaded softly, “please calm down.”

Miss Lynn glared at Lauren and Shawn. “Cut it out now. There ain’t no need for this kind of behavior.”

“Oh, there’s a need for it, but it’s undesirable apparently,” Lauren quipped. Miss Lynn scoffed and went back to grading assignments. Shawn slowly sat down as per Camila’s request, though her gaze was somewhere other than her jock arm candy. She was staring right at Lauren, and Lauren didn’t look away. It was probably the first time they made eye contact in days. Weeks? Shit, that was a long time.

A small, unexpected smile crept onto Camila’s lips.

Lauren bit the inside of her cheek and looked away quickly.

“Logarithms, Lauren,” Dinah whispered. “Focus on the task at hand.”

“Dude, she fucking smiled at me,” Lauren hissed. “What kind of gay shit is she pulling?”

Dinah groaned. “Christ, shut up.” She shoved her notebook in front of Lauren’s face, pointing to the second problem. “How do you solve this one?”

“Turn it into an exponent?” Lauren guessed. Dinah huffed loudly, giving her a look that said: “well, no shit.” Lauren scowled. “Okay, okay…” She squinted. “Then you solve for x? How many twos go into sixteen?”

“Eight,” Niall said. His eyebrows furrowed. “Oh, wait, that’s wrong. We’re talking about powers.”

Lauren shook her head. “It’s four. I think it’s four.” She grabbed Dinah’s notebook out of her hand and neatly scribbled the answer under the problem. “There you go.”

“I think it’s so interesting that four squared is two to the fourth power,” Dinah remarked with a shy smile. “It’s totally nerdy and unexpected of me to think that, but, like, it’s easy to remember now.”

She grinned at Dinah. “I love my closeted nerd,” she teased quietly as Dinah’s face scrunched up. Lauren quickly glanced around the room to see if anyone was watching them and pressed a kiss to her friend’s cheek.

Dinah smiled shyly. “That was bold. Imagine Camila’s face…”

“Oh, I think she saw.” Niall chuckled. Lauren arched a brow. “Don’t look now, but her face is as red as a tomato.”

Lauren looked over at Camila despite Niall’s warning only to find Camila kissing Shawn.

It was disgusting. Shawn looked like he was swallowing her face whole. Not only that but watching her kiss someone else made Lauren’s stomach twist. Camila had the liberty to kiss who she wanted, and Lauren understood that she was in the closet. But this was a low blow for her. Lauren clenched her fists and inhaled sharply.

“Lauren…” Dinah breathed out.

“I’m fine,” Lauren said firmly as she forced herself to stay as collected as she could.

Camila pulled away from Shawn and smiled widely before nuzzling his nose. She pecked him once more, and Lauren inhaled sharply.

Dinah placed a hand on Lauren’s shoulder. “Lauren,” she tried again. Lauren pushed Dinah’s hand off her shoulder. “Don’t push me away,” she warned.

Lauren ignored her, shot out of her seat, and shoved her chair back in. All eyes were on her as she stuffed her math work into her backpack carelessly. She zipped her backpack up and threw it on her back.

“Jauregui, where are you going?” Miss Lynn demanded.

“Class is done for me. I’m leaving,” Lauren said dismissively. Her gaze accidentally locked with Camila. Lauren noticed her guilty expression. Her lips parted slightly, and Lauren wondered if she was going to say something. Nothing came out of her mouth.

Lauren only scoffed. “Coward,” she mouthed.

Camila winced and shook her head sadly. Lauren had no problem with pouring salt in the wound once again.

She kicked open the door and stormed out without another word.

* * *

Lauren hid out behind the school. There was no way in hell she was going to the cafeteria when she knew everyone would be talking about her outburst in the math class. She wasn’t in the mood to be the subject of people staring at her. News traveled fast at Harrison.

She took one last bite of her apple and threw the core on the ground.

This Friday was not turning out the way that she wanted. Fuck Camila Cabello and her confusing behavior. Fuck herself for not able to keep her feelings under control.

Lauren heard someone gasp in surprise. She turned around quickly to find Ally clutching her lunch tray. She bit down hard on her lip and trembled.

“Ally?” Lauren spoke softly.

“Lauren,” Ally mumbled. “I didn’t know… I’ll go-”

“No, it’s okay.” She patted the spot next to her on the concrete. “You can sit.”

Ally hesitated for a moment. Nodding slowly, she took a seat next to Lauren. She could see the fear in her expression. Lauren didn’t want to give her a reassuring look because she was upset with Ally. She had  _no_ right to treat Normani like that. The way that Ally looked at Normani like she was a monster. The racial slurs, the homophobic slurs, that was something she couldn’t unhear.

“I don’t even know what to say,” Ally said shakily. “I have _no_ excuses for what I did.”

“Good. Because I don’t think I would accept any excuses,” Lauren mumbled. She sucked her breath in. “You do realize what you did was-”

“Wrong, I know. I know,” she cut her off. “I haven’t been able to sleep at night knowing that I hurt Normani, and I did it without any hesitation.” Ally exhaled. “I became a wolf in sheep’s clothing.”

Lauren didn’t say anything. Ally was shaking violently. The poor girl was on the verge of tears. “I thought what I was doing was the right thing.The Bible preaches that homosexuality is wrong. A man that lies with another man… oh, God…” She chewed on her lower lip. “I felt nothing good from it.”

“Was that why you were at the diner the other night?” Lauren asked. “Were you going to apologize or..?”

“I was,” Ally admitted. “But I couldn’t. The look on Mani’s face… I was too upset with myself to face her.”

Lauren nodded. “Have you attempted to try again?”

“I think she knows I’m sorry,” she said.

“That’s not good enough,” Lauren seethed. “You called her a crow for fuck’s sake!”

Ally sniffled and buried her head in her hands. “I know, Lauren, I know! And I am really sorry for it. I _hurt_ her. I hurt you guys by association too because you didn’t deserve to be referred to as _dykes_ -”

She burst into tears. It was almost pathetic. Lauren wanted to wrap her arms around her to calm her down; but after everything that happened, she just couldn’t. Instead, she tentatively squeezed Ally’s shoulder.

“I’m s-so sorry, Lauren,” Ally choked out. She lifted her head and looked at Lauren. “I _never_ wanted to hurt you, or Dinah, or Mani. I’m just so scared…”

Lauren knew. Lauren understood. “You’re not alone, Ally,” she assured her.

She shook her head rapidly. “How in the Lord’s name did you do it? How were you able to accept yourself? Why can’t I be as brave as you?”

“It doesn’t come to you inherently,” Lauren replied. “I wasn’t born brave.”

Ally frowned. “That’s a lie. Lauren, you’re the bravest woman I’ve ever met. You had to have got it from your father. Despite all the terrible things Ariana, Shawn, and Austin throw at you, you continue to hold your head high. You don’t  _care_ what people think. You face every new day like a challenge against a dragon and slay it effortlessly.”

Lauren was flattered by her words, but Ally didn’t know anything. She didn’t know that Lauren cried herself to sleep sometimes because having feelings for Camila hurt so much. She didn’t know that Lauren missed her mother every single day. She didn’t know how hard it was to keep pushing forward when all she wanted to do was break down.

“In order to be brave, you have to love yourself first,” Lauren told her. “A coward will hide their feelings and deny themselves. A coward will bring others down just so they can hold onto a sliver of self-confidence before it goes away for good.” She took a deep breath. “It wasn’t easy for me, Ally. It won’t be easy for you. You have to love yourself before you can be brave enough to love someone else.”

“Am I not brave enough to love Normani?”

Lauren furrowed her brows. “Do you love Normani?”

She hesitated for a moment, biting hard on her lip before whispering, “yes.”

A huge smile formed on the green-eyed girl’s lips. “And would you say you’re a lesbian?”

Ally looked very uncomfortable at the mention of sexuality. She fidgeted slightly. “I’ve tried to fight it off.” She chewed on her lower lip. “But I guess I… oh God, my dad’s going to kill me. isn’t he?”

“You don’t have to tell anyone, Ally,” Lauren assured.

Ally nodded. “Yeah… but Mani…”

“Does she know you love her?”

Ally nodded once again.

“Girl, you have one _fucked_ up relationship,” Lauren remarked with a chuckle. She couldn’t help but smirk when Ally flinched at her curse word. “Maybe you should explain to me the whole story.”

“It’ll take forever.” Ally groaned.

Lauren grinned. “We have all of lunch, Ally. I’m sure we could skip some of Science too.”

Ally seemed to consider her for a second. Her brows furrowed and her lips pursed in thought. Lauren wasn’t going to push her, but she’d be lying if she told herself she wasn’t curious as to how Ally Brooke ended up with Normani Kordei. They lived on two different sides of town. Normani had to lie about her own last name just so she could maintain her popularity. Her smiles were forced and her story was fabricated so perfectly. If Lauren didn’t live across the way from Normani’s trailer, she would actually believe that lie. Getting involved with Ally would be like playing with fire. Normani would have to risk everything to be with her and had a high chance of getting burned.

“If I’m gonna start anywhere, I guess I’ll start when I first actually got to know Mani outside of class and church.”

Lauren leaned her head against the school’s wall and listened intently as Ally told her story.

Ally had always been intrigued by Normani. The way she held her head up high and took shit from absolutely no one yet still managed to be the right hand of the queen of Harrison High was admirable. As a younger girl when didn’t have nice blouses and skirts like the rest of the female population of her elementary school, she still was considered the prettiest girl in school. Racist remarks were thrown at her by ignorant fools; she never acted like it phased her. Like Lauren, Ally admired Normani for her bravery.

They didn’t start talking until sophomore year. Ally needed to interview a cheerleader for the yearbook (That girl really was involved in everything). None of the seniors were available, Ariana was out of town at some gymnastics competition, and Normani was the only other “important” member of the squad. The interview really opened Ally’s eyes. She learned so much from Normani, who was as passionate and strong-willed as she looked. The interview was supposed to be about cheerleading; instead, it became an interview about morals and what’s next for the future of Silver and themselves. Ally found Normani’s views to be refreshing and effectively challenged her conservative childhood.

Ally and Normani started getting closer over junior year. Ally could tell that it was in a more than platonic sense, but she supposed it was because they really connected on a deep level. They started spending a lot of time together. Ally would have Normani over for sleepovers every weekend. The pair were attached to the hip like two childhood best friends. Lauren always figured Ally and Normani were close, but she never knew why.

Normani was the one to initiate their first kiss. Ally recalled the memory with the widest smile on her lips that Lauren had ever seen. She told her how soft Normani’s lips were, how careful and gentle she was with her; Normani never once pressured her to go further than Ally was ready for. That kiss was not only the first of many shared in the future, but it was her actual first kiss. Ally ran away, as expected from a closeted lesbian in a sheltered town. But after weeks of pondering and longing glances, Ally agreed to give them a try.

“Thus began my descent into hell. We both took a bite of the forbidden fruit, and God only knew what we were getting to,” Ally had said.

It was a perfect description of their relationship. Second semester of junior year was filled with hiding and secret kisses. Ally thought she did an amazing job of keeping up her straight image intact, but Normani wasn’t as successful. Normani began to crave Ally like a drug. The longing looks became lustful looks, and Ally lost her virginity in the backseat of Normani’s jalopy. It was a passionate, secret affair that Ally believed she’d grow out of. But in June she came to the realization that she was in love with her, and that scared her more than anything.

Despite all the fights and denial of their relationship, Ally told Normani that she loved her. Normani said it back. Everything felt perfect until Ally’s father started getting suspicious of Normani. A part of Ally felt that her father somehow knew she wasn’t straight. If that were the case, why hadn’t her father sent her to some sort of place to get conversion therapy? Ally had to be more careful, but Normani never made it easy.

“I was so shocked when you and Dinah found me,” Ally admitted. “My brain just shut down. I lost it because I was  _so_ ashamed of myself. I thought I ruined everything..” She grimaced. “I did ruin everything.”

Lauren bit her lip. “That’s not true, Ally. You can fix this-”

“How?” Ally breathed out. “I don’t think I can look her in the eye again.” Lauren wrapped her arms around her, prompting Ally to start sobbing again. She buried her head in the crook of Lauren’s neck. “She deserves so much better than me. Normani deserves the world, and I can only give her dust.”

“Talk to her,” Lauren said. “If she truly loves you, she’ll see that you’re sorry and forgiveness is highly likely.”

Ally sniffled quietly. She lifted her head from Lauren’s shoulder and pulled away. “You’re an amazing person. I hope you find a girl that treats you the way you deserve to be and makes your heart swell.”

Her brows furrowed. “Huh?” Lauren laughed softly. “It just occurred to me that I don’t even know how you know about my sexuality.”

“You’re not exactly subtle,” Ally informed her with a small smile. “The times I’ve caught you staring at Dinah’s breasts and Camila’s ass is higher than the number of pages in the Bible.”

Lauren’s cheeks turned a bright pink in embarrassment. “I w-wasn’t…”

“You were.” Ally clicked her tongue. “I didn’t say anything because I wanted to believe it wasn’t true. Nowadays, I don’t really give a f-” She paused, eyes widening briefly. “Fudge,” she corrected.

Lauren laughed and pulled Ally back in for another hug.

* * *

“So this is it, huh?” Ashley mused as she gestured to the football field. Lauren raised a brow. “Oh, no, it’s fine, yeah? It’s just, I thought it would be bigger.” Ashley then scoffed. “Pfft, that would’ve been hilarious if you were a man, right? Wasted.” Loud gasps came from the crowd and Ashley immediately jumped to her feet. “CHEAP SHOT! THAT’S A CHEAP SHOT! HE TOTALLY TOUCHED HIS ASS!”

Lauren groaned and rubbed her temples frustratedly. “Can I just pretend I don’t know you?”

“Nah, man! I live for high school football games. It’s the only entertainment around here.” Lauren immediately regretted bringing Ashley to the football game. Dinah was usually her go-to person, but she was stuck shaking her ass and pom-poms down on the field.  Niall and Harry were working on a science project and Louis was nowhere to be found. Ashley was the only person she thought she’d enjoy a Friday night football game with.

“I pegged you as a girl that would go get high under the bleachers,” Lauren tittered.

Ashley grinned. “Oh, I did, but only if it was a fucking blow out.” She gestured to the scoreboard that flashed a 28 - 27 with the Warriors losing. “It’s an intense game so far. No weed required.”

“I’m surprised Shawn has managed to hold the ball. He has tiny hands,” Lauren snarked.

“You know what they say about guys with small hands…”

Lauren met Ashley’s gaze. Both of them broke out into a grin and burst out into a fit of giggles. As if on cue, the crowd groaned in disappointment as “star quarterback” Shawn Mendes dropped the ball again. “They say they can’t throw footballs,” Lauren finished jokingly.

Ashley clapped her on the back. “‘Atta girl.” Lauren’s gaze moved back to the game and tried to concentrate, but Ashley’s stare was putting her off. Lauren wasn’t one to like being watched especially in this close proximity. It was hypocritical to say, but Lauren was very picky about her likes and dislikes. She loved watching other people, but she hated when people watched her. “This is the happiest I’ve seen you,” Ashley noted. “It’s nice to see you smile for once.”

Lauren turned to look at her again. “When life fucks you in the ass, you can always rely on sweaty boys pinning each other to the ground while whispering ‘no homo’ to cheer you up.”

“Good point.”

The buzzer rang loudly, signifying it was halftime. Many people in the stands stood up and stretched. It was the perfect opportunity to go to the bathroom or get more snacks. Well, the cheerleaders were performing too. As much as Lauren wanted to support Dinah, seeing her do thigh stands with Camila was more sickening than it was arousing.

“Should we get snacks? Yeah, let’s get snacks. I’m out of popcorn.” Ashley held up her popcorn box and shook it.

“I don’t know if I got the cash for it,” Lauren replied, reaching into her pocket. She pulled out a crumpled dollar bill. “That’s definitely not enough for more popcorn.”

Ashley whined loudly. “Fuck you, poor bitch.”

“I don’t fuck naked mole rats,” she shot back.

Her friend’s eyebrows rose. “Do I really look like a naked mole rat?”

Lauren shrugged. “You got the mental complexity of one.”

The blue-haired scowled and pouted, crossing her arms over her chest. “Touché.” She gestured to the field where some of the cheerleaders were already warming up. “They look ready to kill,” she remarked. She pointed at a tall blonde figure that on closer inspection looked like Dinah. “That girl’s out there looking like a snack. Is she single?”

“That’s Dinah,” Lauren said flatly. “And if you try to seduce her with your city charm, I will chop your fingers off.”

“Ouch! You’re so violent,” Ashley huffed. “Remind me to never cross you or your girls.”

Lauren laughed and puffed her chest out proudly. “Okay, I’m gonna go take a piss. Save my seat, and _don’t_ do anything stupid.”

“Why, Lauren,” Ashley sang mockingly. “I would  _never_ do anything stupid. I’m as innocent as they come!” Lauren chuckled and sent her an incredulous look. Ashley grinned stupidly and sprawled out on the bench so no one could take Lauren’s spot.

Lauren pushed past the people blocking the way down to the ground. It was a pain in the ass to deal with slow people already, but slow people that wouldn’t move? The absolute worse. Everyone in town came to these football games so she had to be somewhat respectful to older people. She figured the bathrooms near the stadium would be impossible to get to due to the long lines; she’d have to use the bathrooms in the main gymnasium. The perks of being a high school student, she supposed.

To her great delight, the gymnasium was unlocked. The lights were off not so surprisingly. Cheerleaders usually changed and practiced there before the game. There was no need for it now. The humming of the fans provided Lauren with an eerie sense of foreboding. It was probably because Harrison High was hell on earth.

She made her way to the girls’ locker room and paused when she heard the gymnasium doors creak open.

 _Shit, I’m about to get murdered,_ Lauren thought irrationally. She didn’t hesitate to pull the door open and dash into the locker room.

Heavy breaths escaped her lips. She had no idea why she was scared in the first place. As a girl that joked about dying, she definitely shouldn’t be scared shitless of someone entering a dark room. Lauren pressed her back against the stone wall at the other side of the locker room. She was being completely idiotic; she knew it too, but she couldn’t pull herself together.

Lauren Jauregui would rather suck dick than be the third reported homicide in Silver, Texas.

And to her horror, the door creaked open.

Lauren sucked her breath in quickly as the sound of person’s footsteps edged close to her ominously.

_Shitballs. Fuck. Shit. Crap. I’m dead. Shit. Ass. No more pussy. Crap!_

“Lauren?” Lauren’s killer asked quietly. Wait, scratch that, that definitely wasn’t the voice of a murderer.

Unless, of course, Camila Cabello was actually a psychopathic killer.

Lauren didn’t respond. She had no reason to in the first place. Though a few steps closer, she could see Camila perfectly due to the dim lighting from the window in the bathroom. That also meant that Camila could see her. “I thought it was you making a beeline for the only bathrooms that’d be open.” She smiled faintly. “You’re smart, Lo.”

“What do you want, Camila?” Lauren snapped. “Don’t you have a fucking game to cheer for?”

Camila nodded. “I do… but they don’t need me.”

“You’re a fly,” Lauren pointed out.

“ _Flyer,_ ” Camila corrected her.

“Bitch, did I ask?”

“My point is that Ariana will throw a fit because her routine will be messed up, but she’d be an idiot to knock me off the squad for missing one game,” Camila replied.

Lauren sighed in frustration. She couldn’t exactly run, not when Camila was literally right in front of her. She was so angry, so confused - man, all she wanted was to take a piss. “I’ll ask again,” she croaked, “what the fuck do you want?”

Lauren didn’t get a verbal answer. Instead, she got a cheerleader surging forward and bringing their lips together roughly. She never thought she’d taste Camila’s lips again, and  _holy shit_ , it felt amazing. Lauren had been suffocating, gasping for breath and release from her anger. Camila was the air that she’d been denied for weeks. Now that she could finally breathe, Lauren felt the most alive she’s ever been.

Lauren tugged Camila closer to her and nipped her lower lip. Camila gasped into her mouth; the vibrations sent Lauren a wave of pleasure that she craved for so long.

But Camila was her own forbidden fruit, Normani risked it all to be with Ally. Now, Lauren was risking it all to be with Camila at that moment. And as a punishment, God banished her from the Garden of Eden through Camila that one Saturday night. Lauren slumped back against the wall in shock at Camila’s sudden movement.

The brunette was gasping, panting, shaking to the point where it looked like she was about to collapse. “Damn it!” she hissed, pulling at her own tresses frustratedly. “Fucking shit! Fuck!”

“Camila?” Lauren whispered.

“Why do I feel things? Damn it, this isn’t right!” Camila cried out. She whipped her head around to glare at Lauren. “You vile seductress! You’re the one  _fucking_ with my head and making me feel things. This is all your fault.”

 _“Excuse me!?_ ” Lauren snapped. “You’re the one who kissed me!”

“You kissed me first!” Camila argued. “I can’t even be around Shawn without feeling sick and confused! I thought I could get over my stupidly sinful crush…”

“Are you seriously trying to play the victim here, Camila?” Lauren narrowed her eyes. “I didn’t corrupt you. You feel like this because you like girls. You like _me_ .” Camila’s jaw dropped slightly at her blunt words. “I _know_ you’re scared. You have every right to be, but I refuse to be your little toy that you use as your punching bag and your plaything!”

Camila rolled her eyes. “You called me a coward,” she spat.

“I did,” Lauren agreed.

“Twice.”

“I was angry.”

“That’s no excuse! Do you have any idea how terrible I felt after that? You’re just as hot and cold as I am. You said you were sorry and that you understood, then you started acting all pissy! What’s the truth, Lauren?” Camila fired back. “You’re a hypocrite, Lauren. I bet you were just as scared when you came out.” An uncharacteristically sinister smile formed on her glossed lips. “Oh, wait, you’re not out yet, are you? But everyone knows it, Lauren. You think you’re _so_ subtle but everyone and their mama can see that you’re a big ol’ lesb-”

Lauren didn’t let her finish. She pushed off the wall and brought her lips back to Camila’s. Camila groaned in response, not even bothering to push her away again. Their tongues battled for dominance and Lauren let herself get lost in the kiss once more. It was rough, a little too rough for Lauren at that moment. Their anger was fuelling the kiss. Camila ran her hands through Lauren’s hair and tugged on her tresses causing Lauren to growl in pain.

Camila slammed her against the bathroom wall. shocking Lauren immensely. Camila pinned her shoulders against the wall and stared into Lauren’s eyes as she broke the kiss.

“Stop confusing me,” Lauren whispered as she broke away from the kiss.

“Stop making me want you,” Camila countered.

Lauren shook her head. “Impossible,” she said sincerely. “You’re the only thing I’ve wanted since sophomore year.”

“Oh my God,” Camila gasped. Lauren brought their lips together again. This kiss wasn’t as rough as the other two. Camila wasn’t even effectively kissing her back. It was more Lauren ruining Camila’s lipgloss by kissing her meaningfully. She was conveying words that she couldn’t speak because of her goddamn feelings.

Camila sighed and broke the kiss. She didn’t look angry, but her eyes conveyed wariness and worry.

“I’m tired of running from you,” she said breathlessly. “I’m tired of denying what’s there.”

Lauren’s brows furrowed. “Camz…”

“No, Lo, you need to know how sorry I am,” Camila pleaded as she cupped her cheeks. “I’m sorry for denying you and my feelings. I still am trying. I really am.” She chewed on her lower lip. “The last thing I want to do is hurt you over and over again. That’s why I didn’t want a relationship at first.”

“I’m a selfish asshole, I know,” Lauren mumbled.

“No, you’re not,” she argued. “But the more I watched you this past week, the more I realized I was hurting myself for doing this. Keeping Shawn around to make you jealous…” Lauren raised a shocked brow at that. “Seeing you and Dinah acting all close really set me off.”

Lauren couldn’t help but chuckle. “Dinah and I are just friends. I don’t think we’ll ever be more than friends. I love her and she loves me, but not like that,” she informed her.

Camila smiled faintly and stroked her cheek. “My point is… I want to give us a try.”

“Wait, what?” Lauren nearly yelled.

“Not so loud,” Camila chastised her. Lauren quickly shut her mouth and gave her an apologetic look. “I’m serious. I don’t think I can deny that I have feelings for you. And that means… I like girls? In a gay way.” She blinked and let out a forced laugh. “Holy shit, I like girls in a gay way.”

Lauren smiled at her adoringly. God, this girl was so freaking adorkable. How she got to be Ariana Grande’s friend was a goddamn mystery. “So, you wanna be my girlfriend in a gay way?”

“Hell yeah, I’ll be your girlfriend in a gay way,” Camila replied jokingly. “You already took me on a date. I don’t see why we gotta wait to be a bunch of homos together officially.”

They both burst out laughing and Lauren threw her arms around her. Camila hugged her back and squeezed her gently. Hugging her girlfriend never felt better. In the end, Lauren ended up getting the girl. She’d do whatever it took to make sure Camila was okay with her sexuality. She promised not to push her at all. She figured Camila would want to keep their relationship behind closed doors; Lauren was okay with that as long as she wouldn’t hurt her in public like Ally did to Normani.

_“And now please welcome Harrison High’s own cheer squad!”_

“Oh, fuck,” Camila cursed quietly.

Lauren grinned. “What happened to the ‘They don’t need me’ sha-ding?”

“Shut up,” she whined.

Lauren only shrugged and kissed Camila’s forehead gently. “I need to pee,” she admitted. “You should go back to the squad.”

“I don’t wanna leave you now!”

“It’ll be fine. You went a week or so without me, right?”

Camila pouted. “I missed you the entire time though, but fine, I’ll go now.” She pecked Lauren’s lips lightly. “See you in the crowd.”

“Shake your ass during the cheer, but not too much because otherwise, I’ll have to tie Ashley to a pole. That won’t be a pretty sight,” Lauren warned.

“No, but it’ll be a pretty damn amusing one,” Camila remarked.

“Oh my God, please go back to the field, Camz!”

“Go take a wee, you loser!”

“Fine!”

“Fine!”

The two girls broke out into grins and Lauren ended up getting a better fate than death after a confrontation in the locker room. Nothing could kill her after she reached this new peak, absolutely nothing.


	8. eight: good people don't deserve to be punished

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings for mild sexual content in this chapter and more so the next.

“Have a nice day,” Harry said as he put down a seven of spades.

That prompted Louis to grin and shove the card back at him. “Incorrect play.”

Harry’s nostrils flared as he examined his card in disbelief. “What do you mean incorrect play? That was a seven!”

“Talking,” Normani said as she drew a card from the pile and handed it to Harry. Card games were surprisingly very therapeutic for Lauren and her group of friends. If they had the time, Lauren would invite the gang to the auto shop and they’d play several games of cards. Last time they met up as a group, they ended up playing Euchre. Normani and Lauren both destroyed the rest of the group. That day there were three new additions to the usual crowd. Newbies Louis and Ashley were welcomed to their hangout and Lauren’s _friend_ Camila was invited by Normani.

Mao was the chosen game because only a handful of people knew how to play. It was a really frustrating game for those who didn’t know how to play because the rules were never explained. Adding more tension to their group was _just_ what they needed. Not. Therapeutic group card session? Not at all happening when Normani and Lauren were competitive little shits.

Dinah and Niall kept giving Camila cold stares and apprehensive looks. No matter how many times Lauren assured them that Camila and she were good now, they didn’t believe her.

“Bullshit. That was not an incorrect play-”

“Talking and swearing,” Normani warned as she placed two more penalty cards on Harry’s deck.

Lauren couldn’t help but giggle at how serious Normani was taking the game and Harry’s reactions to it.

“Laughing.” Normani handed Lauren a penalty card. She turned to Camila, who was next to Louis and handed another penalty card to her. “Failure to play during turn.”

“Game off!” Dinah shouted agitatedly. Everyone put their cards down. The blonde turned to glare at her. “Mani quit being a little shit.”

Normani raised a brow. “How am I being a little shit?” she scoffed. “I’m just making sure everyone is playing the game correctly. I’m sorry that I have to call people out, but it’s the rules.”

Ashley pursed her lips and leaned over to whisper into Lauren’s ear. “When did we have a rule against laughing? I don’t remember that happening at all,” she muttered.

“It was a new rule that Mani added after winning last round. Weren’t you paying attention?” Lauren hissed. Ashley shrugged her shoulders in reply.

“You’re a dickwad, Normani!”

“No, you’re just a sore loser.”

“Bitch, I will not hesitate to-”

“Dinah and Normani,” Camila interrupted them with a groan. “For the love of all that is holy, can you stop your arguing? _Please._ ” She sighed in frustration while Normani and Dinah grumbled a few more insults directed at each other.

Harry cleared his throat. “Now can someone explain why my move was incorrect?”

“We can’t do that,” Lauren replied. “It ain’t allowed.”

“Says who!?” he seethed.

Lauren smirked. “The laws of Mao, my dear boy.” She couldn’t help but feel very superior when his brows furrowed. It was one of the luxuries of being a veteran player of a card game where the rules weren’t explained. “You learn the rules by trial and error. It ain’t that difficult.” She gestured to Camila’s hand which had nine cards. “See? Camz is a newbie and she has less than ten cards. That’s good for a first-timer.”

Camila shook her head. “That might totally change, Lo. I already got a penalty card for not going.”

She moved her hand to pick up the penalty card she had just received but Normani swatted her hand away. “No touching your hand while the game is off!” Camila gave her a blank stare and slapped her left hand and then squeezed the skin pointedly. Normani rolled her eyes. “Jesus Christ, I didn’t mean literally, you clown,” she hissed.

“Can’t we just play a game of B.S. instead?” Niall groaned. “None of us know how to play except for Mani and Lauren, and I’m pretty sure they’re cheating.”

“We ain’t cheating!” Lauren protested.

“You literally have two cards left. Only a cheater gets two cards left,” Niall argued with an angry scowl. “And Mani is calling every move out as we’ve just gone over. I see a very valid reason why you two could be considered cheating.”

Lauren rolled her eyes annoyedly. “You’re just butthurt that you suck at cards.”

“I don’t wanna stop. I’m having fun,” Louis added on. “People in New Jersey suck at cards.”

“That’s statist!” Dinah laughed loudly at her own joke. “Okay, okay, game on.”

“No one’s really going to explain what I did wrong?” Harry asked again as he picked up his cards.

Normani grinned so widely that Lauren could have sworn her face was going to end up getting ripped off. “Talking.” She slid him a penalty card. Harry mouthed a curse word and took the card grumpily.

“Spades,” Normani said as she put down a four of spades.

“Chicken nugget,” Lauren said immediately. That was another rule that had been put in place. After someone put down an even number, the person that was opposite of the person who put down that card had to say “chicken nugget”. It was a stupid rule, but Mao was a stupid game.

“Spades and all hail the king,” Niall said as he put down a king of spades.

Dinah put down a king of hearts with a very extra flourish.

Louis put down a ten of hearts.

Before Lauren moved to put down her card, Normani already was handing Camila a penalty card. “Failure to say ‘chicken nugget’.”

“Kiss my ass,” Camila shot back.

Lauren grinned. “Talking and swearing,” she reprimanded as she grabbed two penalty cards and flung them at her girlfriend.

Oh, shit, Camila was her girlfriend. It totally slipped her mind due to the fact that they had to act like they were just friends in front of their other friends. The flirty texts and subtle loving smiles were enough to keep Lauren going. It was so hard not to tell her fellow gays that she was tapping that Cuban ass, but she had to respect her wishes. If she wasn’t ready to come out yet, then she wasn’t ready to come out yet. Though Lauren wanted so desperately to show off her cheerleader girlfriend.

Lauren then realized it was her turn and glanced down at her cards. She had a two of hearts and a jack of diamonds. Jacks were wild cards; she was gonna win. Lauren placed the two of hearts on top of the pile. “Last card,” she said gleefully.

“Chicken nugget,” Normani grumbled.

Ashley put down an eight of hearts. Lauren had to bite down hard on her lip to prevent herself from gasping. Eights were reverse cards which meant Lauren had to go again. She grinned at everyone and put down her jack of diamonds. “Mao!”

A chorus of groans erupted from the group. Harry threw his cards down. “Suck my ass, Jauregui! You’re a fucking witch!”

Lauren blew him a kiss. “Please, you _love_ me,” she drawled, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. As Normani was the dealer, the rest of the group handed their cards back to her with begrudged looks. “What? Is no one going to congratulate me on my win? Fake fans.” Lauren huffed.

“Shut up, Lauser, you won twice before,” Dinah growled.

Lauren pouted. “Dinaah,” she half-whined, half-sang.

“Ooh, I love it when you sing my name.”

She winked at her best friend and hopped to her feet. “I’m gonna get some more soda. Anyone want some?” she asked the group.

“Get me another Sprite,” Normani said, waving her hand dismissively.

“I second that,” Harry added on.

Dinah leaned back against the wall of the auto shop. “You already know what I want.”

Louis smiled nervously. “Uh… can I have a Pepsi-Cola?” Lauren’s jaw dropped and she gasped. Dinah and Ashley had the exact same reaction. No one around town would even think about having Pepsi products. They were just as bad as Atlanta; it was Coca-Cola or bust.

Niall rolled his eyes. “Uh, no, clearly you don’t know how things work around here. Absolutely no Pepsi allowed at all, city boy.”

Louis’s forehead creased in confusion. “Right… weirdos. I’ll take a Coke then.” Niall muttered a “that’s better” and patted him on the back.

“I can come with you, Lo,” Camila offered with a wide smile. “Carrying all that soda could be difficult.”

Lauren’s eyebrow rose. She was perfectly capable of holding all the cans and bottles of soda, unless… _oh._ “Sure thing, Camz.” Camila practically leaped to her feet. Lauren pointed at Normani. “You’re in charge. Make sure Ashley or Dinah doesn’t do anything stupid. I’m not cleaning grease out of Dinah’s sweatshirt.”

She latched onto Camila and led her out of the main garage to a back room where all the snacks were. Her dad always kept it occupied with tons of snacks because Chris ate a lot. There was also an old soda machine that Ashley got working a few weeks ago. That was a blessing on Earth.

“‘Carrying all that soda can be difficult’? Can you be any more obvious?” Lauren muttered in Camila’s ear as she shut the lounge’s door behind them. Camila giggled and shrugged her shoulders. Lauren rolled her eyes at her girlfriend and leaned down to peck her lips softly. “Hi,” she whispered.

A lazy smile formed on Camila’s lips as she carefully rested her hands on Lauren’s biceps. “Hi,” she squeaked in reply.

“Stop being so cute,” Lauren chastised her teasingly as she placed her hands on Camila’s waist.

Camila snorted and shook her head. “That’s impossible. Because when I’m cute you have this radiant smile on your face that I just want to treasure forever.”

“That’s gay,” Lauren teased.

Camila chuckled. “I know.” She leaned in to kiss Lauren fully. Lauren sighed gently as she pulled her closer to her. She could never get tired of kissing Camila. Even if it was brief most of the time and in the girls’ bathroom, Lauren treasured every second she was as connected to Camila as she could get.

“I missed you,” Camila hummed as she broke the kiss. Lauren raised a brow. “Not like that, idiot, I know we see each other all the time. I miss being close to you and kissing you. It’s hard to remember that we can’t always be in our little bubble.”

Lauren sighed. “Yeah… but it’s for the best, right?” No, it wasn’t, but Lauren couldn’t exactly flaunt her sexuality out and about even with a girlfriend.

“Right,” she agreed, squeezing Lauren’s biceps. “Let’s get that soda before our friends get suspicious.”

“Do you want the honors of getting it out of the machine?” Lauren asked as she led them the machine. She pulled the keys out of her pocket and grinned widely. Camila nodded and took the keys from her hands and kissed her cheek.

Lauren leaned against the side of the machine as Camila fiddled with the locks and eventually opened it. She took two bottles of cola and handed them to Lauren and then took two bottles of Sprite. Camila flashed her a heart-melting smile and then grabbed a Fanta for herself. Lauren wasn’t in the mood for a soda so she shook her head and declined her offer.

“That took a lot of less time than I thought it would,” Lauren noted as Camila locked the door. “We have some time…”

“Oh?” Camila smirked. “What are you proposing?”

Lauren shrugged nonchalantly. “A quickie?”

Camila chuckled and shook her head. “Not a chance. There’s no way I’m going to lose my virginity in the back room of an auto shop.”

“Wait, you’re a virgin!?” Lauren blurted out. Camila nodded slowly. “Shit, I thought Shawn hit that already. Damn…”

“He tried.” Lauren’s jaw clenched at that remark. “But I made it clear I didn’t want it from him.”

“Huh,” Lauren said, bemused. She noticed the apprehensive look on Camila’s face. As if Lauren would ever judge Camila for being a virgin. Lauren herself hadn’t even gotten past second base. Some may wonder who it was, and Lauren was rather embarrassed to admit that her first experiments were not with a romantic partner. She told herself constantly that it didn’t mean anything; but after giving her first kiss and breast squeeze to someone that important to her, she often wondered what that truly meant. Camila did have a few of her firsts though. Her first public kiss and girlfriend - that made up for it. “I’m actually a virgin too,” Lauren admitted. She bit her lip to prevent herself from laughing at Camila’s gasp. “I’m ready… I just want it to be perfect.”

Camila smiled gently at her and squeezed her shoulder. “Me too,” she told her. Their gaze met, and Lauren suddenly got the feeling that they both were on the same page at that moment. Lauren was more than willing to go that far with Camila, but not yet. “When we’re both ready though,” she added on quickly.

“Yeah,” Lauren agreed. She bit her lip. “I can touch your breasts at any time, right?”

Camila scowled and hit her. “Yes,” she huffed.

“Under the shirt?” Lauren probed.

“Over the bra.”

Lauren pouted. “Damn, okay,” she relented. “Though I’m pretty sure you’ll want my hands all over your girls.” Camila hit her again and Lauren mumbled “girlfriend abuse” under her breath.

Silence overcame them again. Camila and Lauren exchanged giddy smiles. Neither of them seemed to want to go back, and Lauren was more than okay with spending a few more extra minutes with her girlfriend.

“You can touch my breasts too, you know,” Lauren mumbled.

Camila’s lips curved into a small smile. “I respect you too much for that.” Lauren giggled at the obvious reference to _Lady Bird_ . Camila pressed a chaste kiss to her lips. “I’m kidding. I’m beyond curious to see what your _boobies_ are like-”

And then a loud crash came from the other side of the wall that connected her dad’s office to the backroom.

_“Are you fucking kidding me, Michael!? You can’t back out of this now!”_

Camila gave Lauren a wary look. Lauren shrugged her shoulders in response. Zayn and her dad always argued about the business; this was probably no different from the last time.

_“Zayn, I-”_

_“No, you listen to me, old man! I fucking own you!”_

Another crash caused Lauren to flinch. She found herself gravitating to the source of the sound. She felt Camila’s hand on her back and she turned her head. An apprehensive look was evident on her girlfriend’s features. Lauren gave her a reassuring smile and pressed her ear against the wall.

 _“I refuse to have my auto shop be a ruse for your hooligans! Sheriff Grande has been on my tail for months for ‘suspicious’ activity,”_ her father argued.

_“So? Deal with it! I’ll send Ashley to go talk to him if that really scares you-”_

_“Ashley? She’s useless! I mean, not totally. she’s been a great friend to Lauren, but I can hardly see her doing jobs for you.”_

_“You’d be surprised.”_

“What the _fuck_?” Lauren mouthed to Camila.

_“I’m done with this. Our partnership is over. I’m sick of your secret games, Zayn.”_

A disgustingly wicked laugh was heard from the office. _“You can’t get rid of me so easily, Jauregui. What would happen if I told your daughter about what really happened with Clara?”_

_“Don’t you dare-”_

_“You just couldn’t handle her anymore, could you? She was a sweet girl. But you craved something more than that. You needed something stronger.”_

_“Stop it. Stop it right now.”_

_“Why? Michael, you’re the reason your marriage fell apart. You just couldn’t resist me. I was there and available. How would your kids feel if I told them that you like men?”_

The bottles dropped from her arms. Lauren’s breath hitched.  Her heart pounded so loudly she wondered if Camila could hear it. She held her hand over her mouth. Was her dad _gay_? She couldn’t believe it. Did her mother really leave because her dad liked guys?

_“I could deal with the consequences of that. Clara left because I was unfaithful, not my sexuality. She said she needed time, and that she was coming back.”_

Okay, that part was accurate at least. Her dad did tell her that there was a possibility that her mother would come back.

_“The story around town says otherwise.”_

_“It’s all lies. Silver will believe anything you tell them.”_

“Lauren…” Camila whispered. Lauren brought a finger up to her lips, motioning her to be quiet.

_“You’re bluffing though. I know that this town would want to torch your place if they knew about your sexuality. That leaves the business to me, doesn’t it?”_

_“Are you threatening me?”_

_“Maybe. But you’re going to let me distribute the weed as normal. Or I will end you and your business. My drug cartel ain’t going anywhere.”_

Drugs? What the _fuck_? Lauren’s jaw dropped in shock and she quickly moved away from the wall. “Holy… shit…” she gasped and ran a hand through her hair.

“Zayn Malik and Mike Jauregui,” Camila said softly. “Those have to be the guys Ariana’s dad has been looking for for months. The thing keeping Ariana up all night ‘cause her daddy’s so stressed…” She turned to Lauren and pursed her lips. “Did you know about this? The drugs?”

Lauren’s eyes widened. “Camz, no! How could I? I’m… just as shocked as you are.” She bit her lip and sunk back against the wall. “How could I miss this? My dad… _cheated_ on mom with Zayn. And now he’s protecting him and his illegal activities,” she blubbered. Tears began to form in her eyes. Shit, she wouldn’t cry. Not in front of Camila. Not when she had to be the strong one in their relationship. “I don’t even know my own father.”

“Lo…” Camila breathed out, taking a step closer to her.

“That makes me a criminal by association. My name is on the property, I think. My _family_ business. I could get in trouble for shit I didn’t do!”

Camila shook her head. “Lauren, you can’t own any property until you’re eighteen. You could be on the insurance, but otherwise, that’s it.” She closed the distance between them, pressing her front to her and wrapping her arms around her. “Trust me. My daddy’s a lawyer.”

“He could still go to jail for this! And then I’ll have to take care of Chris and Taylor because mama is who-knows-where now. My dreams of leaving town are _fucked,_ Camz,” Lauren argued.

“Lo, hey,” Camila tried again. She cupped Lauren’s cheeks and forced her to look at her. Lauren swallowed as a stray tear came down her cheek. “You’re okay. We’re okay. You don’t have to tell anyone about this.”

Lauren’s brows furrowed. “But it’s wrong if I don’t, criminal activity can’t go unnoticed-”

“I’m saying this as your girlfriend _and_ the daughter of our town’s best and only lawyer, you don’t have to say anything,” Camila reiterated.

“Camz, that’s not the right thing to do though!” Lauren protested.

Camila sighed. “Lo, sometimes you can’t always do the right thing.” She gave her a sad smile. “I know my dad would be furious if I don’t tip the police about this, but I’d be happier if I didn’t tell anyone.”

“Why… why not?” Lauren was beyond confused now.

“Because then I won’t be able to be with you. My dad will forbid me from being around your family, and I don’t think I could handle that,” she admitted quietly. “Sometimes you gotta make sacrifices for the ones that you cherish most. I’m willing to break a few laws just so I don’t lose you… and you should do the same for your dad.”

Camila’s words touched Lauren. She couldn’t believe this was the girl refusing to be with her about a week ago. Things had changed, or maybe Camila was always this wise. Lauren still felt her heartbeat quicken and her heart soar. Overwhelmed by the kindness of her girlfriend, she brought their lips together. Camila was caught off guard but immediately relaxed into her. She kissed her gently for a few more moments; the mood was kind of ruined by the shouting from the office, but Lauren managed to block it out.

She eventually pulled away and smiled at Camila. “You are so special. To me and in general. Thank you,” she said sincerely.

Camila blushed slightly and bit down on her lip. That action alone made Lauren want to melt into a little puddle. She was _so_ adorable. “You are too, babe. _So_ much so.” Camila wiped Lauren’s eyes to hide any evidence of her crying. “We should get back. We’ve been gone too long.”

Lauren nodded in agreement. All good things had to end. “Yeah, of course.” She tried to kneel down and grab the bottles that she previously dropped, but Camila stopped her. She grasped Lauren’s arms and kissed her again. Lauren reciprocated it easily and smiled widely against her girlfriend’s lips. Camila gently sucked on her lower lip and pulled away slowly, leaving Lauren confused and a little frustrated. Innocent kisses were not what Lauren was feeling at that moment.

As Lauren picked her bottles back up, Camila placed her hands on her hips and smirked. “Can we play Spoons this time? I’m good at that game, and I’m not in the mood for thinking too much.”

“Spoons involves thinking,” Lauren countered, earning a scowl from Camila. “But fine, whatever you want, _princesa._ ”

“Damn right whatever I want, I won’t have it any other way!”

* * *

“Are you baffoons serious? The pyramid is the most important part of every cheer routine and you guys can’t even get it right!” Ariana screamed into her megaphone at eleven pissed off, tired cheerleaders. “We’re going to flop at the competitions! Do you hear me? F-L-O-P! Now spell it with me… give me an ‘F’!”

Lauren nearly spat her water out at Ariana’s totally absurd captaining tactics. Who the fuck made their cheer squad spell out the word ‘flop’ when they messed up?

“I can’t believe this shit,” she said under her breath as she pulled out her pack of cigarettes. She hadn’t smoked in a while truthfully. Not since she started seeing Camila more often. There wasn’t a need to relax when the only good thing in her shitty life was enough to calm all her nerves. Lately, that wasn’t enough.

So what? Her dad’s a closeted homosexual and cheated on her mom with _Zayn Malik_ of all people. Oh, and did she mention that Jauregui & Malik’s auto shop was home to drug dealing on the side? Lauren would definitely say her life wasn’t exactly a walk in the park.

Her hands shook slightly as she reached into her jacket’s pocket for her lighter. She was really considering it; something to take the edge real quick off.

And then it occurred to her that Camila might hate the taste of cigarette smoke, so she quickly stuffed the items back in her pocket; however, Dinah would say it was hot.

Speaking of Dinah, that girl was on fire that cheer practice. She hadn’t messed up one move and lifted Ariana in the air like it was absolutely nothing. Not to mention her best friend’s ass looked amazing in a cheerleader’s skirt. She could drool all over that fine behind for days. Dinah was like a human goddess. The thought came to her that she shouldn’t be so obviously ogling Dinah when Camila was five feet away from her and could easily see her from the bleachers. But as Dinah’s best friend, it was her duty to worship her and her body, right? Because _damn_ , her legs were fine.

Lauren almost fell off the bleachers when Dinah’s big brown eyes met hers. It was like Dinah read her mind or something because the big smirk on her lips and not-so-subtle wink made Lauren’s cheeks flush. Normani noticed the interaction and glared at Dinah, tugging on her messy ponytail to get her to focus. Lauren giggled and turned her attention to her girlfriend.

Camila was fixing her ponytail while Hailee was talking amiably to her about something. She seemed disinterested in the conversation. Her head bobbed to show that she was listening, but her gaze was anywhere but the girl talking to her.

“You know what!? I’m sick of you, wannabes! We’re taking a ten-minute break starting now!” Ariana shouted into the megaphone.

“Thank the Lord!” Dinah cried in relief.

Ariana screamed an insult that sounded a lot like “you assmoose!” and stormed off.

Lauren smiled when Normani pulled her phone out and grinned like a kid on Christmas. It was nice to see her finally happy once again. She deserved it. Normani had so much crap going on in her life from her mother to Ally that she definitely needed a break.

Dinah and Camila were both making their way up the bleachers to Lauren’s location. Camila was gesturing wildly with her hands and talking quickly while Dinah laughed along with her. Lauren couldn’t help but feel proud of her girls getting along so well. That was the only thing that mattered to Lauren.

“Hey, ba- I mean Camz,” Lauren greeted quickly as she patted the seat next to her. Camila smiled at her reassuringly and plopped down next to her.

Lauren turned back to Dinah and smirked. “Dinah Pain.”

“Lauser Whoregui,” she shot back.

“Ouch, that really hurt calling the virgin a whore.”

Dinah shrugged and sat on the other side of Lauren. “It made the most sense based on pronunciation only.” She slung an arm around Lauren’s shoulder. “But guaranteed once we get out of here, you’ll be scoring all the masses left and right,” she said proudly.

Lauren heard Camila exhale uncomfortably and Lauren wanted to reach over and squeeze her hand to assure her that it was all bullshit. She wouldn’t actually do that. But Dinah planted a big, sloppy kiss on her cheek that made Lauren’s eyes widen in panic. She looked at Camila nervously. The look in her girlfriend’s eyes made Lauren’s heartbeat quicken. _It isn’t what it looks like,_ she wanted to tell her. _Please understand, Camz._

“You guys are so cute,” Camila noted with a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes.

Dinah’s brows furrowed. “We’re not dating…” she said dismissively. She barely glanced at Lauren through her eyelashes.

“Oh, I _know_ that,” Camila replied harshly. Her tone was a little bitchy, prideful almost. Dinah raised a brow. “I just think you’re very close for best friends. It’s cute.”

Lauren shot Camila a confused glare. Camila only shrugged and smiled widely at her. “How did you guys meet?”

“Oh!” Dinah squealed and lightly hit Lauren’s shoulder. “Do you wanna you tell her? Or should I?”

Lauren chuckled. “Go ahead. Don’t make it too dramatic though.”

“Right, okay… I’m pretty sure you know that I skipped the first grade. I’m sixteen, not seventeen. We were in the same kindergarten class at Graves Elementary,” Dinah informed her.

Camila gasped. ‘Wait! How do I not remember this?”

“I’m surprised that you don’t. I was the one that accidentally ripped your favorite Barbie doll’s head off…” Dinah mumbled awkwardly.

“YOU WERE THE ONE THAT KILLED PENELOPE!?”

Lauren roared with laughter. Dinah nodded embarrassedly and hid behind Lauren as Camila huffed loudly, mumbling something about how she cried for days after that.

After Lauren’s laughter died down, Dinah continued her story. “I was a smart kid. I could do addition and subtraction easily, and I was already mastering multiplication and division. My reading level was a lot better than everyone my age. I was reading those _The Secrets of Droon_ books without too much trouble. Miss Gilbert thought I was better off moving onto second grade next year.” Dinah pointed at Lauren and grinned. “And thank _God_ , I did. I walked into class the first day of second grade at six years old totally terrified. All these big kids kept staring at me like I was a fucking alien. I grabbed the first desk I could find and prayed that nobody stupid would sit next to me. My goal was to hide from everyone and stick to friends my age on the playground.”

Camila nodded along, still visibly upset over her damn Barbie doll.

“That’s when dickwad Austin Mahone came into class and walks up to this chick with messy brown hair and green eyes-”

“Fun fact: I used to date him,” Camila interrupted. Dinah and Lauren exchanged amused looks. “Literally the worst month of my life. Ugh.”

“God damn, Mila,” Dinah chuckled. “So he goes up to her and is like ‘It’s the second grade and you said that’s when I could ask you out; so will you be my girlfriend?’ That girl gave him this total ‘are you kidding me’ look and said no. Austin got _mad_ pissed after that. He started calling her names. I don’t remember what they were exactly, but they were definitely hurtful playground insults. This girl looks like she’s about to cry, and so I’m like ‘screw this’. I march right up to that dick that’s older than me and punch him.”

Camila gasped in shock. “You didn’t!”

Dinah winked at her. “I totally did, Mila. Blood was spewing out _everywhere_. He started crying like a little bitch. Miss Gardner came in at just the wrong time. And she was pissed… she started yelling at me… I was scared shitless. I totally thought I was gonna get suspended. But this green-eyed girl quickly stands up and tells Miss Gardner that she made me do it. I was so confused.”

“Long story short, we got sent to the principal’s office,” Lauren said.

Dinah glared at Lauren interrupting her. “I’m trying to make it as dramatic as possible, dick.”

“Whatever,” she huffed. “So we’re sent to the principal’s office. I’m like half-scared they’ll call my mom. My mom’s psycho, man. We sit there in silence and then I ask her why she stood up for me. She just smiled and said ‘Good people don’t deserve to be punished’. I was totally shook. This girl was like crazy smart.”

Lauren smiled. “And don’t forget what you said next…”

Dinah grinned right back at her. “I’d punch someone for you again if I had to.”

“And the rest?”

“Is history.”

“Two friends formed by sticking up for each other. I’m pretty sure it was God’s plan to bring us together,” Dinah continued. She winked at Lauren. “Never one without the other, right?”

Lauren pretended to look indifferent, but she was really flattered by the way Dinah seemed to regard her so highly. She loved her best friend truly. There was nothing that she did that could make Lauren ever want to replace her. “Tragically, that’s the case,” she teased and practically grinned when Dinah gasped in mock-offense. Both of them knew they were kidding.

The corner of Camila’s mouth quirked up. “Ten years, that’s impressive,” she said. “Normani and I only became friends in junior high. All the friends I used to have at that age are… not my friends anymore.”

“You used to hang out with the basketball team girls, right?” Dinah asked. “Well, before they joined the team.”

Camila’s expression hardened. Lauren figured that it was probably a sore subject for her. She nodded slowly. “I did for a while.” She paused and inhaled. “Then it became about status and reputation for them. I had it, but I didn’t agree with their opinions of the trailer trash.” With that remark, she looked at Lauren apologetically.

Lauren gave her girlfriend a reassuring smile. “If you’re worried that I’m going to get offended by being called trailer trash, I won’t,” she informed her. “I wear that badge with pride. And living in a trailer isn’t so bad!”

“She’s lying,” Dinah blurted out. “She has to share a room with her sister and her twin bed is a lot less comfortable than it looks.”

“Shut up, you live in a barn!”

“A nicely _furnished_ barn,” she corrected her.

Camila squeezed Lauren’s shoulder, catching Lauren by surprise. “I’d love to see your place. Maybe you can take me there after practice?”

Camila Cabello in _her_ trailer, that didn’t sound like a bad idea at all. Even better? Camila Cabello in _her_ bedroom, assuming that Taylor wouldn’t be home. She had never brought any romantic partner home before. It was a little daunting in her opinion, but she felt confident enough to make Camila feel at home. “It’s a date,” she replied. Camila’s eyebrow shot upwards. “I mean, it’s a plan,” Lauren corrected herself.

Dinah’s nostrils flared. “Way to make me feel included.” She flipped her hair dramatically in a typical Dinah fashion. “I’ll go hang out with Mani then. We’ll watch _Life Is But a Dream_ and cry because Beyonce owns our fucking asses. And if we still have time, we’ll pop in _Dreamgirls_ and cry over that too.” Lauren gave her an odd look which Dinah seemed to notice. “I cannot live without Beyonce. Fact: I need her more than I need air and Jesus,” she defended herself.

“Where are you gonna watch it? Mani’s trailer has the worst TV I’ve ever seen,” Camila said.

Lauren’s jaw dropped. “You know about Mani?”

Camila nodded. “Of course! I got a little suspicious when she said her family was from the Silver Mine. I would know if a Kordei family lived there. I did some digging through my daddy’s files and found that no one in Silver was named Kordei.” She paused for dramatic effect. “But there _was_ someone named Normani Kordei Hamilton. Clever girl, using her middle name as her last name to hide her connection to her not-at-all rich family.”

“Don’t tell me you’re blackmailing her with this, Nancy Drew,” Dinah said warily.

“Oh, God, no!” Camila quickly rushed out. “I would never do that to her. I’m helping her maintain that image. Ariana doesn’t suspect a thing.”

“But my ma does,” Dinah muttered loud enough for Lauren to hear.

Lauren smiled reassuringly at Dinah and then reached over to subtly grab Camila’s hand. Her girlfriend’s face immediately lit up and she intertwined their fingers. This was all Lauren wanted in life - her two favorite girls getting along so well. With Dinah’s arm around her shoulder and Camila’s hand in hers, Lauren felt like she could take on anything.

The trio sat in a comfortable silence. Several cheerleaders had already come back from their bathroom break and were chatting away or practicing moves. Normani was standing at the other side of the field still on the phone.

Dinah shifted uncomfortably and then rested her head on Lauren’s shoulder. Lauren’s heartbeat quickened as she smiled down at her. Camila discreetly drew patterns on the palm of her hand with her thumb.

It was moments like these that Lauren was grateful for the people around her.

“Camila! Dinah!” Ariana screamed. “Get down here _now._ Break’s over.”

Lauren held her hand that wasn’t holding Camila’s up and flipped Ariana off. Dinah cackled and Camila snorted as Ariana return the same rude gesture.

“You guys should get back,” Lauren told them.

“And deal with Ariana’s bullshit when we’re both fine up here with you?” Dinah questioned.

“Not a c-h-a-n-c-e,” Camila spelled out.

“I better get compensated if I get attacked by the rejected goomba bride.”

* * *

“So this is your bedroom?” Camila asked, gesturing to the tiny room that could barely fit two twin beds and two nightstands. Taylor’s half of the room was cluttered and cutouts of female athletes were plastered on the walls. Lauren’s side was much more organized. Neat piles of books were at the end of her bed. Several charcoal drawings that Lauren made were on the walls too. It was not very impressive at all.

Lauren nodded. “Casa de Lauren. Feel free to leave a good review on TripAdvisor.”

Camila chuckled and took a few more steps into the room. “Well, it’s very cozy.” She ran her fingers up and down the white covers of Lauren’s bed. “But where do you keep all of your clothes?”

“Under the bed.”

Camila knelt down and pulled a large tub out from under her bed. The first thing she saw was maroon lace panties. Her jaw dropped and her cheeks burned with embarrassment as she shoved the tub back under the bed. “Oh my God. That’s something I’ll never unsee.”

Lauren smirked. “Hm… Really, Camzi? Thinking about me in just those panties?” she purred. “I bet you’d love to see me in them.”

“I-” Camila unintentionally licked her lips. “Oh my _God,_ Lauren.”

“That just proves you want me in them,” Lauren pointed out.

“Do you have to make me this flustered all the time?” Camila stammered as she clenched her fists.

Lauren shrugged. “You always look cute when you’re flustered, babe. It’s also way too entertaining for me to _not_ to get you all embarrassed.”

“Lauuureeennn,” Camila whined as she flopped back onto Lauren’s bed.

“Whaat?” Lauren whined in reply as she took a seat at the foot of the bed. She didn’t even bother to ask as she moved Camila’s feet into her lap. Camila raised a brow in surprise at her actions, but Lauren sent her a cheesy grin as her justification.

Camila pouted and wiggled her toes. “You can’t be a dick and then be a cutie. That’s not fair.”

“Aw, baby…” Lauren cooed.

Her girlfriend sighed loudly and placed a hand on her chest. “Oh… did I ever tell you that I love it when you call me pet names?” Lauren shook her head in reply. Camila sat up on the bed, not taking her feet away from Lauren’s lap. “Oh my goodness, it makes my heart go crazy. I feel like it’s gonna burst, Lo.” To prove her point she grabbed one of Lauren’s hands and placed it on her chest. Sure enough, Camila’s heart was beating rapidly like a drum beat at an allegro tempo.

Lauren gave her a lopsided grin. “I’m a sucker for pet names too,” she admitted. “I’ve always wanted to be someone’s babygirl.”

“Mmm,” Camila hummed. “I could call you that.”

“Princess, too,” Lauren muttered.

Camila’s eyes sparkled with amusement. “Really? I like these pet names you’re suggesting.”

Lauren found herself gravitating towards Camila. She gently moved her girlfriend’s legs off of her lap and crawled over to her. While Camila leaned against the headboard, Lauren was sitting right in front of her almost like an obedient puppy waiting for orders.

“But I cross the line at daddy.”

Lauren snorted. “I find that hard to believe. Because I have a strong suspicion that you have a daddy kink.” She grinned at Camila’s cheeks heating up. “Don’t worry, I admit to having one too.”

“Okay, maybe,” Camila mumbled. “I just call my own dad daddy, so that’d just be weird.” She chuckled nervously. “Imagine family dinners though and you ask your dad for the salt only for your _girlfriend_ to reach for it too.”

“Well, it’s not like we’re going to go around calling each other daddy, right?” Lauren asked.

“I don’t know… are we, daddy?” Camila responded with a sly grin.

Lauren felt her core throb suddenly. Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. “I- oh, fuck…”

“ _Somebody_ likes to be called daddy…” Camila taunted. “Isn’t that right, babygirl?”

Lauren surprised herself when she let out a whine. “Oh, God,” she squeaked. Camila smirked at her. “I can’t be both. I’m either daddy or babygirl,” she mumbled. “Jesus Christ, Camz. What happened to no sex until we’re ready?”

“This is all hypothetical, Lolo,” Camila assured her as she brought her hand up to cup Lauren’s cheek. “If- I mean - _when_ we ever get to that point, I guess we’ll have to switch off between who’s the daddy and who’s her babygirl.”

“Holy fucking shit,” Lauren moaned. It was hard to believe that such filthy words could come out of her innocent girlfriend’s mouth. She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t turned on by it. It took all the self-control she had to not start moving her hips against the bed to release the tension being built up in her core. “God, Camz, just fucking kiss me.”

She didn’t even have to tell Camila twice. Camila brought their lips together roughly and slid her tongue into Lauren’s mouth without warning. Lauren practically moaned when her girlfriend’s tongue explored her and left her breathless. Her hands wandered to Camila’s waist and squeezed her hips. It was satisfying when her girlfriend’s hips bucked in response. She took control of the kiss, fighting off Camila’s tongue with her own in a battle for dominance. Lauren pushed Camila back further against the bed.

Camila moans were muffled by Lauren’s lips as she sucked on her lower lip. Also, bless Camila’s cheerleading uniform for being so revealing because that short skirt was fucking amazing. Lauren didn’t even notice the fact that she slipped her knee between Camila’s thighs and the cheerleader was clenching around it. Lauren moaned into Camila’s mouth and Camila broke away abruptly.

“Holy shit…” Lauren gasped.

Camila gave her a nervous look. She glanced from Lauren’s thigh to her face and bit her lip. “Is this okay?”

Lauren nodded. “Yeah, it is.” She smiled at her assuringly. “What about you? Are you okay with this?”

“Totally, yeah,” she said quickly. Camila reached over and squeezed her hand.

Lauren brought their lips together once again. Camila reciprocated the kiss and gripped onto the lapels of Lauren’s leather jacket. Lauren wiggled her arms to allow Camila to slip her jacket off her girlfriend’s arms so she was left in just her tank top and jeans.

They kissed some more. Tongues clashed; lips smacked; grunts and moans escaped each other’s lips. Lauren had never enjoyed kissing this much. Considering the lack of kissing experience she had from before, Lauren was surprised at how good she was at kissing at Camila. And judging by her girlfriend’s sighs of pleasure, she believed she was doing a good job.

Camila broke their kiss and beamed. “God, baby, you’re so good at this.”

“Correction: _we’re_ both good at this,” Lauren replied with a giggle.

Her girlfriend kissed her nose and then moved to latch her lips to Lauren’s jaw. She gasped suddenly at her. Camila began to pepper kisses down her throat. Neck kisses were a huge turn on for Lauren, and she didn’t even know about it until that moment.

Camila nipped and sucked at her neck like it was no tomorrow. “Holy shit, Camz,” she moaned. “When did you - ah - get good at neck kissing?”

“Natural talent?” Camila mumbled against her collarbone before pressing an open mouth kiss there.

“Gotta be more than that,” Lauren grunted.

Camila nipped the flesh on her pulse point causing Lauren to moan and accidentally shift her knee so it rubbed against Camila’s center. Her girlfriend pulled away abruptly and gasped. “Ho-ly sh-” she moaned.

“I’m sorry,” Lauren blurted out in embarrassment. She ran a hand through her hair nervously. “I didn’t mean to-”

“Lo,” Camila interrupted her. “It’s fine.” She gave her a reassuring smile. “I was just surprised. It felt… good though.” Her tone was shaky. Lauren got the vibe that she was a little embarrassed to admit it.

“Look, if it’s too much, we can just stop right now,” Lauren suggested. Camila tilted her head to the side. “I m-mean,” she stammered. “I wanna make sure we’re both comfortable with things before we-”

Camila laughed softly. “Lauren. We’re both virgins. Our first time is going to be anything but comfortable,” she pointed out.

Lauren bit the inside of her cheek. “Right… but you know…”

“Let’s not rush things, okay? We don’t need to get all sexual and shit even though we’re both hot as heck. We can take things at our own pace.”

Camila was right. Lauren was just a horny bastard that didn’t know any better, but man did she love tits. She bet she’d love eating out Camila too- _okay, Lauren. Time to shut the fuck up._

“You’re right. Let’s just enjoy each other’s company,” Lauren agreed as she removed her leg from Camila’s thighs. She smiled widely at her and crawled into the space between her and the wall. Lauren pressed a kiss to Camila’s cheek and wrapped an arm around her waist.

Camila hummed in approval and pressed her back to Lauren’s front. “And if we move too fast, the worse it’ll feel for both of us. We won’t be telling anyone anytime soon. No one can know that I’m into you.”

Lauren’s face fell slightly at that. Nothing good in life was flawless. The big flaw in their relationship? Camila was still too adamant about denying them. She understood because Camila always made up for it.

Maybe Dinah was right, maybe Lauren did deserve better.

Camila yawned softly and turned again so she was burying her face in the crook of Lauren’s neck. Her heartbeat quickened and she placed a feather-light kiss on the top of her head.

But she didn’t think anyone could make her feel half of what Camila did.


	9. nine: i already fought for you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> once again, sexual content warning!

“Suddenly I’m getting freshman year flashbacks,” Normani said as she brought a paper bag with something brown and rough inside. She plopped it in the small tray that Lauren, Dinah, and Ally were crowding over. Because they were doing a “big” lab, the teacher decided to combine both of his science classes. Originally it was just Lauren, Normani, Louis, and Harry in that class, but the second class brought in Dinah, Ally, Niall, and Camila. Camila was rushed away from Lauren by Ariana before she could even ask Lauren if they wanted to work together.

Normani had a big grin on her face when she beckoned Ally and Dinah over to their lab table. Ally returned the smile and took the seat next to her. It intrigued Lauren, and apparently, it intrigued Dinah too because she slid into the seat next to Lauren and whispered, “are they fucking again?” Lauren merely scowled at her and motioned for her to shut her mouth.

Ally pursed her lips as her forehead crinkled. “Oh, please don’t tell me that’s what I think it is.”

Normani began unwrapping the package at a very slow speed. Lauren bit her lip in anticipation. And then she saw it, a dead pig. Oh, _hell_ no.

“Nope, nope, nope, nope,” Dinah rushed out, holding her hands up in disgust. “I am _not_ dissecting a pig again.”

“Mr. Apostle!” Lauren shouted. Her teacher turned around and gave Lauren an expectant look. “Are we seriously dissecting a pig again?”

He nodded. “It’s a good review for you guys.”

“That’s code word for ‘I have no plans for this class’,” Dinah muttered to Lauren in an annoyed aside.

“I think you’d find this easy,” Mr. Apostle continued. “You do have Dinah in your group. She works with animals all the time, isn’t that right?”

Dinah narrowed her eyes at her teacher. “My family runs a dairy farm, not a slaughterhouse,” she deadpanned. Lauren stifled her laugh. “And if you remember correctly I cried like a little bitch when we had to do it three years ago.”

A few people snickered at that. It was true; Dinah did flip out when they had to do it as freshmen. Lauren was the one who had to do all the work while Dinah cried over ‘Lil Miss Fattylicious’ being ripped apart.

“Language!” he scolded her.

“ _J'ai pleuré comme une petite chienne,_ ” Dinah replied.

Normani groaned loudly and facepalmed. It didn’t take a genius to tell that she just said the same thing in French. Or maybe Lauren was just so good at Spanish she understood a little bit of French because of the similar languages. “That is the last time I ever teach Dinah anything in French.”

“You taught Dinah how to say _that_ in French!?” Ally hissed. “Normani!”

She shrugged her shoulders guiltily. “She offered me five bucks to broaden her vocabulary.” A gasp escaped a horrified Ally. Normani bowed her head in shame.

“And broadened it was,” Dinah sang amusedly.

Ally scowled. “Y’all better hope and pray Jesus will forgive your sins.” She pulled the bag fully off of the pig and threw it to the side. “I’m sorry for the interruption, Mr. Apostle. It won’t happen again.” One of the many perks of being good friends with the student council president was that Lauren and her friends could get away with just about anything. God bless Ally and her honeyed words; she’d be a damn good politician. Ally turned back to the group. “Right… dissecting the pig. We gotta move the limbs, right?”

“No, cut the jaw,” Lauren corrected her. “That’s the easiest job.”

“Girl, I call that then,” Normani said quickly as she grabbed the scissors and began snipping away at the pig’s mouth.

Lauren really didn’t want to go into too much detail about it because it was so disgusting. She wasn’t usually squeamish, but opening up a dead, feral pig was something that made her stomach grumble in a not-so-pleasant way. Other groups were having just as much trouble too. Harry, Niall, and Louis were arguing over who should open the pig. Camila, Ariana, and Hailee were loudly freaking out as Shawn carelessly made incisions in the pig.

And unfortunately for her, Lauren was the one who had to do all the work for her group. Ally claimed that it was against her beliefs to do this. Normani claimed that she had already done her part. And Dinah? Dinah was what she always was - a useless lesbian.

“Oh, God,” Lauren moaned as the disgusting smell of the fluid filled her nostrils. “We don’t have money to keep the marching band, but we have money for _these_? That ain’t right.”

“Trust me. We’re making a lot more stupid decisions with the budget than you think,” Ally muttered.

Normani gagged. “ _Merde._ What are we supposed to be doing?” She glanced over at Dinah who had her face in their worksheet papers. The cheerleader groaned loudly and hit the back of Dinah’s head. The blonde shot up in shock. “Dinah, what the hell are you doing?”

“Smelling the only thing that doesn’t smell like death and suffering,” Dinah said as she pinched her nose. “Betsy’s manure smells better than this, ugh…”

“Who’s Betsy?” Normani’s forehead creased.

“One of the cows. I think she has diarrhea, lowkey.”

Ally winced. “Cow diarrhea, oh my-”

“OH. MY GOD! SHAWN GET THAT THING AWAY FROM ME!” Ariana screamed.

Lauren turned her head to find Shawn holding up an opened up pig and shoving it in Ariana’s face. She covered her mouth to stop herself from laughing. The cheerleader’s face was priceless. The poor girl looked like she stepped foot in the town’s trailer park. Lauren imagined that she’d look just as horrified in trailer trash central.

“Aww, Ari! This wittle piggy just wants some love,” Shawn cooed as he brought the pig up to Ariana’s face. She squirmed and pushed him away.

“Ugh! Blocked and unfollowed.”

Hailee rolled her eyes. “Guys, can we _please_ get back to work?” No one responded to her. She tapped Camila’s shoulder. “Mila?”

“Hm?” Camila shot up from her work. Lauren hid the adoring smile she wanted to send her way. “Oh, uh, I already finished my sheet.”

Shawn and Ariana stopped their bickering. “Great, babe!” Shawn grinned. Lauren’s jaw clenched at the pet name. _Oh, hell no._ “Can I see it?”

Camila shrugged. “Yeah, okay…” She slid her completed worksheet across the table.

Shawn grinned and leaned in-

 _Oh, he better fucking don’t_ , Lauren thought to herself.

He did.

Lauren could only watch as Shawn Mendes kissed Camila Cabello,  _her_ girlfriend. Shawn Mendes just fucking kissed her _girlfriend_ and she didn’t do anything at all to stop it. Lauren’s eyes burned with anger. She forced herself to look away from them and to her three worried friends. Lauren’s breathing began to pick up. Her chest felt tight; her vision was blurry.

“Mendes, what did I tell you about public displays of affection?” Mr. Apostle yelled.

“Lauren?” Dinah asked shakily, placing her hand on her shoulder. Lauren didn’t even bother to try and shake her off. It wasn’t her place to act jealous, but actually, it was. Camila said nothing about continuing whatever _thing_ she had with Shawn. That was a low blow.

Lauren’s eyes began to glisten. Ally had a concerned look on her features. Normani looked at her intently. And with all the shit that had been happening with her dad, this one was just the cherry on top of the cake of her messed up life.

Dinah squeezed her shoulder. “Lauren, hey…” she tried again. “You’re fine. You’re fine-”

“I’m not,” Lauren croaked. “I need to leave.”

Dinah nodded. She understood. Dinah _always_ understood. “Mr. Apostle? Can Lauren and I go to the bathroom?”

“Why…?” Mr. Apostle said incredulously.

She pulled Lauren to the door. “Lady troubles,” she blurted out. “It’ll be a bit, bye!” Lauren didn’t have much time to react before Dinah was dragging her through the empty halls. Dinah’s old sneakers echoed loudly through the halls as she marched them to the nearest ladies bathroom. Lauren was barely holding it together as Dinah, sweet and loving Dinah, was being the best friend that she could and taking her away when she saw she was upset.

She kicked open the door to the bathroom and ushered Lauren inside. As the door slammed shut, Lauren burst into tears.

“Oh, fuck,” Dinah mumbled. She wasted no time in wrapping her arms around Lauren and holding her close to her chest. “Shh, it’s okay. It’s okay. I got you.” Lauren sobbed into Dinah’s shoulder, no doubt wetting Dinah’s cream sweater, but she was past the point of caring.

Dinah was always a forceful person. She always demanded that people be straight with her and tell her everything. Not with Lauren, she was always kind, gentle, and patient with her.

“I’m assuming you’re having a serious crisis right now,” Dinah said. She cleared her throat awkwardly. “I didn’t mean it like _that._ But that was some serious acting if you were trying to ditch class.”

“No, it’s not,” Lauren replied with a shaky laugh. “It’s Camz.”

A loud, exasperated sigh. “I should be surprised. What’s new in the Camren chronicles?”

“We’re a thing now… like officially,” Lauren muttered.

Dinah gasped. “What!? Since when?”

“Football game, two or three Fridays ago, I can’t remember.”

“That’s why Camila missed the halftime show, hmph,” Dinah noted. “Y’all were getting freaky.”

Lauren’s cheeks flushed. “Not _exactly._ But she basically admitted she was sorry for everything with Shawn. We’ve been going steady since then… behind closed doors.” She lifted her head from Dinah’s chest. “I know you probably ain’t so thrilled about it, but she makes me happy.”

Dinah raised a brow. “Does she? Then why the fuck you cryin’?”

“Shawn kissed her. Didn’t you see?”

“Oh. Yeah. Are you guys in an open relationship?”

Lauren scoffed at the thought of Camila and her being in an open relationship. She didn’t know if it was possible to even share Camila with anyone. If she were, Shawn Mendes would not be someone she would pick. “No, but we never talked about Shawn… I just assumed that they were over when we became a thing…”

Dinah sighed. “There’s your problem, Lauser. You made an assumption. You’re probably getting upset for no reason. She probably didn’t know-”

“Are you seriously taking her side!?”

“No. I’mma still kick her ass for making you cry,” Dinah grumbled. “Talk to her, fool. Communication is key.”

Lauren narrowed her eyes. “Technically she cheated on me.”

“Technically you’re fucking insane. Lauren, I ain’t supposed to be the rational one here,” she reminded her. Lauren giggled. “I’m serious, Laur. Go talk to her. And if things go to shit, let me know. I’ll kick her ass double time.”

Lauren couldn’t stop herself from grinning. She kissed Dinah’s cheek. “You know what, Dinah? You’re the best thing to have ever happened to me. Thanks for being my person.” Dinah exhaled softly and smiled at her. Slowly she brought her hand up to a few of Lauren’s stray locks and brushed them behind her ear. Lauren bit the inside of her cheek and glanced up at her.

Brown eyes stared into green, and Lauren’s heart started beating rapidly. “No, thank you,” Dinah said breathlessly, “for being _my_ person, Lauren.”

“You’re the only motherfucker in this town who can handle me,” Lauren told her truthfully.

Dinah’s smile turned into a grin. “And I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

* * *

“Lauren? Lauren! Hey! Wait up!”

Lauren groaned. School had just ended, couldn’t Camila save the inevitable girlfriend talk for later? She ignored the cheerleader calling her name and continued marching to her truck.

“Lauren!”

 _Ugh. Not in the mood,_ Lauren thought. She pulled her keys out of her backpack and slipped her sunglasses on. She didn’t even see Camila come up behind her and grab her arm. For a short girl like her, she really had a strong grip. Lauren sighed heavily and turned around to face her. “Yes?”

“Were you seriously going to leave school without me?” Camila huffed. “I waited for years by your locker!” Lauren just shrugged. She was going completely against Dinah’s advice, but man, she was mad pissed. Screw that crap. Camila narrowed her eyes at Lauren’s indifference. “We have a _date_ this afternoon.”

Lauren chuckled dryly at her. “Oh? I thought you’d rather spend it sucking face with _Mendes_.”

Camila’s face fell. A look of guilt spread across her features. “Laur, you know that wasn’t what it looked like-” She stopped herself and bit her lip. “You _know_ how I feel about you.”

She dramatically dipped her sunglasses so they rested on the bridge of her nose. “So why’d you let him kiss you then?” she growled. “You’re my girlfriend for fuck’s sake, and I’m not sharing you with Huevo Boy.”

“Huevo Boy?”

Lauren rolled her eyes. “Shut up. He looks like an egg, and Austin looks like a Dorito. Dorito Boy and Huevo Boy. Two boys that need their balls chopped-”

“Lauren!” Camila hissed. “You’re getting off topic.” Lauren’s mouth twitched. “You’re not sharing me with anyone! I’m yours,” she argued with a pleading look on her features. “You have to understand that, baby. I don’t want anything to do with him. I just need to keep a straight image.”

“Straight image!?” Lauren repeated. “There are other ways to do that besides kissing boys and giving them mixed signals. I bet you haven’t even tried to get his filthy little hands away-”

“No! You have _no_ right to say that,” she fired back. “You don’t get it, do you? I’ve barely come to terms with my sexuality. Even if I have, I have to stay in the closet. Do you know what my daddy will do when he finds out I’m… you know...? He’s gonna kick me out! I can’t do that. My little sister needs me.”

“Do you even care about my feelings?”

Camila scowled. “I thought you wanted to stay in the closet for the same reason.”

“Oh, haven’t you heard? My dad’s a big homo and I don’t think he gives two shits about his daughter when he’s being blackmailed,” Lauren snarked. “I’m only in the closet because I don’t feel the need to tell people my sexuality. They probably already suspect shit. If I don’t confirm it then I ain’t got any issues with it.” She sighed sadly. “I’m okay with keeping our relationship a secret, Camila. Is it too much to ask you not to kiss other boys? In front of me and in general?”

“I can’t be who you want me to be, Lauren,” Camila responded. “But I’m trying. Isn’t that enough?”

Lauren didn’t know how to respond. She pulled her arm out of Camila’s grip and narrowed her eyes. “Are you really trying though? Get rid of Shawn if you mean it.”

“It’s not that easy-”

“Why? Cause you’re a coward?”

Camila didn’t answer. She only pursed her lips and bowed her head. It was then Lauren realized that she fucked up. Calling Camila a coward again, really? Lauren’s eyes widened at her reaction. “Wait, Camz-”

“I should go,” Camila mumbled. Before Lauren could even open her mouth to stop her, Camila had already pushed past her and was marching away. Lauren wasted no time in running after her.

She grabbed Camila’s hand and spun her around. “Camz, I’m sorry. I’m being hard on you, I know. I shouldn’t have called you a coward, and I don’t mean it. Please understand that,” she pleaded. Camila’s eyes softened. “I’m just so crazy insecure because you’re this super hot cheerleader that all the guys want. I’m impatient, stubborn, and clingy-”

“Lo, it’s okay,” she interrupted her. Lauren gawked at her. “I should be apologizing too. I really didn’t mean to hurt you. If it makes you feel better, I’ll muster up the courage to tell Shawn to stop ‘courting’ me or whatever.” She took a step closer to Lauren and cupped her cheeks. “Your feelings are valid, baby. We’re a partnership, right? If you’re ever uncomfortable with things, talk to me.”

Lauren brought her free hand up to hold the one on her left cheek. “The same can be said for you. I care about you so much that it’s scary. I don’t ever want to lose you.” She smiled shyly at Camila. “And it’d make me feel a thousand times better if you get Huevo Boy to leave you alone. You don’t have a need to make me jealous anymore,” she admitted.

Camila nodded eagerly. “That can be done. I’ll keep trying, Lo. I don’t want to make you upset. This is my internal battle, not yours.” She stroked Lauren’s cheek comfortingly and gave her an adoring look. “If it weren’t for the fact we were on school property, I’d be kissing you senseless,” she said.

“Mmm, I bet you could do that in my truck,” Lauren suggested.

“Not on school grounds! And I’m not kissing you while you’re driving.”

“You’re no fun,” Lauren whined.

Camila rolled her eyes at her. “Trust me, I’m very fun. I’d just prefer not to die on this lovely Tuesday evening.”

“You’re more likely to die of heat exhaustion than me being a reckless driver,” Lauren sassed. “Even so, you were the one who broke down your own car.”

Camila gasped. “That wasn’t my fault, Lo! You know that!” Her eyes widened. “Come to think of it… I still have to take my car in to your dad. I’ve been relying on you, Mani and Ari to get me around.”

Lauren chuckled. “I’d prefer you take it to Ashley. She’s way better at fixing cars than my dad,” she informed her. “She’s a little kooky, but she knows what she’s doing.”

“How much for her services?”

“A tit squeeze and a chocolate bar.”

“Oh…”

She grinned at Camila and intertwined their fingers. “Let’s get out of here, okay? We’re fifteen minutes from where we’re supposed to go. I’m in the mood for blasting Cyndi Lauper at full volume.”

“I’m so down for that,” she replied, squeezing Lauren’s hands quickly. There were plenty of kids around them, but none of them were looking at the two girls that seemed way more than friendly with each other. Being careful wasn’t easy with Camila - that’s what she decided. Both of them were way too wrapped up in each other.

Lauren led Camila to her truck and opened the passenger door. Her girlfriend blew her a subtle kiss and took a seat. Lauren went around and got in the driver’s seat. Camila reached over to fix Lauren’s sunglasses while Lauren started the vehicle.

Camila was already tearing through Lauren’s music collection, eventually pulling out _She’s So Unusual_ and putting in the Side A of the CD. Her girlfriend was practically glowing with excitement. The intro to “Money Changes Everything” blasted through the speakers. Lauren squealed with excitement as she brought her hand to the volume dial and turned it up. “Fuck, this is one of my favorites.”

“Mine, too!” Camila shouted over the music. “Bring back the 80s, man! Bring back the 80s.”

 _“I said, ‘I’m sorry, baby, I’m leaving you tonight,”_ Lauren sang along to her queen. She tapped the top of the steering wheel to the beat as the truck sped down the highway. _“‘I found someone new, he’s waiting in the car outside.’”_

 _“‘Ah, honey, how could you do it?’”_ Camila came in with her raspy, somewhat whiny vocals. She was perfectly emulating Cyndi, and _damn,_ it was kind of hot. _“‘We swore each other everlasting love.’”_

Lauren grinned. _“I said, ‘well yeah, I know, but when we did there was one thing we weren’t thinking of and that’s money.’”_

Camila cheered and joined in with Lauren for the chorus.

_“Money changes everything._

_I said money, money changes everything._

_We think we know what we’re doing._

_That don’t mean a thing._

_It’s all in the past now._

_Money changes everything.”_

“Holy shit, you can actually carry a tune. Damn, Camz!” Lauren said amusedly. She held her hand up for her to high-five. Camila smacked her hand proudly. Both girls burst out into giggles until a loud truck horn was heard. “Oh, sh-”

She was slowly drifting into oncoming traffic. The color drained from Lauren’s face as she swerved the car out of the way of an oncoming semi-truck. She exhaled in relief. “That was close,” she mumbled.

“Not a reckless driver, my butt,” Camila taunted.

Lauren pouted. “I was getting too into it.”

“Whatever, Lolo, be careless around your girlfriend! See if I care!” Camila huffed. “I deserve more than that!”

Lauren chuckled at Camila’s antics and flicked her forehead with her fingers. Camila scowled and shifted away from her.

“Get over it, Camz. Guaranteed you’ll be all over me in the next hour.” Lauren wiggled her brows amusedly.

“Bet,” she spat.

* * *

Camila _was_ , in fact, all over Lauren within an hour.

Not in a sexual way, no, but Camila was constantly touching her or kissing her whenever she had the chance to. It was a complete 180 from her previous behavior with Shawn. Lauren supposed she really was trying to compensate for what happened earlier that day. And for that, she was beyond grateful.

Lauren’s cute date idea was to try and fix everything that was wrong with the first date. The first stop was the supermarket in Webster. Camila and Lauren both rushed inside and stocked up on as many snacks and cola as they could hold. Unfortunately (or fortunately), Camila refused to let Lauren pay for the snacks again. Lauren couldn’t help but feel guilty when the total turned out to be $33. She silently promised herself that she’d make up for it by kissing her exactly thirty-three times.

After that they had a brief dinner at the local pizza parlor and ice cream shop; where to Lauren’s horror, she found that Camila was a fan of pineapple on pizza. Camila had a valid argument though. “Sometimes you need some sweetness to balance things out, Lolo,” was a good point.

Lauren then drove them to the old farm, the place where Lauren took Camila to see the stars late at night. While the sun was setting, Lauren laid out some blankets in the back of her truck like last time. She downloaded season three of _Glee_ on her phone that they could binge watch together. Sixteen hours of comedy trash and the occasional lesbians - it was the perfect way to spend a date. Tragically, it was a school night.

“Why does Quinn look like a stoner? This is the girl that Ariana thinks is a cheerleading icon!” Camila pointed at the pink-haired Quinn Fabray on Lauren’s screen.

“Maybe she _is_ a stoner,” Lauren gasped.

Camila scoffed. “That girl’s way too hyper-aggressive for that.”

A few more minutes passed. Camila didn’t seem too amused by the singing. Lauren had to admit that the singing in the first episode of season three was rather dull. Even the cafeteria fight was boring as hell.

“But you’re right though, I feel like if we were all _Glee_ characters, Ariana would be Quinn,” Lauren told her.

“Ally is totally Rachel,” she agreed. “Normani is Santana… Oh, God, does that make me Brittany?” Camila broke out into a wide grin. “I love Britt!”

“Louis is Kurt, Harry is Blaine, Niall is Sam,” Lauren listed off her guy friends. “Hm… am I Tina? Or Mercedes?”

Camila shook her head. “Dinah is Mercedes and you’re a solid Puck, just less of an asshole though. Shawn is Finn, eugh. Anyone else?”

“If I’m Puck that means Ari and I had a kid,” Lauren pointed out. “Normani and I hooked up, I had a thing for Dinah, and-”

“Okay, _Glee_ is canceled! You’re mine, ladykiller.”

Lauren cackled at her response. Jealous Camila was probably the most interesting one. She looked like a spoiled child that just got told that they couldn’t have what they wanted. Camila was born with a silver spoon in her mouth literally.

Camila pouted at her. “Don’t laugh at me.” Lauren leaned in and kissed her. With a loud smack of their lips, Lauren pulled away. “Kissing me isn’t going to make me forgive you.” Lauren raised a brow at that. Camila narrowed her eyes and then sighed in defeat, bringing their lips back together for a searing kiss.

She placed her hand on Camila’s waist and shut her eyes. Camila sucked on her lower lip and deepened the kiss.

_“I have pepperoni in my bra.”_

_“Those are your nipples.”_

The kiss broke because Camila found that line way too funny. She burst out laughing and snorted loudly. Her hand quickly covered her mouth in embarrassment. Lauren rolled her eyes and pulled Camila’s hand out of the way. She pressed their lips together again, and Camila relaxed once again.

“Mmph,” Camila mumbled against her lips. “I wanna watch the show.”

“We _are_ watching the show,” Lauren argued as she leaned against the back of the truck and pulled Camila on top of her lap. Her phone flew out of her hands in the process and was left somewhere in the mass of blankets.

“Lauren,” Camila chastised as she pulled away from Lauren’s lips. “I’m not making out with you in the back of the truck when I could be watching TV.”

Lauren scoffed in astonishment. “You’re choosing a shitty comedy over your own girlfriend?”

“...Yes?”

“I’m breaking up with you,” Camila grumbled.

“Haha, no, you’re not,” Lauren shot back.

Camila pursed her lips, running her hands through Lauren’s hair, “No, I’m not.” Lauren grinned in triumph and grabbed her phone. Camila crawled off of her lap and snuggled into her side. “Ah, that’s way better.”

Lauren chuckled draping her arm over Camila’s curled up frame. “You’re the cutest, Camz, and you can’t change my mind.”

“I have something that might be able to change your mind,” Camila said. She pointed at the phone screen. “Blaine transferring high schools to be with Kurt.”

“Okay, I’ll admit, that’s _very_ cute. Having that much commitment to your partner is fucking admirable.”

Camila looked up at Lauren with an expression that told Lauren that she was probably going to ask or request something. “Do you… see ourselves doing that in the future?” she asked timidly.

Lauren’s eyebrows scrunched. “Uh, babe, we go to the same school.”

Camila rolled her eyes. “Oh, yeah, I know that, Lauren. I’m talking about the future… _our_ future.” She shifted so her chin was resting on Lauren’s shoulder. “I remember our first _real_ conversation you said you wanted to skip town when you graduate. But I’m a junior, I still have another year.”

Her words caught her off-guard. Her chest tightened and her eyes widened in astonishment. Did she think about Camila and her being together long-term? Sometimes, but she never considered it actually being a thing. The average relationship only lasted three weeks. Lauren considered a goddamn miracle that Camila and her were still going strong in such a short time. “You want to be with me after high school?”

Camila bit her lip and nodded. “Yes. If we’re still together by then, of course…” Camila sighed. “If I asked you to stay in Silver and wait for me, would you?”

“I… I don’t know, Camz. I had this whole plan, and-” Lauren rambled. “It’s not just up to me.”

“It would only be a year. I’ll go off to college wherever you go with your band,” Camila said. Her expression dulled. “Ugh, I’m asking for too much, ain’t I?”

“Hey, hey.” Lauren cupped Camila’s cheek. “Graduation is months away. We’ve only been together for two weeks. Just like you said, we have _all_ the time in the world,” she reassured her. “I’m sure we can figure something out.”

“I know I’m overthinking, but I don’t wanna lose you because of the long distance. Couples make sacrifices for each other, do you understand?

Lauren nodded sympathetically. “I do, love, but I’ve had this dream since I was a kid. I’ve always wanted to make it big, and my bandmates and I are saving up everything to ditch town.” She gave her a reassuring smile. “We’re still young, Camz. This is both of our first relationships with a girl. Things can happen, people change, maybe by then, you won’t be into me anymore. It’s too far away from now to tell, so let’s just enjoy each other while we can.”

“You sound too pessimistic to be a big dreamer,” Camila noted.

“I let life happen on its own,” Lauren answered. “I know that things will change, but if I want something… I’ll fight for it.”

Camila’s forehead creased in confusion. “Does that mean you don’t want me?”

Lauren shook her head and brought their foreheads together. “I already fought for you.” She kissed her lips softly. “And I won,” she breathed out. “I’ll do it again if I have to.”

Her girlfriend exhaled heavily as if the weight of Lauren’s words had hit her square in the chest. “Oh my God, Lauren…” She brought their lips together roughly. Lauren kissed her back feverishly. Hands flew everywhere, gripping waists and hair. Both girls could feel the passion and care that they felt for each other at that moment. She nearly choked on her breath when Camila slipped her hands under Lauren’s shirt and palmed her breasts over the bra.

Lauren gasped in pleasure as her eyes rolled back. Their lips never left each other as her girlfriend continued her assault on her breasts. Lauren found herself pulling Camila’s hips towards her, forcing the girl to straddle her thigh. She brought her hands to Camila’s glorious behind and squeezed it.

“Oh,” Camila moaned as she broke their kiss. “Damn it, we said we wouldn’t-”

“It’s not fucking if you keep your clothes on,” Lauren growled. Before Camila could respond, Lauren sunk her teeth into Camila’s collarbone. Camila practically screamed in her ear as she began rocking her hips against Lauren’s thigh.

The wetness between Lauren’s legs began to become very obvious as Camila grinded down on her thigh and continued squeezing her breasts. Lauren continued attacking Camila’s neck, licking and nipping as much skin as her mouth could handle. She felt the need to let Shawn know that Camila belonged to her. Marking _her_ territory and making sure he got the message that Camila was no one else’s but a green-eyed songstress with a nice ass.

“Oh, God,” Camila panted as her rocking began to increase. Lauren’s hands stayed on Camila’s best asset and helped her rock smoothly. “This feels so _fucking_ good, baby.”

“You’re doing all the work,” Lauren grunted.

Camila squeezed her breasts harshly causing Lauren’s hips to buck into Camila’s. “Then help me,” she hissed in her ear. Lauren whined loudly and immediately complied by squeezing Camila’s ass. “Yes!” Camila cried. She continued rocking, moaning loudly every time Lauren squeezed her ass.

Lauren felt her own stomach tighten because _shit_ , this was so hot. Her own panties were no doubt soaked by now. Damn her for having a hot as hell girlfriend. She could tell Camila was close by her increased pants and whines until finally… Camila screamed Lauren’s name at the top of her lungs. Her back arched and she squeezed the shit out of Lauren’s poor breasts. Lauren continued moving Camila’s hips while she came down from her high.

“Holy… crap…” Camila gasped as her hips slowed. “I’ve never- I’ve never done that.” Her brows furrowed. “That felt so… good,” she breathed.

“Orgasms - the best discovery of humanity.”

Camila giggled softly. “I believe it too.” Her hand slipped from Lauren’s right breast and trailed down to the band of Lauren’s athletic shorts. Lauren’s eyes widened in surprise. "Wait, hold on, Camz… was that your first orgasm?”

Camila nodded as she continued toying with her shorts. “Yeah. Doing your diddles is sinful. Even Angelina Jolie wasn’t enough to make me wanna disrespect the Lord.”

Lauren snorted. “Doing your diddles…” She giggled loudly and buried her head into Camila’s neck. “ _Doing_ your _diddles_ ,” she repeated.

Her girlfriend’s cheeks flushed red. “Shut up…” Her fingers slipped under the band of athletic shorts. “Or I’ll _make_ you stop,” she whispered hotly.

Lauren quickly shook her head. “No, no, it’s okay. Camz, you don’t have to do it.” She removed Camila’s hand out of her shorts. “That took things a little too far… if you know what I mean. Consider it an apology for overreaction,” she mumbled awkwardly.

“Babe, no, it was my fault…” Camila said softly. “I was being an idiot.”

She shook her head in reply. “You weren’t. You’re scared, and it’s understandable.”

Camila exhaled softly. “Okay… does that mean I wasn’t good? No?”

Lauren chuckled and grinned. “No, you were fine. I was close, too. But it’s for the best that we don’t, not in the back of my truck. Consider this just a happy accident.

Camila pressed a kiss to her grinning girlfriend’s forehead before rolling off of her.

“Anyways,” Lauren said breathlessly, “that was something.”

“Agreed. 10/10. Would do again,” Camila replied.

Lauren rolled her eyes. “Dork.”

“ _Your_ dork,” she corrected her. Lauren laughed and opened her arm up so Camila could crawl over and cuddle her. Her girlfriend flashed her a big smile and kissed her cheek before settling into Lauren’s chest. Camila was perfect, she decided, way too perfect.


	10. ten: she's the queen of following her arrow

October in Texas was not at all different from September except for the temperature drop. From low 90’s and upper 80’s to low 80’s and upper 70’s was a bit of a dramatic change. It wasn’t leather jacket or flannel during the day type of weather, but it was cold enough for Lauren to stop wearing tank tops all the damn time. October was also the month seniors were putting together college applications. Everyone but Dinah, Lauren, Harry, and Niall were scrambling to get letters of recommendations so they could turn in their applications in on time.

Homeroom had turned into a college application work time. So for Lauren and her friends, it was just a regular old study hall.

“We look like losers,” Niall said. “We look like losers that are destined to be kicked out and forced to live on the streets in LA.”

“Relax. If it comes to that, we’ll get Dinah on the pole,” Harry teased.

Dinah looked up from her phone and glared at him. “Bitch I hope the fuck you do.” She flipped her hair to the side and jabbed his shoulder. “You’ll be a dead son of a bitch. I’ll tell you that.”

“I wouldn’t mind seeing Dinah on the pole,” Lauren admitted, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

“I take that back. I will gladly get on the pole if Lauren approves.”

Niall grinned. “Whipped.”

“We’re not dating!” Lauren and Dinah chastised him at the exact same time. God, if Lauren had a dime every time someone accused them of that… shit, she’d be rich. Lauren looked over across the room at the other seniors. Ally and Normani sat together, thighs brushing up against each other and occasional smiles sent each other’s way. Lauren considered inviting them over to their desks, but she wanted to leave them in peace. Ally and Normani were back and stronger than ever; however, Lauren finally noticed that they weren’t exactly subtle about their relationship.

“I hope they realize that college is going to pull them in different directions,” Harry muttered.

Lauren shrugged. “Normani said that she was looking at UCI, UT Austin, UNCSA… those are all very different schools.”

Dinah nodded. “Yeah. Ally’s interested in women’s colleges. None of them are near Silver at all. I’m talking about Smith, Mount Holyoke, and Scripps. I bet her daddy’s pissed.”

“Two of those colleges are kind of near each other… I’m sure they can figure it out.” Lauren shrugged and glanced back over at Ally and Normani. Ally had her head on Normani’s shoulder, and the cheerleader looked beyond pleased with her current situation.

“Maybe we should take the time to talk about _our_ future?” Niall suggested. “We don’t know where we’ll be after high school. What about housing? Money? Jobs?”

Harry chuckled. “Like I said, if we get poor, we’ll put Dinah on the pole.” Dinah rolled her eyes and made a disgusted noise. He patted her back comfortingly. “What? Not to worry! If you can’t do that, Lauren’s classes will get her a decent job after she gets a two-year degree.”

Lauren scoffed. “Wow, I can’t believe _that’s_ your Plan B,” she said sarcastically. “I’m beginning to think you want Dinah to be a stripper.”

“Well, don’t you?”

“I’m _not_ answering that,” Lauren mumbled.

Dinah hadn’t said a word. Her shit-eating grin made Lauren want to roll her eyes. Dinah loved when the attention was on her, even if they were talking about something so scandalous as that. She wiggled her eyebrows at Lauren.

The green-eyed girl huffed. “I swear, Dinah-”

“We are getting off task… again!” Niall complained. “I just want this figured out.”

“Listen, buddy, all four _or_ five of us are gonna rent an apartment and live together. We’ll all get jobs to pay for it and then do gigs at night. There’s your answer,” Harry explained, scratching his head frustratedly. “Piece of cake.”

Lauren suddenly remembered the conversation Camila and she had three weeks ago. They were still going strong as a couple, even if they were nowhere near saying “I love you” or coming out to the school. Camila also was getting a lot more comfortable with being affectionate around her. They hugged in the hallways a lot, partnered up for group work, ate lunch together, and Camila no longer flinched as much when Lauren would subtly compliment her or hold her hands. However, Lauren expected Camila to not even want to go to Homecoming with her. That was a big event, all eyes would be on her. She didn’t mind though; she’d be more than content with going to Homecoming with Harry as her “date” while really going with Dinah.

But anyways, Lauren wanted to try her best to make accommodations for her girlfriend. She was still a junior, and Lord knew how much money the band had to even leave Silver. Maybe they would have to stay a year and work to get just a little more money. Also, her dad was in some deep shit. Lauren didn’t feel comfortable leaving Silver with that hanging over her head.

She smiled nervously. “About that… I may have something tying me down.” Harry raised a brow. “Camila,” she whispered like her name was cursed.

Niall groaned loudly. “Oh, for God’s sake…”

“You ain’t seriously going to be longterm, right!?” Dinah asked worriedly.

Lauren didn’t know the answer to that. “We’ve been going pretty strong. She asked me to stay if things come to that…”

“Laaauuureeennn,” Harry drawled. “What happened to bros before hoes?”

“If you ask me, Dinah’s the hoe,” Niall teased. Dinah’s nostrils flared and she smacked his arm loudly. “Oi! Get your hands off of me!”

Dinah hit him again. “You deserved it, Blondie.”

Lauren sighed softly. “Listen, I don’t know about Camz and I’s future… but if it comes down to it, I gotta _think_ about it. You might… have to leave without me.”

A chorus of protests escaped her friends.

“Sis, you kidding?”

“You ain’t doing that, nope.”

“Goddamn, Lauser, you’re pussy whipped.”

Lauren pouted. “Guys…” She bit her lip. “It’s more than just my girlfriend,” she said barely above a whisper. “My dad’s in some deep shit. I’m talking… blackmail.” Niall’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. Harry gasped quietly, and Dinah’s jaw dropped. “Leaving him wouldn’t be fair to him. After my ma left, he needs as much support as he can get. And that damn _business partner_ of his ain’t doing shit for him.”

Dinah smiled sympathetically. “Oh, Lauren… why didn’t you tell us?”

“It’s not something you can casually discuss,” Lauren mumbled quietly. “I’ve been keeping it to myself for weeks now. Internalizing it, shit… why can’t life be easy for me?”

“Babe…”

“Oh my God, she called her babe,” Niall whisper-yelled.

Lauren rolled her eyes. “Shut up.” She turned back to Dinah and grabbed her hand. “Don’t worry so much about me. I’m a bad bitch. I’ve kept myself out of too much trouble.” Squeezing her hand, she smiled reassuringly at Dinah in hopes of convincing her that everything would be alright. “This is just another bump in the road for me. No biggie.”

Dinah sighed quietly, face contorting as she seemed to fight off her sympathies. Lauren didn’t need them, especially not from Dinah. She was one of the last people Lauren wanted to make her worry. Dinah didn’t deserve to stress over her too. “Right. But Lauren, _please_ know that if there’s anything I can do, don’t hesitate to ask for help.”

“That applies to us, too,” Harry chimed in, patting Lauren on the head. “You’re our sister. You’ve been one of my closest friends since we were partnered for that project in the fourth grade. And I’d be damned if I’d let the girl who made the best ecosystem out there with a few shitty plastic bottles get swamped with shit.”

Niall nodded fervently. “It’s true. If I wasn’t stuck with Shawn Mendes, I’d have asked to be your partner too.”

“We _all_ know she woulda picked me,” Dinah cut in, flipping her hair proudly.

“Shut up, hoe,” Niall sassed. “You were quick to go partner up with Ally, don’t you forget.”

Dinah let go of Lauren’s hand and leaned forward in her desk in an attempt to swipe at Niall’s face. Her weight caused her to nearly fall out of her own damn desk. It was a pretty funny sight. Confident, unruly Dinah Jane Hansen almost falling over and cracking her head open on a desk was the funniest thing she’d seen all day. Lauren didn’t even bother trying to contain her giggles as Dinah groaned and sat back up. “You’re gonna kill me one day, Nail, and y’all better attend my funeral. I expect ‘Bow Down (I Been On)’ to play as my coffin is brought down the church’s aisle.”

“Dramatic, much?” Harry scoffed.

“I’m so dramatic that when my mama gave birth to me, I cried.”

“Dinah… every single baby cries when they’re born.”

Dinah huffed and scowled. “Not every baby! Regina kinda just… stared when she was born.” She shrugged her shoulders. “She was also rushed away real quick. I guess no baby is allowed to be cool as a cucumber.”

“Here’s the gal that skipped a grade and has the maturity and mentality of a fourth grader everyone,” Lauren said sarcastically.

“4.2 GPA and headed for the dean’s list, biatch. Try again,” Dinah pointed out.

Lauren rolled her eyes. Dinah loved to shove her high GPA in front of everyone’s faces. There was no doubt that Dinah was smart; she just needed some help jogging her memory whenever a concept confused her. However, Lauren could easily say that Ally was smarter than Dinah. She had a 4.5 GPA, after all.

“Yes. You’re smart, Dinah Jane. There’s no doubt about that. Some people would wonder why you aren’t going off to college with your smarts,” Lauren chuckled. “You could easily get into any school without too much trouble.”

“Why would I wanna do that? College is boring. You go to class and only get to party at night. And then you flunk because you’re hungover in class,” Dinah said. “In conclusion, college is for dumbasses.”

The classroom’s door swung open abruptly. Several people, including Lauren and her friends, turned in their chairs to see who had entered their classroom. A freshman cheerleader was carrying a huge basket that contained a bouquet of roses and a few candy boxes. In her other hand, she held three balloons. It was extra on a totally new level.

The freshman looked around the room timidly before glancing down at the card. “Um… I have a basket for Lauren…” She paused. “Lauren…?”

 _Oh, Jesus Christ, she can’t even say my name right,_ Lauren thought.

“Lauren Jow-rey-gay?”

Dinah snickered. “Hell yeah, she’s gay,” she said under her breath.

Lauren rolled her eyes at Dinah and held her hand up. “That’s for me.” The freshman nodded quickly and rushed over to hand her the basket and balloons. Lauren gladly took the basket from the shaking girl’s hands and placed it on her desk. The poor girl was out the door before Lauren could even thank her. Now Lauren had a huge ass basket on her desk that she had no idea where it came from.

A bunch of people were staring at her too. Shawn and Ariana, Ally and Normani, a few other kids that Lauren had no desire to mention. “Okay, uh, this isn’t weird at all,” Lauren muttered.

“Looks like you have a secret admirer,” Harry noted. “Go on and open it up.”

Lauren scowled. “Okay, okay, I will. I need some help though.” Harry got up on his feet and pulled the bouquet of roses from Lauren’s basket. “Are they real?” she inquired curiously. “Cause they look real.”

“Oh, they are real,” Harry said, examining the roses closely. “The nearest florist is in Delta. That must be some crazy dedication to drive all the way out there for some roses for your dumb ass.”

“Shut up,” Lauren fired back. “People like me.”

Dinah gasped. “Screw the roses, can we talk about the fact that your _secret admirer_ got you chocolate?” She pulled two of the boxes out of the basket and showed them to Lauren. “Look, Lauser! They’re totally gourmet!”

“I hate chocolate,” Lauren reminded her.

The blonde grinned. “Oh, I know. Can I have them?”

“Sure. Just don’t eat them in public. My admirer might see that and get offended.” It was too late; Dinah was already opening one of the boxes. But Lauren did not expect to find the contents. “Wait. Sour Patch Kids!?” She gasped loudly and took the boxes back out of Dinah’s hands. She opened the other two to see if they were the same thing. The other two contained gummy worms and jelly beans - two other candies that Lauren adored. “Oh, gosh, this person totally had me fooled. Wow… my heart’s beating like crazy,” she gushed.

Her gaze moved to a small card that had her name in cursive and a heart around it. Lauren grabbed it and opened it up.

_Hey, Lolo,_

_I know when you read this you’ll probably feel really confused. Or maybe you’re the type of girl that opens the goodies before the card, I’m not sure. But I hope you like your gift! I’ve been planning this for a while, and I had to get outside help for it. Anyway, I wanted to do something grand because Homecoming is coming up. HoCo is all about the big fancy proposals, right? I mean I would’ve done something like paraded down the hallway with a bunch of cheerleaders and asked you. Maybe I’d also interrupt the homecoming game or the pep rally on that Friday afternoon before to ask you. But I know we’re not that couple yet, even though I wish we were. This is the next best thing._

_I know I’m a writer, but when it comes to you, my words are pretty crappy. You make me look at the world in so many different ways that I never thought I’d see. These past six weeks have been incredible, and I find myself slowly falling for you more and more every single day. From your infectious smile and raspy laughter to your dinosaur yawns and pouty lips, you’re the single most extraordinary person in Silver, Lauren Michelle Jauregui. So I guess what I’m trying to say is… will you go to Homecoming with me? (As a date obviously!) I can’t think of anyone else I’d rather go with._

_From your beloved, C_

_P.S. Please let me know your answer ASAP so I can get my car fixed!_

_P.S.S. Preferably at lunch! <3 _

Lauren’s heart stopped beating for a second. Or maybe it didn’t because otherwise, Lauren Jauregui would be dead. She felt like she was dead, though. The grin on her face couldn’t be contained, and she felt like she was floating. Oh my God, what did she ever do to deserve someone as amazing and charming as Camila Cabello? It was a goddamn miracle. Lauren looked up and then glanced over at Ally and Normani. Both girls were grinning at her madly. Of course, they’d be behind it. Normani was Camila’s best friend; she probably ate that best friend being sappy shit up. Ally was the town’s Cupid, also not a big surprise.

“So, what’s the skinny?” Dinah asked eagerly as Lauren put the note down.

“I got a not-so-anonymous Homecoming proposal.”

“Shut the front door!” Niall gasped. “Yessss! That’s my girl!”

“Lauren Jauregui got asked to Hoco!? Who would even bother asking a dyke like her?” Austin shouted from across the room.

“Some cute boy named C,” Dinah said quickly as she picked up Lauren’s card. “Y’all didn’t know? Lauren’s been dating a dude for about six weeks now!”

Now that got Ariana Grande interested. A stupid grin formed on her lips. “Someone named C!? Oooh! I bet it’s Calum! He’s been crushing on Lauren for forever!”

Shawn snorted. “Isn’t he a sophomore? He’s the worst quarterback the JV team has ever seen.”

“You could say the same thing about the varsity quarterback,” Normani quipped.

A chorus of “oh”s filled the room. Shawn’s ears turned bright pink and he glared at Normani before turning back to his friends embarrassedly.

“Well, congratulations, Lauren! I’m actually impressed!” Ariana said actually somewhat sweetly. “I’ll tell the whole school you’re going with a mystery guy named C! Who knows? Maybe y’all will end up being Homecoming King and Queen.”

Lauren chuckled at that. Over her own dead body.

* * *

“Sooo…” Camila drawled as she came up from behind Lauren. “Ariana’s been blabbing to everyone who would listen that _Lauren Jauregui_ has a _date_ to Homecoming. Is that true?”

Lauren chuckled softly as she continued to rummage through her locker and organize her folders. “Maybe it is, maybe it ain’t,” she said teasingly. “I didn’t exactly tell them I said yes yet.”

“And why haven’t you? It’s rude to leave a man waiting.”

Lauren smiled so widely she was thankful that Camila couldn’t see her face. “Maybe it’s because it’s not a man I’ve left waiting. Ever think about that?”

Camila gasped softly. “Lauren Jauregui? A homosexual? Why I’d never even suspect such a thing!”

“Yes, it’s true.” Lauren pulled her lunch out of her locker and closed the door. Thank God no one was in the hallway to hear their silly, gay banter. “Are you disappointed?”

“Not at all.” Camila linked their arms and led them in the direction of the front entrance. “But I’m desperate to know if you’re planning on saying yes to the person who asked you.” Lauren couldn’t hide her smirk. “You know… for science…”

Lauren nodded. “Well, she did put in a lot of effort to dump the chocolates out of boxes and replace them with sugary candy. I think that’s admirable.”

Camila raised a brow. “Good. Mani, Ally, and I’s stomachs were so filled after that. I think I had a food child that evening. Her name’s Hester.”

“Oh, so my secret admirer is none other than the cheerleader Camila Cabello?”

“Wait. You didn’t know it was me?”

Lauren roared with laughter, shaking her head and then wrapping an arm around Camila. “Of course I did, Camz. No one has that shitty of handwriting except for you.” Camila pouted in reply causing Lauren to roll her eyes. “Okay, I was kidding. Chill out.”

Camila let out a “hmph." “I’m not chilling out until you give me a definitive answer.”

“Of course, I’ll go to Homecoming with you! I know we may not be able to dance like couples do and leave room for Jesus H. Christ. But we can sneak off and get a few slow dances in, right?”

“That’s exactly what I was thinking,” Camila replied.

The couple walked out onto the school’s patio. Lauren looked over at her usual table to find Normani, Ally, and Dinah all sitting there. Dinah looked up from her turkey sandwich and waved them over. She flashed her girlfriend a grin and led them to the table. Camila slid onto the bench first next to Dinah, and Lauren sat right next to her. “Hey, chickens,” Lauren greeted happily.

“Hey, Laur,” Normani greeted. “How was your morning?”

“Shit until homeroom, and then shit again until Camz ran into me,” Lauren answered.

Dinah huffed. “You don’t mean band practice was bad, right?”

“Oh, that was fun. I can’t wait to show off the newest duet Dinah and I have planned.”

“Y’all are doing a duet?” Ally asked. “When?”

Lauren shrugged. “Dunno,” she answered honestly. “Dinah and I were planning on practicing this afternoon and then playing some _Mario Kart 8_ with the boys. Y’all are more than welcome to join us. I was gonna pick up Ashley and have her tag along too.”

Ally nodded. “I’d love to! I missed out on the last card game, so I’d love to come hang out with my girls.” She nudged Normani’s shoulder. “We don’t have any plans, right?”

“You’re the one that usually plans our outings, honey,” Normani reminded her. “So I don’t _think_ we have any plans.”

“Yay! We don’t have any plans for this week! I got us tickets to see _Boo 2! A Madea Halloween_ when it comes out actually.”

Dinah snorted loudly. “You’re taking Normani to see a bad Tyler Perry movie?” She burst out laughing. “Oh my Lord, she really is.” Normani sent her a death glare, one that definitely made Lauren quiver. She made a mental note to never in any way, shape, or form make a bad remark about Ally.

Ally shrugged her shoulders, oblivious to Normani’s evil glare. “But I’m excited about this afternoon. It’ll be like a… Lauren and Dinah _CMT Crossroads_!”

Lauren chuckled. “That’s kind of the thing we were going for. I’m Kacey Musgraves, and that’s Katy Perry.” She pointed at Dinah.

“Tragically,” Dinah muttered.

“Or… we could be Maren Morris and Alicia Keys?”

“Boom. I call Alicia.”

Camila giggled quietly as she reached into Lauren’s lunch bag and took one of Lauren’s sugar snap peas. Lauren glared at her girlfriend, but Camila disregarded her completely. “Your friendship is making me so jealous. Mani, we gotta step it up!”

Normani rolled her eyes. “Mila, we agreed that I’m Beyonce, and you’re Shakira. Get with it!”

“Get with it,” Ally repeated sassily so it sounded like “gaht with eht”.

“Get with it,” Camila added on in the same sassy tone.

Lauren rolled her eyes and decided to join in. “Get with it,” she drawled with the same tone as her girlfriend.

Dinah looked between her friends and then reached down into her backpack. She pulled her water bottle out and used it to sprinkle her friends with little droplets of water. Ally squealed loudly and cowered behind Normani. “Stop being weirdos, weirdos,” she grumbled.

“You can’t be friends with us until you say it,” Lauren replied. “Get with it!”

“Yeah, DJ, get with it,” Camila teased.

Dinah glared at her. “Walz, don’t you dare take Lauser’s side. It’s against the bro code to side with your girl over your bros, or in this chase, your cheer sisters.”

“Walz?” Camila blinked in confusion.

“Yeah… it’s my nickname for you. Since you always give those big ol’ koala hugs. Walz is a shortened form of koala,” she explained.

Camila beamed. “Aw. That’s so cute.” She ruffled Dinah’s hair, much to the blonde’s dismay. “I think I’ll call you China.”

“Alright. That’s a decent nickname. I’ll accept it.” Lauren, once again, found herself doing an internal happy dance at her girlfriend and her best friend getting along. Camila reached into Lauren’s lunch bag again and pulled out a few more sugar snap peas.

Lauren scowled at her girlfriend and attempted to steal her food back from her. “Hey! Stop stealing my greens! These are still fresh.” She pouted when Camila grinned at her and shoved the peas into her mouth.

Normani watched the exchange with mild amusement, dipping her french fry into her ketchup. Lauren was surprised Normani could force herself to eat the cafeteria food. She couldn’t even force herself to eat it, and Lauren would eat just about anything considered edible. Then again, when was cafeteria food ever edible?

“I’ve been dying to know… did you say yes to your mystery guy?” Normani asked. “I mean, this C dude put in a _lot_ effort for this proposal. You should’ve totally said yes.” Her tone mimicked a peppy cheerleader like Ariana. It made Lauren smirk in amusement.

“Oh, yes, this C dude totally knows how to win your heart. Right, Ralph?” Dinah played along. “I mean he knew that you hated chocolate and got all your favorite kinds of candies. He even took out the orange Sour Patch Kids and jellybeans because you hate that color!”

Lauren nodded. “Well, yeah, I hate the color orange. But I love orange candy…”

“Oh, shit,” Camila said quickly. All four pairs of eyes moved to her. Lauren couldn’t contain her smirk. “I-I meant to say… I’m sure if Lauren asked really nicely this C dude could give her all the orange candy that he left out.”

“Well, C,” Lauren drawled, leaning into Camila’s ear. “May I please have the orange candy, baby?”

Camila swallowed nervously. “I, uh- _gay._ I mean… I’ll be sure to ask him. I’m sure he’ll say yes.” Lauren smiled in satisfaction. She glanced over to the tables where the popular kids sat and then nipped Camila’s earlobe. Her girlfriend squeaked and pushed her away. Lauren couldn’t even contain her glee.

“Lord, the _heterosexuals_ have blessed us once again,” Ally said, putting her hands together. “Let us put our hands together and pray for Lauren’s success with a handsome man… And orange candy!”

Normani bowed her head.

Dinah’s brows furrowed. “Wait, what the fuck-”

“Lord, bless this woman who has been shown love and compassion from a very handsome Cuban man. Although he is very dorky and clumsier than a man with two left feet, he has been a loyal servant to the Lord’s will. May she find comfort and happiness with her Homecoming date.” Ally stopped praying and burst out into giggles. She leaned on Normani’s shoulder and laughed into the cheerleader’s uniform. Normani shot her an amused, but warm look. “Oh, God, I don’t know why I just did that, but it was very funny, right?”

“Yes, _hilarious_ ,” Camila said sarcastically. “I sure love being compared to a man.”

“Fool, C is definitely man, duh!” Dinah corrected her. “Because God forbid if Lauren Jauregui is a homosexual…”

Lauren placed a hand on her chest. “Indeed, I don’t know what I would do with myself if I was a homosexual and in love with a girl. Imagine the horror!”

“I don’t think I could live with myself if I was a lesbian,” Normani agreed. “Especially if I was in love with someone like Ally…”

Ally nodded fervently. “I don’t think my father could handle it if I was in love with Normani!”

“If Lauser and I cuddled during reading time in elementary school… how sinful!” Dinah said dramatically.

Camila shuddered. “What would be more terrifying is if Lauren and I were dating. God, I don’t think I could live with myself if that were true.”

Silence. All five of them gave each other weird looks like they all understood how scarily upsetting their sarcastic remarks were. No matter how hard Normani, Ally, Camila, Lauren, and Dinah tried to use humor to hide the blatant homophobia the town had, they were screwed. Lauren was sure Normani and Ally felt the same way she and Camila did. She wanted nothing more than to shout “I’m gay” from the rooftops and kiss her girlfriend in between classes. If it was God’s plan to curse them for the rest of their high school career, He had succeeded.

“Right…” Dinah said awkwardly. “I’m gonna try and get Carrie Underwood tickets soon. Anyone wanna come?”

“Carrie Underwood is homophobic. Don’t stan her,” Normani reprimanded her.

“And PewDiePie is racist, but he’s the most subscribed bitch on YouTube.”

Lauren shrugged. “Just because other fifty-seven million other people are ignorant, as of this day in October 2017, doesn’t mean you should be ignorant too.” She reached into her bag to get another sugar snap pea, only to find the bag empty. Lauren immediately glared at her girlfriend who didn’t seem phased at all. “The same logic can be applied to Carrie Underwood.”

“I know…” Dinah sighed sadly. “But when will anyone write a song better than ‘Before He Cheats’?”

“Selena’s entire discography,” Ally answered blankly.

Dinah blinked. “Well, I can’t argue with that.” She clapped her hands together. “Allyson wins this time.”

Ally grinned widely. “Aw, thanks, Dinah. You’re so kind.”

“I can think of someone who has a better discography than Selena… Ed Sheeran,” Camila said.

Lauren snorted. “Camz, please tell me you’re joking.”

“If you say ‘Shape of You’ is better than ‘Como La Flor,’ I’ll beat you with a bible, Mila,” Ally threatened.

“Ooooh. Fight, fight, fight!” Normani shouted.

Camila’s lips pursed as she grasped onto Lauren’s arm. “Please don’t beat me with a bible. Lo, you wouldn’t let that happen, right?” She pouted and tugged on Lauren’s arm frustratedly. Lauren wanted to desperately kiss that pout off her lips, but she stopped herself. Her warm smile was hopefully reassuring enough to convince Camila that she would defend her. Although, Lauren wasn’t sure she liked that idea of being beaten with a bible by a tiny elf. “And for the record, ‘Shape of You’ is Ed Sheeran’s worst song. It’s a mystery as to why it’s so popular.”

“It’s cause he’s a white ginger, and people love white ginger boys,” Lauren told her.

“Ha, not us!” Dinah said gleefully.

Camila giggled at that and leaned over to drape her arm around Dinah. Lauren couldn’t contain her grin when Dinah leaned over and rested her head on Camila’s shoulder. No, she didn’t feel jealous that her girl was currently giving someone else her attention and affection. For some reason, Lauren’s heart swelled at that. Nothing made her more proud than to see two people she cared deeply about enjoying each other’s company. Maybe Normani and Ally saw it, too, judging by their amused looks and endearing smiles.

Lauren would never admit it. But it was maybe, _maybe_ better than kissing Camila. Both were neck and neck when it came to things that made Lauren want to melt into a puddle, and she wouldn’t have it any other way.

* * *

“One time Lauren told me I was like Dolly Parton but without the tits,” Ashley said before taking a huge swig of her Coca-Cola.

Louis cleared his throat awkwardly. “That’s… nice. Who’s she again?”

“YOU DON’T KNOW WHO DOLLY PARTON IS!?”

A loud crash and a very manly scream came from the other side of the garage.

Harry groaned loudly. “Ashley, if you knocked down the dartboard again, can you _please_ pick it up?”

A nervous chuckle escaped the blue-haired girl’s lips. “Heh, sorry, I might’ve… broken it too? The glass is cracked.”

Harry swore loudly. “You’re kidding, right?”

“Yep,” Ashley responded as she picked the dart board up and hung it back up. “I’m totally kidding. It’s fine. No damage done!” She winked and skipped back over to her lawn chair.

They were about to do the Crossing Cup for _Mario Kart 8._ It was a DLC cup, but Harry was the type of guy to download every single extra content for his games. The current players were Lauren, Dinah, Niall, and Normani. Originally it was supposed to be Ally in Niall’s spot, but when she heard that Dinah would be playing, she quickly gave up the spot. Dinah was ruthless when it came to the Wii game. Niall was the only brave soul willing to take the spot. Lauren and Camila were squashed in an armchair a little more comfortably than Lauren would expect. Camila had her legs draped over Lauren’s lap and was snuggling into Lauren’s side, even though Lauren kept elbowing her while she was driving the kart; Camila didn’t seem to mind at all. Dinah was sitting on the couch with Ally and Normani on the other side. Everyone else had their own lawn chairs, thankfully; it was one big gay fest.

“I can’t decide between Yoshi, Shy Guy, or Roy. What do you think, Camz?” Lauren asked.

“Go with Iggy,” Camila suggested.

“I always play as Iggy. I second that, Lauren!” Ashley shouted.

Lauren rolled her eyes. “Iggy isn’t one I suggested!”

“We should have a theme,” Normani said. “All girls, all green characters, or all evil guys.”

“All Marios and Luigis?” Ally asked eagerly.

Normani shrugged. “Sure.”

Dinah rolled her eyes. “Fuck you guys and your themes. I’m playing as Bowser.” She selected him and grinned proudly.

Lauren chuckled and selected Shy Guy. “Alright. I’m playing as Shy Guy then.”

“Rosalina,” Normani sang as she selected the prettiest girl, in Lauren’s opinion, in the entire group.

Niall groaned. “Okay, okay… uh… I can’t pick.” He scratched his head. “Donkey Kong…? Mario? Toad?” He hesitated for a few more seconds. “Waluigi,” he decided.

“Ooh, that’s daddy,” Ashley purred.

Louis raised a brow. “If you guys are playing a cup designed for _Animal Crossing,_ shouldn’t you guys have a character from _Animal Crossing_?”

“Oh, he’s right!” Normani quickly changed her character to Isabelle, the cute dog mayor from _Animal Crossing: New Leaf._ “She’s the purest soul. Protect her at all costs.” She grinned at Ally and kissed her cheek, eliciting a bright blush from her girlfriend. “Protect my baby at all costs, too.”

The four of them went on to customize their carts the best that they could. Lauren was admittedly surprised to find Shy Guy and Isabelle had similar stats. Perhaps it would be more difficult to defeat her. But Bowser had the highest speeds, and Waluigi had the best acceleration rates, beating them wouldn’t be easy.

“Baby Park is the easiest course in this game… I’m gonna nail this like I nail your bitch,” Dinah said.

She did not nail it. It made Lauren wonder if she could even nail bitches properly then. It was a hilarious sight; cocky, proud, Dinah Jane Hansen coming in tenth place because she messed up the start. Normani took first place with Lauren in a very close second. Niall was in sixth, but he didn’t really care; he was more proud of the fact that he managed to beat Dinah.

“Normani and Lauren were totally cheating!” Dinah accused them.

Normani rolled her eyes. “You said so yourself Baby Park was the easiest course. Maybe you just suck.”

Dinah narrowed her eyes. “I don’t suck… I know very well how to use my items. I just didn’t get any blue shells, unfortunately.”

“Besides,” Lauren drawled, “I’m at a disadvantage.” She gestured to Camila. “I have a whole person putting all their weight on me.”

“Are you calling me fat!?” Camila whined.

“Camz, your legs are in my lap, and you’re snuggling me. I’m surprised I haven’t hurt you with my elbows yet.”

“Oh, you have, but I have great resilience.”

Normani chuckled. “Says the girl that falls off the pyramid when something barely brushes her leg. How are you even a flyer?”

“I’m tiny. Not as tiny as Ariana, but it’s enough.”

“Cheese Land! Let’s do this,” Niall yelled.

Normani turned to Ally. “Babe, can you get me a cola?” Ally nodded and moved to get up, but Normani stopped her once again. “And can you put a straw in and hold it for me? So I can drink?” She batted her eyelashes innocently as Ally nodded once again and made her way to the cooler.

Lauren took that as an opportunity to be an asshat. “Hey, Camz, where’s my cola?”

Camila picked up a can from the ground. Oh, shit, never mind. Camila was way ahead of Lauren. “Here it is. Do you want me to waterfall it?” Lauren nodded and tilted her head back. Camila poured the soda into her mouth. She smiled widely and turned her attention back to the screen just in time for the start of the next race.

“Shit!” Dinah yelled agitatedly. “I messed up my start again!”

Lauren grinned as she passed Normani effortlessly. Normani glared at her from across the room.

“If you have a short attention span, playing this game is a nightmare,” Niall complained. “There’s so much shit going on.”

Dinah let out a frustrated sigh. Lauren noticed that she was struggling to get past ninth place and it was clearly pissing her off. To be fair, Dinah hadn’t played the game in a while. Her cockiness made it seem like she was an expert player.

Lauren also figured that Dinah’s strategy was being super distracting because when she kept looking at Dinah’s portion of the screen, Normani passed her again.

“I keep flying off the edge!” Niall complained.

Lauren cackled. “The homophobia in this game is offensive. Let the gays win, come on!”

Normani swore loudly as a blue shell hit her kart. “Whoever threw that blue shell, your mom’s a hoe,” she hissed.

Dinah giggled deviously.

And then the game ended with Lauren in third, Normani in fifth, Dinah in ninth, and Niall in twelfth. (Somehow Niall got stuck somewhere in the course).

“Fucking Larry… how did he even pass us?” Normani grumbled angrily, looking close to throwing her controller across the room.

Lauren nodded. “Because _somebody_ decided to use a blue shell, and it didn’t even help her out.” She looked at a not-so-guilty looking Dinah Jane. The screen flashed again to reveal the overall scores. Normani was in second, and Lauren was in third. “She’s still in tenth place. She just made an NPC beat us because she’s too proud.”

“I’m still beating Dinah,” Niall said proudly. “This is my greatest accomplishment since my amazing English grade.”

“You’re barely beating me, Leprechaun,” Dinah growled. “You’re in ninth overall!”

Ally came back with Normani’s cola and held it out for her. Normani smiled gratefully as she took a big sip of her drink from the straw. Lauren had to laugh at Ally’s big, dopey grin as she pulled it away when Normani was finished and sat down next to her.

The next map was Wild Woods. “Ooh, it looks fancy,” Camila remarked brightly. “Look at all those trees!”

“Shh, Camzi, I’m tryna’ concentrate.”

Miraculously, Dinah did not mess up her start and was surprisingly in third place when they started. Lauren kept knocking Camila with her elbow as she turned the kart. She felt a little bad because Camila’s little squeaks of surprise worried her, but it was her fault for sitting next to her, right? Lauren refused to claim responsibility if she broke her ribs.

“Oh, so now Baby Mario wants to play hard?” Normani groaned. “It was more fun when I was fighting Lauren for the top spot. How’re you doing by the way?”

“Tenth,” Lauren said bashfully, “and it’s Camila’s fault for being in the way.”

Camila scowled. “Uh, excuse me? You could ask me to move!”

Lauren chuckled. “You’ll say no.”

Her girlfriend raised a brow. “Oh, yeah? Try me.”

“Can you please move?”

“No.”

“I rest my case.”

“Second place! Hell yeah!” Normani cheered as she crossed the finish line. Niall grunted as he focused on the screen, coming in seventh place.

Dinah, on the other hand, was totally determined to beat Lauren. “You fell behind, Lauser. I’m gonna beat you. I’m gonna beat you…” She passed her and crossed the finish line right before Lauren. Dinah screamed loudly and shook her fist triumphantly. “Hell yeah! I did it! I did it!”

Lauren stared at her twelfth place spot in disbelief. First of all, who passed her after Dinah? Second of all, she _never_ did terribly in a _Mario Kart 8_ game. What the hell happened to her great karting skills? Her poor ego was bruised beyond measure, and she damned if she let it happen again. “Camila, go sit somewhere else,” she ordered. “You’re throwing me off my game.”

Camila pouted and swung her legs off of Lauren’s lap. She made her way over to Ashley and sat down in her lap. Ashley couldn’t contain her smirk as Camila relaxed into her. Her nostrils flared, and her nose scrunched up in disgust. “Wait, Ashley is that-”

“Gasoline? Yes,” Ashley finished for her. “Not the devil’s lettuce. Not yet, at least.”

Ally gasped softly. “Oh, my God…”

“Relax, Lauren, you’re fifth overall,” Normani assured her. “I’m first, Niall’s ninth, and Dinah is still tenth. This game wasn’t too much of a failure.”

“Gee, thanks, Mani,” Lauren said sarcastically. “I belong in the top spot.”

“Final race…” Dinah bit her lip. “I can do this.”

“I’m gonna redeem myself!” Lauren screamed loudly.

The race was neck and neck. At first, Normani took the lead while Lauren and Niall fought for the third place spot aggressively. And then Lauren fell behind on the second lap because of a fucking banana peel. Dinah was pushed up to fourth place, thanks to a Bullet Bill, but she fell behind again. Lauren’s palms were so sweaty she could hardly hold onto the controller properly.

“Holy… steady…” Lauren held her breath.

“YES!” Normani screamed. “Second place!” She wrapped her arms around Ally. “Did you pray for me, baby?” Ally returned the hug and nodded into her girlfriend’s shoulder. “God helps the faithful, should have known.”

Niall, Lauren, and Dinah finished a few seconds later, sixth, seventh, and eighth in that order. Lauren sighed agitatedly and ran a hand through her hair.

“I won!” Normani shouted excitedly as she gestured to the flashing overall scoreboard. “I freaking won! I can’t believe it.”

“Eighth ain’t bad,” Niall muttered.

Lauren smiled sadly. “Camz, you better make up for ruining my chances.”

Dinah threw her controller down. “I quit life!” She jumped off the couch and began to kick the controller, but Harry stopped her. Lauren probably would have done the same thing. Those Wii remotes were _not_ cheap.

“Such a sore loser,” Louis noted. “I bet she’s a terrible winner, too.”

“She is,” Harry informed him. “She’ll win if we’re playing the easy one, and you won’t hear the end of it.”

Dinah flipped him off. “Screw you. This is so embarrassing. I’m gonna go sing my feelings out.”

Camila’s face lit up excitedly. “Speaking of singing, when are we getting that Lauren and Dinah duet?” She flashed Lauren a big grin. “It is the reason why I came over here, after all.” Lauren and Dinah looked over at each other. Were they planning to do the duet? Yes. But now? Maybe not.

Niall clapped his hands together, lips curving into a small smile. “I think that’s a great idea! Perhaps Dinah will finally calm down after the good ol’ strum of the guitar and amazing vocals.”

Dinah’s eyebrows waggled. “Well, what do you say, Lauser?”

Lauren hesitated and then smiled. “Alright. Let’s do it. Niall, get your guitar out.”

The blonde hopped onto his feet and sauntered over to his guitar case. Harry turned his chair around so he was facing Niall. Ashley also took that as a cue to push Camila off her lap. Camila huffed in annoyance and walked back over to the armchair that she was previously in. Dinah held her hand out and beckoned Lauren over to her. Lauren tossed her hair to the side and marched over to Dinah. She engulfed Lauren in a hug, swaying them back and forth while Niall tuned his guitar.

“Alright, we’re ready when you are, buddy,” Lauren said as she gently pushed Dinah away.

Niall’s expression brightened as he began to play the opening chords of “Follow Your Arrow”.

“I’d say she’s the queen of following her arrow,” Dinah complimented, nudging Lauren’s side playfully.

Lauren rolled her eyes. “Haha, thanks,” she giggled.

_“If you save yourself for marriage, you're a bore_

_If you don't save yourself for marriage, you're a whore-able person-”_ Lauren’s eyes widened as Dinah flourished her hand and then pointed right at Lauren. She stopped singing and narrowed her eyes at her best friend. “Bish, that’s not true!”

Dinah just grinned devilishly.

_“If you won't have a drink, then you're a prude_

_But they'll call you a drunk as soon as you down the first one_

_If you can't lose the weight, then you're just fat-”_

“Shut up!” Dinah scoffed as she glared at her. Lauren stifled a giggle.

_“But if you lose too much, then you're on crack_

_You're damned if you do, and you're damned if you don't_

_So you might as well just do whatever you want”_

Lauren wrapped an arm around Dinah’s waist, giving her an encouraging smile. Dinah wasn’t very confident about the chorus in rehearsals, but Lauren was sure she’d sound fine with her. Their friends’ ovaries would explode even if Dinah sounded like a dying hyena.

_“So, make lots of noise_

_Kiss lots of boys_

_Or kiss lots of girls, if that's something you're into_

_When the straight and narrow gets a little too straight_

_Roll up a joint, or don't_

_Just follow your arrow wherever it points, yeah_

_Follow your arrow wherever it points”_

“S’alright,” Lauren hummed. She glanced over at her best friend who had an apprehensive look.  “Dinah Jane.”

_“If you don't go to church, you'll go to hell”_

Dinah pointed right at Ashley who almost choked on her cola. She then lazily pointed at Ally next. Ally’s eyebrows rose in amusement.

_“If you're the first one on the front row, you're a self-righteous son of a-”_

Ally gawked at her, silently pleading Dinah to _not_ say anything crude.

_“Can't win for losing_

_You'll just disappoint 'em_

_Just 'cause you can't beat 'em_

_Don't mean you should join 'em”_

Lauren smiled proudly at Dinah and joined back in for the chorus. Lauren taking the low part while Dinah had the melody.

_“Make lots of noise_

_Kiss lots of boys_

_Or kiss lots of girls, if that's something you're into_

_When the straight and narrow gets a little too straight_

_Roll up a joint, or don't_

_Just follow your arrow wherever it points, yeah_

_Follow your arrow wherever it points”_

 

_“Say what you think_

_Love who you love_

_'Cause you just got so many trips 'round the sun_

_Yeah, you only_

_Only live once”_

Lauren stopped as Dinah nailed the last part of the bridge. Seriously, Lauren’s sexuality might have just been defined by Dinah’s vocals and not Camila’s skirt.

_“So, make lots of noise_

_Kiss lots of boys_

_Or kiss lots of girls, if that's what you're into-”_ Lauren nearly choked on her breath when Dinah came over and kissed her cheek innocently. Though, it may not have been innocent. Dinah had a sly smirk on her lips.

_“When the straight and narrow_

_Gets a little too straight_

_Roll up a joint…”_

“I would,” Lauren said mischievously.

“Please, don’t,” Dinah said at the exact same time.

Dinah and Lauren exchanged baffled looks before finishing the song off.

_“And follow your arrow wherever it points, yeah_

_Follow your arrow wherever it points”_

Their friends burst into applause. Lauren’s cheeks burned bright red at all the praise. Okay, she was good at singing, but not that good? Lauren smiled widely and threw her arms around Dinah who hugged her back quickly. “God, I love you. I love you so much, nugget,” Lauren whispered in Dinah’s ear. Dinah squeezed her tightly and mumbled her agreement before pulling away. Camila jumped out of her chair and bounded over to her, wrapping her arms around her tightly. Lauren couldn’t resist. She tilted Camila’s head up and gave her a searing kiss. Ashley hooted and hollered loudly as Camila kissed her back. From the corner of her eye, she saw Dinah’s wide grin fall. The glee in her best friend’s features disappeared at the speed of light. She looked desolate, deprived of all emotions.

Dinah cleared her throat awkwardly and mumbled something under her breath. And then she was gone. Off to get more cola, maybe, but when Lauren pulled away, she couldn’t help but wonder what happened. Dinah was always a mystery. Lauren was always clear about her goals and what she wanted in life. Her visions and dreams were sometimes unattainable, but Dinah was a different story. Lauren was a visionary, Dinah was facile. Some days she didn’t even know what Dinah was thinking or feeling. Was she lying about being fine all the time?

Camila pulled her in for another kiss, and suddenly all worries about Dinah were gone. Dinah would be okay, Lauren believed.

It was probably nothing; she shouldn’t worry. Her best friend was fine. Her best friend was _fine_.

She wished she was right.

**END OF PART ONE**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow i'm a little emo... lauren's story is finished so that's all you'll hear from the loner gay. before i begin with dinah's story, i'm gonna (probably) take a two week break to gather my thoughts and make sure my writing is the best it can be so expect the second part to begin no later than the 25th!


	11. eleven: i think you're capable of doing anything, dinah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have returned after a two week break as promised, and things could not have been more stressful and exciting for me. not only am i swamped with work, but i saw camila on sunday and i am stiLL not over it. i cried twice ngl. she's such a kind and pure soul that loves her fans so much and her live vocals have improved sooo much over the years. anyways, here is the beginning of the second part! enjoyyy

**PART TWO: THE IMPRUDENT**

“Dinah… Dinah…”

_Mmph. Leave me alone._

“Dinah, seriously, stop being like this…”

Dinah felt something tickle her ear. She rolled onto her back and opened her eyes quickly. Lauren was sitting over her, holding a white feather and grinning widely. Wherever Lauren got that, Dinah had no freaking clue. The blonde grumbled and rolled back onto her side again. “No,” she mumbled. “Leave me alone.”

“C’mon, we have the stupid _The_ _Picture of Dorian Gray_ essay and it’s not gonna be done by you being lazy.”

She snorted. “I skipped a grade. I don’t need to do an essay. Also, English sucks dick.”

Lauren gasped in shock. Dinah knew that was a sore subject for her best friend. English was Lauren’s _favorite_ class after all. “Dinah! How could you say that?”

“Because I don’t see the point in studying a language I’ve known since birth. It’s stupid. Who gives a frick if it’s supposed to be ‘their’ and ‘they’re’ or ‘your’ and ‘you’re’? They all sound the same!”

“Well, Dinah, grammar is very important-”

“Says who? Jesus? I didn’t see no commandment saying ‘thine shalt use the proper grammar of the Lord.’”

Dinah couldn’t see her friend, but she could tell that Lauren was smirking. “It’s _thou_ ,” she corrected her.

“Yeah, yeah, I know. I did that on purpose, idiot,” she fired back. “Don’t think I don’t know the Bible inside out. My mama raised me right.”

Lauren chuckled and shifted on Dinah’s bed so she was lying down next to her. Dinah wasn’t rude (a majority of the time), so she flipped over once again so she was facing her best friend. It was then that she realized that Lauren had really pretty eyes. Okay, that was a given. Green eyes were rare and very attractive, but Lauren’s eyes had an aura that made Dinah feel hypnotized by her gaze. It wasn’t totally gay of her to think that, right?

Dinah established that something wasn’t “right” with her in the seventh grade. First of all, she kept having a recurring dream about Rihanna that sure wasn’t about performing on stage with her. And then, the basketball players came. Dinah wasn’t friends with Normani Kordei, but damn, she looked good in basketball shorts. She totally didn’t bail hanging out with Lauren and the boys just so she could watch the girl’s basketball team. Her mama always told her she had to marry a strong boy that would help her take over the dairy farm. Screw that! Dinah was not meant for the farm life. But the whole “am I a lesbian?” question plagued her mind, Lauren Jauregui after puberty was enough to answer her question.

So after a heart-to-heart with her best friend, she learned that Lauren was going through the same thing. That moment changed everything. Dinah saw Lauren in a new light, a very gay light.

“I think someone has a crush in English,” Dinah sang teasingly. “That’s why you’re so obsessed with that class.”

“On who?” Lauren challenged with furrowed brows.

Dinah grinned. “Camila Cabello.”

“Shut up! She’s a freshman. I don’t date freshmen,” she argued.

“Hey, I’m fourteen years old, same age as her.”

Lauren shook her head. “Actually, she just turned fifteen, and I wouldn’t date you.”

Dinah feigned offense, but she actually was a little offended. She was the hottest chick in Silver. Who wouldn’t want to date her? “Wow, that’s rude. Here I was about to confess my undying love for you,” she grumbled.

The green-eyed girl’s face contorted, and that concerned Dinah. “I wouldn’t want to date you not because you’re undesirable. I wouldn’t want to ruin things with you,” she informed her. “You matter more to me than any girl will ever.”

_Shit. Damn. There go the freaking fireworks in my heart._

“I… Lauren…” Dinah breathed out, “that’s so nice of you to say.”

Lauren smiled slightly. “I mean it. If I ever fucked things up with you, I don’t know what I’d do with myself. I mean, damn it, you punched Austin Mahone for me back in the goddamn second grade. You’ve always had my back…” She exhaled shakily. Dinah could practically feel the genuine emotion pour from Lauren’s soul. It made Dinah’s heart soar. Lauren was special, so, so special. How could Dinah ever deserve someone like her?

Dinah cracked a smile in return. “I’m never leaving you, Lauren, ever. You should know that. Our first fight… damn it, remember that? It was so stupid. You wanted to hang out with Harry, and I got so mad because I thought he was stealing you from me; you’d always laugh at his stupid jokes. I started hanging out with Niall then. You got so fucking pissed ‘cause we thought we were getting new best friends.”

Lauren laughed softly, nose crinkling in amusement. “Oh my God, that was so funny. I was so pissed and then I came to your window like fucking Romeo and was like: ‘Dinah, get your ass down here! We can’t fight like this.’”

Dinah giggled loudly. “Shit, Laur, that was iconic. Fighting is not our thing, right?”

“Right,” Lauren agreed.

“We’re perfect.”

“Totally.”

Silence overcame them. Dinah’s gaze couldn’t leave Lauren’s face. She had to be sculpted by the gods because she was gorgeous. Her lips parted slightly. She couldn’t even fathom that Lauren was _this_ pretty. It made Dinah wonder if she was even pretty at all. Yes, she was obviously checking out her best friend. No, she had no worries about getting caught.

Lauren inhaled quickly, nearly making Dinah jump. “Dinah, can I ask you something?”

“Anything,” Dinah said without a second thought.

“Would you freak out if I kissed you?”

_Uh… what?_

Dinah’s eyes widened, and Lauren immediately noticed. “Shit, I’m sorry-”

“I wouldn’t freak out,” Dinah said. _I actually would like it very much._

Lauren let out a sigh of relief. “It’s just… we both said we’re gay, right? We probably won’t know how to kiss a girl until our first girlfriends…” Her cheeks tinted in embarrassment, but Dinah wasn’t going to call her out on it. “Why don’t we just get it out of the way?”

“Are you sure…?” Dinah bit her lip nervously. “This is your first kiss, Lauren. Mine, too, I don’t know if you should waste it on me-”

She was cut off by lips crashing into hers. Dinah was so shocked by the action that she didn’t even react at first. Lauren basically was kissing a dead fish’s lips that definitely didn’t taste like dead fish because Dinah had strawberry lipgloss on. _What the fuck are you doing? Kiss her back, shithead,_ Dinah thought. Before she could do anything, Lauren pulled away.

“Uh, I, I’m sorry, Dinah-” Lauren stammered. “It just came out. I didn’t know-”

Dinah gave absolutely zero fucks in that moment. She closed her eyes, cupped Lauren’s cheeks and kissed her properly. Their noses accidentally bumped as Lauren kissed her back. Now, this was how a first kiss went down properly. Dinah wouldn’t be surprised if fireworks started going off and Kris Jenner held a phone nearby shouting, “Dinah, you’re doing amazing, sweetie!” She smiled gently and opened her eyes finally only to find Lauren doing the same thing. It was like an electric shock filled her veins at their eye contact, and she hoped Lauren felt it too.

Friends didn’t kiss like this.

Dinah and Lauren had to be more than just friends.

This had to mean something-

“Dinah,” Lauren hissed and pulled away. “What was Operation Cherry Blossoms at Night?”

“The fuck?” Dinah blinked in confusion.

“Dinah Jane!” Lauren yelled. “Are you paying attention?”

_Oh, shit, that’s not Lauren._

She wasn’t a fourteen year old in her bedroom either, nope. It was December 2017; she was a senior, and Lauren Jauregui wasn’t making out with her. Nor would she probably for a while because she was shoving her tongue down her girlfriend’s, not Dinah Jane’s, throat.

Dinah snapped her head back to the front of the room. Of course, history class, also known as “The World’s Biggest Vagblock.”

“Sorry, zoned out,” Dinah mumbled.

“Clearly,” Mr. Howell stated flatly. “Now to repeat my question again… what was Operation Cherry Blossoms at Night?”

“An operation.”

A few snickers erupted from her classmates.

“Well, yes, but why was it important?”

 _Oh, this is easy!_ Dinah smiled. “It took place at night… when it was dark and spooky.” The class burst out laughing. What? It was an honest answer and definitely true. Why would they name an operation ‘Cherry Blossoms at Night’ if it wasn’t taking place at night?

“No, Dinah-”

The bell rang loudly. “Bell ex-machina,” Dinah sighed in relief, “see you bitches on Monday.” She slung her backpack over her shoulder and left the room without a second glance.

High school was the worst; high school in Texas made Dinah want to punch someone in the dick. Everyone was a typical high school stereotype, and if you didn’t fit in a box, you were outcasted. The hallways were covered in green and red decorations, depictions of baby Jesus and a few mistletoes on occasion. Dinah made sure she walked under the mistletoes without anyone around her. Kids poured out of classes and crowded around their lockers to get their coats. It rarely snowed in Texas, but it was still cold for Dinah’s standards. She really did not want to walk around in 40-degree temperatures.

“Hey, Dinah!” Ally Brooke called excitedly, waving her over to a table set up with a bunch of pastries. Dinah’s face lit up, and she immediately sauntered over to her friend.

“Smallz, what’s up?” she greeted.

Ally gestured to the table. “The student council is holding a fundraiser so we can adopt a family. We’ll be sending gifts to families in need so we need the money to actually buy those gifts!”

Dinah nodded. “Oh… that’s really nice. We need some more good people out there like you.”

“Would you like a cookie?”

She’d never say no to a cookie. “Sure. How much?”

“$4.00,” Ally answered.

Dinah nearly choked on her breath. “What the heck!? Are y’all a rip-off Starbucks? I wouldn’t even pay $4.00 for a hamburger!”

“It’s for a good cause…”

“Feeding Dinah Jane Hansen for free is a good cause too,” Dinah shot back. She grabbed one of the trays of cookies and winked at her friend. “So I’ll be taking all these and fucking off somewhere.”

Ally gasped. “Dinah! Put that back!”

Dinah grinned. She wasn’t actually going to take the whole thing. That’d be very cruel of her. Instead, she resolved to just take one and put the rest back. “Thanks, Smallz,” she said with a wink as she stuffed the cookie into her mouth and then sauntered off.

On the way down to the parking lot she passed Lauren. Dinah didn’t see her at first because she was too busy trying to untangle her earbuds. She was really in the mood to forget her struggles by blasting Post Malone and then crying alone in her car. Her best friend harshly tapped on her shoulder.

“Hey, you,” Lauren greeted.

“Mmph,” Dinah hummed with her mouth full. She swallowed her chewed-up cookie and grinned. “Hey.”

Lauren giggled softly and flipped her hair to the side. Wanna know what else was flipping? Dinah’s stomach. Heart eyes, motherfucker. “Ugh, you’re so gross, Dinah. Where did you even get that cookie?”

“Ally’s selling them for a fundraiser,” Dinah replied. “But I ain’t got the cash for a $4.00 cookie so I stole one.”

Her friend’s brows furrowed. “That’s the same price as a Girl Scout cookie.”

Dinah scoffed. “Yeah, but those are $4.00 a box, not $4.00 a cookie. Get it right!” She scowled. “Ally thinks that everyone here is as rich as her daddy. I don’t flipping think so! My mama has to get her dairy from Betsy Junior.”

Lauren’s face lit up with amusement as she leaned against the wall of the school. “Betsy Junior? Why not Betsy?”

“Ah… Betsy’s had it rough these past few days. Same with Peppa the Cow, Johnny Milkyseed, Courage the Cowardly Cow, and Daenerys Taracowryn.”

Her best friend snorted and rolled her eyes. “What kind of names are your cows? Dinah, what-?”

How dare she! Those were some great names for the cows. Dinah crossed her arms over her chest. “If you must know, my siblings and I worked very hard to come up with those names. I named Dany after you ‘cause of your stupid crush on Emilia Clarke. I ain’t here for your judging.”

Lauren shook her head quickly. “I wasn’t judging. I’m just…” A grin broke out on her perfect lips. “They’re so _you,_ Dinah. I fucking love them.”

Dinah grinned shyly. “Well, they’re not _all_ my genius ideas…”

“Don’t be modest,” Lauren warned her with a playful scowl. Dinah backed off. She always would. She’d do anything if Lauren asked her to except jump off a cliff. That was out of the question. Lauren reached over and squeezed Dinah’s bicep, flashing her a playful grin. “It’s the Christmas season. You gotta always be cheerful, and that means taking pride in everything you do.”

Dinah raised a brow as she barely glanced down at Lauren’s hand on her bicep. “I don’t think you understand how the Hansens celebrate Christmas. I stopped getting good gifts when I was like ten. My older sister will be home for Christmas soon, and Mama spends all our money on her.”

“You can always spend Christmas with my family and me,” Lauren offered.

“Nah, it’s my last year with them,” Dinah quickly said. “I don’t wanna leave on a bad note with my family.”

Lauren gave her a reassuring smile and squeeze. Her phone buzzed in her coat’s pocket and Lauren reached to take it out. “Oh, looks like the girlfriend’s calling.” Dinah exhaled annoyedly, hoping that Lauren wouldn’t notice. “I’ll see you around?”

Dinah nodded. “Of course,” she answered coolly, “you can’t get rid of me so easily.”

Her best friend gave her best friend one last bicep squeeze and then walked off, bringing her phone to her ear. “Hey, babe, I’m on my way now. Do you need anything from your locker?”

Dinah watched Lauren walk off, and time seemed to stop around her. All she could focus on was the fact that she was letting Lauren walk away to meet her girlfriend, and Dinah had so many unsaid things hanging on her lips.

 _I need you. Things at home haven’t been great_ , or _I wanna come out to my family, but I’m scared_ , and most importantly, _I’m so fucking in love with you. Why can’t you see that?_

The blonde took a deep breath and took off for the parking lot. She stuffed her earbuds in her ears and shut her eyes.

Dinah kicked open the doors to Harrison High and shielded her face when a giant gust of wind hit her. She swore under her breath as her blonde hair flew wildly in the wind. Damn her thick hair being a total inconvenience when it was supposed to be her best asset. Dinah grabbed her hood and pulled it over her head to prevent her hair from flying out again.

She noticed Harry, Niall, and Louis chilling by Niall’s car. Dinah sent them a friendly wave. She’d talk to them later when she didn’t want to stab her own eyes out with a fork.

Dinah, despite claiming she was poor as hell, had a nice Ford Fusion. In fact, Dinah should stop claiming she was poor when she had a huge as heck farmhouse. Farmers were poor; therefore Dinah was poor, according to her logic. She opened the car door, threw her backpack on the front seat and climbed in.

She sighed loudly and started the car, plugging her phone in and going into reverse. Of course, some dumb freshman had to step right behind her car while she was pulling out. Dinah honked her horn loudly. “Asshole! Get out of the fucking way!” Dinah screamed. The poor girl scampered to the side to allow Dinah to pull out of her parking lot. She shifted into drive and sped off onto the highway.

Dinah was going way above the speed limit, but there were no cops around to stop her. Ariana’s dad could suck her dick for all she cared. And Dinah Jane Hansen was having one hell of a good time. Her car’s bass was booming, and Dinah felt like she was on top of the world with her music up high and her car going ninety miles an hour.

Post Malone’s amazing voice was cut off by a ringtone she specifically set for the one and only, Camila Cabello.

_“I see you driving ‘round town with the girl I love, and I’m like ‘fuck you.’ Ooh, ooh, ooh.”_

Dinah took her sweet ass time answering her phone. Her car had it set up so she could answer calls from the radio and talk on speaker, but just as luck would have it, a fucking squirrel jumped out in front of the car. Dinah screamed at the top of her lungs and swerved her car out of the way. Thank the Lord no one was coming. She was completely in control of the car. Totally, yeah.

It was honestly a miracle Dinah hadn’t gotten into an accident. The phone stopped ringing, and Dinah groaned loudly. She’d have to call her back tragically. “Siri, call Walz,” Dinah ordered as she brought her car to a slow seventy-five miles per hour.

_“No contact name matches ‘Walz.’”_

Oh, right. She had changed Camila’s contact name recently.

“Alright. Siri, call ‘Clumsy Homewrecking Bitch That Stole My Girl.’”

_“Calling ‘Clumsy Homewrecking Bitch That Stole My Girl.’”_

Dinah smiled proudly at the perfect contact name. Man, Dinah was such a genius. No one could tell her otherwise.

 _“Dinah!”_ Camila hissed into the phone. _“Where the hell are you?”_

“Why, hello to you too, Walz,” Dinah greeted coolly. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”

_“Dinah, seriously… cheer practice is right now.”_

“CHEER PRACTICE IS _WHAT!?_ ” Dinah screamed and slammed on the brakes

_“Dinah!?”_

Dinah moaned loudly. “Damn it. Okay. Thanks for calling me, Mila. I’ll be there, ten minutes top.” She hung up without even listening to Camila’s rushed out questions.

Man, she was so screwed.

* * *

“I can’t believe you forgot about cheer practice,” Normani teased as she stretched her legs. Dinah was holding onto Normani’s foot to make sure it didn’t lift up in the air. It was a good stretch for flexibility, but Dinah couldn’t be bothered to do anything flexible at that moment. She got enough exercise running across the parking lot to get to cheer practice on time.

Dinah rolled her eyes. “Shut up, Mani. My mind was elsewhere.”

“You’re lucky Camila got Ariana to back down. She was about to skin you alive,” she continued.

“Lucky me,” Dinah sighed, “my best friend is dating the head cheerleader’s right hand.”

Normani chuckled. “And what does that make me?”

“The left hand.”

“Good answer.”

Dinah glanced in the direction of Ariana who was currently doing some lift practice with some of the freshmen. Ariana looked agitated. But then again, when didn’t Ariana look agitated?

“And without you both, Ariana is useless. A cheerleader can’t cheer without shaking her pom-poms, she’ll just look stupid,” Dinah concluded. Normani stretched her arm and touched her toes, sending Dinah a big grin. “And that’s… how Sue sees it.”

Normani burst out laughing. “Ugh, you nerd, I hate you.” Dinah let go of Normani’s foot and moved to mimic Dinah’s stretch. Normani was surprisingly very pleasant company. She half-expected her to be intimidating and rip her head off when she wasn’t looking. But Normani was actually a bit of a softie, Dinah learned. A part of her wondered if Ally was the reason she wasn’t as scary.

Dinah grunted as she felt her muscles stretch out like somebody was pulling her leg across the whole room. “When are basketball tryouts?” she asked.

“I don’t play basketball anymore,” Normani replied with a quirked brow. “I quit after freshman year so I could devote all my time to cheerleader.”

Right. She knew that. Dinah kept thinking it was junior high and Normani was the star of the basketball team. “But do you miss it?”

“Sometimes,” Normani said with a shrug. “I mostly just miss team bonding nights and the thrill of having the whole school cheer for me.” A small, giddy smile formed on her friend’s lips. “But nowadays, I only care about one person being my cheerleader… and she cheers for me every single game.”

“Ugh, barf. You guys are adorable,” Dinah muttered.

“We really are,” Normani sighed dreamily. “She’s the best.”

Dinah smiled knowingly and switched to stretch her other leg. As much as she was happy for Normani, she couldn’t help but feel jealous. Normani managed to get the girl. Even if the girl was the pastor’s daughter, she still got her. Dinah wondered if the only way she could attract Lauren’s attention is if she got her own internalized homophobia. Maybe she should exhibit some self-destructive behavior, dye her hair brown- God, why wasn’t she good enough!?

Normani cleared her throat, pulling Dinah from her thoughts. The blonde bit her lip and raised a questioning brow. “Do you wanna grab dinner after this?” Normani asked.

“Uh, I think I’ll be okay.” Dinah shrugged. “I kind of want to spend my evening alone.” Well, as alone as she could get. The Hansen household was a zoo, even though Dinah had her own barn bedroom.

Normani furrowed her brows worryingly. “You seem kind of down-”

“I’m fine,” Dinah interrupted her quickly.

“No, you’re not,” Normani challenged.

Dinah glared at her, but then softened her gaze. She was right. Normani seemed to know her better than everyone else in the room. “No, I’m not.”

“Let me take you to dinner at Twin Lakes. Order your Dinah Jane special,” Normani said. Dinah’s eyes bugged out. No way! That shit was expensive. She shouldn’t- “I’ll pay, Dinah. Seriously, I get free meals ‘cause I’m an employee.”

Oh, shit. She wondered if Lauren was going to be working. The last thing she needed was to see her best friend see her burst into tears over unrequited love. “Does Lauren work Fridays? I know after football season ended she got switched around a bit,” Dinah voiced her concern.

Normani shrugged. “Usually. Lately, she’s been trading shifts.”

No Lauren? No chance of Dinah possibly getting caught spilling out her sob story. “You know what?” Dinah smiled at her gently. “I’ll take you up on that offer. We can meet there after practice.”

“Sounds dandy,” Normani sang playfully.

“Normani! I need your help over here!” Ariana huffed impatiently. Normani groaned and got up to her feet.

“Well, better go help her before she rips someone’s hair out,” Normani joked and sent her a wave.

Dinah waved and went back to stretching. She got up on her feet and decided to do that one impossible stretch: touching her toes with her fingers. That shit was not easy, especially since Dinah was tall as hell. She grunted and leaned over, attempting to touch her toes. Dinah felt like an idiot and probably looked like one too. Her hands were barely going past her knees. Ugh, why couldn’t she be as skinny and flexible as Ariana or Camila-?

“You’re doing it wrong,” came Camila’s voice from behind her.

Dinah snorted, making no attempt to fix herself. “Really? I don’t think I asked for your opinion, as _pleasant_ as it was,” she snarked, hoping Camila would back off.

“That’s what I’m here for. To deliver unwanted opinions and witty one-liners.”

That wasn’t supposed to be funny, no. The only person who laughed at Camila’s “funny” remarks was Lauren Jauregui, but of course, Dinah had to laugh, too. She brought one of her hands up to stifle the giggle. She could practically feel Camila beaming with pride from behind her. “Alright, I’ll admit that shit was kind of funny.”

“Thanks, China,” Camila answered gleefully.

Cue the awkward silence.

“Do you, uh… want me to help you?” she offered timidly.

Dinah nodded. “Yeah. That’d be nice.” Camila cleared her throat awkwardly and closed the distance between her and Dinah. Small hands grasped Dinah’s waist, and Dinah’s cheeks felt very hot. The cheerleader’s front was pressed against Dinah’s ass, and shit, that was kind of… gay. Oh, no, no, no…

“You have a nice butt,” Camila said.

That was what Dinah thought Camila said, at least.

Dinah choked on her breath. “What!?”

“I said, try bending over further now,” Camila repeated.

Dinah could’ve sworn Camila complimented her butt. And honestly, she was a little offended that she wasn’t actually complimenting it. How dare she! It was all her dumb imagination. She nodded slowly and attempted to reach further. Her hips wiggled slightly, but Camila managed to keep her in place. It was definitely weird having Camila, her best friend’s girlfriend, touch her like this.

Wait, Dinah was supposed to _hate_ her. Camila, the ultimate hooligan, stole Lauren’s heart. She wanted little to nothing to do with her! Stupid Dinah, stupid Dinah, and her stupid lesbian tendencies. Her heart was _racing,_ and it was all Camila Cabello’s fault.

She successfully touched her toes, and she squealed loudly. “Oh my gosh! I did it!” Dinah exclaimed excitedly. She stood back up and spun around. “Mila! I did it… I can’t believe it!”

Camila clapped. “See? That wasn’t so hard, was it? You’re a natural.” She gently patted her on the shoulder. “You just need to find what works for you.”

Dinah paused for a moment and then exhaled. “But you were the one that helped me… maybe you’re what works for me,” she muttered stupidly.

The cheerleader’s eyebrows shot upwards. Dinah half-expected her to run off, but instead her lips curved into a small smile. “Yeah, maybe. You just need a little support, DJ, and anything’s possible.”

“You sound like Lauren,” Dinah remarked. “She thinks I can do anything, but that’s far from true. I’m just… stupid. I got all brain smarts but no common sense.” She had no idea why she was disclosing this information to Camila. Maybe it was because Camila seemed easy to talk to, but Dinah still didn’t trust her that much.

Camila smiled gently. “I think you’re capable of doing anything, Dinah.” Dinah raised a brow curiously. “You’ve got that determined aura. I’m sure that if you had a goal in mind, you’d fight to achieve it. I admire you for that. I wish I was as strong as you.”

The conversation seemed to have taken a much more mature turn. Maybe Lauren told Camila things about Dinah that she had no idea had ever been disclosed. Dinah certainly didn’t know too much about Camila. “Lauren’s the type of girl that only keeps those with a good heart and a strong soul around,” Dinah replied. “I think you have both.”

Woah, Woah, Woah, when did this turn into a gay love fest? Fuck! Dinah didn’t even like Camila more than as a casual friend that she had a one-sided rivalry with. Maybe there was more to Camila than she thought. The homewrecker had to have some sort of charms up her sleeves.

“You’re nice, Dinah,” Camila finally replied, breaking Dinah from her thoughts. “I can see why Lauren talks about you all the time.” Dinah wanted to scream. Lauren talked about her all the time. Hell yes. “I hope we can be good friends. I… really want to be approved of by someone so important to Lauren.”

Alright, fine. That was reasonable. Dinah could definitely pretend to be good friends with Camila just to make Lauren happy while secretly getting dirt on her. She was, after all, the greatest actress of all time. “Yeah,” Dinah said with a smile. “I hope we can be good friends, too.”

She stuck her hand out awkwardly.

Camila raised a brow and then grinned before shaking it.

“To new friends?”

“To new friends.”

The handshake felt awkward; both girls were gripping onto each other’s hands for dear life. And Dinah wasn’t going to lie, Camila had a really soft hand. Lauren must love holding it. Camila didn’t seem to want to let go of her hand either. So the two of them just stood there, shaking each other’s hands and giving each other cheesy grins.

Normani came up next to them and huffed. “Weirdos. Are y’all making a secret handshake without me?”

“No, Mani, I’m clearly trying to break Dinah’s wrist,” Camila deadpanned.

“Not if I break yours first,” Dinah challenged.

“Oh, it’s on!”

Normani rolled her eyes. “You’re both literally five-year-olds. Quit it.” Dinah and Camila dropped their hands.

Dinah crossed her arms. “Way to ruin the fun. Walz and I were bonding.”

Camila nodded eagerly. “Yeah, we both were binding our souls together. We’re becoming one. Call us Dinmila…”

“Caminah is a better name,” Dinah added.

Camila snapped her fingers and grinned. “ _Perfecto._ See? I like her already. I think I’ll keep her.”

“Y’all are so strange,” Normani noted. She plopped down onto the gym floor. “Let’s stretch before Frodo’s long lost sister yells at us for getting off task.”

* * *

Dinah never went anywhere on time. On time for her was ten minutes past the time they promised to meet. Late for Dinah Jane was thirty minutes, so when Dinah walked into Twin Lakes fifteen minutes past seven, she was only slightly late. The diner was crowded just like every Friday night. Now that football was no longer in season (Harrison didn’t even get past the first round of the playoffs), the diner became a very crowded hotspot. Dinah pushed past the several people in line for a table, ignoring their confused glares. She trusted Normani to have some sort of employee benefit that would allow her to reserve tables. She almost squealed with joy when she noticed Normani waiting in a booth with a half-finished root beer float.

Dinah trotted over to the booth and slid into the seat across from her friend. “Hey, sorry I’m a little late.” It was only then that she noticed that there was another root beer float. Sweet! Normani got her one too. “Woah, thanks, Mani,” Dinah said cheerfully as she brought the straw to her mouth and sucked that motherfucker dry. Well, not actually, but her float was guaranteed to be gone in about ten minutes maximum.

“If you think fifteen minutes is a little late, I’d like to know what you think an hour is,” Normani remarked with an amused grin. “Everyone’s been looking at me like I’m some sort of table hogger. You’re so damn lucky I already agreed to pay for dinner.”

Dinah shrugged her shoulders, pulling the straw out of her mouth. “You set yourself up for that one, Kordei. Make no mistake.”

“If your mama saw you doing me dirty, how would she react?”

“First of all, Normani, I ain’t doing you dirty because clearly, my clothes are still on.”

Normani nearly spat out her root beer. She covered her mouth and stared at Dinah in shock. Dinah merely smiled triumphantly and swirled her float like she hadn’t said anything outlandish at all. “Geez, tough crowd,” she said.

“Do you ever… do you ever… think before you speak?” Normani inquired with wide eyes as she grabbed a napkin to wipe her mouth.

“Now, why would I do that?” Dinah replied. “Thinking is too long of a process. Conversations can’t pause while I come up with some intelligent answer.”

“So you admit that nothing you say is intelligent…”

Dinah narrowed her eyes. “Mani, I think you need to get your ears checked. Literally, I have never said-”

“It was implied,” Normani interrupted her. “It’s okay, your secret's safe with me. I won’t tell the school that you cheated your way up a grade.”

“I’m book smart, not people smart,” Dinah told her truthfully. “All those equations, writing rules, vocabulary, history are so easy to know. That shit’s easy once you find a pattern, and then it’s just applying the concepts over and over again. No matter what you think, the greatest minds that came up with that shit have a method to their madness.” Normani furrowed her brows, interested in what Dinah had to say. Good, Dinah was about to talk up a storm. “My memory’s good as well. I’m able to remember shit I learned years ago easily. Like ‘Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally,” that’s a concept that people forget and they just fuck up their math problems. I remember the important things because the education system here has a formula. Having a good memory of the important shit is a key variable in that. Once you figure out how the formula works, you apply it to everything and suddenly it works out. Sure, there are some obstacles thrown in the way, but those obstacles are just adding one more detail to a very simple concept that you learned when you first learned how to write numbers and letters.” Dinah took a deep breath, a little tired from all her rambling. “School is a constant. Nothing’s ever going to change about how school and learning work, so you use that to your advantage once you figure out how to beat the system,” she rambled, most likely not making any sense at all. That was how Dinah worked anyway. Like most geniuses, there was a method to her madness.

Normani nodded. “I get you, but how does this translate to not being people smart?”

“People are different, and I’ll tell you why: there are seven and a half billion people in the world, and they all have their own formulas. One formula may work for one person, then not work at all for a second person, or only work conditionally with a third person. There are too many variables to keep in mind, and you’ll never completely know how shit works,” Dinah said seriously. “People are inconsistent. There’s no telling when something will change their formula completely and then you’re working on invalid information.” She sighed agitatedly and ran a hand through her hair. “I can never guess which formula works for which person, and I always fuck up… no matter what I do… I just can never-” She choked on her breath. This wasn’t an easy topic for her at all.

“Dinah?” Normani whispered worriedly.

“I’m not smart enough or good enough to know how to do things right. Everyone I love.... I can’t do anything that pleases them. Everything I give them is worth nothing,” Dinah said shakily. “I’m worth nothing.”

Dinah hated crying, and when it happened, she got a bad taste in her mouth. A few tears rolled down her hot cheeks as she sniffled. But Normani, thank God for Normani, reached over and grabbed her hand.

Normani sighed softly. “Dinah… don’t ever say that about yourself. You’re not worth nothing. There are so many people that care about you and cherish you,” she reassured her, running her thumb over Dinah’s hand. “I do.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Ally does.”

“Ally loves _everyone_.”

“Harry does. Niall does. Louis does. Ashley does.”

“They’re different-”

“Camila does. And most importantly, Lauren does.”

Dinah burst into tears. She felt so disgusting for sobbing in the middle of a crowded diner where everyone could see her. Lauren cared about her, yes, but she would always care about her in a way that Dinah didn’t want to be cared about. Dinah was in love with Lauren, so crazy in love with the green-eyed girl that every time she saw her, she just melted away. Senior year was going to be the year that she finally fessed up and got Lauren to call her hers. But the first day of school, Camila Cabello had to step in the picture, and it gave Lauren more hope to chase after the cheerleader.

Normani sucked her breath in loudly. “Oh, Dinah… what’s wrong?”

“Lauren,” Dinah mumbled. “I love Lauren.”

“I know you do. You guys have been so crazy close-”

“Not like that,” Dinah corrected. She took a deep breath. This was the first time she would tell _anyone_ this out loud. She couldn’t believe she was saying it to Camila’s best friend of all people. “Normani… I’m in love with Lauren.” Silence came from the girl across from her. Dinah bowed her head, refusing to look at her reaction. “I love her so much that I let myself get ripped apart so she could be happy. There’s not a day that goes by where I wish I was in Camila’s shoes,” she continued. “Sometimes when I lie down and sleep, all I can think about is how I was Lauren’s first kiss, and there were moments between us that were anything but platonic. I keep asking myself: what changed?” Dinah sighed sadly and looked back up at Normani once again. The girl’s expression was blank. She couldn’t tell if Normani was surprised, upset, interested, or anything, “You’re Camila’s best friend, and I know you’d probably want to put her first. But sometimes I wish she was out of the picture-”

“I know,” Normani interrupted. “I sometimes wish Lauren was out of the picture, too.” Dinah’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. Did that mean Normani loved Camila? Well, shit, Ally would have to fight Camila off with a baseball bat then. Thinking about Ally hitting Camila with a bat made Dinah giggle. Normani shot her a questioning look. Dinah bit her lip and stopped laughing. “I love Lauren, trust me. I’m sure you love Camila in your own weird way, but I miss my best friend. She’s always canceling on me for Lauren.”

Dinah nodded fervently and laughed. “I know! Lauren cancels on me all the time! It’s so fucking annoying!”

“Right? I’m starting to hate their relationship more than love it.” Normani laughed along with her. “At least I have Ally, but she’s usually busy during the week so I’m all alone.”

“God, if you can’t make time for your best friends because of your relationships, you’re a shitty friend.”

“Maybe we should show them that.”

Now, _that_ was an interesting idea. Dinah leaned back against the booth and tilted her head to the side. “And how exactly would we do that?”

“Easy,” Normani smirked. “Dinah Jane Hansen, as of this day, you are now my #1 main girl. I will make our plans top priority.”

“Are you sure Ally won’t beat me up with a baseball bat?” Dinah teased.

“Nah, she’s into pacifism, so you’ll only get the cold shoulder.”

“The deadliest attack of them all!”

Both girls burst out laughing. Dinah held up her root beer float, and Normani did the same. They clinked their glasses together and drank. “This commemorates a new bond and also the beginning of ‘Operation Make Camren So Mad.’”

“We’re gonna make them miss us,” Normani agreed. She pointed at Dinah and winked. “We’re gonna make them go mad.”

“We’re gonna make sure we’re the best they’ve ever had.” Dinah grinned. It was perfect; Dinah could already see Lauren fuming with anger. It probably wouldn’t be enough to make Lauren break up with Camila, but Lauren would hopefully consider throwing Dinah under the bus ever again. She’d worry about seducing Lauren later. Normani didn’t have to help her with that. Lauren would be putty in her hands by the time this was all over.


	12. twelve: you got a heart bigger than the sun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! i'm going to have to push back to two week updates again because it's may, and that means finals and other end of the year projects and tests that will bite me in the ass. things will go back to normal at the end of the month! thanks for understanding.

_“Lauren J_

_Where is she tonight?_

_She’s sleeping with her in a Texan town_

_And she’s fine_

_I think I lost my mind_

_And my wasted time_

_I’m dreaming, alone in my own bed, that she’s mine”_

“Dinaaahhh, can you turn that depressing shit off?” Lauren whined loudly over the music coming from Dinah’s phone. Dinah shook her head and continued untangling the Jauregui’s Christmas lights that were oh-so poorly stuffed away in a Rubbermaid tub.

Lauren scowled in annoyance as she put up a few nutcracker ornaments up on the small fake Christmas tree that the Jauregui family used every year and kept it stuffed under the trailer. “I wanna listen to some good Christmas music like ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’ or ‘Santa Baby’ or ‘Drummer Boy.’”

“Sorry, I untangle the lights? I pick the music.”

Lauren pouted very cutely, and Dinah almost gave in. “But this poor girl! She deserves better than this Davey White who ran off with some girl to a Tennessee town!”

“Well, it’s the story of my life,” Dinah said without thinking.

“Huh?”

Dinah silently cursed. Now, Lauren would be asking questions. “Uh, what I meant to say was… I relate very much to the lyrics.” She began working on a very big knot in the lights. “I had my own Davey White, once upon a time.”

“Well, if I ever find her, I’m gonna kick her ass,” Lauren told her honestly, walking away from the tree and towards Dinah. Lauren stopped in front of her and brushed some of Dinah’s curly blonde hair out of her face. Her cheeks immediately heated up when Lauren leaned down and kissed the top of her head. “You’re my special little nugget. I won’t ever let anyone hurt you, baby.”

“Too late, bitch. You hurt me every single day,” Dinah said.

Disclaimer: Dinah didn’t actually say that. She wished she did though, but her tendency to blurt out her thoughts were subdued by Lauren’s soft smile and how gently she stroked Dinah’s cheek with one hand and massaged her scalp with the other.

Instead, Dinah said, “I know that, and I love you.”

“Love you, too,” Lauren mumbled cutely. Dinah sent her a half-smile as she went back to untangling the Christmas lights.

Dinah hummed. “Question, Lauser, are you free tomorrow? I was hoping you could come help me get some gifts for the family. Secret Santa is coming up soon-”

“Can’t. I have a date with Camz,” Lauren told her somewhat dismissively. “We’re going ice skating, and I’m trading shifts for it so I kind of have to go.”

_Of course, you are. You’re always too busy for your own best friend._

Dinah shrugged. “That’s fine. You go have fun with that..”

“We could always do it the day after?”

“Can’t. Mani and I are going to the drive-in,” Dinah said in the exact tone that Lauren had.

Lauren looked up at her in surprise. Clearly, she wasn’t expecting that answer.  “Oh? Then what about Thursday?”

“I would say yes, but we’ve got band practice, remember?”

“Shit, yeah… Friday?”

“You work Fridays.”

“I can always trade shifts!”

Dinah was a little amused at how desperate Lauren was to hang out with her. Honestly, it made Dinah’s heart leap with joy. She knew it had to be God playing tricks on her though. Lauren was always too busy for her except for today. “Laur, you’re already trading shifts this week. You need the money so we can pay for expenses after high school. I won’t allow it.”

Lauren sighed in defeat. “I know… I just…” She ran a hand through her hair nervously and flipped it to the side. “I miss hanging out with you. Things have changed with that, and I don’t know why.”

_Maybe cause you have Canola?_

“End of the year business,” Dinah said as a bullshit answer.

“Must be, but I _promise_ we’ll hang out again soon,” Lauren said seriously. She glanced over at the Bluetooth speakers that were still playing music. “Who sings this ‘Davey White’ song by the way-”

She was interrupted by the front door swinging open and a blue-haired girl swaggering in with a huge cardboard box. Dinah shivered as cool air from the outside hit her. “I’m back!” Ashley greeted, kicking the door shut behind her. She placed the cardboard box on the kitchen counter and yawned. “Ooh, is this The Secret Sisters? I love them!” Ashley pulled her beanie off and began working on opening the box as she sang along to “He’s Fine.” _“Davey White… where is he tonight? He’s sleeping with her in a Tennessee town, and he’s fine.”_

“Oh, good, you’re back!” Lauren looked visibly relieved. “Did you get what I asked, Ash?”

“And more… you can’t expect me to _not_ eat the candy canes.” Ashley chuckled. “I bought the regular mint ones and the _candy_ ones for us to share.”

Dinah whooped. “You’re the best, Ashley!”

Ashley bowed proudly. “Thank you, Dinah Jane, I do try.” She pulled out two boxes of the peppermint candy canes and stacked them on the counter.

Lauren bounced over to the kitchen counter and grabbed one of the boxes. “How much did this all cost you? I can’t imagine that these were cheap.”

“Don’t worry, your daddy pays me enough to handle this,” Ashley replied. “He’s gonna give me a bonus, so I’m spending as much as I can.”

“That ain’t smart,” Dinah chuckled.

“I’ve been fixing cars faster than a galloping llama.” Ashley finished unpacking the cardboard box. She threw it to the side and handed Dinah a box of multi-colored candy canes. “If he doesn’t give me a bonus, there’s gonna be some issues.”

Lauren’s nose scrunched in confusion. “We’re too poor to give bonuses.”

“Then maybe Zayn will-”

“No. Don’t,” Lauren said quickly. Dinah noticed that she had a worried expression on her features. What was with that? Okay, she could admit that Zayn Malik was shady as hell, but he seemed like he was a decent business partner. Mike Jauregui had good judgment, or she believed he did.

Ashley had the same confused expression as Dinah did, but then it shifted to understanding. “You know,” she said more like a statement than a question.

“I know,” Lauren clarified.

Ashley just nodded, unwrapped her candy cane, and gave it a long lick. “I don’t agree with what he’s doing, just so you know. I’m on your side.” She chuckled lowly. “He’s got dirt on me, though.”

Dinah furrowed her brows. “Wait, what the heck are you talking about?”

“Nothing,” Lauren said quickly.

“Family business,” Ashley said at the exact same time. Lauren shot her a piercing glare that made Ashley jump a little. “It’s fine.”

Dinah shrugged her shoulders. “I’m Third Wheeling Ashren, never thought I’d see the day.”

Lauren rolled her eyes and huffed loudly. “Oh, don’t be dramatic!” She made a grunting noise as she put one of the candy canes on the tree. “Ashley and I are friends… nothing more!”

“Okayyy,” Dinah drawled, “so why are you acting like you’re trying to prove something?”

“I don’t know…” Lauren groaned in frustration. “I’m too fucking short to put this candy cane on,” she complained. Dinah put her box of candy canes down and sauntered over to Lauren. She smiled shyly as she carefully put her hands on Lauren’s hips. Honestly, Dinah was freaking out because holding her hips was kind of a thing a couple would do. But Lauren didn’t seem to mind at all, in fact, she leaned back against Dinah and whined. “Come on, DJ, hurry up…” Dinah hoisted Lauren up a few feet higher to allow her to put candy canes on.

Lauren’s ass was in Dinah’s face. She wasn’t joking; Lauren’s ass was in _her_ face. Her face was hot as she tried to move her head away. There really was no room for Jesus in between them. “Lauren your butt’s in ma face,” Dinah groaned.

“Ooh, that tickles,” Lauren giggled causing Dinah’s cheeks to flush deeply. This was _so_ not okay. She had to stop this shit before it got too out of hand, meaning Camila would beat her ass with pom-poms.

Finally, Lauren said, “I’m done.” Dinah sighed in relief and began to lower Lauren to the ground. But of course, Lauren’s trailer had to be slippery as hell and she fell backward, pulling Lauren down with her. She screamed in surprise as she landed flat on her back with Lauren on top of her. “Dinahh!” Lauren screamed. “What did you do?”

“Mmmph, geroff,” Dinah mumbled as Lauren’s weight crushed her. Lauren giggled and gladly rolled off her, but she didn’t exactly leave her alone. The green-eyed girl was right back on top of her pinning her down by the wrists.

“That was rude Dinah. You totally wanted me to sit on your face, didn’t you?” she purred.

Dinah scoffed. “Quit tryna’ be a top when you’re a big ass bottom.”

Lauren blushed and averted her gaze from Dinah. “Shut up…”

“You _totally_ are,” Dinah sang mockingly.

Lauren glared down at her so intensely that Dinah felt like Lauren’s eyes were looking right into her soul. Maybe if she looked hard enough, she could see how much Dinah longed for her. Her glare seemed to go away as she continued to look at Dinah like Dinah’s facial features were enough to make Lauren relax and knock her walls down. It was looks like those that made Dinah wonder if there was something there, maybe Lauren loved her too deep down in her heart. Dinah gave her a lazy grin as her gaze briefly moved to her lips. Lauren did the same and-

“Ain’t no lesbian party without meee!” Ashley cried out loudly as she bounced towards Lauren and Dinah. She tackled Lauren to the ground and tickled her sides relentlessly. Dinah giggled loudly and sat up, scooting over to help Ashley tickle Lauren.

Lauren squealed loudly. “Nooo! No! Stop it!”

Ashley grinned up at Dinah. “Don’t let her go until gives in,” she ordered playfully.

“Stop! Dinah, you’re my best friend! Don’t let her do this-” Lauren whined as Ashley stroked a particular weak spot on Lauren’s hip. Dinah just shook her head and began tickling Lauren’s neck, another spot that she knew that Lauren was weak for.

Dinah didn’t want to mention that she also heard Lauren moan softly. She didn’t want to think so much of it because Lauren moaning was _way_ too hot to be real.

“Okay, okay,” Lauren gasped. “I give in!”

Ashley chuckled. “Loser! I knew you were a pussy.”

Lauren groaned and stuck her middle finger up at Ashley. Ashley rolled off of Lauren and sighed heavily. “Man, that reminds me so much of the fun I used to have with my fiancee.”

Dinah and Lauren both shot up in surprise. “Fiancee!?” Dinah and Lauren repeated in shock.

“Jinx, you owe me a cola,” Dinah said quickly while Lauren rolled her eyes.

“What?” Ashley shrugged. “Is it that much of a surprise? I had a girl once, and we almost made it to the aisle.”

“I’m sensing a story here,” Lauren remarked.

Ashley cracked a smile and nodded. “Yeah, it’s not a happy one, though.” Very appropriately, the song changed to “Tennessee River Runs Low”. Ashley chuckled, clearly noticing the same detail that Dinah did. “We were in love, so fucking crazy in love. She made me so happy…” Ashley took a deep breath. “But she was the prom queen, and I was the school’s junkie. The prom queen dating a lesbian junkie? Rough. But marrying her right before graduation? Scandalous.”

Lauren’s brows knitted in concern.

“Austin is liberal, but they’re not as liberal as they say they are.” Ashley sighed quietly. “Her mama was okay with me dating her, but marrying her? Marriage between two women… was wrong, she said. Even if she did approve, she was right… Charli and I would face so much discrimination even if we had the same marriage rights as everyone else.”

Dinah bit her lip. “Hey, you don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want to… I can’t imagine how hard it was-”

“She left,” Ashley mumbled. “She left town without giving us a chance. Just days after I got expelled… she said she’d wait for me.”

“I’m so sorry, Ash,” Lauren said softly, placing a tentative hand on Ashley’s shaking shoulder. “You deserve so much more than that… she was a coward.”

Ashley shrugged dismissively. “I know, but that’s in the past now. I’ve moved on, I think, and so has she. I haven’t been happier here in Silver. You all are funky, but half of y’all are gay I swear to God. A small town can’t be this gay.”

“Believe me, it’s a little shocking, I’ll agree,” Lauren laughed. “But you fit right in with us, Ash. We’ll be the wives that Charli _never_ was.”

“Louis, Harry, and Niall are my wives, too!?”

Dinah snorted loudly and covered her mouth. Lauren nodded with a playful eye roll. “Yes, they’re your wives, too.”

Ashley grinned excitedly and threw her arms around Lauren. Lauren nearly choked on her breath in surprise as Ashley, reeking of gasoline and coconut body spray, climbed into her lap and nuzzled Lauren’s neck. “Loveeee you, Laurenza.”

Lauren smiled and rubbed her back. “Love you, too, idiot.”

“I love you, Dinah, Dinah drawled. “Oh, Dinah! How sweet, I love you, too.” Lauren and Ashley both giggled. Lauren blew her a kiss and winked, making Dinah’s heart beat a little too fast again. Damn Lauren Jauregui and her oblivious flirting. She needed to cut it out before Dinah made her cut it out.

* * *

The only Sundays that _everyone_ seemed to appear at were Advent Sundays, Palm Sunday, and Easter Sunday. Not that everyone else didn’t on other days, Dinah just felt like people cared more about “important” Sundays. Also, it was the pastor’s birthday, and that meant free food for everyone. Selfishly, Fellowship Hour became Dinah’s new favorite time of the week because that was the only time Camila _couldn’t_ sit with Lauren. Her parents always insisted on her sitting with family, and if they did let her sit with friends, they had to be _good_ people like Shawn Mendes or Ariana Grande. Dinah wasn’t sure what category Lauren or herself fell in, but she had a pretty strong suspicion that Sinuhe Cabello would rip gladly rip both of their eyes out for even _looking_ at Camila.

“If it were my birthday, I’d get catered fried chicken,” Normani mused as she put a large helping of mashed potatoes on her plate. “Nothing’s better than catered chicken, you gotta admit that.”

“Preaching to the choir,” Dinah agreed. Her turkey looked a little funny, but so did everything else. There was absolutely no seasoning on it. Damn, white people really suck at seasoning. “Is Mila sitting with us?”

Normani shrugged. “Maybe. Depends how far away Lauren sits from Camila… which is about two inches maximum.” She chuckled at her own joke. “I’d say probably not.” Dinah exhaled softly in relief as she took a few bread rolls. “Do you not like her? Because I’m getting a strong suspicion that-”

“No, Mani, I think she’s an okay person, like, really.” Dinah looked over her shoulder to see Camila grabbing a plate on the other side of the table while chatting amiably with Ally. “No, she isn’t an okay person. She’s an amazing person… Funny, smart, beautiful, kind-hearted… insecure, but that’s understandable. I can understand why Lauren likes her a lot.” Dinah couldn’t believe the words that came out of her mouth. She believed she hated Camila, but it was for a stupid reason. She should actually just hate Lauren. But no one can hate Lauren, she was a very problematic unproblematic fave, if that even made sense.

“What happened to ‘I kind of wish Camila was out of the picture,’” Normani teased.

“Oh, no, I do… I don’t know. I just…” Dinah trailed off. “Yeah, I don’t even know. She’s an interesting character. I either want to hug her or punch her.”

Normani rolled her eyes. “Get your feelings straight.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever had a straight feeling, like, ever,” Dinah deadpanned.

Her friend snorted, eyes narrowing at Dinah’s _amazing_ pun. “Okay, idiot, let’s grab a table. I’m hungry.”

Dinah and Normani carried their plates of food to a small round table where Niall, Harry, and Louis were already enjoying their lunch. Dinah pulled out the chair across from Niall and plopped down. “Curls, Leprechaun, Jersey Boy… nice to see you.”

“What am I? Chopped liver?” Normani grumbled.

“No, you’re Normami.”

Normani grinned. “I can… accept that.”

“Did anyone try my mama’s rice pudding?” Niall questioned. “She spent hours making it.”

Harry chuckled and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, hours leaving it unattended-”

“Shut up!”

“Why don’t you make me?”

“Oh, I will-”

Dinah narrowed her eyes and flicked a few peas at Harry and Niall. Both boys flinched and shot her menacing glares. “Knock it off. This is a good Christian place. I will not tolerate this kind of sin.” She grabbed the salt shaker on the table and carefully shook it so there was a small pile of salt in her hand. “We gotta throw salt over our shoulders to be forgiven. Watch and learn.”

She threw the salt pile over her shoulder. Dinah didn’t even notice someone was behind her because a girl squeaked in surprise. She immediately turned around to see who the hell got in the way of her cleansing ceremony, Lauren, specifically. “Oh, look! I summoned the queen of salt while I was at it! Hi, Saltren!”

Lauren scowled and whacked the back of her head. “Shut up.” Dinah’s friends roared with laughter while Dinah rubbed the spot that Lauren hit. “Wait, did I actually hurt you?” Lauren said worriedly. She slid into the seat next to Dinah and forced her to look at her by cupping her cheeks.

“Nah. Just my pride,” Dinah replied with a shrug. “My pride and a few brain cells.”

“Not that she had many, to begin with,” Niall muttered.

Dinah scowled. “Oh, go suck a dick!”

“Homosexual activity ain’t allowed here, take it away, you heathens,” another voice came from behind her. Oh, why should Dinah be surprised? If you were near Lauren, guaranteed Camila was no more than five feet away at all times. Camila crossed her arms and frowned. “Aw, there’s no room for me. Bummer. I’ll go sit with Ally and my family.”

Lauren pouted and looked across the table. “Wait! Camz, you can share a seat with me.”

“Uh, Lauren, in case, you haven’t noticed, you both have very big butts,” Louis pointed out.

“Oh, I’m very aware of that,” Lauren drawled. “In that case, she can share with Dinah.”

“What!?” Dinah and Camila exclaimed.

Lauren shrugged. “What’s the big deal? It’ll make me happy! My two favorite girls in the same chair… if that ain’t the cutest thing ever, I don’t know what is.”

“I thought I was your favorite girl?” Harry blinked.

“Yeah, me too?” Niall agreed.

Lauren rolled her eyes. “Shut up, you’re as much a girl as I am ugly.”

“Lauser, you ain’t-”

“Lolo, how dare you-”

Camila and Dinah both paused, realizing they had both spoken at the same time.

“I’m sorry-”

“You can go-”

They freaking did it again.

Normani looked at Dinah with evident amusement. Camila cleared her throat awkwardly and took a seat on the small chair space that Dinah had provided. Dinah scooted over to allow her more space.

Lauren smirked. “You both were gonna call me out on saying I’m ugly, huh? I was actually going to compliment myself, but thanks for jumping to my defense.” She clapped her hands together. “So, anyway, I heard one of my favorite artists is coming to town soon…”

Dinah blocked Lauren’s conversation out when Camila tapped on her shoulder. Dinah turned her head slightly and raised a questioning brow. “I’m sorry for that whole awkward exchange,” she said quietly.

“It’s no problem,” Dinah laughed. “We were both quick to defend our girl.”

“Yeah…” Camila chuckled in agreement. “Can we, uh, not talk about Lauren?”

Dinah’s nose scrunched up in confusion. “What? Why?”

Camila shrugged. “I feel like there’s this unspoken tension between us. Like we’re apprehensive because we’re both really important people in Lauren’s life...” Dinah silently cursed. Did Camila know? “Not that you’re in love with Lauren or anything…” _Oh, phew._

Dinah nodded. “I kinda feel that too.” She looked over at Lauren who was still in deep conversation with her friends. “But I’m not like upset with you or anything.”

“I might be hogging up a little bit of Lauren’s time.”

_A little?_

“She cares about you. If she’s making time for you, she cares,” Dinah assured her.

“Yeah, but I don’t wanna be that girlfriend that stops her from hanging out with friends.” Camila bit her lip. “And I don’t want that to stop us from being friends.”

“No, yeah, I totally get it.”

“I actually like you a lot, Dinah.”

“Yeah, I do, too.”

Dinah mentally facepalmed. This wasn’t what she wanted. She wanted a rivalry with Camila so she could drive her away easier. That would be impossible now that Dinah was buddying up with her. And she was actually liking her as a person? Camila really was the most inconvenient but enjoyable thorn in her side she ever had.

There was still a way to fix this. She could always betray Camila. Dinah wasn’t that much of an asshole, though. Feelings were so confusing, Dinah concluded. But maybe things would fall apart once “Operation Make Camren So Mad” was in full force.

“Actually, I wanted to ask you if you wanted to hang out next week?” Camila asked timidly. Dinah raised a brow in surprise. “You can always come to my place. Does Wednesday work for you? Lauren works then, and I’m sure you don’t have band practice…”

Dinah smiled slightly. “Yeah, I’d love to hang out. I’m kind of scared of your mama, though.” She scoffed at her own comment. “And this is coming from someone who has Margaret White as a mother.”

“My mama is a little scary, but it’s mostly because she’s overprotective.” Camila squeezed Dinah’s shoulder, surprising her completely. Dinah chewed on her lower lip to prevent herself from smiling. “But I promise she’ll like you, who wouldn’t like you? You skipped the first grade, and you have a 4.2 GPA.”

“My smarts don’t define me.”

“But they’re a big part of you.”

Dinah snorted. “Flatterer. You’re trying to win me over with your stupid Cabello charm.”

“You caught me, China,” Camila teased. “Whatcha gonna do about it?”

The blonde shrugged. “I’m gonna force you to do whatever I want when we hang out.” That statement was vaguely dirty, but Lauren would most definitely kill her if she tried anything with Camila.

Camila wasn’t her type anyway. Dinah was into Latin girls that were shorter than her and could keep up with her intelligence.

Shit, that basically was Camila Cabello.

“Oh? What would that be?”

“‘Dunno,” Dinah told her truthfully. “But it’ll be so much fun, I promise.”

“I trust you, Dinah.”

“I’m glad you do, Walz.”

“Hey Fred and George Weasley, you done with your side conversation?” Louis snapped his fingers. Dinah and Camila whipped their heads around to see the entire table watching them intently.

Dinah rolled her eyes. “Who’s Fred and who’s George? I don’t wanna have my ear cut off.”

“Well, the other option is death…” Camila pointed out.

“At least I’ll have both ears.” Dinah took a forkful of turkey and stuffed it into her mouth. Just as it looked, it was disgusting. She quickly covered her mouth and made a gagging noise. Camila handed her a napkin helpfully. Dinah sighed in relief and spit up the chewed-up meat into her napkin. “Man, who made this? I just wanna talk.”

Harry looked down at his plate guiltily. “My ma and I did.”

“Oh…” Dinah smiled sympathetically. “I’m sorry you both can’t cook.”

“Dinah!” Normani scolded loudly.

“What!?” Dinah fired back.

Lauren cackled. “At least she was honest.” Normani scowled at Lauren disapprovingly. Lauren just held her hands up in defense and shrugged. “You can never call my girl out for lying.”

Dinah laughed. “You sure about that? I could be lying about a lot of things right now. You’d never know.”

“She thinks you’re a better singer than her,” Harry said. “That’s a lie she says a lot.”

“Um, it’s not!?” Dinah hissed. Suddenly, a great idea popped into her head. “It’s exposing hour! Niall cried during _The Spongebob Squarepants Movie_.”

Niall flushed a deep pink and hid his face.

“Camila thinks anything from iFunny is hilarious,” Lauren added on with a smirk.

Camila pouted at her girlfriend. “Normani has a shrine for Beyonce.”

“Harry has a daddy kink,” Normani giggled, remembering their conversation in the diner a few months ago.

“You guys are so unholy,” Louis remarked with an eye-roll. “And in a church, too!”

“Oops?” Harry laughed. “We haven’t been kicked out, so I’d say that’s a good thing.”

Dinah chuckled. Despite all the shit happening in her mind, at least she had her best friends to cheer her up whenever she felt down.

* * *

“Where the hell are you taking me, Dinah?” Normani huffed tiredly, nearly tripping over a fallen log as she stumbled blindly through the dark night.

“To your imminent doom,” Dinah replied coolly, shining the flashlight ahead of them. “Your forthcoming demise, your near death-”

“Christ, I get it,” she hissed. “Can I at least say goodbye to Ally before you kill me?”

Dinah paused for a moment, turning around to face Normani. She took extra care not to shine her phone’s flashlight on her friend’s face. Although she kept doing that to Lauren the last time she took someone to the hill, she took extra care for Normani. Normani was different; she wouldn’t disregard Dinah’s feelings or act so oblivious.

Normani cleared her throat expectantly. “Is that a yes?”

“Perhaps…” Dinah hummed in thought. “Killing in cold blood is against Space Fleet. I wish I could help.”

“Nerd,” Normani scoffed.

“I know you are, but what am I?” Dinah paused, realizing her mistake. “Oh, crap, wait-” she blubbered.

Normani laughed. “Nice going, idiot.” She trudged forward to tap the top of Dinah’s head sympathetically. Dinah pouted in annoyance as she spun on her heels to watch Normani further climb the Hansen hill. Not to be gay or anything, but Dinah couldn’t help but notice that Normani had a _glorious_ ass. She would not mind tapping that at all. Of course, Ally would kill her with the good word of the Lord and then God would punish her for being a seductress. This was all hypothetical, of course.

“Hey, Don Julio? You coming or what?”

“Who you calling Don Julio?” Dinah yelled loudly.

“You.”

“I hope you trip and fall, Norman.”

Normani yelled something that sounded very something like “basil taw.” That had to be some sort of swear word in French. Dinah didn’t know any Tongan, unfortunately, so no legendary comebacks in a different language.

Normani finally reached the top of the hill and exhaled loudly. Dinah forgot to mention that she was the one holding the blankets. It was cold at night, and Dinah sure as hell did not feel like freezing her poor ass off before Christmas. If she was gonna die, let it be on the day Jesus was born to prove that God hates gays.

“Holy crap,” Normani breathed out, dropping the blankets on the ground as she looked up at the sky.

 _Goddammit, Mani, don’t you be dirtying my blankets,_ Dinah thought.

“I… wow, Dinah,” Normani gushed. She giggled childishly as she spun in circles, admiring the gorgeous view. “How could you not tell me there’s a freaking glorious hill here? Is it one of the Hansen family’s biggest secrets?”

Dinah chuckled in reply. “Among many other things,” she replied. She silently wondered if the shotgun was still there. She had asked her dad to move it back down to the barn, but her dad seemed to be occupied with other things lately.

“The only time I see the stars like this is at _my_ special place,” Normani informed her. Dinah raised an interested brow, reaching out to unfold the blankets so they could both sit on them. “You know of Lake Fork, right? The one that looks like a bunch of roots are sticking out of a horseshoe?” she questioned. Dinah did know of it. Her family used to spend some time at the Marina when Dinah was a little girl. “I know of a really secluded place on a peninsula… just off highway 154.”

“Duh,” Dinah laughed. “I know where Lake Fork is.”

“But yeah…” she sighed. “If you sit down right by the water, you can look up at the stars and see everything. I’m a huge hoe for stars and constellations.”

“Me too,” Dinah admitted shyly as she sat down on the blankets. She motioned for Normani to do the same. “Lauren and I used to come up here all the time to look at the stars. She’d lay her head in my lap and tell me everything she knew about the stars. Soon I began to learn how to find out how to find my own constellations and then I started to teach her things…” She trailed off sadly, noticing Normani’s demeanor change immediately. “You’re the only one I’ve brought up here besides Lauren.”

Normani smiled softly. “I’m… honored, Dinah. I’m glad you care about me enough to share this place with me.”

“Oh, stop,” Dinah said dismissively to Normani. “It’s not that big of a deal-”

“Dinah, shut up.” Dinah quickly obliged. “Lauren and you have been friends since the second grade. Even _I_ remember when you hit Austin. Taking Lauren up here is easy because you’ve known her forever.” Normani exhaled quietly. “We’ve known each other for about three months, and you’re taking me here. You’ve got a heart bigger than the sun.”

Dinah felt straight-up embarrassed - or gay up, depending on who you were talking to. Normani was the sweetest, kindest, most generous person out there. “Mani… gosh, you are too good for the world.”

“Hey, can I find my star sign in the sky at night?” Normani changed the subject as she lazily pointed at the sky.

“When were you born?”

“May 31st.”

“Ew, you’re a Gemini.”

“I will cut you,” Normani warned. She then smiled sweetly and batted her eyelashes. “Pretty please? I wanna see my sign.”

Dinah smirked in amusement. “Geminis and their mood swings.” She ignored Normani’s scowl and looked up at the sky. “This time of year Gemini should be towards the East… Ah, there we go!” She pointed at two bright stars near each other. “See that? Castor and Pollux, Alpha and Beta Geminorum.”

“Castor oil or Alpha German and Pollen or Beta German-what-now?” Normani failed to repeat correctly for clarification.

“Castor and Pollux. The twins?” Dinah frowned in disbelief. “Don’t tell me you’ve _never_ heard of the Greek myth?”

Normani shrugged. “Can’t say I have… but I’d love to hear it if it ain’t stupid.”

“It ain’t stupid,” Dinah assured her. “They were two twins, half-siblings, actually. It was common belief that Castor was the son of Leda and her husband Tyndareus who was the King of Sparta. Pollux was a different story. Zeus came down to the mortal world as a swan and seduced Leda and ended up fathering Pollux. There were a bunch of different versions of this. Some said that Castor and Pollux hatched from eggs made from Leda, but one detail was always the same: one was mortal and the other was half-immortal.”

“Did you say Castor and Pollux _hatched from eggs_? Does that mean Zeus fucked Leda as a swan?” Normani’s nose scrunched up in disgust. “Bestiality is a sin.”

“Jesus Christ, does it look like I know?” Dinah giggled. “Anyways, these brothers were known together as Dioscuri. They were excellent hunters and horsemen who even took down the infamous Calydonian Boar. They even joined the crew of Jason’s ship, the _Argo._ Castor and Pollux took revenge after Theseus kidnapped their sister Helen and forced Theseus’s mother to be a slave to Helen.”

Normani scratched her head. “I don’t know half of these things you’re referencing, and I’m kinda sad that I’m this uncultured.”

“But the most important story? It’s what I call the Rape of the Daughters of Leucippus and Four Idiot Cousins.”

“I don’t like the sound of this…”

“Alright, do you want the long version or the short version?”

Normani shrugged. “The medium rare version.”

Dinah snorted. “Asswipe. Okay. Castor and Pollux both wanted to marry Leucippides, daughters of the white horse, Phoebe, and Hilaeira. However, these girls were set to marry Dioscuri’s cousins, Lynceus and Idas of Thebes. Castor and Pollux carried these women off to Sparta and each had one child with them. That started a family feud. So the cousins carry out a cattle raid and succeeded. Before dividing it, they roasted a calf to eat. Idas suggested that they divided the herd into two parts, based on which pair of cousins finished their meals first. Castor and Pollux stupidly agreed. Idas ended up eating both Lynceus’s and his own meal. Castor and Pollux were fooled, but they agreed to let their cousins have the whole herd, and they vowed to take revenge.”

“That was rude of them,” Normani remarked. “Greek guys are stupid.”

Dinah laughed and continued her story. “Later Idas and Lynceus visited their uncle’s place in Sparta. And guess who’s also there? Castor and Pollux. Paris, Prince of Troy, was there, too. Helen was the one who had to entertain the guests. Naturally, Dioscuri saw it as an opportunity to take revenge. They make an excuse to leave the feast early and set off to steal their cousins’ herd. Idas and Lynceus eventually set off for home, too, leaving Helen with Paris. The cousins played a big part in Paris kidnapping Helen and setting in motion the Trojan War.”

Normani raised a brow in surprise. “Wow. That’s kind of cool.”

“Glad you like it,” Dinah said teasingly. “So, Castor and Pollux reached their destination. Castor climbed up a tree to keep watch while Pollux freed the cattle. Idas and Lynceus approached from afar. Funny enough, Lynceus can see in the dark cause apparently, his name means ‘lynx’ and lynxes can see in the dark. He spied Castor in the tree, and the twins put two and two together. Idas got mad pissed and ambushed Castor, fatally wounding him with a spear, but Castor managed to warn Pollux in time. A brawl took place, and Pollux killed Lynceus. Idas overpowered Pollux, and just as he was about to kill him, Zeus, being a Zeus ex-Machina, hurled a thunderbolt and saves his son.”

“That’s my boy!” Normani cheered.

“Pollux went to his dying brother, and Zeus gave him a choice. He could spend the rest of his days on Mount Olympus or he could give half of his immortality to his mortal brother. Obviously, he picked the latter. This allowed them to alternate between Hades and Olympus in death. And so, the brothers became the two brightest stars in the Gemini constellation and are considered emblems of immortality and death.” Dinah exhaled tiredly. That was one long myth to recount and tell. “The end.”

Normani clapped her hands together excitedly. Dinah couldn’t help but grin; Normani was kind of lowkey a dork. “That was a good story. I take it you love Greek Myths?”

Dinah nodded. “I don’t _love_ them. I obsess over them. Lauren has her love of action movies and how special effects are done in general; I have my love for Greek Myths and the stories of gods and heroes. We’re kind of closeted nerds…”

“That’s really cool…” Normani yawned and sprawled herself out on the blanket. Dinah decided to do the same. Both girls lay prostrate on the blankets. Dinah’s fingers casually grazed over Normani’s hand as the two girls stared up at the sky. It was blissful knowing that Normani was there by her side. She had grown to genuinely care for the girl next to her. She valued Normani so much as a friend. Perhaps more than Lauren but that was because Lauren did reciprocate her feelings.

“If you ever get close enough to Mila, I hope she takes you to her family’s lake house at Lake Tawakoni. It would be nice to not be the third wheel; she’ll probably take Lauren this year.”

Dinah smiled sadly. “Don’t worry. I’ll make sure you ain’t the third wheel.”

_If it all works out the way I want it to be, Camila will be the third wheel._

Normani chuckled. “Somehow, I doubt that.” She squeezed Dinah’s hand and exhaled contently. “You just keep riding your train to hell. You just keep riding that train.”

Dinah smirked and looked back up at the sky. Castor and Pollux’s luminescence shined like two bright eyes staring right into her soul and seeing right through her. Perhaps Dinah would steal her own Leucippide or herd right from her _cousin’s_ nose. It all depended on how fate played out in the stupid, twisted town known as Silver.


	13. thirteen: now it's all "camz this, camz that"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> posting this early because i have exams tomorrow and i'm gonna forget otherwise. enjoy xoxo

“Why do we have to do this so secretly? I think the cafeteria would be just fine.”

Ally brought her finger to her lips and shushed Louis. Louis’s brows knit in confusion. Yes, it was a lunch period, but Dinah didn’t think they had to be super silent. The only kids in classes were the underclassmen and sixth through eighth graders. Still, the student council president could do whatever the hell she wanted. No one could stop her and her innocent charm.

“In here,” Ally urged as she pushed open the door to an empty classroom. “I know for a fact that this teacher is taking his class on a field trip, so I thought I’d make do with the available room provided.”

“Smart thinking, Allycat,” Lauren agreed as she patted the short girl on the head and whisked past her. The rest of their friend group filed in afterward: Camila, Dinah, Normani, Harry, Louis, and Niall. Ally poked her head out into the hallway to make sure the coast was clear once more and then closed the door.

Normani and Dinah began arranging the desks so they’d be in a circle. Ally placed a small mason jar with slips of paper in the middle of the circle and then skipped over to sit next to Normani. Lauren quickly pulled Camila onto her lap causing Dinah to roll her eyes as inconspicuously as she could. The only available seat after Harry and Louis took their seats was next to Niall.

Dinah begrudgingly took it and crossed her arms.

Ally clapped her hands together excitedly. “So, I think you all know why we’re here… I’m beyond excited to invite three new additions to our Christmas tradition: Normani, Camila, and Louis.” See, Normani would be apart of this tradition before, but only Lauren was friends with her and none of them knew about Normani and Ally’s _arrangement._ Ally gave the group a pointed look, and the original Christmas tradition participants clapped. Lauren was clapping extra loudly for Camila on her damn lap. Dinah suddenly wanted to throw up her turkey sandwich.

Niall yawned boredly. “Can we get on with it?”

Ally glared at him. “Hey, this is a process that takes time and dedication.”

“Where’s Ashley?” Dinah asked. She was a little surprised to find that the blue-haired girl wasn’t included in this.

“I tried to invite her, but she said she’d make the numbers uneven,” Lauren told her.

“Buying yourself a gift would be fun…” Dinah said lightly.

“Only you would think that Dinah Jane, only you would,” Normani said teasingly, wiggling her eyebrows and her fingers of the direction of Dinah. Dinah winked in response.

“Okay…” Ally hopped off her desk and sauntered to the mason jar in the middle of the floor. “There are eight names in here. If you pick yourself, make sure to put your name back. We’ll do it by birthdays, not years, just days. So I guess we’re starting with Harry.”

“Boo… Aquarius be cray,” Dinah interjected as her friend slid off his desk and knelt down by the mason jar. He opened the lid cautiously and picked the first paper he could find. His brows furrowed, conveying that he was deep in thought, but then he broke out into a wide, bashful grin. Dinah could only assume that he got someone good.

Harry crumpled up his piece of paper into a ball and hopped back onto his desk. “I’m beyond satisfied with mine.” He chuckled and stuffed the paper ball into his pocket. “Last year, I had Ally, and I couldn’t have gotten a more incorrect gift.”

“I appreciate the sentiment, though,” Ally assured him. “It turned out being a better ornament than a necklace.”

“She’s just being nice,” Dinah blurted out. “He gave her dog tags and said they reminded him of her.”

Camila and Normani both burst out laughing while Harry’s cheeks turned a bright pink. It was always fun to embarrass her friend in front of everyone else, especially since he had definitely taken a liking to Louis. It was Dinah’s job to embarrass the shit out of her friends.

“Who’s next?” Ally asked. “Harry was February…”

“Me?” Camila piped in, pointing herself. “I’m March 3rd.”

“Ah, Pisces, they’re actually somewhat decent,” Dinah said thoughtfully. Camila flashed her a grin and a wink, ponytail bounced as she picked up a small piece of paper from the jar. Dinah seemed to watch in anticipation as Camila unwrapped the paper. Her nose scrunched up and her forehead creased, but her features visibly softened as she glanced up from the paper. Though her eyes did not meet Lauren, instead they met Dinah’s inquisitive ones. A small twinkle in her eye caused Dinah’s heart to stop beating for about two milliseconds as she walked back over to Lauren.

Lauren raised a confused brow as she rested her chin on Camila’s shoulder. “No reaction? Hey, lemme see-” Camila crumpled the paper up so Lauren couldn’t see anything. Lauren pouted childishly and kicked the leg of the desk. “Camz, seriously?” she whined.

Camila nodded. “Sorry, babe, a secret’s a secret.”

“Okay, next we have Normani!” Ally said excitedly. She rubbed Normani’s arm and pressed a kiss to her cheek. Dinah was so surprised she nearly forgot that they were in private and no one could see the pastor’s daughter being a sinful homosexual.

“I already went over how Gemini’s are two-faced with Mani, so I’ll save it,” Dinah smirked.

Normani chuckled. “I already got the whole deal while stargazing. If you’ve ever been stargazing with Dinah, she knows how to make it interesting,” she gushed excitedly.

“Oh, you went stargazing with DJ, Mani?” Lauren asked with a slightly snarky tone. Her brows were furrowed and she looked very much like a predator seeing another predator in their territory. It was kind of hot, not that Dinah cared. Her gaze snapped to Dinah. “Did you tell her a Greek Myth?”

“Yup,” Dinah answered with a little uncertainty. Lauren looked surprised, hurt almost. Yes, it used to be a thing that Lauren and Dinah used to do by themselves, but times had changed. Lauren needed to recognize that Dinah wasn’t someone she could use when Camila was busy.

Thankfully, Normani unraveled her paper before any conflict could break out. “Sweet!” she cheered and stuffed her paper away. Dinah was glad Normani got someone good, at least.

“Dinah, you’re next,” Ally said encouragingly. Dinah smiled excitedly and hopped off the desk. She could feel Lauren’s soul-piercing gaze on her, but she chose to ignore it. Dinah wasn’t going to allow herself to feel bad for hanging out with Normani just because _Lauren_ looked slightly upset.

Dinah reached her hand in and fished through the mason jar. She grabbed the one towards the bottom and stood up. She took a deep breath. _Here goes nothing,_ she thought.

Her hands shook slightly as she unraveled it. Why was she so nervous? She was probably going to get Niall anyway and end up giving him fake dog poop. But the universe, oh, the damn universe had a way of mocking her.

_CAMILA_

Dinah’s nose scrunched up in surprise. Of all the people she had to get, she got freaking Camila Cabello. Now, she _had_ to be nice to her because giving Camila a prank gift would not be a smart move. Dinah inhaled sharply and crumpled the paper in her hand.

“You good, Dinah?” Normani asked, noticing Dinah’s stressed facial expression.

“Fine,” Dinah mumbled. She brushed a bit of her hair behind her ear and shuffled back to her seat. Lauren’s gaze was still trained on her, but Camila was also looking, too. Just great, she did not need Camren to be looking at her like she was freaking batshit.

Ally cleared her throat awkwardly. “Okay, uh, Lauren? It’s your go.”

Lauren’s gaze snapped away from Dinah, and she nodded, acting as if nothing had fazed her moments ago. Camila gave her a reassuring hand squeeze, and Lauren nearly brushed her off, but she corrected her actions before anyone noticed. Dinah didn’t feel like making a Cancer joke because Cancers were overemotional. They’d take everything to heart, and Dinah was slightly afraid of Lauren killing her.

She reached into the jar and pulled out a name. Lauren quickly opened it. Her lips pursed as she read the name but then a relieved smile formed. Okay, Dinah knew she didn’t get Camila, so who the hell made her so happy? Lauren stuffed the paper in her jacket’s pocket and took her previous seat next to Camila. Dinah snapped her gaze away when Camila leaned into Lauren.

“My turn!” Ally said cheerfully. She skipped over to the jar and pulled out a name. Her smile seemed to grow impossibly larger and she quickly stuffed her paper away. “I love finding out who I get… Okay, Niall, your turn!”

Niall yawned tiredly and got out of his seat. He reached down and grabbed one of the two remaining papers and squinted as he looked at the name. “Ugh, seriously?” he groaned. “I hardly know them!”

“Tough luck, bud,” Dinah taunted. “I’d trade with you but I doubt you’d like mine better.”

Niall shrugged in defeat.

“And last but not least, Louis!”

Louis smiled nervously and took the last piece of paper. He unwrapped it quickly and smiled. “Oh, okay, I can do that.”

Niall rolled his eyes and huffed. “Of course, city boy gets a good one.”

“Trust me, Niall, you don’t want mine,” Louis assured him.

Ally picked up the mason jar from the floor. “That concludes Christmas 2017’s Secret Santa picking ceremony. Oh, wow, I can’t believe this is our last one.” She exhaled softly and placed her hands on her hips. “Gifts are due the last Friday before Winter Break if you don’t see them outside of school. The latest date gifts can be given is December 26th. And remember: _don’t_ tell your person if you have them.”

“Alright, peace, love, bitches, I’m off to the computer lab to finish my paper,” Dinah lied. She actually finished that paper weeks ago, but she was probably just gonna end up chilling on one of the library’s couches to avoid dealing with Lauren or Camila in the cafeteria. Before anyone could say anything else, Dinah was out the door.

She began untangling her headphones when she heard someone call her name.

“Dinah! Dinah! Hey!”

Dinah turned around.

“Wait up a sec, okay?” Camila said breathlessly as she ran down the hall. Dinah froze, unsure if she should move or not, but she then decided that it would be rude to leave her.

“Uh, what’s up, Walz?” Dinah asked.

Camila exhaled tiredly as she stopped right in front of Dinah. She bent over and placed her hands on her knees, huffing in exhaustion. “Man… I hate running.” Dinah didn’t bother hiding her smirk. “Okay, uh, we’re still on for today, right? I can take you to my place after school. Finally got my car fixed up last month.”

Dinah chuckled. She remembered hearing about that from Lauren. That was, of course, the reason why Camila and Lauren ended up on the path to dating. “Slight problem: I drove here, too. How about you follow me home and I drop my car off at my place? Then you can drive me there.”

“Hansen Dairy Farm?” Camila gasped excitedly. “I’ve never been there, and I’ve always wanted to go. Is it true you have that huge house?”

“Yep, all my siblings and I are cramped in there. Well, my room’s in the barn.” Dinah shrugged indifferently as she started walking in the direction of the computer lab with Camila right by her side. “It ain’t all that special compared to the Silver Mine.”

“Have you ever been to the Silver Mine?” Camila scoffed. “It’s so boring. All the houses look the same, and my mama’s always peeking out the window at everyone who walks by.”

Dinah laughed in agreement. “I’m always afraid that I’m on her bad side. One time, I looked at her funny, and she hasn’t stopped staring at me since then.”

Camila bit her lip and smiled nervously. “I, uh…” She cleared her throat. “I’m sorry? I’m not sure how to respond to that. My mama likes to watch things, that is true.”

“Does that mean she hates me?”

“What!? No!”

“So, what is the truth? She likes to watch me because I’m hot as hell?”

Camila shoved Dinah playfully. “Ugh, quit twisting my words, jerk!”

Dinah nearly lost her balance, but she managed to keep herself upright. That would’ve been totally embarrassing if a girl half a foot shorter than she managed to knock her down. “Relax, Chancho. I’m just kidding.”

Camila’s eyes widened. “I’m sorry, did you just call me a pig?” she sputtered in disbelief.

“Yes,” Dinah replied with a grin. “What’s the matter with calling you a pig? I could call you Porc. That’s the French word for it, according to Mani.”

“Fine. Considering you call Lauren a loser, I shouldn’t be surprised, _Cheechee._ ”

“Oooh,” Dinah drawled. “Chancho and Cheechee. We sound like a pair, much better than Fred and George Weasley.”

“We’re a dynamic duo.”

“Don’t tell Lauren that I agree with you.”

Both girls laughed. Camila leaned slightly into Dinah’s side, and Dinah didn’t stop herself from wrapping an arm around Camila’s waist. She was screwing ‘Operation Make Camren So Mad’ up terribly, but maybe she wanted to revise it a bit. Dinah was getting a lot more joy out of pissing Lauren off. Camila just happened to be caught in the middle of Dinah’s revenge plan.

And it was that moment that Dinah knew, watching her best friend’s girlfriend laugh in her arms, that she was a fool to think that all her pain and anguish was Camila’s fault.

Truthfully, Camila did nothing wrong.

 _She stole your girl, idiot,_ her mind reminded her.

_But she wasn’t mine, to begin with._

They reached the computer lab, and Dinah untangled herself from Camila. “I should… get to the paper. I’ll see you in class? We have gym together, right?” Dinah wasn’t sure. Her mind tended to blank when she was flustered and confused

Camila smiled widely. “Yeah, we do. I’ll see you then, okay?” She grabbed Dinah’s hand and squeezed it, surprising Dinah.

Again, her hands were really soft.

Not that Dinah really cared or anything, but she wouldn’t mind them _elsewhere._

_Goddamnit! Not again, Dinah!_

Dinah nodded slowly, snapping out of her _gay_ daze. “Yeah, definitely. For sure.”

* * *

Next shocking fact of the day: Camila Cabello was a freaking _nerd_. Dinah wasn’t talking about her liking Harry Potter or some lame shit like that; she was talking about books stacked with fantasy series of all kinds, posters of various movies, and even… oh, hold her beer, _video games._ Dinah wasn’t sure she was supposed to laugh her ass off when she saw a very small CD collection with the Xbox logo stacked on top of each other. Dinah was half expecting her room to be filled with boyband posters or something dumb like that. Okay, there was _one_ Ed Sheeran poster, but that was about it on the music.

Dinah found herself staring at a woman with jet black hair and amber eyes. The outfit she had on was nothing but revealing, and she was clutching a wooden staff while playing with her purple hood. Next to that poster was a girl with bright red hair and red armor. Dinah wondered if Camila’s parents would even let her have _these_ kinds of posters. She didn’t give two shits about the redhead and the creepy witch. The third girl, however...

“Who’s she?” Dinah asked, placing her finger on the poster.

Camila stopped shuffling through her magazines and looked up. “Hm?” Dinah turned back to look at her, anticipating an answer. “Oh. That’s Ellie.” She pointed at the poster of a teenager with a bow and arrow and a small scar in her eyebrow.

Dinah made a mental note to look up who Ellie was later. “She, ah, kind of looks like Lauren,” she remarked stupidly.

“Hm.” Camila’s brows knit in thought, folding her hands in her lap. “Maybe she does, a younger Lauren Jauregui, except for the eyes. They both are kind of similar. Ellie and Lauren have… _vulgar_ diction, if you know what I mean.”

“Look at you, mentioning rhetorical terms like a pro.” Dinah grinned. “But you’re right, she does. Someone better put some soap in her mouth.”

“If someone does that, they better give you a filter, too.”

Dinah drew in a long breath, eyes widening in amusement and bewilderment. “Damn, Walz. You’re out here insulting everyone like it’s going outta style.”

“In case you’re wondering, yes, those are games,” Camila said with a chuckle, gesturing to the CD stalk. “I would say I’m holding onto them for a friend, but I’m actually not, so…” She shrugged her shoulders. “My dad has an Xbox that he uses when he has free time, which is never so Shawn used to bring his games. I watched him while he played, and I guess I got interested in them, too.” She seemed embarrassed. Dinah didn’t want her to feel embarrassed because Christ, if Camila knew about her _Far Cry_ obsession, Dinah would feel embarrassed, too.

“Shooter games?” Dinah asked awkwardly.

“No, I’m not into that. I like fantasy games… RPGs with good lore. Anything historical or takes place in a kingdom or empire, yeah...”

Liar. Dinah definitely saw _Call of Duty’s_ logo on one of those cases, but she refrained from saying anything.

Dinah smiled reassuringly. “Hey, don’t be embarrassed. I’m not judging you for being a secret nerd. Look, I _skipped a grade_. I’m a prime example of a nerd.”

“And you never seem to let anyone forget it,” Camila noted. Dinah rolled her eyes playfully. “But you’re right, I shouldn’t be embarrassed. Now I can take out the rest of my babies…”

Dinah’s eyes bugged out in surprise as Camila sauntered over to her closet. “Oh, man, don’t tell me you have more, Richie Rich. I could hardly afford _Grand Theft Auto V._ A month of farm work to make up for it. Each time I want something, I gotta actually work hard to pay for it. I ain’t got money to pay for a $40 game like it’s nothing.” Camila paused and turned around. A sympathetic look formed on her features. Although, Dinah wasn’t sure she could actually comprehend what being poor as dirt was like. Camila had everything given to her all her life. Perhaps she only hung out with poor trash just to feel some sort of thrill or feel oppressed for once.

Camila nodded and walked back over to the bed. “Okay… I won’t. You know, you’re more than welcome to borrow any of my stuff whenever you want,” she offered kindly.

Dinah couldn’t pass that opportunity. That would save her tons of money. “Really? Aw, Mila, that’s so sweet of you.”

“Of course, we’re friends.” Camila grinned up at her. “That’s what friends do, right?”

“No, I thought friends killed each other and stole their wives,” Dinah deadpanned.

“Oh, they do, but that’s a level we haven’t gotten to yet,” Camila teased.

Dinah burst out laughing. “Oh, man. You right. I don’t think I have the wife-stealing tools yet.”

Camila raised an amused brow. “And what would those tools be?”

“A long as fuck beard for starters, a very sharp spear, a tunic made of silk, a lifetime supply of grapefruits,” Dinah listed. “And last but not least… teenage angst.”

“Wow… you’re right. Those tools are impossible to get,” Camila said breathlessly with a faux awe-stricken expression. “Darn, I was looking forward to a swift wife conquest.”

Dinah rolled her eyes at their playfulness. This was the type of banter she aspired to have on a daily basis. Camila was much more humorous than she thought. Lauren was clever and sarcastic, which Dinah loved a lot, but she didn’t have Dinah’s ability to make a joke out of everything. Dinah could practically picture Lauren’s reaction to her wife conquest thing. She’d make a sarcastic remark like “In your dreams, Dinah Jane” or she’d start ranting about the patriarchy, whichever came first. Lauren liked to make everything about social justice.

“So… what do you wanna do now?” Dinah shifted her weight awkwardly.

Camila shrugged. “I don’t know. What do you wanna do?”

Dinah snorted. “Seriously? This is not going to be an awkward middle school play date. C’mon, Mila, it’s _your_ house. You know all the fun stuff to do here.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know, but I’m afraid of suggesting things because I’m afraid you’ll get bored.”

“Then let’s go flirt with some nine-year-olds on Xbox Live,” Dinah suggested, stifling her laughter when Camila gave her a totally freaked out expression. “What? I’m totally serious. Pop in _Call of Duty_ and I’ll do all the talking.”

Camila gave her a weak smile. “I don’t have that game. Sofi comes in my room a lot, and I don’t wanna scare her.”

Dinah snorted. “First of all, I definitely saw _Call of Duty_ in that stack. You can’t lie to me that easily.” Camila chewed on her lower lip and averted her gaze from Dinah causing Dinah to burst out laughing. “And second of all… who’s Sofi?”

“My little sister.”

“Oh, there are more of you.” Dinah pretended to shudder while Camila feigned offense. “Kidding. I’m sure your sister is a sweetheart.”

Camila nodded. “Oh, she really is. She makes me look like a terrible person.”

“Shut up, I see you tryna’ self-deprecate,” Dinah sassed. “I won’t allow it, not under my roof.”

Her friend blinked slowly. “Dinah…” She giggled as Dinah raised a confused brow. “This isn’t your house.”

Dinah huffed in annoyance. “Okay, you’re right, but still…” She walked over and knelt in front of Camila. The brunette’s eyes bugged out in surprise, regarding Dinah curiously as the blonde put a hand on her knee. Honestly, Dinah didn’t really know what she was doing either. “Don’t put yourself down. You’re a lovely person, even if I used to hate your guts for pushing Lauren away.” Camila winced painfully, and Dinah realized she may have slightly screwed up by saying that. “No, Mila, don’t worry about it. It’s in the past, and there haven’t been any slip-ups since then. Being in the closet isn’t easy… accepting yourself isn’t easy. You have a valid reason for some of your actions.”

Camila chewed on her lower lip. “But I still hurt Lauren…”

“That’s why I said you had a valid reason for _some_ of your actions,” Dinah reminded her.

Camila smiled bashfully. “I’m sorry-”

“Shut the fuck up,” Dinah interrupted her. “I didn’t come here for a Cabello pity party. I came for the booze and wild sex. You offering either?”

“Dinah,” Camila hissed with a wide smile. “You’re not funny.”

“I’m kidding. I’m kidding.” Dinah laughed as she hopped to her feet and slid next to Camila on the bed. “But I ain’t kidding about you being a lovely person. Nobody makes good decisions around here. Especially us teenagers at Harrison, we’re full of shit.”

Camila laughed softly and scratched her chin. “That’s true. All of us will believe anything that comes out of anyone’s mouths. I just wish I knew how to make the right choices.” She sighed and looked over at Dinah. Dinah instinctively looked back at her. Both girls didn’t say anything. It was actually more like Dinah didn’t know exactly what to say. Here Camila was showing vulnerability, opening up to Dinah as if she expected to never be betrayed.

 _Because you will betray her. You told yourself you would hate her._ _Why are you helping her?_

Dinah winced as her conscience mocked her. No, fuck it, she liked Camila. She actually wanted to be her friend. And although Dinah didn’t want to admit anything, Camila made her feel good things inside. Despite the fact that she stole Lauren, Camila was a _good_ person. If Lauren had to date someone else besides her, Dinah was glad that Camila was her first choice. She pushed her thoughts to the back of her mind and pulled Camila into a hug, wrapping her arms protectively around her. Camila stiffened in surprise, but not long after, Dinah felt Camila hug her back, burying her head in the crook of Dinah’s neck.

“Thank you, Dinah,” Camila mumbled against Dinah’s collarbone. “Your pep talks are really comforting.”

“Yeah, no problem?” Dinah replied awkwardly. _I’m actually shit with comforting people._

Camila giggled softly causing Dinah to shudder because of the damn vibrations against her skin. Dinah was a cuddler, no doubt about that, but she never had the chance to cuddle anyone who was as tiny as Camila. She bit her lower lip and pulled Camila impossibly closer to her. She scoffed. “Gosh, I can’t believe I’m doing this.”

“Doing what?”

Dinah mentally facepalmed. Of course, she had to say her thoughts out loud. She sighed, pretending she meant to say that. “Hugging you… I don’t know, it feels like I’m a bad hugger.”

“Is it because I smell?” Camila asked curiously.

Dinah laughed and shook her head. “What!? No! It’s just awkward. I feel awkward. I like it, but…” Dinah swallowed the lump in her throat. “Gay.”

Camila giggled again. Dinah’s stomach flipped because of the vibrations and because damn, her laugh was cute. “You’re so cute, DJ, but don’t worry, you’re an excellent cuddle buddy. There’s no denying that.”

“Walz,” Dinah whined. “I’m not cute. I’m loud and tough, and more than occasionally, I’m hilarious.”

“You’re a teddy bear,” Camila argued. “A chaotic one, but still a teddy bear.”

“Maybe in the streets, but not in the sheets.”

Camila pulled away quickly and shoved her. “Dinah! You can’t say that kind of stuff!” She shook her head in disapproval, but the playful glint in her eyes was completely contradictory to her actions. “The walls are thin, and I don’t need my mama to hear that I’m talking about… you know…”

“Right, right, okay…” Dinah said quickly. The last thing she wanted was for a certain motherly Cabello to turn her to stone with her judging glare. She grinned widely. “Can I at least play _Call of Duty_ on low volume?”

“Jesus Christ,” Camila groaned while Dinah just shrugged. “No. I don’t want you to see my terrible stats.”

Dinah rolled her eyes. “Well, I can make them better. Plus I’ve always wanted to shoot people while a girl’s in my lap.” She patted the spot between her crossed legs. “C’mon and sit in mama’s lap.”

“Somehow, I think I’m going to regret this,” Camila said with a sigh.

Dinarrator: She didn’t regret it. In fact, she enjoyed being in Dinah’s lap a little too much. That girl kept crawling on and clinging to Dinah like she was some sort of pet toy or something. And the funniest part? Dinah didn’t mind it one bit.

She may have gotten a little turned on by having a very nice Cuban ass wiggle around in front of her, but Lauren didn’t have to know that. Even if it was a big violation of the best friend code, Lauren broke it the first time she bailed on Dinah. Consequences of any and all actions committed by Dinah Jane Hansen be damned.

When Dinah was on top of the rollercoaster that was her life, she felt the most carefree and exhilarated, completely aware that hell could break loose at any moment. And when it did, Dinah was never prepared because things changing was the one weakness that derailed her formula for success in life.

Dinah never seemed to learn. Never.

* * *

Two tickets in her left hand, aluminum water bottle loosely swinging from her index and middle fingers, her head held high, Dinah had one destination in mind: Lauren’s locker. Honestly, she had been planning this for weeks. The moment she found out that Tove Lo would be in Dallas, Dinah hopped online and got tickets. Fifty a piece wasn’t terrible for concerts, but for a poor dairy farmer’s daughter, $100 did not come by easily.

But it did for the poor dairy farmer, or at least, Dinah hoped it would. Mama Hansen never checked the bank accounts, and her daddy definitely spent too much money on rifles, camouflage, and other dumb rural men’s necessities. Ah, the perks of having stupid parents that left their credit card lying around.

Dinah wanted nothing more than to surprise her favorite girl with concert tickets. She wanted to be the reason Lauren’s cheeks bunched up as she grinned like she would whenever Camila walked into the room. Even if it was only for a few seconds and for totally the wrong reasons, Dinah wanted to feel fucking validated. Was that too hard to ask?

Maybe it was a bad idea to go to Dallas the weekend before final exams, but Dinah already knew she was going to ace them. She checked it herself; the only way she could get a B in most of her classes was if she got a 60% on her exams. Dinah loved being super duper smart.

Regardless, surprising Lauren with a weekend away from town made Dinah ecstatic. Late night cuddling in the back of Lauren’s truck, dancing up against each other at the concert without a care in the world, road trip playlists, Dinah was going to experience it all.

There always had to be an inconvenience, another variable thrown into the equation.

Leaning up against Lauren’s locker beside Lauren was Camila Cabello. Dinah groaned under her breath. Her invitation would definitely make things awkward. _Screw it,_ Dinah thought. _Camila’s my friend. She’ll understand._

Dinah took a deep breath, ignoring the loud thumping of her heart as she approached the couple.

“So, Camz, I was thinking… we should have a camping overnight date, I mean, _outing_ ,” Lauren quickly corrected herself with a bashful smile. Luckily Lauren wasn’t looking in her direction, but Camila was. She sent Dinah a friendly wave, but Dinah quickly placed a finger over her lips.

“Camping overnight? That sounds really fun,” Camila replied. “How about tonight and tomorrow? We can make it a two-night thing.”

Dinah’s stomach lurched at her suggestion. _Please, Lauren, say no._

“Ugh, I’m so glad I keep you around, Camz. You’re freaking brilliant,” Lauren gushed. “I’d _love_ to do it tonight and tomorrow. It’s not like I have any plans anyway. Either way, I’d probably cancel them for you.”

Okay, yes, that was hurtful. Dinah could admit that, but it wasn’t like Dinah made plans with Lauren yet. Still, it wasn’t a very nice thing to say at all.

“What about… Dinah?” Camila asked, awkwardly making eye contact with Dinah. Dinah squinted in confusion.

 _Don’t look at me!_ Dinah wanted to scream.

“Dinah? Why would I hang out with her?” Lauren scoffed.

Camila raised a brow in evident surprise. “Uh, she’s your best friend?”

“Hm, really?” Lauren laughed almost bitterly. “Lately it doesn’t feel like that. It’s always ‘Sorry, I’m hanging out with Mani,’ or ‘Man, I absolutely _love_ Mani. She’s the best person ever!’” Yep, Dinah did not appreciate Lauren’s sarcastic tone. She should have felt glad that she was successfully pissing Lauren off, but to be brought to the same level as chopped liver, how heart-wrenching. Dinah’s jaw clenched in anger.

“Lo, are you okay?” Camila asked with concern.

“Fine, just perfectly fine!” Lauren ran a hand through her locks, tossing part of it to the side. “Which reminds me, I have the perfect spot for our camping adventure. Dinah has this awesome hill on her farm that we hang out on all the time. It’s kind of like _our_ special place, but I’m sure she wouldn’t mind me taking you there. We’re practically sisters.”

Sisters. That damned word kept ringing in Dinah’s head on repeat. That was the final straw. She gritted her teeth, eyes blazing with fury. She clutched the tickets in her left hand, hoping that her fist would end up ripping it with her death grip. Her right hand shook violently until she lost control of her water bottle.

It was the clang heard around the world, and Dinah could only watch helplessly as the aluminum cylinder rolled and stopped right at Lauren’s feet. Slowly, the green-eyed beauty turned around and picked it up. She brought it up to her face to study it until her gaze left the bottle to meet Dinah’s enraged visage.

“Dinah?” Lauren croaked in surprise.

“I came across the most curious thing,” Dinah said in a voice that sounded nothing like her. The humor, playfulness, and joy that usually enriched her tone were long gone. “An opportunity, a chance, a way to make things right… but then I heard my own friend offering to take someone to a special place on _my_ property.” Guilt flashed across Lauren’s features. “You’re lucky that I ain’t gonna be in town this weekend. You can defile it to your heart’s content, share more memories together on a hill meant for _us._ ”

Lauren’s forehead creased in thought. She pursed her lips. “Dinah...”

“You just take, and take, and take. Is that all you can do? Take and use people around you? Not everything is at your disposal, Lauren. _I_ ain’t at your disposal,” Dinah snarled.

“Dinah, I didn’t know-” Camila started to protest.

“Not now, Camila,” Dinah snapped.

Lauren narrowed her eyes. “Hey! Don’t talk to my _girl-_ I mean, _her_ like that.”

“Excuse me? God, you’re so full of crap! I can’t believe you would just _offer_ our special place to Camila like it was nothing, ” Dinah seethed. She let out an angry sigh and snatched the water bottle from Lauren. “You know what? Screw this. I don’t need to deal with your blind bullshit. I’m going home.” Without another word, Dinah stormed off.

“Dinah, wait!” Lauren cried after her. Dinah groaned and picked up her pace, marching to the stairwell as fast as she could. Just as she was about to open the door to the stairwell, Lauren grabbed her arm and yanked her back.

Dinah scowled. “What!?”

“Why are you acting like this?”

“Are you seriously asking me this now?”

“Stop being so childish,” Lauren scolded.

Dinah had to laugh at that. “I’m being childish? Says the bitch who got all bitter because I’m hanging out with Mani more often. Seriously, you have Camila, and I have Normani to keep me company. I don’t see anything wrong with that.”

Lauren shook her head. “You’re always too busy for me! Whenever I try to make plans, you always wanna hang out with Mani.”

“I have tried _constantly_ to make plans with you, Lauren, but you always have prior engagements. You can dish it, but you can’t take it,” Dinah pointed out. She pulled her arm out of Lauren’s grasp. “Now, excuse me, I need to be anywhere but here.”

Lauren grabbed her again. “Dinah, stop it-”

“Stop fucking touching me, Lauren!” Dinah yelled, shoving her off of her. Lauren’s eyes widened in surprise. Honestly, Dinah was a little surprised, too. She never was physical with anyone, not even her sisters. But Lauren just brought out something in her that made her want to slap the shit out of her or push her up against the wall and kiss her. At that moment, it was the former.

Dinah spun on her heels and marched down the stairs. “Dinah, c’mon, let’s talk about this like adults,” Lauren shouted after her as she, too, followed her down the stairs. “Please…”

The blonde paused on the landing and turned around to look up at Lauren. “You know what’s bothering me? The fact that I’m always second place to you. I used to be your one and only, and that made me feel super special. I used to fucking worship you, kiss your fucking ass constantly, Lauren Jauregui. And what do I get for that? Nothing.” Dinah crossed her arms over her chest. “Now it’s all ‘Camz this, Camz that.’ I’m your so-called best friend, but I don’t feel the love at all.”

“You _are_ my best friend, Dinah,” Lauren insisted. “It’s always been that way. But lately, it doesn’t feel like you feel the same way. Like I’ve said, you’re always with Mani. What’s so special about her? I mean, yeah, she’s great, but I’ve been your friend for ten years! We’ve been inseparable since then!”

“Oh, get your head out of your ass! You’ve put Camila over me way too many times,” Dinah fired back. “I’ve had enough of it, so I decided to take care of myself. At least Normani cares about me.”

Lauren’s nostrils flared. She took a menacing step down the stairs so Dinah and she were now at eye-level. “Oh, yeah? She’ll never buy you ice-cream when your cramps are bad. She’ll never cuddle you when you’re sad and refuse to tell anyone. She’ll never make your eyes light up like I do whenever I walk in the room. She’s not _me_ , and you know it.” Lauren’s lips curved into the tiniest smirk ever. “You can’t replace me, Dinah Jane.”

Asshole. Lauren was a big asshole. She wanted to punch the stupid smirk off her face. How dare she expose her weakness like that? Dinah raised a brow. “By the sound of it, you’re jealous.”

“Jealous? No, I’m not jealous,” Lauren hissed. “I’m _pissed._ ”

“Fuck you, Lauren, I’m not someone you can just use and abuse because it’s convenient for you,” Dinah growled. “Pull your shit together and talk to me when you’ve realized what you’ve done.” Once again, Dinah attempted to storm off and leave Lauren alone. But stupid Lauren, stupid, stubborn Lauren couldn’t relent when Dinah was burning with rage.

Lauren grabbed her wrist again. Dinah spun around with her jaw clenching. “Lauren, what the hell-”

“I don’t wanna fight, Dinah. Please, can we quit the dramatics?” Lauren pleaded. “Maybe I haven’t been the bestest friend lately, but you’ve been no better. When I’ve tried to talk to you or be with you, you’re with Mani. I’m pissed because she’s buying into time that could be used for us. That’s not fair to me.” Dinah wanted to protest, to reiterate a point that Dinah wasn’t someone Lauren could use whenever she felt lonely. It hurt her to know that Lauren seemed to disregard how Dinah was feeling, “Camz and I have to hang out all the time because we’re… you know… _dating_.” Lauren’s voice was barely above a whisper. Dinah’s eyebrows scrunched up as Lauren bit her lip. “And I love her… I really love her, Dinah. I’m in love with her. She’ll always come first for me.” Those words were enough to rip Dinah’s heart out, stomp on it, throw it out onto Sinner’s Road, have it run over by a big ol’ semi-truck, and then set it on fire.

Dinah loved Lauren. Lauren loved Camila.

There was nothing more heartbreakingly devastating than unrequited love.

“So you say…” Dinah trailed off. She inhaled slowly, averting Lauren’s soft, concerned gaze. “I think I understand now.” A look of relief washed over Lauren, but Dinah knew it was for the wrong reasons. She smiled sadly at her. “I need to go find Mani. I’ll see you around.”

Lauren shook her head violently. “Dinah, no, that’s not what I meant-” she protested. “I wanted the exact opposite. I want my best friend back before it’s too late...”

Dinah stiffened. Her gaze returned Lauren’s confused one. “She’s already long gone.” Dinah spun on her heels and marched out of the staircase. Lauren screamed after her, but she couldn’t keep up with Dinah’s long strides as she pushed past the small groups of kids near their lockers. She was almost there. She was almost safe in Normani’s presence. The tickets dug into her hands, reminding her of her initial quest.

Normani and Ariana were chatting quietly as Dinah approached them. Dinah cleared her throat. They both turned around. Normani smiled, and Ariana frowned. “Excuse me, Ari, this will only take a few seconds,” Dinah apologized.

Ariana shrugged. “No worries.”

Dinah turned to Normani and took a deep breath. “Mani…” Normani’s brows raised. Lauren finally caught up to her, Dinah’s name still tumbling from her lips, but it was too late. “I got these tickets to Tove Lo. Originally, I was gonna go with Laur, but things have changed, I suppose. So… will you go with me?“

“Oh my God,” Normani started to say excitedly, but Lauren cut her off.

“Dinah… you got tickets to Tove Lo, and you were going to take me? Oh, my God… I’m s-” Lauren said guiltily.

“This is a private conversation, Jauregui,” Ariana hissed, coming to Dinah’s rescue. Dinah was shocked. Since when did Ariana Grande stick up for poor trash like her? Oh, that didn’t matter. “Why don’t you run along and play with my right-hand girl? Since you’ve so cruelly seduced her with your _sapphic_ charm. You might as well treat her right,” she snarked.

Lauren’s eyes widened. “What are you talking about? I didn’t seduce her.”

“Ugh, does it matter? You might not be a lesbian but you _scream_ sapphic vibes. Please leave before I do something I regret.”

Lauren winced and turned to Dinah. “Dinah… please… I’m sorry...”

“Go, Lauren,” Dinah said quietly. “Don’t hurt Camila like you’ve hurt me. She doesn’t deserve that.”

Lauren bit her lip, giving Dinah one last longing glance. Dinah almost felt bad, almost. Lauren should have known that was coming when she said she’d basically cancel plans on her if she had them. Dinah had enough. Lauren had hurt her enough.

She was gone before Dinah could say or think anything else. The blonde sighed and turned back to Normani and Ariana. “Thank you, Ariana, for getting her to go away. That was awfully nice of you.”

“Warriors stick up for each other,” Ariana replied with a small, genuine smile. “I may not agree with you on a lot of things, but I know when I should defend my peers.” She pulled her phone out and glanced at the time. “I should get going. No practice today. See you ladies on Monday.” Ariana waved to Dinah and Normani and skipped over to Shawn Mendes, who was watching on nearby with curiosity.

Dinah let out an exasperated sigh. “Women. Lauren really fucking ripped me apart. God, I’ll tell you all about it on the way to Dallas.”

“I’m guessing our operation has worked tragically well,” Normani noted. “But I still haven’t said yes to the concert.”

“Shit.”

“Oh, shut up, I was gonna say yes anyway.” Normani laughed. “The question is: how do we get to Dallas? My pa won’t let me have the car this weekend, and I know your mama would feel the same way.”

Dinah grinned at her, linking their arms. “I know just the girl.”


	14. fourteen: words of wisdom from dinah jane: don't be stupid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm baack tbh i liked the two week updates better. it gave me more time to spit out the best content for y'all without feeling under too much pressure, so i'll be updating every two weeks from now on most likely. if i get too excited i might post a chapter earlier, but it all depends on how much i write and get done. also thank you guys so much for the support for this fic. it really warms my heart to see y'all as into this as i am. so without further ado... enjoy! :)

Traffic was moving so impossibly slow on I-20, and they weren’t even that close to Dallas yet. It made Dinah wonder if everyone was going to the same concert or something. Maybe there was a baseball game in town, she had no freaking clue.

“Google Maps says that there’s an accident,” Normani reported, looking up from her phone.

“Back in my day, we used to just hope and pray that traffic would pass soon. Y’all are spoiled,” Ashley grumbled from the driver’s seat.

Yes, Dinah’s chosen chauffeur was Ashley Frangipane herself. It turned out she was going to the concert too, and she was more than happy to drive a seventeen and sixteen-year-old there. Maybe it wasn’t her brightest idea, but it was definitely not a bad one. Poor Lauren would definitely be missing her favorite junkie of a lapdog to bitch to. Now Lauren probably only had Ally or Camila to complain to. And knowing Camila, she would most likely defend Dinah.

Ashley yawned, running a hand through her hair. “Ugh. Anyone wanna hear my mixtape?”

Dinah and Normani couldn’t have said “no” any faster.

“Great! I’ll pop it in now.”

“What part of ‘no’ don’t you-” Normani started to say but was cut out by a large screech coming from the stereo. Dinah moved to cover her ears. Was that the devil coming to Earth through a song? The screeching went on for a solid ten seconds. Normani looked like she wanted to punch someone. And then the screeching turned faded into a repetition of several beats that sounded very much like the ending of “Bitch I’m Madonna”.

“This is art, ain’t it? It’s pure art,” Ashley teased.

“If this is art, then I wanna know what the hell Beyonce has been releasing then,” Dinah grumbled. “The audio bible? Yeah, that sounds right.”

“Wow, Dinah, I can’t believe you’d disrespect me in my own car.”

“I’ve done shittier things.”

Normani raised a brow. “By shittier, she means convincing her little brother that sassafras is poison ivy and almost getting him to eat it.” Dinah glared at her, wishing she never disclosed that information. “Mama Hansen was livid.”

Ashley cackled loudly, adjusting her sunglasses. “I can only imagine.”

“It was _almost_ my proudest moment,” Dinah admitted unashamedly.

“Do I even wanna know your proudest moment?” Ashley pursed her lips as she changed to a faster-moving lane. “What about a hint?”

Dinah rolled her eyes and smirked. “Nothing involving animals or children. I don’t do anything involving animals or children.” Normani snorted from the backseat. Dinah whipped her head around to glare at her. “What’s so funny, fool? I’m an honorable woman!”

“You’re about as honorable as Lauren is straight.” Dinah’s nose scrunched up at the mention of the green-eyed beauty. _Lauren._ She was off fucking around with Camila, or texting her multitudes of apologies. Shit, she should check her messages. Dinah had conveniently turned off her phone, but there were probably a few more important people that probably texted her. She pulled her phone out and turned it back on. Twenty-nine notifications. Oh, boy.

 **lauser:** dinah, please...

 **lauser:** i’m sorry.

 **lauser:** please don’t ignore me.

 **lauser:** i love you.

 **Missed Call:** lauser **(6)**

 **walz:** dinah? can we talk?

 **Missed FaceTime Call:** walz **(2)**

 **walz:** i understand that u probably don’t wanna talk to anyone but i’m worried

 **walz:** text me when u feel better

 **curls:** dinah, u ok? lauren called me like ten times and she’s in tears i’m guessing it’s not ur fault this time

 **Missed Call:** curls

 **leprechaun:** what the fuckckc did you do now stinky

 **leprechaun:** harry’s stressed, lauren’s stressed, we’re ALL stressed

 **jersey boi:** dear god what lesbian mess have you gotten yourself into this time

 **venti bitch:** if you ever need to vent(i), i’m here

 **venti bitch:** lol i made a coffee pun

 **Missed Call:** smallz **(10)**

 **smallz:** DINAH JANE HANSEN

 **smallz:** WHAT IN (SORRY LORD) GOD’S NAME DID YOU DO

 **smallz:** PICK UP YOUR FLUFFING PHONE

 **smallz:** AND WHERE THE HECKY IS NORMANI

 **smallz:** I HAVE A CRYING LAUREN, A MISSING GIRLFRIEND, AND A MISSING POLYNESIAN GIRAFFE

 **smallz:** YOU BETTER FIX THIS YOU SHOOTHEAD

 **smallz:** YOU’RE SO LUCKY I COVERED FOR YOU YOU LITTLE BEACH

 **Missed Call:** mama **(2)**

 **mama:** ally visited and said you’re staying with her for the night have fun! make sure you’re back in time on saturday night, dinah jane!

“Normani, you better go get your girl. She texted me a shit storm last night,” Dinah informed her with an amused chuckle.

“Oh, yeah, I know,” Normani replied. “I sorted things out with her thankfully.”

“After this, I’m turning my phone off. No negativity allowed tonight.” Dinah decided confidently. Ashley cheered in approval and Normani gave her a big grin.

**Message Thread: lauser**

**dinah:** i need some time please respect that

 **dinah:** u really hurt me lauren

**Message Thread: walz**

**dinah:** hey mila im sorry i didnt respond faster my phone was off we can talk when i get back

 **dinah:** ily walz ur the best

**Message Thread: curls**

**dinah:** make sure lo is safe and accounted for im a little worried about her we just got in a bad fight hopefully things will blow over soon

**Message Thread: leprechaun**

**dinah:** WHO U CALLING STINKY BUTTER BOY

 **dinah:** things will b fine i got this under control niall

**Message Thread: jersey boi**

**dinah:** idk louis but prepare for a big storm coming the torgaydoes down here are tough n strong

**Message Thread: venti bitch**

**dinah:** thanks for having my back earlier ari see u on monday

**Message Thread: smallz**

**dinah:** ALLY OH MY GDO IS U ACTUALLY MY MAMA

 **dinah:** THIS IS THE MOST IVE SEEN U CURSE IM SORYRYRY

 **dinah:** ITS JUST A STUPID FIGHT THINGS ARE UNDER CONTRROOL OK

 **dinah:** and thanks for covering for my mama i owe u sis

**Message Thread: mama**

**dinah:** k

Dinah shut her phone off and looked back out at the long lines of congested traffic. At this rate, they’d never get to the concert in time for good seats. Blame I-20 for being stupid like always. America needed more interstates. If that killed the environment, at least Dinah could get anywhere she wanted as fast as she could. That was clearly more important than the Earth being polluted by exhaust.

They arrived at the theatre three hours later, and Dinah had never seen a bigger crowd of wackos (or stoners, she wasn’t sure). Tove Lo sure had some interesting fans in Texas. Dinah was half-expecting them to be rednecks. Oh, wait, there went some rednecks walking right by as they waited in line. She really should stop making assumptions.

Ashley promised she would pick them up right after the show. She was going to a visit a friend who was going to college in the area, but she said she would be in good enough shape to drive them back. Dinah had a bad feeling she was lying. That girl loved drugs way too much.

Normani looked super antsy. She was bouncing up and down, lips pursing, and shoulders shaking as she glanced at the front doors of the venue which was another block away. Poor girl seemed to have absorbed Dinah’s stress and was exhibiting it along with her own anxiety. That was why they were friends.

“We’re not gonna get a good seat, are we? No, we’re not. Dinah, we’re so screwed,” Normani whined.

Instead of being a good friend and reassuring her, Dinah grumbled, “shut up.”

“Shut up!? How about you-”

Dinah rolled her eyes. “Normani. It’s fine. We can just push to the front. We’re both big and strong, right?” She grinned when Normani nodded. “Ain’t nobody gonna stop us.”

Normani pulled her phone out, checking the time warily. When Normani was anxious, she always had to look at her phone or at the wall to check the time. That was a weird quirk that Dinah noticed she had. Even if Normani wasn’t impatient and was just worried about something in general, looking at the time was her coping mechanism. In this case, it probably wasn’t helping because doors didn’t open for another fifteen minutes.

Dinah reached over to grab Normani’s hand. She bit her lip harshly and looked up at her with an evidently stressed out expression. “Hey, Mani. Just breathe, alright? I don’t need you freaking on me. You’re supposed to be the level-headed one here.”

“Right, right,” Normani said dismissively. “I just need everything to go perfectly.”

“Let _me_ worry about that. You’re the guest here.”

“I should at least pay you back-”

“Mani,” Dinah huffed. “Cut it out. It’s a gift. If you’re that desperate to pay me back, buy me some merch.”

Normani nodded eagerly. “Oh! I can do that. _Aucun problème._ ” She reached into her purse to pull out her wallet. Dinah couldn’t help but smirk when Normani pulled out absolutely nothing. She burst out laughing as Normani’s nose scrunched up in embarrassment and put her purse away. “Okay, never mind. Guess I’m not doing that.”

“Bummer.” Dinah fake-pouted. “I really wanted a fanny pack.”

Normani raised a brow. “A fanny pack, really? That’s so lame.”

“ _You’re_ so lame.”

“True. But do they even sell fanny packs as merch?” Normani asked a valid question.

Dinah laughed softly. “They should... and macaroni necklaces. I’d love to buy a macaroni necklace with ‘Tove Lo’ in letter beads.”

“You’ve heard of the cheapest date ever, but here’s something better: cheapest concert ever,” Normani joked. “Macaroni necklaces as merch, those fake kid microphones, toy instruments, watered down alcohol…” Normani listed off.

Dinah grinned. “A dime a ticket and the concert takes place in a small public park. Also, the only way to go to the bathroom is to piss in a bush,” she added.

“You can only eat food from the local McDicks.”

“Hey! I like McDonald’s. Don’t be rude!”

Normani smirked and shook her head. “Dinah, I’m pretty sure you love any and all fast food places.”

Guilty as charged. “Yep. It’s a shame that fast food places are so scarce around here. The nearest McDonald’s is in Mineola,” Dinah sighed. “Burger King’s in Dallas, Chipotle’s in Tyler, Dairy Queen’s in Mineola… have I mentioned that it sucks to live in a small town? Poor Ariana’s gotta drive twenty-two miles to get to the nearest Starbucks, and that’s all the way where Sinner’s Road meets I-20.” Normani hummed in agreement as Dinah ranted. “I can’t wait to leave this town. I may be fired for being a lesbo in a place like Nashville, but it’s better than no frappuccinos for miles.”

“This is all hypothetical, of course, but… if Lauren really stays in Silver to wait for Camila. Will you stay with her?”

Dinah’s forehead creased in thought. Normani brought up a good point. A week or two ago she would’ve said “yes” in a heartbeat, but she’d be damned if she let Lauren Jauregui control her life again. Dinah was always a softie, someone who always got walked over all the time, and it was no better with Lauren. She was hopeless, so tragically in love with Lauren that she cried herself to sleep at night. She even carved ‘LMJ’ into the dead tree on the hill and into her own bedpost. Dinah always wanted Lauren to find out about her. She prayed that one night Lauren would open her eyes and stop being so damn naive. She _had_ to see that Dinah loved her more than a friend.

_“And I love her… I really love her, Dinah. I’m in love with her. She’ll always come first for me.”_

It was about time Dinah accept that second best will be all she’ll ever know. Putting herself first was the first step to moving on. Loving Lauren was too painful to continue. She couldn’t. She just couldn’t physically put herself through so much pain again. Not when Dinah looked at Lauren like she created the world while Lauren thought Camila was the true creator.

Her lip curled upwards as she mustered out a “no.”

Normani’s eyebrows shot up in surprise.

“She ain’t gonna do the same for me. Why should I stay around and put myself in pain when she’s out there loving Camila?” Dinah elaborated. A bitter laugh escaped her lips. “I’m doing it, Mani. Fuck the band, and all the other stupid dreams I had with Lauren, Niall, and Harry-”

“Wait. You’re leaving the band!?”

Dinah winced. “Yes? Maybe? I don’t know. Maybe I don’t wanna do it anymore. Not like it’s gonna work out anyway. I can’t even look at Lauren.”

Normani’s expression softened. “DJ, you’re being a bit dramatic… Just because you had _one_ fight with Lauren doesn’t mean you should leave the band.”

“I think it’s different this time,” Dinah pointed out.

“Then don’t run from your problems.”

Dinah swallowed nervously, meeting Normani’s gaze. What was she on about now? Dinah ran from nothing! She was brave, strong -- she didn’t run from _any_ problems. “Huh?”

“What I hear is you being a damn Mopey Melinda because Lauren doesn’t love you back. I ain’t saying you shouldn’t be upset. But Dinah, quitting singing because of a _girl_ not wanting you back?” Normani scoffed. “You _love_ singing. This is your dream. All four -- or five -- of you have worked your ass off to perform your best in front of everyone at Harrison. I find it hard to believe you wanna quit because of Lauren.”

Dinah knew Normani was right, but admitting Normani was right would totally hurt her ego. “I don’t know. I think I’d be a good accountant.”

Normani chuckled dryly. “You don’t want to be an accountant.”

“Alright, I don’t want to be an accountant,” Dinah relented.

“Just… think about it, okay? Let’s not make any hasty decisions. You _are_ really smart, and I’m sure if you wanted to go to college you could. This dream sounds like a good one. Don’t dismiss it so quickly,” Normani said encouragingly.

Dinah grinned widely and threw her arms around her friend. Normani stiffened in surprise but quickly hugged her back. “Thanks so much, Mani. You’ve really been so amazing these past few weeks. I’m glad to have you in my life.”

Normani grinned. “Me too, sis. Me too.”

* * *

Bright shining lights. Smoke oozing out from the wings. Sweat droplets rolling down foreheads. Bodies pressed against each other, swaying to the loud bass. That was what a concert was all about, and Dinah was loving it.

Her curly blonde hair was tangled, frizzy, and wild. Dinah could barely keep it under control, and it definitely agitated her neighbors. Thank God she was wearing a tank top too because the theatre was scorching. She hated hot venues, but somehow she was able to ignore it just by getting lost in the music. Music solved everything. It distracted Dinah from the dull ache in her heart. And painfully, every time she saw green eyes in the crowd, her heart would skip a beat.

_No, brain, you’re here to get over her. Not look for her._

Dinah was always a shitty listener.

Normani was having a blast too. She had let her hair down and let herself dance freely. Dinah noticed that she wouldn’t let anyone dance too close to her. Whenever a guy (or girl) tried to grind up on her, she’d laugh and say “I have a girlfriend who loves me. She’s kind of scary when she’s mad” or something along the lines of that. Normani just said it in a way cuter, precious voice.

_“Shiny, happy, see my world in new colours?_

_Higher fire, fly my rocket through universe?_

 

_I'm up with the kites in a dream so blue_

_I live in the sky, you come live here too_

_I'm queen of the clouds, make my wish come true_

_I sing to the night, let me sing to you_

 

_Baby, listen please_

_I'm not on drugs, I'm not on drugs,_

_I'm just in love_

_Baby, don't you see?_

_I'm not on drugs, I'm not on drugs,_

_I'm just in love_

_You're high enough for me”_

Dinah was singing. Normani was singing. Obviously, Tove Lo was singing. But it was so beautiful how the whole theatre seemed to move in sync. Amplified vocals on top of drunken screams and off-key singing. Dinah was soaking up every moment. She felt like she could finally breathe for once. In the tightest, constrained place possible, Dinah felt like she was free. She loved it.

She felt someone brush up against her, and Dinah immediately whipped her head around. “Wha-”

“Oh, shit! I’m sorry.”

Dinah’s eyes widened. Right next to her was the prettiest girl she had ever seen… after Lauren and Camila respectively. She was skinny, had soft brown eyes, perfectly manicured eyebrows, curly brown hair, and she was very tall. Dinah usually didn’t find girls taller than her attractive, but this girl was definitely an exception. “No… uh, I shouldn’t have been in the way,” Dinah stammered stupidly.

The girl chuckled and rolled her eyes. “It’s kind of hard not to be in the way, ain’t it? We’re packed in like sardines.”

“Yeah. No kidding there,” Dinah agreed.

She laughed again. Dinah’s stomach flipped again, surprising herself. She wasn’t one to feel those sort of things around someone she literally just met. It just showed how desperate Dinah was in general.

The pretty girl smiled and extended her hand. “I’m Zendaya, by the way.”

“Dinah Jane,” Dinah replied, shaking her hand. “I mean… people just call me Dinah though.”

Zendaya giggled once again, and Dinah’s stomach lurched. Jesus Christ, she needed to calm her tits. “Dinah Jane is a pretty name though.”

Coming from a girl literally named _Zendaya._ Dinah thought she sounded pretty stupid. “I can’t believe someone named Zendaya just told me that she thought my name was pretty.” She made an exploding noise and mimicked her brain blowing up. “What a twist!”

“I never said my name _ain’t_ pretty,” Zendaya pointed out. Dinah shrugged in defeat and gave her an uneasy smile. Zendaya exhaled softly and glanced up at the stage. In all honesty, Dinah didn’t really feel like watching the show. She loved “Not On Drugs” - that was one of her favorite songs off of _Queen of the Clouds_ , but if she had to choose between listening to Tove Lo’s crooning and talking to this pretty girl. Sorry, Swedish Pop Bitch!

Zendaya pursed her lips, regarding her curiously. “You ain’t from around here, are you?”

Dinah shook her head. Was her small town girl vibe that obvious? “Nah. I ain’t no city girl. That’s for sure.”

“True. You don’t look like you’re from Dallas,” she remarked.

Dinah scoffed. “And you do?”

Zendaya smirked. “I don’t live in Dallas. I’m from Arlington.”

“Well, that explains a lot.”

“Oh, really? Where are _you_ from?”

“Silver.”

Zendaya’s brows furrowed as if she was trying to recall the location of the town. Dinah would marry her right on the spot if she managed to recognize a town with a population of about six hundred people. “Yeah… is that a made-up place?”

“Oh, come on! It’s seven miles northwest of Mineola.”

The curly-haired girl tilted her head to the side. “Nope. Still drawing a blank there.”

“Okay… uh…” Dinah scratched her head frustratedly. There was no way she had heard of Delta or Webster. Silver was bigger than both of them. “Lindale?” she tried again. That was a bigger town further down Sinner’s Road.

“Yeah, no, sorry.”

Next biggest city was Tyler. And she swore to the Lord Almighty that if she hadn’t heard of Tyler… “Silver’s a forty minute drive from Tyler.” She noticed Zendaya’s forehead creased. Maybe she _had_ heard of that city, but just in case… “It’s an hour and twenty minutes east of Dallas.”

Zendaya huffed in annoyance. “Why didn’t you say that in the first place!?”

“I like to keep people wanting more,” Dinah said nonchalantly.

“Now you’ve piqued my curiosity…”

“Ooh, Dinah, who’s this hottie?” Normani butt in with a shit-eating grin on her face, slinging her arms around Dinah. Dinah rolled her eyes at Normani who was clearly on a concert high.

Zendaya’s amused look faltered as she looked at Normani draping herself over Dinah. “Oh…” she trailed off awkwardly, scratching her chin. “I’m Zendaya. I didn’t realize you had a girl-”

“Me and Dinah!?” Normani squeaked. She started giggling softly, nuzzling her head into Dinah’s neck. Dinah could only watch with bewilderment. Who was the embarrassing friend now? “No way in hell,” she said. “I love my girl DJ, but we’re just friends. Ain’t that right?” She nudged Dinah.

“Uh, yeah,” Dinah mumbled awkwardly.

“Best platonic buddies. Hey, we’re twins,” Normani continued as she let out a giggle that somehow seemed to harmonize with Tove Lo’s wailing. “Remember that joke you told me last week? The one about the performers from the Silver City Circus? The famous… Korhansen sisters! You should tell Zendaya that one. It got me laughing for days! Dinah here is a funny one...” Dinah wanted to slap the shit out of her. Either Normani was stupid, or she didn’t know how to wing woman for shit. Honestly, Dinah had no idea what the heck was going on. She did not sign up for this.

Zendaya raised a brow. “Is she always like this?” she said in an aside.

“No, I really don’t know what’s going on…” Dinah replied uneasily. She yanked Normani’s head up. “What the hell are you doing?” Dinah hissed in her ear as Zendaya looked at them quizzically.

“I’m helping you out. What does it look like?” Normani hissed back.

“It looks like you’re trying to explore your options for the future by being an Ashley Frangipane impersonator,” Dinah deadpanned. “And sorry to inform you, but you won’t be getting the job, you sad clown.”

Normani scowled and stood back up. “This always happens when I try to be a funny and cool wing woman. I end up making an ass of myself. Am I really that boring?”

“You’re not boring, uncool, or unfunny. You’re just stupid,” Dinah said bluntly. Normani rolled her eyes. “Stupid girls don’t get their best friends chicks. Just be your unstupid Normani self if you wanna get me laid. Only stupid people with stupid best friends end up going home empty-handed, stupid.”

“Words of wisdom from Dinah Jane: Don’t be stupid. Gee, thanks, I feel really motivated to advocate for world peace and run for president now,” Normani grumbled sarcastically.

Dinah squealed in glee and squeezed her friend tightly. “There’s the grumpy little shit I’ve been looking for!”

Zendaya cleared her throat awkwardly. “Wow, yeah, I can’t believe I even thought you guys were dating. You guys are best friend goals.”

“Yeah, I mean she kind of is my best friend now,” Dinah said without a second thought. Normani gave her a surprised look. “I mean, my best friend hasn’t been that great to me lately. We’re kind of fighting…” Dinah corrected herself. “But that’s okay, I’m still having a blast. I’ll worry about fixing it later.” She pointed to Normani and grinned. “Normani here has a girlfriend. She’s dating the pastor’s daughter. Scandalous, right? But they’re cute as fuck.”

Zendaya nodded. “Oh, wow, that’s neat. What about you, Dinah? Do you have a girlfriend?”

 _Straight to the point, eh? No need for tedious hows and whys,_ Dinah thought in a stupid, mocking Canadian accent.

“Oh, well…” Dinah cleared her throat. “I don’t, but it’s kind of complicated…”

“She in the closet?” Zendaya guessed. She scowled and crossed her arms. “God, I hate dealing with that.”

Dinah shook her head. “I _wish_ that was the case. I’m hooked on a taken chick.”

“Dude, that s-u-c-k-s,” Zendaya said. Dinah could only nod meekly. Her situation did suck. Honestly, she would rather have Lauren so far stuck in the closet than deal with the fact that she didn’t _love_ her.

“It totally does, but it’s alright. Once I blow this pop stand, I’ll find me a better chick.”

“Or you could… look right in front of you?”

Dinah bit the inside of her cheek nervously. _That was smooth as fuck._ Her eyebrows rose amusedly. One step out of town and someone ends up hitting on her. Dinah thought she was undesirable because if _Lauren_ didn’t want her then no one did. Her judgment was definitely clouded by all those years she spent pining after one girl. Zendaya seemed nice; Dinah could use some niceness in her life. Why wouldn’t she want to try and explore her options?

Because there was always a chance that Lauren felt the same way about her.

Except that was stupid; Dinah needed to follow her own advice. _Don’t be stupid._

“I suppose I could…” Dinah said finally. A small smile curved onto her lips. “But I don’t know… I’m kind of torn right now. I’m not exactly-”

Zendaya gave her a reassuring smile. “That’s okay. You’re just...” She took a deep breath. “Cute and really funny. I know we just met, but I’m really vibing with you, Dinah.”

_Holy shit, I don’t deserve this._

Dinah clenched her fists. She wanted to say yes. This was the first step to getting over Lauren. Zendaya seemed genuinely interested in her, something she had never experienced before. Why shouldn’t she say yes?

“Yeah… me too. You’re really c-cool, Z,” Dinah stuttered.

Zendaya took a confident step towards her causing Dinah’s body to tense up even more. “I like the nickname…” she purred. Dinah shuddered at the way her tone vibrated in her bones. She could practically feel the tension forming from Zendaya’s close proximity and the bass of the music shook her to the core.

_“Day-drunk into the night_

_Wanna keep you here_

_Cause you dry my tears…”_

“What d’you say? Wanna go somewhere more private…?” Zendaya asked lowly. Dinah looked over her shoulder to see if Normani was paying attention. Normani was swaying to the beat of “Talking Body” and singing along loudly, attention nowhere near the two girls. She really shouldn’t ditch her friend… but Normani would understand?

There was also Lauren Jauregui who continued to plague her mind. Even though she wasn’t in the room with them, she could feel her piercing, judging green eyes burning into her. The green-eyed monster, preventing her from being free, taunted her, tempted her, mocked her.

_“You can’t replace me, Dinah Jane.”_

The war in Dinah’s mind, the battle between her head and her heart, was choking her. She exhaled heavily, wondering if Zendaya was judging her for her hesitance. Dinah did reveal that she had feelings for someone still. Lauren shouldn’t be on her mind. Zendaya was easy, willing, she wouldn’t hurt her like Lauren. She hoped so, at least.

_Don’t be stupid._

_But Lauren… I can’t just forget about her._

**_Don’t_ ** _be stupid._

_But what if she loves me?_

_Stop being stupid. She doesn’t care. She loves Camila. Zendaya does care._

Dinah, for once, listened to the rational part of her mind. “Yes,” she said softly. “I’d like that.”

Zendaya had a grin wider than a valley, took her hand and pulled her through the crowd of people. Dinah had no idea where she was going, but she knew that any place with Zendaya would be the best place ever.

Zendaya ended up taking her to the third-floor balcony. No one was up there surprisingly. The show wasn’t sold out, and everyone wanted to congregate on the lower floors so Dinah shouldn’t really be surprised. It was so strange to be in an empty seating area while a concert was going on. Dinah would say it was definitely one of her top amazing experiences.

They stopped in the front row of the balcony. Zendaya smiled widely at her as she pointed down at the crowd. “Ain’t this fucking awesome?”

“It really fucking is,” Dinah agreed breathlessly. She turned to look at Zendaya. “It really fucking is.”

“Talking Body” ended and the crowd erupted into applause. Dinah wasn’t really listening to it, but she clapped politely just because. Honestly, she hadn’t been paying attention to most of the concert. Well, she did grind up on Normani during “Run On Love” but that was the only active participation on her behalf.

_“Before we go, Dallas, I wanna sing this one last song. So put your fucking hands in the air if you’d get stoned to get over someone you lost!”_

Screams and cheers. Honestly? Mood.

_“I eat my dinner in my bathtub_

_Then I go to sex clubs_

_Watching freaky people gettin' it on_

_It doesn't make me nervous_

_If anything I'm restless_

_Yeah, I've been around and I've seen it all”_

“I love this song, you know,” Zendaya said sincerely as she draped an arm around Dinah’s shoulder. Dinah’s heartbeat quickened at the sincere action. “It’s just so… real. Everyone can relate to it, even if you ain’t a stoner.”

Dinah laughed and leaned further into her. ”I know I can relate to it right now,” she sighed. “Love is stupid. Unrequited love is stupider. I need a break.”

Zendaya smirked. “I can give you that.”

_“I get home, I got the munchies_

_Binge on all my Twinkies_

_Throw up in the tub_

_Then I go to sleep_

_And I drank up all my money_

_Dazed and kinda lonely”_

“Maybe you can,” Dinah whispered as she turned her head to face her properly. “Maybe you can.”

Zendaya cupped her cheeks and smiled down at her. “Just tell me if you wanna stop… and I will.”

Dinah definitely didn’t want to stop. She surged forward and brought their lips together just as Tove Lo broke into the chorus. Her first kiss since Lauren and second kiss in her entire lifetime during a concert with someone who was practically a stranger. God, she loved it. Lauren was soft and tentative, but Zendaya was confident and assuring. Dinah was melting, high off the music and Zendaya’s lips. Her tongue glazed over Dinah’s lips, begging for entrance. Dinah gasped as Zendaya slipped her tongue inside her mouth.

_“Spend my days locked in a haze_

_Trying to forget you babe_

_I fall back down_

_Gotta stay high all my life_

_To forget I'm missing you_

_Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh”_

Zendaya gripped her waist tightly and nipped Dinah’s lip. Dinah had a strong feeling this kiss was going to lead somewhere far from innocent.

And that was okay, Dinah felt temporarily liberated from Lauren’s hold on her. Distractions always helped, and Zendaya was the best distraction ever.

* * *

Dinah came home late that night. It was two in the morning, her neck was littered with hickeys, and Zendaya’s lipstick was still smeared on her mouth. There wasn’t any time to hide it, and Dinah already got more than enough teasing from Normani and Ashley on the way back home.

“How strong’s her tongue game? Damn, I gotta get me a girl from Arlington,” Ashley had told her teasingly when she dropped Dinah off at the farm. Dinah flipped her off, refusing to give her any details. “Fine! Be a dick! You ain’t gonna get away with this!” Dinah had total plans of getting away with it

But the moment she entered her house, she was met with a very angry Milika Hansen with those ugly-ass curlers in her hair and a cream nightgown.

Dinah’s eyes widened in surprise, but she kept her cool. _Don’t worry. Ally covered for me._

“Where the hell have you been, Dinah Jane!?” her mama shrieked. “Ally said you’d be home by 9:30 pm! And you come back 26 seconds past 2:21 am!” Dinah groaned. Was Ally dumb? Concerts never ended at 9:30! They started at that time! Her mama marched forward and gasped, giving Dinah a once over.

Dinah was so screwed.

Her index finger jabbed Dinah’s shoulder. “What the hell happened to you? I swear to the Lord Almighty that those bruises on your neck better be from thorn bushes-”

“Y-Yeah, they are,” Dinah stuttered.

Her mama crossed her arms with a look of disbelief. “You mean from the bushes right in front of our house?”

“Yeah, those ones! I accidentally tripped when coming in. Gave me a bunch of bruises…”

“You skipped a grade, but you still dumb as hell, Dinah Jane,” her mama snarked. “We don’t got any thorn bushes in front of our house. You fell for that trap so easily!” Dinah winced. Man, she should’ve known her mama would try to trick her and call her out on her lies. Dinah wasn’t a bad liar. No, she just fell for shit easily.

“I won’t ask again. Where did you get those bruises on your neck?”

“Mama, they’re hickeys…”

“YOU HAD SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE!?”

Dinah winced and shushed her. “No! You’re gonna wake up the family. Don’t talk so loud.”

“Did you just shush me!?”

Dinah groaned, running a hand through her blonde tangles. “I didn’t mean to-” she sighed frustratedly. “Mama, please, it’s late. Waking up Baby Seth and ‘Gina would not be wise.”

She moved to walk away from her bat-shit mother, but her mama caught her wrist and glared at her. “You ain’t going nowhere, Dinah Jane. Not until you explain everything, you heathen. The Lord is always watching. I won’t allow a sinner in my house, especially a _lying_ sinner.”

“I wasn’t lying,” Dinah insisted with a pleading look in her eyes. “I just omitted the truth.”

“Who the _hell_ were you hanging out with? Who were you committing indecent acts with?”

Dinah winced. “Mama…”

Her mama yanked on her wrist, pulling her towards her. Dinah yelped in pain as her mama tightened her grip on Dinah’s poor wrist. The blonde bit down on her lip nervously as dark eyes bore into her own. For a woman that seemed nice and welcoming, Dinah knew the truth about her. She had good intentions. Dinah could agree that was true, but her mama also used the Bible as a goddamn “How To Live Your Life” guide. Well, she followed most of it. Dinah wasn’t sure of most of the conditions listed in the Ten Commandments, but Dinah believed she definitely paid attention to certain details.

For example, Dinah recently read through Leviticus and came upon the iconic line: “You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination”. Dinah could see two things wrong with that. First, whoever the hell wrote Leviticus did not mention lesbianism being a sin; therefore, only gay relationships applied under that rule. Second, if someone were to read that line in a woman’s perspective, the line actually meant that _heterosexuality_ was a sin.

Boom. Words twisted. Meaning achieved.

“Answer me, Dinah,” her mama hissed, bringing her out of her thoughts. “Who was the boy?”

Dinah couldn’t force herself to answer. She didn’t know how to lie. Who would be a good person she could rely on if she had to pretend to be straight? Harry? No. Dinah knew her mama would call her out on her lying then. Niall? Maybe, but he insulted her so much a relationship would totally seem fake. Louis was too gay to function. Chris? Oh, God, she couldn’t believe she even _thought_ about dating Lauren’s brother. Dude, he was like twelve.

She took a deep breath. “Um. I don’t think you know him…” Dinah murmured awkwardly. “He, uh, doesn’t live around here.”

“Well, damn, I wanna know which city allows _boys_ to walk around with lipstick,” her mama said, causing Dinah’s eyes to bulge out. _Shit._ “I mean, I know that lipstick ain’t yours. You’d never wear that dark of a color. I know you, Dinah Jane.”

Dinah winced in horror. Either her mama was really stupid, or she was trying to get Dinah to say it. She never thought she’d be really to tell her mama anything. Her emotions were running high. This was _not_ the time to be spilling her darkest secrets.

The blonde took a deep breath and looked helplessly at her mama. “Mama, I- I don’t know what to say.”

“Caught up in your web of lies, ain’t you, Dinah?” Her mama laughed bitterly as she gripped Dinah’s shoulder roughly. Dinah winced in pain. “You know I didn’t raise you like this. You know I didn’t.”

Dinah’s jaw clenched, words refusing to leave her lips.

And maybe then something broke in her mama’s eyes. Sympathy. Dinah could see the pitiful look that she hadn’t seen since Dinah’s first attempt to run the farm while her parents were away. Spoiler alert: It was a disaster. Her parents came back to her siblings in a frenzy and Dinah standing there with a horrified look that reflected one going on a terrifying roller coaster. That was the last time Dinah actually _felt_ like her mama cared about her.

Her mama’s hold on her softened. “Tell me, Dinah.”

Should she? What was worse than coming out to your mom right before Christmas?

Dinah really should stop giving fucks. Her life basically had no purpose anyway.

“I’m gay, mama,” Dinah said coolly. “I like girls. Tonight, I met a gorgeous girl from Arlington, and I kissed her because it felt _right._ ” She took a deep breath and crossed her arms. “I don’t expect you to approve because I _know_ you won’t. My whole life you’ve been complaining about how homosexuality is an abomination. Guess what? Your _own_ daughter is an abomination. Congratulations! Your worst nightmare is a reality.” Once Dinah was fueled by passion, there was no stopping her wild rants. “Are you _proud_ of me, mama? Are you proud that I finally _told_ the truth? I ain’t a lying sinner anymore. I’m just a big ol’ sinner now.”

Dinah half-expected her mama to blow up at her. She’d be packing her bags soon and leaving. Where would she go though? Ally’s? Her daddy would ask questions. Normani’s? A possibility yes, but Dinah was afraid of Normani’s mama. No one had seen her out in public in years. Only God knew how horrific alcoholism made her. Camila’s? Ha! Fat chance. Lauren’s? As much as she hated to admit it, Lauren was probably her best option.

But to Dinah’s surprise and horror, her mama stayed silent. In fact, Dinah couldn’t read her expression at all. It was like her mama’s soul had left her own body and left her corpus on Earth. That hurt that more than rejection.

Her mama shook violently, slowly removing her hand from Dinah’s shoulder like she was touching filth.

“Please, say something, mama,” Dinah begged quietly.

No words. Nothing. Only a blank stare.

Dinah forced herself not to cry. _Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Why this? Why me?_ She bit down hard on her lip. “I see… I think I understand,” Dinah mumbled as she looked down at her feet. “You know, any reaction no matter how upsetting would be better than this. It’s like I’m a ghost. Am I still your daughter? Mama… please, tell me what you’re thinking.”

Still no response.

“Damn it. I can’t do this,” Dinah hissed. She stormed away from her mama, marching out the back door and slamming it behind her. Once she was outside, she allowed the tears to fall freely. Her mama didn’t kick her out, thankfully, but becoming the Hansen family’s ghost may have been a worse fate. She dropped to her knees and sobbed into her hands.

Her world was crumbling around her. Everyone was leaving her.

Lauren. Her mama.

Who was next?

God help her if she lost anyone else. Dinah didn’t deserve this.


	15. fifteen: girl, you must be outta your damn mind

Stupid paper glow-in-the-dark stars. Who’s idea was it to put those pieces of shit on the ceiling of the band room? What was this, a fucking Disney movie? Dinah wanted to brood… in the dark… in peace. Was that so difficult? Time seemed to move slow after Dinah blurted out her darkest secret to her mama. She didn’t tell anyone, thank the Lord, but just in case, Dinah had been avoiding her family like the plague.

Well, not really, it was only Monday. But only Regina and her daddy noticed that Dinah wasn’t her usual self. When Regina asked if she wanted to watch a movie with her, Dinah declined rather rudely. And when her daddy questioned why she didn’t join the family for dinner, Dinah lied about having tons of homework. Sitting at the same table as her mama hurt her more than she could ever imagine. Her mama looked at her like she was a stranger. In some ways, Dinah was a stranger. Her mama thought she actually knew her second eldest daughter, but Dinah was a completely different woman. Would issues ever be resolved? Dinah didn’t know. Her family would catch onto her mama’s silence soon enough, and she wasn’t ready to explain to Regina that she liked girls instead of boys.

What a big, twisted, fucked-up situation.

 _Whatever. At least I’m not disowned yet,_ Dinah thought.

Dinah never ever came to school early. So this was a new experience. No one showed up at school at 7:00 am except for losers, she learned. In that case, Dinah was proud to say she was the biggest loser Harrison High had ever seen. It beat having an awkward breakfast with her family.

Honestly, she was terrified of returning to school. That meant she had to see _Camila_ and _Lauren_ again. Neither of those girls was an appropriate company. Lauren was a whiny, over apologetic pain-in-the-ass while Camila would ask too many questions. Both of them would see that Dinah clearly wasn’t fine. Dinah ain’t got the time or the energy to face them properly.

The band room’s door swung open and the lights turned on. Dinah swore under her breath and sat up. Who the fuck was coming into the band room at this hour? What kind of…

Shit. _It’s Lauren._

Lauren sighed agitatedly, tossing her bomber jacket to the side and running her hands through her messy dark locks. There were prominent bags under her eyes, ones that makeup clearly couldn’t fix. The first question that came into Dinah’s mind was: did she cause this? Or was Lauren tired from Camila keeping her up _all_ night on her own farm?

Dinah scoffed at the thought and shifted so her back was to the door. Dumb move, Lauren already saw her. She heard papers shuffling and Lauren’s breath hitch. _Don’t look at her, Dinah. Don’t you dare look at her._

“Dinah?”

Like her name was leaving Lauren’s lips a siren’s call, Dinah turned around to face Lauren. She didn’t say anything, only stared blankly while Lauren’s surprised gaze stared right back at her. Lauren quickly composed herself and clutched her music sheets closer to her. “Um, were you… waiting for me?”

“Don’t flatter yourself,” Dinah said coolly. Lauren winced slightly, making Dinah regret saying that. “I mean, you never go to school early. Why should I expect you to be here?” she elaborated.

Lauren shrugged. “True, but I could say the same to you.” She took her backpack off and placed it on the counter behind her before taking a few steps closer to where Dinah was in the center of the room. “When you’re on time to homeroom, it’s a miracle.”

Dinah laughed lightly. “You’re right,” she agreed. Lauren raised a questioning brow, waiting for Dinah’s answer. “You’re absolutely right.”

“So… you’re not going to tell me why you’re sitting in the middle of the band room in the dark? Because that sounds like something an emo would do.”

“Shut up.” Dinah rolled her eyes. “If anyone’s an emo, it’s you Miss ‘Lana Del Rey Wrote Summertime Sadness About Me - Change My Mind’.”

Lauren giggled cutely causing the blonde to grin. Dinah’s heart skipped a beat, and then she remembered she was supposed to be pissed at Lauren. They were in the middle of the longest and arguably biggest fight they’ve had ever. Her smile faltered and she cleared her throat awkwardly. “I’m, uh, just killing time.”

The green-eyed girl raised an inquisitive brow, but to Dinah’s surprise and delight, she didn’t push it. It was like they were at a mutual understanding that questions would only spur them into another passionate argument. Neither of them seemed ready to fight and scream their way to another stalemate.

“Right,” Lauren said stiffly. “I’m gonna, uh… practice for a bit if that’s alright with you.” She gestured to the piano. Dinah nodded, silently questioning why Lauren would need her permission in the first place. “I’m… yeah…”

 _Jesus Christ,_ Dinah groaned internally.

Lauren pulled the piano bench out and sat down. Her loud scooting caused Dinah to wince in annoyance. Stupid floors. Stupid bench. Stupid Lauren. Ugh!

“So, how was the concert?” Lauren asked, breaking the silence.

Dinah wanted to give her an “Are you kidding me?” look, but she refrained from it. It was a goddamn miracle Dinah hadn’t yelled at Lauren for pretending that they didn’t have a huge ass argument on Friday.

“It was fine.”

“Just fine?”

“It was great.”

“Doesn’t sound like it was that great based on your tone.”

Dinah rolled her eyes in annoyance. “What are you trying to get at, Jauregui?”

Lauren didn’t reply at first. She was too busy setting up her sheet music. “Hm? Oh, nothing. Just musing.” She laughed coldly. “Considering you were _oh-so_ hyped about it on Friday, I would think you’d have the time of your life. Do you regret not taking me now?”

Dinah’s jaw clenched. _Lauren, you self-righteous son of a-_ She narrowed her eyes at her best friend. “Are you seriously doing this shit now? Really? Lauren, I ain’t got the time, mood, or patience to deal with your petty bullshit.”

“I wasn’t trying to be petty, Dinah,” Lauren argued. “I was just trying to point out-”

“Point out what?” Dinah interrupted.

Her best friend took a deep breath. “That you… need me,” she mumbled meekly.

Dinah snorted at her accusation. God, was this a repeat of Friday? “Girl, you must be outta your damn mind.”

Lauren gritted her teeth frustratedly. “You know I don’t mean it like that.” Dinah shifted uncomfortably, crossing her arms over her chest as she waited for Lauren to explain. Her best friend took a deep breath. “I just know you, Dinah. You wanted to go with me in the first place, so I thought, you know, you missed me- Shit, I _do_ sound like a selfish, manipulative bitch.” Lauren ran a hand through her hair agitatedly. “I’m sorry, Dinah, really.”

Normally, Dinah would blurt out her forgiveness in a heartbeat, but things had changed. Dinah wasn’t so willing to jump back into Lauren’s arms. “You’ve said it so many times I feel like you don’t mean it.”

Lauren’s eyes widened at her statement. “What!? Dinah, no. I _do_ mean it,” she insisted. “I was so immature on Friday. I don’t even know what I was thinking. I was mad at you, at Mani, at myself… When I’m angry, no one’s safe from my wrath. You’re right, Dinah, I’ve been such a bad friend lately, and I was too smitten by Camila to even _see_ how that was affecting you. I felt so bad after that whole fiasco. I knew you needed space, but… I was so afraid I was gonna lose you then,” Lauren admitted. Dinah’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. She wasn’t expecting that answer. Lauren usually hated to admit that she was wrong. But was she wrong? Maybe Dinah was the asshole here. No, no, Dinah had a perfectly normal reaction to Lauren’s crap. She shouldn’t be blaming herself. Dinah swallowed nervously. “I’m gonna do whatever it takes to make it up to you. That, I promise.”

Dinah exhaled slowly. She believed Lauren; she sounded genuine. A dramatic fight like that should be enough to open Lauren’s eyes. A small smile graced her lips. “You were right, you know. I did miss you.”

“Missed my shitty dancing and off-key singing?” Lauren laughed.

Dinah shook her head. “No. Your dancing isn’t shitty.“

“God, the only thing I do is right is grind and I only grind to songs like ‘bitches.’” Lauren tilted her head to the side and smirked. “Did she perform ‘bitches’ by the way? That song _is_ all kinds of raunchy.”

In all honesty, Dinah’s attention was anywhere but Tove Lo that night. “Maybe… I may need a reminder.”

“What!?” Lauren gasped. “Are you even gay, bro? It’s a song about eating girls out…” A sultry expression formed. “Maybe I should sing you a reminder…”

Dinah’s breath hitched. “Laur…”

_“All the girls stare at me; drop lip_

_Drippin’ in harmony, like Fifth”_

Her cheeks felt extremely heated and she went to hide her face. Lauren’s raspy vocals with those provocative lyrics should not have been allowed. “Christ is watching, Lauren. Remember… Christ is watching.” The green-eyed beauty (more like seductress) got up from the piano bench and leaned against the piano, arching her back so her long, dark locks flowed freely and brushed against the sleek piano. Where was her man Jesus when she needed him?

_“Lay ‘em down, feel ‘em up_

_And they slide away,_ **_so_ ** _easy”_

“T-That’s enough,” Dinah stuttered. Lauren chuckled quietly at Dinah’s flustered state. This really shouldn’t be allowed. Like Lauren was not allowed to look good seductively leaning against a piano and singing about girls wanting to eat her out. Seriously. This was a good Christian, wholesome place. No funny stuff allowed.

“You should’ve seen your face. God, Dinah, you looked so terrified,” Lauren said between laughs. “You totally needed me this weekend. Now I’m just imagining this in a concert setting with mood lighting and my ass pressed up against-”

Dinah groaned and rolled her eyes. “Can you please shut up?”

Lauren only laughed louder.

The blonde sighed sadly, knowing there was some truth to Lauren’s words. “I needed my best friend this weekend,” she said quietly. “Like… really needed my best friend.”

Her best friend’s face immediately scrunched up in concern. “Wait… is everything okay?” Dinah didn’t respond. Memories of the cold stare her mama gave her filled her and shook her to the core. It scared her. How was she supposed to tell Lauren this? Lauren stood up straight and sauntered towards her. “Dinah? Babe…” Dinah quivered as Lauren knelt down next to her, opening her arms cautiously to allow Dinah to hug her. She immediately melted in her arms and rested her head on Lauren’s chest. “You can tell me anything. I’d never judge you.”

She knew that. Of course, she wouldn’t. “I know. I trust you,” Dinah told her. Lauren gave her a reassuring smile. “I came out to my mama Saturday night. I can’t say it was pleasant.”

Lauren pursed her lips. “What did she do? Did she hit you… I swear to _God_ Dinah Jane if she laid a finger on you-”

“No, she didn’t,” Dinah interrupted. “She just… stared at me. She didn’t say _anything._ And we all know my mama won’t ever shut up. She looked at me like I was a stranger. Her _own_ daughter, a stranger. I’m glad I ain’t the oldest and Naki is clearly the favorite in the family. But what now? Am I… dead to my family?” She exhaled shakily. Her chest felt tight like she was about to burst. “I’m afraid to be around them because I’m afraid my family knows. My daddy would hate me, and Regina… oh my God, what if I never get to see Regina again?” She let out a shaky sob and hid her face in Lauren’s chest.

“Dinah, hey, calm down,” Lauren said quickly, rubbing Dinah’s back comfortingly. Dinah’s sobs increased. She _couldn’t_ calm down, not when her fate was left uncertain. “Be glad she didn’t kick you out. That’s _something,_ right? Maybe she’s in shock or denial…”

Dinah huffed. “A-And then what? She accepts it or kicks me out? That’s _really_ comforting, Lauren.”

Lauren tightened her embrace around her. “No, baby girl, no.” _Baby girl._ Dinah’s stupid crush had to ruin everything because a pet name like that got her feeling some sort of way. Wait, she was a top. Shut up, Dinah. “You just gotta be patient… give her time. You need space. You _both_ need space.”

“But my daddy and my siblings… they’re gonna ask questions,” Dinah protested. “Then what?”

“Don’t come home unless you have to,” Lauren suggested. “You’re always out and about because of cheerleading. It won’t be much of a difference.” Lauren was right. Dinah hadn’t been coming home often anyway. This wouldn’t be much of a change. “And… we can spend more time together.”

A large grin broke out on Dinah’s face, but Lauren couldn’t see it because Dinah had her face in Lauren’s chest. _Oh, shit, I better get out of those titties,_ Dinah thought as she lifted her head up. Lauren smiled down at her adoringly, and Dinah properly returned the smile. “I… like the sound of that.”

“I do too,” Lauren agreed, bringing her hand to Dinah’s cheek. “Just like the good ol’ days.”

Dinah bit her lip, looking up at Lauren through her eyelashes. This position didn’t seem very platonic, but was anything they ever did very platonic? Lauren was her first kiss, damn it! There was definitely no turning back from there. She couldn’t tell what Lauren was thinking, but she seemed deep in thought as she stared right at Dinah, and Dinah stared right back. Lauren’s tongue ran over her lip causing Dinah’s heart to skip a beat. A part of her wondered if Lauren was actually going to kiss her. Another part of her wanted to slap herself for even thinking that. Was Dinah that much of a stupid, hormonal teenager that she thought that Lauren would actually cheat on her girlfriend to kiss her? Probably.

Lauren leaned in ever so slightly, but she stopped when Dinah’s phone vibrated loudly on one of the plastic chairs. Her best friend snapped her attention to her phone and narrowed her eyes. “Hm. I’ll get it.”

Dinah raised a brow at Lauren getting _her_ phone. It was probably a dumb meme from Niall or a check-in text from Normani. But judging by Lauren’s astonished expression, it definitely wasn’t from any of their friends.

“Dinah… who’s Zendaya?”

The blonde swallowed the lump in her throat. “She’s a friend…”

Lauren pursed her lips. “Oh? And what’s with the winky face and the ‘Had a great time at the concert! Hope we can meet up soon, beautiful.’”

She had no good excuses for that. “She’s a friend… who I kissed in the heat of the moment.”

Lauren’s face fell. A look of betrayal plastered her features. Immediately, Dinah felt bad, but once again, Lauren’s curiosity confused her. Lauren shouldn’t be looking at her like that. It wasn’t _right._ “Was she the reason you had to come out?” Lauren asked.

Dinah nodded. “Yeah, that’s right.”

The green-eyed girl shifted uncomfortably. “Oh…” she trailed off dejectedly. Dinah had the sudden urge to apologize, even though she had no reason to. There was no crime in kissing another girl. Actually, in Silver, it was a crime, but Dinah wasn’t referring to Silver’s homophobic bullshit agenda. “Was she a good kisser at least?”

“I’m not answering that,” Dinah replied quickly, running a hand through her blonde tresses. “Why does it matter?”

Lauren hesitated, gaze shifting from one end of the room to the other. “It doesn’t,” she mumbled. Dinah tilted her head to the side in confusion. Lauren exhaled shakily and made her way back to the piano. “It just hurts.”

“What hurts?” Dinah probed.

Her best friend shrugged in response and opened the cover to the piano, confusing the shit out of Dinah. Now, look at who was avoiding the subject! Dinah huffed in annoyance. Lauren was so infuriating. She may not be straight, but why couldn’t she be straight with her then?

The only way she would get an answer was if she admitted what was on her mind. She’d have to clue Lauren in on her longing.

“You know…” Dinah said quietly. “When I kissed Zendaya, it didn’t feel right.” Lauren barely looked back up at her. “It felt like I was cheating on you.”

Lauren’s eyes widened slightly, but she quickly composed herself. Dinah took a few brave strides to the piano and took a seat on the bench next to her. Her best friend scooted over so Dinah had more room. The blonde turned her head so she was looking right at her, and to her surprise, Lauren did the same thing. They were in such close proximity, lips only inches apart.

Her green eyes looked glassy as she looked at Dinah with such awe. Dinah hoped that she had finally figured it out. “Me too,” she breathed out warily. “I feel cheated on, knowing you kissed that girl.”

_Holy shit._

Dinah’s breath hitched; Lauren leaned in.

_Fuck. Fuck. No! We can’t be doing this!_

Lauren didn’t kiss her; however, she pressed her foreheads together. That action alone seemed just as intimate as pressing their lips together. Warm breaths hit each other’s lips. Their eyes fluttered shut. Two girls, best friends since the second grade, felt like they were in a totally different realm where it was just them and them only. No girlfriends, no parents, no judgmental assholes. Just Dinah and Lauren, and Lauren and Dinah.

Dinah didn’t know how long they stayed like that. Lauren’s breathing slowed, signifying that she was relaxed. She admitted to being relaxed too. Her best friend always had a calming effect on her. She just never got to fully appreciate it until now.

The green-eyed girl eventually pulled away and smiled gently. As Dinah returned the smile, Lauren kissed her forehead softly. It felt a little more intimate than a normal, friendly kiss.

“Wanna stay with me while I practice?” Lauren broke the silence.

Dinah nodded. Of course, she would! She loved watching Lauren play the piano. “I would never say no.” Lauren giggled. A small blush formed on her cheeks as she shifted to prepare herself for playing. Dinah took the opportunity to lay her head on her friend’s shoulder.

Lauren beamed down at her, took a deep breath before she began to play. Her stomach lurched when she recognized the sweet melody coming from the piano.

 _Piano Sonata No. 14 in C# minor,_ more commonly known as “Moonlight Sonata”. The piece gave Dinah chills every single time, and Lauren must have remembered that. How sweet and kind of her to remember… The way the music seemed to flow from Lauren’s fingers made Dinah’s heart swell.

If someone told her that it was impossible to be any more in love with Lauren Jauregui than she already was, this moment alone proved them wrong.

* * *

“Silver.”

“Pretentious.”

“Uh… Monarchy.”

“Louis.”

“Gay.”

“Rainbows.”

“Unicorns.”

“Mermaids.”

“Sea.”

“Pirates.”

“Booty.”

“Beyonce.”

“Ahh! Dinah’s talking about Beyonce again! Does that count as one word?”

A voice interrupted Dinah and Niall’s game. “What the _fuck_ are you two doing?” Normani asked in obvious surprise. They were standing in line to get the nasty school lunch. Dinah couldn’t have been bothered to ask her mama to make her lunch after Saturday’s fiasco. Monday Meatball Subs wouldn’t be terrible, right?

Niall turned around and grinned. “We’re playing a game.”

“Well, no shit, Sherlock,” Normani fired back.

“Hey, I’m Irish!”

“Isn’t he Scottish though?” Dinah furrowed her brows. “Cause Scotland Yard…” Normani and Niall both gave her puzzled looks. It was safe to assume that none of them knew the answer. “Or we’re all idiots. We’ll go with that.”

“Yeah, we’ll go with that,” Normani mocked.

Dinah rolled her eyes as she grabbed a blue plastic tray. “It’s a game where you basically say a word and then the next person says a word that’s related to it.”

Normani smiled slightly. “I figured as much. That’s what it sounded like. Can I play?”

“Sure,” Niall said as he grabbed his tray. “I’ll go first… uh… templar.”

“Assassin,” Dinah said quickly.

Normani furrowed her brows in thought as she clutched her tray. “Serbia.”

“Sorbet.”

“Strawberry.”

“Seeds.”

“Johnny.”

“Test.”

“Suffering.”

The old lunch ladies gave the three friends incredulous looks as they dumped small piles of meatballs and a tiny hotdog bun on their plate. Dinah’s nose scrunched up in disgust, and she had the sudden desire to retch her breakfast all up on Niall. It’d make him look better covered in puke, in her opinion.

Niall hummed in thought. “Apocalypse.”

“Zombies.”

“Brains.”

“Frankenstein.”

“Monster.”

“Mash.”

Dinah grinned over at her good friend. “Ooh, Mani, that’s a good one,” she complimented as she took an apple and some utensils.

Normani beamed proudly.

The three of them made their way across the cafeteria. Normally, Normani would sit with the cheerleaders, but a lot had changed since Lauren and Camila started secretly seeing each other and Normani and Dinah became friends. Lately, Dinah had been sitting with Normani and Ally at a circular table in the back corner of the room. Lauren and Camila would sit with the boys. So imagine Dinah’s surprise when she saw Lauren sitting at _her_ table with Camila’s obviously confused stare and Ally’s bewildered expression. Dinah gave Normani a weird look, but she was more focused on looking at her girlfriend. _Whipped,_ Dinah thought.

“C’mon, let’s keep going,” Niall urged. “Potatoes.”

“Irish.”

“Niall.”

“Me,” he said as he pretended to flip his hair. Dinah and Normani both rolled their eyes.

“Too.”

“Number.”

“Math.”

“Annoying.”

“Dinah,” Normani said with a big smirk as she put her tray down by Ally. Ally turned and excitedly grinned at her girlfriend, causing her to bite her lip nervously.

Dinah moved to sit next to Normani, but Lauren gave her a cold, hard stare as if she was urging Dinah to sit next to her with her eyes. The blonde shrugged and plopped down in the seat next to Lauren on the other side of Ally. The dark-haired girl grinned as she mouthed a greeting. Dinah had to bite the inside of her cheek to prevent her from grinning right back.

Niall took one of the other empty seats and smirked. “Incompetent.”

“Offended,” Dinah mumbled.

“Unapologetic,” Normani continued.

Camila furrowed her brows. “Are they speaking in some sort of secret language that I’m not aware of?” she asked in an aside.

Lauren chuckled. “No idea, Camz, but it’s really entertaining.”

“They’re playing a game,” Ally informed them. “Niall and Dinah do this _all_ the time when they’re bored. It’s kind of annoying.

Dinah nodded fervently. “Thanks, Smallz. We’re almost done with this round, so let us finish.”

Niall started back up again: “Rihanna.”

“Hot.”

“Dinah.”

“I love you, bitch,” Dinah sang. “I ain’t ever gonna stop loving you, bitch.”

Normani rolled her eyes at her as she adjusted her nasty meatball sub. “I was _just_ saying the truth. No need to get cocky.”

 _“Suck my cockiness. Lick my persuasion,"_ Dinah added on, singing the Rihanna song. For someone that was forced to come out of the closet and had an emotional heart-to-heart with her best friend that morning, Dinah was in a surprisingly really good mood. Lauren could tell too, judging by her adoring smile and her not-so-subtle hand placement on Dinah’s thigh. _Wait, when did that get there?_

Ally tapped Dinah’s shoulder lightly. “How was the concert by the way? Did my covering work?”

Dinah winced. Shit. She bit her lip. “Well, not exactly… but I still had a good time.”

“Oh, Dinah had a _great_ time, if you know what I mean,” Normani hummed.

Dinah’s gaze immediately snapped to Lauren. Surprisingly, the green-eyed girl looked unfazed. She had a relaxed smile on her face as she squeezed Dinah’s thigh.

Camila raised a brow. “Did I miss something?” she asked. “I mean… I’m hearing sexual innuendos and now Lauren and Dinah are all buddy-buddy again? Did I miss a memo? Is there a lack of continuity between events? ‘Cause I am confusion.”

“Well, it’s my story,” Dinah said bluntly.

“Oh, sure, Dinah. The whole world jusr  _happens_ to revolve around you,” Camila said sarcastically. “Everything important that ever occurs around here is about you.”

Dinah sent Camila a wink and shrugged. Camila just rolled her eyes and laughed, digging back into her lunch. Wait, were those Lunchables? Damn! Camila Cabello had good taste.

“To answer your question, Camz, Dinah and I did make up. Right, DJ?” Lauren asked. Dinah nodded in confirmation. “We’re back to the way it was. Closer than ever before. Never been better.”

“About time too,” Normani vocalized.

Murmurs of agreement emitted from the members of their tables. Dinah couldn’t help but chuckle. “Oh, shut up, we’d only been fighting for like two days. And one of those days Mani and I were M.I.A, so I don’t know why y’all are so pissy.”

“We ain’t, but the longest fight you guys had lasted like a day,” Niall said.

“To be fair, it was partially your fault too, Neil,” Lauren sassed.

Camila gasped. “Ooh. She got you there.” She held her hand up and Lauren high-fived her effortlessly. Niall grumbled and took a big bite of his meatball sub begrudgingly.

“You stole Mani from me for a weekend, and that’s seriously all you’re gonna say?” Ally asked incredulously as she crossed her arms. The scowl on her face reminded Dinah of her own mother, but she always considered Ally a second mother. Dinah nodded slowly while Ally huffed. “I’m disappointed.”

“I’m sorry, Ally,” Normani said genuinely. “I’ll make it up to you, okay? How about a quick trip to DQ after school?”

Lauren narrowed her eyes. “Uh, no.” Normani and Ally sent her confused looks. “You both have to work. I ain’t working the diner alone.”

Normani pouted and squeezed Ally’s arm. “Another time?” Ally nodded with evident disappointment on her features.

“Speaking of diners…” Niall trailed off. “Dinah, wanna go grab dinner there? We can invite Harry and Louis. It’ll be a band bonding event.” Lauren gave him a “what the fuck” look. Niall grinned cheekily. “Well, a band bonding event except for Jauregui.”

Dinah raised a brow. “A no-Jauregui event? Sign me up! We can even invite Walz!”

Camila shrugged. “As long as you’re paying, I’m down.”

“Fake friends,” Lauren mumbled under her breath.

Lunch continued as normal, or as normal Dinah thought it could be. Ally kept the conversation flowing easily. She talked about everything from Meemaw Tomlinson’s Christmas cookies to her upcoming finals. Poor Ally was in so many Advanced Placement classes she was afraid she was going to crack under the pressure. That girl had to show up for finals every single day for the rest of the week.

Really, all Dinah was excited for was Christmas.

Her family always went all out for Christmas and it was the first time Naki would be returning home from college after (hopefully) a good first semester. Naki received a full ride to UT Tyler, which was nearly an hour away from Silver if you took Sinner’s Road. Her mama said the reason Sinner’s Road ended at Tyler was that that was the gateway to heaven, and Naki made a good choice in going to college there. There was one fault in her logic: US Highway 69 didn’t even _end_ in Tyler. Her mama seemed to neglect the fact that they had to take a different road to get to UT Tyler. Dinah wasn’t one to correct her batshit mother though. Naki actually wanted to go to UT Dallas, but her mama wanted her in an easily accessible area. Dinah could speak from experience; Dallas was not that easily accessible from a small town like Silver.

Naki chose to study Biology, which Dinah wondered why she didn’t go to UT Dallas for that. They _both_ offered it. But to be fair, every college  _ever_ seemed to offer Biology. Maybe Naki was too stupid for Dallas.

_They’re part of the same university system, dummy._

Thinking about her family made Dinah queasy. Christmas wasn’t going to be the same this year. Unless her mama and she made up before Naki came around… oh, God, that wasn’t going to happen. Dinah looked down at her meatball sub and grimaced. The sloppy, nasty sauce reminded her of a bleeding heart. Not that Dinah had ever seen what a bleeding heart looked like, but Dinah definitely felt like her heart was bleeding. Her mama’s distant, cold demeanor was as deadly as a knife. Poor Dinah was wounded. There was nothing she could do-

A small bit of sauce dripped down the side of her sub sandwich bun like a bit of snot. Dinah’s stomach grumbled in disgust. She felt so queasy and disgusted and…

“Woah there, cowgirl,” Niall addressed Dinah. Dinah snapped her gaze to him and swallowed the lump in her throat. “You doing okay?”

Dinah nodded. “Y-Yeah, fine,” she stuttered.

“You don’t look so good,” Normani noted.

Dinah winced and grimaced. “It’s nothing,” she insisted. “Just the meatballs… all gross, nasty and…”

“Well, hopefully, you’ll get over it, right?” Dinah looked at Ally in confusion. Ally shrugged. “I mean, you told me your sister Naki makes a killer meatball sandwich. And when Mama Hansen puts on her special sauce-”

Okay, now Dinah  _really_ felt like she was going to be sick. She jumped out of her seat. “Shit. Uh.” The whole table looked at her, watching her curiously. Dinah felt naked under her friends’ judgmental and concerned looks. “I just- I gotta go to the bathroom.” The blonde bolted out the cafeteria door before anyone could say anything else.

Her limbs felt on fire. Her body convulsed like crazy as she barreled towards the girl’s bathroom. She yanked the door open suddenly and threw herself inside.

Two eighth graders were standing by the mirror applying makeup. They turned their heads towards the disheveled Dinah Jane and gasped.

“What’re you looking at, punks?” Dinah seethed. “Get out!”

Those eighth graders didn’t have to be told twice.

Dinah stumbled into one of the open bathroom stalls and slumped down to her knees. She grasped onto the porcelain toilet seat like it was her saving grace. Pulling the upper half of her body up on to the toilet. She moaned in pain as she rested her chest so her head was comfortably over the toilet seat.

And she retched.

Like all of the bad thoughts, negative energy, self-deprecation, bottled-up guilty feelings left her body in the form of gooey, nasty red and brown chunks. Dinah wouldn’t go into detail about how nasty her vomit was. No one deserved to know those gory details. She wouldn’t even wish it on Austin Mahone himself. The last of her puke left her mouth thankfully and Dinah rolled off the toilet, gasping for breath as she sunk back against the wall of her bathroom stall.

That was when she let the tears fall freely. “Oh, mama… oh, mama,” she croaked. She felt disgusting, looked disgusting. Wailing like a little child while her mouth was covered in her barf. “Mama don’t love me no more. Mama don’t love no sinners,” Dinah sobbed. “Stupid, Dinah, you’re _so_ stupid.” She wiped her tears with the sleeve of her denim jacket. This day had gone from decent to absolutely horrible.

Of course, it had to get worse. The door to the girls’ bathroom swung open. Dinah quickly swallowed her sobs.

“Dinah?” Camila’s voice echoed through the bathroom. “Are you in there?”

Dinah kept quiet.

“I don’t think she’s in here, Camz,” Lauren replied.

“She said she’d be in the bathroom! Where’d she go? The locker rooms? The second-floor bathroom? That one had a gas leak!” Camila sounded frustrated.

“The gas leak happened last year,” Lauren reminded her. “They obviously fixed it now.”

Another tear rolled down Dinah’s cheeks and she sniffled. And as if Lauren had supernatural hearing or something, Dinah heard Lauren’s boots clank towards her stall. Dinah stupidly left the stall door open too. She turned her head to the left to find Lauren kneeling down next to her with Camila standing right behind her with a worried look.

Dinah suddenly wished there wasn’t puke on her face. “Hey, Ralph… guess you caught me… ralphing.”

Camila snorted while Lauren gave her a hard glare. “Shut up, Dinah. This is serious.”

“Oh, I’m serious…” Dinah mustered a tiny grin. “ _Dead_ serious.”

Lauren rolled her eyes and turned to her girlfriend. “Camz, can you get me some paper towels, some wet and some dry?”

Camila nodded quickly. “Of course, Lo.” She scampered off to the sink area, leaving Lauren with Dinah. She put her hand on Dinah’s back and began rubbing it slowly, getting all of the kinks out of her poor, stressed back.

Dinah shifted and adjusted herself so Lauren could get better access to her back. “I’m so stupid. I look like crap, and I feel like crap… ugh, just the thought of my family just makes me so-”

“I got the towels,” Camila interrupted as she knelt down on the other side of Dinah. She half-expected her to drop them in her lap and leave Dinah to her own devices, but no, Camila had other ideas. Camila used the dry ones to clean up the goop off her face. Yeah, Dinah really hated describing her own puke. Camila then used the wet ones to clean off the rest of her face. Dinah felt like she was in amazing hands. Both girls were doing their best to make sure Dinah was comfortable… she really needed a freak like that, damn.

“So, are you gonna tell us why you feel sick?” pulled Dinah from her thoughts. _Ugh, screw you, Camila._

Lauren gave her a worried look, but Dinah shrugged her off. She trusted Camila. “I came out to my ma.” Plain and simple. Camila stopped in her movements. “She… won’t talk to me. It’s like I don’t exist. And thinking about Christmas… God, that’s going to be the worst.”

Camila grimaced. “I’m sorry, Dinah… You don’t deserve that. You’re  _such_ a good person… I can’t believe she would even think about giving you the cold shoulder. My parents-”

“-would have done the same thing. This is Silver, not fucking Los Angeles,” Lauren snarled.

Camila immediately recoiled, biting down on her lower lip. “...You don’t know for sure.”

“Has your daddy ever said any good things about the homosexuals?”

No answer.

Dinah groaned. “Can y’all seriously not do this now?”

“You’re right. I’m sorry, Camz,” Lauren said. “It just hurts me so much to see Dinah like this. I can’t think straight.”

Camila nodded and smiled. “It hurts me too.” She wrapped her arms around Dinah, surprising her greatly. However, Dinah wasn’t complaining at all. Camila was so soft and cuddly just like a koala. Dinah rolled her head to the side and rested it on Camila’s shoulder. An envious gaze from Lauren caused Dinah to shiver, but she soon realized it wasn’t because Camila was hugging Dinah. It was because Dinah was hugging Camila and not her? Well, this was new, and Dinah certainly wasn’t complaining. Dinah smiled warmly at her best friend and patted the spot next to her. Lauren immediately grinned and scooted over to hug Dinah’s other side, burying her face in Dinah’s neck. It felt right to have the three of them holding each other. It was like three missing puzzle pieces had come and molded together perfectly. Dinah shut her eyes and smiled contently.

Suddenly, Dinah didn’t feel so sick anymore.

* * *

“I want my goddamn burger.”

“Lauren said no.”

“Well, _Lauren_ can kiss my butt.”

Seriously, who invited Dinah to Twin Lakes and expected her to just have water, toast with no jam, and soup crackers? Sure, she vomited a few hours ago, but Dinah was _fine_ now. She didn’t need all of this extra care. Lauren was too much of an overprotective shit. Apparently, so was Camila.

Dinah groaned as Camila took a bite of her burger, clearly disregarding Dinah’s pain. “Fine. I’ll just go ask Mani for a burger.”

“Absolutely not, Dinah Jane,” the woman in question said as she whizzed by their booth to go serve another table. That girl was a ninja! Dinah pouted, knowing Lauren probably told the whole waitstaff to not serve her anything.

“This is so like… not cool,” Dinah protested. “I deserve better!”

Camila smirked as she took a sip of her cola. “Well, if you didn’t have stress-induced nausea, I’d let you get the nicest, juiciest, sizzling-hot Dinah Jane special _ever._ The onion rings would have been fried to perfection. Your burger? Medium rare with just the perfect amount of pink in the middle… and the cheese would be melted and goopy.”

Dinah groaned frustratedly (or in nausea) and banged her fist on the table. “Shut up, Cabello! You’re the worst. I’mma hit you-”

“Hit me and I’ll report you to Lauren,” Camila warned, bobbing her head in the direction of her girlfriend who was currently serving some old men at the counter. Dinah watched her for a bit. Lauren’s forehead would crease when she was rereading her orders or her nostrils would flare when one of the men would make a crude comment. A lazy, loving grin formed on her lips as she watched her best friend work. “She’s really great, isn’t she?” Camila leaned over and whispered, careful not to get anyone’s attention.

Dinah snapped her head around to look at Camila. She felt no shame in nodding in agreement. “She is. Like super great.”

The brunette giggled softly. “We _really_ know how to pick ‘em, huh? She’s hot and caring. I don’t think you could ask for a better girlfriend… or _best friend_ in your case.” Camila’s tone was scaring Dinah lowkey like she knew something that Dinah hadn’t told her. Dinah figured she was just being paranoid because if Camila suspected that Dinah liked Lauren, she _sure_ wouldn’t encourage it. The whole exchange felt weird.

Dinah shrugged. “Right… we do.” She looked back at Lauren who was looking right back at her. Both girls exchanged soft smiles and Lauren mouthed ‘Eat your toast’. Dinah gulped and began eating her bland toast. “Ugh. This tastes like all my will to live being sucked out.”

“You can’t have any _good_ stuff until tomorrow, Dinah. You need to eat this stuff for a whole day,” Camila informed her.

“I don’t have a freaking stomach bug!” Dinah protested, pulling her blonde tresses while Camila rolled her eyes. “Seriously! Stop acting like my mama.”

“I’m trying to help you by being a good friend. If you don’t want my help… then perish.”

Dinah narrowed her eyes and huffed. “You and Lauren are thorns in my sides. You’re lucky I like both of you.” The brunette only grinned and dug back into her burger. That only made Dinah even more envious. Suddenly, she hated Lauren and Camila again. Those girls only existed to make her life miserable. She was _sure_ of it.

The bell rang and Dinah turned around. There came the three boys looking as tired as ever. Harry had on a bright neon yellow stocking cap that made Dinah cringe in disgust. Niall and Louis both seemed to agree because they were giving their friend the strangest looks ever.

“Harry, that hat-” Louis started to say.

“-is fucking gorgeous, thank you very much,” Harry cut him off. He grinned and waved at Dinah and Camila. Dinah waved back hesitantly.

Camila leaned forward ever-so-slightly. “What is he wearing?”

“A fashion disaster,” Dinah answered.

“Scoot,” Niall ordered as he not-so-gently nudged Dinah. Dinah begrudgingly scooted over to allow her friend to sit next to her. Harry gave Camila a warm smile and motioned for her to scoot. Louis glanced at the two possible places he could sit, shrugged nonchalantly and sat in the spot next to Niall. To say Harry wasn’t offended was a lie. He looked like Louis had just told him that his lyrics were shit. Again, also a lie. Dinah liked Harry’s music.

“Hey, where’s ya burger, DJ?” Niall asked, pointing to the toast in front of Dinah’s plate.

Dinah opened her mouth to answer, but Camila beat her to it. “Oh. She doesn’t want one.”

“That’s bull. Dinah’s always hungry,” Louis pointed out.

Sweet, gracious and cheerful Ally bounced to their table with her pen and notepad. “Hi y’all! I’m Ally and I’m going to be your server. What can I get you?”

“Uh… a cola and the breakfast burger,” Harry said.

“Chocolate shake and the nachos… and a side of tots,” Louis ordered next.

“I’ll have the corned beef hash with a side of mashed potatoes and an apple juice.” Niall then pointed to Dinah. “And Dinah here will have her Dinah Jane special.”

Ally raised a brow. “Oh? She’s feeling better! I’ll get one in right away-”

“No, she’s not! Don’t get her anything, Ally!” Lauren shouted from behind the counter. Dinah stuck her middle finger up at her.

“You’re so rude, Lauren!” Dinah cupped her hands over her mouth and screamed.

“Be quiet, you darn kids! Some of us are trying to have a peaceful dinner,” one of the old men shouted from the counter.

Louis rolled his eyes. “Oh my God, old people are _so_ rude. Like what a little bitch?”

Ally let out an exasperated sigh. “...Okay, I’m going to get your food and pretend Louis did not just say that. No Dinah Jane special for Dinah, got it.” Once Ally was gone, Harry swore under his breath and leaned in.

“You guys… we should have had someone else order the Dinah Jane special and then _give_ it to her. No one would notice!” Harry whisper-yelled.

Camila snorted. “I would. And as Lauren’s _friend,_ I’m obligated to tell her everything.”

“What about the cheerleader tenets? You must always keep your squad members’ secrets?” Dinah asked, a little offended that Camila would even think about snitching. Then again, Dinah wasn’t Lauren Jauregui. It wasn’t like Dinah cared about Camila thought of her, right? Well, she totally did.

Niall scoffed. “Cheerleader tenets… sounds so stupid.”

“You’re stupid,” Dinah retorted.

“Oh, yeah? I wrote a song. Something you _wish_ you could do Miss ‘Dancing Like a White Girl’.”

Dinah’s jaw dropped. How _dare_ he bring up that embarrassment up? “...Let me see this song then.”

“Yeah!” Harry agreed enthusiastically. “I wanna see this too. Maybe we could perform it at the next event.”

Niall shrugged and pulled out his journal. Dinah leaned over his shoulder to see a bunch of scribbled nonsense. Or maybe Dinah couldn’t read, she guessed it was the former. Once Dinah squinted hard enough, she could see the first line.

_“We should take this back to my place”_

“Nope!” Dinah slammed the journal shut. “We are _not_ singing any songs about sex. At all. Period.”

“Clever because period means no se-”

Dinah grabbed Niall’s journal and hit Harry on the head several times. “You.” Hit. “Stupid.” Hit. “Boy.” Whack and slam. She slammed the journal back on the table. “This ain’t the time for menstrual jokes.”

A long, awkward silence before Camila said, “period.”

Dinah considered reaching for the journal and slapping Camila with it, but Harry had already taken it and was looking over it. So instead, she threw a toast crust at her. She squealed in surprise and quickly hid her face. Karma.

Harry closed the journal. “This is… really good. Like wow, I’m already envisioning musical arrangements. Although I know that’s really Lauren’s thing… I think we can pull this off. We can put it on our first album. Lauren and Dinah can team up for the chorus and wow...”

“DATB1 is coming for your faves,” Dinah sang excitedly.

“DATB?” Camila repeated curiously.

“Dinah and the Bottoms,” Dinah clarified with a smirk as the rest of the group let out protesting groans except for Louis.

Louis just shrugged. “For a second I thought you meant Dat Boi.”

“You know what, Jersey Boy?” Dinah turned and faced her friend. “You might be onto something there.”

Lauren cleared her throat, catching everyone’s attention. She smiled warmly as she held the tray of drinks. “I have a cola for Harry, a shake for Louis, apple juice for Niall, and… ice cubes for Dinah to suck on.” Dinah’s nostrils flared in anger as she put a small cup of ice cubes right in front of her.

“What the hell, Lauren?” Dinah growled. “I’m not five…”

“I just gotta make sure my bestie feels her bestie for the restie.” Lauren cringed. “Okay, that was terrible.”

Camila laughed quietly. “We know, Lo.”

“Then great. Don’t embarrass me about it later.”

“We totally will be. Right, Walz?” Dinah asked with a wink.

Camila nodded eagerly. “Yup.”

Lauren scoffed. “I hate you both.” She turned on her heels and walked back towards the kitchen.

“No, you don’t!” Dinah and Camila yelled back at her. Lauren stopped and turned around, playfully rolling their eyes before giving them a soft smile. Dinah felt her heart flutter ever-so-slightly.

“You know… you guys would make a great trio,” Louis pointed out.

Dinah chuckled. “Well, yeah, duh. We’re all really close. Of course, we’d be like three natural best friends.”

“No… I mean… _romantically._ ”

Dinah felt her stomach drop. Three people dating? What!? That was nonsense! That only happened in the olden days when dudes would take up like twenty wives. This was Texas in 2017, gay was barely okay here. Dinah hadn’t even heard or thought of… “Huh?” she said dumbly.

Camila shifted uncomfortably. “Please tell me you’re joking…”

“No! I swear I’m not,” Louis insisted. “Polyamory is a real thing.”

 _Stupid Yanks, thinking they’re all cool and woke,_ Dinah thought.

“Well, not here,” Camila snapped quickly. She narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms. “I don’t know what you’re trying to say, Louis, but it’s _not_ happening.”

“Yeah, Camila’s right,” Dinah agreed. “I don’t even know what this polar armory thing-”

 _“Polyamory,”_ he corrected.

Dinah scowled. “Shut up. This is Silver, not Wokelandia. Like dating more than one person is… weird.”

Louis held his hands up in defense. “Alright, alright. Chill out, ladies. I was just saying…” Camila and Dinah exchanged confused glances. Dinah couldn’t help but notice that Camila had a slight red tint to her cheeks, but she wasn’t sure if it was because of anger or embarrassment.

Needless to say, the rest of dinner was very awkward after that.


	16. sixteen: you can trust me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, it's lauren's birthday so here's chapter sixteen. this is also a chapter where i wanted to focus on platonic connections, but i can say for sure laurinah finally happens the next chapter.
> 
> alsooo the song dinah writes is "mississippi" by the secret sisters because i'm on my bs and obsessed with them again.

“ **polyamory** _noun_

the practice of engaging in multiple sexual relationships with the consent of all the people involved.”

Dinah read over that word about ten times on her phone before shutting it off. This was so stupid. Ever since Louis made that dumb suggestion on Monday, it was all Dinah could think about. Polyamory was basically consensual cheating, but that made no sense because cheating wasn’t consensual. Ugh! This was all confusing. As if she wanted to date Camila and Lauren at the same time! However, it could be a good compromise for Lauren if she ever (hopefully) admitted to having feelings for Dinah and still wanted to date Camila.

That was just hope talking, and Dinah didn’t have a lot of it lately.

“Hey, Dinah, have you found the rhetoric book Mila was asking for yet?” Ally asked as she swung around the bookshelf from the other side.

Dinah shook her head and pocketed her phone. “No. Why do we have to help her anyway? Walz is really smart. She don’t need us to help her out with literary devices and all that bull-”

“Well, do you want Lauren to be a Whiny Wanda?” Ally interrupted with a stern look that reminded Dinah of her own mother. Reason #10329 why Allyson Brooke was actually her mother. She’d probably treat her better than her mama anyway.

“She already is a Whiny Wanda. I tried to get her to work on those ellipse problems… bitch drew a hyperbola, and she still thinks it’s right,” Dinah huffed. “This is the girl that corrects everyone on their grammar and thinks ‘clothes is big on me’ is right, my ass.”

Ally shrugged. “To be fair, she had a perfectly logical explanation that should have been put into consideration.”

“Yeah, but she was still wrong.”

Ally rolled her eyes. “Dinah Jane.”

“Ally Brooke,” Dinah fired back.

“C’mon… let’s get back to the girls.”

They rounded the row of bookshelves and made their way to the area with wooden tables where Lauren, Normani, and Camila already were. Normani was squinting hard, trying to do her history review while Lauren and Camila were reviewing a diction packet. It was all fun and games the period before the next final exam, which was Science. Dinah slid into the seat next to Normani while Ally sat on the other side.

“Oh, good. You’re back,” Lauren said in relief as she looked up from the packet. “Did you find the book?”

“Nah,” Dinah answered. “Found something a lot more interesting.”

“What? Erotica?” Lauren muttered, but it was loud enough for everyone else to hear. Camila immediately slapped Lauren on the back of the head. Normani made a weird gagging noise. And poor, sweet Ally squeaked like there was no tomorrow.

Ally groaned. “Seriously, Lauren? First of all, you are so inappropriate. Second of all, you are so-”

“Why would erotica even be in a school library?” Normani asked. “Like that’s just…” She shuddered. “Weird.”

“Disgusting. Also, you know me, Lauren, why would I even-” Dinah started to say.

“Point is: I don’t have that rhetoric book and I’m going to fail English,” Camila interrupted, leaning back in her chair as she crossed her arms over her chest. “Are there any openings at the diner? Or your dad’s auto-shop, Lo?”

Lauren huffed and grabbed Camila’s hands. “Shut up, Camz. You’re _not_ going to fail. We just need to keep going. C’mon.” Camila grimaced and averted her gaze from her. Lauren didn’t give up there though. She pouted and stuck her face right in front of Camila’s. “C’mon, Camzi…” Camila sighed slowly and nodded. She pushed Lauren’s face away and went back to her book.

Normani rolled her eyes. “Ugh. You guys are disgusting.” Dinah couldn’t agree more. Well, their relationship was actually really endearing. They had to be the cutest couple in Silver by a mile. Dinah just… wanted in on the action.

_Liar. You want Lauren._

Dinah sighed in frustration and propped her elbows on the table. “Agh,” Dinah groaned. “This is so stupid.” Her loud behavior caught the attention of the rest of the four girls. She swore under her breath as four pairs of eyes looked at her like she was crazy. “Sorry. I’m stressed.”

Camila blinked. “Wow. Mood,” she said amusedly.

“Get back to work, Camz,” Lauren hissed.

“And you…better correct my math problems.” Normani pulled her math review out of her backpack and plopped it in front of Dinah.

Dinah’s brows furrowed as she looked at the packet. This was going to be a long study session. But at least Normani had the decency to work on something else while Dinah corrected her work. Ally pulled her science book out and engrossed herself in her work.

Normani was terrible at math. There wasn’t even any denying that she was bad at math… like Dinah was sure Normani knew she was so bad. Whenever she’d turn in math tests, Miss Lynn would give her a blank stare and Normani would just grin cheekily. There were notes scattered around the margins, explanations of why Normani did terrible on each and every one of her problems. Dinah found them very amusing.

_“Je ne parle pas les maths, Mademoiselle.”_

_“WHAT iS THIS CON N ER IE!?!?!? TRANSLATION: BUL L SH I T”_

_“The minute you see Greek letters that means you run... I’m booking it to Houston”_

_“What if half of this is a test to see if we’re smarter than a fifth grader?”_

_“*Or this is some secret CIA recruiting process… I AIN’T SMART ENOUGH TO BE A SECRET AGENT”_

_“‘Is it too late to become a stripper?’ - a memoir by Normani Kordei”_

“Mani? Is this your coping mechanism?” Dinah asked.

Normani looked up from her work, barely glanced at Dinah, and nodded. “Yup.”

“You’re a legend,” Dinah remarked with a chuckle.

She giggled and flipped her hair. “I do try.” Lauren briefly looked up from her English work and then looked back down. Dinah couldn’t help but smirk when she noticed Lauren’s hurt expression. _Somebody_ felt left out, and _somebody_ should start writing notes in her margins so she could make fun of her. Just saying.

Dinah licked her lips and went on correcting Normani’s very poor work. Half of the easy stuff wasn’t even done correctly. She supposed it was because she didn’t get the formulas when she was younger. It was a damn shame that nobody was a complete genius like she was. Remembering formulas was totally easy. Dinah swore by it.

“Normani… you totally messed this cross multiplication up,” Dinah giggled. Normani looked up from her book again, clearly agitated. “It’s not even funny how bad it is…”

Normani scowled. “Shut up, Dinah Jane. Not everyone is as smart as you are.”

“She may be the biggest dumbass in Silver, but she can do math,” Lauren mused.

Dinah rolled her eyes. “Rude and unnecessary, Normani just called me smart.”

“Smart at math, but not smart at other things,” Normani corrected herself with a soft laugh. Dinah rolled her eyes.

Camila looked up from her book and blinked slowly. “Can you guys, like, stop? We get it. Dinah has as much common sense as a three-year-old, but I wanna get back to work.” Dinah would be offended by her remark, but she was right. This study session was about Camila getting her English done successfully, and Dinah wasn’t going to argue with that.

She smiled gently. “Sorry, Mila. I won’t bother you again,” she said sweetly. Camila gave her a grateful smile and returned to her work. Her wavy brown hair dropped slightly in front of her face and Camila quickly brought a hand up to fix it as her teeth ran over her lower lip. Dinah instinctively bit her own lip as she watched Camila concentrate. The girl seemed so into her work which was very admirable. It made Dinah wonder how the hell she ended up being single for a while. Well, actually, she and Shawn Mendes dated for a bit. Or maybe they weren’t dating, Dinah was honestly confused by the whole situation. Camila never outright said they were dating, but they kissed and… whatever. She wasn’t going to dwell on it any longer.

Dinah looked down at Normani’s math problems and squeaked. That girl didn’t even use PEMDAS correctly! What was she? Ten? “Mani… I think I’m gonna be sick,” she mumbled.

Normani shot her a death glare. “I hope not. I do not need you vomiting _again._ ”

“Lay off her, Mani,” Lauren warned. Dinah’s heart fluttered. _Lauren Jauregui stuck up for me. That’s more than you can say, ladies._

“Guys, how can you really tell what syntax is? And how do you describe it?” Camila asked. “Like… do you just say ‘the author uses syntax’?”

“No, that’s dumb. You’re basically saying that the author uses sentences,” Dinah answered. She laughed quietly. “The author uses sentences! No, shit. You gotta point out how they use it, like, what kind of sentence.”

Camila blinked. “They use _a_ sentence. That’s what you’re saying, right?”

Ally giggled quietly as she turned the page in her book. Dinah rolled her eyes. “No, Walz, that’s not what I-” Dinah awkwardly cleared her throat. “Here, hold on, I got this.” She pulled her phone out and clicked on the browser. “Lemme just type this in…”

Normani Kordei was a nosy hoe. Dinah felt her obnoxious friend breathe on her neck as she looked at Dinah’s phone.

“Why were you looking up the definition of polyamory?”

If she was drinking tea, Dinah would’ve spit it out all over Ally now. Her breath hitched as she pressed the power button quickly and stuffed her phone away. “Wha- No, I wasn’t-”

“Girl, don’t even lie,” Normani cut her off with a shit-eating grin. “Why do you care about multiple consensual partners?”

Dinah’s gaze snapped away from her phone and towards Lauren and Camila, both with dumbfounded and confused looks. Camila’s lips curled upwards barely, and Dinah _knew_ what she was thinking. _Don’t you dare._ A little too late for that! Lauren furrowed her brows and put her pencil down.

“Ohhh, would you look at the time?” Dinah said boisterously as she stood up, pretending to look at her watch. Fun fact: Dinah wasn’t wearing a watch. “Looks like I have my English exam now, haha, cool. Guess I better get going!” She gathered her things frantically. Oh, God, she was so busted. Her friends totally thought she was weird. Dinah was the biggest idiot to ever idiot.

“Dinah,” Lauren said slowly.

Dinah shook her head. “Shut up, Lauren. I need to get this shiz together.”

 _“Dinah,”_ Lauren tried again.

“Shhh,” Dinah urged.

“Oh my God, Dinah, we don’t have a freaking English exam,” Camila said impatiently. Dinah stopped in her tracks as her jaw dropped. She was caught red-handed in her lie. “We’re in the same English class. We would _know_ if you have an English exam.”

Dinah chuckled nervously. “Um… right. I meant to say I have to work at the diner.” She took off before Lauren or Normani could even say anything.

And just as Dinah opened the library door, she heard Ally clear her throat. “Dinah works at the diner now?”

“Nah, that sneaky little hoe is up to something,” Normani replied.

Dinah gulped and ran out the door.

* * *

“So… you got caught doing something _naughty_ , and now the whole gang wants the truth? You ran out of school just to avoid confrontation?” Ashley repeated as she looked up from the car she was working on. Dinah nodded. The blue-haired mechanic roared with laughter as she used a towel to wipe her greasy hands. “You skipped your Science final _just_ so you could avoid facing your friends.”

Dinah quickly shook her head. “Woah, woah, no, I didn’t skip it! I just took it quickly. Normani tried to sit next to me, so I moved across the room. Then Lauren sat next to me, so I had to move again. I settled for Niall finally because he doesn’t give two shits, but I had to deal with Lauren and Normani behind me.” Dinah chuckled at the memory. “Mani would not shut up during the exam. ‘Dinah, what’s the answer to three, and are you looking for a threesome?’ Or ‘I guess you’re looking to bond with more than one atom to make amazing chemistry.’”

Ashley snorted loudly. “Jesus Christ, Normani did _not_ say that.” She sat on the hood of the car and placed her hands on her hips. “Tell me more. How did Lauren react?”

Dinah held a finger up to Ashley’s lips. “Shh. Mike’s in his office. He’ll know we’re talking about her.” Ashley nodded quickly. “She was blushing like crazy, oh my God,” Dinah gushed. “I don’t think it was because she was cold. Girl, I think she _knew_ why I was looking it up. I told her what happened with Zendaya, and we had a super gay moment.” Both girls burst out into a fit of giggles. “Oh my God, she must think I’m crazy.”

“Knowing Lo’s oblivious ass, she probably thought you were _actually_ just curious as to what it meant,” Ashley uttered.

“But _Camila…”_ Dinah took a deep breath. “God, she’s gonna flip. She was _there_ when Louis said that in the first place. She shut it down faster than she can say ‘I’m not gay’. Do you know how long it took for her to literally get her shit together with Lauren? Like, forever!”

Ashley laughed in agreement. “Too long.” Her expression changed to a serious one. Well, as serious as Ashley Frangipane could get. Dinah hadn’t ever seen Ashley shed a tear or look miserable since she told Dinah about the one that got away. “Listen, she’s not going to kill you. If she asks, just tell her you were doing research!”

“For what!? School is out, and no class teaches polyamory!”

“Okay… what about polygamy being a sin?”

Dinah rolled her eyes. This was getting them absolutely nowhere. “Camila wouldn’t buy that. She knows I ain’t a strict follower of the Lord’s word.”

“The Lord also said we can’t eat lamb or whatever, but we still do it,” the blue-haired girl pointed out. “No one’s a strict follower of the Lord.”

Dinah snorted. “Tell that to Ally, and she’ll die on the spot.”

“Nooo. You don’t think she hasn’t died yet because of Normani?”

Both girls burst out laughing again. Seriously, it was so nice to talk to someone who actually didn’t have any bias. Ashley gave out solid advice and was the perfect person to bitch to when things got crazy. Dinah was glad Austin was able to give one of its greatest gifts to the little town of Silver.

“You know, a threesome _would_ be a perfect Secret Santa gift…” Ashley trailed off. “I suggested that to Lauren, and she slapped me.” Dinah raised an eyebrow. “I’m serious! She’s freaking out over her gift, and time is running out. She wants her gift to be perfect... Doesn’t it end on the 26th?”

Dinah nodded in affirmation. “Yup, it does. I- _wait_.” Her jaw dropped as she facepalmed. Oh, gosh, Dinah was so _stupid._ She literally forgot all about Secret Santa. “Crud,” she muttered under her breath, running a hand through her blonde tresses. “I think I made a big mistake.”

Ashley looked at her in amusement. “Worse than accidentally showing Normani your most recent Google search?”

“I forgot to get Camila a Secret Santa gift! I have four days to get her something good… Ugh, why didn’t I take _her_ to Tove Lo in a jealous rage!?”

“Like I suggested, you could always give her a three-”

“Shut up, Ashley!”

“God, you and Lauren really are perfect for each other.”

Dinah raked her teeth over her lip. “Ashley, I’m going to beat your ass,” she said through gritted teeth. Ashley just grinned, propping her legs up and crossing them. “What would be a good gift for her? Books? A free punch in the face?”

“Gag gifts? Get her banana socks,” Ashley suggested.

Dinah quickly shook her head at that. That was too lame. Camila deserved the best, and she swore she would give her a better gift than Lauren could even think of. “It has to be special. She deserves everything. She’s such a sweet girl, you know? If I got her banana socks, I’d be a bad friend. As her girlfriend’s best friend and her… cheerleading buddy and confidant, I should do my absolute best. Maybe I’ll write or a song or…”

“Get her a typewriter.”

“What!? No!”

“She’s a writer. She’ll appreciate it.”

The blonde groaned. “Since when has anyone in the twenty-first century used a typewriter?”

“Fine. Buy one for her and then Lauren can steal it because she’s a stupid hipster,” Ashley tried again.

“Maybe I should ask someone else for advice on gifts…” Dinah trailed off and pulled out her phone to text Normani. She stopped in her tracks. The minute she contacted Normani - hell would break loose. That girl would confront her about it sooner or later. Dinah wasn’t sure she was ready for that.

How do you explain to any of your best friends that your feelings are weirding you out? You don’t. That was how it worked.

Ashley must have gotten the hint that the conversation was over because she slid off the hood and got back to working on the car. While Ashley popped the hood back up, Dinah leaned against the wall and closed her eyes.

If someone asked Dinah if she ever thought she’d be in this situation at this moment last year, she’d say they were crazy. Last year, everything was fine. Lauren was all over her. Her family was doing just fine, as close as ever. Niall and Harry were the best guy friends ever. Ally was still her sweet loving self. Camila and Normani were strangers, so unreachable that Dinah felt like they were paragons of mankind. Things were better, way more peaceful. Dinah liked it when it was peaceful. Everything just fell into place, and it was _easy._ No need to add an extra variable to the crazy formula that was life. Counting the times Lauren smiled at her in the hallway; dying on the days that she didn’t. Maybe things hadn’t changed all that much.

Or maybe it was better during their junior year when it came to solidity in Dinah’s relationships. She didn’t fight what was given to her. She didn’t speak her mind when she felt unhappy or uncomfortable. She was happy with what she got. The day Camila’s Benz broke down on Sinner’s Road was when everything changed, and Dinah knew it too. She tried to lie and say that Lauren finally having a full-on conversation with Camila wouldn’t change their dynamic. It did. Dinah hated how nothing would ever be the same.

But she knew that meeting Camila was a blessing, she made Lauren _so_ happy. Dinah could only wish she had the power to make Lauren smile that much. A part of her also knew that Camila had that same effect on her. A radiant girl, smiling and goofy, always left Dinah breathless and intrigued. Hating the Veronica to Lauren’s Archie (where Dinah was Betty in this scenario) turned out to be absolutely useless. No matter how hard Dinah tried to force them apart, her soft heart betrayed her, and Dinah knew that she had fallen deep under Camila Cabello’s spell.

But did that mean she liked her? Hell no! Dinah only had eyes for Lauren. _Only._ That was a lie that she kept telling herself. Better to keep her head up her butt than face the harsh reality. There definitely was more to her infatuation and admiration of Lauren and Camila.

“Hey, uh, Dinah…”

Dinah quickly snapped out of her thoughts and looked up at Ashley. The girl had stopped working on the car and was clutching her wrench close to her chest. The look on the girl’s face also wasn’t very comforting. She looked like a kid about to ask their mama for another cookie from the cookie jar.

“What’s up?”

“About your search…”

She sucked her breath in. “Oh, goodness,” Dinah muttered. “Please, just-”

“No, Dinah,” Ashley interrupted. “I need to get some things off my mind, and I’m sure you need to get some things off your chest.”

“...Fine.”

“Why _did_ you look up polyamory? Was it really because you were curious? Or...”

“I don’t know if I should say…” Dinah sighed. “It’s just hard and scary to talk about. I’m afraid of things going to shit, especially since I came out to my mama. I don’t need any more drama. I don’t _need_ any more secrets getting out,” she rambled. “Life’s too shitty, Ash.”

Ashley smiled reassuringly. “You can trust me,” she said sincerely. “I’m a degenerate. People would rather listen to a baby cry loudly on an airplane than my nonsense. Why stoop any lower?”

That made Dinah laugh. Although, she probably shouldn’t laugh at that. Ashley wasn’t a degenerate; she was just misunderstood. “Don’t say that. You’re not,” she countered, shaking her head at her.

Ashley didn’t acknowledge what she said though. She was too busy waiting for an answer. There was no escaping from telling her the truth. “Listen… I’ve accepted long ago that Camila and Lauren are meant to be. In my own twisted way, I have, at least. Lauren looks at her like she puts stars in the sky. She laughs at all her dumb jokes that Lord knows I wouldn’t. That booby trap one is the worst. I swear if she ever tells that one to you, run for the hills,” she said while rolling her eyes. “But deep down, a part of me knew I was different. I wasn’t crazy; Lauren looked at me differently than Ally or Normani. When it came to me, she just… loved. All I saw was love and adoration in her eyes. Whenever I cracked a joke or did something stupid, she’d just smile, laugh, and look at me beautifully regardless. I think that’s what got me falling for her in the first place. Lauren made me feel loved. She loved me so easily that it made it impossible not to love her back.”

Ashley didn’t push her to say anything. She just let Dinah talk, and somehow that gave her even more confidence. “I want to be with Lauren, more than anything. We could get an apartment together when we leave, and we’d stay up late dancing to music or watching shitty TV shows that are only on at one a.m. I’d make her breakfast every morning, and she’d come up and hug me from behind before pressing a kiss on my pulse point. Then we’d go to the studio together, and since we’re poor as fuck, we’d probably take the bus. I’d hold her hand because I know how she gets when we’re in unfamiliar and crowded places. Her eyebrows knit together, and she gets this lost look on her face, and it’s _so_ cute. We spend all day in the studio. She’ll get this super excited look whenever Harry suggests new ideas or compliments her lyrics, and I’d have to wrap my arm around her waist to prevent myself from getting too jealous because she’s supposed to look at _me_ like that. If we’re lucky we’ll all go and jam at the Bluebird Cafe in the evening-”

“Hold up, you _want_ to go to Nashville? That’s another red state!”

“Shut up, Ashley. This is my fantasy.”

“Right, tell the gay to shut up. That’s homophobic.”

“Ashley, I’m literally- You know what, never mind.”

Dinah ignored her friend’s fits of giggles and went right on with her fantasy. “We’d play until like eleven at night, and then we’d go get drunk at some honky tonk. Maybe a few guys will hit on us, and since I love attention, I’ll revel in it. But Lauren? Oh, God, she’d hate it. She’d wrap her arm protectively around me, and… they don’t call her a green-eyed monster for nothing.” She waited for Ashley to burst out laughing, but nothing came out. Her joke had fallen flat. “Green-eyed monster? She’s jealous? _And_ she has green eyes. You know what? Forget it.”

“Listen, from the sound of it, you’re in love with Lauren. Like big time,” Ashley agreed. “And I ain’t as smart as you, Dinah Jane, but I think I got it.” She cleared her throat and placed her hands on her hips. “The only way you’ll end up being with Lauren without being a homewrecking bitch is to get in a polyamorous relationship with her. She dates both you _and_ Camila.”

“Basically? Yeah,” Dinah chuckled. “However, I still don’t know about my feelings for Camila.”

Ashley shook her head. “Woah, woah, no. You don’t have to date Camila. She just has to consent to let Lauren see you along with her. “

Dinah frowned. “That isn’t fair to Camila! I don’t think she would like it if I shared Lauren. She’s not exactly a sharing person, to begin with, or I don’t get a sharey vibe from her. If I’m going to date Lauren, then I need to date Camila too.”

“Woah there, tiger, you’re sounding like a desperate hoe. Does this mean you _like_ Camila?”

“I am _not_ answering that,” Dinah fired back. She knew that Camila was definitely different than her other friends. Maybe she liked hanging out with them more, or maybe she actually liked her more than a friend. She swore she didn’t, but that wouldn’t explain why she couldn’t just say no, to begin with. She didn’t want to hurt Camila when she talked to Lauren about her feelings; that’s why. Sometimes Dinah wondered what it was like to kiss Camila since Lauren seemed to enjoy it way too much when they did. She also loved seeing Camila in cheerleading uniforms, or when she pouted cutely whenever she wanted things to go her way. But did she like her? Dinah couldn’t answer that confidently. Not after Ashley got her all nervous. She glanced down at her wrist. “Oh, would you look at the time? Naki will be home soon!”

“Dinah, you aren’t wearing a watch.”

Dinah ignored her and sped off. “See you after the holidays!”

“Dinah!”

* * *

_"Maple tree_

_Can your branches carry me?_

_Before the war, before the wine_

_Before I stole what wasn't mine_

_Can you bring my baby back to me?”_

A light tapping on the door brought Dinah out of her zone. She shut her lyrics journal and swallowed. Who the hell could be bothering her now? She specifically told Mila to not send anyone her way, especially Hoi and Vaka. Those two boys never gave Dinah enough privacy. Regina was scared of the dark, so there was no way her little sister would venture out across the yard to the barn. And Hoko? Hoko wasn’t due until Christmas Eve. She never came around until food was involved. Dinah and her cousin were one in the same.

“Mila, I said I didn’t want any visitors,” Dinah growled, swinging her feet off the bed.

Another knock. Dinah’s jaw clenched. “Mila, I’m gonna beat your-”

“You seriously think I’m Mila? I asked Mila specifically where you were and I threatened to beat her if she didn’t tell me. You can’t hide from me, sis. Not even in that big ol’ barn.”

“NAKI!” Dinah screamed at the top of her lungs and leaped off the bed. She bounded towards her bedroom door and swung it open. Standing in the doorway was her very own older sister in an orange hoodie and gray sweats. Her hood was up, thankfully. Dinah didn’t want to see her hideous hair. Just kidding! She threw her arms around her older sister, nearly jumping on top of her. If you thought Dinah was tall and big. Well, Naki was way bigger and taller than she was.

Naki grunted in pain as she almost fell over but returned the hug. “My golly, you woulda thought I was at war the way you’re acting.”

“Tyler’s miles away.” Dinah pouted, pulling her big sister into her room. Naki laughed and ruffled Dinah’s hair. “What? I ain’t kidding around. UT Tyler sounds like the Promised Land. Silver’s as dull as it can get.”

“And my genius of a little sister hasn’t taken it over yet? I’m ashamed,” Naki teased.

Dinah rolled her eyes. “Okay, I take it back. I want you back in Tyler.”

Naki sighed gently and took a seat on Dinah’s bed. Dinah plopped down on the other side, reaching to get her lyrics journal. “And what’s this? Are you writing?” Dinah nodded eagerly. Naki grinned. “Oh boy, I can’t wait for ‘Dancing Like a White Girl Part 2’.” Her brows furrowed when she flipped through the journal and stopped on the page Dinah was just writing on. To be fair, she hadn’t used that journal in a while, so finding her newer stuff was very easy. “...Woah, Dinah, what’s this?”

“What’s what?”

“Don’t play coy,” Naki warned as she showed Dinah the verse about the maple tree. Dinah grinned. That was her best work yet. “This is like the saddest thing I’ve read, and I read angsty Stelena fanfiction all the time.”

Dinah’s nose scrunched up in disgust. “First of all, ew, _The Vampire Diaries_ is overrated. Second of all, that’s the outro to a song I’m writing.”

Naki nodded slowly. “So… is this a love song? Break-up song? Did you write it about Betsy?”

“It’s a murder ballad.”

Naki’s eyes widened in shock. “Did you just say-”

“Yup, a murder ballad,” Dinah confirmed.

“Now, I’m _dying_ to know what the chorus is.”

Dinah’s cheeks heated up. She wasn’t sure if Naki would like it. This song that she had been piecing together was kind of dark. No, not even kind of, it was _really_ dark. “You gotta promise not to judge.”

“Sis, I’m _way_ past the point of judging,” Naki pointed out. “You’re writing a _murder ballad_.”

“You right.” Dinah took a deep breath, tapping a set of four beats on her knee before she started singing.

_“Taking off for Mississippi_

_Wearing someone else's name_

_Brought you in this world and I_

_Can take you from it just the same_

_If you leave for Mississippi_

_I will beat you at your game_

_Brought you in this world and I_

_Can take you from it just the same”_

Naki was silent. She looked shell-shocked, and Dinah prayed it was because her vocals were _that_ good. She bobbed her head to the side and chuckled. “I can’t believe I’m saying this but… that’s _really_ good. I’m guessing this murder ballad is about a parent?”

“It’s about an abusive, possessive father who ain’t ready to lose his baby girl yet. She’s found a man, so she’s running away to marry him. The daddy ain’t happy so if he can’t have his daughter, no one can.”

“That’s so dark. Holy crap.”

“I know,” Dinah smirked.

Naki patted Dinah’s shoulder. “My little sis is so talented. She can do it _all._ Sing, dance, write depressing music that makes me want to gouge my eyes out…”

Dinah exhaled heavily. “Naki… don’t say that kind of stuff.” Her older sister chuckled and shrugged. Dinah took the journal from the other girl and sighed loudly. “I’m kind of stuck though. I don’t know how to write a good second verse or bridge, and I kind of want this to be a surprise. When we get back from break I’ll show this to Harry and the rest of the gang. I’m sure they’ll love it.”

“I can help you,” her sister suggested.

“Since when do you write?” Dinah asked, baffled.

Naki scratched her chin, looking from the floor back to Dinah. “Since I started hanging around Stan. He’s a good writer.”

A devious smile formed on Dinah’s lips. Someone had a _crush._ “Oh? Who’s this Stan? Is he cute?” Dinah pried.

“Nah, he’s not into that.”

 _Oh, what a twist!_ Dinah’s jaw clenched. “You mean he’s gay?”

Naki shook her head. “No, no. He’s ace, or whatever it’s called. He doesn’t have any sexual or romantic attraction.” Dinah let out an “ah” and a sigh of relief. At least she could avoid Naki’s prying because of Dinah’s reaction. “Good on him, man. If it makes him happy, I’m all for it.”

Dinah chose not to make any further comment. All she could think about was that Naki would definitely not have that reaction if she came out to her. She could just feel it in her bones. Naki was her mama’s daughter. College may not have opened her eyes as much as Dinah thought initially.

“Anyway…” Naki held her hand out expectantly. Dinah looked down at her journal and then back up at her sister. She reluctantly shoved the leather-bound journal into Naki’s hands. “Let’s see here…” She licked her lips in concentration, tucking a few dark strands behind her ear as she looked over Dinah’s journal. Dinah swallowed the lump in her throat. She felt like Naki was secretly critiquing her, and it honestly scared her. But her sister had always been nice, that had always been the case. Dinah and Naki butt heads in a totally friendly way. They bantered more than they fought. When they were kids, things got more physical; they’d wrestle in the tall grass until Naki pinned her down and called for Dinah to give in. Dinah screamed and squealed in defiance, but Naki always won. She always got what she wanted.

“How about… you talk about the daughter’s plans to run in the second verse?” Naki suggested. “That’s like the main point of the song, right? You gotta get to that part. Also, where’s the death?”

“The actual murder is implied,” Dinah explained. “Do you really think I’m that twisted and disgusting to write the actual ‘I killed my own daughter’ bullshit?”

“Well, not so crassly…”

Dinah rolled her eyes. “Naki, you know I’m such a softie.”

Naki laughed in agreement. “I know. I know. I couldn’t resist.”

An idea popped into her head, the perfect line ever. She crossed her legs and grabbed Naki’s arm. “Naki,” she gasped. “I got something. What about ‘My dear one. Heard you’re whispering your plans to run. Off to marry some rich man’s son. I bet he’s never met a poor man’s gun’?”

Her older sister gasped. “Dinah! That’s great, wow! I can’t believe I’m condoning murder.”

“Hey, when you live in the Hansen household, murder is the least sinful crime you could commit,” Dinah pointed out, flipping her hair flamboyantly.

“Mama hasn’t given you that much of a hard time, has she? I was kind of worried about that.”

Dinah didn’t want to respond; it wasn’t Naki’s business. As far as she knew, Mama didn’t hate her. She just refused to look at her or speak to her. That didn’t equal hating. At least, she hoped it didn’t. She nodded stiffly, but Naki caught onto it. She put Dinah’s journal to the side and scooted closer to her. “Dinah?” Naki tried again.

“It’s fine. Things are fine.”

“Are they?”

“Yes, they are.”

Thankfully, Naki didn’t push it. She knew she shouldn’t keep her feelings bottled up and hidden. So many people already knew of her secret though and how her mama wasn’t speaking to her. Naki was her _sister,_ but Dinah wasn’t ready to talk to her.

“So, how’s Lauren?” Naki asked.

Dinah shrugged. “She’s fine.”

“Just fine?” Naki laughed to herself. “What happened to the girl that would gush endlessly about her best friend? You always have something to say about Lauren, even if it was cause you were mad at her for having better hair than you.” Dinah grunted in response. “C’mon! Even _I_ saw how excited you got when the bus would arrive to pick us up for elementary school because we were the last stop before they left for school. Lauren would always be waiting for you with a big smile on her face. Remember when she had those bangs? Gosh, she’s grown up to be such a beautiful woman now-”

“Naki,” Dinah warned with narrowed eyes. “Please stop. You’re embarrassing me.”

“ _Puh-lease,_ you were practically in love with her, following her around like a lost puppy.”

Oh, she had _no_ idea how close to home that hit. Her eyes widened slightly as she thought about Lauren. She wondered how she was doing for the holidays. She always got amazing gifts for Chris and Taylor. No doubt she got a perfect gift for her Secret Santa too. “Yeah, no kidding,” Dinah mumbled.

Naki’s brows furrowed. She grabbed Dinah’s knee, causing the girl to flinch. “You’re in love with her, aren’t you?”

“What!? No!” Dinah seethed. “As if! I’m not gay!”

Her older sister howled with laughter. Dinah’s nostrils flared in anger. What kind of tomfoolery was this? Her _own_ sister not believing her. “Why don’t you have any boys on your walls then?” She pointed at Dinah’s magazine posters. “I see Beyonce, Leona Lewis, Rihanna… that looks like Nicki Minaj over there. Is that Tinashe? No boys here.” The blonde crossed her arms and scowled in defeat. Naki smirked. “Oh, come on. You don’t gotta lie, you know. I’m your sister.”

She swallowed the lump in her throat, lips pressing together as she looked at the wall. Some days she’d ask herself: _WWBD?_ (aka What Would Beyonce Do?). Beyonce would tell the truth. ‘Cause this is a woman’s world.

 _Okay, Dinah, no need to quote Cher,_ Dinah silently scolded herself with a scoff. She suddenly thought about the old, legendary pop icon singing. Dinah always got off track. It was like whenever she talked, she became a dog. Her attention was focused on one thing, but then a squirrel would run by, and Dinah was off chasing it as if her previous activity was irrelevant.

“You gotta promise to not tell… like anyone,” Dinah said in a hushed whisper. Naki’s eyebrow perked up. “Well, Mama already knows. Unwillingly, on my part.”

Naki frowned. “You’re kind of scaring me, Dinah.”

“I promise it ain’t anything bad,” she reassured her. “But if you wanna leave after I say this, I won’t… blame you.” Dinah averted her gaze from her sister. “Sometimes I wish I could change myself too. It ain’t easy being me.” Her heart pounded loudly. Even though she had confessed this dark secret of hers to many people, she always felt like she was suffocating while doing it. Dinah hated it. She hated herself too. She hated the fact her sexuality was more of a curse than a blessing. Man, she wanted nothing more to walk around screaming “I’m a homo!” while shirtless and doing whatever the heck out lesbians did in the city. “You’re right about me being in love with Lauren. I have been for a long time, and it’s been too much for me to handle. She’s got a girlfriend now anyway.”

Dinah expected Naki to start yelling, to swing her legs off the bed and leave Dinah. That’s what any sensible person would do anyway, but Naki stayed. In fact, she smiled. She didn’t look at Dinah any differently than she did two minutes ago. There was something so relieving about that. “Now, first of all, I always knew,” Naki said. “As I was just saying earlier, you ain’t ever excited to talk about boys. You always loved talking about girls.” Dinah’s breath hitched. Naki caught onto that and shook her head. “Hey, no, Dinah… I ain’t judging. Actually, I’m proud of you.”

“Y-You’re proud of me?” Dinah stuttered in disbelief.

Naki nodded. “Of course! That’s a secret you definitely gotta hide around here. You only can tell it to those that you trust. Really, I’m honored that you can trust me enough with that information.” She reached down and pinched Dinah’s cheeks. “Forget what Mama says. If she can’t accept you, it’s her loss. It’s her fault for choosing words coming from a thousand page book over her own daughter. She should really be disowning you for being a nasty little booger eater.” Dinah stuck her tongue out at her sister. She was really glad Naki was on her side. Maybe she could help convince their mama to give Dinah another chance. It was a reach probably, but her mama loved Naki to death. “But who the hell has Lauren chosen over my smart, beautiful little sis?”

“Camila Cabello.”

Naki nearly choked on her breath. “Bow girl back at Graves? The cheerleader? Brunette who can’t tell a good joke for shiz? The girl that always fell on her ass during pep rallies?” Naki repeated. For a second, Dinah was confused. Naki was two years older than Dinah, turning nineteen just at Christmas. But since Dinah skipped a grade, Naki was actually just a grade ahead of her. Oh, right, they were in a small town. Everyone knew everyone.

“I’m surprised you even know who she is,” Dinah remarked. “But yeah, they’re a thing, and she makes Lauren really happy. That’s all I could ask for her.”

“But you wish it was you making her happy,” Naki said.

Dinah nodded. “Yeah. I do.”

“So, why don’t you steal her girl?” Naki suggested, _lightly_ hitting Dinah’s shoulder. Lightly was a loose term. The Hansens always hit hard.

Dinah had to laugh at that. Oh, how dumb and clueless her sister was. “It’s not that simple.”

“Um, but it is?” Naki raised a brow. “You roll up in your Ford Fusion, knock on that girl’s trailer, whisk her off her feet, and drive off into the sunset. Piece of cake!”

“I wish I had a Hyundai,” Dinah grumbled.

“Dinah! You’re getting off topic!”

“Right, right, sorry…” She sighed and ran a hand through her blonde tresses. How the hell was she supposed to tell Naki that she might like two people? That was no easy task. “Seriously, I can’t just be a homewrecker. As much as I know I’d be the cutest homewrecker Silver has ever seen, I have other issues.”

Naki’s lip curled upwards. “Don’t tell me you’ve been picking your nose again. Nasty little girl. Don’t think I didn’t see you getting those boogers out during Thanksgiving-”

“Naakki,” she whined, hiding her face from her older sister. “Again, I can’t just go and take Lauren from Camila.”

She placed her hands on her hips and scowled at Dinah. “And why the heck not?”

“Because I… might like Camila too,” Dinah admitted in a strained voice. She couldn’t believe she brought herself to say that out loud. Damn! Pat herself on the back and give her a goddamn cookie already.

“Well, why not have both?” Naki suggested. Dinah’s jaw dropped in complete and utter shock. Was this Naki Hansen she was speaking to? Or was she a clone taking her place, created at some freaky lab at UT Tyler? “I’m serious, DJ. Dating more than one person isn’t totally unheard of. I’m sure the three of you would be a great trio.”

Dinah shrugged, feigning a look of indifference. “Yeah. Maybe. I just don’t wanna jump to conclusions or ahead of myself. For now, I gotta get my feelings straight. I gotta talk to Lauren.”

“Sweep her off her feet?”

“No!” Dinah shook her head rapidly. “It’s about time I own up to my feelings. I’m gonna tell Lauren about how I feel.” Naki whistled. “I know it won’t kill our friendship because it’s _Lauren._ She cares. She’ll understand. And if she rejects me… at least I put myself out there. She’ll still have Camila, and I can reconnect with a cute girl from Arlington.” Funny how she mentioned Zendaya now, she had lowkey been ghosting her since the concert. Dinah was officially the worst girl to like, like, ever.

Naki smiled gently. “You’re right, and as your supportive big sis, I’m gonna be cheering you on. Hopefully, I’ll be catching you two fornicating somewhere on this property in the next few weeks.”

“Naki!” Dinah hissed in embarrassment. “She’s _still_ in a relationship. Even if she does have feelings for me, she can’t just break up with Camila.”

“Well, boo-hoo, the little rich cheerleader’s gonna have to suck it up,” her sister grumbled.

Dinah laughed loudly, bringing her hand up to cover her mouth. “Speaking of which, Camila’s my Secret Santa, and I already have the perfect gift idea picked out _finally._ Wanna go into town so we can pick it up and drop it in her mailbox before dinner?”

Naki nodded and held out her pinkie. “ _Promise_ me you’ll tell Lauren about your big lesbian love for her before the new year, okay?”

Dinah latched onto her pinkie with her own and nodded eagerly. She wrapped her arms around her big sister and nuzzled her nose into her neck. “I promise, Naki. You can trust me.”

“I know I can. I just hope you can hold up your end of the bargain.”

Dinah giggled and grinned, grabbing her sister’s hand and pulling her out the door.

For Naki, she would do anything. Blood’s thicker than water, and the bond between the two girls was stronger than the metal chain that locked the pasture’s gates. But admitting her feelings to Lauren wasn’t just for Naki, it was for herself too. Dinah was tired of hiding and being unhappy. It was about time things should change, hopefully for the better.


	17. seventeen: you are my princess, my princess lolo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings for homophobic slurs and domestic/verbal abuse. it's pretty minor, but it's always good to mention it.

“Dinah! Dinah! Look at what Santa got me!”

Dinah looked up from her phone and shut it off. Regina was clutching a big pink coloring book and a brand new Barbie doll. She put her phone down and smiled brightly at her sister. “Aww, that’s adorable,” she cooed. “I guess you were a _really_ good girl this year.”

Regina giggled and spun around. “I’m _always_ a good girl. Santa _loves_ me.”

Dinah just chuckled at her little sister. “Keep that attitude up, and you might end up getting coal,” she threatened. Before her sister could pout and pull an adorable face, Dinah saved herself. “I’m kidding, girlie. You’re the sweetest girl _ever,_ and you deserve all the best gifts in the world.” Regina stuck her tongue and ran out of the room. Probably off to bother Mila or the boys.

She leaned back on the couch and sighed. This Christmas wasn’t that terrible. The Hansens always went all out for it. Considering it was Naki’s birthday _and_ the birth of Christ, Dinah had never had a dull Christmas. Her mama always said Naki was the second coming of Christ because she was born on the same day as Jesus. Her daddy then told her mama to knock it off. Dinah just rolled her eyes at the both of them.

Still no conversation with her mama that wasn’t awkward. It was always forced and Dinah heard her voice crack several times while trying to speak to her.

“Ayo, Merry Christmas, elephant,” Hoko yelled from across the room before throwing something at her. Dinah tried to duck but failed miserably. Some article of clothing hit her square in the face.

She groaned and pulled the thing off her face. “What the heck, Hoko?”

“It’s a Dallas Cowboys jersey! Why you mad?”

Dinah quickly held it up and gasped in delight. She always wanted one of those. The Cowboys were arguably one of the best football teams out there, and Dinah also looked very hot in sports jerseys. During the summer when she was out on the tractors or taking care of the cattle, she’d wear her Mavericks jersey all the time. It was lowkey a lesbian look though. Or at least, Dinah made it a lesbian look for being that iconic.

She licked her lips and hummed in delight. “Thanks, Hoko. You always know the way to my heart.”

“And thank _you_ for the Waffle House vouchers. I’ll be sure to cash those in the next time I’m in Dallas or Longview.” Hoko sighed dreamily. As if Hoko would ever go as far east as Longview or west to Dallas. “It’s a damn shame there’s no Waffle House within thirty minutes.”

“Tomorrow, we’ll go and get some Waffle House, alright?” Dinah offered. She wouldn’t mind treating her favorite cousin to Waffle House at all.”

“You better keep your end of the bargain,” Hoko warned, pointing her finger at her. “Otherwise, there’s gonna be some serious problems.”

Dinah huffed annoyedly and rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah, don’t come between Hoko and her food. You’ll be a dead girl,” she remarked, mimicking Hoko.

Hoko placed her hands on her hips and beamed. “ _Damn_ right.”

Dinah’s phone vibrated in her onesie’s pocket. She raised a brow. Who could be texting her now? It was eight in the morning. Only families with little siblings woke up then. She sighed, throwing her jersey to the side and pulling out her phone.

It was from Lauren. _Lauren,_ the best present ever given to her.

 **lauser:** merry christmas baby! xoxo

Dinah bit back a big smile.

**Message Thread: lauser**

**dinah:** merry christmas to u too bihhh

 **dinah:** why are u up

 **lauser:** ‘cause i love christmas.

 **dinah:** who doesnt

 **lauser:** the grinch?

 **dinah:** well hes a hoe

 **dinah:** stupid boi whos in love with his doge fucken get a life u piece of moss

 **lauser:** ADDJSHD DINAH

 **dinah:** :)

Dinah loved making Lauren laugh. She obviously couldn’t _see_ the dark-haired girl laughing, but everyone knew that ‘ADDJSHD DINAH’ meant that Dinah was the funniest girl alive. They weren’t wrong. Dinah should be a comedic actress. The next cast member of _Saturday Night Live,_ if she really wanted.

She looked down at her phone. Lauren was typing; those three dots looked hella ominous. Dinah was a little scared.

 **lauser:** how are things with you and your mom?

Dinah looked up, suddenly get the great urge to screech like a pterodactyl. She shook her head and looked back down at her phone.

 **dinah:** idk how to answer that

 **lauser:** are they good? bad? amazing? awful?

 **dinah:** still the same ol’ shiz i think mamas given up on me

 **dinah:** honestly i should have seen this coming at least she hasnt kicked me out

 **dinah:** naki still loves me and ill be out of the house at the end of the school year they wont own me anymore

 **lauser:** dinah…

 **dinah:** things will b fine im dinah jane nothing can bring me down easily

 **dinah:** except maybe boobs… ur boobs specifically

She wished she hadn’t sent that, but it was too late. Lauren was already typing a response. Dinah let out a stressed sigh. This was exactly why Dinah was the dumbest girl alive. Her tendencies to blurt everything out would be her downfall.

 **lauser:** my boobs are pretty great, aren’t they? (:

 **dinah:** i should NOT have said that

 **lauser:** no, you totally should have. i’m flattered.

 **dinah:** ur boobs aint the only thing i find great

 **lauser:** oh yeah?

 **dinah:** yeah

 **dinah:** u know just how to pour my colas right like damn daddy

 **lauser:** JASLKJSDHK

The quickest way to get someone to fall in love with you was to make them laugh. Dinah prayed that worked on Lauren. Dinah put her phone down. As much as she loved texting Lauren (she _really_ loved texting Lauren), she had other family affairs to attend to. And shouldn’t Lauren be texting her girlfriend? Dinah wasn’t a homewrecker or the other woman _yet._

“Naki! Come in here!” her mama called from the kitchen. Ha, jokes on her, Naki was in Mineola. Dinah grabbed her mug of hot chocolate and brought it to her lips. Speaking of which, where the hell was the rest of her siblings? Trying out Vaka’s new Xbox? It’s more likely than you think.

“Naki, just because you’re an adult don’t mean you can defy your mother.” Mama’s voice was getting louder and louder. Dinah involuntarily clutched onto her mug like it was her safety blanket. Her gaze locked on to the Christmas tree as she took a big gulp of her hot cocoa. “Naki?” Dinah could tell by her voice that she had arrived in the living room. She stopped in her tracks. “Oh,” she breathed out.

“Hey, ma,” Dinah said coolly, not even looking at her.

“Where’s your sister?”

“How should I know?” Dinah blurted out, surprising herself. Whatever happened to the girl who walked around eggshells around her mother; oh no, that bitch’s dead. She could feel her mama glare at her. Dinah silently wondered if that was her resting face. Some people had resting bitch face. Milika Hansen had a serious case of resting rude mama face. “She’s in Mineola picking up stuff from the bookstore. She should be back soon.”

Her mama hummed in reply. “Right.”

See? This was exactly what Dinah was talking about! There was no color or texture or flavor to anything her mama said to her. Dinah was practically dead to her.

“Mama, when are you going to talk to me?” Dinah asked with slight frustration. She put her mug back down on the table and turned to face her.  “I’ve been a stranger for weeks. It’s like-”

“I have nothing to say to you, Dinah,” her mama cut her off shortly.

Dinah looked up and properly gazed at her own mama. Hell, she wasn’t even _looking_ at Dinah. “Usually you’re yelling at me about the dishes by now. Things haven’t been the same since… that Saturday,” Dinah mumbled while her hands twitched nervously. “I think we should just talk things out, okay?”

She shook her head. “There’s nothing to talk about. Dinah, don’t be silly,” she reprimanded.

“But there is!” Dinah raised her voice. “You know damn well that there is. You’re just- you’re just-” She pulled at her blonde tresses. “I know what it is. You’re in denial. You wanna pretend that I never said anything, don’t you? Pretend things ain’t what they are. Your perfect, idyllic life where your daughter’s _normal_ -”

“You watch your tone, young lady,” she snapped. Dinah immediately recoiled, feeling like a young eleven-year-old girl that accidentally broke a vase. Her mama sighed loudly, rubbing her temples furiously. “What do you want me to say, Dinah Jane? Because if you’re looking for some validation or a fucking #1 trophy, I’m not giving it to you. You know how I feel about you fucking homos.” She winced at the slur. She really should’ve seen it coming. Here Dinah was, about to get kicked out of her own home, and it couldn’t have come at a better time.

“But you know what, Dinah? I’m not gonna kick you out. No, no, I’m not even gonna tell your papa or your sisters and brothers about this either. Because that’s what you expect me to do, ain’t it? Be like _all_ those other parents in Silver who would willingly dump their kids to the side as soon as they came out. If I kicked you out, I know exactly where you’d go. Right into that best friend of yours’ trailer. Cry about it while you listen to dyke music and touch each other’s breasts.” her mama seethed. “I’ve _seen_ how you look at her, following her around like a damn lost puppy. Practically _begging_ her to look at you and do sinful things to you. You’re pathetic.”

Dinah’s jaw clenched in anger. “Don’t you dare bring Lauren into this, mama. She has _nothing_ to do with this.”

“I know she ain’t got anything to do with this, but you want me out of your life, don’t you? If I push you out, you’ll finally go into her arms. You’ll finally get rid of the big, bad, evil mother.”

“Shut up!” Dinah screamed, jumping to her feet. “This ain’t about Lauren! Me coming out was never about Lauren! You _made_ me come out because you just can’t keep your nose out of my business! You want to control every aspect of my life. So yes, maybe I do want freedom, but you’re still-” She choked on her breath and covered her mouth. “You’re still my mother. okay!? You’re still my mama, and I love you. No matter how much we fight, quarrel, and scream, you’re _still_ my ma! I don’t wanna lose you!”

Her mama was silent, staring at her with a solemn expression. Dinah was on the verge of tears, restraining herself to the best of her ability. She exhaled heavily and forced herself to keep looking at her.

“I love you, Dinah, but I don’t love your sin,” her mama said coldly. “You can’t expect to have your cake and eat it too. I’m hoping and praying that this is some phase or sick joke-”

“But it’s not!” Dinah sobbed. “It’s not! I’m _still_ me.”

“The Dinah Jane I know isn’t a dyke. I will tolerate you, and I’ll be as polite as I can be until this all hopefully blows over. One day, you’ll get your head out of your ass and see that you’re just being a rebellious teenager that wants to defy her mama.” Dinah opened her mouth to protest, but her mama had already spun on her heels and was making her way towards the kitchen. “When Naki comes back, tell her I asked for her.”

“Why don’t you tell her yourself, huh!?” Dinah spat. “Since I’m practically nobody, you shouldn’t have any problems-”

Her mama surged forward and grabbed Dinah’s locks, yanking them harshly. Dinah howled in pain. She looked up and met the death glare of her mother. “This is still my goddamn house, and you will fucking respect me.” Another harsh yank to Dinah’s hair. “Being a homo doesn’t make you special, you selfish bitch.”

Dinah bit down hard on her lip and nodded fervently. She’d do anything to get her mama to stop the excruciating pain she was inflicting on her. Her mama let go of her and pushed her back not-so-gently. And then she was gone, but Dinah still very much felt her presence in the room. Her mama always soured her mood and created thick tension in whatever room she was in. Dinah sunk back down on the couch and grabbed her phone. There was only one thing she could do; only one person who could make things better.

**Message Thread: lauser**

**dinah:** can i see u tonight

 **dinah:** i wanna talk to u about something

 **lauser:** anything.

 **lauser:** i can come over to your place. does 8 sound okay?

 **dinah:** 8 sounds perfect

 **lauser:** okay! (:

 **dinah:** i love u

 **[unsent]:** more than u know

 **lauser:** i love you too, baby.

Dinah could hardly wait for tonight.

* * *

Dinah managed to clean up her room a bit, surprisingly. All her dirty clothes were finally put in the wash. Her floors were no longer littered with unfinished homework assignments and beyond satisfactory test scores. She was sure there were a few magazines and books lying around too, but she didn’t feel like cleaning up.

All she had to do was wait, and wait she did.

With a plate of chocolate chip cookies in her lap, her leg bounced nervously as she kept checking her phone. _8:05._ One more minute and Dinah would assume Lauren was a no-show.

Dinah sunk back onto her pillows and sighed. Wonderful.

A light knock on her door saved her. She quickly sat back up. “Uh, it’s o-open,” she stuttered. The door creaked open and Lauren slipped inside. She looked so adorable. Her dark hair was a little messy, probably from the wind. Her cheeks were slightly pink from the cold weather, and she was wearing a down coat.

“Hey,” she greeted in her raspy voice that sent chills down Dinah’s spine.

Dinah smiled weakly. “Hi.”

Lauren smiled broadly and took her coat off to reveal her red and green flannel shirt. Adorable, she was Dinah’s adorable Christmas baby. She pulled off her hiking boots and climbed onto the bed, crawling up to where Dinah was. Her eyes fluttered shut as Lauren pressed a gentle kiss to her cheek and nestled into her side.

_See, why does she always do that!?_

“Do what?” Lauren asked.

Dinah’s stomach lurched; of course, her stupid, good-for-nothing ass would say that out loud. She cleared her throat awkwardly. “Nothing, ah, never mind.”

“Mmm, okay,” Lauren hummed suspiciously. “How are you?”

“Meh…” Dinah replied honestly. “I’m feeling a lot better now, like a lot.”

Lauren rolled her eyes and giggled. “Gosh, you’re such a dweeb.”

 _A dweeb that’s hopeless for you,_ Dinah thought. Instead, she shook her head. “Nah, I’m just saying the truth.”

“The truth makes you sound like a dweeb,” Lauren taunted.

“Girl, you better shut up…”

“By all means, make me.”

Dinah slapped her hand onto Lauren’s mouth. Lauren squirmed and squealed, shaking her head violently. “Dinah!” she let out a muffled squeak. “Dinah, I can’t breathe!”

“Do you… _like_ that, Lauren Jauregui?” Dinah asked in a teasing tone that resembled a phone sex operator. It was a very specific description, yes, but an accurate one.

“Shut up,” she mumbled before detaching Dinah’s hand from her mouth. Dinah laughed loudly while Lauren’s cheeks heated up. “Dinah… stop…” That only spurred Dinah on more. She arched her back and guffawed, bringing her hand up to cover her mouth to hide her laughter.

She sighed and shook her head. “Sorry, Lauren, I’m sorry,” she exhaled. “You just make it so easy for me to make fun of you.” Dinah booped Lauren’s nose. “You’re a ball of sunshine and cuteness.”

Lauren narrowed her eyes and sat up slightly, resting on her elbows as she glared up at Dinah. “Excuse me!? I ain’t a ball of sunshine!” she insisted. Her eyebrows knit cutely in frustration, sending Dinah into another fit of giggles. “Dinah, I’m not- Stop laughing!” She thwacked Dinah on the shoulder.

“See? That’s the thing! You’ve got this old pick-up truck. You carry around cigarettes because they make you look cool, but I’ve only seen you smoke, like, three times in my entire life. And those three times, you stopped when I gave you a weird look. You wear all black and your wardrobe consists of leather and bomber jackets, ripped jeans, short skirts, but when I gave you a unicorn onesie when we were thirteen, you fucking _lost_ your shit. When it got all worn out, you cried when your dad said you had to get rid of it,” Dinah went on to explain. Lauren’s expression got more and more annoyed as she spoke. But Dinah wasn’t finished yet. Oh no, she wasn’t even _close_ to being finished.

“And then there’s all the times you get excited over _every_ cute thing ever. We see a possum on my farm? Daddy got his shotgun and you burst into tears. You say: ‘No, don’t! Let him run free!’ Like those damn possums are a curse, but you’re obsessed with that shit! Then there are all the times you look at Camila like she invented Nutella, or she was a Golden Retriever puppy, or she just gave you a lifetime supply of Nutella _and_ a free puppy.” Dinah burst out giggling at her own words because honestly? She imagined Camila doing something like that as a Valentine Day’s gift, and Lauren would want to marry her on the spot.

Lauren marrying Camila. Okay, that was not a happy thought. Scratch that.

“Are you done yet?” Lauren asked with cheeks as red as Dinah’s Christmas stocking.

“Nah,” she drawled. “Not one bit, baby.” Lauren groaned quietly, burying her head in the crook of Dinah’s neck in embarrassment. Dinah tangled her fingers in Lauren’s hair and scratched her head gently. “You also make this cute ‘aww’ sound whenever you find something adorable. It makes my heart melt. You’re an adorable marshmallow.”

Lauren groaned into Dinah’s collarbone. “Fuck you.”

“Mmm, take me to dinner first.”

“Fine, I will.”

“Nah, you wouldn’t. I don’t believe you.”

“Are you serious, Dinah? I would take you on a date any day. Anywhere you wanted!”

The line between lovers and friends blurred again, as always with Lauren and Dinah. She pursed her lips. She had to tell Lauren and soon because holding off this information off one more second would kill her. She promised Naki, but most importantly, she promised herself she would tell Lauren how she felt.

But how?

_Easy. We could start with a touch of a hand like a movie scene._

_No, no. You go all out. GRAB HER BOOBS AND SQUEEZE!_

Dinah really wished she wasn’t so immature. Like really. This was not helping anything. Everything had to be a joke. Everything _was_ a joke, but she was serious about Lauren.

“Lauren, I-” she started to say, words getting trapped in the back of her throat. “I-” An idea popped into her head. She had to start simple. Say what Lauren already knew: she loved her. _Platonically._ “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Lauren replied easily. Too easily. It made Dinah’s heart sink at how blind Lauren was.

“No, I don’t think you- you don’t get it,” Dinah tripped over her words. “I _love_ you.”

Lauren lifted her head from Dinah’s neck and sat up. She tilted her head to the side. “I do get it. I love you, too.”

“No, you-” She exhaled heavily. “Lauren, it ain’t- this ain’t-” Dinah rolled over and buried her face in her pillow. “Fuuuuck.” By now, Lauren had sat up and was rubbing Dinah’s back comfortingly. She kind of wanted to push Lauren away. Maybe tell her to leave her alone. That was something a coward would do though, and Dinah was brave. She was oh-so-brave.

“Baby, I can’t understand you unless you use your words,” Lauren urged. Dinah grunted in response. “What’s wrong?”

“Things and stuff,” Dinah said. “Things that stink besides fish and… fish.”

“What?”

Dinah groaned loudly. “Gosh, I wish you weren’t so friggin’ slow all the time. Either that or I’m an emotionless asshole that can’t show her feelings for shit! God, can I ever win?”

Lauren inhaled sharply. She stopped rubbing Dinah’s back. “Wait… do you like someone? It ain’t that Zendaya girl, is it?”

“Yes!” Dinah shouted, completely disregarding Lauren’s second question.

“You _like_ Zendaya?” Lauren hissed.

“No!” Dinah shouted again. She sat up and turned to face Lauren, grabbing both of her hands and placing them on her lap. “Lauren, it’s _you._ _You!_ ”

Lauren’s face fell slightly, and Dinah’s stomach lurched. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. This was a bad idea. This was such a bad idea. How could Dinah be so _stupid_? “I thought you loved me?”

“What? Yes!” Dinah anxiously replied. “I just said that, you-”

“You just said you liked me. Not loved, there’s a huge difference there, babe,” Lauren pointed out. Dinah was just about ready to tear her own hair out. “I always had a suspicion that you loved me. You’ve always acted so differently around me, so when you just said you liked me, I thought I was interpreting things wrong and-”

“No!” Dinah yelled, causing Lauren to flinch. “I mean, no, you weren’t interpreting things wrong. Not at all. Lauren, I’ve loved you for years, and I was too stupid and dumb to do anything about it. I was so insecure and lied and played myself. I was scared. The last thing I wanted to do was lose you. And now I pushed you into Camila’s arms, and I’m stuck here like a pathetic loser because I love someone who I can’t have, and she’s happier without me!”

Lauren shook her head, grabbing onto Dinah’s wrists. She felt tears well up in her own eyes when Lauren gave her the softest look she had ever seen. Dinah felt so vulnerable, too vulnerable, and it was far too much to handle. “Baby, no, it ain’t like that.” Dinah sniffled quietly. She was going to cry. Oh, crap, she was going to cry. “Shh, hey, can I just… can I just explain some things real quick?”

Dinah nodded. “Y-Yeah, of course.”

“I don’t know when I fell in love with you, but I’m pretty sure it was during our first Homecoming dance freshman year. You wore that blue velvet dress that was definitely way too short for a school dance in a God-loving high school-”

“That was to my knees, Lauren,” Dinah interrupted quickly, glancing at her closet that _still_ held that dress. “It wasn’t breaking the school dress code.”

“Well, if I, a fourteen-year-old baby gay, got super flustered while you wore it, then it was definitely _not_ school appropriate,” Lauren defended her statement quickly. Dinah stifled a laugh and rolled her eyes. “But I remember that I couldn’t keep my eyes off of you the entire night, and I got extra upset when you danced with Niall or Harry because a part of me was dying to be held by the girl in the velvet dress. Watching you dance and laugh and really shine that night was just as much of a sexual awakening as when puberty really started to hit you. I mean, _holy_ shit, your breasts, babe, you really turned from my cute best friend in grade school to my smokin’ hot best friend that I secretly wanted to bang…” Lauren exhaled dramatically, bringing one hand to place it on Dinah’s chest. Dinah’s breath hitched at the innocent yet not-so-innocent action. “Dynamite.”

“Lauren…” Dinah muttered. “Cut it out.”

Lauren shook her head. “Nope. I’m never going to stop complimenting you.” The blonde exhaled. There really was no stopping Lauren when she had something to say. “I guess I didn’t know how to convey my feelings or how to react at all because… a part of me always just knew I liked you more than a friend. No, loved you more than a friend. I kissed you sophomore year because I wanted to, and I let you squeeze my breasts that one night when we were fooling around, and I told you my biggest turn on was neck kisses and spanking. _Damn,_ has anyone told you that you have really long fingers?” She used her unoccupied hand to grab Dinah’s and interlock their fingers. Dinah bit the inside of her cheek.

_When did this become a sex fest? Not that I’m complaining but I’m trying to admit my undying love for my best friend, and all she’s doing is talking about how much she wants me. Wow._

“But enough about that, I didn’t realize it at first, but I fell in love with you then. And I always knew you treated me differently than everyone else.” Lauren took a deep breath. “Why I went for Camila? I guess it was because I thought we were just really, really close best friends. I didn’t want to make assumptions. And I definitely liked Camila, but she was like the dream girl, a  fantasy that would never become reality… I guess I was wrong because we’re dating, and we have been for more than three months. I don’t ever regret falling in love with her.” Okay, that one stung a bit admittedly. But then the rational part of her mind reminded her that Lauren _returned_ her feelings, there was no reason to sulk. “Plus, you were encouraging me. You pushed me in that direction and gave me good, solid advice. And then you started slipping away, I guess. Talking to you felt like I was walking on eggshells because sometimes I’d say shit and you’d get this sad, lost look on your face. I wanted to ask what was wrong, but I was afraid you’d push me away. I’d prefer things to be uncertain but stable than certain and broken. Then I… started getting jealous. Your time was spent with Mani over me. I was _fuming._ I thought you were going to abandon me. That drove me wild, and I started thinking: _why did I care?_ ” Lauren bit her lip and took a deep breath. “Tove Lo was the last straw. When you left for Dallas, I went to Ally’s and bawled my eyes out. I thought I’d lost you. I thought I lost my girl. And finding out you kissed Zendaya made me so _angry,_ and I just acknowledged… that moment in the band room, that I loved you, and I had for a long time,” Lauren admitted causing Dinah’s heart to do a billion backflips. “I loved that I was the girl that you got all flustered around over. That validated me, and I felt like I was a fucking princess. I was _your_ princess.”

Dinah smiled shyly. “You are my princess, my Princess Lolo,” she whispered.

Lauren’s cheeks turned a bright pink. “Goddamn, I- fuck, stop it, DJ.”

“Never,” Dinah said.

The two girls smiled widely. Faces instinctively leaning in, and Dinah assumed that they were going to kiss. But wait, no, they couldn’t. _No, no, no! This was bad._ Lauren’s nose awkwardly bumped against Dinah’s, and her eyes widened. Dinah gently pushed her back a bit. “We can’t. Camila,” Dinah said quietly. “It’s not fair for both of us to do that to her.”

Lauren exhaled. “I know, but… I really want to fucking kiss you. She doesn’t have to know, but…” She cursed quietly. “Fuck! Why am I even thinking like this? Why are _we_ thinking like this? I’m her girlfriend! She’s your friend! We’re both ready to cheat on her and betray her like it’s nothing!”

“Maybe we… don’t have to betray her,” Dinah said quietly. “We should just tell her.”

“Tell her? Tell her what!?”

“Tell her that we have feelings for each other. We have to be honest with her, okay? It ain’t fair to leave her in the dark.” Dinah sighed. “There is such thing as multiple consensual relationships.”

“That’s what you were looking up before, right? Polyamory?”

Dinah nodded in response to Lauren’s question.

“So I’d date both you and Camila…” Lauren trailed off. “Does that mean you date Camila too?

“No! Mila and I don’t _have_ to date,” she said quickly, sweating nervously. “But yeah, if she’s okay with it, we’d share you.”

Lauren smirked and chuckled. “Hm… I kind of like the idea of having two women all over me.”

Dinah rolled her eyes. “Shut up. Do you wanna tell her now or-”

“Yeah. The sooner, the better,” Lauren agreed, pulling her phone out to call her girlfriend. She clicked on Camila’s contact name, which Dinah noted had a lot of heart emojis and pressed call. “I’m gonna put it on speaker, so we can both talk to her.”

The blonde nodded and sighed nervously.

 _“Hey, Lo!”_ Camila greeted. _“Here to give me another Christmas wish? Or are you going to thank me for the Secret Santa gift… again.”_

Lauren’s ears turned bright pink as Dinah smirked at her. “Uh, yeah, Camz. Thanks again for the charm bracelet, but… I’m not calling about that. Dinah’s here with me.”

_“Dinah!? Oh, goodie! Thanks for the joke book, Cheechee! They’re really good like… what does a pirate say while eating sushi? ‘Ahoy! Pass me some soy!’”_

Dinah blinked. Lauren roared with laughter. How did that girl find anything Camila said super hilarious? That just wasn’t right. “Very funny, Mila… Not really.”

“Camz, I want to to talk to you about something. Or well, we want to talk to you about something,” Lauren said shakily as she leaned against Dinah. Dinah smiled comfortingly and pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

 _“Uh, what’s up?”_ Camila sounded a little nervous. Dinah didn’t blame her.

“Listen I…” Lauren trailed off. “I need to be honest with you. About me, about my feelings.”

_“Okay…”_

“It’s not bad. I swear-”

_“Lauren, you know I have bad anxiety about this. It’s not good. Not at all.”_

Dinah chewed on her lower lip quietly. She felt like she was watching a drama TV show, except she was _in_ the drama TV show this time.

“Baby, I know, but there’s no easy way to say this.”

_“Then just say it.”_

“Alright, alright,” Lauren muttered. She took a deep breath, and Dinah gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. She couldn’t even imagine what Lauren was going through.  “I’m in love with Dinah, and I have been for a while.” Simple and straight to the point, Dinah liked it. Camila’s breathing notably got heavier. “There’s no point in lying to you about it, Camz. What Dinah and I have is very real, and we can’t ignore it anymore.”

 _“Yeah. But why are you telling me this?”_ Camila let out a soft laugh. _“I mean if you’re gonna cheat, at least do it behind my back.”_

“Wait, I’m not cheating-”

Dinah facepalmed. “Dear God, this is going to be a mess, ain’t it? Lauren and I have really dug ourselves deep now.”

“Dinah! Shut up!” Lauren chastised.

“Sorry, Lauren…”

Lauren sighed. “Listen, Camila, I don’t wanna break up with you. Me loving Dinah doesn’t have to break us up. We can… make an arrangement,” she suggested.

_“An arrangement? Like what?”_

Dinah honestly couldn’t believe Camila wasn’t freaking the hell out and screaming and crying at this point. Or maybe she didn’t care… Bitch better care. Lauren deserved way better if that was the case.

“Like… I don’t know? I date both of you consensually. Like I take you both on dates, not together obviously and split my time between you,” Lauren sounded wary and a little doubtful. “I don’t really know how to explain it, but I know that I can’t lose you, Camz, and I can’t go another minute without calling Dinah mine.”

Camila exhaled softly. _“Was this your doing, Dinah? When Louis said we’d make a good trio… did you take it seriously? ‘Cause I know in the library you looked it up…”_ She gasped. _“Were you planning this the whole time?”_

“Nah,” Dinah answered truthfully. “It was kind of like my Plan B that came along weeks later. My original plan was to make Lauren jealous and make her want me. That did, in some ways, help.” Lauren nodded in agreement, sending her her signature smirk. “But after I got to know you… I didn’t want to hurt you, Walz. You make Lauren happy. Why should I ruin something as good as that?”

 _“You guys make a valid point,”_ Camila mumbled. _“And for some reason, I’m not mad. it’s like, I physically cannot be upset. I’m kind of… happy for you guys? Weirded out? Not really but whatever. As long as I still get Lauren.”_

“What about me? I’m cute. Don’t you want to date me?” Dinah asked in mock offense.

 _“You know what? I wouldn’t be surprised if I ended up falling for you too. And really, I wouldn’t complain.”_ Camila laughed. _“But you’re my friend, Dinah. I only really see you in a platonic light… even though you’re hot, really smart, athletic, and a whole lot of qualities that I love. Plus, I love tall people and thick thighs. I could sit on your lap any day and-”_

Lauren huffed. “Are you serious? Right in front of my salad?”

She cupped her hands over her mouth. “Booo, that meme is dead.”

All three girls burst out laughing.

Dinah rolled her eyes.“You’ve always had me, baby,” Lauren reassured her. “I’m not letting you go so easily. Think of this as just an extra way to spice up our relationship-”

“Oh, hell no!” Dinah shook her head. “I’m not doing any threesomes. You can kiss that idea goodbye. I’m still a virgin!” Lauren gave her an odd look. What? It was true. Dinah merely shrugged in response.

 _“Right, right. I should go. Sofi and I are going to the Christmas service soon, and I’m sure you guys wanna… hang out,”_ Camila said awkwardly. _“In all seriousness, thank you both for telling me this. It warms my heart to know that you guys would tell me the truth right away because now I know you trust me and think my feelings are valid. Call me a huge supporter of the Laurinah train.”_

“I love you,” Lauren said, clearly in a lovesick daze.

_“I love you too, baby.”_

Dinah raised a brow. Oh, so Lauren actually told Camila that she loved her? That was cute. Really cute.

_“See ya, babe. Bye, Dinah!”_

“Bye, Walz,” Dinah said softly.

“Bye!” Lauren pressed the end call button, put her phone down, and smiled. “So, how about we go up to our favorite place?”

Dinah slowly broke out into a grin.

* * *

Dinah wasn’t nervous after that call.

She’d say it to anyone and everyone who asked that she wasn’t. It was just Lauren. Lauren wasn’t supposed to be scary, except she had green eyes that ripped your soul apart and a smile that could light up even the darkest nights. Dinah always knew her heart always had a knack for falling for the best people.

Things were surprisingly normal between them. After Lauren and Dinah agreed to go to the hill, she was met with a comforting hug and a kiss on the cheek. She didn’t expect Lauren to say she loved her back, but she did. Her bright, happy smile when she said “I love you, too” made Dinah’s heart melt. She meant it, too. Lauren actually was in love with her too.

But a part of her still felt terrible. How could Dinah, the other woman, allow herself to possibly jeopardize Camila and Lauren’s relationship just because she was _selfish_ and _greedy._ How could Camila be okay with this?

Lauren wanted her. Dinah wanted Lauren. Camila gave them the green light to “date” or really see Dinah while still dating her.

Did that mean calling Lauren her girlfriend? Did that mean sex?

God, Dinah hoped so.

Even though she was a sixteen-year-old virgin, she wanted her first time to be with Lauren. It only made sense. First kiss, first love, first time… the pattern had to continue.

The hill had always been the place where Dinah loved Lauren the most. For some reason, loving Lauren was a lot stronger there. Dinah set up the old tent (with some trouble from Lauren being draped over her like a damn human blanket), and they gathered all the blankets, pillows, and Naki’s old camping mattress for their night out in the wilderness. It was cold, obviously, but Dinah made sure Lauren was safe and warm by donning Dinah’s comfiest sweatshirts and sweatpants. Dinah never thought she could love Lauren more until she saw her nearly tripping and falling on her ass because of Dinah’s oversized cheer sweats. She silently wished she could force Lauren to wear her clothes more often. ‘Clothes is big on me’ girl would really love Dinah’s wardrobe, in her opinion.

Lauren had also finally given Dinah her Secret Santa gift. A small mason jar with slips of paper for her to open whenever she felt sad and needed some cheering up. Apparently, there were over two hundred things Lauren loved about Dinah in there. Dinah wanted to read all of them right then, but instead, she gave Lauren one of the biggest hugs ever. This really was the best Christmas ever.

Lauren was nestled into Dinah’s side, staring at Dinah’s laptop screen as they watched _Total Drama World Tour,_ the best season of the Canadian TV series. Lauren liked watching them to support her favorite characters and criticize the show’s apparent racism and homophobia, while Dinah just really liked watching a hot animated white dude torment a group of teenagers. It sure was entertaining.

“You okay, babe?” Lauren asked quietly, gently stroking Dinah’s arm. The blonde shifted in her seat as she turned slightly to get a better look at her. Great, now Lauren’s face was in her boobs. Nice going, Dinah Jane.

“I’m more than okay,” Dinah replied with a soft smile. “...Kind of nervous though.”

Lauren lifted her head from Dinah’s chest respectfully. “Me too. This feels weird… I didn’t expect Camz to be so okay with things.” Dinah nodded. She couldn’t agree more with that statement. “But I’m happy I finally got my head out of my ass.”

Dinah laughed quietly. “Again, me too. You’re as stubborn as a mule, Lo, but I like that about you.”

“Really, DJ, I am really sorry for all the agony I put you through by acting like an oblivious asshole and not saying shit,” Lauren said sincerely. That was the apology she needed, and she figured Lauren would keep saying it forever.

Those “I’m sorry”s didn’t matter though. Dinah forgave Lauren before she even hurt her. The things people do for love, it really baffled Dinah.

“Stop,” Dinah mumbled in annoyance as she sunk further back into the pillows.

Lauren scooted back to follow Dinah. She stuck her tongue out at her. “Why? Isn’t this what you wanted? For me to make up for things?”

Dinah shrugged. “I can think of like ten ways you can make it up for me.”

“Oh, yeah? How so?”

A devilish smirk formed on her lips. “With that mouth of yours.”

“Mm,” Lauren hummed, licking her lips as she shifted further up the pillows to be level with Dinah. “Just my mouth?”

Dinah nodded, silently feeling a little awkward. How was she supposed to go about this? _Oh, Lauren!_ _I want to have sex with you so please, let me sit on your face so you can eat me out with that dirty mouth of yours_ sounded really stupid. Not to mention dirty. She was still a good Christian girl.

“Is my dirty talk that bad?” Lauren asked. Dinah quickly shook her head no, and both girls burst out laughing. The laughter quickly subsided. Lauren hummed in thought as she began playing with Dinah’s hair, running her hands through her blonde curls. “You just didn’t seem very into it,” she noted. “What’s on your mind, pretty girl?”

“Nothing. I’m just… happy,” Dinah said with a soft sigh and a big smile. “I can’t believe I finally have the girl of my dreams.”

Lauren grinned. “You’re so cute. Like seriously, what am I gonna do with you?”

“I don’t know… kiss me until I shut up?”

“I just might.”

It was so natural for them. Neither had kissed each other for years, but the moment that they knew kissing each other was okay and easy, everything fell into place. Dinah cupped Lauren’s cheek and pulled her in for a kiss that matched the ones she had fantasized about for months. Dinah practically crawled on top of her, knocking her laptop to the side as she straddled Lauren and situated herself in Lauren’s lap. Lauren let out a soft moan, resting her hands on Dinah’s thighs as she kissed her back. It was passionate but not too heated, neither girl wanted to go any further than that.

Lauren pulled away first and rested her head on Dinah’s chest. “I missed that, baby. I love you so much.”

Dinah stroked Lauren’s hair, looking down at _her_ girl lovingly. “I love you, too.” She sighed softly as she looked over at the displaced laptop. She wanted to make sure she didn’t miss anything. “By the way, does this mean I can call you my girlfriend?”

“Yeah,” Lauren said. Dinah almost died on the spot. “You are my girlfriend. One of two…” Lauren laughed softly. “Gosh, that’s so weird to say. I mean I really thought I was sinning when I convinced Camila to eat me out on a Sunday, but now I have more than one lesbian lover… Satan’s just collecting all the sins I commit and putting them in a jar.”

The only thing that Dinah could focus on was Camila going down on Lauren on a Sunday. And to be honest, it was kind of a hot thought. “You… let Mila do that? Did she want to?”

“Ohhh, yes.” Lauren grinned. “I was the one who was hesitant.”

“Sheesh,” Dinah muttered. “Normally I’d be jealous, but that’s hot as shit to think about.”

Lauren lifted her head from Dinah’s chest and kissed her. Dinah’s heart felt like it was going to burst out of its chest. She pulled away and smacked Dinah’s ass playfully. The blonde whimpered and bit down on her lip. “Oh…”

“Tell me a story, Dinah,” Lauren requested as she put her hands on Dinah’s chest and shoved her back. She was surprisingly really strong, or Dinah was always weak for Lauren. Dinah let out a “hmph” as she fell back onto the pillows. Lauren crawled over to Dinah’s side and assumed her previous position, this time with her head on Dinah’s chest. Dinah lifted her leg up and draped it over Lauren’s waist almost protectively. Or maybe she wanted to prove to Lauren that she was still the damn top in their relationship.

Dinah chuckled. “The story of Jesus? On Christmas? You cheesy shit. We could always go to the Christmas service. We should technically be there.”

“My daddy doesn’t give two shits.”

“And my mama won’t care about me until I tell her I’m straight.”

“Big yikes, right?”

“Big yikes.”

Lauren giggled. “I actually didn’t mean the story of Jesus. I meant a Greek myth. A love story… what about Sappho?”

“I don’t think Sappho has any stories or love stories for that matter,” Dinah told her truthfully. “She might, but I’d have to look into it.”

“If you were to go to college for anything, you’d study Ancient Greek, right?” Lauren inquired.

Dinah nodded. “For sure. That or Engineering or any sort of mathematics. But why be boring when I can sing _and_ I look like Shakira and Beyonce’s love child from an unreleased sex scene that was meant for the ‘Beautiful Liar’ music video?” Lauren cackled loudly, burying her face in Dinah’s chest. She did her best not to freak out at how not-so-innocent that action was. “It was a joke. I ain’t serious.”

Lauren lifted her head back up and smirked. “I know. I know. You’re still hilarious.” Lauren sighed and rested her chin just above Dinah’s right breast. “Tell me a good Greek love story.”

An idea popped into Dinah’s head, one that wasn’t stupid. “Alcyone and Ceyx,” Dinah said. “The story of love that triumphed tragedy.”

“I wanna hear this,” Lauren said immediately. “Because Alcyone sounds a lot like halcyon, and that’s one of my favorite words.”

“Didn’t you know?” Dinah asked in obvious surprise. She assumed Lauren would know everything, especially the roots and origins of words. She was, after all, a big nerd, “Halcyon derives from this tale. The halcyon days, to be exact, the two periods of seven days in winter when no storms occur.”

Lauren’s face lit up. “Oh! That’s so cool. Tell me about them. Tell me about the tale of these two.”

“Right. Okay.” Dinah took a deep breath. “Alcyone was the daughter of Aeolus, the god of the north winds. Ceyx was the son of Eosphorus the Morning Star. Ceyx was the king of Trachis in Thessaly. But I mean, all of this background information is kind of irrelevant, right?”

“No.” Lauren shook her head. “I like it. It shows that you really know this topic well.” The green-eyed girl exhaled dreamily. “And I love hearing you talk, even if it’s screaming nonsense at the top of your lungs like you always do.”

Dinah smiled nervously and bit her lip. “Baby… stop doing that.”

“Doing what?”

“Making me love you more.”

Lauren cooed softly, scooting forward and kissing Dinah chastely. After she pecked her lips, she brushed her nose against Dinah’s playfully. “I love you so much.”

“I do too, but maybe Alcyone and Ceyx loved each other more,” Dinah pointed out, trying to get Lauren back on track. Lauren let out “hmph” and crawled back down to her previous position, looking up at her eagerly like a kid during story time. “Honestly, there isn’t much buildup on this. Like, literally, the conflict was Daddy Zeus and Mommy Hera got pissed that the couple referred to each other as Zeus and Hera.”

“Those sacrilegious bastards,” Lauren scoffed.

“You mean us?”

“Shit, you right.” Lauren chuckled. “We are sacrilegious bastards.”

They laughed again, and Dinah loved that together they could share tons of laughs. Maybe that was why Dinah fell in love with Lauren in the first place. Dinah was like a walking talking joke and Lauren didn’t laugh at her; she laughed with her. And maybe Dinah was the only one smart enough to keep up with Lauren’s intelligent jokes. Her girlfriend was pretty special.

 _Girlfriend!! Woah, bitch, can’t believe I went from the friend zone to the girlfriend zone in less than twenty-four hours,_ Dinah thought.

“So, Ceyx one day decides to go out to sea to consult an oracle, and if you’ve ever read The Odyssey… don’t fucking piss off the gods before you go out to sea,” Dinah said with a playful eye roll. “Zeus hurls a thunderbolt at his ship, and well, Ceyx dies-”

“DINAH! WHAT KIND OF LOVE STORY IS THIS!?” Lauren screamed at the top of her lungs, pure horror on her features. Dinah burst into a fit of giggles at Lauren’s reaction. Normani would probably say something like “tea” or “this is so sad”, but Lauren? Lauren got attached to any and all characters, even if they had the emotional range of a slice of bread.

Dinah smiled. “It’s a tragic love story. Now, shut up so I can continue. Alcyone was back in Trachis when Morpheus, the god of dreams, appeared to her as Ceyx in a dream and told her of his fate. Alcyone didn’t cry like a little bitch because she didn’t believe him. Days later, Alcyone was walking on the beach when her husband’s body washed up on the shore.”

Lauren snorted and rolled her eyes. “Bullshit! That’s so implausible. There’s no way Alcyone’s husband just conveniently washed up by Alcyone. That’s so fake.”

The blonde raised a brow. “Hey, Lauren?”

“What!?”

“This is a Greek myth, meaning all of this is bullshit.”

Lauren rolled her eyes and huffed. “Whatever.”

Dinah smiled proudly. Finally! She proved Lauren wrong. “And so Alcyone, overcome with grief, throws herself into the sea and kills herself.” She noticed Lauren’s nose crinkling when Dinah mentioned her death and gave her a reassuring look. “The gods felt bad for what they had done after that, so they changed the two of them into common kingfishers or halcyon birds, and they were reunited. As for how the halcyon days came to be? Those fourteen days out of the year were the time that Alcyone needed to lay eggs. Aeolus restrained the winds so his daughter could lay eggs in peace. The halcyon days aren’t much of a peace interval… it’s more like a lucky break.”

She was silent at first, and Dinah wondered if she messed up. Like was it bad to tell your girlfriend sad, depressing Greek myths during their night together? She opened her mouth to apologize, but Lauren already opened her mouth. “That wasn’t as climactic as I thought.”

Dinah scowled furiously. “Uh, what!? Both of them died!”

“And became kingfishers. Lame,” Lauren said boredly.

“See, if this was Mani… she’d be kissing my ass and asking for another one.”

“But, no, I’m Lauren. I won’t be asking for another one, but…” Lauren scooted up so her face was near Dinah’s. “I’d love to kiss you elsewhere.”

“Where?” Dinah asked with a shaky breath.

Lauren smirked, bringing her hand up to brush a few of Dinah’s locks out of her face. “Your lips.”

Dinah raised a brow. “Which lips?” she asked boldly.

Lauren chuckled softly, running her hand down Dinah’s side until it rested on her thigh. Her bright eyes seemed to glow in the darkness. Her fingers trailed up Dinah’s thigh teasingly, and Dinah had to bite her lip. Was this bitch trying to top her? She cupped Dinah’s clothed center and gave it a squeeze, causing Dinah to let out a quiet squeak. " _These_ lips,” she husked before bringing their lips together.

Dinah kissed back eagerly, grabbing Lauren’s hips and flipping them over so they were on top. Lauren groaned in pleasure as Dinah’s teeth tugged on Lauren’s bottom lip. She looked up at Lauren through her eyelashes. “We have all the time in the world, baby.”

“I can’t wait to spend the rest of it with you,” Lauren whispered. “I’ll love you forever.”

And she meant it, Dinah knew for certain that she meant it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> seventeen chapters later i finally make the second ship happen. talk about a hella slow burn, right? thanks for being patient with me y'all. mental health hasn't been that great and writing's been helping with that, so once again, thanks for all your support!!


	18. eighteen: she needs someone who will love her unconditionally

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for more homophobic slurs and a further dive into camila's interalized homophobia.

2018, a new year for new beginnings. A chance to try and change what was going on the government when things weren’t looking great. Wood County, their county, was split by two congressional districts. Silver was located in the Fifth. Dinah heard the old fart in office was retiring, but the likelihood they would get anyone who would suit her purposes and wishes in office was not likely. Dinah knew that her voice and opinion would matter much more if she was in a place like Nashville.

Just a few more months and she’d be graduating. That was a scary thought. Going out into the outside world with just her voice, her friends and girlfriend, and a few big dreams sounded so scary.

Winter Break continued along greatly. She saw Lauren a lot. She hung out with Naki a lot too. Well, Naki almost got arrested for speeding down Sinner’s Road, but Dinah _really_ had to pee so it was excusable. She hung out with Normani too. They went to Tyler to go to the mall, and they could only stare and sigh dreamily at the windows with designer clothes knowing damn well they were too poor for that.

But the big event was the New Years Eve bash held by Ariana Grande at Lake Fork for all of Harrison’s elite. This was the first time Dinah was invited to it because she was a cheerleader. She expected to hate it, but it was honestly one of the best parties she had ever been to. It was also a big bass fishing competition that all the guys competed in. Austin Mahone had a new shiny fishing pole that he said would catch any fish on the first try. It was Shawn Mendes who took home the biggest bass and apparently, it was his third time winning.

Dinah spent most of that party watching over Normani who was one wild drunk. She danced on picnic tables, almost bitch-slapped Hailee Steinfeld for no reason, and tried to hit on a few junior varsity football players. Once Dinah threatened to call Ally after that, Normani went on a rant on how much she loved her girl. When Ariana asked who she was talking about, Normani replied with “My best friend Allyson.” At least she knew to act straight while drunk.

Camila didn’t show up to the party until a good few hours into it when everyone was wasted. Dinah remembered cringing when she hugged Shawn from behind and then waved to Ariana. But then Camila caught her gaze, and Dinah expected the worst. She expected a scowl, or a frown, or anything negative. Instead, she smiled at her, and Dinah’s insides felt like they were melting. Things were okay. Things would be okay.

She forgot to mention that when the fireworks went off at midnight and everyone was kissing each other (Normani was off hugging a tree), Camila came up behind her and grabbed her arm. “Happy New Year,” she had whispered while pressing a kiss to the back of Dinah’s hand. And before Dinah could react, she was gone. Like no one had seen them like all of her affections were secret.

Dinah stared up at the ceiling. It wasn’t her ceiling. It was Lauren’s because her bedroom ceiling had a giant stain that looked like a coffee stain. She had to sleep on the floor because Lauren’s bed couldn’t fit her, and they had to share the room with Taylor. To everyone else, this was a sleepover, but they weren’t home when Dinah was making Lauren scream her name while her tongue was buried deep inside her.

Yeah, they were having sex now. So what? And no, Dinah wouldn’t be spilling the details. Because that was private stuff, and her first time was more than satisfactory. Lauren made her feel plenty good and cared for. Even though Lauren was such a bottom, she did a very good job with making Dinah’s first time special. Anything with Lauren was special. Plus talking about having sex was weird… Only nasties with a whole lot of time would actually want to hear about it.

“Baby,” Lauren mumbled.

Dinah turned on her side and looked up at Lauren. She was surprised to find Lauren’s bright green eyes staring back up at her. “What’s up?”

Lauren’s lips curved into a smile. “Come up here… I miss you.”

“We gotta go to school,” Dinah replied, pulling her blanket off her. She saw Lauren’s eyes widen, and she quickly looked down to see what was wrong. “Oh, I guess I forgot to put clothes on. We really wore each other out, didn’t we? My favorite part was when you were straddling my lap and riding my fingers like a fucking pony-”

“Dinah!” Lauren hissed. “My sister is right over there!” She gestured to the sleeping Taylor Jauregui to her left.

“She just turned thirteen; therefore, she should be comfortable with talking about sex,” Dinah reasoned.

“If we ever get married, we’re not having kids. I’ll tell you that,” Lauren huffed as she pulled off her blankets. She, too, was naked. Damn hypocrite. Dinah rolled her eyes and pulled the Tubberware out from under Lauren’s bed. She wasn’t sure what she wanted to wear, and she was sure some of her clothes had made her way into Lauren’s clothes bin the past few weeks. She settled on her maroon sweatshirt and some black jeans. Can Winter be over already?

Lauren squatted down next to her and pulled her own clothes out. A navy leather jacket and light gray leggings. Dinah had to wonder where she got the money for some of this stuff unless it was hand-me-down.

Lauren kissed her cheek gently. “I’m gonna get us some Pop-Tarts and then we can hit the road.”

“My backpack’s still in your car, right?” Dinah inquired, squeezing Lauren’s thigh.

“Mhm. Along with the Led Zeppelin CD you got me.”

Dinah rolled her eyes as she pulled on her clothes. “You practically begged me to buy it for you because you didn’t get a proper Christmas gift from me. Weirdo.” She kissed Lauren and got back up to go use the bathroom.

She heard Lauren sigh from behind her. “I’m so lucky to be in love with my best friend.” That made Dinah’s heart flutter.

When she was done brushing her hair and her teeth, she went out to the living room. Dinah yawned quietly as she looked at her phone. Mondays were always the worst. At least, Math Club was starting up again. Not that Dinah was interested in joining… okay, maybe she was. It was her last semester, and she should really have some fun. Too bad Math Club only met every so often and it conflicted with her schedule a lot. But nerds shouldn’t care, right?

Lauren emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later fully dressed and with a big smile. “Ready to go?”

“Of course, babe,” Dinah replied. Lauren went into the kitchen and grabbed the Pop-Tarts box. “What kind do you have?”

“Brown Sugar Cinnamon. Chris ate all of the Cherry ones,” Lauren huffed. “I hate him.”

“I’m so glad Naki likes Hot Fudge Sundae and has the decency to _not_ eat my flavor,” Dinah told her. “It’s Mila and Regina that’s the problem. Mila sucks everything up like a vacuum and Regina likes freaking Wild Berry. Who likes Wild Berry?”

“Camz likes the S’mores one or the Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough. I fucking hate chocolate. How can she even eat chocolate Pop-Tarts?”

“Cause she’s Camila Cabello. That girl is out of my mind.”

Lauren wagged her finger at her. “Hey, girlfriend? Stop trash-talking my other girlfriend.”

Dinah rolled her eyes and grabbed her coat. “Shut up, girlfriend.” Before she could open the door, sweet, chivalrous Lauren beat her to it and opened the door for her. Dinah sent her a grateful smile and walked down the stairs leading up to the trailer. Lauren unlocked her truck by using her clicker and then opened the door for her. Dinah climbed into the passenger seat and waited for Lauren.

A minute later, they were on the road again and on their way to Sinner’s Road.

“DJ, put in side two of the Led Zeppelin album and then skip three songs,” Lauren ordered.

“‘Kay,” Dinah replied as she did exactly what she was told.

The opening guitar chords of “Going to California” played, and Dinah leaned back in her seat. The drive up to school was surprisingly peaceful. Lauren sang along quietly, keeping one hand on the steering wheel while the other was caressing Dinah’s back in a soothing massage. Dinah was too flustered to even say anything. No matter what Lauren did, Dinah would always be putty in her hands. She just needed her that much.

 _“Someone told me there’s a girl out there. With love in her eyes and flowers in her hair,”_ Lauren sang as she looked at Dinah lovingly, reaching up to squeeze Dinah’s shoulder.

Dinah snorted. “Eyes on the road, Jauregui.”

“You’ll sing my favorite part, right?” Lauren asked. “I can’t reach those notes, and only you and Harry sound good singing it.”

Dinah rolled her eyes. “Fine.” Man, she was whipped.

She waited patiently, listening for her cue to sing.

_“Seems that the wrath of the Gods_

_Got a punch on the nose and it started to flow;_

_I think I might be sinking.”_

Dinah made sure that the last note was raised but sounded a lot like a croon. Lauren hollered and clapped her on the back.

_“Throw me a line if I reach it in time,_

_I’ll meet you up there when the path_

_Runs straight and high.”_

Dinah made sure to hold that “high” note extra long because she was just that good. Lauren gasped quietly and turned the radio off. “Oh my God, I just wanna pull this truck over so you can just take me in the backseat. I’m so horny by your vocals.”

“Shut up,” Dinah said with a scowl. “Keep it in your pants. I ain’t gonna be late the first day of the semester.”

“I was kidding,” Lauren huffed.

Dinah knew she wasn’t. Because when it came to Lauren, all her words had a hint of truth to them.

They pulled into Harrison High a few minutes later. Lauren pulled into one of the parking spots and sighed as she shifted into park. “Ready?” she asked.

Dinah laughed in response. “As I’ll ever be,” she said with a playful eye roll. The two girls got out of the car and walked side-by-side as they approached the school.

Everyone and their stupid little cliques congregated in separate areas of the front of the school made Dinah’s eyes narrow. She looked over at Lauren and gave her a shy smile. Lauren noticed Dinah’s uneasiness and placed a hand on her back subtly. Oh, wow, she really was being touched in public. And honestly? It was a little scary. Sure, while they were just friends and kissing each other cheeks, it was fine. But hell, all girls and their _girlfriends_ (not the actual ones, the dumb Southern nicknames that every lesbian thought actually meant that these straight asses were lesbians) kissed their cheeks. Lauren and Dinah clearly weren’t friends anymore.

“Go talk to your cheer friends,” Lauren whispered, gesturing to the four girls standing near the hedge.

Dinah sighed slowly. “Do I have to?”

“Yes,” Lauren urged. “I’ll just be over by Ally if you need me.”

And with one gentle push in the direction of the girls, she was off. Dinah stuffed her hands in her coat’s pockets as she approached her friends.

“Why don’t we go to Lake Holbrook next time?” Hailee asked. “Then we don’t have to worry about being kicked out.”

“It wasn’t private property!” Ariana defended. “I don’t know what Mahone was thinking, but that boy cannot hold his liquor.”

“Wait, what did Mahone do? I was so drunk I was seeing stars,” Normani cut in.

Camila sighed heavily. “Oh, for the love of-”

Dinah cleared her throat. The four girls turned their attention from their conversation and to her. She cracked a smile. “Wassup?”

“About time you showed,” Ariana hissed. “Showing up with Lauren Jauregui too. That’s not good for appearances.”

“Knock it off, she’s her friend. Dinah’s not married to cheerleading,” Normani argued, giving Ariana a pointed glare.

“Yeah, but Lauren’s totally a lesbian. And none of us cheerleaders are lesbians, alright? New year, no more bullcrap.” Ariana glared at Dinah. “So you know what that means? Stop messing around with Lauren. If you two are so-called friends, then act like it. We Warriors ain’t here to play. We ain’t gonna disobey what the Lord told us.”

Dinah wanted to look over at Normani and Camila for help. They knew. They’d understand. They had to help her.

“Lauren isn’t a-” Camila started to say.

Ariana turned to look at Camila. “This goes to you too, Mila. I know you’re buddying up to Lesbregui too, but this has to end. I can’t find my right-hand woman getting seduced too.”

“She’s not my friend!” Camila yelled.

Her voice was loud enough to catch the attention of several social groups nearby. Even Lauren looked up from her conversation. Ariana stared at her like she had two heads.

Dinah wanted to facepalm. Hard. _Jesus Christ, Mila, you really fucked up now._

A flash of panic filled Camila’s features. “What I meant to say was. You won’t have to w-worry about Lauren and I, okay? I’m not gay.”

“Oh, Mila, you’re doing a terrible job convincing everyone that you and Lauren aren’t lesbian lovers if that’s the case,” Ariana snarked. Camila looked very taken aback. “I’m not passing the reins of head cheerleader to a goddamn dyke. No offense, Hailee, but you aren’t worthy. In fact, you’re kind of irrelevant.” Hailee squeaked and bowed her head. Ariana took a menacing step forward. “If you aren’t gay, cut things off with Lauren.”

“You can’t just tell me to cut things off with someone because you don’t like them and how they act. That’s not fair!” Camila protested. “You’re a controlling-”

“Do I have to repeat myself, Camila? Because you’re digging your own grave now.” Ariana glared up at her. “Convince me then. Convince me that you aren’t a big, filthy dyke, and I won’t tell your mama that you’re a dirty sinner.”

Camila bit her lip and looked down at the ground. People were starting to look and whisper. This wasn’t good. Dinah wanted to defend her. Her jaw clenched, and she opened her mouth to say something, but Normani quickly shook her head. _“Don’t,”_ she mouthed. Normani turned to Ariana warily.  “Don’t you think this is a little cruel, Ariana? For God’s sake, we’re in public-”

“I don’t know what the hell is wrong with you. Or any of you, but if you think I’d _ever_ consider indulging myself in such shameful things. You’re wrong,” Camila said shakily. “Lauren and I have nothing going on. We won’t ever have anything going on because I’m _not_ gay. I’m straight. She’s just someone who I enjoy having around, and I don’t care for her like that.” She took a deep breath. “Maybe I’m not as boy crazy as the rest of you are, or I prefer hanging out alone in my house with my sister and watching Spanish telenovelas instead of preparing to be a housewife. My connection to God is strong, and He would never lead me down the wrong path. So to assume that His loyal follower is a homosexual? You’re so deluded. I don’t know how many times I have to say this. I’m straight. I like dick. I’m not a stupid dyke. One day I’ll find a Prince Charming that will sweep me off my feet. But for now, I’m stuck in this stupid town with all these stupid people and stupid dykes and dyke-haters and well, stupidity! So, you know what? Screw all of you ” Camila spun on her heels and took off, leaving the three girls and everyone else who was watching.

Dinah’s first reaction was to look for Lauren, but she was gone. Apparently, so was Ally. Ariana looked shell-shocked, surprised that she had been put in her place. She turned to Hailee. “C’mon, Haiz. Let’s go.”

Normani turned to Dinah. “I’m going after Lauren. I think you should take Camila,” she whispered.

“Why me?”

“Just trust me,” Normani said softly. “She needs someone who will love her unconditionally.” She squeezed Dinah’s bicep pointedly. “Just trust me.” And then she was off running in the opposite direction, probably where Lauren was for all that Dinah knew.

Dinah scoffed. “And that’s me? The homewrecker?” She laughed loudly and rolled her eyes. “You’re really ass-deep in trouble now, Hansen.”

* * *

It didn’t take long to find Camila because the girl was screaming at the top of her lungs, and Dinah could’ve sworn she heard glass crack. She opened the door to the second-floor girl’s bathroom and shut it behind her. She turned the knob to lock the door and prevent anyone else from coming in. Dinah learned that a while ago that Harrison High’s doors were built weirdly and locking the door to prevent others from coming in was a possibility.

She crept into the bathroom and peered around the doorway.

It was a mess. The sink was running. The paper towel dispenser was broken. The mirror was cracked. Dinah could’ve sworn she saw blood on the sink. Camila was kneeling on the floor and sobbing into her hands. One of them looked bloodied and bruised. She couldn’t even comprehend what Camila was saying because she was blubbering out names and words.

Dinah tentatively knelt down next to her. “Walz…”

“D-Dinah,” Camila gasped, and unexpectedly, she threw her arms around her. Dinah’s breath hitched but she held the girl in her arms. “You’re the only one I wanted to come after me. Not Lauren because I hurt her. Not Normani because she doesn’t understand. Not Ally because I don’t need her cheery pep talks.” Camila sobbed loudly, burying her head in the crook of Dinah’s neck. “I need you.”

She wouldn’t lie and say that she wasn’t honored to be Camila’s first choice, but she was supposed to support her, not act like a selfish dick. “I’m here, Camila. I’ll always be here.”

Camila cried for a bit, and Dinah began to rock her slowly like she was soothing a baby. Camila was practically in her lap anyway. She would wait for her to talk. She had all day, after all.

“I hate myself,” she said finally. “I’m so ashamed.”

“I know, honey,” Dinah replied. “I’m sure Lauren forgives you-”

“No, Dinah. That’s not my main problem,” Camila cut her off.

Dinah furrowed her brows in confusion. “Then what is?”

“Do you know how hard it is to walk around as this sweet girl-next-door and pretend to be someone I’m not? Especially when I-I’m… I’m trying to change myself. I’m not supposed to be this way, but every day I fall more and more in love with Lauren. It isn’t fair to her when I say I’m out of the closet, but deep down in my heart, I don’t wanna be gay. Not here, at least. Not when it’s wrong.”

Dinah wasn’t sure what to say. That was some heavy news, some heavy information that Dinah wasn’t sure she was ready to process.

“And do you know when I think about girls or… Lauren in particular in my dreams or fantasies I have a dick? I’m fucking them with a dick because my subconscious tells me that’s the _right_ way to have sex, or I’ve been taught that way. I don’t think about that stuff. I think about everything a heteronormative and conservative society pushes on me.” Camila sniffled. “Do you know how messed up that is? Every day I walk around hating myself because I’m such a monster. I’m gay, but I’m an abomination. I need to be caged up, put away, electrocuted. Just get rid of this. I need to get rid of this! How do I get rid of this?”

Dinah pulled her into a closer embrace and let Camila cry into her. She never had to experience this, and maybe if she wanted to get her relationship with her mother back, she’d feel like this. But her connection with God wasn’t as strong as most people in town. She didn’t know when she lost her faith, but it was around the time her mother’s verbal abuse got worse. God loved all of them, so why would He let Dinah hurt like this?

And then it hit her: even the faithful were no victim to the cruelty of the world.

“How do you do it? How do you live with yourself?” Camila asked.

Dinah stiffened a bit. “I guess… it was easier for me because I knew that I was destined to live a life of cruelty. Why not add the cherry on top? My faith was deterred long ago, and I knew when I was gay… there was no point in hating myself when everyone else would end up hating me.”

“Oh, Dinah,” Camila sobbed as she squeezed her tightly. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“Life’s always been fucked up for me,” Dinah laughed bitterly. “I don’t need pity, but let’s focus on you.” Camila grunted in agreement. Dinah began to rub her back soothingly. “If you felt this way… why didn’t you tell anyone?”

“I’m good at internalizing things. Way too good at it. So all my doubts these past three months? Locked inside me. Lauren doesn’t deserve to be hurt because I spend days hating myself and my sin. It’s not right.”

“I ain’t gonna say your homosexuality ain’t a sin because there’s no point in pushing it,” Dinah said. “We were all born believing gay is bad and whoopsie-daisy! We end up liking chicks. And then it’s all ‘oh nooo, I’m everything the Bible says I shouldn’t be! Boohoo!’ The way you’re reacting? Perfectly normal. Not ideal, but it’s normal.”

Camila’s eyes bugged out in surprise. She pulled away to look at Dinah full-on. “You’re not mad at me?”

Dinah scoffed. “Mila, why would I be mad?”

“Because my _stupid_ internalized homophobia is hurting Lauren.” Camila’s breath hitched, and she looked in the direction of the door. “Is Lo okay? God, I should be apologizing to her. And instead, I’m out here punching mirrors and trashing bathrooms!” She tried to get up, but Dinah was faster and stronger. She pulled the girl back down into her lap like it was no problem. Camila sighed in defeat.

She gave Camila a reassuring squeeze. “Mani and Ally have that covered. You don’t need to worry about a thing. Maybe we should get your hand fixed up…?”

Camila bit her lip. “Do you think Lauren will be mad at me? I don’t think I can stand her calling me a coward again.”

“Lauren won’t be mad. I promise.” Dinah shook her head.

Silence. But then, Camila’s worried expression turned to one of anger. Her jaw clenched as she glared up at Dinah.

“Or maybe you’re just saying that because she’s your girlfriend, and since we’re sharing her, you want me out of the picture.”

Dinah stiffened and pushed Camila out of her arms. “Woah, wait, _excuse_ me!?” Dinah hissed. “What are you trying to say?”

“You know exactly what I’m saying,” Camila hissed. “You see… I _really_ don’t like sharing. And once I had Lauren to myself, I never thought I’d have to worry about you, Dinah, the comedic joke of a best friend.”

_Ouch._

“And I don’t know how you did it, with your stupid dyke charm…” Camila laughed bitterly. “I shouldn’t even be saying that, should I? The pot calling the kettle black, if you will, but I’m a dyke. You’re a dyke. Lauren’s a dyke! Everyone’s a fucking sinful dyke!” Dinah wasn’t sure who the hell was talking, but it wasn’t Camila Cabello. She honestly had no idea what to do. She sounded out of her mind, completely bonkers. The short brunette’s lip curled upwards. “But what’s so appealing to her that I’m not? Is it cause you’re more accepting? Is it because your parents will love you no matter what? I can’t even come out to my parents, and I bet you could with absolutely no problem.”

Dinah’s jaw clenched. “You don’t know shit about me and my family, Camila.”

“I know that with big herds of sheep, they always stick together.”

“Funny how you use that analogy,” Dinah noted, “when there is such thing as the black sheep.”

Camila gave her a confused look. “You? The black sheep? Please, you’re perfect. You skipped a grade. You have the girl of your dreams. What more could you want? What more could you take from me?”

And that was when Dinah snapped. She couldn’t take it anymore. She knew she had to stay level-headed because Camila was upset, and she’d only make it worse. But this selfish son-of-a-bitch was not going to get away with acting like Dinah was someone she was not. “First of all, Camila, I came out to my ma a few weeks ago, and do you know how she reacted? She won’t speak to me. She’s so convinced I’m in a phase that she thinks I’m doing it for attention. God, no, I don’t care about attention. I just want to be able to be myself without hiding, and she can’t even let me do that without judging.”

She noticed Camila’s eyes widen and her mouth open to say something, but Dinah wasn’t done. “No. You fucking listen to me, Camila. I’m sick of hearing you whine like you’re some fucking victim. Yeah, you have it bad, and I’m _sorry._ I’m sorry that it’s ingrained into your mind that who you are ain’t okay, but I need you to listen, Camila. Lauren and I? We love you. We care about you. We want nothing more than your happiness, but that does _not_ mean you can tear us both down when you lash out like that because of your own damn issues.”

“I’m always good at internalizing that stuff, DJ! Always! Sometimes it just… bursts out,” she protested.

“Yeah?” Dinah chuckled dryly. “Still don’t give you a right to treat us like we’re dirt.”

Camila winced slightly. She looked guilty. Good, she deserved it. “I… crap. You’re right. I’m sorry about that. Seriously. You and Lauren deserve better,” Camila mumbled. “I’m so fucking stupid.

“Hey, don’t say that. You ain’t stupid.” She squeezed Camila’s shoulder assuringly and pulled her back into a hug. Camila exhaled slowly. “And I know, but don’t just apologize to me. Lauren deserves an apology too.

“There’s… there’s something else on my mind,” Camila muttered.

“Okay… what is it?”

“About this whole Polynesian relationship.”

Dinah cackled loudly despite the fact that this was supposed to be a serious and emotional moment. _“Polynesian relationship,”_ she mimicked. “Nice to know you’re thinking of a relationship with me.”

“No!” Camila shook her head. “I mean, that’s not what I meant! Dinah!”

“Sorry,” Dinah apologized between laughs. “Humor’s just my way of coping.”

Camila cracked a smile. “I wish I coped like that most of the time, but seriously… there’s something I wanna tell you, and it has completely to do with the fact that we’re both dating Lauren. It’s just… sharing someone consensually is weird. It feels like it would make more sense if all three of us should date. But God, that’s gonna confuse me so much. I’m a lesbian, but I also have two girlfriends? How does that even work? I can just picture my daddy throwing a fit,” she said while shaking her head. “But I guess I’m just wondering... what are we?”

Dinah didn’t know how to respond because once again, her repressed feelings for Camila were returning. How could anyone not like her though? Even after all the hurtful things Camila said earlier, she found herself forgiving her without any issues. Did that make her whipped? Probably. But did she care? Hell no. And looking down at the beautiful brunette in her arms, she saw no problem with considering a _relationship_ with her.

But then she remembered Lauren’s hurt expression at the front entrance. Did she want to go through that too? Camila would be pushing both of them under the bus if that happened again. Dinah wasn’t sure she was ready to get hurt like that. Not again. She had Lauren. She didn’t need anyone else.

 _But it will make her happy, won’t it?_ her subconscious reminded her. _Her two favorite girls falling in love._

Dinah cupped her cheek and leaned in slightly. She noticed Camila did the same, and her heartbeat increased rapidly. Camila licked her lips, gaze moving to Dinah’s plump ones. Both of them were probably thinking the same thing. There was some undeniable chemistry that they didn’t even really see until now. Wow, were they cheating on Lauren and about to-? Maybe? Shit, this was bad. “I-I don’t think we…” She paused, taking a deep breath.

“We what?” Camila probed.

“Friends,” Dinah blurted out stupidly. She saw Camila’s face falter slightly.

“We’re friends?”

“Yes?” Dinah, again, said stupidly.

Camila’s brows furrowed, making no move to leave their compromising position. “We’re just friends? Nothing’s going on between us? Are you sure?” Her voice was low, suggestive and seductive. Dinah felt like she was swimming in her chocolate brown eyes as she stared at her.

“I don’t… I don’t…” Dinah sputtered out.

This was bad. This was really bad.

The girl in front of her had a look similar to a lost puppy. She probably thought Dinah was rejecting her. That was far from the case. Very far from the case. Dinah wanted to desperately voice her thoughts. Yes, she liked her! _C’mon, why can’t I say it?_

“Listen I think… I think it would be best to wait until you and Lauren fix things,” Dinah decided. “I wanna tell you things I’m feeling that are really scary and confusing, but I want Lauren to be there too. She deserves to know too. She’s our girlfriend, right?”

Camila hesitated for a bit and then nodded. “Yeah, I really should. You’re right about that. And the one thing I’ve learned from dating Lauren, communication is key.”

“A good lesson,” Dinah agreed.

They both laughed, and Camila climbed off of her. “And can I get something for my hand? This hurts like heck.” She clutched her wrist and pouted.

Dinah nodded and draped her arm over her shoulder. “Of course, Walz. To the nurse, we go!”

* * *

“Who we really need in office is a moderate Republican. That’s as close as we can get to a good representative,” Normani reiterated for probably the tenth time.

Ally looked up from her composition notebook and pursed her lips. “Mani, I love you, but talking about politics ain’t really your thing. Stick to Lauren for that stuff.”

Normani huffed. “I’m serious!” She tugged at the ends of her skirt and muttered something under her breath. Ally smiled up at her and then went back to drawing her graph for science class.

“You good, Dinah?” Normani asked, lightly tapping the blonde’s shoulder.

Dinah looked up and nodded. She was awkwardly sitting on the ground between two rows of bleachers. The top one was digging into her back and her legs took up almost two rows on her own. “She really is a Polynesian giraffe,” Ally had said when Dinah first sat down. That earned the innocent church girl an eye roll and attempt to give her the finger. Normani quickly swatted Dinah’s hand away and glared at her.

Dinah wasn’t exactly paying attention to their conversation. She was paying attention to Camila and Lauren who sat facing each other and cross-legged on the middle of the floor. They were deep in conversation and had been for the past thirty minutes ever since cheer practice ended. Ariana ended up apologizing profusely to Camila and making a big scene about it, but she wouldn’t even give Normani or Dinah a second glance. She even acted extra concerned over Camila’s bandaged hand. Whatever. Priorities in a small town, man.

“What do y’all think they’re talking about?” Normani asked, clearly reading Dinah’s mind.

“This morning. Obviously,” Dinah said distastefully.

Ally shrugged. “Probably. Maybe they’re talking about their next date. It ain’t exactly our business.”

“Everything’s our business, Ally,” Dinah chuckled. “You clearly ain’t a true girl from Silver.”

“Maybe I’m tired of the secrets and exposing,” Ally said. “It’s our last few months here, and Daddy insists on me staying in town. I’m sick of it! He doesn’t know that I applied.”

“You really did!?” Normani looked delighted. Ally nodded fervently. “I thought you were gonna wait and see. You sounded really doubtful about college…”

Ally smiled and shook her head. “And now I know that, but I decided that I’d rather be out of a small town like this. Hanging out with people like you, Dinah, and Lauren has really changed my mindset.” She sighed happily. “Things couldn’t be better.”

“Okay, Miss Valedictorian, where are you looking at?” Dinah asked.

“UCI, UT Austin, UNCG…” Ally listed at the top of her head. Dinah wanted to barf. Two of those schools were ones Normani applied to, and she was sure the third one wasn’t far from UNCSA. “I, uh, also applied to Belmont University in Nashville.”

“Seriously?” Normani raised a brow. “I thought we were gonna try and stay close together.”

Ally shrugged. “Yeah, but the thought of Dinah, Lauren, Niall, and Harry going out to Nashville alone scares me. Louis, too! Besides, North Carolina isn’t far from Nashville, is it?”

Dinah shook her head and scoffed. “What do you mean? It’s _very_ far from Tennessee! It’s all the way up there by Minnesota,” she deadpanned.

Ally and Normani both gave Dinah disbelieving looks. Dinah furrowed her brows and tilted her head to the side. She had _no_ idea why they were looking at her like that.

“Dinah… you do know that I said North _Carolina,_ not North _Dakota._ ”

“Is there a difference?” Dinah blinked, continuing to play dumb.

However, Normani was quick to catch on. “She’s messing with you, Allz. Dinah probably still remembers her capitals too.”

“Yep.” Dinah cleared her throat and hopped on her feet with a loud clang. Lauren and Camila both looked up from their conversation, and she reveled in her girlfriend’s and Camila’s startled looks. Dinah grinned and began to belt out the song. “Baton Rouge, Louisiana, Indianapolis, Indiana, and Columbus is the capital of Ohio! There’s Montgomery, Alabama, south of Helena, Montana. Then there’s Denver, Colorado under Boise, Idaho. Texas has Austin, then we go north to Massachusetts’ Boston, and Albany, New York! Tallahassee, Florida and Washington, D.C, Santa Fe, New Mexico, and Nashville, Tennessee-”

“Will you cut that bullshit out!?” Lauren yelled from the floor. Though her words had angry connotations, she had a big grin on her face.

“Sorry!” Dinah yelled back as she sat back down. “Continue, please!”

“The nerve, Dinah Jane…” Ally huffed. “Do you ever think before you do things?”

Dinah laughed loudly. People needed to stop asking her those questions because clearly, she didn’t.

Normani let out a sigh of relief. “Good. Now I can tell you that I applied to Tennessee State.”

“What!?” Dinah and Ally both sputtered out, looking at each other in surprise.

Their friend laughed and shrugged nonchalantly. “Surprise! You can’t exactly get rid of me, Ally.”

“No! I know! I just… does TSU even have a dance program?”

“It doesn’t, but I’m applying for Criminal Justice.”

“Shocker of the century,” Dinah muttered under her breath.

Ally’s smile was impossibly brighter as she squeezed Normani’s shoulder. “Mani, that’s so cool! Maybe all four of us will end up in Nashville. How awesome would that be?” She sighed dreamily. “I can see us going out late to restaurants together and then going back to one of our apartments to watch movies. Amazing… I can’t believe we’re growing old.”

“I do, and it sucks,” Normani grumbled.

“You’ll look young and beautiful forever, Mani. We’ll be seventy years old at a high school reunion, and you’ll be the prettiest girl in the room,” Dinah mused.

Ally scowled. “Stop hitting on my woman.”

“Your woman?” Dinah put her hand on her chest in mock-surprise. “I thought you were straight? Oh, heavens!”

“Shut up, pita,” Normani said. Dinah’s eyebrow shot up. She had been called a lot of names in her life. Some very clever, some very stupid, but none of them were as weird as pita. Normani must have noticed Dinah’s confusion because she quickly cleared things up. “Pita? As in Pain-In-The-Ass?”

Dinah’s eyes lit up in realization. “Ohhh,” she drawled. “Clever.” She checked the time on her phone. _5:45._ Still pretty early, but wait…

“Mani, Ally, shouldn’t you be at the diner!?” Dinah asked.

Normani shrugged and looked at Ally. Ally looked at her phone. She let out a loud squeak and grabbed Normani’s hand, pulling her up. Dang, that girl was actually secretly strong. “Mani! We gotta go! We’re gonna be late for work!”

“Y’all are stupid…” Dinah muttered as the two girls barreled down the bleachers hand-in-hand.

Their loud footsteps distracted Camila and Lauren from their conversation. Normani grabbed Lauren’s arm and pulled her up. “We’re late, Jauregui. We gotta go!”

Lauren groaned loudly. “Fuck. I totally forgot.” She looked down at Camila. “We’re good. Okay, Camz? No worries.”

Camila nodded awkwardly. “Yeah... I love you.”

“I love you too,” Lauren replied quietly as if she was afraid someone would hear them. She cupped her hands over her mouth and shouted, “you too, Dinah!” So maybe she wasn’t trying to be quiet because Lauren totally just made herself obvious.

“Thanks, bish! For the love…. wait how am I gonna get home?” Dinah thought out loud, lips parting in concern. Oh, this wasn’t good. This wasn’t good at all. She totally forgot that Lauren was her ride to school.

Camila raised her hand awkwardly. Another awkward action. “I can, uh, take her home. I drove to school today.”

“You have a car!?” Dinah gasped.

“Yeah, how do you think I met Camila? Fixed her bicycle?” Lauren winked teasingly before Normani practically dragged her out of the gym. They were so going to be late. The drive was a good ten minutes from school including walking to the parking lot. Plus, they had to change. Those poor girls.

Camila exhaled when the door to the gym closed. “That went… so much better than I expected. She is so understanding.” She looked at Dinah dreamily. “I’m so in love with her.”

Dinah smiled at her. “Me too,” she breathed out.

“C’mon. Let’s go,” Camila urged, guiding Dinah to the exit.

She had a nice car. Why wouldn’t she? She lived in the Silver Mine. So when she saw that red 80s Mercedes-Benz, Dinah’s jaw dropped. The paint job was so shiny. The car was a beauty, and Dinah was totally in love with it. The blonde took two tentative steps towards it, almost afraid to touch the handle. She didn’t want to wreck such a beauty.

Dinah bit her lip, finally building up her courage, and opened the door to the car. The seats were _leather._ But all Dinah could think was: _This could have been Betsy._ Dinah swallowed the lump in her throat and tensely sat down. Camila got in the driver’s seat and started the car. She put the car in reverse and turned her head. “You don’t have to sit so tensely. It’s just a car.”

“Girl, this is worth more than my house,” Dinah thought out loud. Camila laughed quietly, and Dinah noticed her blunder. “Okay, maybe not.”

“She’s a beauty,” Camila hummed. “Just keeps getting sweeter with age.”

“That’s a Maren Morris song. Wait, you didn’t-”

“Why do you think I got an 80s Mercedes?”

Dinah burst out laughing, quickly bringing her hand up to cover her mouth. Camila laughed too, glancing over at her as they pulled out of Harrison High’s parking lot. Eventually, Dinah’s laughter died down, and she relaxed further into her seat.

Camila drummed her fingers on the steering wheel. “You know, it’s cute when you laugh. I wish you didn’t cover your mouth when you did.”

She shrugged. “I may be cute, but there are some parts of me I wish I could change.”

“Not your laugh and smile,” Camila replied. “You could laugh and smile a thousand times, and my heart would still swell a thousand times. Even more so if I’m the cause of it. I think everyone’s the prettiest when they laugh.”

Her breath hitched at Camila’s words, and her heart pounded. “Your words are honey… so sickeningly sweet that I want to indulge myself in puddles of them, but I’m afraid it’ll make me ache and my heart rate will go too far up. My teeth will be rotten, and maybe I can’t smile anymore because the honey was too good, too holy for my body to handle.”

“Sugar is something we’re afraid to have because they say it’s bad for us, but they also forget that we need sugar in our bodies to survive. You crave it constantly because it’s _good,_ and you don’t care what people say. You want more and more, but they tell you no because they need you to be whoever they want you to be and do whatever they say,” Camila replied.

“So are you saying that it’s good to give in to your temptations even if it’s wrong?”

Camila’s lips formed into a tiny smile. “I’m saying that sacrifices for your happiness may be detrimental, but you don’t care.”

“I have a feeling that this poetic or intellectual conversation is a lot deeper than it’s supposed to be,” Dinah chuckled nervously.

“Similar to my feelings for you,” Camila said under her breath.

Dinah’s stomach lurched. She had a strong suspicion that she was not supposed to hear that, but the confession was not unwanted. Camila _liked_ her. Maybe? She had deep feelings for her. Dinah wasn’t sure how to interpret that.

But in a true Dinah fashion, she pretended that Camila didn’t say anything because why confront any problems? There was no need for any more.

“Can we listen to music?” Dinah asked a little timidly.

“Yeah, the CDs are over there in the glove compartment. Can’t believe this car doesn’t have an aux cord,” the brunette huffed.

Dinah smiled widely. “I find it hilarious that Lauren’s truck has an aux cord, but she still uses CDs because she wants to be _edgy_ and _cool._ What a loser.”

“What a loser,” Camila mimicked with a small laugh.

Dinah opened the glove compartment and began to rummage through Camila’s music collection. Taylor Swift, Ed Sheeran, The 1975, Arctic Monkeys, weird Spanish artists... Yawn. This wasn’t really Dinah’s kind of music, but she wouldn’t judge. That was just cruel. “Sorry, this ain’t my music.”

“I think I have Miranda Lambert somewhere in there,” Camila said, looking over at the glove compartment. The car accidentally swerved when Camila moved her head. “Crap! Sorry, Dinah!”

“It’s fine. It’s totally fine,” Dinah reassured her. “I once slammed on the brakes going eighty miles an hour. I ain’t the best driver in Silver.”

“Yikes, why!?” Camila asked with a breathless laugh.

“I was late for cheer practice. It was not good. Thank God you had called me.”

“That was last month, wasn’t it? Dinah!”

Dinah stuck her tongue out at her and pulled out _Four the Record._ She smiled contently as she opened the case, satisfied to see the CD was still in there. “I see you might have some good taste. I hope it ain’t scratched.”

Camila chuckled. “It’s not, swearsies.”

She slid the CD into the player and pressed play, skipping a few tracks because there was no such thing as shuffle, so she’d have to skip around on her own. She stopped at track seven because track seven was a great number. Actually, it was because she really liked the song.

“Oh, hey,” Camila laughed. “I used to listen to this one cause it reminded me of Austin. It’s a great song about some trashy boy.”

Dinah couldn’t contain her snort. “Uh… you do realize that this song was written by a lesbian, right?”

“You’re joking,” the brunette deadpanned, gripping the steering wheel a little tighter.

She laughed loudly. Camila was actually funny. Sure, her jokes made her want to puke up her guts out at how awful they were. It was totally her attitude and her reaction to things. She made light of situations no matter how awkward they were. She would sometimes bring the attention to herself, make an ass of herself, just to lighten the mood. And that was what made Camila hilarious, along with her sarcastic quips and witty remarks. Dinah knew she was funny because she was boisterous and reckless. Camila was adorably awkward.

“Why would I joke about lesbians?” Dinah scoffed. “I wouldn’t be able to. Lesbians can’t take jokes. We get offended by everything.”

Camila’s shoulders tensed and then relaxed as she slowed down at the turn off for Dinah’s farm. The sun was just about fully set (curse winter and its short days) so Camila’s headlights were on the big wooden sign for the farm.

_HANSEN DAIRY FARM_

_PURE BY NATURE. PURE BY GOD._

_WARNING: WE SHOOT TRESPASSERS!_

She didn’t say it wasn’t tacky or terrifying.

Camila turned the car onto the dirt road and let out a small gasp when they hit a bump. “Oof. My baby girl isn’t designed for this.”

“Did you name your car?” Camila was really full of surprises. Dinah was beyond amused. She liked knowing these little things about her. It made her seem a lot more human and real, not just some fake cheerleader that wanted to experiment like Dinah thought before.

The brunette nodded. “Not exactly, but was Lo’s idea. She calls her truck her baby, so I decided to call my truck my baby girl. What do you call your truck?”

“My Ford Fusion…” Dinah trailed off, feeling really dumb.

Camila giggled softly, slowing the car to a stop in front of Dinah’s farmhouse. Dinah nervously glanced at the house. The lights were still on. People were still home. Her mama was probably home. Oh, how she hated to go home and live with her mama’s cold and condescending looks. She sighed and turned in her seat to face Camila. Camila gave her a soft smile. “You’re really cute,” she said like it was a confession.

Dinah bit her lip shyly. The butterflies were back in her stomach again, and it was driving her crazy _again._ She shouldn’t be feeling this way. Camila shouldn’t be sending her senses into overdrive. That was Lauren’s job. For both of them. “Yeah, I’m cute, but that’s more you.”

The brunette grabbed one of Dinah’s hands that were on her lap and intertwined their fingers. She used her thumb to trace the inside of Dinah’s palm. This really wasn’t helping the butterflies. By now they were bats probably. Swatting and swooping. Swooping was bad. “Actually, you’re beautiful. I always thought you were pretty, but now…”

“Don’t flatter me.” Dinah laughed nervously. “You’ve charmed me, Cabello. What are you asking from me? Money? Food? I don’t have one of them.”

Camila leaned her face in ever-so-slightly. “Lately, I have no idea what I want. I’ve been in a hurricane of emotions. And if today’s meltdown isn’t proof of it, I don’t know what is. My heart’s been running wild.”

Dinah was afraid to probe, but she did anyway. “Why?”

“You.”

“Me?”

“Yeah.” Camila gave Dinah’s hand a soft squeeze. “You come in the picture, and suddenly everything’s changed for me. I fall in love with the girl I’ve had a crush on for years. Then there’s her hot best friend who happens to also be in love with that girl that crosses my mind more than once. In ways they probably shouldn’t.” She furrowed her brows. ”And I’m expected to hate her because she’s supposed to be my rival. But I don’t. I could never. And maybe- maybe I am a  little jealous.”

“Jealous?” Dinah swallowed thickly. If Camila was jealous, this wasn’t going to be a good thing.

Camila nodded. “I didn’t show it on the call, but after you hung up I went to the Christmas service and couldn’t even concentrate. Throughout the entire break, I played _Call of Duty_ horribly and yelled at ten-year-olds to get my anger out. Just as you would. And then I took a long drive around Lake Fork blasting angry Carrie Underwood songs. I was so bewildered, but I wasn’t mad at you. God, not at you.”

“Then why…”

“I was jealous of Lauren! Okay!?”

Dinah’s eyes widened in shock. That answer came way out of left field. In fact, Dinah wasn’t even expecting it at all. She couldn’t believe it. “Huh?”

“Because she has you, and I don’t. I have her. You have her. But I don’t have you.”

And then Dinah did something that she never thought she would ever do. Something so unimaginable, something so out of character. Dinah looked at Camila in a certain way that mimicked how she felt, how she craved, how she needed. God curse the being who made feelings so messy. God let Lauren forgive her for what she was about to do.

“Then take me.”

Camila did. She cupped Dinah’s cheeks and pulled her in for a long kiss, rough, passionate, and desperate. Like she was longing for her, and Dinah kissed her back. Right in front of her own house where her mama could easily see her. Luckily Dinah’s hair was big enough to block anyone’s view. No one could see what was going on.

She pulled away with bruised lips, gasping for air. But Camila grabbed her by the neck and pulled her back. “I’m not done with you yet.” Camila sucked on Dinah’s lip teasingly before running her tongue over it. Dinah’s lips parted slightly to allow Camila to slip her tongue in but their tongues battled for dominance. Two tops fighting for power. That had to be someone’s fantasy.

Camila must have gotten fed up because she quickly pulled away and growled, “what the hell are you doing? You know that I top, right? I’m not gonna make an exception for you.”

Dinah laughed mockingly as Camila scowled at her. “Oh, that’s so cute, isn’t it? You trying to top _me._ I don’t think so. Go fuck our girlfriend if you want someone submissive.” She gave Camila a shit-eating grin and kissed her once more. “See you around, sweetheart.” The brunette rolled her eyes but then gave Dinah a big, heartwarming smile.

The blonde got out of the car and slammed the door behind her before making her way up to the house. She heard Camila start the car and turn around. But all Dinah could think was: 1. Why the hell didn’t she kiss Camila sooner? 2. Holy crap, she just cheated on Lauren. Actually, _they_ just cheated on Lauren.

She had a bad feeling Lauren wouldn’t be as understanding about a potential relationship between Dinah and Camila if they went behind her back, and that was exactly what they just did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> someone stop caminah ffs those damn sinners smh. anyway, next chapter may not come for a long while work has been really hectic and i only get a solid 2 hours off during the day and small 45 minute breaks. writing does not come easy during then, so i'd say the latest is 3 weeks? it'll be worth it though... camrenah's coming soon. :)


	19. nineteen: all this shit is weird

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> working at summer camp was a blast. never get tired of working with the craziest kids you'll ever meet, but anyway here's what you've all been waiting for. don't kill me. i know i'm the worst. :)

“Your eggs will get cold.”

Dinah ignored Lauren and continued picking at her hash browns. Lauren let out an agitated sigh and took some of the eggs from Dinah’s plate. She looked up and smiled gratefully at her girlfriend. Her appetite wasn’t that great. She had called Lauren that morning hoping that they could have a nice breakfast date because the entire week, things were really busy. The winter pep rally was coming up and band and cheer practice took up all her spare hours. And the subtle flirting with Camila took on a new level, it was now total flirting. Neither had made a move since their kiss on Monday, but the suggestive touches and lingering stares definitely had the same effect as a kiss.

Every time she looked at Lauren, she saw Camila leaning in to kiss her. It hurt her heart to know that _she_ cheated. It didn’t really feel like cheating because she was kissing Lauren’s other girlfriend, but she still _cheated._ Lauren deserved so much better. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t spit it out.

So right now? Dinah was in a big shit of a mess. A big huge shit of a mess. And it sucked.

“Are you okay, babe?” Lauren asked, waving her hand in front of her face and effectively snapping Dinah out of her trance.

“Yeah,” she responded quickly. “Just tired.”

Lauren smiled and reached over to grab Dinah’s hand that wasn’t holding a fork. “Eat your hashbrowns. I don’t want food to go to waste.”

Dinah grumbled and stuck a forkful in her mouth. Although, she nearly spat it out when Lauren gave her a big, proud grin. It didn’t take much to get that girl smiling. She chewed and swallowed her potatoes. “You’ve been smiling a lot lately.”

“You’ve noticed,” Lauren noted.

“How could I not? The best thing about you is your smile.”

Lauren huffed and rolled her eyes playfully. “You and Camila have been so great to me. Both of you guys make my life so much better, and to be so okay with all this… I’m truly blessed. You guys seem closer than ever!”

Dinah couldn’t help but inwardly grimace. Of course, they’d be okay with this and closer than ever because behind her back Camila and Dinah were giving each other heart eyes. “I’m glad. I’m so happy things are going well for you, Lo.”

“Me too,” Lauren said. “We only have a few more months of high school, and this is like my peak.

Dinah rolled her eyes. “Your peak has yet to come. If you peak in high school like Ariana Grande, everything is guaranteed to come crashing down.”

Lauren scoffed and let go of Dinah’s hand. She raised a brow questioningly. “No! I know my peak hasn’t come yet. I know I’ll peak in life when I’m selling out Madison Square Garden. But I haven’t yet, and I’m totally okay with that.”

“You’re only seventeen,” Dinah agreed. “By thirty, you _will_ be selling out stadiums, and I’ll hopefully be your gorgeous wife next to you… either performing with you with the band or backstage smiling with a bouquet of roses.”

“Aw, baby…” Lauren cooed. “You see us married in the future?”

Dinah bit her lip and nodded shyly. It was kind of a fantasy of hers, one that she got when she spent all those years pining after Lauren. She dreamed of walking down the aisle in a gorgeous white dress while her family watched proudly. And then Lauren would stand at the end of the aisle in her white dress with tears in her eyes. And if she didn’t, her ass was leaving. Because if your spouse didn’t cry when you walked down the aisle, you better leave their ungrateful ass because you’re the best goddamn thing in their life.

“Yeah… I love you a lot, so I see the future with you.” Dinah tensed when she saw Lauren’s eyes widen. “Is it too soon to say that? Shit, I’m sorry-”

The green-eyed girl quickly shook her head. “No! No! It’s not too soon at all, babe. I love you too, and it’s not like we’re gonna get married tomorrow. We’ve known each other for years… Of course, it feels like we’ve been together for that long.” Lauren smiled widely, giving Dinah a big case of butterflies. “I see a future with you too.”

Dinah couldn’t contain her smile. She was so in love with Lauren that it was crazy. She was so beyond lucky to have her. Every waking moment she had spent with her was amazing. And if things were only going to go uphill from there, she couldn’t wait to see what was next.

“Eat your eggs, Dinah,” Lauren reminded her. “Or I will.”

“Don’t touch my food, bish,” Dinah warned as she scooped up a forkful of eggs and stuck them in her mouth. “Bedder?” she asked with her mouth full.

Lauren’s nose scrunched up in disgust. “You’re so gross.”

“You’re still gonna kiss me after this, so I really don’t care,” Dinah said sassily after swallowing her eggs.

“Hey, can I get you, ladies, anything else?”

Their hands immediately detach like they were just touching hot water.

_Ugh, it’s Brad Simpson._

Dinah narrowed her eyes and looked up at the stupid, no-lipped, home-schooled white boy that worked at this dumb cafe in Delta. She leaned back in her chair, knowing her angry lesbian stares would not mean anything, especially since Lauren was oblivious as fuck. She would soak up his stupid flirty comments and think nothing of it.

“No, I think we’ll get the check,” Lauren answered with a small smile. “But thanks, Brad.”

Brad smiled. “Right away.” Or was it even a smile? He looked constipated, in Dinah’s opinion.

When the dumbass was gone, Dinah huffed loudly and rolled her eyes. “He’s so annoying,” she said quietly.

She hated that Lauren laughed at that. “Annoying? I think he’s cute!”

“But he isn’t.” Dinah blinked. “He’s ugly.”

“Aw, is wittle baby Dinah jealous?”

Dinah really didn’t appreciate Lauren’s mocking and condescending tone. It made her lip curl upwards in anger. She took another bite of her eggs. “I ain’t jealous. Fuck off.”

“You so _are_ jealous,” Lauren continued with a big, shit-eating grin, one that Dinah wanted to force off either with a slap or shoving Lauren up against a wall and kissing her. She was sure by the looks she was giving Lauren, peeing on her leg would have the same effect. Lauren belonged to two people, and one of them was not that dumb waiter that looked like a rejected Ken doll.

Dinah rolled her eyes, put her fork down, and crossed her arms. “I don’t get jealous.”

“Bullshit,” Lauren laughed. “I had you fuming when I was with Camila.”

She was right. Sometimes Dinah would lie awake at night imagining Camila kissing Lauren, and it would make her so angry. She wanted to drive over to the Silver Mine, causing a ruckus. Wake up everyone there, the Grandes, the Steinfelds, the Brookes, and have them watch as she grabs Camila by the neck and strangles her before taking Lauren as her own. It was a wild, dangerous fantasy, but she couldn’t bear the thought of Lauren and Camila at times. Not when she craved Lauren constantly, and that girl had no idea what personal space was. She just cuddled up to Dinah so obliviously that it drove her nuts.

Now, Dinah wanted to grab Camila and strangle her, but only to assert her dominance. Did she ever mention that she was kinky as fuck? No? Good, some of the things that crossed her mind should be kept there. Because Silver is a wholesome town and should not be defiled by all the naughty things Dinah wanted to do to her partners.

Her jaw clenched. “You better watch your tone, missy,” Dinah hissed.

“Or what?”

Brad came by with the check moments later, and Lauren batted her eyelashes innocently. She thanked him while giving a subtle wink that left the boy’s cheeks crimson and Dinah’s blood boiling. Lauren pulled out a few twenties and licked her lips as she acted oblivious to Dinah’s anger.

She smiled widely. “Ready to go?”

Dinah nodded grimly and glanced over at the check to make sure no funny business went down. Spoiler alert: funny business did go down. Lauren wrote her number on the check. How dare she? Was this some kind of sick joke?

This girl was gonna pay. She really was gonna pay for this.

She got out of her seat and marched to the door, ignoring how Lauren sent a wave to Brad behind the counter. Dinah wasn’t even turned on by this. She was just _pissed._ Dinah stormed out of the restaurant and unlocked her car by pressing the buttons on her key. She heard Lauren come up behind her and narrowed her eyes at her dumb chuckle.

“See? So jealous.”

Dinah spun around on her heels. “You know what? You’re being a real fucking brat, Jauregui.”

“Oooh, I’m being bratty? What are you gonna do? Punish me?”

Dinah ignored her and got in the car. She was in no mood for Lauren and her bullshit. She usually didn’t get this mad at her. But now? God damn, she was pissed. She started the car and plugged her phone in. Music began blasting from the speakers as she waited for Lauren to get in the car. Lauren seemed surprised by Dinah’s lack of verbal reaction, but she got in the car anyway

Thus began the six-mile journey back to Hansen Dairy Farm. It would probably be shorter though because Dinah was going ninety miles an hour. What can she say? When she was angry, she drove fast.

“Dinah… Jesus Christ, why are you going so fast?” Lauren shouted over the music.

“Shut up,” Dinah growled. “I’m tryna drive.”

“Going ninety?”

“Yeah.”

Lauren frowned and shook Dinah’s shoulder. Dinah quickly brushed her off. “You’re gonna get us killed, asshole.”

Dinah shrugged. “Don’t care.”

She didn’t seem to like Dinah’s answer, but Dinah didn’t care. It was Lauren’s fault for being bratty in the first place. It got Dinah in this mood in the first place. And from there, there was no stopping her now. Lauren glanced from the road back to Dinah, looking beyond anxious.

They hit a bump at lightning speed, and Lauren lurched forward. Her grip on Dinah’s shoulder returned and she tightened. “Stop the car.”

Dinah ignored her and kept driving.

“Dinah,” Lauren tried again. “Stop the car.”

She ignored her again.

Lauren’s breath hitched as she ran a hand through her hair in frustration. “Dinah, if you don’t stop the car…” She gulped. “Please, I’m really scared right now.” That finally got through Dinah’s thick skull, and she pressed on the brakes. She pulled over on the side of the highway and slowed the car to a stop. Dinah slowly turned off the car and looked over at Lauren. She was shaking like a leaf, poor girl.

Her resolve immediately crumbled, and she quickly cupped Lauren’s cheek. That was really stupid of her. Dinah made a lot of stupid decisions. How many had she done the past week? A solid one hundred sixty-seven stupid decisions. The stupidest probably being kissing Camila in the car, but even _that_ was getting a run for its money. Most of the time when Dinah was angry, she made reckless decisions that she only regretted later, but she just put Lauren in danger. She was so upset and jealous that she thought that coping recklessly was more important than her girlfriend’s safety. “Lo, I’m so…” She exhaled quietly. “I’m so sorry. I should’ve stopped. I had no idea-”

“I should be asking if you’re okay,” Lauren interrupted her. “That wasn’t you driving.”

“I was upset,” Dinah admitted. “I didn’t like how much you were pushing me and making me jealous.”

Lauren then broke out into a small smile. “See? I knew you were jealous.”

“Now’s not the time. You can gloat all you like later…”

“Oh, I _will._ ”

“Lauren.”

“Sorry…”

Dinah cleared her throat. “As I was saying, I was upset, and I have a right to be upset because you put your fucking _number_ on the bill for that pale dumbo. Seriously, Laur?”

Lauren burst out laughing. “Oh, baby, sometimes you can be so stupid.” She leaned in and kissed Dinah gently. “Did you even see what the number was on his bill?” The blonde shook her head. Truthfully, she didn’t get a good look at it. She just saw the area code and first number and assumed it was Lauren’s. “I gave him Shawn Mendes’s number. Camila so graciously gave it to me in case I need to whoop his straight ass.

”So, you… tried to trick me into thinking you’d put your number down? For what reason?”

Lauren shrugged. “Dunno. I thought it would be funny.”

“Brat,” Dinah huffed.

“Watch it,” Lauren warned.

She grinned at her girlfriend. “Oh, you’re telling _me_ to watch it? Just wait until we back to my place. You’re gonna get it.”

How did Dinah’s aggressive behavior turn to one of complete light-heartedness? Lauren Jauregui happened. Being around her made her into a better person, and she knew it too. So this was what a soulmate was: someone who could calm the storm with just a smile and a few comforting words. That was Lauren to her. Wow, she was so in love.

_But guess what, asshole? You think you’re so in love? You cheated on her. She’s not going to love you anymore after that. After all she did to make sure she wasn’t cheating on Camila when she got with you too…_

Dinah hated that her subconscious was right. She had to tell her the truth and soon. Hiding this and pretending that everything was all fine and dandy was only making things worse. But maybe she wanted Lauren to still love her like she could do nothing wrong. Maybe she was being selfish, but she couldn’t lose Lauren, not when Lauren meant this much to her.

But instead of dwelling on it any longer, she kissed Lauren again. She cupped her girlfriend’s cheeks and pulled her closer, but the damn console in between them was in the way. Dinah huffed and pulled away. “I hate this car. I can’t make out with my girl.”

“Plus there’s the fact that anyone could see us…” Lauren pointed out, gesturing to the empty U.S. Route 69.

“Oh, like anybody actually uses this highway at this time of day,” Dinah scoffed. “It’s Saturday morning.”

“We’re using it,” Lauren said like the smartass that she was.

Dinah rolled her eyes and put the car in drive. “I could take the dirt roads if I wanted… one of them leads to back entrance of the farm, but then I gotta drive through an uncleared road down the back way. My daddy and I will have to take care of that.”

“This car ain’t made for that kind of road.”

“No shit, bro.”

“Bro? Did you just call me bro?” Lauren asked. Her nostrils flared in disgust. “You eat me out, do bros do that?”

“Only if it’s no homo,” Dinah replied as she looked in her mirrors, checked her blind spot, and pulled off onto the highway. “And if you know one thing about me, I’m so homo that I can’t even be satisfied with one girl,” she muttered under her breath very quietly, making sure that Lauren didn’t hear her. Thankfully, Lauren didn’t seem to hear it because she was swaying to the beat of Dinah’s loud music. She looked over at her and smiled at her adoringly, placing her hand on Lauren’s thigh before turning her attention back to the road.

Dinah’s phone buzzed, and Lauren reached down to grab it. “I got it!” Dinah prayed it wasn’t Camila sending her a flirty text or God forbid, Zendaya texting her _again._ “It’s from Camila,” Lauren informed her, “‘Hey, Dinah! Can you come over later? I need some help with my chemistry study guide!’ Weird… I thought Camz was good at chemistry-”

“Tell her I say yes,” Dinah cut her off quickly. She gripped the steering wheel tighter. “And maybe she just needed a bit extra assistance? I _am_ crazy smart.” She flipped her hair dramatically.

“You are crazy smart,” Lauren agreed. “Everyone needs a little sprinkle of your genius to get through the day.”

“Ugh. You are so cute!”

* * *

“Camila, seriously, I thought you wanted to study-”

“I _am_ studying. Human anatomy. With my mouth. Your neck is so… divine…”

Dinah let out a strangled moan when Camila nipped her pulse point and grabbed a fistful of her brown hair. Here she went again, going behind Lauren’s back with Lauren’s girlfriend like she wasn’t just freaking out over it hours ago. Maybe she was just like her mother - selfish, greedy, and unapologetic. She knew Lauren wouldn’t be okay with this secretive stuff, so why was she still doing it?

Because Camila was unbelievably charming, and she didn’t even have to do anything.

“Fuck,” Dinah moaned, falling back onto Camila’s pillows. Camila crawled forward, straddling Dinah’s lap as she continued her relentless attack on her neck. Biting, nipping, and sucking several spots that made Dinah’s knees weak and pleased noises escape her lips.

Camila Cabello, in her parents’ very religious home, was making out with her like nobody could stop her.

Dinah’s hands slipped to Camila’s sides and squeezed them softly. “I can’t believe I’m letting you top me. You’re so gonna get it.” Camila pulled her head away and glared at her, placing her finger over Dinah’s lips to quiet her.

“My house? My rules. You’re going to sit here and let me do my thing because I say so, alright?” Camila asked in a firm voice.

She rolled her eyes but nodded slowly. In all honesty, she was too lazy to push the tiny girl off of her anyway. Dinah didn’t feel like apologizing profusely for pushing her fellow cheerleader on the floor.

Camila got right back to work after kissing Dinah’s nose gently. Dinah sighed in satisfaction and closed her eyes as Camila kissed her neck tenderly. This was so nice, wrong, but still nice enough to send chills down Dinah’s spine and a content smile to form on her lips. She massaged her fingers through her hair and raked her nails over her scalp. Camila groaned in approval and bit down on the skin above Dinah’s collarbone harshly.

“Don’t leave too many marks… I still gotta cover these up.”

“Too late,” she laughed. “At least your lion’s mane will take care of it.”

Dinah snorted in amusement. “Lion’s mane…”

“What? It’s true!”

“And strangely appropriate.”

Both girls laughed quietly at their banter before a comfortable silence fell upon them except for the sound of Camila’s lips smacking and popping when she pulled away and attached her lips to other parts of Dinah’s neck while Dinah moaned softly. It truly was blissful, a study session that Dinah will never forget.

Camila kissed her way up to Dinah’s jawline and then pulled away. She grinned at her before connecting their lips once more. Dinah sighed into the kiss as she held Camila close to her.

This was what she wanted. This was exactly what she needed.

“Kaki!”

Dinah quickly pushed Camila off her, unfortunately causing her friend to roll right onto the floor.

“Kaki! Woah-”

Camila screamed loudly when the door swung open to reveal Camila’s younger sister. The blonde covered her mouth in shock, heartbeat going a mile a minute. There was no freaking way this girl didn’t see what was going on, and she was going to tell her parents. Dinah’s lips and neck were bruised, and she had a strong urge to be pushed down the stairs.

The brunette groaned and sat up. “Uh, hey, Sofi…” Camila stammered.

“Hi, Camila’s sister…” Dinah greeted nervously. “I’m sorry, uh… You see, Camila here was trying to get this eyelash off my face, and it just wouldn’t budge.”

Camila shot her a look that said: “she ain’t gonna buy that”. Dinah just shrugged.

Sofi blinked. “Ohhh, did she get it off?”

“Yes,” Camila replied without hesitation. “She sure did. Thanks so much, Dinah.”

“No problem, Walz,” Dinah drawled.

“Anyway…” Camila clasped her hands together. “What did you need, Sof?”

“Oh! Uh… Mami says dinner’s going to be ready soon! And your friend can join us.” Sofi’s gaze moved to meet Dinah’s. A big grin formed on her lips and Dinah couldn’t help but notice that she had really crooked teeth, and it was really off-putting. Well, everyone in this town had bad teeth. Even _Dinah_ had bad teeth. “What’s your name?”

Dinah smiled bashfully. “Dinah… Dinah Jane Hansen.”

“Kaki!” Sofi gasped. “You’re friends with… a Hansen? Mami says that they’re-”

“Sofi, _no,_ ” Camila hissed.

“Sofi, yes.” Dinah crossed her arms over her chest and raised a perplexed brow. “I wanna know what people think of my family out in this town, especially since y’all are from the Silver Mine. Their opinion means everything.”

Camila shot her a warning glare, but Dinah didn’t care. She was past the point of caring anyway. Maybe a negative opinion about her mama would make her feel better about being the butt of the joke that was her family.

Sofi shrugged. “Uh… Mami says that Mrs. Hansen is crazy. Like she’s got a whole lot of evil in her. Like… like… Malf- Malen- Kaki, how do you say her name?”

“Maleficent.”

“Right! But she’s kind of ugly like the witch from _Snow White._ ”

Ouch. Calling her mama ugly. Dinah should be defending her mama’s name but… nah. “Please, tell me more,” Dinah requested, resting her chin on her hands as she plopped down on her stomach and propped her elbows up.

“Well, Mrs. Hansen is totally crazy. Mami says someone with that many kids has gotta be planning evil things.”

“I can confirm that’s true,” Dinah said with a wink. “The more the malevolent.”

Sofi gasped in surprise. “Really!?”

Camila rolled her eyes. “She’s joking. Right, Dinah?” she hissed.

Dinah looked at the ground at Camila and shook her head. She was having way too much fun pulling this kid’s leg. “No, I ain’t joking, Not at all.”

Her friend groaned while Sofi squealed, begging Dinah to tell her more about the “evil Hansen family”. Dinah was more than happy to tell her. Ranging from how her mama was mean to her kids, to the crazy ways they had of running the farm. She also explained the Hansen family’s obsession with guns. It was for a good reason. Dinah and her family believed they should be able to exercise their second amendment rights. However, Dinah believed they should only carry a gun _if_ there was a threat. Who had the time or pocket space to carry those big metal death machines around all the time?

And the best part? The more Dinah talked, the more infuriated Camila got. She couldn’t have planned this scenario better if it had been handed to her on a platter. Corrupting little kids was second nature when she grew up in a family with crazy kids like Mila, Hoi, Vaka, Regina, and soon, Seth to fill with her terrible influence.

“Alright, alright, Sofi. Tell mami I’ll be down in a minute,” Camila finally said, interrupting Dinah’s story about the time Betsy ran away from the farm and her daddy went on a literal witch hunt.

Sofi pouted but listened to her sister, spinning on her heels and skipping out of Camila’s bedroom. When the door shut, Camila groaned in annoyance and climbed back onto her bed. “I can’t believe you,” she huffed. “I really can’t believe you, Dinah Jane.”

“I know. I’m just that great,” Dinah boasted.

“A great, obnoxious P.O.S., sure.”

“That means piece of shit, right!?”

“What else would it mean?”

Dinah shrugged nonchalantly. “Parents Over Shoulder, Probability of Success, Project Office Support…” She laughed gently. “The list could go on and on…”

Camila rolled her eyes and climbed over to sit next to Dinah. “You’re such a smartass,” she chastised as she cuddled up to Dinah’s side. And like she had absolutely no filter (just like Dinah Jane), she asked, “wanna make out again?”

“No.” Dinah was quick to respond this time. Two times was bad enough. She refused to make it three. They really needed to talk to Lauren about this, and the more minutes they spent behind Lauren’s back, the more pissed she’ll be. Dinah just knew that the best case scenario was Lauren losing her trust in them. And honestly, that didn’t sound as bad as Lauren swearing them off and wanting nothing to do with them after that. At least you could gain trust back.

Camila’s brows furrowed in confusion and hurt flashed over her expression. “No?”

“It’s… not a good idea,” Dinah elaborated. “Not that I don’t like it, it’s just-”

“Lauren.”

“Yeah.”

“A walking talking vagblock, isn’t she?” Camila remarked with an eye roll. Dinah could tell she wasn’t serious, but now wasn’t the time to be joking around as much as Dinah would love to make a joke out of everything. “You’re right. We should really stop. I mean… the more we do this, the worse it gets. I’m a jealous person normally, and I was so understanding because y’all weren’t… _doing_ anything. _We_ actually did something.”

Dinah sighed sadly. “I know, Mila. If she were smart, she’d dump us.”

“I don’t wanna lose Lauren though,” Camila protested. “I love her, and she’s made me the happiest I’ve ever been in years. In fact, I don’t think _she_ even deserves me. I continue to treat her like crap and for what? A half-assed apology? The things she does for me… I can’t even come close to returning. Staying in Silver for me, forgiving me for every single outburst… Christ, if she forgives me for going behind her back-”

“She has to,” Dinah interrupted, knowing damn well that she was spewing shit. “Lauren loves us. She should understand…” Her voice faltered slightly. “At this point, I’m just saying things to try and convince myself they’ll come true. They won’t, but at least we don’t have to take the heat alone.”

“You’re right. We don’t! But how is that any more comforting?”

Dinah didn’t have a good answer for that, so she just shrugged. “It ain’t, but Mila, it’s the right thing to do.”

“You’re not saying-”

A grim smile formed on the blonde’s lips as she shifted on her side to look at her. “I’m saying exactly that,” she confirmed.

Camila shook her head and bit her lip. “Dinah, no,” she croaked. “I can’t do that. I’m- I’m too scared.”

“Do you think this is easy for me too!?” Dinah asked. “No! We made a mistake, so we gotta own up to it, alright? We can do this.”

“You can,” Camila replied as she sat up, crossing her arms. “I’m not. Let’s just pretend this never happened and go back to our regular lives when we were just friends. You can tell her what you did.” Her dismissive tone made Dinah’s face contort in anger. Lauren was right about Camila being a coward, in more ways than just her sexuality. It was downright abhorrent.

Dinah huffed. “Uh, did you forget that _you_ kissed _me_? You ain’t innocent, partner.”

“You gave me permission to,” she argued.

“Exactly,” Dinah agreed. “We’re both not innocent. So we both tell Lauren. We both apologize, and we both deal with the consequences.”

Camila groaned, scratching her head in frustration. Dinah narrowed her eyes in determination and cleared her throat. The brunette sighed and reached over Dinah to grab her phone off of the bedside table. “Fine. Just… whatever happens… promise you won’t leave my side?”

She nodded in response to Camila’s request and took her hand, intertwining their fingers. “Of course, Walz. I’ll always be here.”

Camila smiled bashfully and bowed her head before typing out a message for Lauren. Dinah brushed a bit of Camila’s hair behind her ear and kissed her cheek gently. “Always,” she mumbled against her skin as she heard Camila’s breathing pick up. If Lauren decided that after this she didn’t want anything to do with them, at least they have each other.

* * *

What kind of town left their church unlocked at 11:30 at night? Silver, Texas did. Dinah expected some sort of super-secret spy mission kind of sorcery when Camila suggested they all meet at the Baptist church in town. Lockpicking and Camila in a super tight outfit; she wasn’t sure which was better, but all that was wishful thinking. Maybe Dinah should ask Ally why in the hell her daddy left the church unlocked. Then again, who would wanna rob anything from a small town church? The lockbox with all the donations better have been locked.

Disclaimer: it wasn’t. Dinah tried the lock in the church’s office and she managed to open it without much trouble. The key was literally hanging on the wall with a sign that said ‘DONATIONS KEY’ above it. Pastor Hernandez’s daughter was the frontrunner for valedictorian, but his IQ had to be -10. Funny how things worked like that.

“This is so creepy,” Dinah remarked as she shined her flashlight over the bookcases in the church’s library. “All these records are dusty… back from when this town was literally a silver mine.”

Dinah pulled out the first book she laid her eyes on. The record came from 1870 or was it 1890? As she flipped through the pages, she half-expected to find some information on how the town came to be. Specifically, when was Silver's primetime? She licked her lips and flipped through the pages to look for anything interesting. Confessions, church picnics, where was anything on Silver's history? And then it hit her - it was a church, not a town hall. If she wanted some good information on Silver's records, she'd have to buddy up with Hailee Steinfeld.

"Great. Just great," she sighed as she put the book back. "Guess I'm not learning anything about Great Grandpapa Hansen."

Silver had an interesting history. The first people to settle in the area were the Hansens themselves. With their big farmhouse that they got as a reward for fighting in the Mexican-American war, Dinah's ancestors got to live a quiet and peaceful life after the war for a solid twenty years. Other settlers came in around 1865, disturbing the peace that the Hansens had, and an official community came together in 1870. That was when Shawn Mendes' good ol' great grandpa established the first sawmill and the town became an official community. Ever since then, nothing much had changed in Silver. They got their first flashing light in 2014, and the grocery store finally started selling beer about a few years ago. Silver was just that progressive.

She was pulled from her thoughts when she heard giggling coming from the parlor area. "Mila?" she whispered quietly, shining her light towards the door. What exactly could she be laughing at? Dinah dismissed the idea of there being a ghost and swallowed the lump in her throat before tiptoeing to the exit of the office.

"The church, really? I'm getting real creeped out... Say, _American Horror Story_ season 8 could totally take place here, right?"

Lauren.

Dinah bit back her grin. Once she was reminded of the real reason why Lauren was here, she wasn't as super excited to see her girlfriend as she was before. The blonde took a deep breath and opened the office door slowly.

Camila and Lauren were both sitting on the leather couch in the parlor. Camila sat at the very edge while Lauren was right next to her, though Camila didn't seem very comfortable with the girl right next to her. That was a sure way to get their cover blown.

"Hey," Dinah said quietly, lowering her phone flashlight so it wasn't blinding Camila or Lauren.

"Hey, DJ!" Lauren greeted, waving her over. "What were you doing in there?"

Dinah laughed. "The obvious: being a Nosy Nelly."

Camila chuckled in agreement. "That's Dinah for ya."

Dinah sauntered over to where her girlfriend and Camila sat. She looked over at the leather armchair, the couch, and then the exit. She didn't feel like talking in the parlor. For some reason, that wasn't very... romantic to her. "Do you guys wanna... go in the sanctuary?"

"As if the lighting's any better in there though," Camila remarked.

"Windows, Camz. The sanctuary has windows," Lauren reminded her.

"Bruh, it's pitch black!" Dinah argued.

Lauren let out a soft laugh. "Yet you were the one that suggested that we go in there," she mused.

Dinah sighed in defeat, placing her hands on her hips. "You got me there. C'mon Mila and Laur. Maybe we can find some candles."

Camila hopped to her feet. "Oh! There should be some in the church office." Really? Then why the hell didn't Dinah see them before? "I'll go get them. You guys... go into the sanctuary."

Dinah nodded, although Camila couldn't exactly see her, and sighed softly. Lauren got off the couch and felt around until she grabbed onto Dinah's arm. Dinah felt herself being pulled into a tight embrace, and her heart felt like it was melting. Lauren rested her head on Dinah's shoulder and sighed contently. "Hi," she breathed out. "Isn't this so romantic? Hanging out in a church in the dark... We could have so much fun."

"You're kidding, right? Camila's here!" Dinah chastised.

"Like Britney Spears would say, it's always better in threes."

"Pretty sure that song was about a threesome."

"Pretty sure nobody gives a shit."

A loud crash came from the office, and both girls jumped apart. Lauren stifled a giggle, and Dinah exhaled shakily. "Mila... you good?"

More rustling. Eventually, Camila came out with a lit red candle. "Yup! I just had to look through some things. I hope Pastor Hernandez won't be mad that I knocked some of his folders over."

"And what do they contain exactly? Obituaries? In honor of Dinah Jane Hansen, who oh-so-sadly fell from grace when she chose to be a lesbian asks for a simple ten dollar donation for her losses. Oh, and to please 'Press 'F' to pay respects.'"

"Dinah," Lauren huffed. "Do you ever take anything seriously?"

Dinah laughed and crossed her arms. Camila slowly cupped the candle close to her and made her way towards the sanctuary. "I should really start charging people for asking that question. _Boy,_ I'd be rich," she noted, tossing her hair dramatically and following Camila into the sanctuary.

The room was quite drafty, and Dinah felt rather chilly. She hugged her arms over her chest and looked around the dark space. Something felt very ominous, and the setting to drop such a big bomb was probably... not the smartest.

Was Dinah getting cold feet? Definitely. But keeping secrets in Silver was never easy for anyone in Silver, so it was better now than never.

Camila took a seat right by the altar, leaning back against the wooden structure. Lauren and Dinah took seats on either side of her. Dinah noticed that Camila was breathing quite heavily, and she oh-so-badly wanted to reach out and grab her hand to comfort her, but the candlelight was still revealing, and Lauren would definitely ask questions.

Lauren exhaled contently and smiled. "See? Isn't this so nice? Us getting together and relaxing in such... fine conditions? I got both of my girls with me with nobody to see us or judge us. Of course, we'll need to be back by midnight because of Camz's curfew."

"Yeah, yeah, who cares," Dinah mumbled under her breath.

Her girlfriend raised a brow. "Excuse me?" she asked in an almost threatening tone.

"Sorry. I'm just tired." Dinah was quick to try and redeem herself. "Mila here really wore me out with that anato- I mean chemistry."

"Yeah," Camila agreed quickly, bobbing her head. "She really got me going with those... bonds."

Stupid, naive Lauren seemed to buy that because she put on a cheerful grin and giggled. "See? I'm glad y'all could help each other out. This is the kind of thing I was hoping for when I got together with both of you. Coexisting... my two girls being good ol' chums."

 _Oh, we were certainly being chummy,_ Dinah thought.

Camila chuckled nervously and scratched her head. "Yeah... uh, I can't say this situation was very ideal at first, but-"

Lauren grinned. "I know? Dating two girls at once is weird, but you were so understanding about it, Camz! I mean... I was really surprised. Ain't you usually a very jealous person?"

"Well, yes..."

"So, it's a goddamn miracle!"

Dinah wished there was an option to throw herself out the window and get hit by a semi-truck. Lauren was literally so stupid and out-of-the-loop that it was adorable but also very, very tragic. She exhaled quietly and played with the hair tie on her wrist. They had to get this over with soon. They needed to reveal things because otherwise, hell was going to break loose. Dinah's gaze moved to meet Camila's. The poor girl was thinking the exact same thing.

"Shit, I don't know how long I can do this," Dinah mumbled. "This is killing me... literally."

Lauren's jovial demeanor fell. She furrowed her brows and tilted her head to the side. "Hey, what's up? Is something going on?

"Yes," Dinah answered. "Something is, in fact, going on. Lauren, we haven't exactly been honest with you-"

"What do you mean?"

She swallowed thickly, looking at Camila and Lauren worriedly. She was going to be the one to break the news, wasn't she? Dinah Jane Hansen, the homewrecker. Living up to her name like it was nothing. It was time to swallow her pride and face the music. "Listen, Lauren... Camila and I love you so much. You know that, right? I've loved you forever, and now that I finally have you. I can't imagine losing you. I need you in my life so much that it's-"

"Just spit it out already, please," her girlfriend interrupted in a harsh tone.

Dinah bit her lip and looked back at Camila. Camila's expression was stoic, but she could tell that she was shaking violently. She looked so fragile. Dinah absolutely couldn't imagine what she was thinking. "Mila and I... we've kissed. More than once behind your back," she informed her with a shaky exhale. "And I know exactly what you're thinking. We should-"

"What the fuck, Dinah? Are you fucking kidding me?" Lauren seethed. "You're trying to tell me that you kissed my girl, and you're expecting me to be fucking okay with it?"

"I did _not_ say that you should be okay with it," Dinah protested as she held her hands up in defense. "I did not _once_ say that you should be okay with it."

"Yeah, well, you're going about it like you're expecting me to accept that you guys kissed... more than once..." The green-eyed girl exhaled and frowned. "More than once," she repeated. "More than once. How the _hell_ have you guys had time to kiss more than once!? Did you... do it in the locker rooms after cheer practice when you know I couldn't see you?" She laughed mirthlessly while glaring at Dinah menacingly. "I bet you shoved Camila up against a wall and stuck her hand in those short cheer skirts of yours, making her _moan_ your name when you know damn well that you're mine, and that she's mine, you fucking traitor!"

Camila inhaled sharply and reached out to grab Lauren's arm. "Lauren, stop it. It wasn't like that-"

Lauren ripped Camila's hand off her arm and shook her head. She glared at Camila, practically ripping her apart with her menacing gaze. "And _you_ ... don't think you're off the hook either. How _could_ you, Camz? How could- I thought you loved me! I thought you both loved me! And you decided that just wasn't enough for you, so you went behind my damn back," she cried out. "In what universe is that okay? Even with our crazy situation, that doesn't make cheating valid. You both should know that. At least I had the decency to tell you about my feelings for Dinah! You just had to fuck things up.”

“I’m not sorry for kissing Dinah, Lo,” she replied firmly. “But I am sorry things had to go down like this.”

“No, you’re not because you’re a fucking _coward._ You’re always looking for the easy way out of things, so you don’t confront your feelings at all.”

Dinah’s nostrils flared as Camila’s breath hitched. “Lauren, that was completely uncalled for. Do you think this is easy? For either of us?”

“Well, yeah because you’re a fucking homewrecker, Dinah,” Lauren snarked.

She raised a brow and snorted. “How am I a homewrecker if I’m sabotaging my own relationship too?” Dinah fired back. “You’ve got your definitions messed up, honey.”

“Oh, don’t be a smartass with me.”

“I’ll stop when you start being a rational human being.”

 _“Rational human being,”_ Lauren said mockingly as she stood up, crossing her arms. “You expect me to be a _rational human being_ when not one but two of my girlfriends go behind my back? A rational human being would have maimed both of you by now. I think I’m being pretty damn calm about this.” She took a threatening step closer to Dinah. “Considering you _betrayed_ me.”

Dinah’s stomach plummeted like she was on one of those high-drop rides at the county fair. She didn’t know what to say or how to respond to her. She _knew_ she messed up. “I don’t know what to say… or do… I’m so sorry, Lauren,” she croaked. Her trembling hand reached for Lauren’s. “You have no idea how much I’ve hated myself for this. I can’t believe I-” She took a long, deep breath. “But you have to know that this wasn’t easy for us, right? All this shit is weird. I mean, you grow up thinking you’re gonna marry some hunky country boy and end up running your family’s farm or business with about six kids and spending your Saturdays at the beauty shop while gossiping about Silver’s next disgrace. Next thing you know, boom, you like girls. And you end up falling for the same girl who’s trailer trash and pretends to smoke cigarettes so everyone thinks she’s cool. That’s when you know you’re ass-deep in trouble, right? And I guess that meant Camila and I are meant to be rivals because you chose her, and I still loved you. But then I find out you love me, and then we agree for you to date both of us- You can’t just imagine things to go smoothly. Right?” Dinah squeezed Lauren’s hand, giving her a pleading look. She hoped and prayed that her best friend, her girlfriend, her lover would listen to reason. “Right?”

Lauren shook her head slowly. “No, you really can’t imagine things to go smoothly. You really can’t. I just thought that things- that _you-_ would be different. I never expected you to go behind my back _ever_.”

“Lo, I’m sorry… you have to believe me when I say that I’m sorry,” Dinah croaked as she pulled Lauren into a tight embrace. She rested her head on Lauren’s shoulder and sniffled. “This can’t… be the end of us, can it? I love you, Lauren. I’ll do anything to fix this. Anything. Just please give me another chance.”

There was radio silence on Lauren’s end. She was just a ghost, standing there lifeless in Dinah’s arms. A few more moments passed, and it finally hit Dinah: they were over. Slowly she let go of her girlfriend, careful not to look in her eyes. She stepped back away from her and covered her mouth. Only then when she was a good few feet away from Lauren did she allow herself to slump back against the church’s wall and cry.

Camila, who had been silent for the entirety of Dinah and Lauren’s exchange, finally spoke up. “Lauren, I- Jesus, she’s so heartbroken. Don’t you have any remorse? I’m sorry too, but God, Dinah’s crying now. She thinks you’re-”

“Save it, Camila,” Lauren interrupted harshly.

“If you’re going to break up with anyone, break up with me,” Camila spat. “I was the one who kissed Dinah first. _I’m_ the coward. She doesn’t deserve this. Why can’t you yell at me like you yelled at her?”

“I’m just as mad at you, Camila. Believe me.”

“Then stop beating around the bush and yell at me! Break up with me! Do _something,_ for crying out loud!” Camila yelled loudly.

Lauren sighed agitatedly. “I’m not breaking up with you, Camila. Stop it.”

Dinah buried her face in her hands. Even after all they’d been through, Lauren was still going to choose Camila over her. She should have seen it coming. Dinah was _never_ good enough for anyone.

“What!?” Camila hissed. “No! That’s not fair. I’m not going to stay with you if you’re going to dump Dinah and not reprimand me. In case you’ve forgotten? I care about Dinah. And as of now, _we_ come in a package deal. You want to keep one; you’re gonna keep us both. We’re both going to face the consequences of our actions, so you might as well just lose both of us.”

“Camila,” Lauren hissed.

“So, what’s it gonna be? Lose us both?” Camila continued, practically taunting her. “Tick tock, Lolo. Time’s running out.”

Lauren groaned loudly. “Damn it! Shut up!” she shouted, effectively shutting Camila up and muffling Dinah’s sobs. “I’m not breaking up with either of you.”

Dinah lifted her face out of her hands. “Y-You’re not?” she croaked out quietly.

“You’re not?” Camila repeated softly.

“I’m not,” Lauren confirmed. She walked down the aisle and sighed, stuffing her hands in her coat pockets. She paced the church’s sanctuary while muttering something under her breath. Dinah chewed on her lower lip nervously and wiped the tears out of her eyes. Lauren paused right in the middle of the church and turned to face the tall wooden cross. “I’m just thinking… I’m so freaking stupid. I can’t believe I didn’t trust my instincts.”

Dinah’s breath hitched, and she sniffled once more. Camila didn’t make another sound. Both girls waited for Lauren to continue.

“That Christmas evening… I should have asked when I was telling you both how I felt about Dinah. I just didn’t know how you would react, but now that I do know,” Lauren continued quietly. “Dinah… Camila…”

“If you’re going to say something, say it now,” Camila said coolly.

Dinah nodded in agreement. “What are you talking about, Lo?”

Lauren sucked her breath in, looking up at the cross once more before turning back to her two girlfriends. With one last exhale, she asked the six-worded question Dinah was sure she would never forget. She was right; this was something that should have been said long ago:

“Why don’t we _all_ just date?”


	20. twenty: three's a crowd, except if you're camila, lauren, and dinah

_“Why don’t we_ all _just date?”_

Translation: “How could we all have been this stupid?”

Dinah’s Definition: “We could have just saved ourselves three weeks of bullshit.”

Her first reaction was to burst out laughing. She covered her mouth because God forbid anyone see her hideous smile. Camila and Lauren stared at her incredulously. Although, Lauren looked a lot more anxious than Camila did; Camila was just straight-up confused.

“Oh, man,” Dinah sighed, wiping her eyes and getting rid of those last stray tears. “This is unbelievable.”

“What is?” Lauren asked.

“All of this… I feel like I’m in some sort of TV show with a bad plot line,” Dinah elaborated. “I don’t freaking get it. Your teenage years are always the ones that are the most dramatic. The drama’s meant for the forty-year-old suburban moms!” She sighed, curling her left fist into a ball. “The only complex thought I should be having is why the Kool-Aid Man sounds like a porn star when he says ‘Oh, yeah!’ Even my last two brain cells can’t figure it out,” she continued.

Camila snorted loudly, covering her mouth and nose.

Lauren, on the other hand, was not amused. “Listen, if you’re trying to ease the tension with a completely outlandish remark-”

“Dinah, you’re so right. He does sound like a porn star,” Camila interrupted Lauren. “Do you know the running gag in _Family Guy_ in the courtroom when everyone’s like ‘Oh, no!' and then the Kool-Aid Man bursts through the wall and is like ‘Oh, yeah!’ Gets me every single time.”

“Or when Evil Stewie lured the Kool-Aid Man into the courtroom and killed him with a baseball bat…”

“And licked the Kool-Aid up off the floor like a freaking dog!”

Both girls roared with laughter while an annoyed Lauren Jauregui stood off to the side with her arms crossed over the chest. “Hey! Let’s fucking talk about this.”

Dinah and Camila immediately exchanged shocked glances. Dinah nodded slowly. “Uh, yeah, right. I’m sorry, Lo… I got distracted as always.” She swallowed the lump in her throat. “Continue.”

“To reiterate what I said before… I really wish I asked you guys out together before because now I feel like a total chump for being cheated on,” Lauren said meekly.

“Woah…” Dinah blinked. “No, this ain’t about you being a chump. Lauren, are you kidding me? We love you!” She turned to Camila expectantly, hoping that the brunette would piggyback off of what she was saying. “Right, Mila?”

Camila nodded fervently as she stood up. “Of course, I do! Well, Dinah does too, but what’s important that… what happened between Dinah and me is not your fault. You did nothing to make us want to kiss each other, does that make sense?” She shrugged, stuffing her hands in her fleece jacket’s pocket. “Like maybe you inspired us because you asked Dinah out, and I was jealous. Mostly because I’m terrible at sharing. I guess I didn’t like the idea of me not getting in on the action. You had Dinah, and I felt like I was deprived. It’s kind of hard to describe. I just… felt left out.”

“You could’ve told me about this, Camz. We always talk about our feelings to each other, right?” Lauren said practically pleading.

“No. I just tend to bottle everything up because I know nobody wants to hear my crap.”

“I do,” Lauren countered. “As your girlfriend, it’s my responsibility to hear your crap and listen to everything bothering you.”

Camila sucked her breath in. “Lauren,” she sighed as the green-eyed girl took a step towards her.

Dinah wanted to protest, to say that this was completely unnecessary. But she’d be damned if she ever voiced her opinions. So she stayed back, biting her lip as Lauren approached Camila. She cupped her cheek and gently stroke Camila’s face with her thumb. Dinah had to do her best to not make some sort of noise that would indicate she was swooning.

Current mood? Snoop Dogg holding up that sign that said ‘This is the cutest shit I’ve ever seen’.

“I love you, baby,” Lauren told her, “but I still wish you told me. I wish you both told me.” She looked over at Dinah pointedly. “Now it feels like I can’t trust you.”

“Lo, no, please-”

Dinah, on the other hand, would gladly take a loss of trust over being broken up with. At least you could gain back trust. “You don’t trust me anymore? That’s fine. I get it. If I pulled the same stuff, guaranteed I wouldn’t wanna touch you with a ten-foot pole.”

“What?” Camila blinked, shaking her head in confusion. “You’re okay with still dating Lauren even though she just said- Uh. How can you be in a relationship when you can’t trust them?”

“No, no, no, broski,” Dinah denied with a laugh.

“You should not be calling her anything with the prefix bro when you were sucking face with her literally hours ago,” Lauren muttered.

Dinah shrugged nonchalantly. “I don’t wanna go there, but I’m 90% sure there are people into town that are into that. Kissing siblings and stuff.”

“There goes my appetite, even if it’s almost midnight,” Camila grumbled.

Lauren sighed agitatedly and rolled her eyes. “To clarify, I still trust you guys, but not as much as I used to. I don’t know if you’ll go behind my back or not. You just have to regain that trust again.” She squeezed Camila’s shoulder reassuringly. “It won’t be that hard. I promise, Camz. I’m literally a softie when it comes to you two, apparently.”

Dinah knew Lauren wasn’t kidding about that, definitely not kidding. She chuckled and finally got to feet as she was kind of isolating herself from the conversation. “You sure? I was just about to move a mountain for you, Jauregui,” she joked. Her mood was slowly lifting each passing minute which surprised her. She expected a screaming match so loud and long that the sheriff would have to be called. None of them had an excuse for being at the church late at night. “Back to this, what do we do now?” she asked somewhat timidly. “Where do we go from here?”

“First of all, let me make this _very_ clear,” Camila spoke up. “I’m still going to have outbursts. That’s something that I’m slowly working on, but don’t expect any results soon, okay? It’s bad enough now I might have two people to worry about hurting.” She sighed softly, bowing her head a bit in shame. “This is all new to me. I don’t even know what you’re supposed to do when you date two people at the same time. Do we get schedules? I am not scheduling my love life.”

“No, silly,” Lauren said. “Instead of separate dates, we all go on group dates together. Plus, it’ll look less suspicious now that we’re ‘hanging out’ as a group, duh! Of course, we can always go on separate private dates too, but let the other person know because I know for sure that I can be one jealous bitch.”

“Yup, same,” Camila agreed.

“I’m not,” Dinah denied quickly. Both girls gave her incredulous looks, and she quickly backed down. “A little bit…” Lauren lolled her head to the side and smirked. Dinah sucked her breath in and looked down at her feet. “...Very jealous.”

Camila walked over and pulled Dinah over to where Lauren and she were standing. “It’s okay, sweetie. We still love you. Do you want me to get you a celebratory cookie for finally being a good girl?”

Dinah scowled while Lauren cracked a smile. “No. Cut this shit out. Absolutely not.”

“And we are, once again, getting off topic,” Lauren said bemusedly instead of sounding annoyed as she did before. “I take it you guys have small attention spans. So maybe we should make this quicker?”

“No,” Camila protested. “This is a serious conversation, and we should seriously make things more, uh, serious.”

On the other hand, Dinah was tired. She wanted to sleep instead of arguing for days about this. “Man, I’m tired. Can’t we all just agree we all gonna fuck so I can go the fuck home?” she complained. Camila let out a breathless laugh in reply. “I’m only half-kidding.”

Lauren sighed. “Okay, so… what’s the verdict? Are we okay with this? Do we need to set up ground rules?”

“I think communication should definitely be important. If we’re all going to do this, it’s important we’re letting each other know about our feelings,” Dinah noted, face faltering when she noticed Camila tense up a bit. “Maybe we can have bi-weekly check-ins? To see how we’re all doing and make sure everything’s all good?”

“I like that idea,” Lauren said. She turned to Camila expectantly. “Camz?”

“Yeah, I think I can manage that…” Camila’s face then lit up as an idea popped into her head. “Oh! I got one. To deal with jealousy ‘cause I got a bad feeling that it might be a problem. How about our individual dates should never exceed the number of group dates? For every individual date we go on, we gotta go on a group date to make up for it.”

“Hold on,” Lauren mumbled as she pulled out her phone. She squinted at the bright screen and opened up the notes application. “I’m gonna write this all down.”

Dinah had to sigh and roll her eyes. “She is so smart. How did I get a girl so smart?”

Lauren gently swatted Dinah’s shoulder, but her smile spoke differently. “Shut up, Dinah.” She began typing away at a rapid pace. “Okay, bi-weekly check-ins… one individual date equals one group date. Anything else?”

“Kissing,” Dinah mentioned, jaw dropping a bit when she realized she had forgotten that. “Oh my gosh, how does kissing with three people work? Do you just have two people kiss and have the other, like, kiss the side of their lips?”

“No, Dinah, that’s literally the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard,” Camila said.

“I ain’t seeing any other options!”

“I’ve never heard of a three-way kiss. That’s- wouldn’t the noses get in the way?”

“Well, there are such things as threesomes, right?”

“That’s completely different-”

Lauren groaned loudly, effectively breaking Dinah and Camila’s silly argument. “Both of you. Shut the fuck up.” Dinah assumed that meant she had an answer. “I don’t know? I guess you kiss one and then the other? Fewer germs are spread that way. Wait, no, that’s not right,” she mumbled awkwardly. “Our noses are gonna be awkwardly smushed together, so let’s just stick to not doing that.”

Dinah’s forehead creased in thought. “So what does the third person do then?”

“Hold both?” Camila suggested.

“Perfect.”

“All parties involved in kissing,” Lauren typed aloud. “What’s next?”

“I don’t want anyone to know about this besides people we trust,” Camila said. “You’re probably gonna say ‘No, duh.’ But this is different than telling people I’m gay, you know?”

Dinah figured that was a reasonable request and nodded. “Yeah. Just so we know, who do you trust with this?”

Camila didn’t even have to think before she said, “Normani.”

“Ally, I trust Ally,” Lauren added on.

Camila let out a soft chuckle. “Oh, of course, Ally. Anyone else?”

“Ashley, because she won’t care,” Lauren said. “Same with Harry.”

Camila looked hesitant and bowed her head. “Ah… I don’t really know Ashley all that well. Harry might be okay, but I definitely don’t want to tell him or any of the boys right away.”

“I’m telling my sister, Naki,” Dinah said quickly, remembering the promise she made to her sister before she left. If any “new” developments occurred, she would inform her big sister right away. Camila raised a brow in response. “I promised I would if things change. She doesn’t care. She knows I’m gay.”

Lauren gave Camila a reassuring look. Camila sighed and shrugged. “Alright. It’s not like I’ll see Naki often.”

“Okay… is that all? Any other rules?” Lauren asked once again.

Camila nodded. “I think so. We can come up with other things later, right?”

“Obviously,” Lauren said with a grin.

Dinah had to laugh at how weird this situation was. Only in a small town, right? In a church where God was watching, and Pastor Hernandez would die on the spot if he knew what was going on. Only in a small freaking town. “This is truly ironic. All three of us are gonna be in a relationship, but we all have jealous streaks that could really mess this up. Does that trouble me? Hell yeah. Am I gonna probably slap myself a few months later saying I’m a dumbass? Hell yeah. But am I still doing it? Hell yeah,” she made each “hell yeah” a little more stressed as she talked, but there was still a big grin on her face.

Camila laughed along with her while Lauren rolled her eyes. “Dinah? The mood is the same.”

“If we fall, we’ll fall together,” Lauren added.

“Group hug?” Dinah outstretched her arms towards them and smiled widely. Camila grinned in reply, bouncing over to her and clinging to her left side like a koala. Lauren sighed contently and followed after her, hugging Dinah’s other side. Lauren rested her head on Dinah’s shoulder while Camila pressed her forehead to Lauren’s arm while resting her head on Dinah’s chest. Dinah placed her chin on top of the two girls’ heads.

This was exactly how things should have gone in the beginning, but Dinah would go through it all again just to get to this point. It was so worth it.

* * *

“Dinah Jane.”

Dinah was in a crowded cafeteria, impatiently waiting for some orange chicken, but she could still hear Normani’s voice as clear as day. She chuckled and turned around. “What’s up, Mani?” she greeted as she gave her best friend a side hug.

Normani returned the hug with an eye roll. “Nothing much. I just feel like I haven’t seen you lately. Are you cheating on me?”

“Me? Why, I’d never cheat!” Dinah replied before she remembered that she actually did cheat, except it wasn’t really cheating. (Except it totally was.) But everything worked out, so Dinah didn’t see an issue with it. Sure, sometimes Lauren would get a long look each time Camila and Dinah interacted with each other. But since they had all gotten together, Camila and Dinah agreed that they shouldn’t have any separate dates with each other until Lauren felt comfortable enough with them. It was just a precaution, but they were very determined to gain Lauren’s trust back.

Dinah felt like she could confidently say that they were succeeding. Lauren sure didn’t act like she was scarred. If anything, she was happiest Dinah had ever seen her. And if Lauren was happy, Dinah was over the moon.

“Right, of course,” Normani chuckled. “What happened to ‘Operation: Make Camren So Mad’?”

“We don’t need it anymore,” Dinah said truthfully as the lunch lady dumped the orange chicken on her tray. “Everything’s all good now.”

Normani shrugged. “I wish… Mila and I still don’t hang out that much. Your problem was fixed before mine, and you guys are all good now… right? There’s no point.”

“Stop it,” Dinah urged. “Y’all can fix this. I can purposely decline plans with her so y’all can hang out.”

“You’d do that for me?”

“Totally and absolutely, Normani Kordei.” Dinah grinned and bopped her nose. Normani rolled her eyes and then burst out into a childish giggle. Her laugh died down when Normani suddenly glanced over Dinah’s shoulder. Her face contorted in perplexion. “They’re staring at me.”

“Who?”

“Try and guess.”

Dinah turned around only to find Camila quickly whipping her head back around and Lauren bowing her head. _So inconspicuous,_ she thought. She chuckled. “I wonder what their deal is.”

Normani shook her head. “You know exactly what they are. Jealous. What else would they be?”

Dinah shrugged her shoulders. “Uh, needy? Bored? Stalkerish?” She sighed as she picked up a chocolate milk. There’s no reason for them to be jealous. You’re Normani.” Normani’s brow quirked upwards. “No, I didn’t mean like that- We’re just- friends,” she stuttered.

“You’re adorable,” her best friend said with a sigh as she linked arms with Dinah. The two of them walked together, laughing to themselves before taking a seat at the circular table where the rest of their friends were. Niall and Harry were both working on their homework. It was more like Niall was copying down everything Harry wrote. Louis was on his phone while Ally rambled aimlessly about something or someone; she was talking so fast no one could hear or understand her. Lauren clearly spaced out. Although, Camila was doing an excellent job pretending. “What’s up y’all?” Normani greeted as she put her tray down next to Ally and ruffled her hair. “The prettiest girl in the school has arrived.”

Lauren snapped out of her trance and blinked. “Oh! Hi, Mani.” She turned to Dinah and grinned. “Dinah, come sit next to meeee,” she whined.

“You sure?” Dinah asked, gaze shifting to Camila. Camila gave her a reassuring nod. There was a lot of asking for permission in their relationship, but Dinah wanted to be safe rather than sorry. She pulled out the chair next to Lauren and took a seat. “Alright, so what’s going on in y’all’s life? I feel so out of the loop.”

“I miss New Jersey,” Louis admitted.

“What? You wanna leave all of us cool people?” Harry sputtered. “That’s cold, Lou.”

“I’m sure it’s warmer here than it is in New Jersey,” Niall said in agreement. His face fell slightly. “Oh, you meant… yeah. I’m gonna shut up.”

Louis shrugged. “He isn’t wrong though. It snows up there, and I hate snow. It’s terrible.”

“You Yanks and your snow,” Dinah grumbled. “How do y’all do it? I ain’t ever seen snow, but I swear to God if it lands here I’m moving to Mexico.”

“Has it ever snowed in Texas?” Louis asked.

“It snowed in Houston last month,” Normani pointed out. “It was, like, max 4 inches.”

And that immediately caused Louis to scoff and roll his eyes, of course, it would. “4 inches? You are all a bunch of babies. That can be shoveled up in two seconds flat!”

All the native Texans gave each other incredulous looks before looking back at Louis. A chorus of negative statements erupted in disagreement. Snow was probably the devil’s will, sent to curse Texas because everyone’s stupid.

Louis shrugged and went back to his phone. “Sheesh, tough crowd.”

“I’m trying to bring back the spring musical this semester!” Ally changed the topic. Oh, sweet, innocent Ally. “I think y’all should join because y’all are amazing singers!”

Lauren burst out laughing. “Me? In a costume? Singing show tunes? I don’t think so.”

“Oh, come on, Lo,” Camila said with a pout. “It sounds fun. I _love_ musicals.” She sighed dreamily. “Imagine if this show brought the whole town together, and it’s a superb way to say goodbye to the seniors…” Her face fell slightly at that. Dinah completely understood how she was feeling. Honestly, if she never skipped a grade, Dinah would be torn up every single day over Lauren leaving her. However, things were different now. Lauren and Dinah both had reasons to stay in Silver; that reason was Camila.

She pushed her thoughts to the back of her mind and propped her elbows up onto the table. “I’d love to see you on stage showing off that pretty voice of yours _and_ making a fool out of yourself.” Dinah’s comment did nothing except gain herself an elbow to the ribs by Lauren Jauregui. “Oh, Jesus, you punch really fucking hard.”

Harry, now clearly interested in the conversation, raised a brow. “Really? All the good musicals would make our dear old Pastor Hernandez faint. According to them, _RENT_ is gay propaganda, _Chicago_ is sinful in all sorts of ways, and _Heathers_? Jesus shit, where do I even start with that-”

“Oh, Lord, no!” Ally interrupted quickly. “I don’t think they even make _any_ of those musicals adapted for high school. I’m talking about musicals like _Beauty and the Beast, The Little Mermaid, Into the Woods_ …”

“Yes!” Camila bounced to her feet excitedly. “I love _Into the Woods!_ The music, the story, plus, there are so many roles! Everyone can play a part.”

“With that attitude, the whole high school will be forced to participate,” Lauren muttered in Dinah’s ear.

Dinah, on the other hand, had no clue what everyone was talking about. “ _Into the Woods_ … wasn’t that a movie with Meryl Streep? They made a musical about a movie like what _Shrek_ did?”

Camila gasped so loudly that she sounded like she was vacuuming a whole gallon of air with her mouth. She flew out of her chair and pointed at Dinah accusingly. “The disgrace! The horror! Dinah, are you serious?”

“Uh, yes?” Dinah chuckled nervously.

“This is a crime,” Camila stated. “Lauren, tell Dinah that this is unacceptable!” she ordered.

Dinah rolled her eyes and looked over at Lauren. “Lauser, don’t take her side. This is bullshit. I ain’t mad at her because she sucks at _Call of Duty_!”

“Dinah, that’s mean!”

Lauren groaned and rolled her eyes. “Oh my God, you two, stop acting like children. You’re making everyone uncomfortable at our table. Don’t you see?” She gestured to their friends. Only Normani and Ally seemed interested in their conversation. Louis had gone back on his phone, and Niall and Harry went back to work. Dinah giggled quietly while Camila sat back down with an amused smile. Lauren let out an exasperated sigh. “Seriously, boys? Y’all got the attention span of a nut.”

Harry shrugged and looked up from his notebook. “Do you ever notice that those girls always do that? They disappear into their own little world, and all we can do is stare and watch? Usually, trios are the ones that leave someone in their trio out. This trio leaves _everyone_ out.” He laughed and ran a hand through his hair. “Three’s a crowd, except if you’re Camila, Lauren, and Dinah.”

Lauren rolled her eyes. “Fuck off. If you were really that ticked off, you woulda said something,” she scoffed. She gestured to Dinah and Camila. “Also, we are friendship goals, so I think the fuck not. Y’all still have the attention span of a nut.”

“Sorry,” Louis apologized. “I stopped listening to anything you guys said after that snow thing.”

“And I’m not interested in musicals. Or Dinah not being well-versed in musicals,” Niall agreed.

“Wait, musicals!? I love musicals! I used to see so many Broadway shows!” Louis exclaimed.

Normani huffed and raised a skeptical brow. “Oh, so _now_ he’s interested in the conversation?” She thwacked Louis on the side. “Why ain’t I surprised the Yank saw Broadway shows.”

“Why are you guys calling me a Yank?” Louis asked uncertainly.

Niall opened his mouth to say something, but Ally beat him to it, “All northerners are called Yanks because, you know, it’s short for Yankee. And I’m sure you’re familiar with that,” she explained.

“Ohhhh. Right. I knew that.”

Dinah grinned. “Stupid ass boy,” she muttered under her breath.

“Cut it out, babe,” Lauren muttered, but even if the order was harsh, the pet name still made her heart flutter. She wished she could kiss her girlfriend right there. Both of them, actually. That would be _really_ nice. Instead, she slung her arm over Lauren’s shoulder and then gently squeezed Camila’s bicep. Two touches in one attempt; thank God she had long arms. She retracted her arm and turned her attention back to the table where Ally and Louis were both discussing their favorite musical.

“Hands down _Billy Elliott,_ ” Louis said. “I wish we could do that, but I love _Into the Woods._ Count me in if you’re going for it. Will you direct it too?

Ally shook her head with a small shrug. “No, my pa will probably want to do it. I want to audition myself.”

“You better not get a lead just because you’re the pastor’s daughter, or there will be consequences, Ally,” Normani threatened teasingly. Ally pouted, and Dinah swore she saw Normani melt on the spot.

 _Jesus Christ, they’re so in love,_ Dinah thought. _They’re cuter than we are. We all better step our game up._

“Not if I get a lead first,” Camila joined in on the banter. “And Dinah and Lauren are auditioning too.”

Dinah was quick to protest. “Absolutely not! They don’t make roles for Polynesians.”

Lauren nodded vigorously at Dinah’s statement. “Yup. I ain’t going on stage and singing show tunes in front of these clowns at this school. No way.”

Her girlfriend sighed, frowning deeply at Dinah and Lauren. “You’re both gonna do it. You know why? Because you know I want to, and you’d hate to make _me_ sad,” she reasoned. Camila pouted and made puppy dog eyes. “Please?”

Dinah let out a long sigh because she was a sucker for Camila. Always. “Fine. I’ll think about it,” she relented. “Laur?”

“Me too, I guess,” Lauren grumbled, clearly harboring the same opinion as Dinah.

Camila broke out into a grin and clapped excitedly. “Yay! You guys are the best.”

“Aww, ain’t this touching?” Normani cooed. “I think I might be sick. Y’all are sugary sweet like a gumdrop.” Her forehead creased as her nose crinkled in disgust. “I hate gumdrops.”

“Ain’t we?” Lauren agreed with a big, chummy grin. “I think we’re the best friend group at Harrison High. No offense to Ariana and her goonies.” Dinah looked over her shoulder to look at the cheerleaders’ table. It was still as bitter and grumpy as ever. Those popular girls really needed to loosen up.

“But that’s Normani and I… the left and right hand of the captain…” Camila trailed off in confusion. Oh, right, Dinah and her friends basically stole Normani and Camila away from Ariana. Oops!

It was amazing how well the eight of them got along, even if they tended to split off into two groups of three and a group of two. It may have caused a rift in the band even. The whole promise of staying together when they go to Nashville didn’t seem as inviting anymore. Of course, she still wanted to go. Wherever Lauren went, Dinah would follow. If they still wanted to sing, they would make an awesome duo. Or if they really wanted a substantial job, they could take classes at a community college before transferring to an actual university. The future was so far ahead of them; it was only January.

She didn’t have all the time in the world, but she had eight whole months including summer break to figure it out. Plus with the two best girlfriends she could ever ask for at her side, Dinah felt invincible. Correction: she _was_ invincible with them at her side.

And for the first time in what felt like forever, Dinah was happy with every single aspect of her life. She lost her mama, but she gained two lovers in place, and those girls would _never_ hurt her, or hit her, or make her feel like a complete piece of shit. Her mama couldn’t touch her anymore. Nobody could hurt her anymore. She was unstoppable, free, loved, cared for, and those were constant feelings too. If every waking moment felt like this, she never wanted to go to sleep again.

She exhaled, took a bite of her orange chicken, and smiled widely.

_Perfect._

* * *

The sun always set a lot earlier in the winter, which meant nights became colder and darker quicker. More specifically, Dinah should have thought this through more. She had a Patagonia sweater on to protect her from Texas’ harsh (in her opinion) winter. Camila was clinging onto her for dear life as Dinah readjusted her girlfriend on her back once more. As soon as Dinah began climbing up the only hill within a ten-mile radius, known as Dinah and Lauren’s _special_ place. Taking Camila here was long overdue.

“Why do I have to look down again, babe? I know I’m going up the famous hill,” Camila huffed. “And where is Lauren?”

“Right behind you, Camz,” Lauren’s voice came from behind Dinah. “I was just checking to see if anyone saw us. I climbed on the porch and looked in through the windows like a super-secret spy.” She burst out giggling, causing Dinah’s heart to swell. “Mama Hansen’s in the kitchen and everyone else seems to be doing their own thing. We’re good.”

“I already had dinner,” Dinah said. “Thanks again to Lauren who offered a free Dinah Jane special for sexual favors.”

Lauren giggled again. “It was _so_ worth it.”

“Again,” Camila scoffed, “why wasn’t I invited?”

“Because you didn’t offer me a Dinah Jane special,” Dinah replied. Camila exhaled annoyedly. “Don’t worry, baby. There will be plenty of opportunities to receive sexual favors from me later,” the blonde replied. “And Lauren can watch!”

She wasn’t sure if Lauren’s lack of response meant she was okay with it or she was against it. Dinah couldn’t exactly see her expression because she was too busy climbing the hill with a girl on her back. Camila nuzzled Dinah’s neck and planted a kiss at her pulse point. That caused Dinah to stumble a bit, but she managed to keep Camila upright.

“It’s a lot harder carrying Mila than I thought,” Dinah said a little breathlessly.

“Want me to try, baby?” Lauren suggested. “I’ve carried Camila before. Like this one time, we went to that creek off of Farm to Market Road 779. She didn’t wanna get in the water, so I opened the door to my truck and carried her out like a sack of potatoes,” Lauren recalled with a soft laugh. “She kept smacking my ass and demanding to put me down, but I just threw her in.”

“With her clothes on!?” Dinah gasped. “Lauren, you monster!”

“No, no, no,” Camila said quickly. “I had my bikini on. It was hot as balls out, and Lauren’s AC wasn’t working for some reason, so I literally took my clothes off and sat there in my swimsuit.”

Lauren’s cheeks flushed even in the setting sun. “I… uh… I was a little distracted, but that was it. I didn’t drive 90 on the highway like _someone_ would.”

Dinah shrugged, pretending Lauren was talking about someone else.

Camila sighed. “I can’t wait for it to be spring or summer again. I’m tired of it being in the 40s and 50s. It’s _so_ cold.” She shivered as she clutched tightly onto Dinah. “Brr. Did anyone bring blankets up here?”

“I told you to bring a hat, Camz,” Lauren said, gesturing to the gray stocking hat on her head. “But yes, I got blankets from Dinah’s room and some of her sweatshirts just in case.”

“And you wanted to try and carry Camila. Sure, babe, get my clothes dirty _and_ carry our girlfriend at the same time. You ain’t all that, Jauregui.”

“Woah, what side of the bed did you wake up on? The grumpy or the even more grumpy side?” Lauren quipped.

Dinah whined. “Milaaa, get her to stop.”

“I can’t believe Lauren’s supposed to be an adult in June,” was the only thing Camila said in reply. That was enough to shut Lauren’s entitled mouth up.

Eventually, Dinah reached the top of the hill and sighed in exhaustion. At least the sun was still up. She smiled contently and gently let Camila slide off her back. Maybe she should’ve told her that she was going to let her down because Camila squeaked in surprise, but Dinah figured that Camila was a big girl. She could handle a little dirt.

The brunette sighed as she got back up on her feet. “Holy mackerel,” Camila breathed out. Dinah turned around to see what was up and ended up seeing probably the prettiest thing ever. Camila facing the sunset, staring out into the vast flatlands around her. “You weren’t kidding about the view,” she continued breathlessly. She pointed to the church’s steeple. “There it is, the Baptist church. The tallest building in town… I’m surprised I can’t see the hill from there.”

“Nobody bothers to look,” Dinah said with a chuckle. “Nobody wants to come here. We shoot our trespassers.”

Lauren coughed. “Wait, don’t tell me you got that shotgun up here still?” Dinah shrugged in reply. She could neither confirm or deny that it was there, hidden in one of the tree trunks. Actually, she totally forgot if she did or not. A dumb ol’ shotgun was the least of her worries. Lauren swore under her breath and began frantically searching the trees.

Dinah laughed and rolled her eyes. “She’s paranoid,” she remarked to Camila. “Paranoid as always.”

“I can see the Silver Mine too… Just over there.” Camila pointed at the row of two-story houses on the opposite side of town, away from the church. There’s my house, fourth from the left.”

The blonde laughed and came up behind Camila, wrapping her arms around her waist. “You know the town’s geography well. I try not to look out there when I’m here. It’s just a reminder of how shitty my life is.”

“Well, what about now? Is it that bad now?” Camila inquired.

Dinah shook her head. “No. Not at all.” She sighed contently. “I’m such a sappy shit now. Being in love and open about it is a weird experience. Sophomore year me would faint.”

“I think sophomore year me would faint too,” Camila agreed. “But because I’m not dating Shawn Mendes, and I actually got the girl.”

“Both of the girls,” Dinah corrected.

Camila smiled, spinning around in Dinah’s arms. “Right. Almost forgot about you.” Dinah scowled in protest, but Camila stood on her toes to kiss her gently. “Stop scowling. You’ll get wrinkles,” she warned.

“I already look thirty. Why not look older?” Dinah quipped as she leaned down to kiss the top of Camila’s head. Wow, she was so unbelievably soft that it was kind of disgusting.

“I didn’t see a shotgun. That’s good,” Lauren said, wiping her hands from the dirt as she returned to Camila and Dinah. “But I did find-” She stopped mid-sentence. Dinah immediately wanted to jump apart because, shit, they weren’t supposed to act as close until Lauren trusted them again. She searched Lauren’s features for any kind of discomfort, but instead, she looked happy. Like overly happy that it sort of made Dinah nervous. “Wow.” She grinned. “You guys are unbelievably adorable,” she noted.

“Oh, stop it,” Dinah said with an eye-roll.

Camila gently nudged Dinah’s shoulder. “No, she’s right. We _are_ unbelievably adorable,” she boasted.

“Okay, guys, seriously… I think y’all wanna see this,” Lauren reiterated. “Dinah, specifically,” she said with a wink.

Dinah tensed as Lauren grabbed Dinah and Camila’s hands, pulling them off in the direction of the north end of the hill. She _really_ didn’t like the mischievous look on Lauren’s face. She prayed that it wasn’t what she thought it was because that would be disastrous.

“I didn’t find a shotgun, but I did find something more interesting…” Lauren trailed off and pointed at a tree with a large carving in it.

_DJH_

_+_

_LMJ_

“Oh my fucking God, kill me now,” Dinah groaned without a second thought, burying her head in her hands. “Seriously!? I was like fifteen when I carved this. I was really stupid.”

Lauren and Camila both burst out laughing while Dinah blubbered in embarrassment.

“Guyysss,” she whined. “Stop. It’s not that funny. Seriously.”

“Nah,” Lauren disagreed. “This is really hilarious. I had no idea you were such a sap. Pun intended.” She crossed her arms as she examined the carving. “I’m just surprised I didn’t see this sooner.”

“Maybe because you were too busy fawning over me,” Camila suggested boastfully.

Dinah nodded. “That was exactly why, so I knew I could do whatever I wanted. She’s an oblivious, dumb a-hole.”

Lauren stuck her middle finger up. “Hey, that is _not_ true. Screw you, Dinah.” She crossed her arms and turned away from Dinah. Dinah sighed, knowing Lauren was being a stubborn brat again and spun her around. “Wha-” She didn’t let her finish and crashed their lips together, cupping her cheek lovingly.

She pulled away and wiped her mouth. “Still love you though,” Dinah said proudly. She swore under her breath, immediately forgetting that she was supposed to include Camila in that kiss. Her gaze moved to see what the brunette’s reaction was: a wide smile and a glint in her eyes. Okay, maybe they didn’t have to enforce that rule in the contract. Not all kissing had to include everyone.

“I love you too,” Lauren said, still in a slight daze. She turned back to the tree and sighed. “But I think this tree could be upgraded… there’s something missing.”

“A birdhouse,” Camila concluded. “It’s missing a birdhouse.” Lauren turned to Camila and shook her head with an amused grin. “Ohhh. My initials, right?”

Dinah shrugged indifferently. “I mean, if you really want me to, I’ll carve yours in too. I just don’t have a knife with-” She didn’t finish her sentence because Lauren was already reaching into her pocket and pulling out a swiss army knife. She handed it over with a smile. Dinah chuckled and took it from her hand. “Correction: I do have a knife with me. What are your initials?”

“KCC,” Camila said.

_Wait, what!?_

“KCC,” Dinah repeated, brows furrowing in confusion. “That doesn’t sound right. Am I going crazy?” she asked.

Camila chuckled. “Maybe, but yeah. Those are my initials. KCC. Karla Camila Cabello.”

“Your name is Karla!?”

Lauren rolled her eyes and groaned. “Oh my God, Dinah, are you dumb? Yes! Her actual name is Karla, and she goes by Camila. I thought everyone knew this. She went by Karla in elementary school.”

“No, she didn’t ‘cause I would’ve remembered that,” Dinah argued. “We had kindergarten together!”

“You killed my Barbie doll, asshat!” Camila shot back. “Now, you don’t even know my name? Lauren, we’re breaking up with her,” she scoffed, sauntering to Lauren’s side. She pulled the green-eyed girl into a hug and rested her head on her shoulder. “I can’t believe Dinah would do this to me. The nerve!”

“I’m sorry! Oh my God, it’s not that big of a deal!” Dinah cried out frustratedly.

Lauren had a lopsided grin as she looked at Camila amusedly. “You’re so dramatic that’s more adorable than annoying.” She pinched Camila’s cheeks, ignoring the younger girl’s annoyed protests. “See? Look at our baby,” she cooed.

Dinah had to admit that Camila was adorable and seeing Lauren fawn over her was doubling the cuteness. She sighed dreamily. “Yeah. You both are great.” She flicked the knife open and knelt down by the tree to begin carving Camila’s initials into the tree. Behind her, Camila and Lauren both conversed, and at one point, she swore she heard Lauren protest as Camila sat on her lap. Dinah couldn’t contain her smile.

“I can’t believe I’m here, Camz,” Lauren said. “I feel like I’m dreaming, you know?”

“Totally,” Camila agreed. “And if it is a dream, please don’t wake me up.”

“I’m just… I’m so happy your car broke down on the highway. I would’ve never mustered the courage to talk to you. I can’t believe you even liked me back,” Lauren continued. “You’re so… God, I don’t even know. You make me feel like I can do anything. I love you so fucking much.”

“Laur, I feel the exact same way. I love you too, more than I can even put into words.”

Intense kissing noises and then Lauren’s giggle as Dinah heard a loud thud. “Stop it, Camz. That tickles.” Dinah raised both of her brows as she finished perfecting the final ‘C’.

“And I am _done_ ,” Dinah said finally as she got to her feet and spun around. She laughed softly when Camila and Lauren were tangled up in each other’s arms on the cold ground. A part of her, the jealous part, fumed, but the rational part reminded her that this was the gayest thing she had ever laid her eyes on. “Oh, I see how it is. None for Dinah Jane. I just carved a tree for y’all!”

“Move. I wanna see,” Lauren ordered from under Camila.

Dinah stepped out of the way.

_DJH_

_+_

_LMJ_

_+_

_KCC_

“I like this version a whole lot better,” Camila remarked.

“Oh, yeah, me too,” Lauren agreed.

“Me three?” Dinah added on.

Camila crawled off of Lauren and beckoned for Dinah to join them. Dinah plopped down in between the two girls and rested her head on the ground as she looked up at the sky. Camila laid down next to her and curled into her side, pulling Dinah’s arm over her petite frame. Lauren eventually joined them on the ground, curling slightly into Dinah. She made sure to move her arm so Lauren could comfortably snuggle into her. Lauren draped her arm over Dinah’s chest and stroked Camila’s hair.

“Thank you guys,” Lauren said softly. “For putting up with my bullshit. We’re all here, and I never thought we would get to this point. I never _imagined_ this in my wildest dreams, but you two… God, I can’t stop saying it. You both make me so happy. I love you both so, so much.” She exhaled softly, meeting Dinah’s gaze. “Thank you for not giving up on me, Dinah.” She tilted her head slightly so she was looking at Camila. “Thank you for being unbelievably understanding, Camila.”

Camila laughed breathlessly. “No, thank _you_ for giving me more chances, and I mean every chance you gave me. Especially when Dinah and I went behind your back. I probably don’t deserve it, but I appreciate your forgiving and patient nature.” She nudged Dinah softly. “Thanks for everything too, China. I may not be at the loving stage yet, but being around you makes it hard not to fall in love with you.”

“I can’t believe how sentimental y’all are getting,” Dinah remarked. “But fine, I’ll join the party. Thanks for stealing my girl, Walz. You made her happy and me angry, but it brought me to you so I guess it all worked out.” Camila laughed and shrugged, feigning indifference. “And thanks for finally getting your head out of your ass, I really appreciate it, Lauser,” she added on. “Love you, bish.”

They laughed and talked for the rest of the night about anything and everything. Dreams, the future, ridiculous conspiracy theories that Dinah and Lauren got so into that Camila had to dial it back a bit, but everything was alright.

Dinah always thought that happy endings only came in fairy tales and never in a real-life scenario. She figured eternal misery was meant for her once she knew she had hit rock bottom. She had grown so much in the past month that she could hardly recognize herself. Once she stopped carrying her emotional baggage, she felt like a new woman.

Dinah used to be unconcerned with her life. All her actions would lead to mostly negative consequences, but she just lived and learned and moved on. Some decisions made should have been reviewed a few times: coming out to her mom and kissing Camila behind Lauren’s back were the main ones, but her imprudence was always a flaw.

She just wondered if she made a good decision, getting involved with a girl buried in her thoughts.

No, not Lauren. Camila.

Lauren was easy to read, but Camila was a ticking time bomb of anxiety. Who knew when she was going to blow and lash out? Would Dinah be her next victim?

Camila wasn’t just a shy girl with a goofy smile. No, there was a lot more to her that Dinah and Lauren were missing. There was a reason Camila constantly kept her feelings quiet and bottled up inside. Dinah hoped that she and Lauren could fix that. They had to. They must.

**END OF PART TWO**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> funny how i start off the school year with the end of dinah's story. i was a little worried i wasn't going to wrap this up properly, but i think i did a decent job. thanks for bearing with me because wow shisdifhsid two-thirds of the book is done, and things are nowhere near from being done. camrenah may have gotten together, but there's still another story to tell, one we haven't gotten the full story from, and that's camila. i really, really loved writing things from dinah's perspective, so i'm kind of sad that her story arc is over. but i have SO much planned for camila, and i hope i'll get to expand on what it's like being in camila's shoes with her popularity and having her family's reputation rest on her shoulders.
> 
> once again, thank you guys for reading, commenting, and leaving kudos. i'm glad camrenah is finally getting the recognition it deserves. i appreciate everything! love y'all loads! <3


	21. twenty-one: your mind is an oasis, camila, but you only see a wasteland

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have been so busy lately. literally, if i'm not working on homework i'm finishing applications, essays, and trying to deal with the fact that my math teacher is such an asshat. so i'll try to keep the two week updates consistent? like i might post on a thursday or a saturday instead (like i did now) because writing and leisure is third on my priority list. bear with me the next few months, my friends.

**PART THREE: THE RETICENT**

Ariana Grande had good intentions but poor execution. For months, Camila begged Ariana to not throw her a seventeenth birthday party. Because the day that Camila Cabello would ever enjoy a party would be the day that she finally got bigger boobs, it just wasn’t going to happen.

“Ari, please,” Camila had urged. “I’m not going to enjoy this party. So why are you saying we should invite all these strangers to a party that I don’t even want?”

Ariana had laughed in her face and rolled her eyes. “Stop being so dramatic, Mila. I’ll let you invite your _girlfriend_ and Dinah.” Camila didn’t even bother trying to argue with her anymore because once her friend had her mind set on something, there was no stopping her.

The party had a nice set up though. Located off a side road near Lake Fork Marina & Motel. The cool night didn’t seem to affect the many partygoers. Thank the Lord for Patagonia sweaters, right? The football players were fishing down by the bank. Camila’s fellow cheerleaders were tending to the food tables or talking amongst themselves. Others were dancing under the stringed lanterns that hung from tree to tree to faux totem pole!? This place was uber weird.

Dinah and Lauren hadn’t shown up yet either. The party had been going on for at least an hour. Where the hell were they?

Camila wasn’t the jealous type. Okay, that was kind of a lie, but after she’d been dating Lauren and Dinah for almost two months she learned how to cope with that. She was okay with sharing, but sometimes she still felt left out. Dinah and Lauren had known each other for such a long time, and Camila only knew them as “those two musically talented weirdos that may or may not be lesbians”. Sure felt hard to fit in with such a tightly-knit pair. The problem wasn’t big enough for her to bring it up because she knew deep down that Dinah and Lauren loved her equally.

Actually, Dinah hadn’t actually said that she _loved_ her yet, but again, that wasn’t a big enough issue to bring up.

She smoothened out the wrinkles in her sundress and exhaled as she pulled her cardigan tighter around her. She really should have worn something warmer. A hat, a coat, anything. _But it doesn’t go with your outfit, and everything’s about appearances._ Big eye-roll. Camila knew she’d be running the school as soon as Ariana graduated, and she sure as heck wasn’t going to make it a dictatorship.

“Hey, Mila,” Normani greeted from behind her, scaring the living daylight out of her.

Camila squeaked and spun around. “Woah, Mani, I didn’t see you there!”

“That was kind of my intention,” she deadpanned.

“Oh, and I’m the queen of Antiva.”

Normani blinked slowly like her brain was trying to process a one-gigabyte file. Camila sighed awkwardly and tucked her hair behind her ear. “It was… ah, never mind. A fluke. I tried to sound funny and make a reference, but that fell flat.”

Her friend laughed. “Alright, Cabello. Tell me… how does it feel to be seventeen? You can now legally have sex with adults!”

Camila shoved her in annoyance and scowled. “Ew, Mani! Don’t be gross.”

“Sex is _not_ gross. Sex is beautiful. Embrace it for it is one of the most glorious things in nature,” Normani continued, outstretching her arms like she was an angel flying through the heavens. Very unfitting for a heaven-infested family.

Camila shrugged. “Yeah, yeah, but now you’re just making it weird. Not something I wanna be thinking about now that I can… shit, what else can I do at seventeen?”

“Work,” Normani said.

“I’ve never had to work a day in my life. Why would I do that?” Camila noticed how Normani’s face dropped slightly. Normani’s financial situation, right, great job Camila. She wasn’t rich. She worked in the diner! How could she fall into the same traps as her peers? “I mean, not that working is a bad thing…”

“No, no, you’re all good,” Normani reassured her, patting Camila on the back. “You should be proud of your rich-ass family. Y’all are a well-respected family even if the bigots think you should go back to Mexico. You ain’t even from Mexico! They know that if they try to open their racist mouths, they’re losing the only man who can bail ‘em out from fraud and lying on their taxes.”

Normani was right. As always. “Still doesn’t change the looks they give me,” she pointed out.

“They got nothing special going for them,” Normani replied as she began leading Camila back to the crowd of party-goers. “Now, can we stop the depressing shit and pretend that we actually like these people and this party?”

“Lauren and Dinah aren’t here,” Camila muttered.

“So?” Normani feigned offense. “ _I’m_ here!”

Camila rolled her eyes. “And now you sound a whole lot like Dinah Jane. Maybe you should stop hanging out with her so much.”

“Nuh uh. No way. I can’t believe I wasn’t friends with Dinah before! She’s fucking hilarious. Even when she’s not trying to be, there’s something about her dramatic timing and obnoxiousness that’s just… _Saturday Night Live_ worthy.”

“I think we’re _all_ funny.”

“Okay, Victoria Justice.”

“Hey, y’all!” Austin Mahone called from on top of a picnic table. Ugh. Who even invited that scumbag? Camila said specifically that she wanted people that she liked. Ariana never listened to her, ever. “Who wants to play some knockout?”

Most of the guys cheered in reply.

Camila smiled and turned to Normani. “You gonna join? Basketball is your forte.”

Normani thought about it for a moment, running her tongue over her lip. “It is, but you’re doing it too.” Camila opened her mouth to protest, but Normani had already grabbed her arm and was dragging her to the worn-down basketball court. Again, this place was really, really creepy. A bunch of people cheered when they saw Camila and Normani making their way to the court. “That’s right! Cheer for my girl! She’s gonna knock all y’all out!”

“Mani,” she hissed under her breath. “You’re embarrassing me.”

“Nuh uh,” Normani replied as they reached the back of the line. “You always embarrass yourself.”

Camila couldn’t argue with that. She was right.

A game of knockout was always intense when almost everyone competing was athletes. Literally, the only people who weren’t athletes were cheerleaders. It was just Normani, Camila, and Hailee. Hailee had an advantage because of her height. Normani had her basketball skills. Basically, Camila was screwed.

Nobody was getting out, which made Camila really, really nervous. When it was Normani and Camila’s turn, Normani set her a wink. “You’ll be fine. Nobody’s gonna laugh at the birthday girl.” And without even trying, Normani effortlessly made a free throw shot, leaving Camila to clutch her basketball nervously.

Normani passed the ball to Shawn. “Hey, Mila, don’t freak out. I’ll go easy on you,” Shawn said with a big grin.

Camila shrugged. “I don’t need your encouragement, but thanks,” she mumbled as she made her shot… and got it in. Her jaw dropped in surprise. “Oh my gosh… I can’t believe I pulled that off,” she said. She quickly ran to the back of the line where Normani was waiting for a high-five.

“Look at you go, girl!” Normani cheered. Camila moved to give her a high-five… and missed. Her friend rolled her eyes. “For someone who has no coordination, you can actually shoot a basketball.”

“I think it was pure luck.”

People started actually getting eliminated during the second and third rounds. Camila had to admit that it was hilarious when Austin missed so hard that the ball ended up tangled in some weeds right by Lake Fork. He spent his entire turn trying to get it ou and Hailee Steinfeld moved ahead.

“That’s not fair! She’s a girl. She ain’t supposed to beat me!” Austin shouted in protest.

“Oh, go put your big-boy pants on and admit that you just suck,” Ariana quipped, placing her hands on her hips. “Sexism is so 20th century.”

“Amen!” Normani called in agreement as she made another successful shot while Camila awkwardly dribbled the ball.

Once again, Camila was up against Shawn. “You know, I’m starting to think that you want to face me every single time. Miss me, Cabello?”

Camila shook her head and scoffed. “Yeah, no. Things were fun…” She bent her knees and grunted while she made a shot. Boom! Success “But I like being friends a whole lot better.” She winked. Ugh, gross. She never really was attracted to him in the first place. Plus, Shawn was not that great of a boyfriend. He was too self-absorbed. Camila liked it better when she didn’t have to be paraded around like a trophy girlfriend.

Shawn chuckled. “I’ll take being friend-zoned by Camila Cabello any day.” Camila raised her brows in disbelief and skipped back to the line.

Normani gave her an unamused look. “Are y’all seriously flirting?” she asked in a hushed tone.

She scoffed at the accusation. “What!? No!” Camila whispered. “You know I don’t even swing that way.”

“Just checking… because I think we have some late party-goers that might think otherwise.” She pointed to the headlights over by the other parked cars and two figures getting out. Could it be them? Camila didn’t want to get her hopes up. She shrugged in response to Normani and brought her attention back to the game.

In the end, it was just Shawn, Normani, and Camila left. All three of them had made minimal mistakes and somehow were not getting out. The game was going so fast that Camila couldn’t even keep up. But luck wasn’t on Normani’s side because she made that _one_ shot that missed so hard that it ended up in the weeds. Normani cursed loudly and bolted towards the lake while Camila was left with a wide open basket. Should she be cruel and get Normani out? No, that wasn’t nice. Normani deserved the win more than anyone.

She bit her lip and glanced up at the basket.

A familiar voice erupted from the spectators. “Oh my God, what are you doing, Walz? Sick ‘em!”

“Yeah, Camz! Fuck ‘em up!”

Dinah and Lauren. The two best, pardon her French, goddamn people in her entire life. The only two that she would trust her life with.

Camila broke out into a grin and threw the ball. The satisfying swish of the net made her sigh in relief. Normani dribbled the ball back with a determined look. “Hurry, Mila!” Oh! She was in the final two, and both Shawn and she had to keep shooting until one of them got out or, specifically one of them got two baskets before the other did.

Normani passed her ball to Shawn. Camila really hated working under pressure, and she had never gotten this far in a knockout game. “Oh my God, I’m gonna freaking pass out,” she muttered.

Shawn had already made a successful free throw. Camila cursed quietly and moved to make hers. A miss, of course. Nothing ever worked out for Camila Cabello. She ran after the ball and tried again. Another miss. She sighed frustratedly while both Shawn and she worked to get their balls in the basket.

“Can’t I just forfeit?” Camila cried in frustration.

Shawn shook his head. “No! Giving up isn’t cool.”

“You’re gonna win anyway,” Camila countered, making another miss. “Ugh! I hate this game.”

“No, I ain’t! See?” Shawn fired the ball right into the hoop. His lips pursed in surprise as he gave her a sheepish look. Everyone else was cheering and praising Shawn. Some of the guys came barreling out to tackle him into a hug. Camila almost wanted to roll her eyes because technically, this was _her_ party. They should be organizing a witch hunt for making the birthday girl lose. Her papa always told her that a proper Southern lady always was poised and diplomatic. Politely smile, nod, and then move on. Never let them see you weak.

Camila gave him a polite smile and clapped like she was one of those spectators at golf games. “I’m getting some punch,” she informed the crowd of party-goers on the court. No one even heard her. She shrugged almost apathetically and walked away.

The brunette didn’t even get to walk fifteen feet before she got tackled by a whirling blonde blur known as Dinah Jane Hansen. Camila yelped, nearly losing her balance. “Jesus Christ,” she cursed as Dinah held her steady.

“Woah, watch your step. You’re such a klutz,” Dinah complained.

“You almost knocked her over, shithead,” Lauren pointed out with a scowl. Her gaze moved to Camila and a warm smile broke out on her lips. “Happy Birthday, Camz.”

Camila’s heart did exactly twenty-five backflips. “Thanks, Lauren. I’m going to enjoy being the same age as you for about three months and three weeks,” she said jokingly.

Dinah grimaced. “Really? That’s what you’re happy about?”

“You haven’t even said Happy Birthday to me yet,” Camila pointed out.

“I did already!”

“Over text! And then you sent me a picture of the OxiClean guy’s head photoshopped onto John Cena’s body!”

The blonde sighed dreamily. “It was a work of art. It should be in The Louvre.”

Lauren snorted and leaned her head towards her so her lips were just near Camila’s ear. “She’s been like this all day,” she informed her. “A complete and total pain in the-”

“Hey!” Dinah shouted, crossing her arms over her chest. “I don’t appreciate my girlfriends talking smack about me to my face. Just wait until we get home.”

Girlfriends. Girlfriends. Girlfriends.

_Oh my God, she said it out loud, didn’t she? And loudly too?_

Camila felt that familiar panicky feeling that she got whenever Lauren or Dinah referred to them as anything more than friends in public. She could practically hear her own heartbeat, a steady rhythmic pattern that sounded like an ominous drum solo. Her gaze tore away from them and towards the basketball court.

_Was anyone looking? Did they see? Oh, please don’t tell me they saw! No, no, no. I can’t. Not on my birthday. Not now._

No one was looking.

“Mila?”

Camila’s eyes widened slightly as her attention was pulled back to her girlfriends. Both of them looked concerned. Great. Now her not-so-obvious freak out was completely obvious. The worst part was she totally knew that they knew what she was thinking. It was the same damn thing every time. Lauren and Dinah always had to deal with her stupid freakouts and thought she was totally insane. Camila wished there was a button she could press that would make her disintegrate. That would be very nice.

“Hey, Camila,” Lauren urged in that sweet, serene voice of hers. “Is everything okay?”

A pause. Camila reluctantly nodded. “I’m sorry. You know how I get…” she said sheepishly.

There were no angry looks, no disappointment. In fact, Dinah and Lauren only smiled. They got it, but why? Why couldn’t they actually be hurt by this? Why couldn’t they _get_ it?

“In all honesty, I don’t want to be here anymore,” Camila admitted. She was beyond glad she had an excuse to leave the party now. Sort of. “Can we go and do something else? Just us? Just the only people that matter?”

Lauren smiled and nodded. Dinah sighed in relief, making a loud “whew” sound. “Oh, hell yeah! Another minute in this circus and I would’ve thrown a tantrum. Like hardcore, dude.”

She threw one last look to her friends at the court over her shoulder and gestured for Lauren and Dinah to walk with her.

And that was why Camila Cabello loved Dinah Jane Hansen and Lauren Jauregui, they were the only people in this town that could read her like a full-on novel, even when Camila was so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t even know herself. They were just magic like that. Camila always appreciated a few magical miracles in her life.

* * *

“See, Dinah and I had this whole night planned out for just the three of us and make it the best birthday ever,” Lauren explained as they drove down Farm Road 17. Dinah was uncomfortably squashed in the back seat of the truck because she insisted that Camila sits in the passenger seat, but the back seat clearly wasn’t meant for a giant.

Camila laughed. “And what were your plans?”

“Dinner and a movie, specifically _Black Panther_. And then, to put it bluntly, we’d have some fun in Dinah’s bed.” Dinah snorted loudly. “I finally saved enough money to get us all tickets,” Lauren boasted. “Mani and Ally saw it together, and they said that it was really good.”

“Anything with Michael B. Jordan is going to be really good. That man is fine as hell,” Dinah said.

“I thought you were gay?” Lauren challenged. “Or are we not good enough for you, Dinah?”

Dinah rolled her eyes. “Shut the fuck up, Lauren. I’m allowed to think a guy’s hot but not actually be attracted to him. It’s like you peruse the menu and you don’t order, you know what I mean?”

“Peruse is such a big word,” Camila remarked as she pulled out Lauren’s glove compartment to _peruse_ Lauren’s CD collection. There was a new section created with sticky notes on the cases that said ‘LCD’. No, not Least Common Denominator. LCD stood for their names, obviously. Each CDs were albums or artists that they all liked or reminded them of each other. Camila managed to get some copies of those CDs for her car and Dinah had a playlist on her phone with all the albums on it.

Led Zeppelin? Nah, Dinah and Lauren just got her into them. Maren Morris? She didn’t really have any songs for late night driving that weren’t sad. Miranda Lambert? Maybe. Time to phone a friend. “Do you guys have any suggestions for what songs I should play?”

“Lorde,” Lauren said quickly.

“Seconded,” Dinah agreed.

Camila slid in _Pure Heroine_ and pressed play, smiling contently as “Tennis Court” started to play quietly in the background.

“Oh, man, look at the lake now! It’s so pretty,” Dinah gushed as they drove across the bridge. “The moonlight’s just reflecting off the water, and hey! There’s a pontoon boat out. Lake Fork is so big and pretty.”

Camila liked to agree, except her lake house was at Lake Tawakoni and was actually really nice. There was a huge backyard and a very nice dock with a gazebo at the end. Plus, the home was decorated with nice decorations that weren’t tacky and the wooden and stone walls gave a homey feel to the place. Normally, she took Normani to the big lake house with her parents. This year her parents were gonna let her go on her own and bring as many people as she wanted for spring break. She knew exactly who, her girlfriends, Normani, and Ally. It would be a perfect weekend getaway. A couples’ _and_ a friendship getaway. Camila couldn’t even wait for it.

She hadn’t even realized that she had spaced out during this when she heard her name in passing conversation between Lauren and Dinah. Camila blinked slowly, a small smile forming on her lips when she heard Lauren’s infectious laughter. She turned her head so she was looking out the window and sighed. Camila was very introverted compared to Lauren and Dinah, and she was more than content with spacing out in conversations while they talked amongst themselves. Sometimes she preferred listening to speaking anyway.

“Tired, Camz?” Lauren asked as she gently stroked Camila’s hair.

Camila nodded slowly and yawned. “Yeah, I had a long day.”

“Me too,” Dinah mumbled.”

“But you didn’t even do anything!” Lauren pointed out.

Dinah laughed. “Anything that involves getting out of bed is a long day for me.” She held her fist out for Camila to bump it. Camila turned around, rolled her eyes, and bumped her fist. “Boom.”

Lauren sighed. “I can’t believe I’m dating two lazy children.”

As they got into the Delta city limits, an idea popped in Camila’s head. It wasn’t that late. They could totally go see _Black Panther_ in the theater in Mineola and then get Dairy Queen after that. Their private, alone date was totally salvageable. “Babes,” Camila addressed both of her girlfriends. Lauren barely glanced over at Camila, and Dinah poked her head out from the backseat. “Why don’t we go see the movie now? It’s late so nobody will be in the theater, and we can totally make out.”

“As if I’m gonna let you guys interrupt the movie by shoving your tongue down my throat,” Lauren scoffed. “I’ve wanted to see this movie for a long ass time. I ain’t gonna let it be ruined.

“Fine.” Camila shrugged. “Dinah, wanna make out?”

Dinah cackled. “Sure thing, Walz.”

“You both are disgusting,” Lauren said with a scowl as they turned on to East Quitman Street before getting on Sinner’s Road. “But since Camz is the birthday girl, if she wants to make out, she can.”

“Thanks, Lolo,” Camila giggled.

Dinah grinned cheekily. “Yeah, thanks, Lauser. We’ll try not to be too loud.” She kissed Camila’s cheek and then moved to recline on the seat.

“I just don’t see the point of going to a movie just to make out,” Lauren explained. “Like you’re paying like ten dollars to go see a fine piece of cinema, a cultural icon actually. _Black Panther’s_ got so much critical acclaim, and you two would rather _pay_ to suck face in seats that aren’t meant for that! If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you two are on board with wasting my fucking money-”

“What’s she going on about now?” Dinah whispered in Camila’s ear from behind the front seat.

Camila shrugged. “Just let her go.”

“I don’t feel safe in this truck if she’s gonna keep making a big deal about everything. I can’t even imagine what’s gonna happen during midterm elections,” the blonde muttered.

“She’s already made campaign posters. I bet.”

Dinah sighed loudly, glancing back to the front seat. Lauren was _still_ talking. It was actually more like yelling, but neither of them were really paying attention to her.

“And she’s gonna notice we’re not listening to her passionate rant in…” Camila exhaled slowly. “Three… two… one…”

Lauren snapped her attention to the road to glare at them with one of those piercing stares that literally made time stop and then go back a few years. “Are you two even listening to me!?”

Dinah nodded. “Yeah, totally!” she said enthusiastically.

“Okay, then what did I just say?”

“You said, ‘Are you two even listening to me?’” Dinah deadpanned. Camila burst out laughing while Lauren’s nostrils flared. Sometimes she really couldn’t handle Dinah. That girl sure really knew how to push people to just bordering the breaking point.

Lauren gripped the wheel tightly and grimaced. “You’re lucky I ain’t gonna pull over and smack you ‘cause it’s too dark out.”

“Ooh, slap me, daddy,” Dinah cried out.

“For fuck’s sake,” Lauren seethed as she bared her teeth and turned back to the road.

Camila facepalmed and let out an exasperated sigh. As much as she also hated to admit, their relationship wasn’t picture perfect. Sure, they were all in love, but each of them brought their own problems to the table. Lauren got annoyed way too easily. When things were supposed to be serious, she tended to lash out and get extra upset for no reason. Also, she was really sensitive and hypocritical. A lot of things Lauren called out Dinah or Camila doing, Camila was pretty damn sure that Lauren had done them too. But neither Dinah or Camila had the guts to fight back against such a strong force. Dinah had the opposite problem. She never took anything seriously, and it got to the point where Camila wished Dinah wasn’t so childish. However, Dinah wasn’t very confrontational either. When she had a problem or concern, she tended to brush it off in fear that she would cause a fight. And Camila? Camila had her own problems, more than she was willing to admit. Unreliability, insecurity, and… anger. Yeah, she got mad. Punching walls and hitting things was how she coped with her anger because talking about things made her _vulnerable._ In a town where she’s on the pedestal, she couldn’t afford to show weakness.

It was all minor, stuff that they learned to cope with and make adjustments. Definitely not enough to break a relationship off.

“Guys, can we… not fight?” Camila asked timidly, visibly showing how uncomfortable she was. “This is really, really kind of stupid.”

“I’m sorry,” Lauren apologized immediately. “Everything’s all good, right, Dinah?”

Dinah snorted. “Everything was all good before you started getting bitchy, but alright…”

“You were the one acting like an actual child.”

“That’s just how I am, you know? Can’t change that-”

“Guys,” Camila chastised. “Seriously.”

Lauren bit her lip and nodded. “Sorry, Camz.” Camila had to laugh at how quickly Lauren let her anger go when Camila spoke.

She turned to look back at Dinah. “I’m sorry, Walz. Sorry, Lauren,” she mumbled.

“We’re good. It’s all good,” Lauren reassured everyone, but there was still an awkward feeling that Camila couldn’t put her finger on. Relationships weren’t always perfect. Camila had to stop getting discouraged over minor disagreements, but she still couldn’t help the fact that she wanted both of her girls to be happy constantly.

* * *

This theater was literally a joke. It only showed one movie per weekend and nobody ever showed up to the damn thing. That’s why they preferred drive-ins over actual theaters. The building was old too. A historic building that Mineola used for its high school’s prom while Silver had to use their gymnasium. Camila wasn’t sure which one was worse.

Camila stared at her reflection in the mirror and sighed. She excused herself to go to the bathroom while Lauren went to get tickets and God knows where Dinah went. She ran a hand through her dark tresses and ran her tongue over her lip. Oh, she just smeared her lipstick. Camila cursed silently and grabbed a paper towel to clean up the damage.

Speak of the devil herself, Dinah Jane just had to barge in then. “Mila? You in here? Taking a dump?” She quickly moved to hide her face because Dinah did _not_ need to see her looking like a mess with her ruined makeup. “Baby, why are you hiding your face? It’s just me.” Dinah gently grabbed Camila’s wrist and tilted her chin up. Camila’s gaze remained downcast as she bit the inside of her cheek. “What’s bothering you?”

“Nothing,” Camila said quickly. “Everything’s fine.”

“Walz, I can tell you’re lying.”

“No. I’m not lying,” Camila urged.

“Liar...” Dinah singsonged.

Camila gritted her teeth and clenched her fists. She had enough. If she kept pushing and pushing, Camila would explode. She had to control her anger. Breathe deep. What had Mani always told her? Smell the flowers; blow out the candles. Four times’ a charm.

Nah. Breathing took too much work.

“Dinah, stop it,” she snapped. Dinah’s jovial expression immediately dropped. “I said everything’s fine, so I mean everything’s fine.”

Dinah was silent (a very rare occurrence). She glanced down at her feet and then up at Camila, sucking her breath in. “This is about Lauren, ain’t it?”

Camila refused to respond.

“You don’t have to say anything at all, but I just wanna assure you that Lauren and I _never_ fight,” Dinah clarified.

“That’s bull. You guys literally fought in December,” Camila pointed out, clearly not having it with Dinah.

“Yeah. That was the second time out of two.”

“So?”

Dinah sighed agitatedly. “Jesus, Camila, can you just keep quiet for like two seconds so I can get my point across? It’s like talking to my mama.” Camila tensed up as she thought about how terrifying Mama Hansen was and the evil, evil things she had done to Dinah. The blonde immediately noticed this and shook her head. “Oh, no, wait, I didn’t mean it like that,” she protested. “Just hear me out, alright?”

Camila considered her for a second before realizing that yes, she should probably swallow her pride and listen to her.

“Lauren is a very serious person, alright? She likes structure and order. She likes having plans and knowing what happens when. Chaos really turns her off. Meanwhile, my life is chaos. Like pure chaos. My family is crazy. I’m crazy. But sometimes you gotta live things spontaneously, right? Lauren and I have always balanced each other out,” Dinah explained. She paused and furrowed her brows. “Say, do you remember the _Mayflower_ reenactment we did in like second grade?”

Camila pursed her lips in thought. She vaguely remembered spending three days in the school’s auditorium doing something with a big paper structure and being forced to dress like- Yep, she definitely remembered that. “Yeah. It wasn’t that memorable. Like at all. Hailee and I were both daughters. I think I was… uh…” She was really blanking out. “Elizabeth Tilley? She was Priscilla Mullins. Her name was so much prettier.” Dinah nodded slowly and shrugged. “Why do you ask?”

“I was just gonna use that as an example…” Dinah trailed off. “But holy crap, we were a bunch of rowdy kids. Jesus.”

Camila raised a brow. “Oh? How rowdy?”

“Well to start off, Austin Mahone nearly threw a fit when he found out Normani was playing the mayor’s wife. He said that she has to be a slave in order for it to be accurate and that she should be his slave.”

“Oh my God.”

“Welcome to Silver.”

“Yeah, no shit.”

Dinah laughed a little uncomfortably. “And then Ally took her role a little too seriously. She was the Hopkins wife, you know? The one that had a baby on the ship. Well, she _acted_ pregnant and everything. She always felt her little bump and told everyone how excited she was to be a mother. It was just _weird._ ”

Camila rolled her eyes. “It’s acting, Dinah. What did you expect?”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. But I’m getting to my point here, uh… Lauren played my mom. Susana Chilton and her daughter Mary Chilton. Now, I got all excited in my role because fuck yeah! I’m a kid I get to do what I want. I fooled around with Niall mostly, but Lauren did _not_ like that. She was like, ‘You gotta act like a proper _Mayflower_ lady’. And I was like, ‘You ain’t my real mama’.” Dinah exhaled and then let out a laugh. “She slapped me.”

If Camila was drinking a beverage, she would have spat it out right then. “Lauren slapped _you_?”

“It was a kiddie slap. It didn’t mean anything, but still, I knew she meant business,” Dinah clarified. “I just know now that when I go too far, I just gotta let her cool off. It takes no time at all before she’s back to her normal, gay self.” A pause. “Pun intended.”

Camila had to accept that Dinah knew Lauren longer. She knew her a lot better than Camila did, even if Camila had been dating Lauren longer than she had. A bond like theirs would always be impossible to compete with, but now Camila had a stronger sense of what was going on. Their relationship wasn’t perfect or problem-free, but Camila got a better idea of how Lauren acted.

“Thanks for clearing that up, Cheech,” Camila mumbled softly, pulling her girlfriend into a tight hug.

Dinah hugged her back and squeezed her gently before kissing her temple. “No problem, Chanch. Let’s go. We don’t wanna keep Lauren waiting.”

Camila and Dinah left the bathroom with their arms linked finding Lauren waiting for them while on her phone. She felt Dinah’s gaze on her, probably reminding her that things were good, but Camila was too focused on Lauren to care. As if she sensed them coming, Lauren shut her phone off and smiled at the pair. “Hello, babes. We all ready?”

“Yeah,” Camila said. Lauren moved to open the theater door for them, and Camila suddenly grabbed Lauren’s wrist. “Wait, uh, can I sit next to you?”

“I thought you wanted to make out with Dinah?” Lauren raised a perplexed brow.

“Not now,” Camila said and shook her head. “It’s date night.”

The smile on Lauren’s face could have illuminated a thousand dark skies with constellations. She took Camila’s hand in her own and followed her into the dark theater. Lauren led them to the middle row and had Camila go in first. She picked the third seat from the dead center. Camila was obviously the best girlfriend ever for having Lauren get the best seat in the house, and she should get a reward for that. On second thought, just because she did one thing right didn’t mean that she was all that great.

No, Camila knew that deep down Lauren and Dinah resented her. Who wouldn’t resent Camila Cabello? She had it all. Money, popularity, a vintage car… As much as she could claim to understand Dinah’s or Lauren’s struggles, she couldn’t. They were poor trash. Camila was born with a silver spoon in her mouth. Pun intended.

She could spoil them if she wanted to. That would be the perfect way to give back. What said “I love you” better than a fruit basket or a necklace? She could give them promise rings. Ohh. That’d be interesting, but Camila had only seen Lauren wear an actual string as a ring before.

She supposed she should just settle back into thinking she isn’t good enough.

“Jeekers Joseph,” Camila muttered.

“What?” Lauren asked and looked over at her.

Camila shrugged half-heartedly. “Nothing.” She glanced at the screen, which was playing previews. “Just getting in my head. As always.”

“And you know what I tell you when that happens, right?”

Camila exhaled a breath she didn’t know she was holding. She reached over to grab Lauren’s hand for some sort of comfort. Anything.

Lauren leaned in and brushed her lips against her earlobe. “It’s okay to regret. It’s okay to worry. It’s okay to have doubts. It’s okay to be self-critical. But take care not to cling to it like it’s a saving grace, or it’ll poison your soul.” Shivers went down her spine at the intensity of her spine. “Your mind is an oasis, Camila, but you only see a wasteland.”

Lauren was right. She was so darn right that Camila wanted to throw herself into Lauren’s arms and kiss the heck out of her. Instead, she opted to squeeze her hand and give her the biggest smile she had all night. “Thank you, Lauren.”

Her girlfriend grinned in reply and leaned in to kiss her before stopping halfway when a bunch of yellow projectiles hit her head. She whipped her head around to glare at Dinah who had a bowl of popcorn. “Leave some room for Jesus, you fucking nasties,” Dinah scoffed. “And I thought you were oh-so against making out in a movie theater, Lauser?”

“Tea,” Camila agreed.

Lauren rolled her eyes. “Oh my God. We were having a moment.”

“Okay, but why wasn’t I invited?”

“Because it was private.”

“Nah, bish, it was called excluding, and that’s a form of bullying,” Dinah said. “Want me to spell it for you? B-U-L-L-”

The screen changed to the Marvel logo, and Lauren held her finger to Dinah’s lips. “Hold that thought. It’s starting. Be quiet, Camz and the Village Smartass.”

Camila gasped. “I wasn’t even talking!”

“Put a sock in it! I don’t wanna hear either of you for this whole movie,” Lauren hissed. Camila rolled her eyes at her girlfriend’s antics and rested her head on Lauren’s shoulder. She noticed that Dinah did the same.

Camila sighed and turned her full attention to the screen, immersing herself in a world where she could be herself with the girls she loved and watch hot actors and actresses kick butt.


	22. twenty-two: we're always gonna stand up for you, no matter what

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: i love ariana grande she's such a sweetheart and she deserves the best  
> also me: make her a villainous bastard with small potential for a redemption arc.
> 
> oops. :)

Ariana Grande arguably had the biggest house in the Silver Mine because they always kept it super-duper clean. Their furniture was so evenly spaced out that there was enough room for three people to walk side by side in between the two couches in the living room. Ariana never threw parties. When your dad’s the sheriff, neighbors calling the cops on your own house was awkward as hell. Camila would know. Her mom was the neighbor that called the cops on every party in the area. That was why they went to Lake Fork most of the time. At least they’d be caught by the Delta sheriff or sometimes the Webster sheriff instead.

Camila sat in the middle of Ariana’s room, nose buried deep in _The Great Gatsby._ She was a little behind on the reading because all her free time was spent with her girlfriends or preparing for the SAT tests in the next month. Ariana actually made a _great_ study buddy ‘cause for once, she shut the hell up.

Ariana had her own English homework, which was reading _Pride and Prejudice_ and completing a packet. Unlike Camila, she seemed very, very frustrated.

“I thought this book was supposed to be legendary, iconic even,” Ariana huffed. “I saw the movie with Keira Knightley, but I still don’t understand anything. Theme of this chapter? I don’t know.”

“Uh, shouldn’t it be love? Social classes?” Camila suggested.

“That’s a motif, not a theme,” she corrected. “Theme is completely different.”

Camila blinked slowly, feeling like a ton of bricks dropped on her head. “So… I’ve got the meaning wrong this whole time?”

“Welcome to the real world, honey. It’s full of lies.”

“I have to annotate for symbols and themes,” Camila continued. “So in reality, I’ve been annotating for motifs?” she questioned.

Ariana chuckled. “Yeah. You have.” She placed a comforting hand on Camila’s shoulder and rubbed her back. “Don’t worry. Mr. King won’t crack down on you until next year because I thought the same thing! You’re totally ahead of the game now, Mila.”

“Like that helps me.”

“Ugh, why are you such a sourpuss? You need to get laid and fast.”

Camila had to roll her eyes as she closed her copy of _The Great Gatsby_. “What makes you say I’m not getting laid?”

“Uptight, easily annoyed…” Ariana shrugged her shoulders. “The symptoms are all there.”

Truthfully, it was Ariana that was annoying her, but Camila wouldn’t say that even if someone held a knife up to her throat. “Right…”

“You should get back with Shawn.”

Camila almost wanted to throw up. “Uh, no thanks. His ego’s bigger than his dick.”

Ariana gasped loudly. “Wait, hold on… Mila, you ain’t a virgin anymore? You’ve seen his dick?”

“Woah, no, no,” Camila interrupted quickly, holding her hand out as if to tell her to stop. “I’ve never slept with Shawn. Ever. That doesn’t mean I can’t tell how big a dick is from the tent he sprouts at pep rallies,” she remarked. “Trust me. There’s nothing there.”

“You’re lying,” Ariana said accusingly.

Camila raised both of her brows. “See for yourself if you’re so curious.”

“Okay, now I _am_ curious. You’re openly inviting me to sleep with your ex-man. What kind of crack are you on?”

 _If only you knew, Grande. If only you knew,_ she thought. Instead, she opened her book back up and laughed. “I don’t really care. We’re not together anymore. He can sleep with the whole town for all I care.”

Ariana gave her a disbelieving look and pursed her lips, but then her features softened. “Hmm. Alright.” She picked her book back up again. “Ask your smartass lesbo friends for the themes of the English homework.”

Camila scowled. Every single time Ariana referred to Dinah or Lauren as lesbos, dykes, or any derogatory or homophobic slur, she got extra upset. She could try and defend them all she wanted, but Ariana would still insist that there was “something wrong with those sapphic bitches”. Camila found it was easier to just stay silent. She wasn’t as cruel to Dinah because Dinah was a cheerleader, but Lauren got hammered with insults. “Hey,” she chastised. “Be nice.”

The brunette scoffed. “Why? They ain’t here to tell me otherwise.”

“You want help or what?”

It took the head cheerleader a moment to debate her options. Be stupid and fail English, or be stupid and pass English. Ariana thankfully took the latter. “Sorry. Now…” She flicked Camila’s forehead. “Go ask them, please.”

Camila sighed and pulled her phone out.

**Group Chat: that thing dinah does with her tongue ain’t gay**

**camila:** ew this chat name is ugly who changed it

**camila changed the chat’s name to ”no gay activity allowed”**

**china:** wtf walz it WAS ART

 **camila:** denim jeans pls

 **lolo:** DENIM JEANS

**china changed the chat’s name to “camila is gay”**

**camila:** its true but she shouldnt say it

 **camila:** btw im with ariana and she could see this

 **china:** SHIT

**china changed the chat’s name to “the only one probably gay in here is lauren”**

**lolo:** nice...

 **china:** <3

 **camila:** BACK TO WHAT I ORIGINALLY CAME HERE FOR

 **camila:** what are the themes for the english homework

 **lolo:** the seniors aren’t reading the great gatsby, camz.

 **camila:** YEAH NO SHIT IM ASKING FOR ARIANA

 **lolo:** social classes

 **china:** thats a motif

 **camila:** dang i was just about to say that

 **lolo:** OKAY THEN WHAT’S A THEME????

 **china:** prejudice prevents people from seeing others for who they are and instead focuses on assumptions made about them

 **lolo:** that was so smart and hot.

 **china:** thanks i try

 **camila:** oK SOUNDS GOOD TO ME

 **camila:** SEE U LADIEZ LATER

“So Dinah says that prejudice prevents people from seeing others for who they are and instead focuses on assumptions made about them,” Camila read out the text word for word.

Ariana hummed in approval. “Pretty smart for a farm girl. What about Jauregui?”

“She said a motif.”

“Oh… Disappointed but not surprised.”

Camila sighed loudly and shook her head in annoyance. “Shut up.”

“I would, but you know I’m right.”

Boy, if she didn’t shut the heck up. Camila was really getting irritated, and she prayed for a saving grace. Anything to get Ariana to stop talking nonsense. She bit her lip and looked back at her book, hoping that she could actually get something done instead of snapping at Harrison High’s queen.

And then? A gunshot.

Now, around Silver, gunshots only meant two things. One, some bastard was hunting too close to town. Two, some other bastard was practicing shooting guns. It was actually pretty appalling how easy someone could get a gun down South. In fact, Camila knew that most of the football had been shooting their dad’s rifles since they were nine and got their own when they were thirteen. Then again, Silver only had two confirmed homicides ever, and one of them was from a bar fight.

“Oh, I bet it’s the Hansens shooting again,” Ariana huffed as she got up and sauntered to the door that led to her balcony.

Camila rolled her eyes. “Dinah lives miles from here. If they did shoot, it’d be a lot fainter.” She hopped to her feet and stretched her arms. “This one sounded way too close.” She followed Ariana out to the balcony and found herself staring out at the Silver Mine. It was quiet. Dead silent. The only time the street was alive was during neighborhood barbecues or holiday celebrations. Most of the time, everyone kept to their idyllic homes.

Ariana sniffed and then exhaled. “I bet it’s nothing.”

Boom. Another gunshot. That sounded _way_ too close. Ariana glanced at Camila warily. Camila, on the other hand, knew exactly who was shooting. Austin Mahone. That dumb bastard had a shooting range in his own backyard ‘cause his dad was some venerable veteran. “It’s Austin,” she groaned. “I hate him. Why shoot now, pinhead?”

“Maybe you should go talk to him,” Ariana suggested with a sly smirk.

Camila shook her head. “Yeah? No thanks. He’s more likely to listen to you.”

“What if I told you… Shawn’s there?”

Camila squinted in the direction of the Mahone household. Sure enough, Shawn freaking Mendes was shooting too. _Jesus, what’s with boys and guns? It’s literally criminal and stupid. Grow the hell up._

An exasperated sigh escaped her lips. “What’d I just tell you, Ari? Shawn and I? Completely over.”

“But he would be a good boyfriend-”

“He isn’t!” Camila snapped, glaring right at Ariana. “He isn’t a good boyfriend, and I’m _not_ interested in him anymore.” Ariana’s eyes widened in complete surprise at Camila’s outburst,  but Camila wasn’t done yet. “Ariana… I thought we were supposed to be friends. If you were my friend, you wouldn’t force me to be with guys I don’t want to. Friends don’t control each other. They give each other advice, but… this isn’t okay.”

She didn’t know what to expect. Maybe deep down Ariana would finally show the soft, sweet side that she knew she had inside her. Back when they were kids when it didn’t matter if you were gay or straight or some other oddity, Ariana was so kind to her. With power came great responsibility. Once Ariana was made cheer captain of the junior cheer squad at Harrison in the sixth grade, Ariana changed completely. “You know... I’m only doing this to protect you,” Ariana said flatly, reaching over to grab Camila’s wrist firmly. “Everyone at Harrison thinks you’re a dyke.” She smiled bitterly. “And I’m really starting to believe it too.”

 _“Excuse me!?”_ Camila spat, jaw dropping in total shock. “What the hell is wrong with you, Ariana? Why would you even say that? Why do you _keep_ saying that?” Her arms flailed wildly. “You can’t just throw that name around like it don’t mean anything.”

“Your denial makes it even more obvious,” Ariana continued darkly. “Following Dinah and Lauren around, looking at them like they created the universe. A year ago, you wouldn’t be caught dead speaking to trailer trash and a delusional dairy farmer. Now, y’all can’t even seem to separate from each other. What am I supposed to think?”

Camila shrugged tensely. “That we’re close friends?”

“No, you’re not,” Ariana replied. “‘Cause we’re best friends, and we don’t act like that.”

“You’re not my best friend. Who the fuck made you think that?”

“What!?”

Camila nodded as she tore her wrist away from Ariana. “My best friend is Normani Kordei. She’s been there for me when no one else has, much more than you have. With all the crap that goes through my head, Normani was there at my side every single time. Even if we aren’t as close as we used to be, I love her dearly. You, though...” She laughed bitterly, feeling very much like a carbon copy of Ariana at that moment, but she was past the point of caring. “We’re not best friends, and we never will be.”

Ariana sucked her breath in, nostrils flaring in disgust. She jabbed her chest with a shaky finger and glared right up at her. “Take. That. Back,” she hissed in a threatening tone.

With a grim smile, Camila stared right back into Ariana’s brown eyes, now cold from anger. She could hear her father’s voice in the back of her head, reminding her that she wasn’t acting like a proper Southern lady. “Go. To. Hell.”

Ariana snarled like a wild animal and lightly shoved her. “Get the hell out of my house, Cabello!” Ariana screamed so loudly that Camila was sure the entire Silver Mine could hear them. Camila threw her hands up in defense and backed away. “I don’t ever wanna see you again. Don’t you ever come into my house and disrespect me. Learn your place, or you ain’t ever gonna go anywhere around here. You’re treading on thin fucking ice. You’re _nothing_ without me.”

Camila grabbed her backpack and rolled her eyes. “Oh, bless your heart, Ariana. After high school, the only place that’ll hire you is the brothel, and you’ll end up with an ugly-looking child and a deadbeat baby daddy ‘cause no one wants to be with your egotistical ass.”

“Don’t you be starting shit! Don’t you be starting shit now!”

She stormed down the stairs and out the house before walking backward. By now, she noticed some of the curtains in houses pulled back to reveal nosy neighbors watching the commotion. There was no turning back. Every prominent person in Silver was watching, but windows had to be soundproof? Right? Plus, most people were still at work or out and about town around this time in the afternoon. _So be it,_ she thought. _I don’t care anymore._

She walked backward once she left the house so she could see Ariana standing on her balcony. Once the girl’s cold gaze met hers, Camila stuck her two middle fingers in the air and held them out triumphantly.

Ariana gripped the balcony and leaned over to yell at her. “You’re gonna regret this, you know? No one will want to be your friend after I tell _everyone_ your dirty little secre _._ You made a powerful enemy, and I sure hope your daddy will be able to get out of this one.”

 _Ha, she wouldn’t! She may seem heartless, but that damn girl’s a wuss,_ Camila thought with an eye roll.

“And who’s gonna believe you, huh? Camila yelled back. “Everyone thinks _you’re_ a heartless bitch. Now, you’re just gonna prove their point. I’ll pray for you, Ariana. Lord knows you need it.”

Ariana stormed back into her room and slammed the balcony door. Camila smiled triumphantly and swaggered back to her home, feeling a lot more confident than she had ever been about herself.

* * *

All eyes were on her as Camila entered the building. It was school spirit day, so that meant all the cheerleaders and football players had to wear their uniforms. Everyone else was required to wear blue and white clothing. God bless the Warriors, right? Camila expected all this attention on her because she was wearing an outfit that showed off her assets. At first, she was bothered, but now that she knew that she had two confirmed bodyguards to beat up any creeps, she felt way relieved.

There was still something off about their stares. Walking through the hallway only brought a wave of silence as the student body of Harrison High stared at her with cold, dead eyes. Was there something on her face? Did her acne break out again? Oh, God, it better not be a loose ponytail again.

Now, why didn’t she go to school with Dinah and Lauren again? Right. They had band practice and promised Camila that they would drive her home after school. She couldn’t always rely on her crutches to keep her safe. Her jaw clenched as she kept her head down as some kids started whispering nearby.

“That’s her, ain’t it?”

“Yeah. The one who…”

“Shh, Caleb. Keep your voice down. It could all be bullshit.”

Yup. It was official. Camila _really_ wasn’t liking this. Okay. Maybe if she just hid in the bathroom real fast, it would all blow over? She didn’t like being the center of attention. She could also just sneak off to the band room and hide in there. No, that would make her a coward.

 _Well, idiot supreme, you are a coward,_ she thought.

Camila adjusted her backpack and continued walking.

“Mila!”

She stopped dead in her tracks and turned around to find Hailee and Ally both running to catch up to her. Hold on, since when were Hailee and Ally friends?

“Hailee… Ally... “ Camila said slowly as the two girls caught up to her. “Hi? Why are you so out of breath?”

“Just ran out of a student council meeting when we heard the commotion,” Hailee said breathlessly. Ohhh. Right. Hailee was the vice president of the council. She _totally_ knew that. Wrong! “Camila, you’ve got to see this.”

Camila furrowed her brows in confusion. “What’s going on?”

“Mila, sweetheart,” Ally said in an assuring tone as she reached to grab her hand, rubbing her palm with her thumb comfortingly. “We’re going to get to the bottom of this. I promise. Nobody’s gonna get away with this.”

“Get away with what?” Camila seethed. “What the _hell_ is going on?”

“Ally, it’s not gonna help anything if we leave her in the dark,” Hailee said.

The short blonde sighed, looking from Camila to Hailee and back to Camila and nodded. “Alright. Better now than never.” She began leading Camila down the hall. “Mila, something happened in the school after hours. We don’t know _who_ or _how_ , but… it’s not good. You ain’t gonna like it.”

“I already don’t like the attention on me. How bad could it get?”

Hailee smiled grimly in reply. “Don’t say that. You’ll jinx it.”

“The darned thing already happened, right? So it can’t get any worse,” Camila replied. She stared down the hall to find a huge crowd of people in front of _her_ locker. In front of the crowd, she could spot the familiar shining black braids of Normani Kordei.

“Stay back. Everyone stay the fuck back. It ain’t your business,” Normani said firmly.

“C’mon, Kordei! We wanna see what it is!”

Normani snorted. “You’re a sick fuck for wanting to see what it is. Stick your nose back up your ass, Hemmings.”

Camila wanted to break out into a run. Something was happening. Something was wrong with _her_ locker. The thought absolutely terrified her. She broke out of Ally’s grasp and bolted towards her locker. She mumbled a not-so-polite “excuse me” as she pushed through the crowd of sweaty, nasty high schoolers until she was right in front of her locker. She made direct eye contact with Normani, who looked just as concerned as Camila, bit down on her lower lip before she looked at her locker. Nothing prepared her for what was next.

Spray painted on her locker with bright yellow paint was:

_GO TO HELL_

_KARLA CAMILA CABELLO_

_YOU BIG FAT DYKE_

That wasn’t even the worst part of it. Right smack dab in the middle of the locker was a poorly photoshopped picture of Camila kissing an unidentified brunette. She knew it was definitely photoshopped because she remembered taking that picture. It was originally a selfie of her kissing Ariana’s cheek. Now it was cruelly twisted to make it look like she was kissing another girl.

Her whole body shook violently, and her vision blurred. How could this happen? _Why_ did this happen? Now, everyone thought she was a lesbian, and her secret was out. Her reputation was ruined. But on what grounds? She didn’t even come out! For all anyone knew, this could be fake. But it was real, it was so real. Once they knew the truth, Camila Cabello would become nothing better than a lowlife like those in the Silverside Trailer Park. Well, except Lauren and Normani, but that was a different story.

Camila slowly backed away from her locker, amazed at how the crowds seemed to part like the Red Sea. She knew her expression explained everything, how horrified and traumatized she was. That was when she knew she needed to run. So, she did.

She bolted down the hallway, fighting her tears as hard as she could. This was no way to be outed, even if she wasn’t sure that she was even being outed. Coming out should be her choice, not anyone else’s. Hers and hers only.

Who could have done this? And why?

Then it hit her, only one other person knew about her sexuality other than her close friends and partners. Ariana Grande. She had threatened to spill her secret too. All signs pointed to that vile, evil excuse of a woman. Oh, no, she was going to _pay._ Her jaw clenched as she marched towards the stairwell to make her way to the second floor. She climbed the stairs in record speed, but someone blocked her from going any further. Ariana Grande and two sophomore cheerleaders that hardly looked intimidating at all. Guess she couldn’t find anyone else to be her goonies.

“Can’t say I’m surprised,” Ariana said mockingly, clicking her tongue. “I would say congratulations for finally owning up to your sins, but we’re not friends anymore, right?”

_God fucking damnit!_

Camila bared her teeth. “You,” she spat, pointing an angry finger at Ariana. “ _You_ did this.”

“Did what?” Ariana asked. Oh, how _dare_ she act oblivious! She knew damn well what she did.

“You were the one that put that slander on my locker!” Camila said accusingly. “Are you insane!?”

“No, I’m not. Because I’m straight,” she replied coolly. The two sophomores giggled quietly next to her.

Something inside her snapped, and she sent a death glare to the two sophomore girls and stormed forward. “Listen, Grande, I’m not going to sit here and let you laugh in my face like this is some kind of joke. First of all, you can’t be crying dyke like it means nothing! Sure, haha, Camila Cabello hangs out with girls a lot; therefore, she could be a lesbian, but it’s _not fucking true,_ ” Camila snapped. “Do you know what you just did? Everyone in the school thinks I’m a homo, and it’s all _your_ fault. My dad’s business is _ruined._ ”

“Wait, are we talking about your locker? ‘Cause I didn’t do that,” Ariana said quickly. Camila wanted to facepalm because she _literally_ mentioned her locker like five seconds ago. “If I were to out you, I wouldn’t do it like that. That’s just _stupid._ ”

Camila didn’t believe one word of what she just said. “But you just said that you would out me. Meaning you’re probably just as guilty as the asshat who messed my locker up. I bet you told them to do it, you little snake,” she growled.

“Oh my God, Camila,” Ariana said exasperatedly. “I didn’t vandalize your locker, so stop getting your panties in a twist. Whoever did probably thought it was a funny joke. Senior pranks, y’know? It’ll all blow over in a day or two.” She laughed nervously when Camila’s menacing glare didn’t falter. “I mean, who would be dumb enough to believe that photo’s actually a real picture? If people paid attention to our Instagrams, they’d know it’s a manipulated version of our selfie.”

“That’s bullshit, and we both know it.”

Ariana pursed her lips and placed her hands on her waist. “You just want to blame me for this because you’re falling from grace,” she accused. “Now that you’re popularity’s diminishing, you’re crawling back to me to get back to the top spot. You’re a loser now, and you _need_ me.”

Camila burst out laughing and shook her head. “Well, look at that! Ariana Grande has completely lost it. I don’t care about you. I care about my family. After this, if I end up a complete outcast, I don’t care. I _do_ care about my dad’s job though. If he finds out, everyone’s gonna hate us, then bye-bye the best lawyer in Silver.”

“By the sound of it, you ain’t denying you’re a dyke,” one of the sophomores said.

“Thank you for sharing,” Camila said faux-sweetly as a good Southern rich girl would do. “But I don’t think I asked for your input? I suppose these days anyone’s allowed to spread their ignorance.”

“She’s beating around the bush, Ari. She’s totally a dyke,” the other sophomore interjected.

Camila laughed bitterly. “Naw. Let me make this clear, I’m not a fucking homo, and I _never_ was or will be. But someone’s tryna’ slander me, and I’m trying to get to the bottom of this.” She rolled her eyes. “Christ, it’s like I’m living in Stupidtown.”

“Are you sure?” Ariana asked with a raised brow. “‘Cause here come your little _gal pals_ now.” Camila whipped her head around to find Dinah and Lauren marching up the stairs. Her jaw clenched as she looked down and away from them. “Hey, Jauregui!” Ariana called. “Did you see? Your little girlfriend just got exposed! I always knew you were trying to turn Camila into a kitty puncher.”

“Alright, that’s it!” Lauren yelled as she marched forward, pulling up her sleeves. “I’ve had enough of your shit, Grande. It’s one thing to call me a dyke. Big fucking deal. I don’t give two shits about what people think about me. Camila, on the other hand, you leave her the _fuck_ alone,” she seethed.

“Or what? You gonna turn me into a lezzie too?”

Lauren didn’t respond. She surged forward and grabbed Ariana by the straps of her cheerleading uniform and then body slammed her against the nearby lockers. The two sophomore girls screamed like they had seen a cockroach and ran as fast as they could down the stairs. Pussies.

Dinah, finally registering what was going on, quickly strode forward. “Woah! Lauren, take it easy. Jesus Christ, don’t kill her!” Camila was completely and utterly flabbergasted. She stared slack-jawed at the scene unfolding in front of her. Lauren lifted Ariana up by the straps of her outfit and hoisted her up like one of those bullies in the movies. Wow, how was Lauren so strong?

“No, I’ve had enough of Grande getting away with being a dissolute, profligate asshole,” Lauren growled. She glared up at Ariana, who looked completely frightened at that moment. “You know what you are? A coward.”

 _Funny,_ Camila thought. _She used to call me that._

“Because you can’t seem to face the fact that the only time you feel any fucking good about yourself is when you ruin the lives of those around you. Well, guess what?” Lauren continued, leaning in to put her face right near Ariana’s face. “Nobody fucking likes you. You rule on a throne of lies. And what happens when a queen destroys her subjects to stay in that throne? She has no kingdom to rule. You are _nothing,_ absolutely _nothing._ Without your toys that you manipulate and play with, you’re a shallow, unlikable _bitchface_.” By now, a small crowd had gathered around the area, including some familiar faces such as Ally, Hailee, and Normani. But where were the boys? “What do you have to say for yourself, Une Grande Dick?”

Ariana narrowed her eyes. “Go. Fuck. Yourself.” And then she spat right in Lauren’s face.

Lauren was fuming. Without a second thought, she threw Ariana to the ground like she was a rag doll. She wiped Ariana’s saliva off of her face with her sweatshirt sleeve. As she moved to lunge on top of her, Dinah grabbed her by the waist and pulled her back. “Dinah, I swear to the Lord Almighty, if you don’t let me go _right_ now-”

“Lo,” Dinah pleaded. “She’s not worth it. Stop. We’re gonna get in trouble,” she reasoned.

“Who the fuck cares? She vandalized Camila’s locker with that crap!” Lauren screamed as she tried to wrestle her way out of Dinah’s tight grasp.

“I didn’t fucking vandalize Camila’s locker, you psycho!”

“Yes, you did,” Lauren snapped. “Don’t lie.”

“Guys,” Camila said softly. “Don’t…”

“Isn’t this cute? Lezren’s big, dumb-ass homo of a best friend is coming to save the day,” Ariana taunted. “Too bad her family’s full of inbred idiots. Tell me, how is your family of hillbillies? Still stupid and gun-crazy as always? Have they sacrificed their cattle to the Lord yet?”

Dinah gritted her teeth. “You better shut the hell up about my family, little girl,” she threatened.

“Oh, what are you gonna do, cowgirl? Come on, we all know you’re a real pussy. Big, slow, and stupid. Just like the rest of the Hansen clan.”

“God, Dinah, you can’t let her say this shit! I’m gonna mess her fucking face up! Let me go!” Lauren howled as she started kicking wildly. Dinah only tightened her grip as she gave Ariana the coldest, blankest stare.

Ariana grinned from the ground and continued. “Maybe I should dumb it down for you? Cause the only reason they made you skip a grade was because you were too terrifying for the kindergarten. I mean, imagine looking like a gorilla when you were only six years old? Your life must suck ‘cause that was pretty much your peak.”

Dinah let go of Lauren and gently pushed her to the side. Lauren smiled triumphantly as she moved to pin Ariana down with the heel of her foot. “That’s it, shithead. I did this to Austin Mahone in the second grade, and I’ll do it to you too. You messed with the _wrong_ crazy bitch.” She knelt down, and her right fist came speeding down to hit Ariana in the nose while Lauren began to step hard on Ariana’s chest.

And that was when Camila knew she had to intervene. This wasn’t helping anything. If the principal came in in a few seconds, Dinah could get _suspended._ Imagine the horror on Mama Hansen’s face when she found out that her daughter was ruining the Hansen’s family reputation! Plus, they were attracting a crowd. And a crowd only meant one thing in Silver: gossip.

“Lauren, Dinah, no!” Camila screamed as she came running towards her girlfriends and Ariana. Lauren’s eyes widened and quickly stepped off of Ariana like she had just touched hot water. She caught Dinah’s wrist just in time and pulled it back. Dinah whipped her head around to glare at Camila. But once she saw Camila’s terrified expression, her gaze softened.  “Please, it’s not worth it,” she begged.

“Mila…” Dinah said gently as she took Camila’s hand in hers.

“WHAT IN TARNATION IS GOING ON HERE!?” Principal Johnson screamed at full volume as he marched down the hall with the two sophomores right behind him. Dinah jumped to her feet and let go of Camila’s hand. Ariana groaned tiredly and got to her feet. Principal Johnson placed his hands on his hips and glared at them. “Grande, Hansen, Jauregui, Cabello, my office. Now!” he barked. He looked up at the bystanders. “Everyone else? Get to class!” The crowd began to disperse. “Oh, except for you, Ally.” Ally stopped and turned around, giving the principal a quizzical look. “I’m gonna need a reliable witness,” he said coolly. “‘Cause I’m going to be calling some parents.”

Ariana gawked and blubbered her protests.

Lauren sighed softly but shrugged indifferently.

Dinah let out a forced laugh and shook her head disbelievingly. “Well, shit.”

* * *

“So, is my dad coming or not?” Lauren barked into the phone, while in a heated argument with Ashley Frangipane. Well, it sounded like a heated argument. But maybe Ashley was stoned as heck, and Lauren was struggling to get information out of the city slicker. “Okay, well, somebody’s gotta be here that’s an adult. Are you at the shop?”

Ariana let out a frustrated groan as she slumped back in the big, comfy armchair in front of the principal’s desk. Lord knows where he went, but the meeting wasn’t gonna start until all parents were here.

“You’re in Fresno!? What the _fuck,_ Ashley?”

Dinah snickered under her breath.

“Business… Right. Don’t know what business you have out in freaking Fresno, but I ain’t judging,” Lauren continued. She licked her lips and drummed her fingers on her armchair. “Mhm… Well, I’ll try my pop again, but he didn’t answer his phone…. No! Ashley, don’t be saying that shit.” Lauren rolled her eyes and sighed loudly. “Alright, well, I gotta go. Stay out of trouble, loser. Yeah. Love you, adios.” She hung up her phone and shoved it in her pocket. “I swear to God, it’s a miracle Ash hasn’t burned down the auto shop. She’s completely out of it. I hope she doesn’t find her way to Vegas anytime soon.”

“Poor people,” Ariana hummed. “They’re just as insane in the brain as you think they are.”

“Shut up, Lalaloopsy,” Dinah hissed.

“Ooh! Did I strike a nerve, Dwayne Johnson?”

Camila narrowed her eyes. “Guys, come on. We’re already in trouble.” She pointed a threatening finger at Dinah and Ariana. “Don’t make it worse.”

“ _You’re_ in trouble. I’m not,” Ariana corrected. “There ain’t no way I’m at fault here. I didn’t vandalize anybody’s lockers, so…”

“You spit in my fucking face, you fucktard,” Lauren reminded her venomously.

Ariana scoffed at that. “And y’all tried to beat me up, so who’s the real idiot here?”

“Still you,” Dinah said unashamedly. She held her fist out to Lauren, who quickly bumped it in reply. “Boom.”

Camila couldn’t even put into words how done she was with all three of them. She swore to God if her dad didn’t get her out of this mess, she’d have to move to Oklahoma. Then again, Oklahoma was no better than friggin’ Texas. She sighed in frustration and bounced her leg anxiously. She didn’t even do anything, so she shouldn’t be here. The only people that should get in trouble were Ariana, Lauren, and Dinah. Yeah, sue her, she wasn’t against her girlfriends getting some sort of consequences for their actions. Violence was never the answer to anything.

The office door swung open moments later to reveal a rather distressed Joan Grande. “Ariana! Sweetie, I came as soon as I heard,” she said, waltzing over to give her daughter a big kiss on the forehead. “What happened, darling? Who hurt you?” Camila clicked her tongue and grimaced, unintentionally catching the attention of Mrs. Grande. “Oh, hello, Camila, darling!” she greeted rather warmly. “How are you?”

 _“Mama,”_ Ariana hissed. “It’s Camila’s fault I’m here.”

“What!?” Camila shook her head in disbelief. “No, don’t you dare pin this on me.”

“Oh,” Mrs. Grande said softly, looking between her daughter and Camila. It didn’t take a genius to figure out whose side she would take in the end. However, Camila didn’t miss the small, sympathetic smile Ariana’s mother sent her way.

Next to arrive was Mama Hansen. Camila immediately straightened up in her chair. Even if she wanted nothing to do with Dinah anymore, Camila felt the need to be on her girlfriend’s mother’s good side. Although, she was pretty sure Mama Hansen had no idea what her relationship with Dinah was.

Dinah’s eyes widened, seemingly shocked by her arrival. “Ma… I thought Pa was coming?”

“Too busy,” Mama Hansen replied shortly. “Guess it’s up to me to deal with the heathen.”

Camila’s jaw clenched while Dinah looked visibly uncomfortable. Over three months, and she still treated Dinah like she was the scum of the Earth. _Bitch._

“Oh! Mrs. Hansen!” Mrs. Grande greeted with a friendly wave. “You haven’t been to the beauty shop in a while. How have you been, dear?”

Mama Hansen shrugged, giving Mrs. Grande a blank look before sitting down in one of the chairs in the back of the room. “Just peachy,” she replied bitterly.

“Oh…” Mrs. Grande trailed off awkwardly. “Swell to hear.”

The office door opened once again. “Papa!” Camila shouted with glee as she quickly got out of her seat to hug her father. She beamed brightly when he squeezed her tightly in return. Her relationship with her father was very close. She always considered herself a daddy’s girl and was never ashamed of it. Her parents were both super loving. Although, sometimes Camila felt very intimidated and judged by her own mother, but she knew her mama only wanted the best for her.

“Camila, mija, I am so happy to see you,” he said softly before kissing Camila’s hair gently. He pulled away and gave her shoulders a quick squeeze. “We’re going to figure this out. I’m certain you did nothing that would upset me.”

“Of course not, Papa,” Camila replied, feeling very much like the small child that used to cling to her father, begging him not to leave for work any morning. She turned to face Dinah and Lauren, who watched them amusingly and cleared her throat. “Papa, I want you to properly meet my friends, Lauren Jauregui and Dinah Jane Hansen.”

He smiled and held his hand out firmly for Lauren and Dinah to shake. “A pleasure to meet you both. Camila talks amiably about you.”

Dinah raised a brow and gave Camila a bewildered look, but eventually relented and shook his hand. “Nice to meet you too, sir,” she said.

Lauren smiled and did the same. “Same here. I’m glad I got to meet someone so important in Camila’s life. It’s truly an honor.”

Camila felt her cheeks heat up. Okay, now Lauren was pushing it. She gave the green-eyed girl a glare, and Lauren winked in reply. Ariana’s gaze was glued to them, and she muttered something angrily to Mrs. Grande. Mrs. Grande shook her head and quietly scolded her. Camila couldn’t help but subtly smirk in triumph.

Her father made his way to sit down next to Mama Hansen. “Hello, Milika,” he greeted warmly.

Mama Hansen grunted in reply, causing him to chuckle nervously and look away.

Principal Johnson finally entered the office. “Alright, is everyone here? I just finished getting my witness report from Miss Hernandez. I have a vague idea what’s going on, but I’ll need to hear all sides of the story before I make a conclusion.” He sauntered over to his desk and sat down before looking back up. “Jauregui,” he addressed Lauren, “where’s your daddy?”

“He said he was coming…” Lauren began to say. And as if on cue, Mike Jauregui burst through the door. He flushed in embarrassment and gave Principal Johnson a quick wave, kissed Lauren on the cheek, and moved to sit on the other side of Mama Hansen. Mama Hansen made a disgusted noise.

“Good, now that everyone’s here… we can begin,” Principal Johnson said. “Miss Grande, since you were the one on the ground, you go first.”

Ariana cleared her throat and sat up straight. “Well, Principal Johnson, I was minding my own business and getting ready for class when Camila comes up to me in a rage. She starts yelling at me and accusing me of these terrible things!” She placed a hand on her heart. “My, I had never seen my dear Camila in such a rage. It was like she had gone insane! And then she accused me of vandalizing her locker of those _obscenities!_ Why would she think that? I was her friend!”

“Excuse me,” her father interrupted, going into full lawyer mode. “What obscenities were on my daughter’s locker?”

“Slurs, Mr. Cabello,” Principal Johnson answered. “Specifically the word ‘dyke’ and an indecent photo of your daughter kissing a girl.”

Her father’s eyes widened. “What!? Camila, is this true?” he asked. “Did someone take a photo of you committing such a sinful act?”

“Papa, no!” Camila denied. “I’m not a lesbian. I’m _not._ I would never, ever, commit that kind of sin. Papa, you know me,” she begged, keeping her gaze far away from the very two girls that she loved with all her heart.

Her father sighed in relief. “For a second, I was worried. But I know my daughter would never lie to me.”

Ariana raised a brow. “Can I continue now?”

“Yes, Miss Grande,” Principal Johnson said.

“I, of course, denied it because I didn’t do it, but Camila didn’t believe me, so she sent in her two bodyguards in to beat me up for some revenge ploy,” Ariana continued. “Jauregui lifted me up and slammed me against the lockers and then she threw me on the ground! Hansen came up, and she was about to punch me, but then thankfully, Principal Johnson came in time!”

“So, you were assaulted.”

“Yes!”

“And you didn’t do anything to provoke this kind of behavior?”

“No!”

“Oh my,” Mrs. Grande said softly.

Dinah snorted quietly, catching the attention of the principal. “Do you have something to add, Miss Hansen?” Principal Johnson asked.

The blonde shrugged. “Oh, nothing, you know… except that the story’s bullshit.”

“Language, Hansen.”

Lauren giggled quietly, earning a disapproving look from her father. “She’s right though. It is bullshit.”

Principal Johnson folded his hands on the desk. “Care to share your side of the story then?”

Dinah clasped her hands together and leaned forward slightly in her seat. “Alright, so… Lauren and I just got out of a really nice band practice, and we were going to meet up with Camila before homeroom when we noticed that there was a big crowd around her locker. Lauren moves in to get a good look, and we see someone had vandalized her locker, calling her a ‘big, fat dyke’ and what not. Lauren and I both got really pissed off, but we knew we had to find Camila and fast. So we go upstairs only to find Ariana and Camila arguing. Both of them seemed really heated. And… ah… Lauren, want to take over?”

The green-eyed girl nodded. “Sure. Ariana addresses me and is like ‘Hey, Jauregui! I always knew you were trying to turn Camila into a kitty puncher’, which you oldies might not know, is a slur for a lesbian. Now, I’ve had enough of Ariana at that point. See, she has continuously called me ‘dyke’ and ‘lezzie’ multiple times, but the last straw was calling Camila names. So I admit it, I did let my emotions get the best of me, and I shoved Ariana up against the wall. I yelled at her and called her out, but then she spat in my face. I threw her to the ground, and Dinah held me back, but then Ariana started attacking Dinah. She called Dinah more homophobic slurs and then insulted her family, calling them inbred idiots.” Lauren sighed softly and looked down at her lap. “It got to the point where Dinah snapped, and she almost punched Ariana, had it not been for Camila moving in to stop her.” She looked back up at the principal and cleared her throat. “Principal Johnson, I take full responsibility for my actions, but I ask you to please consider that Ariana isn’t completely innocent in this.”

Silence. Camila was slightly turned on as much as she hated to admit it. Lauren being all mature got her feeling some type of way. _Shut up, Camila, you’re the worst._

“This is… this is…” Mrs. Grande stuttered. “Is this true?”

Ariana shook her head. “No, mama, can’t you see they’re lying? They’re poor, and they want attention, so they’re saying _I_ started it.”

“Oh, as if we want attention from the principal,” Dinah snarked. “If you didn’t shut your mouth, we wouldn’t be here.”

“Says the one who tried to punch me!”

“Ladies-”

“You know you deserved it, Grande. Don’t even start,” Lauren hissed.

“I already told you I didn’t vandalize Camila’s locker!”

“SILENCE!” Principal Johnson banged his fist down on the table like he held a gavel. All three girls immediately shut up and snapped their attention back to the greasy, old man. “Thank you. I have three solid reports, but I need one more before I make any sort of decision.” He turned to look at Camila. “Miss Cabello, which account is most accurate?”

She knew that Ariana would never forgive her if she picked Dinah and Lauren over her. But who in their right mind would pick their crazy (ex) best friend over their significant others? Not Camila Cabello, that’s for sure. “Dinah and Lauren’s. I admit I probably angered Ariana by yelling at her. But you have to understand, I was very emotional…”

Principal Johnson gave her a sympathetic nod. “I do understand, and we will get to the bottom of this. We’ll find and punish that person for vandalizing your locker.”

“So, what about the punishments for now?” Mrs. Grande asked.

“There will be punishments,” he said. “First off, Lauren Jauregui.” Lauren crossed her arms over her chest. “Suspension for one week. There is a strict no physical violence policy at Harrison High, and regardless of your _noble_ intentions, it will not be tolerated.”

Camila immediately felt her stomach drop at that. She looked over her shoulder at Lauren to see how she was feeling. She looked fine. In fact, Mike Jauregui was rubbing her back comfortingly as he whispered something in her ear. A small smile broke out on her lips as she nodded along.

“Dinah Jane Hansen.” Camila snapped her attention back to the principal. “Since you only _attempted_ violence, I feel that the best punishment for you is after school detention some time in the next week, and you will not be allowed to cheer in the next basketball game.”

“Fine by me,” Dinah said indifferently. “Right, ma?”

Mama Hansen shrugged. “I’d personally do worse, but it ain’t up to me.” Dinah rolled her eyes in response.

“Ariana Grande… I expected better from you,” Principal Johnson sighed. “You lied in your account, _and_ you verbally and physically assaulted students. I have no choice but to strip your title as Head Cheerleader for the next month. You will also serve after school detention all of next week.”

“What!? You can’t do that! Mama, tell him he can’t do that!” Ariana yelled.

Mrs. Grande shook her head. “I’m very disappointed in you, Ariana. Very.”

“And what about me?” Camila asked.

“What about you?” Principal Johnson repeated. “You haven’t done anything wrong.”

Camila broke out into a grin. “Thank you.”

“Now, if you’ll excuse me… I have some work to do.”

Everyone took that as the cue to leave. Ariana and Mrs. Grande left without another word. Camila could see the disappointment written all over her features. Poor girl, Camila would feel the same way if she had Ariana as a daughter. Mama Hansen pushed past everyone and made her way to the door. Dinah opened her mouth to say something, but it was too late. She sighed sadly and bowed her head.

Lauren came up behind Camila and pulled her into a side hug. “Suspended. Never thought I’d see the day,” she mused.

“I’m surprised it took so long,” Dinah laughed as she held the door open for Camila and Lauren. All three of them exited, leaving Camila’s dad and Mike Jauregui to talk to each other.

“Shut up.” Lauren rolled her eyes.

“Guys…” Camila mumbled softly. “Thank you for standing up for me. I… really don’t deserve it.”

Dinah scoffed. “Mila, don’t thank us. We’re always gonna stand up for you, no matter what.”

“We’re always at your side, Camz,” Lauren reiterated, nudging her side.

“Ugh. Y’all are so cute I could just kiss you!”

“Nobody’s stopping you…” Lauren said teasingly.

Camila rolled her eyes and shoved her girlfriend playfully. “Yes, my papa. He’s in the next room!”

Lauren and Camila’s fathers left the room as if they heard that Camila was talking about them. Mike didn’t seem too bothered that Lauren had been suspended. He had a big, smiling face. “Lolo, Mr. Cabello just made an amazing offer. Your week of doing nothing could just get so much better!”

“I wanna thank you both, Dinah and Lauren, for standing up for my daughter. I’m glad that she has some real friends she can count on,” her dad addressed Camila’s girlfriends. “Which is why… I’m offering Camila the week off of school to take you both to our home at Lake Tawakoni.”

Dinah and Lauren gasped excitedly. “Really!?”

“Dad!” Camila huffed. “I was gonna ask them to go during Spring Break!”

“Well, consider this an earlier, better Spring Break!”

“But it’s still cold…” she muttered.

Her father shook her head. “Not next week. We’re looking at highs from the high 60s to mid-80s.”

“Ohhh.” Camila grinned. She had no idea why her dad would decide that skipping school for a week was a remotely good idea, but she wasn’t complaining. She could use a week off from the craziness that was Harrison High. “That’s actually great! Can I bring Normani and Ally?”

“Mani _and_ Smallz too!? I love this idea already!” Dinah wrapped an arm around Camila and squeezed her. “Let’s do it!”

Lauren laughed cheerfully, shaking her head in disbelief. “Wow, what a nice surprise! Thank you so much, Mr. Cabello.”

“Don’t thank me,” he said with a smile. “Just looking out for my girls.”


	23. twenty-three: you can never really tell what's going on in this town

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a late and more of a filler chapter, but i'm still here and busy as heck. i love you all tho for sticking with me. :)

“Are we there yet!?” Normani yelled.

Camila barely looked up from her phone. “No,” she replied flatly from the front seat. She glanced over at Dinah, who was being a good responsible driver and keeping her eyes on the road. “Turn left on Tawakoni Drive aka TX-276 after about another five miles,” she instructed firmly.

“I’m low on gas. I forgot to fill up before we left,” Dinah chuckled nervously. “Is there a gas station near where we’re turning?”

“It’s Emory,” Camila replied. “There has to be a gas station there. It’s a town after all.”

“Twice the population of Silver,” Lauren mused from the backseat. Ally snored loudly, causing Lauren to flinch slightly when Ally’s head lolled to the side and rested on Lauren’s shoulder. Normani giggled in amusement and gently stroked her girlfriend’s hair. Lauren didn’t seem pleased that she was stuck in the backseat third wheeling a couple while her actual girlfriends were both in the front seats. Camila insisted that she sit in front because she was the navigator, and they all wanted to take Dinah’s car because her Ford Fusion was more practical for this occasion than Lauren’s truck, Camila’s Benz, or even Normani’s jalopy.

“I hate stopping at gas stations in strange towns though,” Dinah complained. “They always look at you funny ‘cause of the color of your skin. At least everyone knows me in Silver, so they don’t think I’m secretly plotting to kill them.”

Normani snorted. “Tell me about it. It’s more like they’re plotting to kill us.”

“Right!” Dinah laughed. “Alright, Mama Dinah’s gonna put some music on. Do we have any suggestions?”

“Chance!” Normani suggested.

“Taylor Swift!” Camila contributed with a big smile.

Dinah shook her head. “Absolutely not.”

Camila pouted because wow, Dinah was so mean. Taylor wasn’t that bad. She was just super successful, and she was just doing what successful artists did -- exploit others.

“Aw come on, Walz, you know I can’t stand it when you pout,” Dinah whined.

“I know. That’s exactly why I’m doing it.”

Lauren laughed softly. “When she does that, I just ignore her.”

Liar. Lauren was totally, completely whipped for her and made sure everyone knew that. One single pout would leave Lauren begging on her knees literally. Camila smirked and kept her mouth shut, knowing that Lauren was wrong.

“I can’t wait to get there,” Camila said excitedly as she turned her head to look back at the three girls. “There are four bedrooms, so y’all can pick what room you want,” she said, mostly referring to Normani and Ally.

Lauren’s brows furrowed. “But what about us-”

“My only request is to not use my parents’ room because I want it for Lauren, Dinah, and I. It’s a king size bed, so you know…” She wiggled her eyebrows.

Normani made a gagging noise. “Oh, ew, disgusting. I do _not_ wanna know about that.”

“Mani, don’t be gross,” Camila chastised. “I mean this is the first time that all three of us can fit in a bed and cuddle comfortingly. Plus, we don’t have to worry about Regina barging in like at Dinah’s house.”

“I’m tryna put a padlock on my bedroom door, but my daddy says my door frame’s too old,” Dinah explained. “But believe me, dirty stuff will be happening this week. Better oil up your vagina, Lauser, you’re gonna get fucked good.”

Lauren groaned in embarrassment. “Jesus Christ, shut up. I don’t want you to ever use the words ‘oil up your vagina’ again.”

“Okay, baby girl, I’ll respect your wishes.”

Normani made a disgusted noise and turned her attention to her sleeping girlfriend.

“There’s a Shell near the turn-off,” Camila informed Dinah, deciding to change the subject from a rather awkward topic. She glanced over at the side of the road, noticing the green population sign for Emory. A whopping 1,239. The town still seemed to be happening because Sinner’s Road was littered with restaurants and stores just off the highway. “This town’s certainly more happening than Silver.”

“Everything’s more happening than Silver,” Dinah replied. “The only thing people actually come in town for is the Sweet Potato Festival. Last year was a joke.”

“Aw, come on, the magician was kind of cool, DJ,” Lauren argued with a playful laugh.

Camila shook her head as she recalled the festival in question. She attended with her family. Lauren asked her to go as a date, but Camila politely declined. She needed more sister time anyway, and Sofi loved the Sweet Potato Festival’s petting zoo. “No, he wasn’t, Laur. He was terrible. I’d say he was a clown-in-training.”

“Shh. Ally helped organized this. Don’t be hating,” Normani chastised.

“Ooh,” Dinah giggled. “Is big mama Manibear gonna hit me for hating on her girl?”

“If you weren’t driving, I woulda thrown you out the car.”

“Bet,” Dinah replied.

_“In one mile, turn left onto Tawakoni Drive, TX-276.”_

“That means the Shell’s just up here,” Camila informed her friends.

Dinah squinted. “Oh, damn,” she said in awe. “Is that it up there? That’s one tiny gas station! The Chevron’s bigger than that, don’t y’all agree?” She turned into the gas station and pulled up to one of the pumps. The only other car there was an old beat-down Chevy. Dinah turned the car off and hopped out. “Shit, it’s actually real hot out.”

“Laaauren,” Camila whined.

“Caaaamila,” Lauren whined back.

Camila turned around in her seat, awkwardly craning her head so she could get a better look at her. “Can you go inside and get us some snacks? I’d really like some Takis.” She glanced outside the window at Dinah who was already working on gassing the car up. “Get Dinah some Flamin’ Hots too.”

“Get me some Doritos while you’re at it,” Normani added. “Oh, I’d appreciate a Mountain Dew.”

Lauren scowled and shook her head in disbelief, glancing between Camila and Normani like they had two heads. “Woah, woah, I ain’t buying all that shit or going in there alone! Y’all want me to prematurely die?”

Camila and Normani both looked at each other, blinked, and then looked back at Lauren. “Listen, Lo, if anyone’s gonna not get weird looks from people, it’s you,” Normani said bluntly, obviously pointing out Lauren’s _pale_ complexion. “Take Ally with you if you need moral support.” She gently shook the sleeping girl next to her. “Ally, wake up,” she whispered.

Ally stirred in her sleep and sleepily opened her eyes. “Huh? Are we there yet?”

“If you count a shady lookin’ Shell as there, then yes,” Normani said with a shit-eating grin.

“No… I don’t,” Ally said slowly. Camila had to laugh. Poor Ally was so tired that she seemed so confused. She had no idea what the heck was going on.

Normani giggled and waved her off. “Just go get snacks with Lauren. Go.” She motioned aggressively for Lauren to open the door. Lauren rolled her eyes at Normani’s eagerness and climbed out of the car with Ally right behind her. Once everyone was out of the car, or at least not paying attention to them, in Dinah’s case, Normani sighed in relief. “Alone at last.”

Camila’s brows furrowed. “Uh, I’m still here.”

“I know, but I meant with someone who doesn’t talk up a storm.”

“Yeah, that ain’t me,” Normani chuckled in agreement.

An awkward silence overcame them. For some reason, Camila felt like something was missing. It was like her best friend wasn’t really even there behind her. Had they really distanced themselves from each other that much? She missed Normani. There was no doubt about it, but she knew it was her own fault that they weren’t as close as they used to be. Still, Camila still considered Normani her closest friends.

“I miss you,” Camila said truthfully. She noticed Normani’s features contort in confusion but then soften again. “I haven’t exactly been the greatest best friend, you know…”

“Yeah,” Normani replied. “I know.”

Ouch. Camila grimaced slightly and bowed her head. “I just- I don’t really have a good excuse. I was caught up with other people, and I completely forgot about the people that were already by my side.” She bit her lip. “You still mean a whole lot to me, and I’m going to do whatever I can to fix things. How can I?”

Normani hummed in thought, subtly licking her lips. “Hm. You sound genuine, so I know I’m ain’t talking to a fake Camila Cabello that cares about her reputation more than her friends.”

“Mani, I’ve always been real with you-”

“Mostly,” she interrupted. “Other times you haven’t, and that’s alright. I know that there’s a lot of internal struggles going on in that pretty little head of yours.”

“I…” Camila swallowed the lump in her throat. “Yeah.”

Silence again, but this one was a little more comfortable like both girls were looking for a good way to continue the conversation. Normani understood her on a more personal level than anyone else did. Their personalities were very similar which allowed for that deep connection. “I wanna start over with us this week,” she offered. “We can hang out. Just us bros, talking about girls and football games.”

Normani chuckled. “Oh, Mila, I’ll talk to you about girls, but I hate football.”

“Disney Channel original movies and Desperate Housewives?”

“Much better.”

“Knowing those clowns, they’re gonna want to have fun in the sun and swim all the time. Do y’all have the boat up there?” Normani asked.

“Yeah, but I’ve only driven it twice.”

“I know how to drive it.”

Camila’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Uh, why do I not know about this?”

“Your pop taught me how two years ago,” Normani replied. “He said he trusted me with the motor more than you.”

Yeah. That sounded about right. Camila laughed and shook her head. “Ah, sounds like my papa.”

The third silence in a single sitting. Camila pursed her lips and scratched her head. Geez, what was taking them so long? “So… are we cool?”

Normani laughed quietly. “What made you think we ain’t?”

“I don’t know, just got that vibe.”

“Well,” she drawled, giving Camila a wide, flawless grin. “We are cool, and I’m looking forward to designated time with my best friend.” The driver’s seat door opened, and Dinah climbed into the seat. “No hoes allowed.”

“Hoes? We’re bringing hoes?” Dinah asked in bewilderment.

“ _No,_ Dinah,” Camila hissed in annoyance. “Mani and I are designating time away from our partners to be bros.”

Camila expected Dinah to be upset or concerned because Normani was also Dinah’s best friend. But she just shrugged and laughed, “Dope.”

Ally and Lauren eventually got back in the car with arms filled with snacks and an interesting story about the man behind the counter. Camila chewed on her Takis and rolled her eyes. Lauren was so paranoid. The man was probably just being nice, and she was making too big of a deal out of someone staring.

“Okay, y’all ready?” Dinah asked. She started the car and honked the horn obnoxiously. “Lake Tawakoni, here we come!”

* * *

 

It was a gorgeous Saturday despite the scorching heat. As soon as they had arrived at the lakehouse, they carried their stuff in and unanimously decided to spend the afternoon at the lake. Camila had her swimsuit under her clothes because she had a strong suspicion that they would be getting in the water. She took that opportunity to make sure everything was set up down by the docks, floaties and chairs included.

She didn’t feel like getting in the water just yet, so she decided to pull out a book. _The Road_ , an interesting post-apocalyptic book that she was interested in using as her guideline for her junior paper. She wasn’t too excited about it though. She loved writing but hated writing papers with a burning passion. And knowing her four friends, it’d be a while before they came outside. Not only was there a large lawn between the house and the actual dock, but those girls took ten and a half years to even put on a shirt.

Camila yawned quietly and flipped through the book. She hadn’t been up to Lake Tawakoni in a while. The last time she went she was with Ariana, but now she wasn’t even sure she’d ever take Ariana again. What she did was unforgivable. How could she defile her locker like that? It was cruel, but it also meant that she had to be more careful. More specifically, she had to tell Dinah and Lauren to keep their distance in public. People were out on their pontoon boats. Camila swore she saw her neighbors wandering around when she got there, but she assumed that by the actual week, she could kiss Lauren and Dinah whenever the hell she wanted to.

Moments later, she heard the back door swing open loudly from miles away. “Lauren, we’re going outside!” Normani yelled. “We’re done waiting for your slow ass.”

“Mani, oh, God, please! I’m coming! I’m coming now!”

“That’s what she said,” Camila muttered under her breath as she turned back to her book.

“Damn, this lawn is so large y’all could throw a football field,” Dinah said.

Wait. That didn’t make sense. Camila squinted and looked back at Dinah. “What did you say?” she shouted.

“Oh, there’s Walz! As lazy as ever. Why ain’t you in the water?”

“I was waiting for y’all!” Camila shouted back. She figured she wouldn’t get any reading done with her friends constantly bugging her. She heard the back door swing open again and out came Lauren panting for breath as she ran across the lawn in a bikini. She bit her lip, not even hiding that she was checking her girlfriend out. Who could blame her? That ass was worth millions, and it was all hers. Well, half hers, but technicalities didn’t matter.

The four girls arrived at the dock. Dinah and Normani both decided to share a chair and tossed their bags down. Lauren grumbled under her breath about needing sunscreen because her “pale ass couldn’t take the sun”. Dinah not-so-surprisingly volunteered to slather sunscreen on her back. Camila also couldn’t help but notice that Dinah’s hands seemed to linger longer than normal. Her fingers crept dangerously close to Lauren’s breasts. And to anyone watching, they would think Dinah was giving Lauren a sensual massage. The jealous flame inside her flared enviously, but then she remembered that at the end of the day, they were both hers. She was both theirs. Sharing is caring.

Ally threw her towel on a nearby chair and looked at the water warily. “Is it cold?” she asked tentatively.

Camila shrugged. “No idea, but it’s hot out anyway.”

“Right…” Ally exhaled gently and sat down on the edge of the dock. She daintily dipped her toe in the water. She shuddered a bit and began submerging her whole foot in. Camila had to laugh because this was the most Ally thing she had ever seen. It was almost more amusing than Dinah singing “Country Roads” purposefully off-key. “I’m just gonna… get in there slowly but surely,” she said determinedly.

“Need any help, baby?” Normani asked helpfully with that big, dopey, “I’m in love” grin. She had seen it on her girlfriends too many times before.

Ally shook her head. “No, I’m alright, Manibear. I just hate cold water.”

“Me too,” Normani replied. “One time I went to Houston, and the Gulf of Mexico was so warm. I felt like I was in paradise. The sun was shining, and my daddy had never looked so overjoyed. Maman went in the water with me. She was the one that taught me how to swim. That was back when… things were actually normal in my house.” She laughed sadly and scratched her head. Ally gave her a sympathetic look, one that Camila also had. Normani deserved everything good in the world, but the world didn’t want to honor that sentiment.

“I’m so sorry you had to go through that, but if you don’t want to dwell on it, we don’t have to talk about it,” Ally offered, putting both feet in the water now. “This week is about escaping all of our problems back in Silver, right?”

Camila nodded. “Exactamundo.”

Normani smiled in relief. “In that case, I’d love to move on. Now, where’s that damn duck floatie that I love so dearly?” Camila lazily pointed to the bright, yellow latex floatie on the left side of the dock near where the pontoon boat and the speedboat were tied up. Normani squealed in excitement and practically skipped over there.

“Alright… Now I need to get in the water, just another step…” Ally slid forward on the dock so that her calves were underwater. She shivered and whined at the temperature change. “S-So cold,” she breathed out.

“Lame, lame, lame, this is a boring shitshow,” Dinah said loudly, clicking her tongue in disapproval as she swaggered down the dock. She turned and looked at Ally. “C’mon, Smallz! It ain’t that bad. All you need is a little…” She pressed her foot to the dirty blonde’s back and pushed her into the water. “...push!”

“Dinah!” Ally screamed as she practically belly flopped into the water. Dinah roared with laughter and clapped her hands in triumph.

Normani whipped her head around, floatie already wrapped snugly around her waist and ran towards her. “Dinah Jane, you did not just push _my_ girl into the lake!”

“But I did, Normani, I did,” Dinah taunted.

“Eat sand!”

Normani collided into Dinah at full speed, sending both girls into the water and creating a huge splash. By then, Ally had finally emerged from the water. She shivered and looked around. “So… cold…” She squeaked in surprise when Normani grabbed her biceps and gestured for her to get on the floatie. “Mani, I can’t, you’re already using it.”

“Sit on the neck and then face me,” Normani instructed with a big smile. “I’ll swim us around.”

Ally nodded excitedly and climbed up onto the floatie.

Emerging seconds before Ally and Normani decided to be gay as heck, Dinah burst out laughing. “Look at this! Normani’s head is right where she likes it -- between Ally’s legs.”

“Dinah Jane! Enough!” Ally shrieked while Dinah cackled.

Camila decided to go back to her book after that whole fiasco but was stopped by a firm hand on her shoulder. The touch from a woman that made her heart go miles a minute without even trying. “They’re children, ain’t they?” Lauren joked.

“Oh, and you aren’t?” she sassed.

Lauren shrugged. “I’m older than you.”

“Actually, I’m seventeen. Try again, sweetheart,” Camila grinned.

The green-eyed girl rolled her eyes. “I’m going to be eighteen in June, shut it.” She glanced over at the seat she was in. “Is there room for one more Cuban?”

“Hm,” Camila hummed thoughtfully. “You could sit on my lap or try and squeeze in next to me.”

“I would crush you in both scenarios.”

“...True.”

“Get up, Camz,” Lauren ordered.

Camila cocked an eyebrow up. “I didn’t know you topped from the bottom now.”

“Oh my God, baby, just do it,” she insisted.

“Fine, fine,” Camila relented and got up out of the seat. Lauren immediately sat down and leaned against the back. She spread her arms out and patted the spot on her legs. Camila sighed and moved to sit in Lauren’s lap, facing her and snaking her arm around her waist and using her other hand to intertwine with one of Lauren’s. Lauren carefully rested her unoccupied hand on Camila’s waist. Both girls sighed contently. “You’re right. This is way better.”

Lauren grinned in triumph. “See? I know what I’m doing.” She leaned in and kissed Camila gently. She reciprocated the kiss eagerly, completely disregarding that people were still out and could probably see them. As Lauren Jauregui would say, “Fuck them.” Really, they were in a different town. It was unlikely they’d go crying wolf in a small town an hour away. Lauren broke off the kiss. “Also, I’d never top from the bottom. I love it way too much when you both top me. Especially when you and Dinah fight for control,” she admitted. “Sometimes you win because Dinah’s a softie at heart, but other times, you really want to come, so you let Dinah have her fun.”

“So you’re saying I’m the true top in our relationship?” Camila teased.

“Yeah,” Lauren agreed. “But you also really like it when Dinah’s in charge too, don’t you?”

Camila grimaced. If Dinah heard this, she’d never let Camila hear the end of it. So she bowed her head slightly and whispered, “yeah.”

“Don’t worry. I won’t tell a soul.”

Camila rolled her eyes. “Better not.”

Lauren took a deep breath and began rubbing Camila’s back. Camila closed her eyes and smiled in approval. She really loved back rubs or really anything Lauren did to physically comfort her. Most of the time she wasn’t really touchy with people, so when she initiated physical contact, it always made Camila smile so widely that her face felt like it was going to hurt.

“Camz?”

“Hm?”

“Is it okay if we…” Lauren swallowed. She seemed nervous, but why? Camila was _mostly_ harmless. “Can we… can we talk about what happened earlier this week? With the…”

“Lockers,” Camila finished slowly for her and pursed her lips. “Not really.”

She didn’t want to talk about it. It was a new low for her, and she had never felt so humiliated in her entire lifetime. It was everyone’s worst nightmare, straight out of a movie scene. Who knew that this kind of shit still happened in 2018? “It just happened, and it was fucking annoying, but it just means I have to be more careful,” she elaborated.

Lauren didn’t seem satisfied with that answer. “You’re not upset? At all? You were basically outed…”

“No, I’m upset,” Camila said. “I’m very upset, but nobody’s going to do anything about it.” She let out a bitter laugh. “They’ll obsess over it and then move on to the next big scandal. Plus, if you don’t make a big deal about it, they’ll think it’s lies.”

“People are gonna think something’s up because you disappeared for a week.”

Camila shrugged. “They will.”

“I don’t understand. I really don’t understand,” Lauren muttered. “Why ain’t you angry? Why ain’t you calling for Ariana’s head? She was your best friend, and she betrayed you!”

Good question, why wasn’t she mad? She should be. She definitely should be mad. Spreading rumors about your best friend to the whole school and then picking a fight in the hallway? Not cool. Ariana was vicious, and Camila had wronged her. In some ways, she deserved her punishment.

But maybe it was because Camila remembered a long time ago about how _kind_ Ariana was. Ariana was there for her when Austin Mahone cheated on her with some girl from Tyler who actually turned out to be fake, but he wanted an excuse to break up with her. She bought her a whole basket of chocolates and flowers and held her while she cried. She apologized too. Ariana Grande apologizing? It actually happened. She blamed herself for Camila getting hurt, and she should have seen the signs. Ariana pushed her when she didn’t want to be pushed. Deep down, she had hope that the kind side of Ariana was still there, which is why she didn’t think Ariana was actually behind the locker incident.

“Lauren,” she said softly. “I don’t think she was behind it.”

“What!?” Lauren practically yelled, catching the attention of their two friends and the third member of their trio. Dinah gave them a concerned look, and Camila bit her lip in embarrassment. “Carry on, it’s nothing,” Lauren said dismissively. She turned back to Camila. “Camz, are you shitting me? She literally spat in my face!”

“Because we provoked her,” Camila argued. “I was the one who accused her of being behind it because…” She took a deep breath. “Ariana and I had a fight before this whole incident. She accused me of the same shit, called me a dyke, y’know… I told her that she wasn’t really my best friend for continuing to accuse me of this shit and being mean about it. She has a motive, Lauren, but I think if she did it, she would’ve been more proud of it.” Lauren nodded along, actually listening to reason for once. Shocker! “Because she was so adamant about denying it… I have to believe her.”

Lauren hummed in thought. “Yeah, but that also doesn’t explain why she lied to the principal.”

“Okay, I’m not saying she’s totally innocent. She shouldn’t have spit in your face or called Dinah and I names,” Camila reiterated. “Ariana would do anything to save her own skin, including pulling the ‘rich white girl can do no wrong’ card.”

“True, true…” Lauren agreed. “But think about this, Camz, if not Ariana, then who?”

“Anyone,” she replied without hesitation, bringing her hand up to stroke Lauren’s hair gently. The small subtle smile forming on Lauren’s lips didn’t go unnoticed. “Information travels fast. Somebody in the Silver Mine could’ve overheard.” She looked out onto the water where Dinah, Normani, and Ally were playing a rather intense game of Marco Polo. Poor Normani had to keep calling Dinah back towards shore because she kept trying to swim out where the boats could easily hit her. “Or maybe someone close to us has a certain personal vendetta,” she continued, eyes not leaving the three girls. “You can never really tell what’s really going on in this town.”

Lauren gently squeezed her hand. “We’ll find out who did this, and I’ll personally make sure that they beg on their knees to the Lord for forgiveness for wronging their neighbor.”

“I sure hope you’re right.”

* * *

Ally Brooke made an amazing carbonara. She knew just how to spice it up so it wasn’t completely bland and also blend those flavors. Camila would say it was a successful first meal for their trip. After dinner, all five of them decided on watching one of the many old movies that Camila’s dad had. Lauren was particularly very excited about _The Godfather,_ while Normani expressed interest in _The Silence of the Lambs._

“No, no, no, Mani,” Ally had protested vehemently. “We are not watching a horror movie, even if it’s a best picture winner.”

Dinah found _The Wolf of Wall Street_ in one of the piles and squealed with glee. “Damn, Walz! No idea your dad was so dang hardcore! This movie is the _shit._ ”

Eventually, they all agreed on watching _Titanic_ because it was such a classic, and young Leo DiCaprio was hot -- the five lesbians could agree on that. The movie ended with only three people in tears. Ally and Dinah were two emotional wrecks, and Camila too cried during the ending. Why couldn’t Rose just take turns on that damn door anyway? Lauren was definitely on the verge of tears, but she did a good job hiding it.

Normani and Ally decided to call it a night right after the movie. “Next time, we’re watching _Black Swan,_ ” she said. “If y’all don’t have it, we can go check a Walmart or something?”

She grabbed Ally’s hand and began leading her towards their bedroom, which was where Camila normally stayed. Camila had no idea how to feel about that. “Is _Black Swan_ a scary movie?” she asked timidly.

She just laughed and pulled Ally into a tight side embrace.

After Normani and Ally went off to bed, Camila decided that she personally wanted to call it a night. She was someone who likes to sleep early anyway. She made her way to the bathroom and began brushing her teeth. Lauren and Dinah would probably stay up all night talking, those damn night owls. Camila wasn’t sure if she wanted to sleep alone, but she’d have to deal with it.

As Camila worked through her nightly routine with her toothbrush still in her mouth, she nearly choked on her spit from a loud noise. Camila whipped her head around, finding Dinah leaning against the doorway with a rather disheveled look. “Vanderbilt,” she said breathlessly.

Camila leaned over the sink and spit out her toothpaste before giving Dinah a very confused look. “What did you say?”

“I said, Vanderbilt,” she repeated. “I wanna go there.”

She struggled to put the pieces together. Vanderbilt… That was a university in Nashville. A very good one, actually. Camila was pretty darn sure she could never get in. “Are you talking about going to college?” Camila asked. Dinah nodded in confirmation. “Uh… not that I’m not against it, but what brought this on?”

Dinah bit her lip and kept her gaze downcast like she was ashamed of something. Camila wondered why Dinah would be ashamed of wanting to go to college. That was a _good_ thing, right? The blonde cleared her throat. “Well, I was just thinking. The chances of the band making it are so damn low. I’m not saying we’re not talented enough, but…” She swallowed nervously. “I want to be able to provide for my family without worrying about when I’m gonna get signed to a label, y’know? I’m so, so smart. Letting my intelligence go to waste is just- I sound so selfish, don’t I?”

“No, Dinah, not at all,” Camila protested. She gently grabbed her hand and intertwined their fingers. “You’re thinking ahead. There’s nothing wrong with putting your dreams on hold, right? At least, until you get money… right?”

“Yeah, yeah… but Lauren…”

Camila raised a brow. “What about Lauren?”

“She’ll feel abandoned,” Dinah muttered. “I don’t wanna jump ship, y’know? We’re both going to be in Nashville, and she’ll probably be working while I’m at classes at a fancy ass college. That’s not fair to her.”

Camila couldn’t help but have that same sinking feeling in her stomach. A scary thought that after graduation, Dinah and Lauren would leave her in Silver before she graduated. She wanted to go with them more than anything, but did they want her? She really didn’t want to know the answer of that just yet. “DJ, Lauren wants you to be happy. If that means getting an education first, she’ll support you. _I’ll_ support you. Plus, who couldn’t say no to an extra bit of money?”

“Walz, I’m gonna be in debt.”

“Not unless you’re a National Merit Finalist,” Camila pointed out hopefully.

Dinah rolled her eyes. “I was supposed to complete the application in Fall, and I didn’t. I’m a Semifinalist so I won’t get shit.”

“You can always try-”

“Nahhh,” Dinah drawled. “I’ll figure it out.”

Camila smiled. “So, are you going to consider it?”

“Next year,” Dinah concluded. “I’ll apply next year. Maybe I should establish residency? We’ll see what Tennessee’s policy is.” Again, Camila really didn’t like the idea of Dinah leaving, but she couldn’t just tell her that. “Thanks, Walz. I’m glad to have you in my life.”

“Me too,” Camila agreed, throwing her arms around Dinah. She kissed her girlfriend’s shoulder and mumbled an “I love you” before completely freezing up. Wow. She said that so naturally and so unapologetically. She had almost forgotten that they had never officially said it to each other. Did Dinah notice? Did Dinah care? Did Dinah feel the same way?

A soft exhale came from the blonde, but it was more like a sigh of relief. “I love you too, Camila.” She let go of her and stood on her toes to kiss Dinah chastely.

“Hey!” Lauren slapped the wall outside the bathroom. “Stop canoodling in there and go to bed! I want my cuddles.”

Dinah grinned and poked her head out of the room. “Hey, Lauser! Camila just said she looooves me,” she drawled.

“About fucking time,” Lauren replied. “But fuck you both for not letting me witness it. I wanted to puke rainbows over how disgusting y’all are.”

“And you’re not disgusting with Dinah? Or me?” Camila countered.

Lauren cackled. “Absolutely not!” Dinah rolled her eyes and linked arms with Camila before leading her back to their bedroom, which on most occasions was Camila’s parents’ room. Wow, that felt weird to say.

Camila had absolutely shame in changing into her flannel pants and tank top for bedtime. Dinah decided to sleep in her underwear, how outrageous! Camila wouldn’t be able to handle not staring at Dinah’s thighs that were so thick and absolutely gorgeous. At least she wasn’t sleeping in the middle.

“Move over,” Camila grumbled as she crawled into the spot between Lauren and Dinah.

Lauren looked up from her book and hummed in thought. “Wait, it’s your turn to sleep in the middle?”

“Yeah, you slept in the middle last time,” Camila said.

“Well, I call dibs tomorrow.”

Dinah huffed from the other side of the room. “You know that ain’t how it works, Laur. You wait your turn like a good girl.”

Lauren rolled her eyes and returned to her book. “What-fucking-ever.”

“Hey, you better watch that attitude.”

“Oh. Make me-”

A loud thud.

“OW!” Lauren screeched, rubbing her forehead. “Did you just throw your hairbrush at me?”

Dinah shrugged nonchalantly and climbed in bed. “Yeah, I did,” she said. Camila covered her mouth to hide her laughter. “Can you get it for me? It’s… all the way on the floor over there.” She pointed to the black brush now on the hardwood floor.

Lauren looked down at it and shook her head. “The floor’s cold. I ain’t moving. I’m super comfortable too.” She gestured to her book and grinned. “Plus, I’m reading a very good book. It’s a collection of very fucked up short stories. It’s called _Tenth of December._ ”

“Neeeerd,” Dinah teased.

Camila exhaled gently, not even bothering to hide her feelings. “Wow, I love you both so much.”

Lauren giggled. “Me too, but what’s that gotta do with anything?”

“Wow, so ungrateful, Lauser. Mila’s trying to love you up.”

“That’s ga-”

Suddenly, Camila heard a loud thud and an animalistic scream. Was it a raccoon? They got rid of those years ago! Camila sat up quickly and looked around. “Guys, what the fuck was that?”

Another scream followed by a whine filled her ears. Lauren and Dinah suddenly started cackling loudly. What the actual heck? Camila looked at her girlfriends in bewilderment. “Oh my God, you guys! There could be a rabid animal in here, and you guys think this is _funny?_ ”

Dinah shook her head. “That’s not-” She wheezed. “It’s not a wild animal. Oh, holy shit.” She turned to Lauren and grinned. “I’m getting serious deja vu, ain’t you, Lauren?”

“Yes, yes, indeed,” Lauren chuckled. She cupped her hands over her mouth and yelled. “Mani! Don’t kill the poor girl! There’s only so much she can take!”

“Yeah, get some, Smallz!” Dinah chimed in.

Camila’s eyes in realization as they heard another thud. Oh my God. Normani and Ally were having sex in _her_ bedroom. That was actually… really, really disgusting. She assumed Ally must have fallen off the bed or something. All three girls burst out laughing.

“That was _my_ bedroom, those nasty fucks!” Camila squealed. Dinah and Lauren continued to roar with laughter. And then realization dawned on her. “Wait, what do you mean you were getting deja vu?”

Dinah grinned. “Oh, you know, we may have walked on them having sex before.” She leaned in as if she was about to tell a raunchy secret. “In church.”

“Oh… My… God,” Camila gasped. “It’s one thing if Lauren and I fucked on a Sunday. That was very fun by the way.” Lauren scoffed and rolled her eyes. “But it’s another thing if the pastor’s daughter is getting fucked _in_ church.”

“Face it, Camz, we’re all horny bastards. We’ll get our revenge soon,” Lauren smirked.

Camila raised a brow. “How about now?” That immediately caught Dinah’s attention. She crawled over and rested her head on Camila’s shoulder.

Lauren seemed to consider her, licking her licks hungrily. “Hmmm,” she hummed. “Nah. I wanna read.” She blew a kiss and turned away from Camila and Dinah, leaving both girls in shock and slightly frustrated.

“Ugh,” Camila groaned. “I’m going to bed.” She crawled under the covers in defeat. But she knew that as soon as she saw Normani, she wouldn’t let her hear the end of it. She swore she would.


	24. twenty-four: love the sinner, hate the sin, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyyy everyone, i'm not dead! college apps and other bs has been biting me in the butt, so that's why this chapter is so late. i already heard back from a few schools which is super exciting, but i think my writing schedule should be back to normal? hope you like this chapter, loveliesss.

“Share your deepest darkest secrets, or catch yourself at the mercy of Sauron, hobbit,” Dinah cursed while waving a wooden spoon wildly in front of Ally’s face.

“Don’t call me a hobbit,” Ally warned as she continued cutting the tomatoes. “Now, get out of my kitchen unless you’re gonna actually help me cook.”

Dinah humphed. “ _Your_ kitchen? I believe this is _my_ kitchen. As one of Camila’s girlfriends, I own ⅓ of everything she owns. That also means I own this house.” She winked and grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl, taking a huge bite out of it. “Also? You acting bossy is totally uncharacteristic of you. We _all_ heard who was in charge in the bedroom, Miss Allyson.”

Camila grumbled and lifted her head from Normani’s chest. Yes, she was cuddling with Normani. No homo though. Lauren was just too enraptured with a Lifetime movie to even pay attention to what was going on around her. If she knew her best friend was cuddling with her girlfriend, she might get pissed. “Dinah,” she groaned. “Shut up.”

“Fine, fine,” Dinah relented. “But I can’t let that shit go, how uncomfortable is it knowing your best friends had sex in the bed you sleep in over the summer?”

“Goddamnit, Dinah!” Camila yelled. “I don’t wanna be thinking about that.”

“But not only did it happen once but twice-”

Lauren let out a loud “shh”ing noise. “For God’s sake, can I watch this movie without thinking about pure, innocent Ally being topped by Normani in Camila’s bed? I’m more interested in this movie about these twins switching lives and- OH SHIT!” Camila whipped her head around to look at the screen. Oh, wonderful, a dead woman on the street.

“Ally, cover your eyes! There’s blood on the TV screen!” Dinah hollered. “We must conserve the purity that you have left!” She attempted to pick up Ally by the waist but immediately recoiled when Ally pointed a knife to her face.

“Ally, stop playing with the silverware,” Camila warned. “Let’s all be civilized here.”

Normani snorted. “We’re never gonna be civilized with Dinah Jane around.”

Camila lightly flicked Normani’s forehead. “Mani, hey, be nice.” She pinched her cheeks. “Who’s a nice lil Manibear? You are.”

“Don’t talk to me like I’m a child, shithead,” Normani grumbled as she shoved her best friend playfully. Camila squealed and clung onto her best friend tighter. With a shit-eating grin, she rested her chin on Normani’s breasts. Her disgusted look was almost hilarious. “Mila,” she huffed. “Stop it. You’re being weird.”

Camila wiggled her brows. “When am I not weird? I’ve been this way since I was twelve.”

Her best friend laughed softly and shook her head. Camila loved Normani’s laugh; it was her second favorite after the tied favorite of both Lauren and Dinah. Lauren’s raspy laugh was simply adorable while Dinah’s laugh was loud and rambunctious but still very infectious. What could she say? Camila appreciated laughter a lot. “You’re right. You’ve always been super hilarious and quirky, but I wouldn’t have you any other way. I’d hate it if you were an Ariana 2.0.”

She had to roll her eyes because she would say it until the end: Ariana wasn’t all that bad. “Mani,” she sighed.

“I know. I know. I’m still bitter about the whole thing.”

“Don’t be. I ain’t pressed,” Camila giggled. “Worry about your own problems.”

Normani hummed. “I have a big problem.”

Camila cocked an eyebrow. “Yeah? What’s that?”

“You.” She pushed Camila off of her and onto the floor. Camila screamed loudly and flailed wildly. Unfortunately, the coffee table was right in the way and in the direct way of Camila’s head. She hit the edge of the table and fell flat on the ground.

“Woah!” Ally yelped.

“Ow. Oh my- _ow,_ ” Camila wailed in pain as her head started throbbing.

“Oh my God, I’m sorry-” Normani gasped.

Lauren was quick out of her couch and rushing to Camila’s side. Her hand rested on her back. “Fuck, Camz, are you okay? Did you hit your head?”

Camila groaned in reply, too embarrassed and uncomfortable to reply coherently.

“Damn it! Dinah, get your ass over here,” Lauren hollered.

Dinah shuffled out of the kitchen and over to Camila. “Lord, what happened here?” She knelt down and pursed her lips. “Mila, are you okay?”

“Does she look okay!?” Lauren seethed. “Babe, do you need a doctor?”

Camila would rather die than go to the emergency center in the nearby town. She once had to go there after spraining her wrist, and it sure wasn’t a fun trip. “No, I don’t wanna go.” She sat up and rubbed her head and then glanced down at her hand. “See? No bleeding! I’m fine.”

“Like hell,” Lauren scoffed. “Dinah and I are taking you to bed, and you’re gonna stay there until dinner.”

“Jesus, Lauren,” Camila groaned. “I’m not a baby, and I’m fine.”

Dinah laughed. “See, Laur? She looks like she needs to lie down. That means we need to take her to bed pronto.” Dinah wrapped her arm around her waist and slipped her other arm under Camila’s knees before scooping her up into her arms.

“Dinah, baby, I don’t need to be carried,” Camila protested in disgust.

“Y’all need some serious help,” Ally sighed. “Put Camila down, _please,_ ” she requested.

The blonde grumbled in annoyance, relenting to the true mom friend of the group, and then slowly put Camila back down on the ground. Camila smiled gratefully and stood on her toes to kiss Dinah’s cheek. “Thank you, China,” she giggled. Dinah rolled her eyes playfully and leaned slightly into her touch.

Ally let out a frustrated noise and slammed the metal bowl that she was using down. “We’re out of flour.” She shook her head. “Why are we out of flour?” she mused. She leaned her elbows on the counter and gave Camila an accusatory look. “Camila, why don’t we have any flour?”

“Sheesh, why are you asking me?” Camila asked. “I wasn’t the last to use it.”

“But it’s your house,” Normani added.

“I believe Dinah said literally five minutes ago that this house is also hers,” she pointed out, looking up at her tall girlfriend. “So, Dinah, _where_ is the flour?”

“Sheesh, why are you asking me?” she mimicked Camila’s tone. “Ask the third owner of this house.” She turned to look at the green-eyed girl that wasn’t paying attention at all. “Lauren, _where_ is the flour?”

“Up my asshole,” Lauren grumbled in response, eyes not leaving the TV screen.

Ally made a gagging noise. “Lauren, that’s gross. Ew. Okay… can one of you go into town and get some?”

“Oh!” Camila squealed in excitement. “I’ll go! I need to buy some other stuff anyway.”

Dinah scoffed. “You’re not taking my car, numbnuts.” She crossed her arms. “I’d rather choke on my own spit than let Camila leave my car stranded on the highway.”

“Hey, that was only one time-”

“Still happened though.”

“Newsflash: Dinah, we only have one car,” Normani pointed out. She smiled sweetly. “Unless you go with her, you’re tough out of luck.”

The blonde belched and moved away from Camila. “Ew. I’d rather watch Lifetime movies with my other girlfriend.” When Lauren didn’t show any sort of reaction, Dinah huffed. “On second thought, she’s kind of boring.”

“Mani, will _you_ go into town with me?” Camila inquired. Normani gave her an “are you serious” look, so Camila figured she needed to do some more convincing. “We can have a bro only shopping trip and let our girlfriends paint nails and gossip while we go hang out in the hardware section of Walmart.”

Normani grinned widely. “You have yourself a deal.”

“Hey!” Dinah shouted. “I wanna hang out in the hardware section of Walmart!”

Ally shook her head and climbed down from the chair that she was using to have better access to the counter. “But I need help peeling potatoes,” Ally pouted. “You know my fingers are small and stubby.”

“Poor Mani’s vagina,” Dinah muttered, earning a pillow to her face from an outraged Normani Kordei.

Normani stood up and grabbed Camila’s wrist. “Mila and I are going now. Dumbass Jane, give me your keys.” Dinah pulled her car keys out of her pocket and handed them to Normani as she fixed her blonde mane that was rudely messed up because of Normani’s pillow. “Alright, let’s bounce.”

Camila waved excitedly to her friend and girlfriends before Normani eagerly dragged her out the door. Dang, that girl had a strong grip, or Camila had the physical figure of a string bean. She guessed it was the latter. “Bye, Ally! Bye Lolo and DJ!”

Ally and Dinah both said their goodbyes and went to work on peeling those potatoes. It wasn’t until Normani and Camila were halfway across the front lawn when Lauren realized they were gone and yelled a “BYE CAMZI AND MANIBEAR!” at the top of her lungs.

“Sometimes I wonder why I ever found her intimidating,” Camila mused. “She’s really the biggest dork I ever met.”

Normani chuckled quietly. “Jesus, you just realized that now.”

“Oh, shut up, not all of us has the great ability to charm everyone with your Manilicious personality.”

That earned a loud cackle from her best friend as she climbed into Dinah’s car. “Manilicious,” she muttered. “You’re something else, Cabello.”

Camila beamed.

* * *

“Look at this paint, Mani. It’s like a burnt orange.”

“Gross. Look at this one. It’s called ‘Dead Salmon.’ It’s not even pink.”

“Holy crap, there’s one called ‘Lauren’s Surprise’.”

“Well, I guess it’s more surprising that that color looks more like a baby blue than something Lauren Jauregui would surprise you with.”

Normani and Camila’s playful banter was cut off by a worker clearing his throat. Camila spun around and nearly shrieked in surprise. Poor dude was missing like three teeth and had approximately ten million wrinkles. “Do you young ladies need some help? I can show you the cheaper paints.”

“No… We’re good,” Camila said politely, oddly feeling judged by the worker for being in the paints section of a Walmart.

The worker gave Normani a once over, narrowed his eyes slightly, and then started walking in the opposite direction.

“I hate white men,” Normani mumbled once he was out of earshot. “Strange white men give me the heebie-jeebies.”

“Poor guy can’t get a job elsewhere and is bored out of his mind. He needs some excitement,” Camila said.

Normani chuckled dryly. “And two teenagers of color laughing over shitty paint names is exciting?”

“Maybe.” Camila shrugged as her gaze moved to a paint can called ‘Bagel’. “You don’t see that shit every day.”

“That’s cause there ain’t a Walmart in Silver.”

“Are you implying that you would obsessively look at paint names if we had a Walmart in Silver?”

Normani grinned and playfully nudged her. “No, _you’re_ implying that.”

“Whatever,” Camila huffed. “I’m gonna see if they have any cool Barbie toys. Gotta keep my eyes and ears open in case Sofi wants a gift.”

Her best friend’s eyebrows shot up. “But didn’t her birthday already pass?”

Camila nodded. “Yeah, but I always gotta look out for my family. The Barbie toys these days are so much… _fancier_ than when I was a kid.” Her mouth immediately shut when she swore she heard Normani mutter that she wished she could have access to plenty of fancy “rich kid” toys as a kid. “It’s still all pretentious. The real fun is when you strip them naked and rip their heads off.”

“You’re a sadist.”

“I kind of agree with you there,” Camila said with a breathy laugh.

Normani chuckled once again and glanced ahead. “Listen, I’mma go off to the clothes section of Walmart. Don’t judge me, but they have some dope clothes that are cheap too. Like this shirt?” She pointed to her loose-fit t-shirt. “Got it at the best fashion store around, Target.”

Camila had to laugh. Funny how everyone assumed rich people didn’t shop at Target. All of Camila’s socks came from Target, and the wacky ones came from online stores. “Damn Mani, look at you go. Let me know if you find anything in my size.”

She nodded and saluted. “Will do. Godspeed, pilgrim.”

“Happy trails to you,” Camila replied.

Just as Normani started walking off, Camila’s phone started buzzing in her coat pocket. “Huh,” she mused. “I wonder who could be bothering lil ol’ Camila at this hour.” She hummed in thought. “I bet Dinah broke something.” To her surprise (and horror), it was none other than Ariana Grande calling. Her eyes narrowed. Why the hell was this bitch calling now? What could she even want from her? Hadn’t she caused enough pain? Camila stared at her phone, nose crinkling at Ariana’s profile pic. It was a picture of them taken at Shawn Mendes’s Barbecue Bash for the Fourth of July back when Camila was into Shawn. Ariana and Camila, both in matching outfits, posed proudly on a low tree branch with their dumb star glasses and tacky American flag pants. She had fun at that party. That party was back before the storm came in and changed her life. Lauren was a beautiful storm followed by a gorgeous Dinah tornado, but still, a force of nature that really broke her norms. Camila’s life would never be the same after that.

So lost in her thoughts, Camila let the call go to voicemail. _It’s for the best,_ she told herself. _Ari betrayed you._

She still never missed calls from her.

One more ring was all it took for Camila to give in. She had soft spots for her friends. _All_ of them. They say to never wear your heart on a sleeve, but Camila did it all the time.

“Hello?”

_“Mila…”_

Jesus Christ, desperate much? Camila bit her lip. “Don’t call me that. Only my friends use nicknames.”

 _“But we’re-”_ Ariana started to protest, but she stopped mid-sentence. She heard her former friend exhale. _“Okay.”_

Camila took a deep breath. “Why are you calling me?”

_“Because… Uh, because… I wanted to know where you’ve been. You haven’t been at school all week.”_

“Oh,” Camila mumbled. “I’m at Lake Tawakoni with Mani, Ally, Lauren, and Dinah.”

Ariana’s breath hitched. _“You’re at the lake house without me?”_

Was this girl for real? Camila rolled her eyes as she made her way out of the hardware section. “It was my papa’s suggestion. Just a week away from the craziness. We aren’t exactly on great terms, you know? I wasn’t just going to drop everything and invite someone who had been calling my friends and me names. I think you’re forgetting-”

 _“Jesus, Mila, I didn’t forget,”_ Ariana snapped, catching Camila off guard. _“It’s been eating me alive all week. Selfishly it’s because I’m not captain of the squad anymore, and since the actual named captain for the next month is missing… I’m in a constant state of anxiety.”_ Ariana let out a breathy laugh. _“I really fucked up this time, didn’t I?”_

“Yeah, you did.” Camila didn’t even bother trying to sound sympathetic.

 _“But you have to believe me when I say I didn’t vandalize your locker,”_ she continued. _“When you accused me of doing that, my body went into self-defense mode, and I was so shitty. I’m just… I’m scared of change. And Camila Cabello, you’re not the same girl I befriended on Graves’s playground all those years ago.”_

Camila swallowed the lump in her throat, running a hand through her dark tresses. “Maybe I am,” she replied. “You just don’t like what you see now because I’m finally showing who I am.”

_“Mila, no, that’s not what I’m saying-”_

“It’s Camila. My name is Camila.”

 _“What I’m trying to say is… I’m sorry.”_ That caught Camila’s attention. She stopped in her tracks and gripped her phone close to her ear. _“I’m sorry for tormenting Dinah and Lauren because I spent all my childhood hating them. Even though they’re poor trash and they certainly act like a bunch of closeted lezzies, they had something I didn’t: happiness. They found solace in each other, and all the joy I found was being a tyrannical bitch. And now they were taking away the only real friend I ever made, you, and I needed you. I still need you because you make me feel that happiness that I see Dinah and Lauren have all the damn time.”_

Camila held her breath, unsure what to say. This was the Ariana that she needed to see last week, the Ariana that she craved her whole life. And now she was back, Camila’s heart yearned for her.

 _“Most importantly, I owe you an apology. I’m so sorry for being the worst friend you’ve ever seen. I’m sure you started hanging out with them because I -- well, you know me -- I’m a fucking bitch. I started making you feel insecure about who you are because of the rumors swirling around about you and Dinah and Lauren. When I saw you and Lauren together, I was disgusted because I didn’t want you to be a fucking homo.”_ Ariana took a deep breath. _“But listen, despite all my feelings about gay people, if that’s what you are, I’m not gonna bother you about it anymore. Love the sinner, hate the sin, right?”_

Camila let out the breath she was holding. She wasn’t sure if she should continue to deny it, but Ariana’s speech really moved her. “First of all, I’m not-” Her breath hitched. “I-” Oh no, there was no way she was going to cry in a damn Walmart. “Ari, I-”

 _“It’s okay, Camila. I know,”_ Ariana said reassuringly. _“It’ll take a while… but I don’t think I could hate you any less for it. Not ever. I can’t lose my best friend again.”_

And with that, Camila burst into tears. She leaned up against the aisle rack and covered her mouth with her hand. Her best friend, her homophobic best friend, willing to accept her. She was willing to try and change her thinking for _her._ Camila couldn’t believe it. “Ari… I love them so much,” she blurted out. “Please don’t hate me. Please don’t tell anyone.”

 _“Hey, no, I’m not gonna tell anyone,”_ Ariana assured her. _“I’m kind of shocked… Because what you just told me is bigger news. I’m gonna… put some electroshock therapy on me to not think like-”_

“Ariana,” Camila chastised with a laugh. “Don’t joke about that.”

Ariana laughed softly. _“Sorry. I couldn’t resist.”_ She sighed. _“Listen… I gotta go get ready for cheer practice, but don’t be a stranger, alright? I expect full details about your… relationships. Meanwhile, I’m going to look up and see if there’s a way to like… get rid of my homophobia. I don’t know if that’s possible, but I promise you, Camila Cabello, you won’t ever hear me call you or your girls dy- the d-word ever again.”_

Camila let out a happy sob and quickly wiped her eyes. “Thank you, Ari. Thank you…” She took a deep breath. “By the way, I forgive you.”

Ariana’s breath hitched. _“Thank you… Thank you. Goodbye, Mila. Have a nice vacation.”_

“I will. Bye, Ari,” Camila said before hanging up. She practically squealed in excitement. That was an unbelievable and unlikely ending to Ariana and Camila’s fight. She couldn’t even believe it. But first, she had to tell Normani. Normani would know what to do because deep down a part of her still felt like this was a lie. Ariana would come through and torment her once again now that Camila had basically admitted that she wasn’t straight.

She took off into a speed walk and searched around the store for her best friend. To her surprise, she didn’t find Normani in the clothing section, which made Camila wonder if she spent too long on the phone. When Normani and she went shopping at the mall in Tyler, Normani spent hours and hours looking over dresses. Camila insisted she would pay for them, but Normani always looked for the cheapest one that looked hot. She could never understand what it was like to be poor.

Her desperate search for Normani Kordei ended when she found her best friend testing out headphones in the electronics section. The sight made Camila smile endearingly as she watched her bob her head to the music, eyes closed and body swaying. Camila walked up to the TV screen that showed what was playing. Her eyebrows shot upwards. “Mani, I didn’t know you were a closeted emo. ‘Welcome To The Black Parade’, really?”

Normani nearly threw her headphones off and gasped. “Mila! I-” She gulped. “You caught me. Yeah, I like My Chemical Romance.”

Camila roared with laughter. “Oh my gosh. That’s completely unexpected. I just… _Wow.”_

“Shut up, Mila. Don’t tell our friends, or I’ll never hear the end of it.”

“No shit,” Camila giggled. “Dinah would tease the shit out of you. Although, I know for a fact that she thinks Mozart’s _Symphony No. 25_ is a ‘fucking bop.’” She grinned and shook her head. “You know about her classical music obsession, right?”

“Fully aware of it. She sent me a full CD of _Brandenburg Concertos._ She said it would change my life.” Normani rolled her eyes. “Me? I think it’s full of _merde._ ”

Camila playfully shoved her. “Shhh. Be nice.”

“She ain’t here. I can say what I want!” Normani said defensively.

“By the way… Ariana called,” Camila mumbled.

She noticed that Normani tensed up. Her friend’s brows furrowed. “And?”

“We’re okay now,” Camila said with a sigh of relief. “She won’t be calling me a dyke ever again. She knows about me.” Normani’s eyebrow cocked upwards. Camila gave her a reassuring look. “Things are going to be different now. That’s what she told me, I swear. Mani, she apologized. I think…” She reached over to grab Normani’s hand, intertwining their fingers. “I think the Ariana that we both know and love is coming back.”

Normani’s grin matched hers. “Or maybe she never left. She just was too scared to show her true colors again.”

“Regardless, I missed her.”

“Me too.”

Camila sighed and rested her head on Normani’s shoulder before realization dawned on her. “Oh, fuck.” She facepalmed. “We forgot to get flour. Ally’s probably thinking we died.”

Normani chuckled loudly. “Oh, Mila. Always so dramatic.”

The brunette rolled her eyes and tugged her best friend off to the grocery section.

* * *

Camila wished she had stayed home. However, staying home would mean that she would have to third wheel Normani and Ally, and she really didn’t feel like binge-watching documentaries while the couple made out on the couch next to her. And saying no to the group date that Dinah had planned would be completely uncool. When Dinah told them about it last night, Camila couldn’t say no when Dinah’s eyes lit up when she gushed about how excited she was to go bowling.

“It’ll be so much fun guys, come on,” Dinah begged. “Everyone will have fun, and I’m really sick of the dates where we stay in and watch movies.”

“The one in Mineola is closed,” Lauren pointed out as she turned the page of _Tenth of December._ She was the only one of the trio not actively paying attention while Dinah ranted excitedly. Which was obvious, they weren’t even near Mineola. Stupid Lauren.

Camila nodded along with Dinah, playing with her hands that were in her lap. “The nearest bowling alleys to the lakehouse are in Dallas. Why should we drive all the way out there? Plus we’d draw attention to ourselves…”

“Dallas is a city, Mila. A city. We’ll be fine,” Dinah reassured her.

“Big bowling alleys scare me,” Lauren said. “Do we have to?”

Camila ignored Lauren’s dumb whining. “Fine, we can go. You’re right. I don’t think we’ll draw too much attention to ourselves when we’re in the city. Everyone else will be just as loud and obnoxious as us.”

Yet Camila forgot to factor in that she was terrible at bowling. While Dinah and Lauren were neck and neck for taking the lead, Camila was a solid thirty points behind. She decided to just sulk in the corner while her girlfriends gloated over their victories.

“Wham, bam, thank you, ma’am,” Dinah cheered. “Another strike for Dinah Ja-ane.”

Lauren huffed loudly. “That was pure luck. Your form was terrible.”

“Oh, quit your whining. You’re just pressed that you ain’t as talented as me.” Dinah flipped her hair. “Don’t worry, boo. Hopefully, these talents are genetic, and our baby Cabello-Jauregui-Hansen will be the _legend_ of bowling.”

“Bold of you to assume we’ll still be together after this date,” Lauren grumbled. She glanced up at the scoreboard before her annoyed expression turned to one of glee. “Camzi, it’s your go.”

Camila snorted in disgust and shook her head. “Nah, I’m good. Someone else should bowl for me.”

“Hey, Lauser, don’t be too upset. At least you don’t suck as much as Mila.”

Camila scowled. “Oh, fuck off, Dinah,” she growled, clearly butt-hurt. She was fully aware that she wasn’t talented, but she didn’t need her blonde girlfriend to rub it in. “I’ll show you.” She marched up and grabbed one of the lighter balls, sending Dinah an annoyed glare. Lauren chortled in amusement. Camila stuck her fingers in the little holes and squatted. She rolled her shoulders before throwing the ball hard on the lane. She grinned triumphantly as it rolled steadily down the middle. “See? I don’t totally suck. Watch who you call-” She heard the familiar thud that meant that her ball went into the gutter and swore under her breath. Dinah roared with laughter. “Never mind then.”

Lauren shook her head and practically skipped over to wrap her arms around her. “Aw, Camz, don’t be sad. I’m not judging you for your bad bowling skills. Here, let me help you this time.”

Camila shook her head. “I don’t need help. Just face it, this is hopeless and humiliating.”

“If I only know you sucked this much at bowling, I would’ve suggested mini-golf. Then again, I bet you suck at that too,” Dinah cackled.

“Not all of us can calculate which angles will hit most pins or what the velocity of your throw should be for maximum effect, Dinah,” Lauren said defensively. “Be a good girlfriend, and give her a hand.”

Dinah sighed loudly and crossed her arms. “Alright, you may have a point, Lauser. I’ll come help you out.”

Once Camila’s ball returned, Lauren reached over and picked it up before handing it to Camila. She placed her hand on the small of her back and guided her to the lane. Dinah followed behind them and placed her hand on Camila’s shoulder. “Okay. First thing’s first, you gotta calculate the angle of entry. Your goal is to hit between the first and third pins for a perfect strike. If you calculate that correctly, your ball’s path should not stray past 1.67 degrees. It shouldn’t be a straight ball, and it should only curve about 1 degree-”

“Jesus Christ, Dinah,” Lauren interrupted. “She needs bowling tips, not a physics lesson.”

“Well, that’s how I understand it! In order to achieve a perfect strike, standing 6.3 feet to the side of the pocket and aim for the six-degree angle because that’s the result if you multiply-”

Camila swallowed the lump in her throat. “I think that made me even more confused.”

“Oh my God.” Dinah facepalmed. “It’s like you guys never even studied Geometry! The equation of the perfect velocity for this would be-”

Lauren clamped her hand over Dinah’s mouth to shut her up. “I think I’m going to take it from here.” She placed her hands on Camila’s hips and shifted her so she was facing a completely different direction than where she was before. “Your body should be in a bit more of an open stance. Don’t shift your hips to face where you wanna go. Otherwise, it’s going to be a disaster.” She moved her hands from Camila’s waist to her arms and adjusted them accordingly. “Stick your dominant hand’s fingers in the ball. User your non-dominant hand to hold it. Palm it like you’re holding a globe.” Camila bit her lip and followed her girlfriend’s instructions. Although, the ball was very heavy. Lauren’s strong grip on her kept her in place.

“Naturally, your ball is going to veer to the left,” Lauren informed her.

“Which is why you must make sure you shoot at that perfect 1.67-degree angle-”

Lauren scowled. “Dinah.”

The blonde held her hands up in defense. “Oh, yes, shut the nerd up because she’s making it worse for everyone. Homie gets a 4.5 GPA -- yes, 4.5 -- I did amazing last semester, but she still gets shit on by her girls.”

“This has nothing to do with your intelligence,” Camila replied. “We know you’re smart, babe. You’re just not good at explaining things.”

Dinah shrugged. “Well, when you put it that way, you ain’t wrong.”

Camila clutched the bowling ball tightly. “So then where am I supposed to aim?”

“The first and third pin, the space in between the middle one and one to its left, our right,” Lauren answered. “The hope is that it’ll hit the middle pin and cause a ripple effect, knocking down all the other pins.” She moved her hands down back to Camila’s waist, hands moving dangerously close to her behind. “Go on, try it, baby,” she encouraged.

Camila took a deep breath and rolled the ball like she remembered those Miis doing in _Wii Sports._ The ball rolled at a steady speed, curving just slightly towards the right in the end. She heard Dinah mumble excitedly about that angle being near three-quarters of a degree. The ball missed the ideal destination but still hit the pins at the third pin. Nine pins down. Camila beamed. “Woah! I did it.”

“See? You got the right idea, Camz. Just a little bit more to the left, and that would have been perfect.”

Camila giggled in glee and spun around, pulling Lauren down into a deep kiss. Her eyes squeezed shut as her girlfriend hesitated but then kissed back. It only then hit her that she was kissing Lauren in public. _Nice job, Cabello. And you wonder why people would write “dyke” on your locker._ She was so careless. She pulled away and distanced herself from Lauren slightly, glancing around the alley in case anyone saw them. No one was looking in their direction. Shit. “I- Lauren, I’m sorry. I freaked out.”

“Baby, it’s fine,” Lauren assured her. “I’m not mad.” A small, proud smile formed on her lips. “I think this is the first time you’ve kissed me in public since… since our first date.”

“I…” Camila broke out into a smile that matched hers. “I think so too.”

Dinah cleared her throat from behind them. Camila jumped in shock and turned around. “Oh, shoot, Dinah. I was so caught up in the moment. I should’ve-”

“Nah, chick, chill,” Dinah laughed. “Lauren’s a better kisser _and_ bowling teacher anyway.”

“Oh, shush, Cheechee. You’re a great kisser,” Camila argued. “And I’ll prove it to you right now here-” She broke out of Lauren’s embrace and grabbed Dinah’s arm. She stopped when she felt eyes on her from the arcade area, judging her for her sins. Camila froze in her spot. “I- Someone was looking at me.”

Dinah’s eyes narrowed protectively. “Where, baby? I’ll beat them up.”

“The arcade area,” Camila answered, pointing in that direction. “They were staring at me.”

“Camz, no one’s currently in the arcade area.”

Camila’s eyes bulged out. “But I swore I-” Her breath hitched. “I-” A look of defeat formed on her features. “I’m so pathetic.” She ran a hand through her tresses. “I’m so paranoid that people are going to see me and judge me. Shit, I don’t even live here, and I’m afraid that word’s going to spread back home. I need to stop being so sloppy. People are calling me names and writing graffiti, and _fuck_ …” Camila scratched her head furiously. “How do you do it? How do you ignore the blatant homophobia that we all face?”

Dinah and Lauren were both silent. The two girls exchanged glances before they led Camila to sit down on one of the couches. Lauren sat on her left, Dinah on Camila’s right, and began comforting her. “I’ll be damn honest with you, Mila,” Dinah said. “It doesn’t go away. I can’t ignore it either. Lauren and I… We grew up with different rules than you, different standards. Lord knows what your family’s going to say, and I pray it ain’t similar to mine.” Dinah smiled. “What makes us different is that we’ve kinda just owned up to it. Lauren, especially.”

“I’m a big ass fucking dyke, and I love eating pussy,” Lauren said in agreement, earning a loud giggle from Camila. “That’s just how it goes, Camz. You gotta embrace it. People are always gonna say shit, but you can choose to not be the victim. They call you a dyke? You say, _damn_ right I’m a dyke. I’m gonna steal your girlfriend ‘cause you ain’t shit.”

Camila grabbed Lauren’s arm and forced her to wrap her arm around her. Lauren smiled widely and kissed her cheek. “You have a point, but I just… I’m not gonna shout it on my rooftops. Take a look at Dinah. Your family-”

“The only family I have now are Lauren and you,” Dinah interrupted. “I don’t need them if they ain’t gonna love me for who I am.” She grinned. “Oh, Naki and Regina are alright too. I suppose.”

“You know what I think you need, Camz? You need to tell all these strangers that you’re gay.”

“WHAT!?”

Dinah chuckled. “And they say I’m the heathen.”

Lauren nodded. “No, seriously. Stand up and tell these fuckers who you are.” She stood up and dragged Camila out of her seat.

“Lo, I really don’t think this is a good idea-”

“Well, I think it’s brilliant, and I’m older and wiser than you.”

Camila raised a brow. “You’re currently suspended for a week for almost punching Ariana.”

Lauren shrugged nonchalantly. “I didn’t say I made good decisions.”

“And you consider this a good decision?” Dinah chimed in. “Damn, Lauser, you’ve really lost it now.”

Lauren grabbed Camila’s shoulders and turned her body so she was facing away from the lanes. “I want you to say this: My name is Camila Cabello, and I’m a motherfucking dyke, and I love my two girlfriends very, very much.”

Camila nearly gagged at the thought. “Lauren- I can’t.”

“C’mon, please?”

“No!”

“It’s not that hard.”

“Lo, you’re asking me to out myself in front of all these strangers-”

Dinah leaned forward. “Psst, Mila,” she whispered. Camila’s gaze locked on her blonde girlfriend. “If you do this, I’ll do that thing with my fingers that you really love.” She gulped, very inappropriate thoughts coming into her head and sending heat right to her- Dammit! They were in a kids place. This was no time to get a lady boner.

Camila’s horny teenage boy side always won. “Add your magic tongue in, and it’s a deal.” Dinah grinned and gave her a thumbs up.

She took a courageous step forward and put her hands on her hips. “Hey, everyone!” She shouted. She managed to catch the attention of several patrons, which made her stomach drop, but she tried to not let that get to her. “My name is Camila Cabello. And guess what? I’m a motherfucking dyke. That’s right. I _love_ pussy. Y’all get off with your springy little dickies. Me? I’ve got pussy.” A mother scowled and moved to cover the ears of her young child. “Oh, and also? Not only do I have one girlfriend… I got two! We’re in a happy, healthy, loving relationship. So, you can suck on that!” Before Camila could gauge their reactions, she practically threw her bowling shoes off. For some reason, that felt so relieving and invigorating. Was this what Dinah felt when she told her mother off when she came out? Did Lauren feel this way when she confronted Ariana in the hallway? There was something so powerful about accepting who she was. Maybe she didn’t completely accept herself, but it was a start. One day she’ll tell her mom and dad without worrying about the consequences. “Okay, we’re done here. Let’s go home, and I expect your end of the bargain to be filled, Dinah Jane.”

“Hey! What about me?” Lauren asked.

“Oh, don’t you worry,” Camila smirked. “You’ve got something coming your way too, baby girl. Don’t think that this stunt you pulled will go unpunished. Dinah and I are going to have _so_ much fun with you, darling.”

“As we always do,” Dinah agreed with a wink as she pulled Camila into a side-hug and planted a big kiss on her lips. “Let’s go, ladies. We got a long drive in the dark back.”


	25. twenty-five: oh, golly, can we cut the maren morris singing session out, you pathetic gays?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello i am here. catch me disappear for another month, i bet because i'm a mess, but at least i'm upholding my promises. pls don't hate me too much for this chapter.

It wasn’t exactly shorts and t-shirts weather in Silver, but it was definitely t-shirts and leggings weather. Most of the town was just glad that Spring was officially in full force. And by the first week of April, lots of people were sent their college acceptance letters or enrolling in their top choices. Normani ended up getting accepted into UNCSA, her first choice, and TSU, but she still wasn’t one hundred percent sure of what she wanted to do. Normani always wanted to be a dancer, but Camila didn’t think that she should go to a school in Nashville just because her friends were going there.

“I don’t wanna leave you,” was Normani’s argument, but Camila had to remind her that 1. She was still a junior and 2. She still had no idea where she wanted to go to school. Hell, she had standardized testing to worry about. Plus, the end of the year was looming, and that meant the goddamn STAAR tests that the state required as the final course exam.

Ally, on the other hand, already committed to attending Belmont University. When Camila told Ally of Dinah’s plans to go to Vanderbilt, Ally laughed and said that she had thought about applying there, but she wasn’t sure she’d like a Southeastern Conference school. Plus, Belmont was a Christian school, and she’d feel right at home.

She hoped the couple would figure it out eventually.

Shawn received a football scholarship to UT Austin. All Camila could say was, “Good for him.”

Ariana wouldn’t shut up about her future, which Camila had to endure for the past fifteen minutes while Ariana drew a butterfly on her arm with her sharpie during study hall. “I’m super excited for Texas A&M. As soon as I saw the campus, I _knew_ I’d fall in love. Plus, the sorority life looks amazing.”

“Greek Rank says otherwise,” Hailee remarked.

Ariana scoffed. “You seriously trust Greek Rank? Everyone knows it’s all fake. Full of self-rankers and people who hate for no reason.”

“Exactly, that’s a representation of Greek Life. It’s shit and pretentious.”

Camila shrugged. “Hey, Haiz, if she wants to rush, let her do it. I think she’d be a model sister.”

Ariana grinned. “Aww, Mila,” she cooed. “You’re too kind.” She narrowed her eyes in concentration. “Now, stop moving. I’m tryna’ get this wing right.”

“The butterfly still looks like shit. I think you’re trying to draw a moth.”

Her friend scoffed. “Oh, hush. I don’t think moths are blue. Hailee, look it up. Are there moth breeds that are blue? Specifically, _sharpie blue_?”

Hailee shrugged indifferently and pulled her phone out. Her eyebrows shot up. “Huh, well, I’ll be. Ari, there _is_ a blue moth. It’s called a Silvery blue, and it’s found in Canada and the western U.S.”

Camila chuckled. “I hope it’s pretty at least.”

“Yes, Mila, you got a beautiful Silvery blue moth on your forearm now,” Hailee said with a grin.

Study Hall had never felt so relaxed in Camila’s opinion. This was the first time in a long time she chose to spend it in the classroom instead of with Dinah, Lauren, and the boys. Her teacher always assumed Camila went to the library during that time. Spending it with Ariana and the other popular girls was surprisingly enjoyable so far.

Normani finally looked up from her phone. “Steinfeld’s lying. The Silvery blue is a butterfly.” Hailee let out a defeated huff. “Sorry, I know you were tryna be funny.”

“You ain’t sorry,” Hailee hummed.

“How did you know?” Normani retorted with a grin.

“And I am…” Ariana drawled before making a few more strokes on Camila’s arm, “done!” She capped the marker and beamed up at her. “Take a look, and tell me what you think.”

Camila blinked slowly and looked down at her arm. She wouldn’t say that it was the best drawing of a butterfly she had ever seen, but it definitely didn’t look like a moth like Hailee had claimed it did. And of course, like her lovesick brain always did, her thoughts immediately went to how Lauren would do a better job. She was quite the artist and even designed the dragonfly she wanted for her first tattoo. “Would it be rude of me to say I think Lauren could do a better job?” Camila asked uncertainly.

Ariana scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Ugh. Your obsession with Jauregui is making my insides bleed and barf.”

“Hey, she’s not as bad as you think she is,” Camila shot back. “Just give her a chance.”

“She’s mean.” Ariana blinked slowly.

Normani snorted. “That’s the pot calling the kettle black.”

“Oh, put a sock in it, Kordei. You can be just as nasty,” she fired back. Insult after insult, Camila wondered if Ariana ever choked on the venom that she spewed out all the time.

_“Good morning, Harrison High! This is Principal Johnson with a very special announcement regarding our 2018 Junior and Senior Prom.”_

Ariana gasped excitedly and practically leaped out of her chair. “Everyone! Shut up!” she scolded the class filled with juniors and seniors. “This is the moment I’ve been waiting for all year. I’ll be damned if you dumbos interrupt and ruin _everything._ ”

Camila rolled her eyes.

_“Our finalists for this year’s theme have been chosen by the prom committee. Roaring ‘20s, Alice in Wonderland, and The Emerald City are the top three themes. Seniors, you’ll be able to cast your votes for your favorite theme during lunch.”_

Hailee sighed loudly. “I really wanted the Yule Ball theme, but nobody else in student council is an avid Harry Potter fan as I am.”

Camila gave her a comforting smile. “Hey, we still have senior year to get our special theme.”

“Shhhh,” Ariana shushed them abruptly, glaring at them both like they just said that her makeup wasn’t on point.

 _“Most importantly, I will be announcing our nominees for the 2018 Prom Court! It was a tough decision and a close call in many cases, but the nominees have been narrowed down to four for both King and Queen.”_ Principal Johnson cleared his throat. _“For King…”_

From the corner of her eye, Camila saw Ariana lick her lips in anticipation.

_“Shawn Mendes.”_

Manly hoots and hollers came from the other side of the room as Shawn’s buddies clapped him on the back. The boy looked up and made eye contact, sending a wink in her direction. Camila scowled and looked away.

_“Austin Mahone.”_

Shawn’s buddies cheered even louder for Austin. Shawn looked a little bewildered as Austin grinned at him. “Ohhh, damn, sorry, buddy,” Austin said. “Looks like you’re on your own. King Mahone is coming for the throne!” Austin’s friends hooted and yelled. Normani rolled her eyes and muttered something derogatory about men under her breath.

_“Harry Styles.”_

Camila clapped loudly. “Oh, good for him! He totally deserves it!” she said gleefully.

Hailee sighed dreamily. “And he’s such a hunk too.”

She totally imagined Dinah and Lauren teasing the shit out of him downstairs in the band room. Wow, she was totally getting separation anxiety, and she literally saw them last period for math. God, she really wished she could just kiss either of them.

_“And finally… Andrew Bazzi.”_

“Oh,” Camila and Normani both vocalized their surprise. Everyone addressed him as Bazzi, and he was actually a really nice guy. His dad owned Twin Lakes Diner, but Bazzi spent most of his time helping out at school. He was secretary of student council, former co-creator of Model UN that quickly died after the first day because only Ally joined the club, and he was the leader of the debate team. Of all the people on that list, Bazzi was the least problematic. Why not, Harry? Harry was probably most likely to forfeit.

Ariana smiled warmly. “I like him. He’s a pretty cool guy.”

_“And our nominees for Prom Queen…”_

Ariana squealed. “Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.”

Normani leaned over to whisper into Camila’s ear. “She does realize that she’s gonna get nominated, right? Like she can’t be _that_ dumb.”

“Shh,” Camila said with a breathy laugh. “She’s having a good time. Let her have her fun.”

_“Ariana Grande.”_

“YES!” Ariana screamed. Everyone looked at her in surprise but clapped loudly. “I love y’all so much. Thank you for nominating me, seriously. So honored here.”

Camila beamed, knowing damn well Ariana would ask Camila to campaign hard for her as queen. She would obviously, but she also wanted to use that as an opportunity to get Ariana and Lauren closer.

_“Normani Kordei.”_

Normani’s eyebrows rose in surprise, but the look on Ariana’s face was priceless. She was almost furious, but she quickly composed herself and sent Normani a pained smile. Camila threw an arm around Normani and hugged her. “Ugh, my _queen,_ ” she gushed.

“Oh, shut it before I slap you, Mila,” her best friend grumbled in reply.

_“Ally Brooke Hernandez.”_

Normani’s face immediately lit up as she looked across the room to meet her girlfriend’s gaze. Ally grinned back at her and pointed excitedly, mouthing, “I can’t believe it.”

_“Camila Cabello.”_

_No way._ Camila groaned loudly. “But I’m a junior…” she mumbled. That was her worst fear: being nominated as prom queen while she was up against her friends. Not only would she have to deal with Ariana literally wanting her dead, Dinah and Lauren would probably push Camila so hard to win. Their precious girlfriend wearing a plastic crown. God, she wanted the crown to go to Ariana or Normani… _Anybody_ but her.

_“This concludes our announcements. Voting for your Prom Court will start next week.”_

Camila let out an exasperated sigh. “Ari, you know I didn’t purposely campaign to be nominated, right?” she pointed out.

Ariana pursed her lips, running a hand through her long ponytail. “Of course. The school just has to nominate a token junior so everyone will feel included. I was nominated last year, remember? Basically, the junior nominated this year is almost guaranteed to win next year.”

“Ouch,” Hailee laughed. “Guess I’m not gonna be prom queen.”

“Sorry, Haiz, as I’ve said multiple times, you’re kind of irrelevant,” Ariana said with a sympathetic smile. She turned to Normani and held her hand out. “No hard feelings, right?”

“Listen, Grande, they ain’t ever gonna let a black girl win prom queen. Not in this town,” Normani remarked while shaking her head. “I’d rather stay as far from the spotlight as possible.”

Camila raised a brow. “But Mani… you’ve been a pageant queen multiple times! Prom queen is just another crown you deserve to win.”

“I don’t agree with you, but go off I guess,” Normani replied.

Ariana laughed and put a hand on Normani’s shoulder. “Mani, off the record, you have just as much of a chance at winning as me. You have in with the unpopular crowd.” She laughed bitterly. “I know people at this school hate my guts.”

At that remark, Normani’s brows furrowed in thought. Camila seriously hoped that Normani would consider campaigning. It would be the battle of the century and talk of the town for sure. Honestly, Camila just needed attention off of her back after the shit that went down last month. “You know what? I think I might just do it.” She grinned mischievously up at the cheerleader that, for once, had the height advantage. “May the best woman win.”

Ariana beamed widely and sent the girl a wink. “May the best woman win,” she repeated.

* * *

“I have a favor to ask you.”

Ariana let out a breathy laugh. “I don’t do favors for people. People do favors for me.”

 _“Ariana,”_ Camila huffed. “Just hear me out, alright?” The short brunette quirked her brow and then nodded, giving Camila the go-ahead to speak. “I want you to sit with me at lunch.”

“Really?” Ariana rolled her eyes. “Mila, that’s dumb. Of course, I’ll sit with you! I’m so glad to have you back at the cheerleader table. It’s been so weird to not have Mani and you there-”

“No,” Camila interrupted. “I meant with Lauren, Dinah, Ally, and the boys.” Ariana stopped dead in her tracks, clutching her lunch box close to her. She gave her a completely shocked look. Camila nodded. “Yeah. The first step of fixing things for the better is for you to properly talk to the most important people in my life.” She glanced over at the circular table where her girlfriends, Normani, and Ally already sat and then back at Ariana. “C’mon, please?”

The short brunette sighed loudly. “I can’t believe you’re actually- Mila, they don’t want me there. They’re gonna tear me apart.”

“Not unless you provoke them,” Camila countered.

“Jauregui’s hated my guts since Sunday School. I think it’s too late for me to make amends for telling on Pastor Hernandez because she drank the grape juice for communion.” Ariana scowled. “I had a perfectly good reason for telling on her!”

Camila smirked. “You think she hates you because of what she did when she was, like, what? Five?”

Ariana stiffened. “Among other things…” She cleared her throat, barely glancing at that circular table. “Alright, I’ll have lunch with you. However, if either Jauregui or Hansen give me any shit, bless their hearts, I’m gonna do far worse than what I did in the hallway.”

“Ariana.”

“Fine, I’ll _peacefully_ walk away,” Ariana scoffed. “That ain’t me though.”

Camila chuckled and grabbed Ariana’s arm, dragging her towards the four girls having a full-blown conversation.

“But I have so many amazing ideas if the Roaring ‘20s theme wins! Bright gold decorations, jazz music, fruity cocktails, flapper dresses, feathers, big balloons, fireworks... _The Great Gatsby_ soundtrack is absolutely stunning,” Ally gushed excitedly. “The song with Fergie I listen to when I need to get in my zone.”

“And don’t forget ‘Young & Beautiful’ was born from this masterpiece of a movie,” Lauren added on.

Dinah grinned. “I only watched it for Leo DiCaprio. Ugh, what a man.”

“Careful, Dinah, your straight is showing,” Normani teased.

“Oh my God, is this really how lezzies talk?” Ariana said under her breath. “Jesus, just throw in a butch haircut on Jauregui, and we’ll have a real party.”

Camila scowled. “Quiet,” she hissed.

“Sorry, old habit,” she apologized quickly; although, Camila wasn’t sure if she actually meant it.

With a big smile, Camila plopped down in one of the two empty seats at the table. “Hello, my ladies! What’s up with you guys?” she greeted exuberantly while Ariana took a seat next to her. Camila looked around the table to gauge everyone’s reactions. Ally looked surprised but not in a bad way. Normani looked slightly amused but also had the look that said, “Mila, you’re such a dumbass.” Dinah looked perplexed, a little shocked, but she didn’t seem too outraged. Lauren was obviously pissed. Her fork dropped out of her hand as her green eyes shot daggers at Ariana.

“Well, I’m alright,” Ally continued the conversation like it was normal. “Congratulations on your prom queen nomination! I didn’t get to say so during English, but it’s well-deserved.”

“Thank you, to you as well,” Camila replied. “I think it’s going to be a tough race this year.”

Ariana remained silent and unpacked her lunch, which was very uncharacteristic of her.

“As long as this doesn’t turn into an unhealthy bitch fest, I’m all for a little competition,” Normani added. “I’ve heard too many war cries of ‘Mahone for the Throne’ for my virgin ears to enjoy.”

“Virgin ears,” Dinah chortled under her breath.

Ariana pulled out her bag of chips. “Want some, Mila? I’m not a huge fan of these, but my mama thinks they’re the best thing since sliced bread.”

Camila glanced over to see what she had. “Pringles? What the hell kind of planet are you on? Pringles are the _best,_ ” she said exuberantly as she snatched the Ziplock bag full of chips from her. “God is real, and she’s a woman.” Ariana giggled quietly.

“Yo,” Lauren said finally, banging her fist on the table. “Are we going to address the elephant in the room? Ariana Grande is sitting at our table!” she hissed.

“Acute observation skills, Jauregui,” Ariana replied. “Do you want a cookie?”

Lauren’s nostrils flared as moved to stand up. “Why, you little-”

“Ariana, what did I tell you?” Camila chastised.

“Lauren, cut it out,” Dinah chastised at the same time.

Camila glared at her short best friend. Ariana rolled her eyes. “Yes, yes, I know. Play nice for Jauregui because deep down, she’s actually a decent freaking person or whatever.” She laughed bitterly. “I ain’t seeing it. I thought you lezzies were supposed to be _fun._ ”

Lauren raised a brow and crossed her arms over her chest protectively. Dinah snorted loudly, subtly placing a hand on Lauren’s thigh, except anyone and their mother could see the obvious physical contact. Normani let out a loud exasperated sigh that exactly matched how Camila was feeling at the moment.

“Sheesh, tough crowd,” Ariana continued. “I seriously hope there are gays at this school to balance out this sapphic disaster.” Camila’s eyes bulged out and coughed. Maybe hinting Ariana about her sexuality was a mistake because this was a nightmare. Here she actually thought Ariana would change for the better. Or was this her shitty way of relating to them? Camila had no freaking idea. “Oh my Lord. There _are._ Mila, you’ve got to tell me who-”

“First of all, bitch, stop calling us lezzies,” Lauren snapped. “I’ve said it once. I’ll say it a thousand times that-”

“Denying your girlfriends in public? Please, I already know the details,” Ariana said smugly, looking at Camila proudly. “Camila told me _everything._ I didn’t take you for a bottom, Jauregui. Totally makes your leather jacket get up and violent nature look like a joke.”

Lauren turned bright pink from either embarrassment or fury, Camila couldn’t tell. She glared at Camila. “You… you told her!?” Camila bowed her head and nodded. “Camz, what the hell? Of all the people you could’ve told, you told one of the _most_ homophobic people in town? What are you on? Is it crack? Is that what you smoke? You smoke crack?”

Dinah laughed quietly. “And can I please get some of it?” She grinned and wiggled her brows.

Lauren scowled at her. “ _How_ can _you_ be okay with this? Ariana Grande knows all our fucking secrets because Camila couldn’t keep her mouth shut.”

“Lauren,” Dinah annunciated slowly. “If you really think Ariana was a whole ass homophobe, don’t ya think she would’ve told the whole town? Or at least dropped Camila as a friend?”

“She could’ve been trying to blackmail her… or us.”

Ariana rolled her eyes. “As if I’d spend the last few months of my senior year trying to ruin the lives of some poor, faux bad bitch trailer trash, a demented, gun-obsessed, dumbass dairy farmer, and Camila Cabello.”

“Who you calling a dumbass?” Dinah narrowed her eyes.

“You,” Ariana said bluntly. “You may have skipped a grade or whatever, but sweetie, I don’t think anyone as loud and obnoxious as you could ever be considered clever.”

Dinah chuckled. “Funny, Ariana, did you get a 1600 on your SAT or a 36 on your ACT? I think the fuck not.”

“At least _I’m_ going to college.”

“Yeah, to Texas A&M, they’ll gladly accept you if you’re white, hot, and rich.”

“Ooh, so you think I’m hot?”

“Holy Virgin Mary’s tits, that’s not what I meant.”

Ally shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “The negative energy coming from this table is giving me anxiety,” she mumbled.

“Me the fuck too,” Normani muttered. “The sad thing is that I know she’s totally pulling Dinah’s leg. I can tell the difference between when she’s being a bitch and when she’s not.”

“Lord, I miss the days when Ariana was nice _all_ the time,” Ally laughed.

Ariana cleared her throat. “Just to make myself clear, I would do anything for Camila. I can’t say I was all too pleased to find out that she liked girls at first. But I promised myself that I would try, and so far, it’s been working out for me. She’s still herself, so I realized I was an idiot for thinking she’d be any different for having a girlfriend.” Dinah coughed quietly. “Two girlfriends,” she corrected quickly. “But my opinions still stand. Jauregui and I have been at each other’s throats since we could crawl, and I ain’t sure that’s gonna change.”

Dinah popped an apple slice in her mouth. “And wha’ abou’ me?” she asked with her mouth full.

“The jury’s still out,” Ariana replied. Camila sighed loudly. “Kidding, so far you seem alright in my book.”

“Well, that’s relieving,” Dinah said triumphantly, nudging Lauren’s side. “See that? The rich bitch loves me more than you.”

Lauren looked at Dinah blankly and then looked over at Ariana. “I still don’t like you, but if you’re okay with Camila and us. I suppose I can tolerate you to a degree in public.”

“Good. No more shoving me up against lockers?” Ariana asked playfully.

“As long as you don’t spit in my face,” Lauren retorted; although, Camila could see a hint of a smile on her lips. They were in the clear, and Camila really wished she had a bowl of cookies to eat in celebration.

Normani grinned. “Well, if this ain’t cute and sweet, they’re getting along like lovers,” she teased.

Lauren scowled. “Oh, eat my ass, Normani. No one thinks that but you.”

“I would eat your ass, but that’s two other people’s jobs,” Normani replied as her girlfriend wheezed loudly. Ariana coughed uncomfortably and kept her gaze fixated on her feet. Camila felt so sorry for the poor heterosexual.

“Ahem.”

The six girls looked up from the table to find Harry, Niall, and Louis all standing there with a single fake rose in each their hands. “Oh, hey! The boys are back in town!” Dinah said jovially. “How was your sabbatical involving cracking up a cold one?”

“Shut up, Dinah,” Niall said, thrusting the rose in front of her face. “Here’s your rose. Will you go to prom with me?”

Dinah’s eyebrows shot up. A big dopey grin formed on her lips as she took the rose from Niall. “Can I get a Hallelujah? Can I get an Amen? Feels like the Holy Ghost’s running through ya, when you get asked to prom… Yes, I’ll go to prom with you, Leprechaun,” she answered with an eye roll.

 _“I find my soul revival singing every single verse,”_ Ariana sang quietly. She blinked and looked up. “What? We’re not singing anymore? Bummer.”

“No, honey bee, we’re not,” Harry said almost suspiciously. He frowned deeply. “Why are you sitting at this table, Ariana? You wouldn’t be caught dead sitting with poor people. You said so yourself in the third grade that we all have cooties.”

“True, but I had my cootie vaccine not too long ago, so I think I’m safe now.”

“Blargh,” Niall gagged. “Don’t ever talk about your medical problems again, Grande. I don’t even wanna know what’s hidden in your coochie.”

Ariana chuckled dryly. “Wouldn’t you like to know?” She smiled over at Louis. “Oh, you’re the boy that just moved here from New Jersey, right? I’m Ariana.” She held her hand out for him to shake.

Louis’s tilted his head to the side. “I moved here in September…”

“Oops, my bad!”

Lauren cleared her throat and drummed her fingers on the table. “I assume you all didn’t come here just for Niall to ask Dinah to prom. Who are the other roses for?” she asked almost impatiently.

Harry laughed. “I knew I couldn’t hide it from you for long.” He tossed her the rose which she caught with one hand. “Go to prom with me, Jauregui? I’ll promise that you’ll be going into the night… with _style._ ” He winked. When Lauren didn’t respond, his face fell a bit. “Get it? Cause my last name…”

“Yes, Harry, but I didn’t want to acknowledge it because it was terrible.”

“4/10, your delivery was so awkward,” Dinah added in agreement.

He scoffed and crossed his arms. “I’m never asking your sour butt to a school dance ever again. As the years go by, you get more and more disinterested.”

“I still haven’t said yes,” Lauren countered.

“Then who you gonna go with? You don’t have any other guy friends!” At that, Lauren turned to look at Louis.

Louis shook his head. “Nope. Sorry, this rose is for someone else.” He looked at Camila and smiled shyly, holding the rose out. Camila couldn’t contain her surprise as she took the rose from his hand. She expected a promposal from Shawn Mendes before one from Louis. “Will you do me the honor of going to prom with me?”

“Now, that’s a curveball!” Niall laughed.

Camila smiled and nodded. “Yeah. I’ll go with you. Think you can keep up being the date of a prom queen nominee?”

“Mm, I was nominated prom queen at my school. It was a very Kurt Hummel moment, but I took it with pride,” Louis said with a soft chuckle. “Sadly, I didn’t win.”

Lauren sighed. “Well, thanks, Camz, you took my date, so I _suppose_ I ain’t got nothing else to do but to go with Harry.” Harry fist pumped the air and then gave Niall a high five. Lauren glared heavily at him and snatched the rose from his hand. “I gotta do everything myself, huh? Leave it to me to be getting the boy with daddy issues his punch.”

Camila turned to Ariana, half-expecting her to be disgusted with the conversation. Instead, her gaze was fixated on the jocks’ table. Specifically, she was looking right at Shawn Mendes. Camila furrowed her brows. “What’s going on?” she whispered.

“Well, now that you ain’t gonna be with Shawn, I think I might hop on that,” Ariana whispered back.

Camila groaned. “Never-fucking-mind.” She sighed and turned back to the group. Thank God for Louis, was all that she could say. Now she didn’t have to worry about spending the whole night with someone she didn’t want to. And since Louis was definitely a cover-up for their gay activity, Camila could actually be going to prom with the two loves of her life. Had anyone ever gone to prom with two dates at Harrison? She had no clue, but she was already imagining it now: color-coordinated dresses, secret photoshoots at Lauren’s trailer, and an after-party taken place behind closed doors in Dinah’s barn.

She pushed her thoughts away and smiled, joining in the conversation that Niall had started about his wild encounter with a rabid raccoon in his backyard that surprisingly also got Ariana’s attention.

* * *

“For the last time…” Camila slammed the refrigerator door shut and spun on her heels. She groaned and ran a hand through her hair, eyeing Dinah’s bright pink poster that already had her name in glittery gold letters on it. “I don’t want to campaign for prom queen. So, please, cut this out before I _make_ you.”

Dinah pouted and stamped her foot. “But Mila, come on, you’re the only person I would willingly _vote_ for.”

“And what’s Normani Kordei? Chopped liver?” Camila retorted as she opened her yogurt cup. “Vote for her if you want your vote to count.”

“Normani ain’t my girlfriend,” Dinah protested. “You are, and you’re going to be the best prom queen _ever._ ”

Camila rolled her eyes and made her way back into the living room. Lauren’s brother had a basketball game so all the Jaureguis were out except for Lauren. Lauren didn’t hesitate to invite her two girls over for a study date/movie date/whatever the hell it was date. But it soon turned into a “Let’s annoy Camila as much as possible” date for Dinah. “You’re stubborn as hell. It’s a nuisance.”

“Not a nuisance. A _blessing_.”

“Who’s a blessing?” Lauren asked as she emerged from the bathroom, hair tied up in a messy bun and in nothing but a towel. She was just about to take a shower when Camila and Dinah arrived, so she told them to wait in the living room while she did her thing. Dinah had teasingly offered to join her but received a glare of death from the green-eyed girl. Camila’s jaw dropped because the least Lauren could do was put on some sweats. “Christ, y’all have seen me in less,” she scoffed.

Dinah grinned. “Oh, yes, still the audacity…” She licked her lips. “When are we gonna see them tiddies?”

Camila groaned and shoved her girlfriend. “Dinah, shh, stop looking,” she chastised, cupping her cheeks and forcing her to look at her. “Kiss the fully-clothed girl instead.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice.” Dinah pulled her into a searing kiss and pushed her up against the wall before Camila could even react.

Lauren groaned loudly and stormed off. “Disgusting,” she hollered. “Save some for me when I’m done changing.”

Dinah pulled away with a loud smack. “‘Kay!” She grinned down at Camila, brushing some of Camila’s messy hair out of her face. “She totally was jealous and wanted in on the action.”

“What happened to our rules where we include everyone in the kiss?” Camila asked teasingly.

The blonde shrugged, bringing her hand down to playfully squeeze Camila’s butt. “I like kissing you too much to let Lauren in on the action. Call me selfish, Cabello, but I just wanna kiss the shit out of you right now.” Dinah leaned back in and planted a fat kiss on Camila’s lips and held her firmly against her before kissing down her jawline to her neck. “Mm, I love my future prom queen so much,” she purred.

“Dinah,” Camila scoffed, trying to push the girl off of her. No wonder she was getting all affectionate. This had nothing to do with how much she liked her at all. “You’re not going to seduce me into campaigning. Cut this out.”

Dinah hummed in response and pulled away from her neck. “Baby, come on…” she whined. “I’ve always wanted to date the prom queen.” She smiled widely at her. “Please, babe? I promise I’ll make it worth it.”

“I’m about this close to dumping you for Lauren,” Camila threatened.

“Oh, what’s Dinah doing now?” Lauren asked as she emerged from her bedroom in her sweats and Sweet Potato Festival t-shirt. She barely glanced over at the compromising position both Dinah and Camila were in and scoffed. “DJ, stop trying to fuck our girlfriend against the wall. Our neighbors can hear us. Also, I want a kiss.”

“Brat,” Dinah spat. Camila slapped Dinah’s shoulder harshly. “Ouch! Alright, alright.” She let go of Camila and hopped over to Lauren, pulling her into a tight embrace before kissing her tenderly. “Hi, beautiful. You smell like vanilla,”

Lauren giggled playfully. “Thanks, babe. I’m using this new sugar cookie body lotion-”

Camila’s ears immediately perked up at the mention of sugar cookies and practically bolted over to Lauren. “Ohh! I wanna smell!” She ran over excitedly, grasping Lauren’s shoulder as support as she stood on her toes to sniff her girlfriend’s neck. “ _Wow,_ ” she breathed out, nuzzling her nose against it. “Sugar, sugar, you make my heart race. Even on a good day, you make the world taste better.”

“Oh, golly, can we cut the Maren Morris singing session out, you pathetic gays? We don’t gotta quote her every time we feel it’s appropriate. No one thinks it’s cool but you.” Dinah’s eyes widened in realization, swallowed the lump in her throat and bowed her head in embarrassment. “Never mind.”

“Right, so what do you guys wanna do?” Lauren asked, snaking her arms around both girls’ waists. “We can play board games, watch TV, cuddle… help strategize for Camila’s prom queen campaign…”

Camila groaned so loudly she was sure she made the floor vibrate. “Lauren, Dinah, _please_ , how many times do I have to tell you that I don’t want to campaign for prom queen?” She rolled her eyes as her forehead creased. “It’s getting borderline obnoxious now.”

Lauren laughed gently, pressing a kiss to Camila’s forehead. “Baby, I’m kidding. If you really don’t want to, I won’t push it, unlike Dinah here.”

“Hey!”

“Dinah, darling, you know it’s true. You and I are both the pushiest in this relationship.”

“Touche.” Dinah’s brows furrowed in thought, and she crossed her arms over her chest. “Say… but before I do write this off completely. I really wanna know why you don’t wanna campaign for queen.” She laughed softly. “I mean, babe, this makes you the most popular junior school practically. That’s a damn good achievement.”

Camila grimaced. She hated how this was all being compared to her popularity. It just made the whole prom more pretentious than it actually was. She really wished she hit this realization sooner before she ran around the hallways when she was younger trying to make herself look popular. “it’s because I don’t wanna overshadow Ariana and steal the votes. Like Jill Stein did during- Oh, Jesus, Lauren, don’t give me that look.” Lauren snapped her gaze away, pretending like she wasn’t making any sort of disgusted face. Camila sighed. “As I was saying, it’s a no-go for me. I wouldn’t want to ruin the seniors’ fun.”

Dinah snorted, shaking her head in disbelief. “Well, that’s stupid, Mila. Lauren and I are both seniors. Our fun wouldn’t be ruined! If anything, it’d be more fun. Right, Lauren?”

Lauren nodded. “I’d say so. The look on Ariana’s face when she doesn’t win a practical shoo-in victory.” She licked her lips and then grinned. “Priceless.” Dinah’s face lit up with triumph, while Camila could not believe Lauren was actually encouraging this. Damn it! Someone had to be on her side. This was why arguments were always so obnoxious between them. Most of the time, it’d be two versus one on a certain bullshit subject until the loser gave in because she was so freaking whipped for her girls. “However, I don’t think that’s the real reason.” Lauren gave Camila a knowing look.

“Uh…” Camila laughed nervously. “No?”

“Camz,” Lauren urged, blinking rapidly with a dopey smile on her face.

Camila furrowed her brows. “I- Alright,” she relented. Her eye twitched as she kept her gaze focused on the wall. “It’s for the same reason y’all go to school dances with Niall and Harry,” she said quietly. “Nobody wants a dyke as prom queen.” Her gaze moved to Lauren and Dinah, who regarded her intently and cautiously. She didn’t blame them. “I know I wouldn’t,” she added. “I am everything this town fights so hard to repress. The golden girl can’t possibly be one of _them._ God help us if our town’s finest falls under the influence of the degenerates. But it happened. Nothing that can be done about it now.” Camila laughed bitterly. “Don’t go preaching your crap about how no one suspects me and I’m paranoid. It’s too late. Even if that was true, somebody put shit on my locker. Somebody out here knows I like girls besides the people I’ve told, and I know for a fact that puts me on thin fucking ice. So for that reason alone, I have to lay low. I would give up thousands of crowns and sashes for my daddy’s love.”

“But you can’t let them win, Camila,” Lauren protested. “By doing this, you’re giving them power over you, and now they _know_ they can use this against you. They want you to be a coward! They want you to hide! _Fuck_ what they say, sheesh.”

Camila held her hand up to silence her. “No, Lauren. There’s no point in fighting for a lost cause. I will not risk everything because I think it’s wrong that some asshole wants to blackmail me. I’m not campaigning for prom queen only to have pig’s blood dropped on my head or to be humiliated _again._ ”

Lauren’s jaw clenched.

“And that’s final.”

Dinah exhaled loudly, but it sounded more like an exasperated sigh. Camila felt bad for shutting down Dinah’s aspirations like that, but it had to be said. There was no more room for sloppy mistakes anymore. One more wrong move, and not only would Camila lose her family, but she’d also probably lose Dinah and Lauren too because she might get sent away or forced to leave them. Camila would rather suffer through a closeted relationship than lose them. She just hoped Dinah and Lauren would understand.

“We support you, baby, no matter what,” the blonde said finally. “I can’t imagine the shit you deal with, and I think these next two months are gonna be hard before we-”

“Dinah,” Lauren hissed. “Don’t.”

Dinah frowned. “But-”

Camila’s stomach dropped. “Before you what…?”

Lauren shook her head. “Not now, Camz. It’s too early. We can’t just-”

Her fists clenched. Jaw tightened. Blood boiled. Camila hated the feeling bubbling up inside her. They were hiding something. Boy, did she hate liars. “Dinah. Lauren,” she stated firmly. “What’s going on?”

Dinah gave Camila panicked look and immediately started rambling. “Well, you see, we all planned this out since we were kids, but then you came along, and I know we said we would-”

“Dinah, what the fuck?” Lauren growled. “Shut up.”

Camila looked at Lauren dead in the eyes. “Lauren, stop.” She swallowed the lump in her throat. “We don’t keep secrets. That’s our number one rule. Communication is so important to us. Please don’t forget about that. I love you both, but… you’re killing me here.” She took a deep breath. “What’s going on?”

Dinah and Lauren exchanged glances, took a deep breath, and then looked back at Camila. “We both said we were going to Nashville for our music gig, and it’s pretty much a done deal. Niall gave us the apartment details during band practice. He found us a nice place right near where all the happening honky tonks are. We just gotta sign the lease,” Dinah explained.

“What?” Camila’s face lit up. “That’s amazing! I’m so happy for you… You’re going to be living your dreams now. Look at you, moving up in the world!”

“But that’s the thing, Camz, we-” Lauren swallowed thickly. “There’s more to it. If we go to Nashville in this apartment and live with the boys, we can’t stay here and wait for you to finish high school. If we sign the lease, we’ll be out of Silver real soon.”

Slowly, Camila’s face began to drop. She didn’t need a lot of extra information to know exactly what they were talking about. “How soon?” she croaked.

“We’d leave the day of graduation.”

Camila’s heart plummeted. Her hand covered her mouth as she muffled a sob. “You’re… speaking about this hypothetically now. But before… Dinah said before. Does that mean-”

“Yes, Camila,” Lauren confirmed. “We were actually considering it.”

Her vision blurred, and she stumbled backward. Luckily, Dinah was able to catch her before she crashed into the lamp. Her girlfriend held her tightly as Camila turned and buried her face into the crook of Dinah’s neck. “I don’t want you to go,” she whined. “I don’t want you to _go._ ”

“Shhh, hey, Mila, I got you,” Dinah mumbled softly in her ear.

Lauren groaned. “This is why I didn’t want to tell her, Dinah! We have no idea what we’re going to do yet. See? Now you made her upset.”

“Oh, take some responsibility, Lauren,” Dinah shot back. “You know if it weren’t for Camila, you would’ve taken it in a heartbeat.”

Camila let out a loud sob at that. Fuck. Of course, Lauren would. She loved her ambitions more than anything. More than Camila. “Don’t go. Don’t go. Don’t go, please,” she begged repeatedly, gripping Dinah’s shirt tightly as she cried. How painfully pathetic was the closeted cheerleader begging for her girlfriends to stay even though she would be shunning them in public?

“Mila, God, Mila, don’t cry. I’m sorry, baby.” Dinah held Camila closer. “Please know that I am so sorry. I love you. I care about you so fucking much. I promise… I’ll always be right there for you. You gotta understand that.”

“Fuck,” Lauren swore. “Fuckity, fuck, fucksauce!” She huffed and stomped her foot. “Why does everything gotta be so fucking complicated?” Camila tensed, fearing that she would punch something like a wall. But moments later, both Dinah and Camila were engulfed into a hug as Lauren wrapped her arms around them. She rested her forehead on Camila’s shoulder. “I love you, Camz. I’m so, so sorry. I know this made things so much worse. On top of prom, you gotta think about our future. We won’t bring this up again until we’ve at least got more details on the lease… or made an actual decision. This month is about us, and I’m going to make sure that we keep you safe and loved and away from the homophobes causing you trouble,” she rambled. She kissed her bare shoulder. “But, baby, I promise that nothing’s gonna happen to us, whatever we pick. You know that, right?”

And the truth was Camila didn’t. People had left her in the past. They could sure do it again. A promising career in music competing against your girlfriend from your hometown. Camila knew the obvious choice for Lauren and Dinah was the former. But like a true gentlewoman, seeing right through lies and lying through her own teeth, she nodded slowly. “I do. I do believe you’ll try to hold up your end of the promise.” Lauren sighed in relief and kissed her shoulder gently, mumbling quiet “I love you”s while Dinah hummed in approval above them and rubbed comforting circles on Camila’s back.

In her thoughts, ringing like a church bell on a Sunday service, was the truth.

_But you won’t. But you won’t. But you won’t._


End file.
